WILLOW FOR PRESIDENT!  11:13 am November 22, 2010

Willow Palin Buys Drugs In Target Parking Lot

by Ken Layne

Nobody wants the one who pooped out a baby.Important political magazine Life & Style (is this that Tina Brown/Newsweek thing?) just sent us a very important news update on Willow Palin, the hot teen sensation of Discovery Channel’s new travel video, White Trash On Drugz. According to unimpeachable sources (other white trash kids in Wasilla), Willow is such a piece of trash. Plus she is so dumb, she buys marijuana in Alaska, where it is free and grows everywhere — except anywhere around a Palin, as the only food that doesn’t wilt in the presence of a Palin woman is something assembled by Taco Bell. Let’s learn all about parking lot life in Wasilla, at 1 a.m., with your favorite “first family,” the Palins!

Willow is hot in today’s Amurukuh because she is not all worn out like her old babymama sister, what’s her name. Let this be a lesson to rural teens nationwide: Get that abortion so you can stay sexxxy and keep partyin’ in the parking lot.

Here is what this magazine sent us, in an email, about the newest Palin sensation:

Several former peers of the 16-year-old have gone on-record to exclusively reveal to Life & Style that Willow took part in a 1am drug deal, and that she “chugged” vodka when she was just 15.

Lance Nezaticky, a former classmate of Willow’s, tells Life & Style that he watched as Willow took part in a drug transaction in a deserted Target parking lot in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, around 1 a.m. on a December night last year. Lance, 18, watched as a male driver pulled up, with Willow riding in the passenger seat. The driver bought $20 worth of marijuana, says Nezaticky, then handed it to Willow. “It was definitely her,” Nezaticky tells Life & Style. “There’s no question. I had met her before.” After buying roughly 2 grams of pot, Willow and her companion drove off. “Willow had been told that the pot was really good stuff,” Nezaticky recalls.

You should go check this shit out, we bet! This is probably the main magazine in the check-out aisles wherever you redeem food stamps for Diet Coke and frozen pizzas. [Life & Style]

 
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{ 163 comments }

tbogg November 22, 2010 at 11:16 am

Wasilla has a Target? Upscale!

facehead November 22, 2010 at 11:20 am

And the Rape Kits are so much cheaper there!

Oblios_Cap November 22, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Another example of Palin's funnelling of our tax dollars to make life in Wasilla plusher!

Taxed Enough Already, Taking America Right, Dammit!

Crank_Tango November 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

argé?

Guppy06 November 22, 2010 at 12:10 pm

First Target wants to kill all gays in Minnesoter, now they're setting up shop in Wasilla. Coincidence?

CablinasianDem November 22, 2010 at 11:18 am

Willow's coming of age will baffle future scientists in determining which Palin is Patient Zero for the largest syphilis outbreak in Alaska's history.

Darthhippy November 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

I am at a loss of words to discribe how mindblowing that statement was in its just bluntness.

mayor_quimby November 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Wow, thank you for that mental image. My dick just wrapped itself in teflon and kevlar.
That's gonna make a great case on House M.D. isn't it?

Worthly Wokette Skum November 22, 2010 at 2:00 pm

They're all Zeroes.

WarAndGee November 22, 2010 at 11:18 am

I clicked to said Web site. Am now renouncing my US citizenship.

Clancy_Pants November 22, 2010 at 11:25 am

The link should carry a Surgeons General warning. I feel like sticking this letter opener in my eyes.

charlesdegoal November 22, 2010 at 11:43 am

On the other hand, where else can you find out that Kim Zolciak is has been impregnated by boyfriend Kroy Biermann?

elviouslyqueer November 22, 2010 at 11:52 am

Yep, and apparently Kim is another proud graduate of the Bristol Palin School of Abstinence Only, God Hates Condoms, Sex Ed: "While it certainly wasn't planned, God obviously had a bigger plan for us."

mayor_quimby November 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Kim Zwhatever has definitely fucked 'up' this time. Now she is knocked up by an (white!) NFL player.
Beats being a mistress. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

jtinks November 22, 2010 at 11:19 am

two grams of "really good stuff" for twenty bucks? maybe wasilla ain't so bad…

natoslug November 22, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Wasilla good stuff == seeds, stems and a little oregano, followed by inhaling a can of gas in a paper bag. I picture Willow's crowd being more huffers than puffers. It would explain the wit and wisdom of the Palin clan.

