• May 26, 2012

K-Lo’s Hamburger-Stuffed Turkey Dumped On Floor For Cats To Eat

by Ken Layne  


So what happens if you actually make K-Lo’s super-gross anus-burger Turkey recipe? This, apparently.

BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? And why did we find it by searching for “Obama Turkey Pardon,” answer that?

{ 65 comments }

user-of-owls November 23, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Let it go, Barry. Just accept the fact that when Bollywood calls the White House, it won't be for you.

Litlebritdifrnt November 23, 2010 at 6:51 pm

The ironing board in the dining room is a nice touch, I am sure FLOTUS makes sure Barry does his shirts all nice and stuff.

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Those jazz hands have never touched an iron. Well, maybe a 9 iron.

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Sweet baby jar fetus!

I made the mistake of watching that kitty pr0n with my cats in the room!

PublicLuxury November 23, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Barry's moves a little better since he came back from India. He must have went over there to take some dance lessons to get his cool on. FLOTUS should put that table cloth on the table not on the back of a chair. Yeesh, you'd a thought a FLOTUS would know that.

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 6:59 pm

America has too many cats, anyway. Is that Nortec Collective? God, I hope not.

fuflans November 23, 2010 at 8:29 pm

too many morans. also.

zhubajie November 24, 2010 at 7:20 am

Next year, stuff the turkey with a dead cat? With a dead rat inside it?

Oblios_Cap November 24, 2010 at 8:16 am

Turcatat?

horsedreamer_1 November 24, 2010 at 2:18 pm

I have yet to go to a donkey show, but I assume Nor-tec is the in-house soundtrack.

(I actually really do enjoy the first Tijuana Sessions disc.)

elfgoldsackring November 23, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Ew! Someone (Jonah?) certainly made sure that bird's, um, cavity, was gaping wide enough to get their whole sausage-fingered ham-fist into.

Beowoof November 23, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Ken where did you find this video, the RNC web site?

zhubajie November 24, 2010 at 7:21 am

RNC Porn site!

HistoriCat November 24, 2010 at 8:37 am

You have to be a top-tier donor to get into that site.

EdFlintstone November 23, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Thank god, I was worried you were going to show us K-Lo's pussy.

Rotundo_ November 23, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Even Wonkette has humane standards. Even if J-Dough posted a tryst in livid (vs. living) color, Ken and the gang would merely link with ample warning. They don't want to scar us permanently unless we want to be.

Not_So_Much November 23, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Whoa! Hey! You just killed thanksgiving — I don't see myself eating again for a month or two after that. Teh pron may also be dead to me too. Also.

Radiotherapy November 23, 2010 at 7:06 pm

At least the cats aren't brainwashed family member wingtards spouting stuff like "free markets" and "liberals are stupid" and "OTP Obama" and "Palin", etc.

weejee November 23, 2010 at 7:18 pm

No cats are egalitarian, and they will ignore any and all for food.

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Liibertarians, really. And they're pro-hunting. If they could shoot sparrows with guns, they would.

weejee November 23, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Libertarian is a better fit. We had a hard core ratter who would bring home treats for us, sometimes not quite passed so my wife or I could learn how to properly dispatch them and have some fun. This is close to downtown in C'Addle, so fairly urban, but she'd even go out to show the raccoons what for.

lumpenprole November 23, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Except for a few special ones, they're apolitical mecenaries.

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Neilist’s cats are probably named Blackwater and Xe.

wondering where i am November 23, 2010 at 7:09 pm

How come that owl creature got all mad at me when I posted my fake Obama rap music video? So you guys DO have a sense of humor.

user-of-owls November 23, 2010 at 7:26 pm

No doubt your shriveled pee score is solely the result of an "owl creature" who just doesn't get your unique sense of humor. Maybe you could audition as a "humor" blogger at WaPo.

fuflans November 23, 2010 at 8:30 pm

at a guess because you weren't funny?

Oblios_Cap November 24, 2010 at 8:18 am

Because "TeaTards" and "sense of humor" are mutally exclusive?

elfgoldsackring November 23, 2010 at 7:13 pm

That is the creepiest fuckin' user name ever. Well done you!

PocketsTheClown November 23, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Finally somebody appreciates my work. Warm bit-o-honey for everyone!

BerkeleyBear November 23, 2010 at 7:15 pm

To qoute the all high Alton Brown – Stuffing is Evil! And that video proves it.

weejee November 23, 2010 at 7:16 pm

With K-Lo & the TSA there is far more stuffing going on this Thanksgiving than there are roasted turkey anuses. OBL said he was going to make us stuff it, and sweet baby fetus jar we has, er we are, or we whatever, also, too.

nice line Crank_Tango and best Holiday wishes to all from the frozen slopes of Mt. C'Addle.

slappypaddy November 23, 2010 at 7:17 pm

i can't believe i watched the whole thing.

