THE DEATH OF CHRISTIAN CONSERVATISM  1:56 pm November 23, 2010

Christmas-Hating Republican Party Selling ‘Happy Holidays’ Ornaments

by Jack Stuef

That does not help us delude ourselves into believing our religion is special and different!Conservatives are constantly telling us we are not allowed to wish people “Happy Holidays,” even if we don’t know their religion, and even if we are talking to freedom-loving Israeli settlers, because everyone everywhere should celebrate Jesus’ birfday. But apparently the Republican Party hates the baby messiah and his righteous Black Friday Taiwanese Blu-Ray players, because they are selling a “Limited Edition 2010 RNC Holiday Ornament” in their online store. WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HANG THAT, RNC, ON A “HOLIDAY” TREE? Are we supposed to attach it to a shrine to Malcolm X/Michael Steele on “Kwanzaa”? Heathens!

Who tricked our Chinese factory-children Magi into making such a disgusting thing? This sounds like a job for the American Family Association!

Randy Sharp, director-special projects at the AFA, said that in the past five years the group has seen the percentage of retailers recognizing Christmas in their advertising rise from 20 percent to 80 percent. Just eight retailers are left on the group’s list of “Companies Against Christmas.”

Well, perfect! They need a new store to bully out of showing respect for people from diverse backgrounds, and we found one for them. We will not be buying ANYTHING from the GOP store this Christmas until they apologize to the Baby Jesus for offending his Chosen People: White Evangelicals with too much time on their hands.

Also, anyone who has ever voted Republican will now burn in Hell for this. [GOP Store/MSNBC via Wonkette operative "Brian M."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 95 comments }

ttommyunger November 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm

They have a helluva lot more than "time" on their hands. BTW, there is no length Repugs will not go to for the Almighty Dollar. I have no doubt any of them from Michael Steele on down would gladly suck Elephant Dicks at a Dime a herd if times were tough enough.

Negropolis November 23, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. In fact, it's the very best way to look at it.

You get a well-deserved point for that unfortunate but wholly appropriate visual.

ttommyunger November 24, 2010 at 10:23 am

Then my work here is done.

binarian November 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Oh, nice. What's this for? Festivus? Some bland, politically correct, non-Christian celebration? Shame on you Michael Steele.

Maman November 23, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Dang! They just lost their main group of folks who would buy this thing by refusing to allow unemployment insurance for the poors. Bad timing boys.

lochnessmonster November 23, 2010 at 4:59 pm

No they'll just eat less cat food for a week..

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm

It should be obvious by now that this is Obama's and Pelosi's fault, and that it's good news for John McCain.

Also, today we are all Limited Edition 2010 RNC Holiday Ornaments.

KochFembot November 23, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Here come the Christmas Conservatives!

elviouslyqueer November 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Worse still, that ornament looks suspiciously like a feminized Medal of Honor. I expect an outraged column from Bryan Fischer pronto.

Native_of_SL_UT November 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I also count at least 12 crescents on the damn thing.

Not_So_Much November 23, 2010 at 2:48 pm

War on Jeebus Christmas! I presume Fischer's outrage will come via a weepy live spot on O'reilly?

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 2:09 pm

You realize, of course, that this plays right into Bill O'Reilly's hands.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 23, 2010 at 2:11 pm
bagofmice November 23, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Like a loofah? Fallafel? What muslin treachery is this!?!?

johnnyzhivago November 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Too bad Nobama can't get behind Christmas instead of forcing everyone to worship his Kwanza/Ramadan/Festivus Shrub he's building outside the White House.

SayItWithWookies November 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Oh, how inclusive — they've got little hidden symbols for everybody. The six blue arches are the points of a mogen david; then there are the cute five-pointed (?!) snowflakes pointed towards the center of the ornament, which is a clear reference to the upside-down pentagram for the Satanists; the lengths of red bunting with the white flowers combine to form stars-and-crescents for our Muslim friends; the oak leaves have sprouted holly berries for all the Druids, and then there's the RNC elephant, which symbolizes the pedophiles. Well done, Michael Steele!

