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Nancy Pelosi Less Popular Than George Bush, Explosive Diarrhea

Intelligent woman, boo! Orange Weirdo, yay!

  • Is Nancy Pelosi the most reviled woman in American History? And is it true that Nancy Pelosi likes to bludgeon baby seals to death, with her Gavel? Yes, according to a new poll! (You thought you could escape these horrendous “polls” just because the midterms are long over, didn’t you? Aw. That’s adorable.) Huge nerd Nate Silver has the details: “The average score for Ms. Pelosi was 30 percent favorable and 55 percent unfavorable, giving her a net favorability rating of negative-25. This was the worst score of any politician in the study by some margin.” This means that Nancy Pelosi is less popular than George Bush, Dick Cheney and urinary tract infections. What did this poor woman do to deserve all this scorn? Did she pass legislation? That sounds like something Satan would do. Anyway, who are the most popular political hacks in America? The Clintons. The goddamned Clintons. (Except for Chelsea, and that cat, “Tube Socks” or whatever.) [NYT]
  • We will triumph in the mountains and caves of Afghanistan by deploying … tanks. Sure! [Fox News]
  • The TSA is trying to convince everyone that “the TSA is not as bad you think they are.” Just one of many thousands of examples: The TSA never downloads Porno Scanner porno pix to its spank bank zip drive, because Porno Scanners aren’t even capable of saving images. Wait, what’s this? [CNN]
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About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

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166 comments

  1. Serolf_Divad

    The company of M1 Abrams tanks, each weighing in at 68 tons and propelled by jet engine, are equipped with 120mm guns that can destroy a house from more than a mile away

    Why do I suspect that the Fox News reporter had to lean back and smoke a cigarette after writing that.

    Meanwhile, the Defense Department said Thursday Afghans may not be ready to assume full responsibility for security in their country by the target date of 2014 and some U.S. forces may need to remain beyond that date.

    Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell called the date "an aspirational goal" and not a deadline

    Yeah, an "aspirational goal," Kinda like the Mercedes 500 SL a convenience store clerk eyes in the parking lot. And we'll probably be waiting as long to get out of Afhanistan as our lowly clerk will be waiting for his Mercedes.

    1. BornInATrailer

      Nothing says counter to a loosely organized group of guerilla fighters that utilize high explosives and don't mass in large formations like "tanks."

      Hey, it worked for the Soviets. Oh wait..

    2. donner_froh

      Hey, those tanks are just the thing for stopping Soviet armored divisions pouring through the Fulda Gap and into the North German Plain.

      Why not send them a theater of combat that is completely inhospitable to their main function?

      1. SorosBot

        No wheeled or treaded vehicles are good for the Afghanistan mountains, the Army needs some AT-ST and AT-AT walkers.

        1. Serolf_Divad

          Yeah, but the Obama administration would probably have to go to Dick Cheney to get them and there's no guarantee he'd oblige.

    3. justkillmenow

      Will those tanks be available in the states soon? We could take out entire subdivisions of foreclosed, empty homes in a flash!

    4. ShaveTheWhales

      Jesus. They're already pre-weaseling on the recently weaseled (and oh so quietly announced) date shift from (ha ha) 2011 to 2014?

      I guess when the only industry you've got left is military gear, everything looks like a war.

  2. CapeClod

    She turns color and has a reptile tongue. You try staying popular with those unseemly personal attributes.

  3. Lucidamente1

    And when those who rated Speaker Pelosi unfavorably were asked why they did so, 37% said "Because Glenn Beck told me she's evil," 28% said "Because I'm a retard," 21% said "Obamacare Socialism Guvmint Takeover," and the rest said "Why's her first name 'Speaker?'"

    1. PsycWench

      I thought, based on some of the signs in the trailer parks around here, that her first name was "Fire".

      1. Serolf_Divad

        Exactly: I mean it's not like we didn't just come off an election in which the opposition's entire effort was focused on demonizing Nancy Pelosi. I'd expect her numbers to climb over the next few months while the GOP leadership slowly sinks.