GOPCrusher November 22, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Matanuska Valley Thunderfuck is some fine weed, or so I've been told.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 11:19 am

Target is part of the Dayton family of stores, Macy's & the like, no?

In this case, then, this drugs transaction, in a Target parking-lot, is the fault not of Willow Palin, the buyer, nor her mother, Sarah Palin, for not raising her brood better, but, in fact, the responsibility of Mark Dayton, Democrat pretend governor of Minnesota.

Stupid Dems.

BerkeleyBear November 22, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Except the Dayton's sold out years ago and the Target company endorsed his anti-gay fundie opponent. So you need to add a link or to in the chain.

jakegittes November 22, 2010 at 11:19 am

Diet Coke? I don't think so. Gotta have the real thing. Much much quicker path to diabetes.

themcwow November 22, 2010 at 11:20 am

Nezaticky—my new band name.

V572625694 November 22, 2010 at 11:24 am

That's Lance J Nezaticky, bitch — not his brother Thurgood Nezaticky.

jim89048 November 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Of the Palmer Nezatickys, or the Anchorage Nezatickys?

jfruh November 22, 2010 at 11:20 am

Wow, I'm impressed at America's rural white trash teens' ability to casually use metric units. See, don't say drugs are all bad, America.

Crank_Tango November 22, 2010 at 11:39 am

Drugs are also good at teaching kids fractions. well mostly the 1/4, 1/8, 1/16 kind of fractions, but still.

KathrynSane November 22, 2010 at 11:23 am

Damn, if only she would start sneaking that weed into her mother's cooking. She'd still be a moron, but I'll take a stoned hippy moron over a methed-out Jesus conservatard moron any day.

Another plus is that she'd probably be too busy watching Planet Earth and eating Cheetos to destroy America, also too.

BaldarTFlagass November 22, 2010 at 11:24 am

Facebook flame war screen capture on Wonkette, stat!

Eve8Apples November 22, 2010 at 11:25 am

If Sarah was my mother, I'd chug vodka and smoke pot too. Atta girl!

BaldarTFlagass November 22, 2010 at 11:42 am

Shit, I'd be doing speedballs at a rate that would make Keith Richards blanch.

BeWoot November 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

Sarah was NOT my mother, but I never let that stop me from chugging vodka and smoking pot. This makes me think there may be some hope for little Willow.

Lucidamente1 November 22, 2010 at 11:25 am

At least Willow didn't betray her religion.

Terry November 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

She's a Rastafarian?

Lucidamente1 November 22, 2010 at 11:42 am

Bravo, sir! And her grassy knoll is way better than JFK's.

Thurman Munster IV November 22, 2010 at 11:26 am

Matanuska Thunderfuck for only 20 bucks? Keep dreaming. It hasn't been that cheap since the state pulled out of the subsidy business

DahBoner November 22, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Schwag!

PublicLuxury November 22, 2010 at 11:26 am

Willow was impregnated by a drug dealer?

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 11:31 am

& she's pregnant with Bridget Mc Cain.

Weenus299 November 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm

so if aborted it's a Bridget to nowhere.

johnnymeatworth November 22, 2010 at 11:45 am

in a perfect world….

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 22, 2010 at 11:27 am

So again, Mrs. Palin, specifically which newspapers and magazines do you read on a regular basis?

GOPCrusher November 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm

High Times

Serolf_Divad November 22, 2010 at 11:27 am

So is Sarah Palin going to apologize to David Letterman when Willow gets herself knocked up by Alex Rodriguez?

freakishlywrong November 22, 2010 at 11:32 am

No. Conservatives are never wrong. Hence, they never apologize.

freakishlywrong November 22, 2010 at 11:27 am

Ugh. All Palin all the time. The only thing that comes to my mind when I see any and all of them is Mean Girls.

smartalek1 February 7, 2011 at 9:00 pm

They should be so lucky.
LiLo on her worst day, hungover and strung out, is still an order of magnitude better looking than any of the Palinettes on their best day, with God Himself doing the photoshop.
Not to mention that LiLo in an alky blackout has a higher IQ than the Palin corporate-welfare-queen collective combined.

That's not to say they don't have their uses.
No matter how low you go, you can still look at yourself in a mirror and say, "Well at least I'm not an apallin' Palin."

