it's morning in america

Celebrating Rosa Parks and Other ‘Urban’ Women Steve King Hates

The TSA, molesting poor Rosa

  • Fifty-five years ago today, a “very, very urban” woman named Rosa Parks refused to surrender her bus seat to Whitey, and soon thereafter the FBI did everything it could to destroy the civil rights movement forever. Thankfully they failed, but maybe Rand Paul will be able to repeal the Civil Rights Act? (Keep your fingers crossed, FBI!) But anyway, our sad country has come a long way since 1955. We have a black president now — and Shirley Sherrod — which proves we live in a glorious post-racial world, where undesirable black people are simply “urban Kenyans.” Ha ha. Also, happy Hanukkah. [Politico]
  • Julian Assange is now being sought by Interpol (not the band). [NYT]
  • Will the FCC be able to keep the Internet neutral? Not if Comcast has its way, which it probably will. Crap! [WP]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman
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  1. sarjo

    Wow, it's a strange new world indeed when Riley, Wonkette's token teenager, is the first one up and working!

    1. Negropolis

      But, but, his mother was a white woman from Kansas. Surely, that has to account for something in the conservatives' narrative of Obama, right?

    1. metamarcisf

      It wasn't me. I think someone from Breitbart is reverse-fucking with me. Now I can't find my comments 'cause I'm looking for the Red. And, how could my score possibly go from a -120 to a +85 overnight?

  2. slappypaddy

    that's what happens when you let those darkies off the plantation and send them to the city to work in the war-trash factories, they get all urban and uppity. next thing you know, they get tired after a long day's work and fed up at whitey's bullshit, and call him on it.

    thank you, rosa parks. thank you, dr. king. thank all the rest of you who have struggled and suffered to help make this a better country. you did. you really did. no reactionary racists from bumfuck confederistan can ever change that.

    1. DoktorZoom

      Amen and Amen. I'm about halfway through Isabel Wilkerson's The Warmth of Other Suns, which is quite simply epic in its history & analysis of the population shifts from the Jim Crow South to the redlined Urban North. Highly recommend it.

      Warning for Breitbarbarians: The author seems to think that white people were responsible for segregation and racism. This may shock your delicate sensibilities.

      1. Chet Kincaid

        Thanks for the book reco. Sounds like "The Greatest Generation" for my parent's generation. As Dizzy's boys chanted at the beginning of the kick-ass live version of "Manteca," "I'll never go back to Georgia! (What?)"

        1. problemwithcaring

          I just finished "The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness."

          (que Debbie Downer sad trombones.)

      1. HurricaneAli

        Maybe I haven't been keeping up with your It's Morning in America posts, but I don't believe I have EVER seen you comment. I thought maybe you were an AI in Ken Layne's iPod. Glad to know better – thanks for being awesome.

          1. DoktorZoom

            You seem at least somewhat awesome, even if you're not Riley. Plus, you're a slut with a blog, but not a blogwhore, so you have that going for you.

  3. V572625694

    Muscular Jeebus wouldn't have approved of Urban Dr King's idea of being a Christian: “We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering."

      1. V572625694

        It's so beautiful I have to post it all:

        “We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. We shall meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will, and we shall continue to love you. We cannot in good conscience obey your unjust laws, because non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as co-operation with good. Throw us in jail, and we shall still love you. Send your hooded perpetrators of violence into our community at the midnight hour and beat us half-dead, and we shall still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall win freedom, but not only for ourselves. We shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory.”

        1. DoktorZoom

          Nice words, but do we have a holiday honoring the bravery of civil rights workers who showed their courage by killing the enemy? Manly Jesus is not impressed.

        2. Chet Kincaid

          It's a nice sentiment, and an effective tactic if your enemy is capable of shame, but it's fucking depressing if white folks will only accept your full humanity if they're allowed to kick the shit out of you endlessly without getting any pushback except some public handholding and hymn-singing. That is why MLK and Malcolm X (not to mention Booker T. and W.E.B.) have had a virtual debate for decades.

  4. PsycWench

    "Julian Assange is now being sought by Interpol" = "Diplomatic leaks, uh… Hey! Look over there! "

    1. OneDollarJuana

      You know, weapons inspector Scott Ritter had some "trouble" after he came out with embarrassing information and opinions during the Iraq War runup.

      1. V572625694

        You don't want to fuck with the Gods of War when they've made up their minds, do you? Ritter was nobody's sweetheart (like Assange), but he was right. Unforgivable!

      1. bitchincamaro2

        Indeed. One accuser claims JA's scumbag burst and he refused to extricate himself. I guess he figured– in for a penny, in for a pound.