        1. trampndirtdown

          It's not just the midterm election Pelosi has been a swear word to the right since she became speaker.

        2. Terry

          True.

          Hillary Clinton's popularity struck a low point when she was the GOP'er's primary target. Now that they are aiming elsewhere, her poll numbers are more realistic.

          1. Terry

            Yes, but probably true. As more time goes by, the more I'm convinced that Hillary was on to the truth when she said there was a vast rightwing conspiracy. It's too coincidental that all the GOP pols, the Fox News folks, and a bunch of the conservative columnists in general all start using the same catch phrases and pushing the same points pretty much simultaneously.

          2. anniegetyourfun

            I remember how outraged people were when she said that, but my crazy Russian grandma used to get letters in the mail from that freak in Arkansas who REALLY hated the Clintons – it detailed all kinds of black helicopter things that Hils was apparently in charge of. My nana absolutely believed it.

          3. SorosBot

            It's not just a theory; since the early Clinton years Grover Norquist has held a meeting of conservative politicians and media figures every Wednesday to decide on what talking points to push for the next week.

    2. Not_So_Much

      She may be a tough bitch in Congress, but I'll be she's a demon in bed. Strap in and hold the fuck on!

    3. ShaveTheWhales

      From that poll, 86% of Republicans viewed her unfavorably, 8% favorably.

      Sounds to me like somebody's been doing her job. I figure that 8% were Democrats who were just fucking with the pollsters.

  4. EdFlintstone

    BECAUSE OF T.E.A.-TAXED ENOUGH ALREADY!!! What? The democrats lowered my taxes? Hang on, I'll think of something.

    1. Negropolis

      Also, being a woman is hella unpopular, unless your against things like funding for rape kits and shit.

    1. Rotundo_

      And they're such handy vehicles for getting around in. You'd think someone in the pentagon would have remembered what a few scrawny and resourceful folks can do with large rocks and RPG's. There should be enough T-74 main battle tank carcasses sitting around over there to be a clue.

      1. SorosBot

        More tanks destroyed means the Army needs to buy more, which means more money for defense contractors. Everybody wins! (Er, except the dead soldiers, and the taxpayer).

  5. Canmon

    When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
    An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.

    1. GOPCrusher

      You would have to imagine that someone would finally figure out, that nothing good can come of making war in Afghanistan.

  6. horsedreamer_1

    I believe Bill & Hillary are experiencing what policy experts refer to as the "Big Yellow Taxi Theory".

  7. MildMidwesterner

    People are making much to big of a deal out of these body scanners. Has the American public seen itself naked recently? Easily less than 2% of the population is bone-able. The rest need not worry about their fuzzy gray TSA image being "liked" on the Facebook.

      1. ttommyunger

        I hear about them, mostly from chubby women, but have never, ever met one or even heard of a real one, with a name and all. Unicorn for Porkers, my friend; just Unicorns for Porkers.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Maybe it's being from 'Sconsin, but I see plenty of "girthy" women with dweebish looking men, & even a smaller number of "rotund" men with twiggy looking women.

  8. HedonismBot

    Off topic (but, sorry, much more relevant to me than any of soap drama BS.)
    My company is shopping for a new insurance provider because our current gang of Satan-worshipping baby sacrificers upped premiums by 34 percent.
    Cue Tea Party "this is all because of the Obamacare" shrieking in 5..4..3..2..
    God bless this messed up country and its soulless profiteering overlords.

    1. HistoriCat

      Sad yet eminently predictable. Premiums are going to keep going up and insurance companies can spend years blaming the increases on "Obamacare." I'm sure there are technical reasons why most of the big changes don't kick in until 2014 but it's a suicidal time-frame politically.

      1. HedonismBot

        Yeah. I think I'm seeing a pattern emerging here. The companies bought the Dems so they could get the mandate, and now they bought the Republicans (perhaps "re-financed" their investment in the Repubs) so they could get rid of the more financially unpalatable reforms that went with it.
        We are screwed. Americans, you are finally, offically, completely, unredeemably on your own.

