Here Is John Conyers On An Airplane Fapping To Playboy Magazine

  the dean of house boners

Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.

By the way, you have to confirm to YouTube you are at least 18 years of age if you click through to watch this video. Gross.

Conyers — in his aisle seat — is shown flipping though pages showing two nude gal pals in the August issue of Playboy. And he also apparently reads Hefner’s product for the articles. The pages he lingers on appear to feature an article entitled ‘La Chatte’ by Maureen Gibbon, on article exploring lesbian sex.

Nice work! Well, his insane 46-year-old wife is in jail for accepting bribes, so this poor old man has to get off somehow. And they don’t let you fap to porn on laptops when you’re about to take off, so this had to be done analog-style.

Please think of horny John Conyers and his porno mag tomorrow when you get your mouth around a forkful of turkey smothered in gravy. [Political Wire]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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