- America’s hipsters will soon have a new ironic, chemically aged piss-beer to drink, but only if the bravest beer baron in America successfully sues the federal government for his first amendment right to plaster the American flag all over his fermented garbage. [NewsOK]
- Uh oh, some Jihadists issued a fatwa against McDonald’s. Where will K-Lo get her anal stuffing now? [IPT]
- NBC has the audaciousness to award the Cordoba Victory Mosque prophet their coveted “Person Of The Year” award, on Twitter. [Atlas Shrugs]
-
The only reason a rich person would ever be a liberal is because they love to see the underclasses suffer, unlike rich conservatives, who only hate taxes because of their compassionate concern for the welfare of the poor. [The Hill]
- Karl Marx’s personal field of study, sociology, is secretly teaching our impressionable undergraduate students to treat circus freaks like actual human beings. [Townhall]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS
November 24, 2010
{ 78 comments }
Why does Sessions hate Real 'Mur'ca? Living in Los Angeles… Poseur.
The Oklahoma flag beer guy says he wants to "put god in every bar in this country". As a sometimes bar-goer, I say keep that creepy guy out; and anyway he should then not be selling beer, but red whine that some guy in a robe has said a few magic words over.
Who would Jesus get fucked up with?
12 dudes and a whore?
I think I saw that on the Internets.
He's in the beer biz, but never bothered to check out regulations on labeling of alcoholic beverages? Or the fact that each label design has to be signed off and approved by the regulators?
As someone who used to be be in the beer biz, I can only surmise that this guy is a fucking idiot who assumes the rules apply to everyone but him. .
“I’m losing money, that’s why I’m suing,” he said. “I’m going to spend every nickel I got on this deal.”
Oh good. I hope you do, asshole.
Lake Crescent is really, really deep. Maybe you could invite him out for a canoe ride?
The water is also extremely pure. I'd rather deep-six him somewhere they won't notice the oil slick so much.
"Every" nickel is probably both of them – that's why he needs all this free PR.
"who assumes the rules apply to everyone but him."
-that's how you know he's a Republican.
From the beer article: “The Supreme Court wrote clearly on these things,” [attorney for the beer company Robert] Lehrman said. “It’s not OK to suppress speech. Don should have a chance to go out there and make a fool of himself in the marketplace.”
Emphasis is mine. See, this is why lawyers are so expensive. They can find the best ways to exploit our money, our interests, and — most importantly — our dignity and integrity.
:“I want to put God in every bar in the country. God is already in the churches. Why not the bars?”
What Would Jesus Drink?
Jesus would drink HemoLager – the beer made with real human blood!
Four Loko.
This makes perfect sense to me. Then again, I only partake of hookers with Pledge of Allegiance tramp-stamps and Ol' Gloryhole tattoos. God is Great.
Manischewitz!
MD20/20 for the wino who keeps a kosher gutter.
If this has the effect of introducing at least a tinge of self-consciousness into our proud nation's karaoke bars, then I'm all for it.
Red wine.
The only reason a rich person would ever be a liberal is because they love to see the underclasses suffer, unlike rich conservatives who only hate taxes because of their compassionate concern for the welfare of the poor.
My head just exploded. Thanks, dicks.
War=Peace
Love=Hate
Conservacrooks mostly want the underclass to suffer, to fight for their garbage. Look at how things go in any 3rd world country.
“I’m losing money, that’s why I’m suing,” he said. “I’m going to spend every nickel I got on this deal.”
Yeah…I know that when I'm hemorrhaging money, I plan to hemorrhage more…for FREEDOM!
I thought the same thing: he's broke, but damned if he isn't going to spend every last penny on a ridiculous lawsuit for his crappy beer.
Small business is obviously the backbone of our fucking economy.
Obviously, this man needs more tax cuts!
I support the fatwa. Them fuckers left the french fries out of my drive-through order again.
It's nice the see The Hill has such high journalistic standards to employ propagandist Armstrong Williams.
Dear me…Geller is quite the shrill cunt isn't she?
Shouldn't noted hack and Token Negro™ Armstrong Williams be asking himself why an African-American would be a Republican?
For the same reasons a chicken would vote for Col. Sanders.
If only my dealer would place my weed in an American Flag baggie, no one would ever question it.
Don't give Willow any ideaz.
I had two hits of the American flag acid once. Stuff wasn't that good; took both of them to get off.
From the "freakish" Town Hall article:
and this:
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. There's nothing worse than an anti-intellectual, self-loathing closeted gay man pontificating about the intellectual merits of college and university courses. I suspect Mr. Adams graduated from American Jesus F150 Kick-Ass USA Crying Eagle 9/11 University where they don't teach nuthin' but Jeebus, Gawd, and the Murkin Flag.
Not only did you sum up my feelings nicely, "American Jesus F150 Kick-Ass USA Crying Eagle 9/11 University" deserves a point all on its own.
Ford just *HAS* to sell some of those: Imagine the lines at the dealerships in Georgia and the Carolinas. "Come on down to BillyBob McGraws' for your very own American Jesus F150 Kick Ass USA Crying Eagle 9/11 edition and I'll throw in an autographed portrait of Jesus riding a dinosaur with his AK-47!"
Oh yeah, Mike S. Adams. That guy pretty much writes the same article every day. Well, there's that article and the one in which he deals with his unresolved issues with women by saying America's Campuses are infested with Feminazis. He comes from the David Horowitz school of Conservative moles in Academia. I.e. a fraud.
Not that academia isn't rife with people who get ahead by just "playing the game", but somehow these clowns' shtick is a bit more offensive.
