Palin Apparently Not Going To Be Subtle About This Running For President Thing

  fake estate

The “will she, won’t she?” speculation about Palin in 2012 has become a Washington parlour game – as well as generating free publicity for her new book, which goes on sale this week.

In the course of making arrangements for that tour, two aides organising Palin’s visit to Des Moines on 27 November told locals they were looking into office space and other logistical needs for the coming year, the Guardian has learned.

Why wait? Let’s get the “being asked at a rally if she thinks Obama may be the antichrist and saying she’s not sure” part of the campaign over with right now. [Guardian]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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92 comments

    1. axmxz

      Only the Russians watching her from their houses know the score: "Chukcha is not a reader; Chukcha is a writer."

    1. natoslug

      I'd give you a thumb up, but you forgot vapid, illiterate, two-faced and hateful, which gives you 57%. Although I did bump that up to 63% for the image of her bouffanted merkin. Oh to hell with it, you get the thumb, because anyone who speaks out against the shortbus queen deserves praise.

      1. trampndirtdown

        True a bouffant would take time and effort sitting in the hairdressers chair, and maybe even a tip for the stylist. Cheap grifting bitch.

  1. HateMachine

    I can't wait to see the epic, savage war the GOP will have to wage against her, for the sake of their very survival.

    Fuck it, can we get Zombie Don LaFontaine to narrate the trailer for this? "IN A WORLD…"

      1. HateMachine

        Some, maybe even most of them, true. But pretty much the entire Republican Party has a simple choice: Destroy Sarah Palin, or doom themselves to minor party status.

        Either as a Presidential candidate or a congressional kingmaker, she's nothing but straight-up electoral poison for them.

      2. trampndirtdown

        Not really, quite a number are just coasting along below the crest of the wave. They will survive to continue to suck up money and power from any available source. Principles and convictions mean nothing to many pol's on both sides of the aisle, and unfortunately the slick and slimy seem to survive the longest.

  2. horsedreamer_1

    If she runs, I want to Dan Savage to do her campaign like he did Gary Bauer's in 2000: volunteer to work the Iowa Caucuses, but only so he can cough on every doorknob in the campaign HQ.

  3. KathrynSane

    I'm still not sure whether or not I want her to run and win the Republican nomination. On the one hand, it would surely bring the lulz and Obama should get reelected no problem. On the other hand, I don't think my mental health can handle another two years of listening to her campaign word-vomit and my teatarded family's praise for her lack of knowledge about world issues and sentence structure.

    1. PsycWench

      Think of all the Political Science, History and Communications professors who will have to read dissertations, theses and endless end of semester papers on Sarah Palin's White House run and all manner of minutia associated with it. On the plus side, I fully expect Intro Psyc books to handle her ascendancy in ten years in much the same tone as they handle the Challenger disaster.

    2. zhubajie

      I want her to run and win. Sorry, folks, but it's time for my beloved homeland to go onto the list of ex-empires, and stop murdering a million gooks here, a million rag-heads there. Sarah Pee will totally bankrupt and disorganize the US so that it's dangerous to no one but itself.

      1. Negropolis

        Yeah, so that wonderful, socially, politically, and environmentally conscious nation of China can begin to set more of the world's agenda. You know, the US has much it can work on, but the alternative power is not is not a better one, not even close.

        1. zhubajie

          China has lots of problems, but it at least allows me to earn a living with my talents. If I'd stayed in the US, I'd probably be a minimum wage-slave still, perhaps even one of those degraded TSA crotch-feelers. (Definitely a job of last resort.) :-(

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, her running mate will bear some close scrutiny, as he/she will become prez when she quits halfway through her term.

    1. HateMachine

      We should have the running mate debate Barry and just let Palin embarrass herself in front of Biden again.

    2. Zvi_Bleindmeis

      The most important thing in choosing a running mate is defying the conventional wisdom and showing how a real maverick thinks. So who is the last person people expect she would choose for her ticket?

      I'm going with either Gilbert Gottfried or dark horse Kanye West.

      1. kenlayisalive

        Palin/Gottfried 2012!

        Now THAT would be an election to watch. Plus, when dealing with Palins, the Aristocrats jokes basically write themselves – so Gilbert would never be without material.

  5. prommie

    Palin, subtle? Thats unpossible. Where's the news here, Palin not being subtle, thats like saying "Palin not being intelligent."

  6. LetUsBray

    She does everything else with all the subtlety of a Tourette's-stricken elephant with explosive diarrhea; why should this be any different?

  7. EatsBabyDingos

    Conventional Repblican wisdom says she will need a dumber but cuter running mate, ala Quayle, First Bush, Whoever Ran With Dole.

    My Question: Other than any of the LOLCats, who would qualify?

