THANKSGIVING AT THE CORNER  1:30 pm November 20, 2012

K-Lo Posts Her Dream Recipe: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers

by Ken Layne

Happy Anus Burger-Turkey Day!Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of some factory farm turkey.

The recipe is basically this: Tear up 10 entire White Castle hamburgers, pickles and* hamburger rolls and all, and stuff ‘em up a dead turkey’s asshole. Later, eat the entire disgusting thing along with any other food or non-food items in your path. Belch, wipe your hands on your sweatpants, turn on the ‘puter and see if any NRO readers have sent some porn so you can masturbate/cry to it, the end. [The Corner]

* It is noted in the comments that the recipe actually calls for the removal of the pickle slices, because why not be pointlessly picky when you’re grinding up fast-food meat pucks and stuffing them in poultry?

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 261 comments }

SudsMcKenzie November 23, 2010 at 1:24 pm

God Damn its good to have you back Mr. Layne.

CapeClod November 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Seconded.

Doglessliberal November 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Thirded with an anus burger on top.

PocketsTheClown November 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Yiffed.

lulzmonger November 24, 2010 at 2:53 am

Also'd.

PresBeeblebrox November 23, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Muscular Christ approves of Mr. Layne.

actor212 November 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Settle down, boys. It's from 2010

Chet Kincaid_ November 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

As an editor, Layne was lacking in the looking-like-Rita-Hayworth department.

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I've forgotten which 1940s actress he does look like. Can you enlighten?

ifthethunderdontgetya November 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Nonetheless, Ken Layne deserves upfists.
~

Botlrokit November 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Ken is the Wonkette Jesus. Beard and everything, including a book nobody reads anymore.

Too soon?

elviouslyqueer November 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Hands up all those who want to fist Ken Layne (with votes, natch).

Jerri November 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

As noted by others, this is a re-post. However, Ken is returning to his one true love (food blogging) by sharing his Thanksgiving dinner recipes over at The Awl: http://www.theawl.com/2012/11/thanksgiving-fish

Designer_Rants November 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I think I'm ovo-lactating.

ManchuCandidate November 23, 2010 at 1:24 pm

K-Lo Fists White Castle

ph7 November 23, 2010 at 1:26 pm

a.k.a. Fisting by Proxy

Sparky McGruff November 23, 2010 at 1:27 pm

On the bright side: If K-Lo's stomach is full of white castle burgers and turkey, there's less chance that she'll try to eat you.

On the dark side: Don't get in an elevator with K-Lo after she's eaten an entire turkey and 10 white castle burgers. Her increased mass will surely cause the elevator to get stuck between floors, and the confined space will quickly fill with greasy turkey-burger fart gas.

rmjagg November 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm

the turkey-burger fart gas then reduces the other elevator occupants to paralyzed , quivering masses of jello , which is her favorite dessert sometimes …

Billmatic November 23, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Harold and Kumar approve of this.

Clancy_Pants November 23, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Ducksworthy November 23, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Pub Med Central? Your search for porn has taken an odd turn, sir or madam.

Clancy_Pants November 23, 2010 at 2:07 pm

As a child I got all my porn from National Geographic. Moved on to medical textbooks when I discovered the university library.

MsQuasimodo November 24, 2010 at 5:49 pm

Medical porn! Huge bizness. NSFW:
http://www.fetishmovies.com/category/111/FETISH-m

Katydid November 23, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Vis-a-vis the 4-cm. long chicken bone up that guy's ass:

Reviewing the literature it becomes apparent that most foreign bodies in the rectum are inserted via the anal canal, but occasionally some objects become arrested in the ano-rectal region following ingestion, most commonly animal bones associated with ingestion of food.

Don't that beat all. One more thing: I'm going to just pretend you're an MD, Mr. Clancy_Pants. And if you're not, la la la la la, I can't hear you.

PresBeeblebrox November 23, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Jeebus… at least it was "ingested" instead of "inserted."

the_problem_child November 23, 2010 at 1:29 pm

The recipe actually calls for 20 anus burgers, knowing that K-Lo will be hungry while cooking, and only a few will actually make it up the bird's ass.

Spurning Beer November 23, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Hey, you can't spell "Turducken" without T-U-R-D.

sewollef November 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

There were several reasons I became a vegetarian and reading about 'anus burgers' is too uncomfortably close to the truth of meat products and meat production. Yeuk.

