Hmm, maybe this generally apathetic country will actually rise up against something! They really don’t want other people to see their privates; they just want to see other people’s privates. Anyway, if you do any sort of thing to TSA agents right now, you will be famous!
According to police, John A. Christina, 51, admitted to punching the officer after passing through the machine and asking the officer about increased security procedures. The officer replied that he does not normally work in Indianapolis and could not answer the question.
Christina then punched the officer in the chest, police said. The officer, who is normally assigned to the Dayton, Ohio, airport, asked Christina why he punched him.
“I was only kidding with you,” Christina replied.
Yeah, this doesn’t make any sense. Maybe the radiation cooked his brain? [WP]
{ 37 comments }
Doesn't everybody punch people from Dayton?
Or maybe a Post editor changed "tongue-punched the officer's fartbox" to "punched the officer in the chest." It's not like a Richard Cohen column — someone might actually have edited the story.
No. You are confusing "punch" with "lust after".
j/k you would probably hit me with a tire iron if you met me. Most people do.
As a fellow Gem City native, I believe I only got punched after drinking down at Carillon Park or the Shed. Tire irons are reserved for folks from Tipp City.
The following people from Dayton are exempt from punching:
Robert Pollard
Kim and Kelly Deal
Erma Bombeck
Jonathan Winters
Gordon Jump's character from WKRP
The Wright Brothers
…The rest of us are fair game
Dave Chappelle is from nearby Yellow Springs — throw him in just to make sure he does not get collateral damage. Also, isn't the band Guided by Voices from Dayton?
Pollard is GBV, so, yes, he goes first, because he needs the most protection. Chappelle and everyone from out by Antioch exists in a protective haze of pot smoke, so they're fine.
Particularly when in Indian-No-Place. I mean, the guy was asking for it!
Kim Deal, totally way cooler than Frank Black. Just sayin'.
Well, she probably has better weed.
Sorry. Just seeing their names on a list makes it clear they need punchin'.
The Wright Brothers built that first airplane in Dayton. That explains Christina's terrorist fist bump.
Can't wait to take the journey with TLC's new show 'John Christina's Ohio'
Hilarious joke, though. can't wait to use it on my next flight.
Is that it? That's the revolution? Jesus Fuck, people! I expected bloodshed and mayhem and total anarchy. You've totally feminized this thing. Jesus would've gone in there and ripped some heads off and shat down a few random necks, like in the book of Luke. FuckEn liberal fa**ots!
Fo reals, I haven't even gotten to beat a zombie, fuck a fellow officer's wife, nothing!
I still have bullets left, goddammit, I want chaos!
Also, am I now an illegal foreigner? Because I would assume that based on the Axis bank money remittance ad on the right? Wrong kind of brown, Wonkette ad targeter, I only use Sharia Eastern Union money transfers
Yeah, it's over. You missed it? Sorry.
"What did you do during the revolution daddy?"
"Slept through it – sorry."
Jesus Christ, isn't it enough they've got that shitty job and some incompetent dick for a supervisor; now you've got to punch him/her in the bargain? Go punch somebody who deserves it, like Mitch "Turtle Boy" McConnell.
Hey, it comes with the territory. If you don't want to fondle a grown-assed man, don't go to work for the TSA.
I suspect Mitch would like an excuse to fondle grown-ass men. You can bet that hot asian wife of his don't give him the time of day, 'cept maybe on his birthday and Christmas.
Somebody just made it to the top of the Sphincter Search list, for life.
terrorist fist jab maybe?
Good for him.
Now next time aim for the nose, and harder.
Wow, smart move, Mr. Christina (fag, obvs!). Is TSA-assisted suicide the next hula-hoop?
Christian side-hug, Islamic body-touching(stonings).Now TSA tapping(punching)
Well it's only fair. I they are gonna tickle my taint I get at least one free shot. It's what the founders would have wanted.
"The officer, who is normally assigned to the Dayton, Ohio, airport, asked Christina why he punched him."
Yeah, Christina, with your small, feminine, lady hands, why did you… he… punch… … him… … … ?
Just to feel the texture…niiiiice.
It's like the French Revolution in our airports. The PG-17, slow-motion, fairy-tale French Revolution, where Louis and Marie Antoinette's heads are sewn back on, say they've learned their lesson, are restored to the throne and then nothing changes.
No; Lou and Mary never lose their heads in the first place. They are simply and lightly karate chopped about the neck, and are then sent on their way back to the palace.
Fvck Those A-Holes, and the cowardly politicrats that put us all on there leash.
Die M-Effers!
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Their, dammit! See what I mean?!!!!one!
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First off, where the fuck is this that you can punch a guy and he then politely asks you why you punched him? Where I'm from, your punch a man in the chest, you better be expecting a punch back. Instantly. Also.
I have to fly next week- too bad someone like Christian Bale doesn't work for TSA.
Holy smokes! Christine O'Donnell's I Am You spell has started with some minor hiccups: John A Christina
As a result, Cristina is now ranked number four in the cruiser weight division by the WBA, and the TSA agent is number two. Number one is "No Boy."
His name is John and Cristina. I think he's just confused.
If someone was feeling up my junk without pushing dollars into my g-string I would have an overwhelming desire to donkey punch him.
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