Sarah Palin's Presidential Aspirations Shattered by Bristol's Lousy Dancing
Bristol Palin did not triumph in the championship round of So You Think You Can Dance? That's Funny You Would Think That last night. America's most favorite Single Mama Grizzly lost to a lady named Jennifer Grey, who apparently danced her pants off even though she had a "ruptured disc." (Bristol Palin lost to a cripple!) Is Baby Jesus using the rise and fall of this dancing embarrassment as some sort of ominous literary device, to warn Sarah Palin that she will never become president and that her teevee ratings will continue to plummet into the fiery depths of Hell? We are cautiously optimistic. Anyway, now Bristol can sign-up for The Biggest Loser . ("Bristol Palin lost at Dancing on teevee" isn't actually a real "news story," in the traditional sense of the word. Because, you know, no "nip slip.") Why aren't you baking cornbread with your mom right now? [ NYT ]
Republican lawmakers who said nasty things about government-run health care during the midterm elections are now being politely asked to remove themselves from the special government-run health care plan for congresspeople. Consistency is a stupid thing. [ The Hill ]
The United States is sending an aircraft carrier to South Korea, to start preparing for the impending Second Korean War. [ Fox News ]
There's a difference between hating Sarah Palin and thinking she should not be President of the United States of America. One is a petty, emotional response to an irritating woman most people have never met. The other is patriotism.
i am not making cornbread with my mom right now because my mom broke her arm in two places.
i wish i was making that up.