CLIO BAIT  12:42 pm November 19, 2010

Social Security Ad Was Actually Too Terrible For Sharron Angle To Air

by Jack Stuef


Remember early on in Sharron Angle’s campaign when her staff was only composed of people who had no idea how to run a campaign? This is an ad they made with some elderly volunteers in the desert. Unfortunately, this ad didn’t air, because even Sharron Angle could see how bad and unprofessional (Did or did not Harry Reid vote against declaring English our national lap?) it was.

Yes, the people responsible for this ad were dead serious about it airing on television.

Hmm! Unfortunately, because it didn’t air, these old people will not receive the Emmys they deserve for their performances. And also those Angle staffers left them in the vans for a few hours with the windows up and they all died in the hot car, probably. And also Harry Reid was elected despite the fact he is literally a teenage illegal-immigrant gangbanger WEARING MULTIPLE BANDANAS. [Casey & Heather thanks to Wonkette operative "Edward O."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 137 comments }

Jerri November 19, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Seventeen lunatics agree: Sharron Angle is a national treasure!

Fare la Volpe November 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Her coming was foretold on the back of the Articles of Confederation.

Negropolis November 20, 2010 at 2:15 am

Win.

revmod November 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

They should have hired these women:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDTZcj8Xink

rocktonsam November 19, 2010 at 1:51 pm

All treasures should be buried and found by another generation.

BornInATrailer November 19, 2010 at 2:26 pm

One KitH point for you.

revmod November 19, 2010 at 2:32 pm

I want all the KitH points. Wait until some Senator freaks out about losing his pen – I'm going to be all up in that!

Terry November 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Oh, bless their hearts.

SorosBot November 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I've seen better acting in my old grade schools' annual first grade Christmas play.

Not_So_Much November 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm

In spite of the uplifting music, it didn't seem to be very good…

Chet Kincaid November 19, 2010 at 1:15 pm

How old are you? Maybe that was them!

SorosBot November 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Mid-30s, much too young for these folks. Surely there's got to some geriatrics with acting talent in Nevada who are either wingers or desperate enough to take money from Angle, though.

Oblios_Cap November 19, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Teatards always get "projecting your voice" confused with "screaming incoherently".

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

But how did Casey and Heather vote? Obviously for the buffet.

MLHencken November 19, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Judging by her picture, I think she voted for Applebee's.

Fare la Volpe November 19, 2010 at 12:53 pm

That Olive Garden is just too un-American.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Early and often.

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm

They air on faux noise in Vegas. The math, it is not hard.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Now doesn't that just explain everything, bless their hearts.

CapeClod November 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Is this another promo for "The Walking Dead"?

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Walking Brain Dead, actually.

Fare la Volpe November 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

This is the worst episode of Golden Girls ever.

revmod November 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

I was going to go with X-files, only for the soundtrack. Yours is better.

BornInATrailer November 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Cocoon 3 is even worse than Cocoon: The Return.

SheriffRoscoe November 19, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Oh, the shtupping that would have followed, given that were true. Thanks, Fare, for the imagery.

user-of-owls November 19, 2010 at 5:27 pm

I wouldn't give you a thumbs down with Bea Arthur's thumb. So, thumbs up it is!

DahBoner November 19, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Ironic, isn't it?

This was an ad featuring people WEARING MULTIPLE BANDANAS..

For a target audience that WEARS MULTIPLE CONFEDERATE FLAGS.

MLHencken November 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

This is good news for….

oh, screw it.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm

However, this would make an excellent ad for death panels.

slappypaddy November 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm

what a subtle bandit that mild-mannered harry reid turned out to be. he looted all the money these poor folks were going to use for acting classes.

YasserArraFeck November 19, 2010 at 1:17 pm

You haven't heard the interesting and poignant back story – these are the last surviving extras from Cecil B. DeMille's 1923 silent epic "The Ten Commandments". Gigs like these don't come around every day (in fact, not since 1923)…."must be able to emote while wandering in the desert"…a pretty specialized skill set, you'd agree.

slithytovesss November 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm

There is nothing anyone can say about this video that is funnier than the video itself. The end.

Radiotherapy November 19, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Are you new around here?

natoslug November 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Wow. That's the first time I ever thought "hmmm . . . I'd rather be watching Gigli."

StillGoinGreen November 19, 2010 at 1:31 pm

You could go to tlc.com and watch trailers for "Sarah Palin's Alaska". I heard it works better than Temazepam and Vodka.

freakishlywrong November 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I guess long-untouched junk turns you in to a shouty old white person wandering the desert cursing Harry Reid.

Oblios_Cap November 19, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Moses?

el_donaldo November 19, 2010 at 12:57 pm

It's like a post-apocalyptic sci-fi! "What do we do now?!?!" they ask.