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Also too, your more "authentic" "artisanal" sausages. It's a feature, not a bug!

SayItWithWookies November 23, 2010 at 1:30 pm

and stuff ‘em up a dead turkey’s asshole.

Any excuse to exhume William F. Buckley, huh?

Kidneys4Sale November 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Oh, not just any excuse. This is clearly the best one.

elviouslyqueer November 23, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Or Ronald Reagan.

mull_man November 20, 2012 at 5:00 pm

It's Thanksgiving. Let us give thanks that Ronnie is still dead.

ttommyunger November 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Thought it was a reference to St. Ronnie of Hollywood.

DemmeFatale November 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Actually, the burgers are to be stuffed down the throat of the turkey.
So appropriate for Repubs, no?

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Didn't she already do this video with Jonah the Whale, i.e. 2 turkeys, 1 cup?

prommie November 23, 2010 at 1:31 pm

I de-boned a turkey once, and put a whole ham inside it. That was the shit, I kid you not. I was going to say "I boned a turkey," but I knew you filthy fuckers would all be sniggering and getting with the "beavis and butthead" level comments (he said "homeowner, hehe hehe").

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm

turkey fucker. anyway, it's ok ever since palin did that turkey snuff film/interview.

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

You said "snigger". Racist prommie.

prommie November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Its a perfectly cromulent word.

SexySmurf November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Keep fucking that turkey.

PocketsTheClown November 23, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Meanwhile, Catholics are waiting for the pope to clarify.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Oh yeah? I boned a turkey, a goose and a chicken all in one day.
Not de-boned… BONED I tells ya! BONED!!111!

Drink now?

Jukesgrrl November 23, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Sex-ay.

Katydid November 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm

What you do with your dick is your business, amirite?

See, you went to all that trouble for naught. You can't stop us, prommie, not even you.

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Just keep it out of the Pie this year, OK?

GOPCrusher November 23, 2010 at 3:07 pm

You still said “boned”.
HUHUHUHUHUHUH

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Gives a whole new meaning of "Big Boned' to me now….

C_H_L November 23, 2010 at 1:32 pm

It's so wasteful/unAmerican of her not to combine these activities.

CapeClod November 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

What setting on the blender turns fast food burgers into stuffing? Or does this recipe require you to rend the burgers by hand?

prommie November 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

She kegels them.

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Ew.

prommie November 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Gives new meaning to the old line "she chewed me up and spit me out," doesn't it?

HistoriCat November 23, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Not during my lunch time – please.

kenlayisalive November 23, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Is there a good time to think about K-Lo shoving her twat full of McDonald's and then queeffing it out into a decapitated turkey's gut hole?

Maybe, like, moments before a shock therapy treatment but…that's about it.

kenlayisalive November 24, 2010 at 12:23 am

Oh, oops. I meant that as a reply to the Kegels comment. That wasn't what you wanted to hear at all, was it.

So sorry.

HistoriCat November 24, 2010 at 12:48 am

And yet, it was really no worse than the original post.

JadedDissonance November 23, 2010 at 3:34 pm

oh. god.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I think it's the "Shit Conservatives Eat" button.

rmjagg November 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

rend by hand or , like k-lo , by butt cheeks …

m_supercomputer November 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Sounds like the worst porn movie ever.

Wait, wait, I thought of a way to make it worse: also in attendance? Jonah Goldberg.

dr_giraud November 23, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Since they're conjoined twins forged in Satan's bubbliest cauldron, Jonah's presence is assumed.

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 1:34 pm

I'm just glad she doesn't live out west: the thought of "K-Lo" and "In-n-Out Burger" in the same post is quite nausea-inducing.

Oh, fuck, now I've done it.

Kidneys4Sale November 23, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Huh..wha? Jack in the Box, you say?

jim89048 November 23, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Even worse when you consider that every In-n-Out Burger bumpersticker known to exist has been modified to read "In-n-Out Urge". Hey, it's what we do when Trucknutz are out of reach.

freakishlywrong November 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Ugh. And I thought the Double Down was nauseating.

Jerri November 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Bleh! Why not just skip the whole "make this look vaguely like real food " charade and put all that crap in a blender with some lard and corn syrup, serve in funnels (no pesky chewing/lifting utensils/swallowing), and call it a day. You can add construction paper feathers to the funnels if you want to get festive.