    1. zhubajie

      Well, Ben Quayle is attempting to run for something or other. I suppose he's as semi-qualified as his dad was.

  8. PublicLuxury

    With the family values she instills in her youngsters she's a shoe in.

    Track: charged with cutting the break lines of school buses

    Bristol: Abstinence only single parent at 18

    Willow: Homophobic, sexually active (probably) drug user (probably) binge drinker.

    Piper: Waiting to see what debauchery is left after the others git done.

    Trigg: Retard. Too stupid to be involved in anything illicit.

    It is surprising that the idiot fundies still support this family of dumb, degenerate, delinquents.

    1. donner_froh

      That list is a pretty good summary of the families of a lot of idiot fundies. Their kids have as much sex and do as many drugs as any kids–they just aren't very good at covering it up although mom and dad can ignore it with the best of them.

  9. johnnymeatworth

    Running for President is the only way she can save her trashy drug-addled attention whore kids….

  10. Come here a minute

    They are working out the logistics of obtaining office space that will accommodate meth lab facilities.

  11. NorthStarSpanx

    If she taps Condi, she gets the black and the conservative womens twofer; but loses the middle and old whites. The rich would stay, Condi still makes bank for them.

      1. problemwithcaring

        Plenty of Black folk would vote for Condi. Sad, but true. The thing is, Condi is from a petite bourgeoisie family (the Rice's were the "good Black boys" of Montgomery Alabama) and she would just as soon run as a running mate with Muslin Nobama than a no class, non-lineage having white trash like Palin.

        1. Negropolis

          "Plenty" as in the less than 10% of blacks that vote for Republicans in any given election. No, plenty of African Americans wouldn't vote for Condi.

          1. SorosBot

            Both Michael Steele in Maryland and Lynn Swann here in Pennsylvania proved the Republicans can't just grab black votes by nominating some self-hating black guy, even one who was great at catching a football.

          2. problemwithcaring

            One is too many to me. So I said plenty. Condi's book tour came through LA and her progressive cousin, civil rights lawyer Connie Rice was just one of many African American progressives sitting around singing her praises and lining up for pictures. So yea, I stand by "plenty" in this total hypothetical and made up scenario.

  12. NorthStarSpanx

    Had Track Google Termagant. You aren't buying my sunny disposition and nurturing, family persona?

    Close, but muslins don't worship me, I won't allow them to.

  13. charlesdegoal

    You put this whole thing in the right historical perspective, even if some may argue that Nixon-Agnew and even Bush-Cheney are major party precedents.

  14. HistoriCat

    Sarah is just a big tease. She's that girl in high school who kept hinting that you might be able to get beyond first base with her but it never happened. Then she ends up getting knocked up by a football player.

    Not to strain my analogy (is it? I don't fucking remember) but this means she'll "run" then drop out to retain the cushy high-dollar lifestyle she has now.

  15. Chet Kincaid

    Thanks. And somebody else has definitely identified Track as one of the unnamed? Sorry to be anal, I just like to know these things. Couldn't find anything definitive googling around on my own.

  16. justkillmenow

    Any word on when that advance team is getting to Iowa? I want to make sure I'm out of the state by then. Fucking morans.

  17. mavenmaven

    She will, like Bachmann, make a lot of noise and then graciously take a second place to some man. I hope it will be Boehner/Palin if only for the comedy.

  18. chascates

    To quote from blondesense:
    Sarah Palin is like a serious, morbidly gruesome traffic accident with mangled bodies and wreckage splattered everywhere.
    And don’t get me started on that shrill, high pitched Banshee-like screech, which causes dogs to cower in fear, that she calls a voice. Fingernails grating on a blackboard, screaming cats, babies bawling and smoke alarms pale in comparison and are more like the sound of snowflakes hitting the ground to that firehouse whine of hers. It’s hard to imagine someone living with that voice let alone hearing it in moments of passion. And it seems the crazier and more fanatic things she rants about, the higher the pitch until it’s nearly indistinguishable from a witches cackle. Sooner or later, camera lenses will shatter and microphones fail. Basic acoustics!
    Sarah Palin is a joke foisted on us by John McCain and the media. She is that horrific accident along the road of life we all know we shouldn’t but can’t help but watch so we can secretly be able to tell our friends we were there when she once again made a complete ass of herself. And like a traffic accident and the fools who rubber-neck, it never seems to get old.

  19. BarackMyWorld

    Everyone go back and re-read the Sarah Palin chapters in Game Change and then tell me how you think this thing ends.

    (Spoiler warning: She quits before the first primary.)

  20. AKMark

    Obama is personally and directly responsible for my rights being violated before I can fly.

    I honestly do not care who runs against him, I will actively campaign for ANY OTHER PERSON as long as Obama allows this ongoing destruction of my Constitutional Rights.