Hmm. I recommend cannibalism. It's the only way. That middle-aged flesh is going to be stringy, but there's lots of juicy fat. Then the last survivor should suicide by shotgun due to the overwhelming guilt etc.

elviouslyqueer November 19, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Meh. Needs moar "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I actually spent a couple of days in the Inland Empire area just before the mid term elections. I met olds like that.

It was then I understood why Meth was so popular out there.

CapeClod November 19, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Did you happen to bump into Ken Layne?

horsedreamer_1 November 19, 2010 at 1:15 pm

"bump"

ManchuCandidate November 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Saw a crazy guy in sunglasses muttering to himself. I yelled "KEN!" He just looked at me and walked away.

MoeDeLawn November 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm

I wonder if this was instead of sitting through the 90 minute spiel about condos to get the gift certificate to Waffle House?

SheriffRoscoe November 19, 2010 at 1:01 pm

"WE. LIKE. ROY! WE. LIKE. ROY!"

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 1:48 pm

My money was on the tiger!

arcane_allusion November 19, 2010 at 1:01 pm

I bet Kevin MacLeod is rethinking letting just anyone use his music royalty free now.

neiltheblaze November 19, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Though, you have to admit it was a stroke of brilliance to have the black guy shout "Sharon Angle was RIGHT!!1!" The only thing better would be to have a Latino shout "The Messicans are dangerous!!!!"

SheriffRoscoe November 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm

"And he turned in a notable performance, having to carry the weight of the rest of the ensemble on his shoulders."

Damn. I've always wanted to say that, while pretending to write reviews in the NYT.

Mindblank November 19, 2010 at 3:55 pm

A vision passed in front of my eyes of a Teabagger shouting, "The people are revolting!"

SayItWithWookies November 19, 2010 at 1:04 pm

So why did she kill this ad? I'm assuming it's because there wasn't enough screaming and confusion to reach her target demographic.

anniegetyourfun November 19, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Well, I was thinking that maybe a bunch of people walking through a manmade ravine looked too much like illegal immigrants, but then I realized that none of them were Asian.

CrunchyKnee November 19, 2010 at 1:04 pm

The book was a lot better.

metamarcisf November 19, 2010 at 1:05 pm

I swear, if this had been shot in black and white, it could've passed for the zombie scene from "Night of the Living Dead".

OneYieldRegular November 19, 2010 at 1:10 pm

"Night of the Dead Living."

Radiotherapy November 19, 2010 at 1:22 pm

*Spoiler Alert* *Spoiler Alert* *Spoiler Alert*
The black guy becomes the sensible hero, and then the redneck racists shoot him in the end.

OneYieldRegular November 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Figuratively speaking, I think this was the plot of the most recent U.S. Senate race in South Carolina.

GOPCrusher November 19, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Thanks for the heads up. I almost read your post.

YasserArraFeck November 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Bad location scouting – if they'd filmed it in the local Walmart parking lot, they could've have a few of the Olds on scooters, then they would have had true representation of Sharron's constituency. How can you have a gathering of teabaggers without a few old fucks on scooters?

OneDollarJuana November 19, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I think that building in the background is where they make the Soylent Green.

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Good. Close enough we won't have to give these old farts a ride.

SorosBot November 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Based on the acting quality, I think they filmed it in front of an assistant living facility from which they just grabbed residents at random (except for the Mexican ones obviously).

anniegetyourfun November 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm

This is pretty much like the plays that our local retirement facility puts on to raise money for new wheelchair ramps. Only our seniors have the good sense to end their skits by lip syncing to a Miley Cyrus song.

horsedreamer_1 November 19, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Another place where Chuck Todd's quip on "The Daily Grind", that he & his "wife" are using "Potty in the U.S.A." as an impetus to teaching their daughter to use the toilet, would be appropriate.

genxr November 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm

Dang, if I'd seen this, I would've voted for Angle! Why didn't the lamestream media report on this box in the desert? Or at least off Desert Inn Road, easily 5 minutes from the nearest breakfast buffet.

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 1:58 pm

The majority of rural Nevadans DID vote for her. If not for the relatively enlightened parts of Clark and Washoe Counties and Carson City, she would be John Ensign's new pal. As it turned out, look for her to mount a challenge to him in the primary.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm

That'll be even more fun!

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Couldn't agree more! She'll win, obvs, and a dick vote is a dick vote regardless of the gender of the voter.

DangerHelvetica November 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm

AHRGHM LERKING FOR IT AHRGM LERKING FOR IT

Buzz Feedback November 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm

Strategery.

refudiatedness November 19, 2010 at 1:15 pm

In the unedited version there is a great scene when Guffman finally shows up.

thebeatgoeson08 November 20, 2010 at 8:07 am

"I hate you and your ass face!" Love that movie!