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Mmmmm. Now I'm gonna have to go dig out my Bass-o-Matic.

Jerri November 23, 2010 at 1:50 pm

You mean it's not on your kitchen counter at all times?

BaldarTFlagass November 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Once it was decreed by Vatican II that fish was no longer mandatory on Fridays, it was displaced by my Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville Machine.

DashboardBuddha November 23, 2010 at 1:54 pm

That's great bass!

AngryGeometer November 23, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Hey, it's a holiday. Throw some Oxycontin and a few Viagra in there too. I call it Freedom Smoothie.

Beowoof November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Hey get a penis shaped mold and then bake at 350 for an hour and boom, an old fashioned Thanksgiving, amirite.

WordSaladNation November 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm

What does Thanksgiving have to do with anything? That's just K-Lo's typical mid-morning snack.

DahBoner November 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm

I love happy endings!

UW8316154 November 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Don't we all, DB.. don't we all…

XOhioan November 23, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Why does the recipe specify "no pickles?" This is only something a drunk person would do, so why not just jam everything-onion rings, napkins and sporks-right up the turkey ass.

the_problem_child November 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm

I don't want you to drunk-stuff my turkey.

Trinket November 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm

I've never had stuffing with pickles in it, but I can't imagine they would make this any worse. I was despondent that because I'm on the West Coast I can't make this, and then I remembered the frozen White Castle burgers at Costco! Happy Thanksgiving, indeed!

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 1:39 pm

It says the recipe was submitted "by a White Castle family" from Columbus, Ohio. What the fuck is a White Castle "family", fer god sakes? I got the trots from reading that porn.

XOhioan November 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

It usually involves siblings….well, let's just say, to be part of a White Castle family, you have to be your own grandpa.

FNMA November 23, 2010 at 1:46 pm

The Aristocrats?

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 2:05 pm

From the site:

How do you sustain successful growth since 1921?

Being family-run, when others franchise, doesn’t hurt. It helps maintain the trailblazing attitude which made us the first fast-food hamburger chain. The first to sell a million hamburgers. The first to sell a billion hamburgers. And the first to sell frozen fast food.

But that would just be a part of the answer. In truth, our power comes from the undying loyalty of the Cravers across the nation. It is because of them and through them that we go on. The more you crave, the more we serve. And that is why we continue to grow. More on the menu, more locations on the map and more Cravers enjoying both.

White Castle is more than a company. It’s an experience that transcends time, space and sometimes, rational thought. For almost a century our unique approach has made our food the answer to what you crave. And we’re planning on that continuing long past 100 years.

bitchincamaro2 November 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm

TMFI.

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm

I know, but "it's an experience that transcends rational thought" was too greasy-juicy not to share.

kenlayisalive November 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

it's certainly an experience that eliminates the chances for a normal bowel movement, I can tell you that.

lulzmonger November 24, 2010 at 2:59 am

"Our secret ingredient? Heroin."

shelwood46 November 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Weren't the Cravers the evil monsters on Firefly?

ifthethunderdontgetya November 23, 2010 at 8:32 pm

That's the place that just put Boehner protege and bank lobbyist Steve Stivers into Congress and kicked out my Congressperson, Mary Jo Kilroy (signed pledge to protect social security).

I think I'm about through with this place.
~

Dashboard_Jesus November 23, 2010 at 8:43 pm

White Castle family = K-lo's 'loyal' fans (and yer own family don't mind the slider stank!)

Wilcoxyz November 23, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Pat down the turkey before sticking any of this in the cavity, also. Cook for 45 minutes on high in a microwave or 6 years under an airport screener.

Texan_Bulldog November 23, 2010 at 1:42 pm

When does the weeping because no one loves/understands her & then the drunk dialing to Bill Kristol & Jonah Goldberg asking them why they've never invited her over to their places even though she asks them over for dinner every night commence?

Katydid November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

"Hi Jonah, this is K-Lo, I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the minutes and ask you to consider something…"

Aw, fuck it.

Beowoof November 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Thanks that worked in my sick mind and now I will be stuck with the image of K-Lo on a spit with Kristol at one end and Goldberg at the other.

