MSNBC Suspends Joe Scarborough For Political Contributions

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'Oh, whoops.'When Keith Olbermann was suspended by MSNBC two weeks ago for making campaign contributions, everyone pointed out that Joe Scarborough had done the same thing. But apparently those were contributions MSNBC had approved, whereas they did not know about some new contributions that were dug up by America’s Media Diglett, Politico. So now Scarborough has been suspended for two days too! Hooray! Everything is balanced out now! Everyone on MSNBC has learned their lesson and will never hold a political opinion ever again, unless it’s for ratings. Or else they will face the wrath of getting two days off from work.

“These are bulls — local races that mean nothing to Joe,” the friend told POLITICO. “Anybody who knows Joe’s life wouldn’t be surprised by the fact that these small, local donations were not top-of-mind. Once again, no good deed goes unpunished.

That’s right, kids, you should only give contributions to candidates who mean absolutely nothing to you. If you’re a true pundit, you will never give money to the politicians you actually admire and use your show to try to elect. [Diglett]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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