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 11:29 am

Also: is that white hair in Sarah's picture?

My, the vanity on this woman. Why, it's a sin.

slithytovesss November 22, 2010 at 11:29 am

In honor of sanity can we have a Palin-free zone for just a couple of hours?

CablinasianDem November 22, 2010 at 12:19 pm

It's called a library.

genxr November 22, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Ah, constant din from moronic noise machine that is the Palin clan. Whenever my brain becomes too content, too calm, and starts to form coherent, logical thoughts with any degree of sophistication, I stop and say, "I wonder what the Palins are up to? Better check Wonkette."

102415 November 23, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Not until Bristol either wins or wins DWTS. Or forever because the Scientologists are running them now.

prommie November 22, 2010 at 11:29 am

This brings back to mind the legendary Micanopy Purple!

weejee November 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

$20 for 2g? The days of $20 an oh zee are just a distant memory.

Crank_Tango November 22, 2010 at 11:43 am

well I haven't seen a flat brown seedy bud in years either, so there's that.

prommie November 22, 2010 at 11:52 am

Oh, the kids these days, they won't believe you if you tell them, $20 for an ounce of leafy mexican, a sandwhich bag as round as your forearm. Of course, you had to smoke it like cigarrettes, one after another after another. Still, that made it so much easier to "craft" your buzz, titrate it to the perfect level and maintain it there. Ah, the good old days, they were sometimes actually good.

Oblios_Cap November 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Plus, you got really good at rolling joints!

prommie November 22, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Whatever happened to that measurement known as a "lid?"

Ramon X November 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm

And when was the last time anyone spoke the words, "dime bag?" (…sniff)

Native_of_SL_UT November 22, 2010 at 1:00 pm

If you have any "distant memories" at all, you're doing it wrong. I'm pretty sure I did a lot of fun things back in the 80's, but I don't remember any of it.

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 4:33 am

Is this the old doper's threadjacking party? I've got an invitation.

HateMachine November 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

I notice this "Them Palin Kidz" episode is brought to us by Ken Layne himself. Was Jack going to have a psychotic episode if he had to write any more Willow news?

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

Warwick Davis has made many a Goodman go bad.

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 4:36 am

Uh-oh, little girl, psychotic reaction

SorosBot November 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

Who could have predicted the girl who likes to publicly tell people "your a fuckin faggot" would be trashy?

Monsieur_Grumpe November 22, 2010 at 11:32 am

The Palins are indeed a noble family; they just keep giving and giving.
*tears of joy*

Bluestatelibel November 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

That Palin-women photographic troika says it all. Don't need to read anything.

tbogg November 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

Drugs and she's pregnant? How is Sarah going to fake the pregnancy of Trig II, the Wasilla Flipperboy?

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 4:30 am

I think Sarah just stuffs a salmon up there and then gets into the bathtub with Willow. It worked with Bristol.

charlesdegoal November 22, 2010 at 11:35 am

I bet this Nezaticky fellow is the dealer. How else would he by privy to all those details? Ratting on customers – very classy, Lance.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm

The term is "entrepreneur," or "small businessman."

Sgt_Biyatch November 22, 2010 at 11:36 am

I don't find this news very shocking. The real lipstick on a pig is pretending that the Palins are anything more than trash. They are this generation's version of the Ewells in To Kill a Mockingbird.

metamarcisf November 22, 2010 at 11:51 am

With Levi as Boo Radley, in the role originated by Robert Duvall.

genxr November 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Willow is going to have to look that up on Wikipedia to find out if she's insulted or not.

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 3:03 am

The Palins are trash and that is the point. The more out of wedlock babies, abortions, holier than thou hypocrisy, knee jerk patriotism, ignorance, bigotry, drug and sex scandals the better. What the republicans are offering as a presidential candidate is the failure that white rural America sees in the mirror every day.
That is to say, not Obama.

rocktonsam November 22, 2010 at 11:36 am

It's 1 am, do you know were any of your children are Mrs. Palin?

And Trig is the tard….

Tundra Grifter November 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

"Several former peers…?" What's up with "former peers?" Were they kicked out of the House of Lords?

metamarcisf November 22, 2010 at 11:38 am

More from the novel, "White Punks on Dope":

"Hey, you see that big crack in the back of Trig's skull?"

"Yeah"

"You put your weed in there."