GeorgiaBurning November 19, 2010 at 1:18 pm

"Incompetech.com" produced it?? Man, these idiots just make their own gravy!

user-of-owls November 19, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Hoo hoo! Imma stealing that one!

problemwithcaring November 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm

I can't stop laughing. I'm in tears and close to getting fired. Thank you.

Beowoof November 19, 2010 at 1:19 pm

you know these are the same people that get a check every month and have most of their health care paid for. Too bad its in Nevada where the slot machine investments tank right after they get the check.

anniegetyourfun November 19, 2010 at 1:23 pm

You know what? I'm sure that there IS a video of it somewhere. But it's not on YouTube, as of yet.

smokefilledroommate November 19, 2010 at 1:23 pm

That's what you get when you pull grandma from her favorite Double Diamond Deluxe machine and tell her you'll pay her twenty bucks..

seppdecker November 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

20 grandma whore diamonds!

ChurchofRealism November 19, 2010 at 1:23 pm

and they forgot why they were there, in the desert, and perished, the end.

HELisforHEL November 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

I just love a happy ending! Yay!

MinAgain November 19, 2010 at 1:24 pm

If it was too bad for Angle to air it, then I'm afraid my psyche is entirely too delicate for me to watch it.

elviouslyqueer November 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Oh, but you must! FORCE YOURSELF.

HELisforHEL November 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Totally agree. It's worth the momentary pain!

Serolf_Divad November 19, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Kinda surprised not to see any box-outs or checkerboard fade-ins, since this was obviously made with a cell-phone camera and Windows Moviemaker.

(p.s. I wonder how long it took them to find that one black guy)

4TheTurnstiles November 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm

ever seen _Bubba Ho-Tep_?

GOPCrusher November 19, 2010 at 4:13 pm

That has to be the funniest worst movie ever made.

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 1:55 pm

According to the reich-wingers here in Nevaduh, teh blacks were flown here by FEMA following Katrina. Not even kidding.

Lascauxcaveman November 19, 2010 at 2:57 pm

But not THAT black guy. He's probably a retired Army sgt settled down on a Nevada ranchette somewhere, after having been based at desert military installations all his life.

Probably a decent guy in person. Lifelong government employee with a generous government pension. Enjoys golf. Hates paying taxes and hates socialism.

Horrible actor.

binarian November 19, 2010 at 1:27 pm

I just made the mistake of viewing this. My God. These people wouldn't make the 7th grade drama club.

Radiotherapy November 19, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Some douchebag actually gets credit at the end for the "music".
It's a Casio, Warm Steel Pad Fade.

seppdecker November 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

That's going on his resume when he applies to the Nevada GOP for an endorsement to run for State School Board.

Once he's there, he'll vote to cut all funds for music education and have his revenge on those elitists, with their notes and their timing and their theories. Let the Eagle Sore!!1!

SenileAgitation November 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm

And the tune is called "Right Behind You". Some sort of Death stalker allusion? Or perhaps some warning about the GOP gay agenda?

kittylittr November 19, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Must. Find. Mexican. Brains.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 19, 2010 at 1:31 pm

The olds voted for people who will eliminate their Social Security and Medicare.

They think they're acting, but it's really practice for the rest of their days.

Have fun dying in the desert sun, you stupid, miserable, old bigots!
~

SheriffRoscoe November 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm

The anti-Socialism candidate made a teevee ad centering on the most Socialist aspect of American society, and how she blames her opponent for trashing it.

Oh the stupid, it hurts.

Radiotherapy November 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I can't wait for the sequel. You know, the one where she fixes Social Security by giving it to Wall Street.

Also coming soon, The 2nd Amendment Remedies…..

mrblifil November 19, 2010 at 1:35 pm

That single take shot was longer than the opening for Touch of Evil.

kittylittr November 19, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Needs more crane.

elviouslyqueer November 19, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Also, Casey & Heather = Mike & Molly Lite?

SheriffRoscoe November 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

We've wondered how a clueless dingbat like Jan Brewer gets elected. Wonder no more.

Fare la Volpe November 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Odd. They're in the desert, but not one headless corpse to be seen. Hmm.

PsycWench November 19, 2010 at 2:26 pm

At first I thought that was what they were looking for, but then they found that box.

MistaEko November 19, 2010 at 1:40 pm

I'm confused. Wasn't Angle's whole campaign advocating for dismantling social security and letting the olds fend for themselves in the wilderness?