      1. AKMark

        Well that's an uncommonly silly thing to say, because he did not.

        However, HE DOES CONTROL IT COMPLETELY. Because he chose the head of DHS, and DHS is a cabinet post, it reports to him directly.

        He chose Napotalano, and approved (career FBI agent) Pistole as head of TSA.

        This incredible abuse and violation of our rights is happening WITH BARACK OBAMA as the MAN IN CHARGE.

        I think it's amazing that I get thumbs down for simply stating a verifiable truth. Guess some don't want their opinions ruined by fact.

        1. predilectrix

          -1 for hyperbolic rage over something that isn't an incredible abuse and violation of our rights. +100 if you directed that rage at the incredible abuse and violation of human rights (Abu Ghraib, Gitmo, etc) of the previous administration.

          1. AKMark

            I am honest enough to tell you that I have little to no concern for rights violations outside the US, particularly for those reasonably suspected of being our enemies. My kids went to war in 2002 and one is in the Army in Iraq this very minute.

            Yet despite that being a 'shooting war', our soldiers are bound by more restrictions dealing with Iraquis than our DHS is dealing with US Citizens.

            This is a violation of our right to travel, our right against unreasonable search and seizure, as well as the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment.

            I'm sorry this fact escapes you.

            If the excuse for this search is that we have reduced privacy in an airport, how much more reduced is privacy walking down the street? Will we next be subjected to roving scanner trucks and forced to submit under penalty of arrest or lawsuit?

            Any logic that defends electronic strip searches because you are in an airport or boarding a plane must also, logically, extend to interstate trains, buses, and ferries. From that point how far is it, really, to strip checkpoints for ANY interstate travel?

            And, to not miss the original point, it is being done with the express permission and direction of Barack Obama, who can stop this abuse with a phone call.

          2. SorosBot

            I'm sorry, I accidentally clicked the thumbs up; that's why this racist has undeserved 2p now. Anyway, for having "little to no concern for human rights violations outside the US", please go fuck yourself with a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it, evil shithead.

          3. AKMark

            Maybe the theme I'm missing is to decide a meaning regardless of what is said. Are you attacking me because I'm white, or because I'm wearing a uniform?

            There was exactly nothing in my post regarding race. Nothing at all. Race does not have any, at all, relationship to national borders.

            You might, had you the IQ and education, call me an American, a chauvinist ( no, look it up), or even a patriot (a person who supports his own nation), none of which have a derogatory meaning.

            There is little to no racism in my family. Both my grandkids are mixed race.

            I guess honesty has no place here. As for being less concerned with rights outside the US, there is nothing amiss child. We can't really fight fires elsewhere while our own home is burning.

          4. SorosBot

            It's read right in – those who think the torture of people is A-OK if they are Muslims are generally racist.

            I could not call you a patriot, because you hate the Constitution and thus America. You cannot justify fucking torture and then justifiably claim to be a patriot, or even a decent human being. If you actually cared about human rights violations, then you should be outraged by them being carried out by orders of the US government. But no, you are just an idiot who cares about violations of freedom if you are effected and blames Obama for the crimes of predecessor.

          5. AKMark

            I will try to type more slowly, maybe that will help you understand.

            I do not, by any stretch, 'hate' the Constitution. I recognize it as imperfect, but I also understand that it is the Constitution of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Again, that seems to have escaped you.

            I believe that we need to first and foremost fix the problems domestically. If and when that is done we may have energy to solve the problems in the rest of the world.

            And (this is typed very slowly for you), NOTHING that was done by any administration before Obama is responsible for the violations that DHS is pressing now. The Obama administration is either in control of the Obama cabinet or it is not.

            Please, without the stupidity of your other replies, explain how the actions of DHS in the last six months are a result of the 'crimes of predecessor' and NOT the Obama administration and Obama appointees. I am most curious to learn.

          6. AKMark

            And, again for your education, "Muslim" refers to a member of a religion, it does not imply a race. It is also not a word that appears in any of my posts, nor does ANY reference to race or religion. The commentary that you wish to damn me for is entirely in your mind. Thats shows an awful lot of prejudice.

            Again I ask, it is because I am white, or because I appear in a police uniform that you are so vitriolic in your personal attacks of me?

      2. Negropolis

        My eyes are so tired I thought your post said "Department of Home Depot Security." God only knows how much we need one of those. It'd be more useful than the Dept of Homeland Security, surely.

  21. zhubajie

    Apparently sponsoring political shits and giggles has become the major industry in Iowa, replacing corn and hogs. Good thing I left when I did!

  22. Negropolis

    Why won't a reporter just ask this Sarah woman if she thought Dubyya did a great job as president? There, seeking higher office career ended either way she answers it.

Comments are closed.