Scary Environmentalist ‘Dragon’ Also Trying To Destroy Christianity

  today we are all beowulf

Here is something for your church to purchase! “Leading Christian experts” will teach you to “resist the Green Dragon.” Our political leaders are using scare tactics to force poor people to drink bleach, remove fetuses from every woman’s womb and turn them into terrorists, and, certainly, destroy your local well-funded, VHS-purchasing evangelical church, and some brave Christians have assembled to fight this with scare tactics of their own. These evil environmentalists are a veritable GREEN DRAGON (because “Godzilla” was trademarked).

Yes, calling your opponents a mystical creature that never existed really makes your message seem sound.

And hey! Look who makes an appearance in this video:

Bryan Fischer, American Family Association [...]
Tony Perkins, Family Research Council

Those ones are our favorites! Someone please buy this for your editor for Christmas so he can make fun of it and then feed it to the Green Dragon, who eats the Word of God for sustenance.

(Also, if the video wasn’t clear, God hates his Creation and wants you to destroy it, BTW FYI LOL. Get on that.) [Resisting the Green Dragon via Wonkette operative "chascates"]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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