Given how they are in league with the Communist Chinese who went around encouraging students to murder their teachers, yeah, I'd say they're a "bit more offensive."
Self-loathing gay conservative & pontificating on "culture" and "learning"…
You mean like Allen Bloom? the only queer the right wing publicly draws to its heaving, hairy bosom?
Most academics are boringly conventional. Conservative personalities, no matter how they vote.
The urge to troll is strong today. Must. Resist.
But Benjamin is doing such a bang-up job with these rumor mills!
What better way to honor the Lord and country than to put them on a can that will be thrown on the side of the road or used as an ashtray.
FREEDOM BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coming soon Jesus-Freedom TP, with inspirational daily messages on each sheet!!
You should save your special cans for that special sauce you generate while chewing tobacco …
Surely this violates the flag desecration laws? Speaking of which, the first package of condoms I bought in China were the Sino-US Friendship brand, "your best love friend,"with the Stars and Stripes prominently displayed.
It's kinda neat that NEWSOK, the source for the Pledge on the beer cans story, calls itself "The State's Most Trusted News." Not "news source," or "news outlet," just NEWS. All the others are lying, and can't be trusted to report facts accurately. Which may explain a lot about the people Oklahoma sends to the Senate.
First thing I thought of when I heard about this, was all the outrage over people putting the American Flag on their clothing and pressing for a Constitutional Amendment banning the burning of the flag. I guess only certain people can express their First Amendment Rights.
What this will mean for me is no more tossing them out the window of the car or slipping into a neighbor's garbage can. No sir, to get rid of these future patriotic beer cans is to dispose of them in a dignified way, preferably by burning. Failing that, they should be turned over to your local American Legion Post for disposal.
Fuck Don Sessions and the energy drink he rode in on. Asswipe.
as someone who makes my living as an actual freak in an actual freakshow, I can tell you with authority that there is no one freakier than a right-wing pundit.
True, but religious TV and US Short-wave broadcasters give them a lot of competition!
I concur. We just have twisted bodies. Right wing pundits have twisted souls.
–Ms Quasimodo
That Hill article makes me want to punch Armstrong Willimas in the dick.
Yay! I'm flying to Oklahoma tomorrow! Between drinking un-regulated Christian Patriotic Freedom Beer, and Sarah Palin holding a book-signing at a Christian bookstore about 1 mile away from my parents' home on Friday, my holiday weekend is finally looking UP!!!
Sarah was in Dublin, OH a while ago. Seemed like an odd place for her to go, but that was back when the country was seemed like it might be reconsidering its choice to repeatedly vote for its own destruction.
It's on the interstate, outside of Columbus, O. Probably a convenient place to stop, bloviate, take a leak, eat a burger. Easier than driving into downtown Columbus.
Oh yeah. Dublin cops are notorious for sitting their fat asses on I-270 and nailing anyone who goes even 66 mph. Never mind that Dublin as a physical city isn't really on the freeway itself, but rather a quirk of Ohio incorporation law allows these podunk cops to troll for speeders to fatten the village coffers.
You don't need God on the can. God is in the can.
“I’m a Christian,” Sessions said. “I want to put God in every bar in the country. God is already in the churches. Why not the bars?”
God has been in the bars from the beginning, just go to any bar on an average night and you'll hear: "Jesus Christ, leave me alone!" "God Almighty, did you just puke on me?" "Lord , what the @#$% did you put in this drink"?
And take off your nascar cap and salute, ya commie!
♪♫ Oklahoma, where Sarah Palin’s word salads do ordain
That Godly cans of beer, sure are dear
With the farts comin’ right behind the drain
Oklahoma, ev’ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit and listen to Rush and Beck there bitchin’
While we spin our truk nutz to the sky ♫♪
Because, god forbid I should make it through the holiday without some dumb ass okie proving what a dipshit he is.
Oklahoma, represent!
And we're just coming into the War on Xmas season!
This is an attempt to make the annoying things we're going to hear tomorrow seem reasonable by comparison, isn't it?
Don't forget to stand and put your hand over your heart while you drink it, either.
I assume K-Lo will go back to getting her anal stuffing from Jonah Goldberg.
Don't you suppose it would be a *small* stuffing?
Doesn't Budweiser already do this?
This is the famous Budweiser beer. We know of no other brand produced by any other brewer which costs so much to brew and age. Our exclusive Beechwood Aging produces a taste, a smoothness, and a drinkability you find in no other beer at any price.
That's the Pledge of Allegiance, right? That's what I've been reciting.
Fuck all of you all. I support Don Sessions at http://www.gurukalehuru.com
So this huckster wants to put God in every bar in America? I'll be the first one to say his crappy beer isn't going to do the trick.
First of all, Mr. Sessions should be worried about making sure God is in every church where He belongs. It is my strongly held personal opinion there are far too many religious establishments that have forgotten that part (Westboro Baptist,you can start!) – the whole thing about don't judge Jesus by "Christians." Particularly those who perceive a ready buck in yelling to the world they are true Christians. We have enough of those frauds in politics to last a lifetime.
Then it would be a whole lot quicker to accomplish his goal by putting a bar in every church.
"a fucking idiot who assumes the rules apply to everyone but him."
A typical libertarian, in other words!
So, is the beer any good?
Greer does book reviews for Wonkette; someone needs to do drink reviews.
Ken – let's work something out here.
Do you get Beer Lao in DC? Best beer in Asia!
Too late. God is already in the bar and he is very, very drunk.
Think of the Country Dick Montana song, "Are You Drinking With Me, Jesus?" !
re: Professor Laurie Essig. Freak in the head, freak in the bed. I'm just sayin'
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