LITTLE BROTHERS UGH  2:31 pm December 1, 2010

WikiLeaks Documents: Canada Doesn’t Trust U.S., Doesn’t Feel Loved By It

by Jack Stuef

A trove of diplomatic cables, obtained by WikiLeaks and made available to a number of publications, disclose a perception by American diplomats that Canadians “always carry a chip on their shoulder” in part because of a feeling that their country “is condemned to always play ‘Robin’ to the U.S. ‘Batman.’ ” [...]

It also noted that Canadian officials worried that they were being excluded from a club of English-speaking countries as a result of their refusal to take part in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. The United States had created a channel for sharing intelligence related to Iraq operations with Britain and Australia, but Canada was not invited to join.

Shut up, Canada. Opening your big Canadian mouth only makes you look less cool. [NYT]

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V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Take off, you hosers!

MLHencken December 1, 2010 at 3:02 pm

10 bucks is 10 bucks, eh?

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 3:11 pm

But that is like 38 metric beers.

johnnymeatworth December 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm

G'Day. I'm…ELRON McKenzie….

mrpuma2u December 2, 2010 at 11:09 am

What a bunch of knobs, eh?

the_onceler December 1, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Who even gave them permission to say this in English? They can jabber about it in French all they want.

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2010 at 2:45 pm

In early 2008, American diplomats stationed in Ottawa turned on their television sets and were aghast: there was an “onslaught” of Canadian shows depicting “nefarious American officials carrying out equally nefarious deeds in Canada,” from planning to bomb Quebec to stealing Canadian water supplies.

Oh dear — so Dubya-era diplomats watch prime-time dramas and conclude that they reflect some sort of general mood of the people. Do they watch US television and conclude that we're all undercover cops who slink around dark buildings with our guns drawn, or else we're all doctors engaged in torrid affairs with our coworkers?

Fortunately, as time has progressed from the Dark Ages of 2001-2008, it seems the Canadian perception of the US has improved — and that's in spite of our now being run by a socialist liberal elitist who doesn't understand the working man.

the_onceler December 1, 2010 at 3:06 pm

or get ideas on how to torture terrorists from watching a TV show called 24?

horsedreamer_1 December 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm

With Kiefer Sutherland, a Canadian, as Jack Bauer.

jjdaddyo December 1, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Haha, it was funny I was watching one of those shows on Netflix the other day– "Intelligence" – it's a cop show that takes place in Vancouver, where the villains are either US gangsters or US government agencies half the time. That was the show with the "stealing Canadian water" plot also.

Negropolis December 1, 2010 at 10:48 pm

I'll admit on it's face it seems kind of ridiculous, but when the plots of supposedly half-way serious dramas are as ridiculous as Americans planning to bomb fuckin' Quebec (we'd bomb Alberta for it's oil, if anywhere at all), well, I can understand how they may think they aren't dealing with the most friendly neighbors. Culture tends to reflect itself in other places.

GuyClinch December 1, 2010 at 2:47 pm

What is this "Canada" of which you speak?

V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 3:58 pm

You may know it as "Canuckistan."

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm

It's the state to the North of Minnesota.

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:20 pm

Or, Minnesota is the Banana Belt of Saskatchewan.

Negropolis December 1, 2010 at 10:49 pm

It's that place nearest Sarah Palin.

You know, the "other nation I can see from my front porch."

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 10:58 pm

It means OUR HAT.

BarryOPotter December 2, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Upper, Upper Michigan

HistoriCat December 3, 2010 at 9:26 am

It's the place everyone is planning on fleeing to once President Palin is sworn in. Except for the Wonkettariat, who know that Costa Rica is the place to go.

SexySmurf December 1, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Canada is also condemned to be the Gabrielle to our Xena, the Rory to our Lorelei, the Sam to our iCarly, and the Beans to out Pork 'n'.

GOPCrusher December 1, 2010 at 2:53 pm

I'm getting tired of seeing all these Canadians, taking advantage of our wonderful Health-Care system. FINISH THE DAMN FENCE!

Radiotherapy December 1, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Exactly, that's why we pay three times as much for mediocre results. We must stop the unrelenting surge of cancerous canucks.

V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Long live! Or, long may they keep me alive w/cheaper meds!

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Is that a real URL? because I would love to get a deal on Lunesta and Lyrica. Our (lack of) health care system sucks.

V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 10:56 pm

It's real. I use them for everything, save quite a bit.

BornInATrailer December 1, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Maybe we should stop referring to them as America's hat. That is kinda demeaning.

