Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.
By the way, you have to confirm to YouTube you are at least 18 years of age if you click through to watch this video. Gross.
Conyers — in his aisle seat — is shown flipping though pages showing two nude gal pals in the August issue of Playboy. And he also apparently reads Hefner’s product for the articles. The pages he lingers on appear to feature an article entitled ‘La Chatte’ by Maureen Gibbon, on article exploring lesbian sex.
Nice work! Well, his insane 46-year-old wife is in jail for accepting bribes, so this poor old man has to get off somehow. And they don’t let you fap to porn on laptops when you’re about to take off, so this had to be done analog-style.
Please think of horny John Conyers and his porno mag tomorrow when you get your mouth around a forkful of turkey smothered in gravy. [Political Wire]
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Actually, those are notes from his Judiciary Committee on the constitutionality of new TSA-based legislation.
Funny, I always figured Conyers would be more of a Gent gent.
At least it's not Boys' Life.
Thank God he let Rep. Rothman's CoS borrow his copy.
You beat me to it.
He's a Democrat after all.
And…?
In his defense, the magazine belongs to Harold Ford Jr.
Only white women, eh?
"Harold — call me."
I think Conyers was trying to make a pass at whomever was sitting next to him. He is ready to pop. A quick handjob under the magazine (paper) is just what Conyers needs for turkey day.
I thumbed it, but good God I wish I could unthink it.
Time to release the python!
NO! I am sick of the motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane!!
Snake on a Plane?
What the hell was he looking at an August copy for? The January issue should be out on the newsstands by now.
Well, at least the pages were not stuck together.
Yet.
Is this a case of pro bono, or maybe pre-Boehner, fapping for a grateful electorate?
With the new republican leadership set to take over the house, I am pretty sure fapping will be the start of every session.
Lot of fapping, not a lot of finishing, it will be like 100's of men desperately trying to produce milk from their bear-chested mammary glands.
Playboy isn't even considered in teh pron category anymore, is it? But my home page is 2 girls 1 cup, so maybe I'm jaded…
Stay klassy John!
No, you stay classy. Two dames, one chalice, please.
last time i was on a flight, "how to deal with sitting next to an engorged congressman" was not covered by the in-flight safety instructions, or the laminated card located in the seat in front of you – which i'm cool with.
Splooge is The New Thanksgiving Gravy.
I though it was that white gravy they use for sausage and biscuits. I would think it is healthier than stuff they use down south, but I will pass on my serving.
John Conyers is part of a new TSA program that lets airline passengers molest themselves.
Speaking of floating reptile news.
My respect for John Conyers just grew strong and turgid.
come on, people, he only gets it for the articles.
Of course. That's why I keep my subscription to Bild. How else can I get my fix for die, der and einem?
not to mention das, ein, and eine.
Odd coincidence, just yesterday I was esplaining to my 13 year old that Playboy used to actually have a reputation for good journalism and interviews (I was looking up a Kurt Vonnegut quote for the Wonkette, and he saw that one of the KV lines came from Playboy).
I get the impression that the kiddo still finds the entire notion of naked-lady magazines kind of ridiculous, though whether this is due to his not yet passing into full-blown puberty or to what he may know about internet pr0n, I prefer not to know.
Hallelujah, I'm a born-again Vegeterianist. Pass the tofurkey.
By the way, iPhone's autocorrect wanted to replace "tofurkey" with "rigidity." Ceiling Cat is pleased by this show of devotion.
There's a website for that.
Whenever I'm in an airport bookstore and I see them selling Playboy and Penthouse behind the counter I always wonder if anyone actually bought them. What type of weirdo reads porn on a flight.
Well, there you go.
You've never flown out of Utah than, they have half-naked men in speedos running around now.
http://jonanderic.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-speedo...
He was just reading for the articles!
This might be a good TSA avoidance strategy. If you have a bag full of porn, the TSA people might be a tad reluctant to pat you carnally or even touch you.
My wife and I decided the next time we fly, our only carry-on will be a roller bag stuffed to the gills with sex toys. Big ones, using D cells and all running at maximum rpm.
They won't let you bring handcuffs onto an airplane. Even if they are fur lined.
Um… that's what I heard.
A member of the GOP would be reading Butt.
Jesus H. Christ. I once flew first class from Seattle to NY and the jackass next to me whipped out a Playboy and read it like it was the most natural thing. I kept thinking "Wow…no one is going to believe this." Alas……
You mean you don't have in laws that have Playboys in the bathroom next to the cocoa butter lotion?
Didn't they arrest Alvin Greene for doing that same thing? Also!
He was black in S. Carolina duh!
Good thing the airlines stopped handing out blankets.
I assume these magazines are gratis on the fondling line?
Personally, I hate it when I have to sit next to a wide-stancer / toe-tapper.
I'm sorry, Wonketeers, I've seen porn, I've worked with porn, I know porn and PLAYBOY is not porn.
Conyers has a reputation around the Motor City for being pretty omnisexual.
They still make porn on *paper*?!?!?
Playboy? That's almost sweet. If a Republican had been sitting in that seat, it would more probably have been a copy of Inches.
This comes as kind of surprise, because it's always been whispered around Detroit for decades (yeah, he's been in Congress that long) that he's gay. His marriage to the hot mess that is Monica "Bribe Me" Conyers was supposed to put that too rest.
Wow. I won't even bring last month's Wired on a plane.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/12/wired-br...
Back in Washington, Conyers introduced HR 6969, "in which this body declares itself resolved to be long, strong, and down to get the friction on."
He was probably drooling over Megyn Kellys slutty picture.
Sorry, but this doesn't even make sense.
Maybe relax and think before you write, maybe try a yoga class or something?
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