CapeClod November 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm

The last recipe had percocet and whiskey sours, so I assume this one involves meth and Mad Dog.

Doglessliberal November 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

This recipe is truly revolting. If you want meat in your stuffing, great. Why not use REAL ingredients, not processed anuses, sugar, and chemicals?

Rarian Rakista November 25, 2010 at 8:40 pm

As far as I know the only thing that is natural is the meat.
http://www.whitecastle.com/nutrition/ingredients

magic_titty November 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Just imagine the deuce K-Lo drops after Thanksgiving dinner.

You're welcome.

CapeClod November 23, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Bastard!

elviouslyqueer November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

I can't decide whether to giggle hysterically at this, or throw up a lung.

Katydid November 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

You don't show up much, but when you do…watch out!

CapeClod November 23, 2010 at 3:31 pm

I feel like someone just walked into my brain, farted, and walked out again.

SudsMcKenzie November 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm

There is no God

Beetagger November 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm

K-Lo Plop

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Plop, Lock & Drop It!

Mojopo November 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm

No one is going to take a dump for a week after eating that slop. And when they finally do, it's going to be a smeary mess. You just know it.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

I imagine she just sweats it out.

kenlayisalive November 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

She's gonna need one of those heavy duty toilet seats and her wiping stick (ah, the products I've been introduced to by Wonketeers, thanks all!).

Chet Kincaid_ November 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Oh my God, I remember that!!

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 5:17 pm

AFTER? You know this bitch shits her pants in mid-feed, that way they don't have to disconnect the hose from her snout.

Dashboard_Jesus November 23, 2010 at 8:49 pm

fuck, perfectly good wine snorted thru the nose, AGAIN!

mrpuma2u November 24, 2010 at 9:39 am

SO wrong that I laughed and laughed. Well played, sir.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Agreed! Can't stop laughing..

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Dang, I already upfisted that, two years ago.

rmjagg November 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

ohdeargodwhatafuckingnightmare …

Serolf_Divad November 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

So is this how National Review writers try to convince their white trash readership that they're "one of them?" Well, It won't work: they don't have White Castle down South. Lopez should have stuffed her Turkey with Hardees hamburgers instead.

BTW, this, according to Wikipedia, is what Lopez wants you to put in your turkey:

WARNING: DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF YOU HAVE RECENTLY EATEN OR HAD PLANS TO EAT SOMETIME SOON… OR EVER.

Doglessliberal November 23, 2010 at 1:53 pm

I had never actually seen a White Castle burger. I was better off a virgin in that respect. Ugh.

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm

As if you didn't need another reason not to live in the South. Mmm…food-like substance fried over onions and served on stale white bread bun…

elviouslyqueer November 23, 2010 at 2:06 pm

We might not have White Castles, but we're all about Krystals (which all Southerners know should only be eaten at 3am, and preferably following an evening of heavy boozing).

MsQuasimodo November 24, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Having lived both in the south and Chicago, Krystal's is pretty similar to White Castle. Both disgusting.
This has to be the most disgusting posting on wonkette, evah. Carry on, comrades! Also.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 23, 2010 at 2:06 pm

I ate at a White Castle once about 22 years ago.

True story!

Crank_Tango November 23, 2010 at 5:18 pm

too soon!

Beowoof November 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I can remember eating there, but it was with 6 drunk law students. 28 years ago.

HistoriCat November 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Yikes – I would just like to second Serolf_Divad's warning – do not click that link. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take some Pepto-Bismol and lie down for a while.

HistoriCat November 20, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Listen to the wise feline from two years ago!

natoslug November 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

What is that?- tongue? That sure as hell isn't a burger, as a burger should be thicker, greasier and browner. And the fucking onions go on top, dammit!

Dashboard_Jesus November 23, 2010 at 8:53 pm

since when ain't Indiana considered 'down South'? I mean hey, we got the Klan so that counts right?

lulzmonger November 24, 2010 at 3:06 am

WTF? You could trace art with that patty, it's so fucking thin. Unless it's an emo anorexic turkey, ten of those for stuffing are gonna leave a LOT of space inside the victim.

slappypaddy November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

there goes my thanksgiving appetite. thanks, ken.

(i'm planning on making your cranberry business with dried cranberries and irish whiskey. prickly pear fruit, grated peyote, and mescal were my first choices, but i gotta go with what's in the house. i'll let you know how it turns out, unless i'm too drunk, stoned, and stuffed to remember.)