FNMA December 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I always thought it was "America's slow cousin."
I know, I know, leave Trig alone!

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Do they prefer "America's Condom?"

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Nah. They obviously can't keep us from fucking the North Pole.

Negropolis December 1, 2010 at 10:51 pm

"America, Jr." is the politically correct term, now, I hear. They change it up more than the Afro-Americans. Wait, that's not what you call them, now? Fuck.

HistoriCat December 3, 2010 at 9:27 am

The very very Northern?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:04 pm

You're right.

America's CHAPEAU.

glamourdammerung December 1, 2010 at 2:55 pm

It would be hilarious if we did not bother to give Canada access to this information because we just assumed they were spying on us too and already saw it.

MoeDeLawn December 1, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Maybe it's time we realized that maple syrup is a gateway to sharia. Send the frostbacks back!

the_onceler December 1, 2010 at 3:03 pm

would you like some poutine with that whine?

ttommyunger December 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Maybe if we quit starting unnecessary wars, roping their soldiers into them as our allies and then killing them ourselves…but that's crazy.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:15 pm

ttommy, you need to cut back on the peyote before you start hallucinating that we will behave like a lighthouse of democracy.

chascates December 1, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Maybe it's that acid rain thing?

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Good God, can Canada sound any more like my ex-girlfriend?

Radiotherapy December 1, 2010 at 3:34 pm

…Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

Mort_Sinclair December 1, 2010 at 4:44 pm

It's always about you. News flash: the world doesn't revolve you, eh? If you weren't so self-absorbed, you'd have figured out that this relationship had problems a long time ago, but that's par for the course with you.

Mort_Sinclair December 1, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Note the time of irony's death. Six minutes ago. Somebody needs an irony transplant, stat. I'm the girlfriend talking, get it? Joke?

And I'm Canadian. Sheesh.

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Hey, hey, its all right. We only give you negative fisting because we love you, you know that, right?

Mort_Sinclair December 1, 2010 at 5:16 pm

I love you too, eh? **sniff** We can still be friends, right?

(Lost all my fucking mojo. WTF?!)

Worse, she swore like a stevedore….

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:06 pm

We knew you were Canadian. That was why.

BarryOPotter December 2, 2010 at 2:31 pm

"See what you made me do, baby? Now I'm going to have to you give you a fist up! Honey, hurtin' you is the last thing I want to do…, but it's still on the list!"

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Fuck. Are YOU his ex-girl friend? Oh, wait. I said that to my husband today, and I'm not Lionel's ex-girlfriend.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Was she French?

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 3:13 pm

And hasn't Canada learned anything? If they want to be taken seriously, start a nuclear program like North Korea, Iran or Belgium.

Barbara_i December 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Yep, they think of us as "Gretzsky-snatchers" "skinny bacon lovers" and "upper Mexicans"

V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm


revmod December 1, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Not true. We don't think of you as skinny anything.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Okay, fine, you pass the vision test.

yellowerdog December 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I've always thought that an intelligent way to verify/crazy check U.S. foreign policy is to check out the Canadians – ie. they did Korea, but not Vietnam, Afghanistan I, but not Iraq. Plus they have Labatts, eh?

MadBrahms December 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Labatts does *not* go in the plus column. Unibroue, though, ok.

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm

If you drink enough, it does.

DemmeFatale December 1, 2010 at 5:41 pm

When I had my 2nd child in Canada, they wheeled around a trolley with Labatts in the maternity ward.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:17 pm

I was right with you until the Labatts.

elviouslyqueer December 1, 2010 at 3:27 pm

So what the Canadians are saying is that they'd prefer an innocently homosocial Bromantic reacharound from the U.S. instead of being the passive partner in some incestuous homoeroticism, amirite?

/Scholarly Batman and Robin geek

XOhioan December 1, 2010 at 3:30 pm

"Scholarly" Batman and Robin geek? Please tell me you're not getting your PhD in Batman Studies.

V572625694 December 1, 2010 at 4:05 pm

And as soon as the DC Comics endowment arrives, chair of the department!

elviouslyqueer December 1, 2010 at 5:23 pm

That's "Cultural Studies" to you, son. Also, is your avatar an "I Rub My Duckie"?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:15 pm

No bickering, you people! We must stand together until our pee dignity is restored!

XOhioan December 2, 2010 at 5:12 pm

I believe it is a "Rub My Duckie." I hope they do not defend their trademark on political blogs.

