War monster Hillary Clinton was asked why the American Government now spends most of its resources sexually assaulting little children and humiliating cancer survivors in the nation’s airports. She said it’s totally necessary, for freedom, because as long as the American Government spends the rest of its resources bombing the shit out of Muslims all over the world, furious Muslims will very occasionally try to blow up something in America. And America has no intention of ever stopping its wonderfully successful international mission of blowing up Muslims everywhere — so the best way to do “intelligence screening” is to have high-school dropouts force U.S. citizens into dangerous cancer machines and stroke the tiny innocent genitalia of American pre-school children. Also, ha ha, like Hillary Clinton is ever going to fly commercial!
But if, for some terrible reasons, Hillary Clinton had to take a normal flight instead of being shuttled around by either the U.S. Government or one of her sleazebag husband’s playboy multi-billionaire buddy’s private jets, she would totally try to avoid being porno-scanned or sexually assaulted by illiterate TSA goons drooling all over their uniform slacks as they jam their Quiznos fingers up another child’s rectum, for freedom:
“Haw haw haw haw haw,” says Hillary when asked if she would submit to one of these sex-assault pat-downs. “Not if I could avoid it, haw haw haw, who wouldn’t? Haw haw haw haw haw haw.” Ha ha ha, it is super funny, Hillary! [YouTube/CBS]
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"Not now that Vince is dead, no." (She looks off sadly…)
I don't know. Its probably a long time since Bill gave her a good pat down.
If Hillary were a tad more receptive to the impromptu airport fingerbang, ol' Bill wouldn't have had to fly the friendly Lewinskies.
No one touches Hillary's balls, ever.
if we would kill all the muslins we wouldn't be having this problem. what's this country coming to? there was a time when we would have slaughtered left and right and let somebody's god sort out the bodies. nowadays, we irradiate ourselves, grope each other, and pretend we're safe.
think of all the land and resources that would be freed if we knocked off a billion or so people. we could start a new era of colonization, once the flies settled.
Blood of patriots watering the tree of liberty, or whatever chickenhawk Tom Jefferson said about the French Revolution. And Newt would totally be president because he loves colonies.
Wait–loves them if he does the colonization. Oh, shit. Say hello to your new Teabagger overlords.
I dunno – I can't seem to get my colonists ready to declare independence in time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civilization_IV:_Col...
But think of the smell!
Actually, I kinda liked her laughing. Not nearly as offensive as Maw Bush's laughter over how New Orleans refugees were having the time of their lives. It was almost like the mask suddenly came off and she was actually… human.
But seriously, it's not like we can really trust unskilled high school dropouts to "assess" anything so the Obama admin has to ask itself: What's going to piss off the American public more, being completely humiliated or higher airfares due to increased "security" taxes?
I liked her laughter too, and thought it made her seem real for a few minutes. So you, Madame, are getting a thumbs up.
If she had only taken more crying lessons from teh Boner, she'd be our preznit right now.
Well Michelle Malkin and other right-wingers wouldn't have a problem with Hillary not getting scanned, fingered, and frisked.
Hillary doesn't look Muslim (at least not like how our president looks Muslim anyway.).
Bread hell, I want some goddam cake!!!
She prefers the patdown, because if they naked scan her they'll reveal her balls.
Oh Hilz, don't quote Janet — she gives every indication of being a moran.
How the wingnuts will hear this before their cranial esplosions: "I understand how offensive it must be for the plebes who must endure it, which I of course do not. Like Speaker-Presumptive Boehner, I fly private."
She looks like a Pat in that pant suit. Maybe it depends on what the definition of "Pat" is.
Well, that pesky old Fourth Amendment makes this kinda important for we antiquarians who still think the
Bill of RightsList of Conditional Privileges should mean something.The only part of the Constitution that really matters is the 2nd Amendment. So if people don't like these aggressive pat-downs, they should take their guns to the airport, where they can express their freedom.