ManchuCandidate November 22, 2010 at 11:39 am

I guess Willow is a fan of Aqua Budda.

neiltheblaze November 22, 2010 at 11:40 am

Well! No wonder she was so pissy on Facebook! Hormones!

Crank_Tango November 22, 2010 at 11:41 am

Well I dunno about the rest of you, but smoking weed and fucking are about the only things I can relate to this family on.

ManchuCandidate November 22, 2010 at 11:42 am

It's also about the only things they're good at plus baby making.

genxr November 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

They are a proud family, with a whole shelf full of fuck trophies. In jars.

Pragmatist2 November 22, 2010 at 11:44 am

Hold it! You have to leave the trailer park to buy drugs??????

ph7 November 22, 2010 at 11:45 am

I live in a glass house, and was 15 once, too, so I'll just shut up here.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm

I live in a third-floor flat & have never smoked weed — in fact, the heaviest substance I have done was mixing Goldschlager & Jagermeister in the same glass (not a shot-glass, either — a tumbler!) — so I can say what I want.

JoshuaNorton November 22, 2010 at 11:49 am

You should have seen her before she went to finishing school.

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 4:08 am

Is that where she got her molding nailed?

JimboFender November 22, 2010 at 11:49 am

I always thought "Real Americans" got their dank at Walmart parking lots.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2010 at 11:51 am

Life is going to get very ouchy for Lance Nezaticky. He's gonna have to come up with all sorts of papers verifying his birth, his church attendance, status of parents marriage, his citizenship and AIP / NRA / Militia status since he's of age for a good few months.

mavenmaven November 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Na, they'll just go troopergate on him and bust him for all sorts of crimes he didn't commit. Remember, we are in end-of-Weimar like times. Wouldn't be surprised if someone killed him for Palin.

NorthStarSpanx November 22, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Will Bill'O start calling him Lance Lance Fetus Askance to incite the bots sufficiently enough?

WhatTheHeck November 22, 2010 at 11:53 am

This weekend, Sarah Palin said profiling was ok.
Sooo… Alaska > Wasilla > White Trash.
Nah. I don't got nothin.

StillGoinGreen November 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

Let's see here… I like fuckin, I LOVE weed, I eat cheetos from Target after smoking weed – HOLY SHIT!!! I'm a Palin. Well that is just fucking great – all this time I have been using this goddamned conscience when I didn't even need it!

SorosBot November 22, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Have you ever used birth control while fuckin'? Then you're no Palin.

StillGoinGreen November 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Wheeewww!! That was a close one! I was getting worried that I might actually be forced to call up some of my straight friends and call them fuckin faggots – you know, so I could enjoy all the wolf steaks and fried elk balls I could eat on Indian-killin Day!

DingusMcHatred November 22, 2010 at 11:56 am

Izz ok doc, I gotz the glowcomas real bad…

BeWoot November 22, 2010 at 11:56 am

"Calls for comment to Sarah Palin's camp were not immediately returned."

Why this family camping when they have that nice house right there beside the old McGinnis place?

DoktorZoom November 22, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I dunno…is Sarah Palin "camp" like Tammy Faye Bakker was?

transfatz November 23, 2010 at 4:17 am

Does the bear…

EatsBabyDingos November 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

I bought some of that "Kotzebue Kong" last year; they grow it on walrus blubber.

mrpuma2u December 1, 2010 at 9:54 am

I thought the preferred growth matrix was moose and fur seal turds in a 60/40 ratio (respectfully) with some puffin guano sprinkled on top.

MarionNYNY November 22, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Isn't Wonkette supposed to be providing "political" gossip? Why so much stuff about these boring faux celebutantes?

StillGoinGreen November 22, 2010 at 12:24 pm

Here ya go:

"Boner cries alot and Eric Cantor isn't gay – but his boyfriend who makes his little tuna sandwiches (with the crusts removed) is. Now, back to teh white trash teens who fuck like bunnies!!

Oblios_Cap November 22, 2010 at 12:04 pm

Lance Nezaticky, a former classmate of Willow’s

So which one is the dropout?

metamarcisf November 22, 2010 at 12:10 pm

McCain John for news good is this.

Negropolis November 23, 2010 at 12:17 am

Master Yoda? That you?

