Happy Anus Burger-Turkey Day!Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of some factory farm turkey.

The recipe is basically this: Tear up 10 entire White Castle hamburgers, pickles and* hamburger rolls and all, and stuff ’em up a dead turkey’s asshole. Later, eat the entire disgusting thing along with any other food or non-food items in your path. Belch, wipe your hands on your sweatpants, turn on the ‘puter and see if any NRO readers have sent some porn so you can masturbate/cry to it, the end. [The Corner]

* It is noted in the comments that the recipe actually calls for the removal of the pickle slices, because why not be pointlessly picky when you’re grinding up fast-food meat pucks and stuffing them in poultry?

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