Doglessliberal November 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm

You are going to rehydrate them first? If not, they will dry out and burn fast. You might try soaking them in a half/half mix of orange juice and water until they plump up, then go from there.

The peyote is a nice addition.

slappypaddy November 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

thanks for the tip. i forwarded to the man behind the curtain. since i'm a cat and don't have thumbs, he gets to do the work. i get to lap up drippings, play the cello, and catch some of the game (hail mary passes are my favorites).

EdFlintstone November 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

It's just not Thanksgiving without the monkey bread and white castle.

Doglessliberal November 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

You know, the bad grammar in that sign just bugs the hell out of me.

bagofmice November 23, 2010 at 2:53 pm

I know, right. Even when you slip it some G, it's just wrong.

problemwithcaring November 23, 2010 at 3:40 pm

Gas at $2.49 is kinda irritating too. It's $3.15 right now, and I like to pretend it has always been this price.

Radiotherapy November 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Option #1:
You travel by air and get TSA meat-fingers stuffed in your ass, or they radiate your giblets and enjoy that feast.
Option #2:
Maybe you try to drive to grandma K-Lo's house and sit in traffic for 12 hours on the I-95 corridor. Hemorrhoids and road rage.
Result:
Grandma K-Lo's traditional turkey stuffed with sliders necrophilic food porn.
Imagine the leftovers!!1!
Then you have to return home by the same route.

Mojopo November 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm

It is a gastronomic obscenity and Lopez should be carted off to Thanksgiving Jail.

DashboardBuddha November 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm

K-Lo digs White Castle? natch

Ducksworthy November 23, 2010 at 1:57 pm

She forgot to tell her readers to baste the bird with liposuctioned belly fat. They should all definitely do that, also.

bagofmice November 23, 2010 at 2:54 pm

They're not in to recycling.

Mojopo November 23, 2010 at 1:57 pm

This burger fuckery is one of the most hateful things anyone could do on Thanksgiving. Why not shove some crumbly white frozen dogs turds and saltines up inside the turkey instead? Same thing! Maybe healthier! I mean really – this is an act of aggression against things that are delicious. I would just as soon waste a perfectly good turkey in this manner as I would be likely to take a crap on the check-out conveyor belt at Jewel. Do not make me climb up there!

Dashboard_Jesus November 23, 2010 at 8:57 pm

personally I prefer to stuff my Tofurkey with cranberries and carrots, but then I'm a vegan so that ACTUALLY tastes good to me! :)

V572625694 November 23, 2010 at 1:59 pm

You know what really would make this recipe a lot more appealing? If you drank a couple of Martinis (gin:vermouth::6:1, stir over ice, pour out, add olive) before and while preparing it, and then afterward had a couple of nice bottles of a 2005 Barolo. And then skipped the belly-bomber-stuffed-turkey part all together because it's disgusting, you shouldn't even give it to the homeless Poors, just take it out to the dumpster now because you don't want the dog to get in the trash, although she probably knows better.

Mojopo November 23, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Will grimey faced slobs eat this hellish nightmare while watching DWTS over and over again? It could happen, and I won't stand for it!

qwerty42 November 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

The replies to that post: "disgusting", "I just threw up" …

Monsieur_Grumpe November 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm

I submitted this to the comments.

A vomit stuffed turkey would be far more appetizing than White Castle gristle burgers crammed into a dead gobbler’s orifice. Can’t wait for the NRO cookbook!

MiniMencken November 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Being a suck-egg-dog, do-good, nigger-lovin' liberal, my Thanksgiving will consist of things the Englishers actually had to eat in the early Seventeenth Century in Massachusetts, according to archeologists. That would include lots of sturgeon, lobster and oysters. Washed down with plenty of barley wine.

jim89048 November 23, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Whoa, guess who's coming to dinner?

mrpuma2u November 24, 2010 at 9:57 am

No cod? Why do you hate cod fisherman, and therefore uhMEHRikka?

Ya know in old (1600's ish) New England there were laws on the books about how much lobster you could feed your indentured servants. It was looked on as poor people's food more fit for sloppin' the hogs back then, much as modern folks would look on eating 'possums or woodchucks or the like. It's a fact in the library of Congress. You can learn more about food nerdery in your local library. If the library of Congress is your local library, you probably don't even go that much.