  5. DashboardBuddha

    OT – Not that it matters…just curious you understand. But, why did my p-score go from a sparkling 97 to a pedestrian 83? Have I offended the Wonkette gods in someway? Like I said, not that it really matter, especially since LimeyLizzie said she loved me. ;-)

    1. V572625694

      Your high pscore was damaging to the self of steam of other Wonketeers, and was reduced in the Kenyan spirit of anti-colonialism.

      1. DashboardBuddha

        You know…this is a lot like the folks that share the road with me on the clogged artery I call my commute. They're being all kind and all to the 3…4…5 people, letting them in, yet forgetting that they're being rude to the 150 drivers behind them who just want to get where they're fucking going.

        On second thought, this has nothing to do with my p-score…I just wanted to bitch about my drive.

      2. OneDollarJuana

        Hey, yesterday mine was 84, now it's 67! Has there been a wholesale devaluation, or did I "p" somebody off?

          1. DoktorZoom

            Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?

            (I had 93 pees t'other day. Have Breitbart trolls been engaged in a
            conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily p-scores? Or is Kim Jong Il running IntenseDebate now?)

        1. PsycWench

          I've been hoarding p's in the face of the apocalypse that will ensue if Sarah Palin somehow gets elected to something. And I'm not giving them back.

          Oh crap, mine went down too.

    2. HurricaneAli

      my buddhist training tells me not to be attached to pee points, but the delusion of pee points as in indicator of my self-worth is too strong.

    3. elviouslyqueer

      That's what you get for going over to BigGovernment and calling Andrew Breitbart a scum-sucking lardass with a poop fetish. Oh, wait, that should've increased your p score.

    4. Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Mine just crashed, too. The IntenseDebate site says that the reputation score is the product of an algorithm that includes the number of posts, the thumbs-up votes, something having to do with time, and — more heavily weighted — the thumbs-down votes. So I suspect that there is a Breitbartsack or two among us, scanning through the comments and deflating the scores of target Wonketters. Domestic terrorism, really.

      I've decided to take the attitude of our fellow heros with negative p-scores, and consider my low GPA to be a badge of honor.

      Incidentally, Andy Breitbart is a skeevy, masturbating animal-torturer who does not wipe properly, and compulsively shoplifts boys-size underpants from K-Mart.

      1. PsycWench

        Oh. I heard he just bought the used ones from the boys.
        There was a guy in Philadelphia who really did buy teenage boy's underwear and socks. Far from being freaked out, the boys were quite pleased with their gold mine.

          1. BeWoot

            I've always wondered about that, since I almost always buy socks in matched pairs. There are a number of theories on this mystery, though. I like Dave Barry's guess, that when you hear a strange, quiet noise at night, that's the sound of a sock running away from home.

            A bigger mystery is, who's stealing the Wonketteer P's. Also, I wonder if this means metamarcist (sp?) is gaining pee points.

        1. SorosBot

          Uncle Eddie! The guys he bought the underwear from all went to a rival boys' Catholic high school to mine; we loved having that to mock them over.

      2. SorosBot

        Was there another Breitbart troll invasion yesterday? I've noticed there's one of the old invading trolls who's following me, and about once a day someone goes through and knocks all the recent comments down one point, so you get a profusion of new 0-pointers. Maybe this idiot recruited some other fans of the giant racist shithead, and doesn't realize that this actually pisses us off just as not at all as voting for Bristol Palin on a shitty TV show.

        1. JadedDissonance

          We are at the whim of whatever windmill tilting fool dodders past. I am personally glad that Ken has stopped writing for AOL. Remember the fun that used to drudge up?

        2. DoktorZoom

          Oh yeah? Well if you really don't care, why are you liberals freaking out about it so much, huh? I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! Neener-neener-neener!

          1. slappypaddy

            it's redeemable in consolidated debt obligations, maturity date february 2062. go to your nearest bank of america branch, and good luck.

      3. DashboardBuddha

        Breitbartsack or two among us, scanning through the comments and deflating the scores of target Wonketters

        I'm at a loss for words about how mind bogglingly sad that is. Really…it seems to me that most of the folks here go out and do good stuff for the world, but come here for the larfs and to blow off steam. To think that there is a paid/unpaid drone for a rightwing sweaty ballsack whose sole job is to go in to another site and fuck with the comments is astounding. Are these people that insecure/paranoid? Does Breitbart have that large an insecure overweening ego?

        Well…to paraphrase Jesus…"There will be douchebags with us always."

        1. DoktorZoom

          Dude, it's not a job–it's a mission. Like spending 2-5 hours a day voting up Bristol on DADT or whatever that show is.