    2. natoslug

      If you were fortunate enough to have Anthem as your provider, you were able to watch your premiums skyrocket well before "Obamacare." I'm pretty sure their rate increases are based on a social experiment, or maybe just the phase of the moon.

      1. jim89048

        Yes, lucky me indeed. Just received an awesome 2 stars out of 5 stars on the scale of good vs evil for PPO's.

      2. easynewz

        social experiment like the Dan Akroyd / Eddie Murphy film 'Trading Places' perhaps? I envision Randal and Mortimer betting 1 (one) dollar that they could get a Black man in the Oval Office and still crush the hopes and dreams of us progressive libtards… Sigh

  9. PsycWench

    I remember when Hillary Clinton was one of the most disliked women in America. Hang on Nancy!!! Your time may yet come.
    Uh, Sarah? Your time came and went. You can go back to Alaska now.

    1. Lucidamente1

      True that. And don't forget Michelle Obama, whom Fox and friends tried to paint as the second coming of Angela Davis and whose favorability rating is now off the charts.

    2. CivicHoliday

      She IS back in Alaska. The grifting gravy train followed her there with her brand new "lemme pretend I do this outdoorsy stuff all the time even thought really I spent most of my mayor and governor days in the salon getting my hair teased" show

  10. charlesdegoal

    The other three with 50 percent or higher negatives are Bush, Cheney and Palin. Tough company for poor Nancy.

      1. Serolf_Divad

        I was wondering who was going to bring that up first. I wasn't going to be the first to admit to watching and remembering that movie.

      2. genxr

        Thank you. I was trying to remember the title to some long ago childhood memory of a saturday afternoon movie.

    1. charlesdegoal

      It is a well-known fact that the Soviets, for security reasons, would not allow their troops to have maps. This may have contributed to the failure of their tanks to know where the fuck they were going.

      1. V572625694

        I don't know — the wedding crashers flying those heart-and-mind-winning drones are sitting in trailers at Nellis AFB near Vegas, baby.

    2. LeAlbatross

      "Yes, but these are 'Merican tanks, Dammit. "

      Jesus Christ- it's like nobody reads history. What the Hell is a tank going to do in mountainous country? Or am I out of touch with geography again?

        1. LeAlbatross

          No, I got that within 20 minutes of their (Fox's) founding. But I was wondering what the *Pentagon* was thinking. Maybe they should phone their opposite numbers in the Kremlin to talk with them…or just bloody well play a game of Risk…

  11. freakishlywrong

    I like Nancy. Could it be the 24/7 hysteria-a-palooza known as cable news, aka "the librul media" pushing these kinds of polls and basically engaging in character assassination? When you think about it there are 3, yes, 3 known lefties on our supposed news stations. So people not knowing they got tax cuts in the Recovery Act is Obama's fault, and people irrationally hating on an effective, (albeit female), speaker who consistently passes legislation that benefits them is HER fault. Whadda country.

    1. easynewz

      In my fantasies Hopey tells Robert Gibbs to just take a vacation for the rest of the year and does the daily WH press briefing his fine self. Just to see the wingnuts' heads explode.

      And if the preznit is reading Wonkette right now, three words, sir: Thanksgiving Recess appointments. Over 100 federal judges still waiting?

      PS: Nancy has bigger 'cajones' than all the fracking 'blue dogs' combined. Also.

  12. HELisforHEL

    The damn Pelosi, with her being effective and all. How dare she?

    O/T but I have to say it–that pic of Mr. Stayin' Alive Cheney Death Thing totally creeps me out. It's far scarier than the slaughterhouse ad (that pic just looks like something my Pennsylvania Dutch relatives would have in a jar in the kitchen).

    1. trampndirtdown

      If they hate Nancy for being effective then why do they hate Harry?

      Oh, and is Barbara Pennsylvania Dutch cuz the thing in her jar is pretty gross too.

      1. ShaveTheWhales

        They don't hate Harry, they just throw him into the slogan between Nance and Bamz to make an evil troika.

        Evidence: he did get re-elected, despite a pretty heavy (haha) incidence of Teabageers in teh Nevada.

