Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.

By the way, you have to confirm to YouTube you are at least 18 years of age if you click through to watch this video. Gross.

Conyers — in his aisle seat — is shown flipping though pages showing two nude gal pals in the August issue of Playboy. And he also apparently reads Hefner’s product for the articles. The pages he lingers on appear to feature an article entitled ‘La Chatte’ by Maureen Gibbon, on article exploring lesbian sex.

Nice work! Well, his insane 46-year-old wife is in jail for accepting bribes, so this poor old man has to get off somehow. And they don’t let you fap to porn on laptops when you’re about to take off, so this had to be done analog-style.

Please think of horny John Conyers and his porno mag tomorrow when you get your mouth around a forkful of turkey smothered in gravy. [Political Wire]

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  • CablinasianDem

    Actually, those are notes from his Judiciary Committee on the constitutionality of new TSA-based legislation.

  • Funny, I always figured Conyers would be more of a Gent gent.

  • Fare la Volpe

    At least it's not Boys' Life.

    • CablinasianDem

      Thank God he let Rep. Rothman's CoS borrow his copy.

    • GOPCrusher

      You beat me to it.

    • Terry

      He's a Democrat after all.

  • WhatTheHeck


  • SwanSwanH

    In his defense, the magazine belongs to Harold Ford Jr.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Only white women, eh?

      • SwanSwanH

        "Harold — call me."

  • PublicLuxury

    I think Conyers was trying to make a pass at whomever was sitting next to him. He is ready to pop. A quick handjob under the magazine (paper) is just what Conyers needs for turkey day.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I thumbed it, but good God I wish I could unthink it.

  • jim89048

    Time to release the python!

    • sherriawilson

      NO! I am sick of the motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane!!

    • Barbara_i

      Snake on a Plane?

  • GOPCrusher

    What the hell was he looking at an August copy for? The January issue should be out on the newsstands by now.

  • samsuncle

    Well, at least the pages were not stuck together.

    • Dimitrios_M


  • Is this a case of pro bono, or maybe pre-Boehner, fapping for a grateful electorate?

  • Beowoof

    With the new republican leadership set to take over the house, I am pretty sure fapping will be the start of every session.

    • Lot of fapping, not a lot of finishing, it will be like 100's of men desperately trying to produce milk from their bear-chested mammary glands.

  • Not_So_Much

    Playboy isn't even considered in teh pron category anymore, is it? But my home page is 2 girls 1 cup, so maybe I'm jaded…

    Stay klassy John!

    • horsedreamer_1

      No, you stay classy. Two dames, one chalice, please.

  • last time i was on a flight, "how to deal with sitting next to an engorged congressman" was not covered by the in-flight safety instructions, or the laminated card located in the seat in front of you – which i'm cool with.

  • DahBoner

    Splooge is The New Thanksgiving Gravy.

    • Beowoof

      I though it was that white gravy they use for sausage and biscuits. I would think it is healthier than stuff they use down south, but I will pass on my serving.

  • SexySmurf

    John Conyers is part of a new TSA program that lets airline passengers molest themselves.

  • Come here a minute

    Speaking of floating reptile news.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    My respect for John Conyers just grew strong and turgid.

  • slappypaddy

    come on, people, he only gets it for the articles.

    • user-of-owls

      Of course. That's why I keep my subscription to Bild. How else can I get my fix for die, der and einem?

      • slappypaddy

        not to mention das, ein, and eine.

    • DoktorZoom

      Odd coincidence, just yesterday I was esplaining to my 13 year old that Playboy used to actually have a reputation for good journalism and interviews (I was looking up a Kurt Vonnegut quote for the Wonkette, and he saw that one of the KV lines came from Playboy).

      I get the impression that the kiddo still finds the entire notion of naked-lady magazines kind of ridiculous, though whether this is due to his not yet passing into full-blown puberty or to what he may know about internet pr0n, I prefer not to know.

  • Hallelujah, I'm a born-again Vegeterianist. Pass the tofurkey.

    By the way, iPhone's autocorrect wanted to replace "tofurkey" with "rigidity." Ceiling Cat is pleased by this show of devotion.

  • Missyb9479

    Whenever I'm in an airport bookstore and I see them selling Playboy and Penthouse behind the counter I always wonder if anyone actually bought them. What type of weirdo reads porn on a flight.

    Well, there you go.

  • vulpes82

    He was just reading for the articles!

  • mavenmaven

    This might be a good TSA avoidance strategy. If you have a bag full of porn, the TSA people might be a tad reluctant to pat you carnally or even touch you.

    • Not_So_Much

      My wife and I decided the next time we fly, our only carry-on will be a roller bag stuffed to the gills with sex toys. Big ones, using D cells and all running at maximum rpm.

      • Missyb9479

        They won't let you bring handcuffs onto an airplane. Even if they are fur lined.

        Um… that's what I heard.

  • chascates

    A member of the GOP would be reading Butt.

  • eastcoastelite

    Jesus H. Christ. I once flew first class from Seattle to NY and the jackass next to me whipped out a Playboy and read it like it was the most natural thing. I kept thinking "Wow…no one is going to believe this." Alas……

    • You mean you don't have in laws that have Playboys in the bathroom next to the cocoa butter lotion?

  • wegot2dobetter

    Didn't they arrest Alvin Greene for doing that same thing? Also!

    • trampndirtdown

      He was black in S. Carolina duh!

  • nounverb911

    Good thing the airlines stopped handing out blankets.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I assume these magazines are gratis on the fondling line?

  • Wadisay

    Personally, I hate it when I have to sit next to a wide-stancer / toe-tapper.

  • ttommyunger

    I'm sorry, Wonketeers, I've seen porn, I've worked with porn, I know porn and PLAYBOY is not porn.

  • Conyers has a reputation around the Motor City for being pretty omnisexual.

  • DeLand_DeLakes

    They still make porn on *paper*?!?!?

  • Playboy? That's almost sweet. If a Republican had been sitting in that seat, it would more probably have been a copy of Inches.

  • Negropolis

    This comes as kind of surprise, because it's always been whispered around Detroit for decades (yeah, he's been in Congress that long) that he's gay. His marriage to the hot mess that is Monica "Bribe Me" Conyers was supposed to put that too rest.

  • Wow. I won't even bring last month's Wired on a plane.

  • mrbubb

    Back in Washington, Conyers introduced HR 6969, "in which this body declares itself resolved to be long, strong, and down to get the friction on."

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