Weenus299 November 22, 2010 at 12:14 pm

This seals it. 1. Brunhilde Palin will win the Dance-a-Lotta contest. 2. Seara Palin will win the presidency. 3. Todd becomes Veep Dude. 4. Willer will OD.

DashboardBuddha November 22, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Tonight! On Shooting Up with the Stars…

slappypaddy November 22, 2010 at 12:17 pm

isn't it about time for willow to start dancing?

Barbara_i November 22, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Willow is now my favorite celebutard!

weejee November 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Teh Palin's, the dreamz of the single wide nation.

Oblios_Cap November 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm

$arah is living the real American Dream. She is the living embodiment of the Peter Principal, and, despite her mental deficiencies, managed to amass a small fortune of of a group of rubes who think she's more than she is.

Hard work may not make you sucessful, but a little fraud will take you a long way!

Pop_Socket November 22, 2010 at 12:24 pm

News Flash: Teenager Does Something Stupid.

SecretMuslin November 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm

And nothing that I didn't do about 150 times between the ages of 15 and 22. Well, never in the Target parking lot, but still…

BaldarTFlagass November 22, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I let my subscription to Rolling Stone lapse about 20 years ago for the same reason.

mrblifil November 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm

I smell a set up. Google Translate tells me that Nezaticky is the Aleut word for "faggot."

JoeMamased November 22, 2010 at 12:36 pm

"Mom said no boys upstairs, but she didn't say anything about the parking lot."

SorosBot November 22, 2010 at 12:37 pm

So how long will it be until one of the Palins pulls a Britney/Lindsay and flashes the paparazzi while not wearing panties?

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Before I decide if this is a good thing, shaved, unshaved, or neatly trimmed?

SorosBot November 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Only Levi knows for sure. And about 90% of the male population of Wasilla High.

jim89048 November 22, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Thanks for reminding me–when my 16 year old girlfriend dumped me, I naturally hit on her 15 year old sister. Does this mean I'm a Palin, or a Johnston?

zhubajie November 22, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Unshaven and unshorn.

DashboardBuddha November 22, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Alaska and beavers – natch.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Cool. Still won't be as glourious as Emma Watson's 18th birthday upskirt, though.

lulzmonger November 23, 2010 at 1:55 am

Probably wind up with one sweet over/under on that if you know what I mean, say no more say no more!

chickensmack November 22, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Wonketteers: Do we hate on the Palins so vociferously because we hope to Allah that the rest of America will figure out what we know, or because they're an easy white-trash target?

Or is this just for the lulz? I can live with that.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

We want the rest to know.

If it were just the trashiness, we'd be giving equal time to Sue "Chickens for check-ups" Lowden & Mercede "Alaska's Newssource" Johnston. Sure, they have gotten some, but not nearly as much.

DoktorZoom November 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

I thought we hate the Palins because they represent everything that's good and true about America, and liberals are a bunch of degenerates denginerates who recoil from her Pure American-ness like cockroaches exposed to light. Conservapedia wouldn't lie about that, would they?

xsluggo November 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Don’t blame Willow. It was part of her class project.

fartknocker November 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

She can hide her Mary Jane in her trucknutzs.

genxr November 22, 2010 at 1:25 pm

In high school health class we were warned that drugs accumulate in the trucknutz and cause elephantitis.

donner_froh November 22, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Good lord–the first time I encountered "Life&Style" was as a printed magazine. I first thought it must be a one-off parody of supermarket check-out aisle mags. When I realized it was an actual publication I jokingly said to a friend "Ha, this looks like "People" for people whose head explodes if they have to read anything longer than a caption on a photo."

And then the true horror hit me–neither a parody or a dumb joke but something that Americans actually buy and consume (not read, since they can't).

chickensmack November 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Maybe Sarah should stop writing books and going on tour, and being on teevee, and parent these goddamned kids. Christ, what a turnaround she'd become. She would have the Republican nod for the next presidential race by nightfall, if she'd just commit to doing ANYTHING, other than flash-in-the-pan capitalism.

MissTaken November 22, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Sadly I think missing out on the parenting skills of Sarah is probably the only thing that will save Piper and Trig. Track and Field, Bristol Farms, and Weeping Willow are already lost causes.

