Italy’s culture ministry on Friday defended Premier Silvio Berlusconi for giving ancient marble statues in his office replacement body parts, to the horror of art restorers.
The ministry, which is led by a close ally of the premier, said in a statement there’s no cause for alarm: The hand added to Venus and the penis added to Mars are attached by magnets and can be removed without damage.
Just when you think American government is insane, Silvio Berlusconi always has to come and show us up. So there’s your difference between us and our ally: Our prudes like John Ashcroft cover up the boobs on our statues, whereas their legendary pervs like Berlusconi add sexual organs to their statues. [WP via Wonkette operative "Lily E." (you're welcome)]
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Ah, bella Italia, you led us to civilization, to empire , to fascism, almost to communism, to socialized medicine and free education, and now to utter silliness.
"Detachable Penis" must mean something totally different when sung in Italian.
Now that song is stuck in my head, thank you!
I am always in awe to King Missiles' monumental contribution to Western Civilization, Jesus Was Way Cool.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and Berlusconi dropped out of Uranus.
"…sexual assault with a concrete dildo?!"
It never dawned on me until now but Silvio Berlusconi is the Frank Drebin of world leaders.
Well, of course they're going to be detachable. How else could you use them? You should only get worried when he starts to excavate female statues to install the pocket pussies.
Why doesn't he just slash a painting like every other art hater?
It's always about sex with that guy.
To be fair, I've always thought that the Venus de Milo could stand to have a bigger set of hooters.
Detachable implants. This could be good news for plastic surgeons.
Something about a woman being a Mr. Potato Head isn't too attractive to me.
Get older. Mr. Potato Head starts to look better.
TSA approved!
Detachable implants would work best for women travelers.
"You want to check my breasts, TSA dude? [click] [click] Here!"
I love "junk" art.
And to think for all those years it was strictly fingerbanging for those dudes.
and no hand jobs
Well, this should throw off the TSA.
Want moar details so I can criticize moar feercly. Size, shape, clipped, ereckt, flassid, lefty, riitey. Details, damn you Silvio, you damn tease, details! Signed, "Scooter" ps. Pix would be nice :)
Well, I suppose the whole point of the marble-magnetism is mix-n-match.
They've never heard of Velcro?
I'd much prefer to remove my fake genitals with a click than a RRRRRRIIIIIPPPPPP. Just a preference.
Snap-On Tools?
Or snap off.
Wish I had thought of that.
Why stop at adding *one* penis to the statue? A failure of the imagination, Silvio
And Venus could use some marble implants, come to think of it.
Maybe it's glue or mortar holding the magnets in place. Feel better?
Me neither.
Classical Greek statues had tiny penis's (the Greeks thought a btig cock was a sign of uncouthness and barbarity). So I wonder if Sylvio's magic magnetic dildos are the traditional petite classical size or nice and big.
Classical Greek statues had tiny penis's (the Greeks thought a btig cock was a sign of uncouthness and barbarity).
Not because they hurt a lot?
Or because the Greeks were just, well, small?
Essendo Berlusconi un testa di cazzo, non mi stupisce che faccia così.
(trans. Since Berlusconi's a dickhead, it doesn't surprise me that he does this.)
"Magneti cazzo, come funzionano?" -Buffone Pazzo Gruppo Armato di Volontari
Silvio is my favorite zany world leader. He once complained that the scandal around appointing his favorite 18 year old hooker to the the cabinet was caused by the press–until one of his aides reminded him, "Dude, you OWN the press."
That would be great, but I'm not so sure that the Italian populace are any more repulsed by desecration of antiquities than Teabaggers are turned off by assault or patronizing prostitutes when the perps are "our kind of people." There is a strain of sociopathy in Italian culture that lives alongside the Catholic piety. Or at least there used to be, until the emigration to the Jersey Shore.
Nope, it's still very much there. Italy remainds the Louisiana of Europe as far as its politics of corruption are concerned as far as I care.
Um, no objection at all to what you said, but I think it's summarizable as "They're Italians".
Meh. At least one Italian had the good sense to smash him in the face.
Get back to me when an American bloodies George Bush on his book tour.
You gotta get yourself some marble columns.
Berly is the quintessential "Dirty Old Man." I hate that dirtbag with a passion. He's like the Italian Dubya minus everything else about Dubya, of course. In fact, he's nothing like Bush. He's his own special kind of dickishness.
I must respectfully disagree. He's more like Murdoch, after we pass the amendment that allows Kenyans (woops, Aussies) to be Presnit. With, apparently, boatloads of Viagra.
Yes, and he doesn't have the reflexes of Bush either.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/dec/13/silvi…
I attribute this worsening of Silvio to the fact that shot he took to the head last year when that guy bashed him in the face with a trophy.
"The hand added to Venus and the penis added to Mars are attached by magnets and can be removed without damage."
He attached Venus's hand to Mars's penis with magnets? BEST PRIME MINISTER EVER!!!
What's with the whole "can be removed without damage" thing, though? Are the statues on wheels or something, so they can go, "Oh no, a tour group of schoolkids too young for Silvio to hit on! Quick, release the magnets and slide them into the we're-just-close-naked-friends position!"?
In all seriousness, given Berlusconi's age, demographic, and behavior, I wouldn't be surprised if what we have here is an advanced case of syphilitic encephalopathy. Bet his brain is little more than swiss cheese now.
why no photos? WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS???? I want to see the Blingee version
How is it that Silvio still lives when Chico, Groucho, Zeppo and Harpo are dead?
Pix or GTFO
Yet presumably Silvio's own johnson has somehow yet to fall off.
Anybody know if right-wing trolls are magnetic?
No, they are, in fact, the most unattractive of all solids.
are these magical marble magnets that work on stone
Acai Max Cleanse
well if you must have a self-righteous right-winger with imperialist tendencies as your leader, it is far far better to have one that is sexist, frequently in trouble with the law and routinely offends the e.u…
also, better if that leader is a staunch defender of your nation's cheese.
george bush never went to the mat for our cheddar.
ArtNutz
Epic Win!
Silvio adds stuff to a statue…Ashcroft covers a tit. What's wrong with this picture?
"All of them, Katie." All of them.
Foregoing contrary opinions, I'd love to see photos of this.
I am enjoying Berlusconi's increasing troubles in divorce court where the penis seems to be snapped onto Venus' arm instead.
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