PublicLuxury November 19, 2010 at 3:13 pm

That's why it never aired and the olds are wandering in the wilderness without their medication

carlgt1 November 19, 2010 at 3:19 pm

which is the real reason this never aired, not because of the Hollywood production standards…

JustPixelz November 22, 2010 at 8:34 am

This seems like a perfectly good solution to Social Security funding: Tell the olds the money is in one of the many treasure chests you can find out in in the Nevada desert. Just keep looking. Even if only a few dozen fall for it voluntarily go, it will help.

anniegetyourfun November 19, 2010 at 1:46 pm

What's truly amazing is that this ad was considered to awful because of PRODUCTION VALUE.

HipHop0Potamus November 19, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Would have been infinitely better had they yelled out "Where's the Beef?" upon opening the box.

jim89048 November 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm
mavenmaven November 19, 2010 at 1:48 pm

This video definitely supports funding for a critical area of biomedical research:
-What turns on the white shoe/white pants gene in older people?
-Is there a way to reverse this inevitable tragedy facing all of us?

sarjo November 19, 2010 at 1:56 pm

It's like buff youngs wearing revealing clothes to show off their hot bods; in this case, it's continent olds showing off their astonishing failure to shit in their pants/down into their shoes.

SecretMuslin November 19, 2010 at 1:53 pm

So THIS is the threshold something has to meet to be too fucked up, even for Sharon Angle. Duly noted.

frailamerica November 19, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Old people are the worst.

donner_froh November 19, 2010 at 2:13 pm

The fat guy who opened the trust fund box and found the message was barely able to bend far enough to pick it up. He probably keeled over from a stroke on the way back to the van.

Barrelhse November 19, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Jesus, that was beautiful… I'm gettin' all misty.

Chet Kincaid November 19, 2010 at 2:21 pm

This has the production values of a bad Southern Baptist Rapture Scare Flick.

widestanceroman November 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

It tested much better once they cut the angry black man's lines.

BornInATrailer November 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Why did I find that arousing?

lumpenprole November 19, 2010 at 2:43 pm

It's kinda like a Beckett play.

A lifeless desert, concrete. A box.
Dry heat

A crowd of Arizona Olds centerstage wobble forward

OLDS 1
Guys, it's gotta be here somewhere.

OLDS 2
I'm looking for it!

OLDS 3
We've worked our whole lives for this!

PublicLuxury November 19, 2010 at 3:12 pm

An evil gang of Abbie Hoffman wannabes. No wonder NASA wants to shoot grandma into space to live on Mars.

Wadisay November 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm

In fairness, the Angle campaingn didn't use this on account of, they used the "Hitler discovers his lockbox has been opened" ripoff.

carlgt1 November 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm

wow, old people really suck! it sounds like "Harry Reid — slowly I turn — step by step" from the Three Stooges. oh damn, if I know the Three Stooges – I must be old too! where's my social security!

actually — the reason Angle probably declined this is she doesn't want Social Security at all, right, as it's all communist welfare…

Mindblank November 19, 2010 at 3:58 pm

So, was that worse than the Demon Sheep ad? I'm torn.

starfanglednut November 19, 2010 at 4:26 pm
user-of-owls November 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Panda porn or GTFO

kittylittr November 19, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Actually, I thought this was a commercial against Arizona's immigration law, showing old people wandering in the desert, wondering wheir their gardeners, housekeepers and caregivers all went, and who would prepare and serve their next meal.

Radiotherapy November 19, 2010 at 6:55 pm

While you're at it you stupid Olds, why don't you vote for Bristol like 500 X's apiece.

Office_39 November 19, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Outtake from Cowboys & Aliens. The soundtrack was pretty funny.

AddHomonym November 20, 2010 at 12:29 am

Too much sexual tension is why they pulled it, right?

Negropolis November 20, 2010 at 2:29 am

I don't know about you guys, but I think they were REALLY looking for Ted Binions silver, out there, and happened to stumble across the lockbox. Surely, Ted had more silver than the government has SS.

BTW, anyone who's ever spent any time out in Vegas knows that this was shot on some dirty empty lot behind an Albertson's. I'm sure after they got done they were treated to comps in the Albertsons since they have gambling in their fuckin' grocery stores. Let me tell how bizarre that is.

Office_39 November 20, 2010 at 5:12 am

Thanks for the 411. The building in the background kind of looked like a prison to me. What a messed up place, no wonder the Corleone family had so many problems there.

AddHomonym November 20, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Thumbs up for the Ted Binion reference!

Negropolis November 21, 2010 at 1:54 am

Vegas is a strange, strange land…

aious November 20, 2010 at 3:16 pm

What a great ad

In depth
To the point
Convincing

They should run it on Fox News hourly

spooked911 November 21, 2010 at 12:08 pm

That was AWESOME! Plus, I liked the lady with the big boobies.

Dr_pangloss November 21, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Wow that was bad.

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