AntonovBureau November 22, 2010 at 1:12 pm

I wish I knew you could buy pot at Target before, this will make life so much easier. I hate all those beepers and stuff.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Too true. They'd "mistakenly" dateline the story 'Washington', instead of 'Wasilla' — all those pesky 'W' place-names; so confusing — & speak of the First Family (by which they would to have meant 'former First Family of Alaska', but would have interpreted as the Obamas) as being in turmoil.

Tundra Grifter November 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

I made the mistake of hitting the "Life & Style" link – Low Life and No Style.

By far the worst items were about the "Teen Mom." A teenager with a child isn't under enough pressure? This is far beyond any rational or even irrational excuse.

No snark, no snide, nothing funny – this is just sick. I'll join the posts above that state, in various ways, "ENOUGH!"

PS: I forgot to slam that blonde Faux Kardashian featured on the site. How low can you go?

Ancient_Hackery November 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Sorry, this story can't be correct– Willow doesn't get off her shift at the brass pole until 2AM.

GOPCrusher November 22, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Actually, The Great Alaskan Bush Company in Anchorage doesn't close until 5AM.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I've been there. & one of the dancers went to high-school with my college roommate.

It's a small world after all.

Not_So_Much November 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Claim this as a badge of honor. When we get to the "Boy and His Dog" phase of our current society, you will be king over the retardz.

LionHeartSoyDog November 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm

[she "chugged" vodka when she was just 15.]

Wodka? I knew her. A Russian girl…

Worthly Wokette Skum November 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm

What a skank. No wonder A-Rod dumped her after that once.

Worthly Wokette Skum November 22, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Meanwhile, little Piper watches and learns.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 2:36 pm

What is it Chris Rock said? Being a good parent is keeping your son off the pipe & your daughter off the pole?

Yeah, Sarah Palin — not a good parent.

LakeLucilleLoon November 22, 2010 at 2:58 pm

It's all really good stuff up here; that's why we live here.

BornInATrailer November 22, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Which is precisely why Willow needs the good weed.

AntonovBureau November 22, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Grams? What kind of socialist metric system are they using up in AK? WEED IS SOLD IN Z's people!!

problemwithcaring November 22, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Sex tape with Andy in 3…2…

BarackMyWorld November 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm

I was going to make some comment about how unfair it was to deride the children of politicians and how irrelevant it was to public office….then I remembered that Sarah Palin constantly refers to her parental status as a qualification for office, and realized I don't give a fuck.

zhubajie November 22, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Did she share them with Sarah? Bristol? Trig?

Negropolis November 23, 2010 at 12:21 am

Remember Palin totally flipping the fuck out at Dave Letterman when he mistook Willow for Bristol? Yeah.

Piper doesn't even have a chance, poor thing. The only one who'll escape the curse of the Palin's is Trig, thank the baby Jeebus.

stevnjessie1 November 23, 2010 at 3:52 pm

The trailer doesn't fall far from the park.

OCKerouac November 29, 2010 at 4:17 pm

We're called The Aristocrats!

mrpuma2u December 1, 2010 at 9:48 am

No doubt. At that price it better be one-hit wonder weed.

slappypaddy November 22, 2010 at 12:16 pm

just wait until they're the first family. the laughs will be non-stop. and the world will fear our imperial might.

DoktorZoom November 22, 2010 at 12:51 pm

But dontcha know, it's all lies, lies from the lamestream media, aided and abetted by the Palins' local enemies, who just happen to include everyone they've had contact with in Alaska.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 12:52 pm

One correction: Track is the eldest of the Heath-Palin brood. Tripp is the grandson, by Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston.

Nopantsmcgee November 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Or" two (or three or four) finger" bag.

Lascauxcaveman November 22, 2010 at 1:00 pm

And nobody believes me when I say it was a lot more fun to be a kid back in the '70s. They just laugh at me.

horsedreamer_1 November 22, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Not since Pantera was still touring.

Jukesgrrl November 22, 2010 at 2:28 pm

They can yell, "Lies!" all they want to, those babies are still there.

i_AM_ready November 22, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Wow, good catch! I don't know how anybody can keep them straight. Let's start calling the Palin kids Robert, Edward, Mary, Elizabeth etc. Would make it easier.

Either that, or call Bristol "Hefty," Willow "Spacey," Track "Iraqy," etc.

trampndirtdown November 22, 2010 at 10:53 pm

You seen Willow lately, she is starting to get as thick as big sis. Weed and chalupas will do that. Refudiate also.

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