MiniMencken November 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm

My good fellow, cod is for Papists! But, yes, I love the good old Library of Congress. Spent many a happy hour there, looking up Victorian erotica and so forth. I also know about lobster being slave food. That's why I have it for Thanksgiving — I see eating lobster on that day as a form of Christian humility. On other days, I eat it to remind myself that I'm really, really well-off.

CapnFatback November 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm

White Castle or porn: either way K-Lo craves a sack.

inapewetrust November 23, 2010 at 2:33 pm

why even get the turkey involved? just cram 10 white castle burgers down your gullet and call it a day. k-lo is such an elitist.

GravyBoyJohnson November 23, 2010 at 2:48 pm

is k-lo the jean teasdale of the national review? nah, the writers of the onion didn't imagine jean teasdale to be that lonely, stupid or gluttonous.

doxastic November 23, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Nah, she's Cathy

Tundra Grifter November 23, 2010 at 3:48 pm

White Castle? This is White Trash Turducken.

Tundra Grifter November 23, 2010 at 3:49 pm

That sign is an obvious fake.

Regular for less than $2.50 a gallon? Where – Saudi?

Jukesgrrl November 23, 2010 at 4:51 pm

In Tucson, I've paid less than $2.50 all summer. But I'm not Mexican so I escape surcharges I'm sure they figured out some way to add.

m_supercomputer November 23, 2010 at 6:03 pm

If I remember the initial Anus Burger sign post correctly, it's from the central Virginia area near Lynchburg, the home of Jerry Falwell's megachurch and Liberty University. I went to college nearby, and gas tended to be cheap there. It was a pretty sweet place to live aside from, you know, all the fundamentalists, and the most active nightlife being at the Sonic and/or Wal-Mart.

DustBowlBlues November 23, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Don't know where else to post it, but that cranberry relish is great, Ken. Thanks.

chascates November 23, 2010 at 4:50 pm

And she's against universal health care? Mrs. Creosote has the right to debase her already corpulent frame but publishing that recipe is like giving a drunk politican a loaded pistol.

Has she ever gone without any food for more than a few hours? If she wants to tell the world's population how to live, think, and pray she should try the standard diet of so many of them–about 400 calories a day.

An_Outhouse November 23, 2010 at 5:01 pm

I read the recipe and it specifically said " NO PICKLES". It did not inform me how to cook the bird so I assume deep fat fried.

Redhead November 23, 2010 at 6:33 pm

K Lopez is the personification of http://thisiswhyyourefat.com.

Rotundo_ November 23, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Most stuffings ingredient lists sound like floor sweepings or garbage pail contents but this one goes that one tiiiny theeeeen waffferrr past disgusting. I used to be revolted by giblets and apples tossed in this shit, now Sliders!?! Also putting anything in the cavity of a roasting bird these days is a monogrammed invitation from the Salmonella fairy to pay a visit to your GI tract. Don't stick nothin' up birdies behind, bake your stuffing seperately!

mrblifil November 23, 2010 at 7:14 pm

This kind of thing is basically begging for a cavity search, jesus.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

and a colonic.

edit: why did I just reply to a 103 week old comment? nevermind, I can answer that myself.

DashboardBuddha November 23, 2010 at 10:41 pm

"10 White Castle hamburgers, no pickles"

No pickles? Why do you hate America you sexless nasty word?

PhillipMarlowe6 November 24, 2010 at 1:00 pm

$2.49 a gallon?
Boy, that must be from the good ol' days.

ttommyunger November 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Wow, is my mouth watering! Odd how it always does that just before I throw up.

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What the hell's wrong with you people?! :0O

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

It's almost like some of us are speaking from the past, oooo spooky!

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Shouldn't the Ghosts of Wonketeers Past start showing up 'round Christmas-time?

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Haven't you heard from our nation's retailers and advertisers, Christmas season begins around late September now.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Whoa it's old-timey comments; talk about a blast from the past!

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Who the hell are all those people?
Oh look, there I am, two years ago. I'll never change, obvs.

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

It's an outrage, I tells ya! Or a holiday miracle!

Either/or…

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

The sad part is seeing several folks I remember who have disappeared over the past two years.