ShaveTheWhales November 23, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Those do look rather crescent-y, don't they? Perhaps Google should put this in their logo.

problemwithcaring November 23, 2010 at 3:51 pm

So we should except every blog that made a big deal about that Google "crescent" to be up in arms over this!

johnnyzhivago November 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm

By the way, that's a smart looking ornament – definitely the thing for the Republican who already has everything else

And I mean EVERYTHING else.

hagajim November 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm

WTF!?!!? Where is Papa Bear O'Reilly screaming about the Republican War on Christmas when you need him!

GOPCrusher November 23, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Agreed. Who would have thought the Republiklans would fire the first shot in the 2010 War on Xmas.

ManchuCandidate November 23, 2010 at 2:14 pm

CAC?

Nice try, you self loathing deep in the closet Xtian gays of the AFA.

Gratuitous World November 23, 2010 at 2:14 pm

I think i can connect the blue dots for a 6 point-star. Thanks, Eric Cantor! Snappy Snolidays!

Mahousu November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

The ornament looks like the Capitol dome surrounded by six deformed penises.

In other words, a typical Republican committee meeting. I applaud the RNC for their realism.

Eve8Apples November 23, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I thought the blue arches represented Republican blue balls.

Pragmatist2 November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Republicans know that life is about tough choices and when forced to choose between Christian values and Jewish donors, they asked "WWND"?
That is, "What would Nixon do?"
Their Dick has never failed them.

nounverb911 November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Doesn't Jeebus celebrate Hanukkah? Eight nights, more gifts.

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Oh, boy, another fucking dreidel!!

SorosBot November 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Thanks, Hanukkah Harry!

freakishlywrong November 23, 2010 at 2:17 pm

will brighten the holidays and celebrate the historic gains in Congress.

If by "historic" you mean 35% of The American People™ whom are old, white and scooter-bound.

SorosBot November 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

For Christmas, the GOP has given the American people a cratered economy and gruel, each other luxury cars, and for corporate executives, blowjobs.

bumfug November 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

It's beginning to feel alot like whatever.

Clancy_Pants November 23, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Daily News headline tomorrow:

RNC to Jesus: Drop Dead

horsedreamer_1 November 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Pilate was a Republican? Then what was with that clemency programme, freeing either Barabas or Jesus (but not both)?

northernbassist November 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm

minor edit:

RNC to Jesus: Drop Dead, again.

Dashboard_Jesus November 23, 2010 at 7:22 pm

no silly, that's on the HAPPY EASTER card!

Mindblank November 23, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Well, he *was* dead, but it didn't take. Theoretically.

sherriawilson November 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Sure hope the super rich republicans get enough of these beauties to cover their holiday trees this year, just in case they are forced to pay taxes on their earnings after the first $250k next year…

OneYieldRegular November 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Are you sure that's not an IUD?

Guppy06 November 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I'm more concerned about the Canadian maple leaves around the edge.

GeorgiaBurning November 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Count how many stars…isn't that the number of verses in the Koran???? (shameless rumor mongering!)

PsycWench November 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Republicans act in ways that are counter to their oft-spouted beliefs as soon as there's money to be made? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.

edgydrifter November 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Ken Stabler Jesus is going to be sooooo pissed.

magic_titty November 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm

"Just eight [ ] are left on the group’s list of “Companies Against Christmas.”

Those companies in question:

Hebrew National Kosher Foods, Inc.
Miramax
Ben & Jerry's
Calvin Klein
Ralph Lauren
Hershey
Mount Sinai Medical Center
Katz Delicatessen

Preferred Customer November 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm

I am really surprised that Manischewitz caved.

DemmeFatale November 23, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Send a Salami to your boy in the Army!

horsedreamer_1 November 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Ornamental retardation.