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:13 pm

I dunno. But you sound smart to me.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:38 pm

1. I understood what you said, which actually worries me a little.

2. To answer your question: no. Because these "cables" were from US American diplomats, who wouldn't grasp "homosocial" if they were being grasped by it, and who make comic book analogies because (fill in the blank).

3. A Cultural Studies aside: At 63, I believe I'm a bit older than you. My base concept of Batman and Robin was formed from comics while I was nonpubescent. The concept of a "millionaire and his ward" living together and fighting crime together seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I was probably thirty before it penetrated that this might have been seen by some as an unconventional living arrangement.

4. Do you suppose there is any connection between Dick and Allen?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Heh heh. You said "penetrated!"

SudsMcKenzie December 1, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Send Celine Dion to Gitmo and I will love you long time.

elviouslyqueer December 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Put her in the same cell as Justin Beiber and let the Thunderdome games begin.

BornInATrailer December 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm

But rules of Thunderdome dictate 2 would enter, 1 would leave.

I don't want either leaving.

don_darrington December 1, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Everyone, this is crazy
Can't we all just get BEYOND Thunderdome?

don_darrington December 1, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Can't we all just get BEYOND Thunderdome?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:25 pm

Quit askin' or yer goin' IN the dome!

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:12 pm

I'm pretty sure they put "My Heart Will Go On" on a loop and played it in Gitmo. I know that halfway through that piece of shit and I would totally give up where the troops are landing.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Even if you didn't know, right?

gurukalehuru December 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Wait a minute, I thought Putin and Medvedev were Batman and Robin. Everybody can't be Batman and Robin.

mavenmaven December 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm

So Bush looking deep into Putin's eyes and soul, does that make him Catwoman? The Joker?

TimeCubist December 1, 2010 at 3:43 pm

In the case of the US and Canada, they may have been thinking of the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

MistaEko December 1, 2010 at 7:36 pm

If anything, Wikileaks has exposed that the State Department needs more and newer comic books.

mdotsota December 1, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Well, they're NOT an English speaking country. It's spelled ABOUT.

slithytovesss December 1, 2010 at 3:38 pm

Oh, Canada.

Bluestatelibel December 1, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Trust your instincts, Canada, trust your instincts.

horsedreamer_1 December 1, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Meanwhile, GeddyLeeks continues to get rebuffed in its efforts to increase U.S. imports. & they thought it would be so easy, with Michelle Obama's anti-obesity crusade. Turns out, she hates Moving Pictures even more than she hates white people.

Guppy06 December 1, 2010 at 4:20 pm

The important part is that the Canadian diplomats were too passive-aggressive to say any of this to our faces.

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:28 pm

We'll be seeing their leaked response on "Passive-Aggressive" anytime now!

ShiftyParadigm December 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm

This is the second "Batman and Robin" reference in Wikileaks. Good Lord, the diplomatic corps is peopled with ten year olds.

Failure_Artist December 1, 2010 at 4:31 pm

So which Robin are they? Haven't there been 20 since DC figured out they could kill one?

Mort_Sinclair December 1, 2010 at 4:48 pm

And wasn't one a chick?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Yeah, in the Dark Knight. Great comic.

Canuck237503 December 1, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Still, just a few months earlier, during a national election in Canada, the embassy had marveled that “despite the overwhelming importance of the U.S. to Canada for its economy and security,” parliamentary candidates were rarely mentioning anything about relations with their southern neighbor. "Ultimately, the U.S. is like the proverbial 900-pound gorilla in the midst of the Canadian federal election: overwhelming but too potentially menacing to acknowledge."

Yes, US official, we were just too intimidated by your overwhelming potential menace to make you the focal point of our last election. . .

ManchuCandidate December 1, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Note to my fellow rather sensitive Canada City dwellers. In case you haven't noticed, we are ROBIN.

You know what? Sometimes it's better to be Robin. Better than being a 300lb overweight bloated sometimes mentally dense/retarded Batman with his belly hanging out of his kevlar armor as he wades into a quagmire of its own making.

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:30 pm

You don't SOUND Canadian.

Grief_Lessons December 1, 2010 at 5:18 pm

At least they didn't refer to us as Krypto, Streaky, Beppo, or Comet to the US Superman.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:42 pm

How would you feel about "Harpo"? No lines, but pretty universally loved.

marionetta December 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Anybody tell the Ambassador that it was not a reality show he was watching?

What did he expect, watching the CBC (Communist Broadcasting Company)?