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Wonketeers make comments, Wonketeers stop making comments. How do you explain that?

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Just got done digging through the coupon section of the paper with some coworkers (we're donating food to the food bank and looking for more bang for our buck). The fucking White Castle Stuffing Recipe was listed on one of the coupons for frozen sliders!! It's a Festivus Miracle!

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Makes you proud to be a Merkin!

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Just doing their part to keep America diabetic and sedentary!

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Yeah, whatever happened to good ol' Deleted4918287?

UW8316154 November 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Just don't ask about "She (wolf) Who Shall Not Be Named"…I'm afraid it might summon her from the fiery depths.

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

is that the one who would posts pictures of her dogs and some cabin near a lake? Or maybe I've already said too much.

SayItWithWookies November 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

She was a little over-sharey, but I miss her puns — she could be very entertaining in those moments that she stayed on-topic.

Mumbletypeg November 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Pass the sherry? Thanks.
Keep the share-y, though.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

What about a certain crazed gun nut; who I suspect may be one of the 'Deleted's here?

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Nah, Neilist comes and goes. I don't think he was deleted.

Mumbletypeg November 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Kind of freaky, house-of-mirrors meets Ghosts of Turkey-Day Past. Any minute Layne will glide forth rattling a Marleyesque chain.

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I just looked down, and there's an onion on my belt!!!!!

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Have you got your walkin bird yet?

IncenseDebate November 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

You can't spell cloacal without K-Lo?

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

How do the hamburgers keep for 103 weeks? In the freezer?

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You are assuming that there are actual organic bits in those burgers rather than being entirely synthetic.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

K-Lo stores them in her ass.

BornInATrailer November 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I eat (and drink) like a hog, am a bit of a foodie and a fair cook and I have no problem with more "unusual" items.. yet my stomach just did some flips at the thought of stuffing a turkey with torn up fast food hamburgers.

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

My sole thought is "Why would I *want* to do that?"

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I'd rather be stuffin' Martha's muffin.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm

This is truly a day for blasts from the past..

Monsieur_Grumpe November 20, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I ate at White Castle once about 25 years ago.

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Learned your lesson, eh?

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Has the diarrhea subsided yet?

ManchuCandidate November 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Now the recipe comes with extra tears considering the Obamer won.

BornInATrailer November 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If I could collect enough, I'd brine this year's turkey in them. Mmm.. anguish.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Submitted by White Castle Family of Columbus, OH

So there are living, breathing sliders out there?

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm

And I'm betting they vote Republican.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I voted for Jill Stein, right here* in Columbus!

* O.K., there, because right now I'm in Berkeley Springs.
~

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

If you do it right.

Wait, are we talking about the same thing?

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Well, we know what K-Lo is having. What is she making for her guests?

BadKitty904 November 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

What guests?

widestanceromance November 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Her secret-recipe "All Up in My Folds" Green Bean Tragedy?

Actually, just making them guests is punishment enough.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Don't forget the Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup to make it a true food tragedy!

(need brain bleach for image of cream of mushroom soup all up in K-Lo's folds…gah!)

widestanceromance November 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

You probably don't want to know that she bakes it in a "Dutch Oven," then, huh?

HistoriCat November 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Jonah had other plans this year. Again.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

with Mr. Hand.

SexySmurf November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Did we just go back in time? No one step on any butterflies (Romney might become president) or tell Anthony Weiner Twitter is not email (because I want to keep making jokes about that).

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Huh. Turns out, I'm my own father. Well waddaya know…

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

What happens if I go back and make a reply to a comment I made 104 weeks ago? Seems there might be come kind of anomaly generated in the time-space continuum, and we'll all become Republicans or something.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Actually, this is the new reality. In the original 2012, before these recipe reposts, Romney was president-elect. I like this new 2012 much better. Thanks Wonkette!

widestanceromance November 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I love Wonkette for a break in the time-space continuum every day.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Should we warn our past selves not to go see Being Elmo, because that will just break our hearts in another year?

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm

*that* is the darkest timeline.

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Everyone start growing your goatees now.

Chet Kincaid_ November 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Let me blow your minds: You guys are going to meet, fall in love and consolidate households on the West Coast!! Wait, is this you guys now or you guys then?!