This really could kill two birds with one stone, at the very least.
Lots of countries have bombed the shit out of others or otherwise tried to annihilate people because of their color or religion, but, to the best of my knowledge, only the Muslims have bombed back. You never hear of Cambodian plots, do you? So maybe there's a genetic solution.
This one made me laugh out loud. Something about the "bombed back" comment is just very funny. Or maybe it's listening to "Avenue Q" on my ipod while I survey the mountain of shit I have to do before Thursday.
Maybe she suffers from a Blurred Groin. http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2010/11/...
the tipping point with regards to Americans' need for "terror protection" begins with the accetable cattle prodding of any muslin's genitals, regardless of guilt and culpability. Yet a gentle airport OTPHJ is going to far.
(I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but the indignant masses have spoken!)
Wake me when she consents to having some dude stick a cigar up her hoo-hah. Then we'll know that she's serious about fighting terrism.
Since people are so crazy to kill us that they will detonate their dicks, I don't mind everyone being patted down before flying. America is full of whiny cry babies–no one's getting raped or attacked for crying out loud.
Everyone sniveling about this will be the first ones crying that Barry isn't 'doing enough, is soft on terrorism' when/if an incident happens. Toughen the fuck up America–or drive to wherever you're going!
Along that line of thinking, whatever happened to the typical wingnut rhetoric about Repubs stomping on our civil liberties, "Big deal, if you don't have anything to hide, stop bitching?" Now, uh, wait, that it's their freedums that are being stomped on, they're crying like babies. The Brits went through similar with the IRA–if you're going to stomp on Irish ass, you're going to be in for some inconvenience. Same thing now, except "they" are brown.
Okay, how about if the police could come to your house any time to look in the basement and closets for terrorists? Because the terrorists would hide anywhere, and if you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't object.
And how about if NSA were listening to all your phone calls, tracking every Web site you visit, and reading all your email? Well, okay, bad example because they're already doing that. But still!
So in order for me to be free, I have to give up my freedom. WTF's wrong with you? Those whiny cry babies that decided to revolt against their overlords in 1776, would want me to question authority. The raping of our liberties by the state is always because of our safety.
But, I'm going to follow your twisted logic and apply it every aspect of my life. Now excuse me while I wipe my ass before I take a shit.
Hyperbole much? Last time I checked, you had your freedom to fly on an airplane. I don't know who is 'raping your liberties' but I hope you find out who it is & they get prosecuted.
As for the 1776 reference of questioning authority, yes, that is absolutely equivalent to getting a pat down before flying on an airplane.
Wait, so people aren't being hyperbolic when that say "just fucking drive wherever you are going"? If you know a way to drive across the ocean fer freedumz, please stop holding out on me!
I don't know what to think about all this. All I know is that I just don't want to have rolls of fat sticking out over the extra tight control panties and hear cruel laughter while I'm standing in that scanner.
Shallow maybe, but WTF?
Does this backscatter machine make my but look fat?
It's not the machine.
Another great one by Ken Layne, whose posts stand out like a boner in a crowd of the flaccid or half-hard.
Soon we will all dress like green man. A Buck Rogers lane, its so going to happen.
See, getting to fly is a privilege. Getting felt up by TSA goons or them zapping us with killer X-Rays is their right. It might even be their pleasure, though probably not in most cases.
Oh, and I hope everyone reads this story: 2nd vs 4th Amendment smackdown in San Diego!
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/nov/21/gu...
Rather than a pat-down, Wolanyk decided to strip down — to his shorts, actually Calvin Klein bicycle-like shorts, according to his lawyer, Jason Davis of Orange County.
“It was obvious that my underwear left nothing to the imagination,” Wolanyk has told one media source, examiner.com…."Harbor police [they cover the airport] also confiscated his iPhone and the video camera used by his companion, who was also charged with unlawful recording within the airport without permission," said Davis. "He was handcuffed and paraded through two airport terminals in his underwear to the Harbor Police office."