          1. DashboardBuddha

            I guess I should be honored in a way. It's taken me weeks to get up to 97P, but overnight it dropped 14 points. My pointless ramblings and shameless attempts to get a laugh are that much of a threat or that offensive?

            If so, good.

          2. sarjo

            Watch out, Interpol will be "seeking" you soon–such raw power to shamelessly curry approval from faceless peers is a threat to the very fabric from which society is woven!

        2. SorosBot

          It's so pathetic I almost feel sorry for the sad person; then remember he (almost definitely) is a fan of that huge racist liar, and sympathy goes out the window.

    5. JadedDissonance

      No worries, this is just a natural market-correction in response to Breitbart devaluing his P-Currency.

        1. DoktorZoom

          I need a photo opportunity
          I want a shot at redemption
          don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard

          1. slappypaddy

            bonepicker, bonepicker, i'll duck into the alleyway with the little bat-faced girl, see angels in the architecture, sing hallelujah.

    6. Radiotherapy

      We've all lost our pee. Mass incontinence. I demand reparation.

    7. PuckStopsHere

      Mine dropped 17 pts after I called Joe Barton a mothrr-fawker which really confused me as I thought that in pee pts–as in libel–the truth is an absolute defense. Either that or I am THE WORST COMMENTATOR ON WONKET, with which I am okay, btw. I'd rather be the worst than not at all…

    8. Terry

      I DID get reprimanded over on Jezebel yesterday for saying that Madonna seems to have gotten some really unfortunate cheek implants….which she has.

    9. widestanceroman

      Today we are all diminished p (or 'I'd hit that').

      OK, got the stock comments out of the way. Owing to my general malaise, I've been mostly lurking without commenting for a while, and my p-ness is intact this morning. But, I have noticed my p-ness fluctuating for no apparent reason (not even road vibrations) and try not to think about why since all guesses lead to yet more malaise.

    10. jim89048

      In a possibly unrelated matter, the value of my deferred comp 457 plan also went down this morning. Oh, who am I kidding, it's totally related.

      1. Grizzlyalbert

        Holy shit, Jim, You’ve discovered a leading indicator. When the Ps start going down – sell, when they start going up – buy.

    11. marinmaven

      I was at 87 p-points this morning and then suddenly fell to 52. WTF? Is this because this is a new month? Are our posts not "INTENSE" enough? It is important to note this rating system has little to do with Wonkette, but has everything to do with this INTENSE DEBATE crap. My only question is how long is Wonkette going to have us toil under such a system.
      Either Wonketteers need to get busy and start stuffing the p-point ballot boxes for each other or Wonkette needs go with a different commenting system. Is there a commenting system that rewards with whore diamonds? You should be able to get someone who programs stuff like that to do this for us. Thank you and have a nice day.

    12. sarjo

      Wake up, Skum!
      No Breitbarter could have hit us all at once.
      Who is it that: 1) Has the power to do anything; 2) Hates us all?

      KEN LAYNE is doing this to our p-scores!!!

    13. donner_froh

      I went to bed last night wondering if my p score was ever going to move into the magic 90 level being stuck at 89 for what seemed to be several lifetimes. I woke up this morning (afternoon actually) to find it had dropped to 69 so I learned a valuable lesson although I don't know what it is yet.

  6. horsedreamer_1

    I want to know why a God-fearing capitalist Euro-descended burger was riding a Communist omnibus.

    1. V572625694

      Plus he's got three unpaid parking tickets and an overdue library book. The guy's a one-man crime wave.

  7. SorosBot

    Where in the World is Julian Assange? The culprit was wearing a black coat, and said he wanted to visit Victoria Falls.

  8. BaldarTFlagass

    My guess would be that some nice young undercover FBI agent persuaded Rosa not to give up her seat on the bus. "You want to stick it to the man, don't you?"
    If that didn't work, the fallback was to try and sell her a black-market bazooka with which to "git whitey."

    1. V572625694

      Protecting civil rights activists (once they were finally shamed into doing it) was the most hated and career-killing duty in the FBI, worse than being sent to the Boise office.

  9. SorosBot

    Oh, and fuck Comcast, and fuck Verizon as well. If I had some other choice besides those two huge fucking douchebag shithead assholes who make an appointment and then just never fucking show up or even call, I might actually have internet service at the my new apartment by now.

    1. Terry

      Verizon is the anti-Christ, basically. An elderly relative of mine, when trying online bill paying for the first time, accidentally sent a payment of $6500 instead of $65.00. Verizon didn't want to give the money back, instead told a person over 80 to just leave it on account and he'd never have to pay a phone bill again. We had to cover a HUGE overdraft on his account, find the $6K to pay it. After months and months of arguing with Verizon, a reporter for the Wash Post intervened and Verizon cut the check that very day.