Doglessliberal November 24, 2010 at 3:18 pm

I kept waiting for the cats to attack and rip the throat out of the cook or something.

slappypaddy November 24, 2010 at 3:43 pm

one can always hope…

mrblifil November 23, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Every time Teh Wonkett posts a video and I watch it, a little piece of my soul dies forever.

Jukesgrrl November 23, 2010 at 8:02 pm

I read the comments before I dare start the video and 90% of the time y'all talk me out of it. My teabagger depression has left me with so few working braincells, I hate to waste them on animal videos, and that includes the Palins.

Oblios_Cap November 24, 2010 at 8:19 am

Soon you'll have less than Cheney, you poor fucker.

snoopyfan2010 November 23, 2010 at 7:28 pm

No, Discosean, I will not subscribe.

KathrynSane November 23, 2010 at 7:33 pm

I'm starting to think that we're just not ready for the internet. Just because you can put something on YouTube doesn't mean you should, America!

Serolf_Divad November 23, 2010 at 7:58 pm

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And Kathryn Jean Lopez comes out to feed you her Whitecastle stuffed turkey
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier

Neilist November 23, 2010 at 8:28 pm

:::Sniff of distain:::

A siamese cat would have thrown that tasteless turkey against the wall; clawed the living shit out of the cook; stolen his car keys; and driven off with his girlfriend.

Trust me on this one, okay? I've been owed by a couple of those Slant-Eyed, Black-faced, Liberal Commie Pink SKUM little oriental bastards.

P.S. Sorry about the black-faced comment, Negropolis. Nothing personal.

PocketsTheClown November 23, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Oh god don't make me click again

Mort_Sinclair November 23, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Jesus. H. Christ. That's 6:37 of my middle-aged life that is lost for fucking ever. Mr. Layne, you have neither shame nor pity. A cat video leading into a fake Obama video. Even this atheist is ready to welcome the fucking rapture at this rate.

Neilist November 23, 2010 at 8:57 pm

But it's really GOOD distain!

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 10:14 pm

well save me a bump if you can.

salt_bagel November 23, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Alternate headline: "Graphic video shows why everyone would be vegetarian if slaughterhouses had glass walls."

Blendergoathead November 23, 2010 at 10:41 pm

The heavily selective editing of that cat video would make even Brietbart cringe.

Fail.

jim89048 November 23, 2010 at 11:50 pm

I had a cat that drew fucking blood the first few times I offered him Pounce. PounceMeth–it's a helluva drug.

chascates November 24, 2010 at 1:29 am

Eventually one of those Christian professionally-outraged people will point out how feminine our nation has become by pardoning turkeys instead of chopping their heads off and gnawing on the sweet, tasty goo that comes flying out.

MiniMencken November 24, 2010 at 2:39 am

My dogs are sickened by this vile video. You will pay for this outrage!

aisai November 24, 2010 at 4:25 am

If you want you could try a snort of derision

catchtheflava November 24, 2010 at 8:29 am

Orange tabbies have better personalities than some people I've met (and some orange people that I haven't). I'd actually vote for one for elected office – probably statewide, though, I wouldn't want some goddamn inexperienced orange cat telling me what to do with my life on a national level.

Doglessliberal November 24, 2010 at 3:16 pm

I like how they have intimidated the Siamese to the extent that he will not take any food off the plate.

DashboardBuddha November 24, 2010 at 9:06 am

I like cats. In fact, I like cats better than people. (Likes dogs too. Plus dolphins…and oh yeah, elephants rock. Lions and tigers are cool too, but I prefer to admire them from a safe distance.) Hyenas are nasty though…plus they remind me of teabaggers.

lolcas November 24, 2010 at 11:25 am

Those cats will be listening to the same song when they eat their sad, lonely person after she dies.

Doglessliberal November 24, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I am not kidding: my cat came racing (and he is a major load, so "racing" is relative) into the room when the cat video started. Maybe this is cat-luring music?

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi November 24, 2010 at 7:20 pm

kitty mittens ~
out of their minds
for home cooking

skaboomizzy November 25, 2010 at 3:09 am

That second video was the most pointless thing ever. My normally comatose cat managed to flatten himself out even more and begin snoring while that played.

lumpenprole November 23, 2010 at 8:12 pm

That's an awful thought: well armed cats. Those won't be clean kills.

Neilist November 23, 2010 at 8:32 pm

More like "She Who Must Be Obeyed."

And Blackwater and Xe are a bit too gay for me. Must be the Navy tie-in.

"In the Navyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . . . "

Gunner Asch November 23, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Ours are Sam 'n Ella

sarjo November 23, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Four cats, eh? "Y," "M," "C," and "A."

V572625694 November 24, 2010 at 12:30 am

Yes, that sounds like cats I've known.

zhubajie November 24, 2010 at 7:23 am

Visit the Harbin Tiger Park, sometime. Pay a little extra and you can watch them be fed live cows and chickens.

V572625694 November 24, 2010 at 12:29 am

"Wet work," as they say in the movies.

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