  13. chickensmack

    Gotta be national versus local, because Pelosi hammer-fisted her Republican opponent for her House seat by 66%.

    1. genxr

      That's because SF residents actually know her, as opposed to the Republican caricature of her that most of the country sees portrayed in Rove's TV ads.

    2. easynewz

      That makes the stoopid bus Michael Steele has been touring the country with look all that much more inefective. Bwahaha

      Edited: Maybe we should send Mr. Steele and his 'Fire Pelosi!' bus to Afghanistan; just about as much RNC influence as Guam there.

  14. harry_palmer

    Not only did we just see an election in which the entire GOP campaign was "Fire Pelosi," but If Bush and especially Cheney had had 30% favorability at the end of their 2nd term they would have gotten nosebleeds from the sudden increase in altitude.

  15. SorosBot

    Well it's not like the media has been constantly telling Americans that they hate Nancy Pelosi even when most people knew nothing about her ever since she became speaker in a self-fulfilling prophecy or anything.

    1. freakishlywrong

      I loved, loved her response to that chip off the ole' blockhead, Luke Russert when he asked her about her low poll numbers. To paraphrase: "Listen you little snot, see how high you'd poll if you had $83,000 million spent against you in negative ads. Kindly please to fuck yourself". Well, that's what I heard anyway.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Knowing that people like Tim & Luke Russert are fans, I really can't muster any sympathy for the Buffalo Bills, nor the majority of their partisans stuck in Buffalo.

        Also: it's easy to root for a team when you're chilling in the District (cough, Russerts, cough), perched at the Rotted Ivory Tower of the Brookings Institute (Easterbrook), or getting blown hourly by interns in Bristol (Chris Berman). Try doing any of that at the Starbucks catty-corner from the Canisius campus.

  16. V572625694

    Bringing the M1s to the Afriganistan is all about Army careerism. Tank driving is a career field in the Army with a long history and lore, Patton and all that. They've had to pull the tankers out of their tanks in the current contretemps over there, and tankers don't like that. So now they can get their $80M dreadnaughts stuck in crevasses and party on!

    1. HistoriCat

      You can't spend big bucks on these things and then not use them. Someone might begin to question whether they are worth the expense.

      1. V572625694

        Didja see Sal Giunta on Colbert last night? Maybe they're coaching him, but they sure picked the right guy. Dude's awesomely modest.

  17. PsycWench

    If Dick Cheney began working at TSA, would their ratings go up or down? Or would this be a sign of an impending apocalypse?

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  19. NorthStarSpanx

    My congressman told me that he got along with EVERYBODY in the House except Pelosi. Hmmmmm, maybe it IS teh sexism that Palin keeps talkin about?

  20. Oblios_Cap

    The Clintons and Explosive Diarrhea are pretty much the same thing in my book. I'll bet their Family patriarch was a losing British general whose family waited a little over 200 years to come back and fuck over the Revolutionaries.

    1. user-of-owls

      Bill's family tree? I'm thinking less British general and more British camp follower exacting revenge for the chlamydia she got from one of G. Washington's strays.

  21. johnnyzhivago

    Stop the librul snickering about those tanks!

    They can drive up to an Afghan wedding, deliver a present, offer good wishes and THEN blow it up.

    Try that with a drone.

    1. kenlayisalive

      I just bought a gross, and I didn't even realize why. At lease I'll look good for the TSA.

      Wait, do we still have to go through Porno scanners AND take our shoes off?!

  22. user-of-owls

    "Karzai To US: Tanks, But No Tanks"

    Looks like the NY Daily News headline writer got an unexpected three day weekend.

    1. Serolf_Divad

      Think of how much money we could save if we just combined TSA screenings and regular doctor's appointments. I can't wait till the screener cups my balls and asks me to turn my head and cough while a long line of people watches, clothing in hand, awaiting their turn.

  23. slithytovesss

    A misleading comparison. It's a little known fact that the popularity of explosive diarrhea is on the rise now that TSA is getting closer to cavity searches before every flight.

  24. PabaBritannica

    And then put that stream on Comedy Central every night at 10:30. Sure beats listening to unfunny brotastic Tosh.0 talk about videos of dogs fighting squirrels.