      Verizon can go straight to hell.

  10. Winnie_Cooper

    Can I now be sought by Interpol (the band)? Because I really like "Evil," and talent is always attractive. Plus, I'm pretty sure that at least one of them is British, so if there are accents, so much the better.

    1. uncuntstitutional

      Catherine Z Jones worked there in Amsterdam until she hooked up with Benjamin Button in the Great Train Robbery sequel to Ocean's 27.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      a laurel, and hearty handshake

      I'd like to profess my love and devotion to you, Prommie. Publicly.

      1. prommie

        Pshaw, I only quote the great Mel Brooks.

        Hey, who pushed me down to an 80, overnight, what the fucks going on here, I care about this shit, damnit.

        1. DoktorZoom

          "Tragedy is when I cut my little finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." (I cited that'n in my dissertation, I did.)

    1. prommie

      He is certainly a threat to the New Order. Thats my second Joy Division-New Order pun this month, whoda thunk they would keep coming up?

  11. Terry

    Hey, who the heck is mad at me? My P rating went from the 90's to the 70's in less than an hour! No fair!

    1. uncuntstitutional

      did you make several comments? your p gets diluted by the volume of your comments.

      also, who cares? bring the funny, ignore the p

    2. slappypaddy

      yeah, mine dropped, too, like a low-pressure system moving in fast and the barometer plummeting. but hey, i went to the store yesterday and tried to buy me a can of hobo beans with my p-scores, and the cashier said, "sorry, suckah, them things is worthless, all we take are gold bars and unspent bullets."

    3. CapeClod

      The Treasury Department claimed that our P scores were over valued and threatened tarrifs on Truck Nutz and Candy Underwear if Wonkette didn't drop them.

  12. PublicLuxury

    Steve King is very upset because if that Parks woman would have done as told all this current urban-ness would've been avoided. Barack Obama, his wife and children would have turned white and all these messy urban problems would go away. Barack Obama's name would be Bobby Olson, an American name, easy say and easy to spell. But no. That uppity urban just had to sit down. WTF. Whitey was tired too. Plus, Whitey was a MAN a WHITE MAN so, of course, he was much more tired than that urban and naturally superior to any woman especially urban women. After all, he had his feet up on his desk at an odd angle which caused some ankle and foot discomfort. Yeesh, when are these urbans going to learn their place?

  13. elpinche

    Very very very urban….that's as niggerish as you can get .

    Steve King can't control his raging racism for a brief moment not even on the House podium.

  14. Worthly Wokette Skum

    I have a dream that, one day, a child will be judged not by the color his skin, but by the nationality of his imagined missing birth certificate.

  15. Neilist


    We don't have a "black President."

    We have a Magic Mulatto President.

    Please be more careful regarding your use of terminology in the future.

    Semantics Division
    Wonkette Corporate Headquarters

    P.S. What's the acronym for "Magic Mulatto President Who's Jimmy Carter In Blackface"? "MPWJCB"? It's not too earlier to be thinking ahead . . . .

      1. Neilist

        Loathe though I am to admit that any of you Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM are right about anything, you've got me there, Sarjo.

        After all, look at us miscegenating Black Irish: One tiny taint of that Brown Sugar in our ancestry and it's "Faith and Begorra — MOTHERFUCKER!"

        (And it's usually more than a tiny taint — although none of us has enough "colored blood" to be able to dance properly. Or have a jumpshot.


        On a slightly more serious note: Rosa Parks was a hell of a woman.

        But she would have been better had she boarded that bus carrying a MACHINE GUN.

        Or maybe the new XM-25 smart grenade launcher — $24 per round notwithstanding.

        "Back of the bus?" :::::BOOM:::: "There is no 'back of the bus' anymore, MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

        Fredrick Douglas Scholar of Race Relations and Small Arms
        Some Community College In The Middle Of Nowhere
        Right Next To the Walmart
        (Working on his screenplay, "Rosa Parks: THE REVENGE!")

  16. lulzmonger

    Wow, Rosa Parks igniting the most inspirational civil rights protest of the 20th Century gets a whopping THREE comments on Politico – whereas anything with Tundra Barbie as the subject is guaranteed 180 comments … because Americans know what's important!

    1. Gainsbourg69

      Some predict that the U.S. will descend into an idiocracy in a generation or two. I say that shit kicked off around the mid-nineties.

    2. sarjo

      Well, to be fair, the majority of the almost-200 comments here have fuck-all to do with Rosa Parks.

      Still: Thank you, Rosa Parks!!!

Comments are closed.