Stinkin' terrorist using his cell phone without permission deserves to go to jail in his bike shorts. TSA has a monopoly on theatrical performances at the airport and will not be mocked!
Jesus. The fucking terrorists have really won this one, haven't they?
I never said let's keep bombing the Muslims (which is why this is occurring in the first place) , but this is the America we have. People being inconvenienced at the airport is the price we pay for some seriously messed up foreign policy. And I repeat that if an incident occurs, everyone will be bitching that there is not enough airport security.
That's just the way we Real Americans are.
And everyone knows you go to war with the Americans you have, not those which you might wish to have in the future.
No, I'm sorry, but it's not bitching – protecting individual rights is what this country is about. Every time we give in to an invasive government we weaken this country – let the people to afraid to get on a plane drive where there going..
In fact, watching a terrorist blow his junk off might have some entertainment value…maybe the airlines could charge extra for it.
We will never have security and selling our freedom this cheap is sure not the way to get it.
The thing that irks me is that Chertoff is profiteering from this whole controversy. He and Brownie ought to be servicing airport restrooms.
Imagine the dust that would fly in a Hillary pat-down.
I witnessed a male TSA agent fondle a lady's boobs the other day in Pittsburgh. I thought, 'No, that's not right! Female passengers are supposed to be getting patted down by female TSA agents!' Then I noticed the passenger was indeed a man with boobs, or moobs as they are better known.
I'm considering suing someone in the government for mental anguish.
My point exactly. This is the worst time in our history to be a fatty.
Dear 99% of the population of Mississippi:
Sucks to be you.
No love,
TSA
I don't have a problem with ripping the TSA for thinking that randomly selecting passengers to have a boot kicked up their asses is "security," but I think that constant bitching about the actual officers is stupid. They make exactly $7.62 a year, before tax, and have slightly less influence over the policies than the kids they have to rub off, for safety. Look at the photo of that agent feeling up that fat passenger: if that's his happy face, Jesus.
Fuck Hil and the TSA for all this shit! The public gropings and irradiations have
nothing to do with ANYTHING except Chertoff's wallet. When are we all going to
grow some balls and tell them to GTFO?
Ken Layne, you are just going to totally be the Lou Dobbs of this scanner/pat-down thing, aren't you? Or the Captain Ahab?
I'm with you, I just lost a fair aount of weight over the last 2 years-Thanks Planet Ftness/Ghetto Gym- and I now go proudly,in my frilly undies and DD cup, through the body scan, knowing, and hoping, that all the TSA dudes are touching themselves in another room. Power of the pussy!
TSA's aeroporto theater is a boring one trick pony that has cost a staggering amount to catch a few hundred illegulz and none bombers. Teh Brick will likely go somewhere else next time anyway, something like bowl games or sewer pipes, but in the meantime they loves the mileage they're get with this threat level Boehner orange fear fest.
I feel that some joke about the Blue Man group should go here.
It was amazing to see the Wingnuts foaming at the mouth this weekend over the new TSA policy.
They were all in favor of violating someone's rights to privacy when the Bush Misadministration said it was necessary to win the War On Terror.
C'Addle's Horsesass has a wonderful bit on security in the airplane poopatorias. TSA works this like a magician, keep you lookin' at the wrong hand.
No, I totally understand his/her point. It takes fucking patdowns at an airport to draw Americans together. It's important, but it'd be heartening if more pressing issues could bring us together. I'm far more concerned by warrantless wire tapping — a very real and long-term problem — than the plight of a selective group of travelers (flyers).
It's not that this isn't a privacy concern, or that it's unimportant, but that it takes something like this to bring Americans of different views together.
We also united around hating that British lady who got videotaped tossing a kittycat into a garbage bin. So, yeah, there are definitely some things we can build on.
all the time
still with the fake cackle
all the time
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