BaldarTFlagass November 20, 2012 at 2:02 pm

This is just like that Final Countdown movie where the Nimitz went back in time to December 6 1941!!!!!

SexySmurf November 20, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Hey, this is SexySmurf from 2014. This is for SexySmurf from 2012. The winning Lotto numbers are 12, 24, 27, 33, 58. Also, in a few months you're going to meet a chick with a slamming rack who works at Bed Bath & Beyond. Stay the hell away from her.

HistoriCat November 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Oh please – you know 2012 you is going to look at her and say "just once".

Defeatably_Joe November 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Quick! Someone warn Jack Stuef not to tell jokes involving the least ignorant Palin!

TootsStansbury November 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Gross. The recipe sounds disgusting too.

Chet Kincaid_ November 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Cool, the Wonkette Stealth Time Machine! Everyone's replying to comments from 104 weeks ago! What if I should meet 2-Years-Ago Chet here and alter the course of future Snark?!

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I guess that makes them timeless, no?

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I think we must all take a jump to the left; and then a step to the ri-i-ight.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Tell 2-Years-Ago Chet not to get too upset about that Brietbart guy.

LibertyLover November 20, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Slow news day?

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

103 weeks ago the Teabaggers had just rolled into Congress on their hoverounds and K-Lo told us she likes to stuff 10 White Castle Sliders in the cavity of a dead carcass.

I don't miss 2010.

gullywompr November 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Christine O'Donnell's ladybug costume was cute. Rich Iott's SS costume wasn't, however.

smokefilledroommate November 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Tea Party–what a fad!

Misty Malarky November 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

True Christian-Americans stuff their turkey's arse with Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches.

Pickles included, dammit.

Blueb4sinrise November 20, 2012 at 2:04 pm

SHOOT THE DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Antispandex November 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Anus burger, shmanus burger. Hell, I just want to get some of that gasoline for under two-fitty!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 20, 2012 at 2:09 pm

It almost makes me think there is a caring, active God knowing that most of NRO's staff will drop dead of heart attacks in the next ten years.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Wouldn't it be faster just to stuff the white casuls up my own ass, along with those cakes we like?

PopeEdgardo November 20, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Would you like fries with that?

Smithboy November 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

She has a thang for bloody Bill Kristol and that asinine grin of his over at NR.

OurHoboSenator November 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

She'll follow it up with a Papa John's pizza for dessert.

BeefHardcake November 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

"White Castle Thanksgiving Stuffing" being the answer to a question nobody, NOBODY ever asked.

I hope.

Pat_Pending November 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

At least the pickles would be a green food product.

randcoolcatdaddy November 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

That's so low class. I only stuff my bird with Big Macs.

Tommmcatt_Again November 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I was going to read this post but then I noticed that the headline contained the words "K-Lo" and "stuffed" and realized that things were probably going to go south pretty quick…

Aridzona November 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

You don't kiss the turkey first? Romance is dead.

rocktonsam November 20, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I was gettin laid in 2010

good times

BZ1 November 20, 2012 at 10:25 pm

That's why turkeys are pardoned on Thanksgiving.

barto November 21, 2012 at 3:01 am

Jesus, Julia C. is rolling in her gravey.

Rarian Rakista November 25, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Not if you drink one of their shakes as well, that mess usually tears through you in about 8 hours.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Me too'd

GhostBuggy November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Blood libeled.

Mumbletypeg November 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

wait… THIS one is not a "repost"??

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm

If I remember correctly he deleted his original account, but later created a new one along with some fake accounts (like the Eleanor Roosevelt one) that people quickly figured out were him, all in the fallout of his making some seriously inappropriate comments in the wake of the Giffords shooting.

And shh, don't say the name, you might summon him!

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

We can also tell our past selves about Ken selling Wonkette to Rebecca, and Prommie and Fakata too.

MissTaken November 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Wait, whut? I'm living in Singapore. You're blowing my mind!

Hey, have you heard of that new show The Event? I hear it's real good and will be on for many seasons!

SorosBot November 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I'm pissed off that America seems to have given up on trying to catch Osama bin Laden, and after the last election how Andrew Breitbart will be annoying us for decades to come.

Chet Kincaid_ November 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Oh yeah, and Aaron Sorkin is going to have a TV show on HBO where people have really hackneyed conversations about stuff that is happening in the New York Times in your time!

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