PS Canadians don't watch the CBC, unless it's a hockey game. That's it!! The cable was really about the Olympics gold medal hockey game; where the Canadian team creamed the US team!

Yeah us!!

DemmeFatale December 1, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Good old Canada!
Again with the inferiority complex!
Sheesh! Give it up already!
Every new outburst just highlights Canada's "little-man" complex.

(I see it here between San Francisco and San Jose. It's futile and tiresome.)

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Or between Oklahoma and Texas.

ShaveTheWhales December 1, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Oh, come on. As a long time San Joser, I have to deny your "futile and tiresome". I'll spot you "petty" or "childish", but it's not "futile" because it isn't actually trying to accomplish anything, and it's only "tiresome" if you lack a sense of humor.

I lived in Marin for five years, and in San Jo for thirty-one. No matter how big or important other parts of the Bay get, the City is the sun around which they all revolve. This is one of those cases where geography trumps everything. Everybody really knows that.

Every so often, some person or organization in the South Bay will fire a shot across SF's bow regarding population or GDP or whatever, and somebody or thing in the City will respond with overpowering snark. Hey, it's cheap entertainment.

DemmeFatale December 1, 2010 at 10:22 pm

I have to admit that living in Toronto, (World Class City!), for four years, and CONSTANTLY hearing about how heinous the U.S. is in every way, and than living on Long Island and hearing them bitch about NYC, (a place many of them have never visited) left me with a jaded attitude toward "second city" and "second country-itis."

And don't even get me started on Philly (the in-laws) vs. NYC!

mumbly_joe December 1, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Oh and hey, apparently an ex-Harper aide was so upset about Canada's shame being made public like this that he called for Obama to call for a hit on Assange. Dude, don't shoot the messenger.

Also, what don't you understand about our break-up? Why would we kill someone because you want us to, when we already dumped you because you wouldn't kill people for us? Nobody likes a needy ex, and a greedy needy ex is the worst of all. If we're going to have a one-assassination stand, you'd better return the favor, at least, instead of having us off yours, and then suddenly getting a headache or falling asleep or re-discovering a sensible foreign policy.

ManchuCandidate December 1, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Looking needy for US love isn't going to really help PM Fatty, er, Harper.

problemwithcaring December 1, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Well, Canda should shut up and do what Robin does – keep spending that Bruce Wayne largess and patiently waiting for Batman to die first.

Also, you gotta love the fact that this didn't make Wonkette front page. Always the fat friend, huh Canada?

neiltheblaze December 1, 2010 at 8:27 pm

I don't trust the U.S. either. Does that make me Canadian?

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:06 pm

You wish.

neiltheblaze December 1, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Well, yeah – I was sorta hoping…..

Negropolis December 1, 2010 at 11:01 pm

No, cause if that makes you Canandian, that means we wouldn't be able to try you for treason.

neiltheblaze December 2, 2010 at 12:02 am

I've lost all hope they'll annex New England – just too damn nice, those Canadians.

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:07 pm

The Canucks are still carrying a grudge from that time we bombed their soldiers in Afghanistan because they looked . . .French. Yeah. That's the ticket. They looked French.

DustBowlBlues December 1, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Best and funniest thread today. Of the one I read, anyway.

MilwaukeeKent December 1, 2010 at 10:26 pm

Forget the Batman/Robin analogy, also forget the anal in the Batman/Robin analogy, I'm thinking more that one of us is the drunken brother-in-law FU in some cosmic sit-com.
The Canadian attitude seems to be Minnesota Nice with lots more ice. You'd think they caught us taking pot-shots at the Giant Nickel of Sudbury with our hunting rifles, not that I'd know anything about that.
Since Toronto was of about the same population and significance as Milwaukee back in 1970, and is now widely considered a world city on par with Paris or London while Milwaukee is that slightly inconvenient dogleg on the Chicago-Madison-Twin Cities routing of a rock-band tour, I suspect the drunken-brother-in-law is us, the US, the Lower 50.

transfatz December 2, 2010 at 3:23 am

Beware Canada, we are not gazing lovingly into your eyes, we are really staring at the bridge of your nose.

MiniMencken December 2, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Wait a gol-durned minute, isn't poutine the French way to spell Putin? Coincidence?

onemoretime79 December 2, 2010 at 10:41 pm

Do we hate Canada because so many of them are French?

sarjo December 1, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Do they carry Mexican brown?

BornInATrailer December 2, 2010 at 9:20 am

Thunderdome has a serious echo.

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