  25. PabaBritannica

    Poor Heath Shuler, first he loses his starting spot to Gus Ferotte, the Ted McGinley of football, and now he loses to the most unpopular demon woman EVER IN LIFE.

  26. Chet Kincaid

    That "grizzly bear" thing is good ol' American Show Biz Values, like hiring Mexicans and Italians to play Indians in all the old westerns. (Well, the Mexicans at least were mestizo-indigenous.)

  27. weejee

    Where does the hate come from? Mmmm Pelosi is 70 and:
    1. Doesn't need a forklift scooter chair to move around
    2. Wears clothes that weren't bought at Walmart
    3. Doesn't speak word salad
    4. Is a woman with power other than sexytime
    5. Lowered taxes
    6. Passed a bill that will reduce the number of folks getting primary health care at the ER
    7. Helped avoid total economic meltdown
    8. Defeated the privatization sellout of social security
    9. Opposes waterboarding
    10. Supports a federal minimum wage
    11. Has a lifetime 93% ACLU rating
    12. Voted against drilling in ANWR

    Sounds like a dozen roses to me.

      1. GOPCrusher

        And the best part, the Republiklans were all "Fire Pelosi" before the election, then were rooting for the Democrats to keep her on in a leadership position after the election, until they realized that she's still going to be kicking them in the nuts on the House floor every chance she gets.

  28. DemmeFatale

    Hasn't the House always had really low approval ratings? I seem to remember that they were even lower than Bush/Cheney (shudder) a few years ago. Why is this different?

    Oh, and even Dipshit Magoo says that Miller's a baby.

  29. Pop_Socket

    I'm waiting for the first picture of a jihadist holding a rocket launcher standing on a smoldering tank yelling whatever is the Afghani equivalent of "Wolverines!"

  30. neiltheblaze

    I for one love Nancy Pelosi. She's got more guts and spine than any Democratic politician currently breathing – not a high bar, but still. That's why the hopelessly retarded (read: "Republicans") hate her guts – Democrats are supposed to be supine doormats and she breaks the conventional wisdom. She's an actual leader and is willing to risk being disliked.

    Funny, though – her constituents love her. Must be those San Francisco values.

  31. prommie

    The "castrating bitch" meme works well, plays on the deepest insecurities of the kind of person who is so obsessed with his manhood that he, for example, hangs a giant pair of fake testicles on his pickup truck.

  32. mrblifil

    Wait the nude scanner pics can be saved? This is good news for John McCain's craigslist cock shot, which could stand to be pepped up just a tick.

  33. sati_demise

    Now I know that a right wing email chain letter-sent over and over-can influence peoples!

    Even if the statements supposedly put out by Pelosi in those emails is totally fabricated.
    "She might not have said that but we know that is what she thinks"!
    Amirite?

  34. genxr

    What's the popularity rating of Nancy Pelosi in a TSA scanner?

    Come on, am I the only one turned on by a woman with power?

  35. DahBoner

    Betty Currie, Bill Clinton's secretary, adopted Tube Socks.

    When the Clinton's left the White House, they took Buddy the dog and Betty took Socks.

    Socks got the better deal.

    Buddy was hit by a car and killed.

  36. hagajim

    I can't believe that old Nate threw Palin in the mix…she's not a politician, she's a media whore and should be treated with no more respect than Kim Kardashian. That's right – someone needs to piss on her in a video!

  37. uspeak4u

    She's also only 1% more popular than fruitcake, apparently, which is making for many hiLARious and not at all predictable comments this morning by the wits over at Casa Breitbart.

  38. ShaveTheWhales

    I sort of skimmed over this the first time, Riley, but what are the net favorability ratings for urinary tract infections and explosive diarrhea?

  39. aious

    I find a lot of her hate funny b/c most who hate her have no reason…just that she is a Democrat and Fox News told them she sucks

  40. LeAlbatross

    Oh yes. True. About the best thing they can do with those tanks is to crew them with sailors and paint them bright orange; it'll be faster than what they're probably going to do right now.

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