GeorgiaBurning November 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Who do they hire to peel the "Made in China" stickers off their crap?

kenlayisalive November 23, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Illegal Mexicans.

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Didn't Elvis have a huge collection of sheriff badges just like this one?

Jukesgrrl November 23, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Yes. Lisa Marie is saving them to auction at Christie's once her mother gives all their money to the Scientologists.

Bluestatelibel November 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm

So when can we expect Bill O'Reilly to be outraged by the GOP shilling secular "holiday" ornaments? Oh right, never.

SnarkoMarx November 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Take off! You steer this thing!

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Thank you. A million pee points to you for getting that!

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Take off, you hosers.

SnarkoMarx November 23, 2010 at 5:01 pm

I've probably watched that movie about fifty times over the years. I even had a dog named "Hosehead"!

SudsMcKenzie November 23, 2010 at 2:34 pm

I'm going to hold off for the Boehner swinging ashtray X mas tree ornament. It's practical, and it will keep Lawyers busy in the new year.

kenlayisalive November 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Shouldn't a hat tip to Chris Christie be an image of a deep fried turkey stuffed with Mickey D's cheeseburgers?

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Can someone who doesn't care about losing pee points (I don't really know how they work but I don't ever post to conservatives, just in case Ken has Riley cruising those sites for wonkeratti to punish for being secret conservtards) please send this to that guy at AFA? And demand a reply?

el_donaldo November 23, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Hahaha. It's not yet Thanksgiving, and already Christmas is taking damage in the war against it. Collateral damage at that!

jim89048 November 23, 2010 at 6:33 pm

More like friendly fire, amirite?

genxr November 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm

The ornament itself is nice, but missing the lesbian bondage girls.

horsedreamer_1 November 23, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Sue4466 November 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Huh. So, the same folks who routinely gay bash while having lots of gay sex are also hypocrites in the War on Christmas ™ too. Could not have seen that one coming, no siree.

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

OT for this, but spot on for your comment. I was watching Book TV on CSPAN (yes, I know, I'm lame but I was cooking and couldn't follow a plot driven show and . . .I'm lame) and a guy who just wrote a book that looked pretty interesting book about the history of the constitution, or something, that I might buy if I could remember the author or the book, but whatever: A guy in the audience asked some rambling, bizarrie question about the Capital and the Masons and the author just kind of dealt with him like a gnat with sub-intelligence.

The end. Now back to cleaning the house for the first time in a year–we were redoing everything and had no real floors so don't give me shit.

Eve8Apples November 23, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I bow to our new secular satanic overlords.

If you hang two of those things upside down, side by side on the back of your pick-up truck, they kinda look like a pair of holiday TruckNutz.

OzoneTom November 23, 2010 at 2:47 pm

As if we needed any more evidence that the "Conservative" GOP is made up of main-stream centrists at the beck and call of Satan/Jewery.

weejee November 23, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Is it a Repug IUD?

mereoblivion November 23, 2010 at 2:54 pm

And they don't even show us how to stuff the monkey-anus burgers up the elephant's ass?

vulpes82 November 23, 2010 at 3:07 pm

I always love this one (incredibly creepy) marionette 'Twas The Night Before Christmas/The Nativity show PBS shows in December that was made in the 1950s by Bell Telephone which ends with "Season's Greetings and Holiday Cheer." Who knew Bell Telephone was such a bunch of commie un-Americans all the way back then in "The Golden Age"?

user-of-owls November 23, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Just for once I'd like to see a body-mangling stampede coming out of one of our slimy mega-churches instead of piling up more corpses in a place that doesn't need them, like say Cambodia.

x111e7thst November 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Just another Happy Water Festival

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 3:58 pm

No kidding. Like Nixon and Kissinger didn't do enough to that place.

VinnyThePooh November 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you John Boner's Pledge to America.

x111e7thst November 23, 2010 at 3:25 pm

The very thing to hang on my Festivus pole. Thanks RNC

slappypaddy November 23, 2010 at 3:25 pm

nice manger you got there, yeshua.

Trinket November 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Next it'll be Season's Greetings, you mark my words!

WarAndGee November 23, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Trucknutz Inc. has never been on the "War on Christmas" list.

Added to our inventory for 2010 is the "Truck Nutz Roasting On An Open Fire" limited edition Christmas ornament.

Buy it. For Christ's sake.

GOPCrusher November 23, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Isn't that the amulet that Indiana Jones put on top of the staff to determine where the Ark Of The Covenant was hidden?

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 3:55 pm

The RNC doesn't need one. They have Bible Spice for that.

problemwithcaring November 23, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Also, a superfluous use of Also. Such as.

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Yeah, right. Because Republithugs are totally opposed to accepting money from corporations. Karl Rove and Buttseks for America: taking it wherever they can get it.

donner_froh November 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm

"Also, anyone who has ever voted Republican will now burn in Hell for this."

Great news–particularly if the other side of the equation also works, that anyone who has never voted Republican gets a free pass to Heaven.

All those years of voting straight Democratic with an occasional ballot for the Communist Party USA might pay off.

Respitetini November 23, 2010 at 5:17 pm

They're trying to compete with the annual White House Christmas ornament, right?

Oh crap – my Huckabee-American inlaws are probably going to send one of these to my SDS mom this year. And no, I only wish I were kidding…

comrad_darkness November 23, 2010 at 7:09 pm

My cards this year are just going to say: "May the Solstice bring more sunshine to your life." Because I can't go wrong with that.

Mindblank November 23, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Needs more teabags. With tea, even.

JackObin November 23, 2010 at 9:11 pm

I guess this should be called a "Police Action" on Christmas. I'm sure the soldiers at Fox News will be all over this like white on rice.

Negropolis November 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Surely, this is good news for John McCain.

The American Family Association, eh? Maybe they should rename the association to more appropriately reflect its membership:

The White, Christian, Hetereosexual (Impotent) American Family Association

chickensmack November 23, 2010 at 11:05 pm

Maybe they're actually being inclusive. After all:

1. Their retail component started putting Christmas shit out after Labor Day
2. The dentists really do love the extra work they get from Halloween
3. "Let the market decide!", as more families enjoy open restaurants on Thanksgiving
4. Black Friday… the Holiday foretold by a Profit!
5. Lewis Hanukkhan, or whatever that no-pork deal is.
6. Michael Steele and his Kwanzaa.
7. Finally, we eventually get to Baby Jesus birthday.

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS" is just making life easier for everyone.

lulzmonger November 24, 2010 at 2:51 am

What a shame … I was really looking forward to their traditional "swastikas, dollar-signs & burning crosses" motif.

Good thing they incuded their website on that thing – most of their supporters couldn't spell "GOP" if you spotted them the "G" & the "P."

mrpuma2u November 24, 2010 at 8:36 am

If you look real close it looks like an anchor baby is being sacrificed on an altar to mammon or moloch or one of those deities they trot out in horror movies, which is where repubs get all their ideas for these rituals. The sacrificial baby was saved from abortion first, so it's Ok.

mrpuma2u November 24, 2010 at 8:31 am

You drive, that way in case she sues for whiplash I'm just a hitchhiker eh?

thefrontpage November 24, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Go Atheists!

Happy Holidays!

Dr_pangloss November 25, 2010 at 8:02 am

Why does the Republican Party hate Jesus, 'Merica and our Troops?

Shar_S November 29, 2010 at 2:48 pm

BARRY SOETORO
Born: Honolulu; Aug. 4, 1961
Nationality Indonesian (NOT AFRICAN OR AMERICAN)
Enrollment: 1/1/1968 1st grade.
Faith: Islam

Hebrew name for lightening is BARAQ
Hebrew name for high places is Bama
And beautiful means Hussein .

Rev 9:11 Destroyer

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: