SUPPORT THE WAR NOT THE TROOPS  4:48 pm November 17, 2010

AFA: Medal of Honor Only Awarded For Being Gay In the Line of Duty Now

by Jack Stuef

It Gets Better, poor guy.
Yesterday, President Obama awarded the Medal of Honor to Army Staff Sgt. Sal Giunta for putting himself in the line of fire to save two comrades during an ambush in Afghanistan in October 2007. But however much courage it took to do that, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer just cannot get over how gay that was. “I have noticed a disturbing trend in the awarding of these medals, which few others seem to have recognized. We have feminized the Medal of Honor.” Noooooo! That piece of jewelry used to be so butch! According to Fischer, the Medal is now only awarded to soldiers for saving lives above the call of duty. “Not one has been awarded for inflicting casualties on the enemy. Not one.” Never mind, of course, that Giunta actually did shoot some guys, killing one, who were dragging away his wounded comrade.

From the AP:

Two wounded Americans still lay up ahead. Giunta and his comrades regrouped and threw grenades, using the explosions as cover to charge ahead.

One of the wounded soldiers had been shot twice in the leg. As someone tended his wounds, Giunta sprinted forward under enemy fire to the crest of a hill.

“There he saw a chilling sight: the silhouettes of two insurgents carrying the other wounded American away,” Obama said. “Sal never broke stride. He leapt forward. He took aim. He killed one of the insurgents and wounded the other, who ran off.”

Just to be clear, Giunta, and not the other soldiers who were with him, received the Medal of Honor because he ran up out of cover and shot the fuck out of two enemies who were trying to drag away his friend. Okay, back to Fischer:

I would suggest our culture has become so feminized that we have become squeamish at the thought of the valor that is expressed in killing enemy soldiers through acts of bravery. We know instinctively that we should honor courage, but shy away from honoring courage if it results in the taking of life rather than in just the saving of life. So we find it safe to honor those who throw themselves on a grenade to save their buddies.

Man, our soldiers are so gay, aren’t they? We don’t even need DADT; they are all homos! They are so much less masculine than this hack evangelical writer who oddly does not mention anything about serving in the military himself. HMM.

Jesus, in words often cited in ceremonies such as the one which will take place this afternoon, said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). So it is entirely right that we honor this kind of bravery and self-sacrifice, which is surely an imitation of the Lord of Lord and King of Kings.

However, Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless – yes, meaningless – if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

Ah, so the message he takes from the Word of Jesus Christ is that Jesus was very nearly a worthless gay Himself, but thankfully was able to escape it by BEING A MURDERER in whatever metaphorical sense Fischer is trying to put on him. Fischer is trying to call Jesus Christ a murderer, and that’s supposed to be a good thing.

And once again, Giunta DID KILL A GUY to win this Medal of Honor. And because he did it literally, we guess that means Jesus was gayer than Giunta. [AFA/AP]

 
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{ 195 comments }

horsedreamer_1 November 17, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Saddam Saddam Saddam — can't you see? Sometimes your finger-wag just hypnotize me.

bumfug November 17, 2010 at 4:53 pm

The best part of the bible is where the Roman soldier is sticking his spear into crucified Jesus and Jesus snatches it away from him and jams it through the guy's eye. Now, THAT'S worth a fucking medal of honor!

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Verily I say unto thee, this time it's personal, motherfucker!

Wadisay November 17, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Next time a Predator drone takes out an Afghan wedding party, Fischer is going to nominate that guy for Medal of Honor.

Negropolis November 18, 2010 at 12:54 am

No, no. The best part of the Bible is when Jesus sees commerce going on in the holy temple, and he totally flips the fuck out, and just goes all up in there snappin' necks Steven Segal-style, and then impales a random Roman on a table leg just for getting the fuck in the way of things.

Jesus, fuck yeah!

Sparky_McGruff November 18, 2010 at 8:08 am

That just doesn't make sense. Jesus was not "anti-business". He must have been mad that the Jews were cutting into his business, so he took them out "scarface" style.

glindsey1979 November 17, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Nope. Can't summon snark. That man is, quite simply, one of the most evil men I have ever heard of.

Neilist November 17, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Evil?

Or just so Fucking Stupid as to defy classification?

glindsey1979 November 18, 2010 at 9:53 am

I don't know, Evil sounds pretty spot-on to me. He's essentially saying that we, as a nation, just aren't killing enough people, gosh durned it. War may be necessary for the good of a people, at times, but that doesn't mean we have to revel in the loss of human life, the way he seems to do.

Doglessliberal November 18, 2010 at 11:49 am

Yep, rendered speechless with revolted astonishment.

Missyb9479 November 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Clearly you missed the part where Jesus returned from the grace to kill everyone.

Zombie Jesus died for your sins and came back for your brains.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Yes…but Vampire Jesus gave his blood for you…now he wants it back.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm

That's the Second Coming which the fundies all want so much. Why do you think we're at war in the Middle East? It's not for oil or anything, just the Second Coming. After which the fundies will rule us with a rod of iron.

Radiotherapy November 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Eat my body, drink my blood…..bitches

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm

If you want a religion that praises valor, why not become a Teutonic pagan?

THIS GIUNTA COWARD HAS NOT YET EARNED A PLACE IN VALHALLA NEXT TO THOR.

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 5:18 pm

And Thor actually did inflict a mortal wound on the enemy; specifically Jörmungandr the Midgar Serpent; while giving up his own life

Lazy Media November 17, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Odin is God. Read The Mighty Thor #5.

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm

You get a Wonkette 'A' for the day, for knowing what happens during Ragnarok.

(This technically happens in the future, mind, but it is already predetermined so who cares.)

HOFAH November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

'Lo, there do I see my father.
'Lo, there do I see my mother, and my sisters, and brothers.
'Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
'Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla.
Where the brave may live forever.

Fuck Brian Fischer who if he ever saw some insurgent dragging her (typo intended) fellow soldier away would stand there pissing his pants and then praise Jeebus that it wasn't her (typo intended again).

FarLeftTackle November 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Yes, because we all know there's nothing worse in life than being a woman.

MinAgain November 17, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Huh. I always suspected Mary Magdalene was a drag queen.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Hey, they all dressed like Greeks, wrapped up in sheets and showing off as much skin as they liked!

justkillmenow November 17, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Dude is from Iowa and will be gay married at any moment. Oh, and Fischer is a dick.

Truculent November 17, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Fischer probably had this particular brainstorm while blowing a guy in the bus station men's room.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

At the church men's room, in the basement.

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm

So he was blowing a boy, like a good Christian should?

deanbooth November 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

A dead guy.

problemwithcaring November 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Turning the other ASS cheek, as it were.

ManchuCandidate November 17, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Does this mean the fat ass McD chomping never been shot at Rear Echelon Motherfuckers of the AFA have to approve Medal of Honor winners?

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Thank you.

Neilist November 17, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Oh, well said, Sir. Well said.

:::Polite, and yet heartfelt, golf clap:::

Mindblank November 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm

According to this man we should be giving medals to suicide bombers.

GuyClinch November 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm

"We know instinctively that we should honor courage, but shy away from honoring courage if it results in the taking of life rather than in just the saving of life."

So, I guess this "Bryan Fischer" must really respect Mohammed Atta and the other 18 9-11 assholes, because, as Bill Maher pointed out years ago, it took courage to pull that shit off. Anyhow, Fischer deserves the Medal of Vileness.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm

The plexiglass belly-button award. It lets you see where you are going even though you have you're head up your ass!

emmelemm November 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm

So basically, this fucker's whole argument is based on ignoring the actual facts of the case, specifically that the army dude DID, in fact, kill someone?

I haz a confused. (Don't worry, it happens to me all the time. It doesn't hurt a bit.)

Missyb9479 November 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

He killed one guy. Come on. Killing one guy won't even get you into one of the good gangs anymore. You'd get into one of the third tier gangs, maybe, but there won't be any real banging jobs for you when you graduate.

To really deserve a medal of honor you need to kill fitty men.

SudsMcKenzie November 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm

Well, that medal does look FABULOUS on him.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 4:59 pm

It's all right — Salvatore Giunta is Italian-gay, not buttßechs gay. They look similar to the untrained eye, but are very, very different.

Did Fischer see Giunta on "60 Minutes" Sunday? Could a hero be more Christ-like?

Bryan Fischer, you scurrilous poseur: a lot of people who have never heard of you before are going to show you now what it means to be hated.

And "Bryan"? — sounds kinda gay. "Prior to joining the leadership team at American Family Association, Bryan served as Executive Director of the Idaho Values Alliance."

The Larry Craig Chapter, one presumes…

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm

So, is Larry Craig a Mormon? Perhaps member of a secret gay polygamist off-shoot?

DoktorZoom November 17, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I remember when he used to just be Boise's problem. Now, Bryan Fischer is America's Problem.

hagajim November 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Why the hell do all the fucktard wingnuts come from Idaho…this douche and Saint Sarah…and taptoe Larry….Good God I missed the boat. I could become one of these just by being from Idaho! Time to strap on my hypocritical homophobia and fake righteousness…then I too can be a fame whore.

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Considering that this is around the fourth time I've seen Fisher very loudly arguing we're not killing enough people or animals, it really might be a good idea for the FBI to go out to his house and look for what's hidden in the basement or under the floorboards.

metamarcisf November 17, 2010 at 5:09 pm

The Fischer character would be a great addition to the TV show "Dexter"

bumfug November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

For one really gruesome episode…

SexySmurf November 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

However, Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless – yes, meaningless – if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

I think Fischer got the Bible confused with the ending of The Wild Bunch. Happens to me all the time.

PsycWench November 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm

I thought at first you meant "Where The Wild Things Are" which is probably more Fischer's level anyway.

arcane_allusion November 18, 2010 at 9:59 am

I found the easiest way for me to tell them apart was that the Bible has way more violence and incest; while The Wild Bunch ending is more plausible.

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Yeah Jesus!!!! He so mortally wounded the Roman Empire, it only lasted for another 400-1500 years, depending on who you ask.

Yeah, Jesus kicks ass!

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Same way Mel Gibson freed Scotland by painting his face blue. Freeedom!

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Actually, there was a 3rd stage! The Ottomans Empire!

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 6:11 pm

An entire empire ruled by foot stools.

sarjo November 17, 2010 at 8:35 pm

I thumbed the footstools comment once. Now I wish to do so again. Why is Wonkette thumbing system so masculinized that it only can go ONCE when I want more????

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 11:56 pm

In fairness, I basically stoled the joke from Eddie Izzard.

One_who_wanders November 17, 2010 at 9:21 pm

It was a lingering mortal wound. Still not dead.

chascates November 17, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I would suggest our culture has become so feminized that we have become squeamish at the thought of the valor that is expressed in killing enemy soldiers through acts of bravery.

A Mama Grizzly would have killed everyone, our soldiers included, to show how much she loves Jesus and America.

OneYieldRegular November 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Proof that the Medal of Honor is rapidly becoming "feminized" is that the only woman ever to receive one got hers in 1865. And in the thousands of years prior to that, not ONE woman received the Medal of Honor. I rest my case.

real_dc_native November 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm

I think he should go to some bars in the area around Ft. Hood in Texas and explain his theory of the feminized military to the young women and men that he finds there. I'm sure this would stimulate some rather animated discussion that would hopefully lead to him getting the shit kicked out of hi.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm

I think of more like a laying on of hands…for healing!

HistoriCat November 17, 2010 at 9:10 pm

I'll chip in five bucks for the ticket to get him there but someone has to record the event for posterity.

metamarcisf November 17, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Come on, we know in our hearts that Bryan Fischer is right. The next step is to righteously nominate Vietnam Veteran Lt. William ("What, My Lai?") Calley for the medal of honor. I'd like to see somebody question HIS manhood.

Sparky_McGruff November 17, 2010 at 6:30 pm

I'm glad to see your comment made it onto the AFA site for all the wingnuts to see. Your P score is a badge of honor, my friend.

MuslinMosk November 17, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I think that's a requirement just to be a Christian.

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Nietzsche – "In truth, there was only one true Christian, and he died on the cross."

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

And even he was a Jew.

Presuming one buys into the whole Jesus-actually-existed myth.

sarjo November 17, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Dude, that is a LIE! I knew a kid named Christian in college and he's still alive!

finallyhappy November 17, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I am not Christian(not that this AFA is Christian either- just bigots and haters) so you guys explain- I thought Jesus died on the cross and said Father, Father, why have you forsaken me or Forgive them Father they know not what they do. Where does it say he killed some of the enemy?

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm

In the Book of Bryan Fischer, Jesus descends from the cross, pulls the cross out of the ground with one hand, then swings the cross around over his head, decapitating 100 Roman soldiers and all infinite bears. Then he makes sweet sweet love to Pamela Anderson and Mary Magdalen whilst at the same time as he is making this manly, condom-less love to two women, he is actually also at the same time drop kicking commie Mexi-fags over the border. And as soon as the love making is done, his seed is so virile that he actually ejaculates three three-month old babies.

It's all in there.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Book of Revelations?

Mindblank November 18, 2010 at 2:54 am

Book of Mel. Gibson.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

It doesn't. He made the apostles hand over the weapons they had when he was arrested, too.

The modern born-again movement has given up on the Jewish carpenter, and started worshipping Pontius Pilate, though.

Chet Kincaid November 18, 2010 at 2:25 am

He is probably just trying to say that the crucifxion fucked up Satan's plans. Don't think too much about it, it don't make sense no way.

elviouslyqueer November 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Well, given the fact that Bryan Fischer hasn't been anywhere near the military in, oh, ever but has, instead, been head of the "Idaho Values Alliance," I'd say he's not only a sack of shit, but a pole-smoking, power-bottoming, 10-inch-stiletto-heel-wearing sack of shit.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Idaho: land of steers and queers.

trampndirtdown November 17, 2010 at 11:34 pm

And a few Wonketeers :)

jqheywood November 18, 2010 at 11:20 am

Nice rhyme!

Sparky_McGruff November 17, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Are you suggesting that he knows Larry Craig very well???

Ducksworthy November 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

WTF? What enemy did fantasy white macho Jeebus inflict a mortal wound on? Rome? Well OK but that was one long acting spell and even then if Julian the Apostate had had his way it never would have happened.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Jesus was a white guy? I thought he was a middle east guy, one of those dark-skinned peasant/Bedouin types you meet. Early Xtns thought "I am Black but beautiful" was about Jesus.

sarjo November 17, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Black but comely…that was Him.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Linky, per favore?

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Hell, if Bryan Fischer thinks the Medal of Honor's been feminized, he should look at the church he speaks for — it's being fronted by a blow-dried Ted Baxter wannabe who probably spends his time fondling twelve-year-old boys, and it sucks at the teat of Rupert Murdoch and runs crying to mommy every time someone observes that it's shot through with coddled, made-up, faux-pious failed theater majors and xenophobic Steven Seagal fans with moobs.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Bless you, my son. You've nailed them to the cross of their own characteristics.

Lascauxcaveman November 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm

No, no. Fischer's got a point. Because if Soldier Sal wasn't such a fag, he would have run forward under heavy fire, killed the two insurgents, and then used his fallen comrade for target practice. Because we heteros love to shoot and kill things above all else.

Otherwise we'd all be sissy, feminized fags.

GOPCrusher November 17, 2010 at 5:20 pm

A real man wouldn't have used a gun. He would hand snapped the neck of one of the insurgents and then used that corpse to beat the other one to death.
Like Chuck Norris.

MarionNYNY November 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Just took a quick look at Fischer's bio. They must have left off the part about his own heroism when he was in the military. Humility I guess. Either that or maybe he's another chicken-hawk who just can't stop squawking.

DoktorZoom November 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm

They also serve who only sit and bloviate.

PublicLuxury November 17, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Just like Rush. Couldn't serve due to the boil on his ass, which has migrated to his brain… Matbe not, this Bryan fellow seems to have his head in his ass…

If your head is in your ass can you wear underpants?

mavenmaven November 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm

I think our vereherter freund Herr Fischer was confusing our medal of honor with this one: http://wapedia.mobi/en/Knight%27s_Cross_of_the_Ir

Ducksworthy November 17, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Wow. The comments on the AFA site are stiffer than the ones here.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Feminization, eh? So, you ladies DO have cooties?

CapnFatback November 17, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Noah passes to Moses; Moses shoots; Jesus KILLS!

Nope, just doesn't have the same zazz somehow.

WhatTheHeck November 17, 2010 at 5:19 pm

AFA Hymn:

Onward christian soldiers
going off to war
with the blood of Jesus
we’re gonna spill some more.

slappypaddy November 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

bryan fischer is an unspeakable ass. the toenail clippings of a garret trooper are worth more.

from the code of federal regulations, title 32, chapter 5, section 578.4, the following:

"The Medal of Honor, established by Joint Resolution of
Congress, 12 July 1862 (amended by Act of 9 July 1918 and Act of 25 July
1963) is awarded in the name of Congress to a person who, while a member
of the Army, distinguished himself conspicuously by gallantry and
intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty
while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States; while
engaged in military operations involving conflict with an opposing
foreign force; or while serving with friendly foreign forces engaged in
an armed conflict against an opposing armed force in which the United
States is not a belligerent party. The deed performed must
have been one of personal bravery or self-sacrifice so conspicuous as to
clearly distinguish the individual above his comrades and must have
involved risk of life. Incontestable proof of the performance of the
service will be exacted and each recommendation for the award of this
decoration will be considered on the standard of extraordinary merit.
Eligibility is limited to members of the Army of the United States in
active Federal military service."

suck on that, bryan, and tell me how it tastes. if you can get that sorry sack-of-shit flavor out of your mouth.

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Okay Wonketeers, it is pinky swear time. if at any point any of us see some Taliban dragging Bryan Fischer away to his certain death, can we all agree to just let them have him?

HOFAH November 17, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Done and done!!!!

glindsey1979 November 17, 2010 at 5:47 pm

No, man, I would save him, just so he could live the rest of his life knowing he owes it to some goddamned LIBRUL who was braver than he. (And a better Christian, too, despite being an apostate Catholic.)

mumbly_joe November 17, 2010 at 5:56 pm

They really deserve each other, is really the thing- AFAICT, that right there is a match made in Hell, by Satan, whom Bryan Fischer probably routine thanks via truck decals.

DoktorZoom November 17, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Screw that–I'll save his sorry ass, then capture the Taliban fighters, teach them English, give them Fischer's columns about Islam, and THEN turn him over to them.

imissopus November 17, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Shit, I'll send them his address.

BarackMyWorld November 17, 2010 at 5:22 pm

I don't think that this guy realizes that we basically give Medals of Honor for doing stuff like RISKING YOUR LIFE to save others, not getting the highest body count.

weejee November 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm

Bryan Fischer: round, red, and stained about the edges. Pure asshole.

yellowerdog November 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Don't know why Mr. Fischer's views would upser anyone. He's right to put this in masculine/feminine terms. It's his frame of reference, seeing as he's a DICK!

Rotundo_ November 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

I don't suppose that the fact that "enemy" kills aren't posted on the evening news like football scores like they were in the Vietnam war has anything to do with this? The DoD doesn't like discussing the unpleasant side of all this ("enemy" as well as our own casualties) because then it would just be a bummer for the country. Then you have these armchair Rambo wannabes howling that we aren't handing out CMH's like fucking teddy bears at a carnival booth. From what I have seen of CMH awardees and what they have done, it is about sacrifice and risk for the greater good without regard for personal safety and comfort. It isn't about the amount of bodies that pile up. But then, chickenhawks like these think like sideshow geeks and not like human beings. That this gentleman was able to walk up and collect his medal was miraculous. Reducing it to a bounty for ears cut or bodies piled shows Fischer's ignorance, a total absence of character or humanity, and a pathological anti-christian mindset that shows the AFA for what it is.

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 6:30 pm

Well said, but not enough, and surely not loud enough.

Gleem_McShineys November 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Does "mortal wound," perhaps in ancient Aramaic or something, actually mean "lying cunt"?

Because that would make sense: Jesus inflicted this lying cunt, Bryan Fischer, upon us all. Manly Jesus, please, heal us of this wound.

Beanball November 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

In Chicago some years back, I rounded a corner on the Navy Pier and what to my eyes did appear but a group of approximately 50 Medal of Honor recipients (Vietnam vets, mostly). I was so thunderstruck that I actually stopped and saluted, and I haven't worn a uniform in years.

Somebody needs to stop by this asshole's office and explain (preferably in a hard way) what one has to go through to receive one of these "trinkets."

Oh, did I mention that I would personally like to curbstomp this motherfucker?

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 6:31 pm

CMH Holders rate a Hand Salute regardless of their rank.

Beanball November 17, 2010 at 7:32 pm
ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Interesting, especially since my son with Ky N.G. He holds CIB and Bronze Star. Been over once, going again, I fear.

Neilist November 17, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Ttommy:

I'm an ASSHOLE, I know.

But tell your son I TOLD him to keep his God DAMN head DOWN, okay?

(Phrase it any way you like.)

Neilist

glindsey1979 November 18, 2010 at 10:04 am

I wish him the best of luck. My cousin is a newly-minted lieutenant in the Army Reserves, so I'd imagine he'll be heading over there too at some point soon. Scares the hell out of me.

metamarcisf November 17, 2010 at 5:29 pm

"Hey, bub, I'd like to see you square up to practically any serving member of the armed forces and find out how many seconds it takes them to soundly "feminize" you. Can your body cash the check your mouth is more than willing to write? I think we all know the answer."

Wasn't me. Way too erudite.

DahBoner November 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Why son, back in my day, way back in 93, the only people who wore their hair this short were boys in the Castro.

Now, all the young kids are GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI skinheads….

GuanoFaucet November 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

"I would suggest our culture has become so feminized…"

Well, I don't know about that, Bryan, but this country has become an unbearable black hole of stupid. And idiot assholes, like you, are the major cause of our journey toward 'tard-ville.

And for that, you can go eat a bag of extra-salted rat dicks, you fuck.

DustBowlBlues November 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Bryan never got over his homosexual "experiment" that one night he got drunk at whatever loser fraternity was willing to pledge him.

mercianomad November 17, 2010 at 5:36 pm

My prayer for today: Would somebody please suit up Bryan Fischer in combat fatigues and modern weaponry and send him to the thorniest section of Afghanistan/Pakistan there is, so he can prove what a masculine man he is in combat? What a douche. Why do I have to share a country with these assholes? Why why why? Joining the Vermont secessionists is looking pretty good right now.

mrblifil November 17, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Too expensive. Jet Blue him over to LaGuardia airport and drop him off at any housing project in Brooklyn, anytime after 10PM, and he can show us all how rough and tough he is. I'm guessing he'd be introduced to a whole new concept of "feminization."

EdFlintstone November 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Yeah, how come the guys who have the most kills aren't gettting their due? I'm smelling hit TV show and newest fantasy sport on Christian Broadcasting Network, Fantasy War. Battle for the Jesus Cup, by assembling your team of 10 members of the army, air force and marines! Scoring as follows: kill=6 pts, wound the enemy=3 points and saving a troop=1pt. Fun for the whole family!

BornInATrailer November 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm

They already made that videogame btw, Left Behind: Eternal Forces.

Sparky_McGruff November 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Bonus points for killing passerby! THE BOYS FROM BLACKWATER (Xen) WIN AGAIN!

DustBowlBlues November 17, 2010 at 6:57 pm

I can't wait to share this news about killer Jesus with my hippie, peace activist preacher. Whoa. It's be news to her.

Oh, right. Women can't be the preacher in Bryan's world. No doubt, that's part of what's making our society feminine. Women taking men's jobs.

TheMightyHaltor November 17, 2010 at 5:38 pm

If you're watching a Medal of Honor ceremony and all you can see is gayness, you've got a closet bigger than Imelda Marcos'

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm

You have to admit, that ribbon it hangs from is pretty God Damn Gay.

Dr_pangloss November 18, 2010 at 9:58 am

You Think? Jesus these "family values" crusaders are all closet cases anyway.

notreelyhelping November 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Hey, if they ever can this shitbird, I understand Fred Phelps is looking for a tire guy.

Radiotherapy November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I'll bet Jesus would be fucking awesome at Medal of Honor, the video game, too.

metamarcisf November 17, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Jesus died for somebody's sins.
But not Bryan Fischer's

ShaveTheWhales November 19, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Oh, BTW, I neglected to comment on this .

Thanks, Lou.

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Because nothing screams masculine like some closeted old man in a black turtleneck and a knit sweater.
http://www.renewamerica.com/images/columnists/lg/

BornInATrailer November 17, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Muscular Christ kinda seems like an asshole.

nounverb911 November 17, 2010 at 5:50 pm

And the winner of the first annual Dick Cheney Chickenshit Coward Award goes to Bryan Fischer!

DustBowlBlues November 17, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Seriously. None of the war cheeleaders ever put on a uniform, except that time Junior Bush went to have his teeth cleaned in Alabama, to prove he was with the Guard so he could get it done for free.

lochnessmonster November 17, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Ya know, that's what happens when people don't bother to READ and learn the FACTS before they spout off ASS U ME things.

DustBowlBlues November 17, 2010 at 7:04 pm

You are so sweet. That's such an old-fashioned, mild way of talking about this assfucking dickwad. Just for that, I'm going to follow you and up your pees.

You're welcome.

SudsMcKenzie November 18, 2010 at 2:51 am

They become ex Governors of AK?

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm

Look, for a man of the caliber of Bryan Fischer, this kind of bravery is routine.

Why, if you knew the number of times he threw himself onto live grenades (throbbing, exploding cocks), using his body (mouth) to make sure that the shrapnel (buckets of jiz), didn't wound any bystanders (stain the airport carpet), then you'd know that this kind of "bravery" is just commonplace.

x111e7thst November 17, 2010 at 6:48 pm

Good old Bryan F. Star of many a cream-bath in the backroom of the old Anvil.

el_chupacabra November 17, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Oh… jesus is gonna get his killin' in real soon y'all. Gonna make up for all that being a pussy. Gonna burn this fucker to the ground yo. And President-for-Life-from-Heaven Trig will give him a fucking HELLYEAH Medal. And it won't have no purple ribbon neither. It'll have a ribbon made out of other medals. medals for KILLIN' (jews?) (hope not!)

mumbly_joe November 17, 2010 at 5:54 pm

I love how the AFA isn't even trying to pretend they're any different from Westboro Baptist at this point.

The only question now is when Bryan Fischer is going to finally grow a pair of his own and join them out at our soldier's funerals, protesting this "feminized" American culture that doesn't celebrate wholesale, indiscriminate slaughter.

genxr November 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Jesus don't surf!

elfgoldsackring November 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Isn't this the guy whose Jesus points and laughs when a family's house is left to burn down 'cos they haven't paid their fire levy? You know, to teach them a lesson?

SorosBot November 18, 2010 at 12:10 am

http://wonkette.com/425195/afa-jesus-wanted-firef
Yep.
"In this case, critics of the fire department are confused both about right and wrong and about Christianity. And it is because they have fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity that is only about softer virtues such as compassion and not in any part about the muscular Christian virtues of individual responsibility and accountability."

Lucidamente1 November 17, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Yeah, well, Raymond Shaw won a Congressional Medal of Honor, too.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm

This is the blue-eyed Jesus I believe in: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/2852926976_d6

bordo2 November 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm

God, I just read the whole column and now I feel an intense desire to pluck out my eyeballs.

I know the douchebaggery this year has been at high tide, but fuck, give Bryan Fister the award for being the biggest asshole in the galaxy right now. No one is going to top this kettle of crap.

ManchuCandidate November 17, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Hey AFA REMF.

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

DoktorZoom November 17, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Greater love testosterone hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life waste as many brown people as possible for his friends the manly Jebus lulz.

chickensmack November 17, 2010 at 6:12 pm

I Corinthians 14:34-35:

Let the women keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is a disgrace for a woman to speak in church.

That includes you Kansas City dancin' sissies and your life-saving bullshit.

jim89048 November 17, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Womyn: doin' it rong since 35 AD.

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 6:14 pm

And the Lord looked upon them and said,

"Lo, blessed are the guys who shoot up women and children, especially the brown ones, 'cause they have it coming. Heaven is reserved for those with blood and gore hanging from their teeth. Fuck the Mother Fuckers!!!!"

The Gospel of Cheney, Chapter 12, verse 4-6

June_Cleaver2.0 November 17, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Now they are attacking soldiers in the presence of the president, so sure are they, that they can say anything and the American people will believe the lie or the made-up story. They have all decided to put a negative spin on absolutely everything the president does. Where is the outrage to call these bums traitors?

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Judging from the Sergeant's salad on his blouse (yes, that's what it's called in the Army, so go nuts, Fischer) he has attended several rodeos and county fairs, not just the one in question. I wouldn't be so stupid or insensitive to ask him, but I'm guessing he's made more than one human assume room temperature in his short career. I am frankly aghast at the assholery required to lodge any criticism of this event, in any direction. I guess AFA stands for Americans for Assholery and we all know who's wearing the most medals in that outfit.

ShaveTheWhales November 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

That's an excellent point. I cannot read the salad, but five rows on a SSgt suggests that he's been a busy fella.

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 9:21 pm

The highest are displayed on upper rows, I just glanced and noticed Purple Heart and Bronze Star. No telling how many tours he's pulled by now. The gall of these rightards is mindboggling. Fischer would have to stand on his grandmother's shoulders just to look this kid in the eye. I say kid only because he is younger than my own. He is definitely a man, unlike Fischer. Hopefully, his combat is all behind him now. Unlikely his ass will be risked any further since he has (rightly) assumed National Treasure Status.

Neilist November 17, 2010 at 9:45 pm

He's got the Eye-Tal-E-An Parachutist's Badge, too.

Which makes him a Falling Dago Fag, I suppose:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvatore_Giunta

ttommyunger November 18, 2010 at 8:48 am

Only two things should fall from the sky, bird shit and wops; or so they say.

ShaveTheWhales November 19, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Thanks for that. I'm not sure there is any human pyramid that would bring Fischer up to this guy's eye-level.

Hopefully, SSgt Giunta will not move to Arizona. Or just be so fucking soldier that he insists on going back.

ttommyunger November 19, 2010 at 9:22 pm

He seems like a well-centered young man. I have high hopes for him. He sure has a leg up on life now whatever he chooses for his future.

NorthStarSpanx November 17, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Have we established that Fischer is a combat veteran? He serve along side Joe Miller and won't disclose his serious disability?

When is Fischer going to volunteer the metal fillings in his teeth to mold the new masculine medals fit for murdering heroes?

mumbly_joe November 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm

You know, I've mentioned this before, but the fact that Bryan Fischer uses the word "feminized" as a catch-all term meaning "inferior, wrong-headed, and inconsistent with everything I think the world should be" kinda speaks greater volumes than his godawful blog posts advocating slaughter of everything, themselves.

*But!* Just to be clear! There's no inconsistency with agreeing with everything Bryan Fischer says and all the language he uses about those things, and being a feminist, or even merely kinda liking women as co-equal human beings! Mama Grizzlies! Rawr! Totally the same thing as feminism! And Teabaggers are standing up to those Wall Street fat-cats! Also!

MistaEko November 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Everyone knows real heroes yell "BOOM HEADSHOT" and squat over their enemy's corpses.

sarjo November 17, 2010 at 8:58 pm

That's just a stupid thing to say!!!

REAL heroes take cell cam pix with their corpse while doing the squint-eye+pistol-hand thing.

My_pal_HAL November 17, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Who does anal Fischer think Jeebus slayed? Please allow me to introduce myself…

sarjo November 17, 2010 at 8:59 pm

I hung around Iranistan, when I saw it was a time for a regime change!

PublicLuxury November 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm

As a Merican I expect my military men to slaughter people first and git answers next millinum. Y'all dint know shit 'bout being a reeel Merican. Mah boys'll kick the shit outta y'all pussy librul guvmint luvin' welfer luvin' lazzzy gays. A man's a man. A mans gotta have pussy regaler like or he mite be tempted to go 'gainst Chriesss an all an git a handjob frum a friend.

elfgoldsackring November 17, 2010 at 7:26 pm

D-d-daddy? Is that really you? They tole us you was dead!

nounverb911 November 17, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Bryan, Bryan, Bryan, shame on you. Olbermann is going to make you "Worstest person in the world".

donner_froh November 17, 2010 at 7:34 pm

"“I have noticed a disturbing trend in the awarding of these medals, which few others seem to have recognized"

I have noticed a disturbing trend which few others are insane enough to have recognized or if they did were self-aware enough to keep it to themselves.

Not me, though, because Bryan Fisher is above all that sanity and rationality which is really gay besides.

mercianomad November 17, 2010 at 7:57 pm

This is something like 10,000 x infinity worse than the fattest 350-pound KFC-munching jerk bitching about his favorite athlete being out of shape or playing poorly on game day. That hypocrisy is bad, but mostly it's worse because it sounds like he views both contests with the same attitude, as if the horrors of real warfare and killing are some sort of stat-happy entertainment for a sports MVP award.

PublicLuxury November 17, 2010 at 8:12 pm

What's with the little red dots on Sal's face? Is that supposed to be blood spatter? Maybe he should have showered before coming to the ceremony. I guess I can live with it, it makes him look less feminine and much more homicidal.

snoopyfan2010 November 17, 2010 at 8:23 pm

One of the fruits of the spirit…..the ability to make garbage up.

Neilist November 17, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Breaking News:

Bryan Fischer has an undergraduate degree in philosophy from a Bay Area junior college:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_Fischer

Which automatically makes him a homo.

Go BEARS!

[Leland Stanford Junior University? That is a community college, right?]

ShaveTheWhales November 19, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Oh, you Cal guys. Just upset them, take your fucking Axe, and go home.

[Disclaimer: I have a small personal interest in this as an alumnus of a modest Midwestern university].

SheriffRoscoe November 17, 2010 at 9:59 pm

I often think back to the story of Jesus acting all butch, when, while being arrested to be taken in and tortured to death, that "nancy boy" Simon Peter intervened by stepping in and cutting the ear off one of the centurions with his sword. Jesus, being the stud muffin that he was picked the ear up, did some abracadabra shit and rebuffed Peter for being such a fucking wuss.

Wait, that seems backwards, somehow. Mr. Fischer, HELP!

imissopus November 17, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Brian Fischer is right. Only one guy? I had to take out more than that at my bar mitzvah.

transfatz November 17, 2010 at 11:10 pm

I'm proud that Salvatore Giunta is a Sicilian-American like myself. I have never seen action other than dodging hails of bullets in several Brooklyn clam houses.
Giunta, however, had the presence of mind to prepare ambush antipasto, an excellent Taliban scallopini and help finish the meal off with apache spumoni. From what I have read, he and his fellow prep cooks and sous chefs all deserve the medal for field cooking a bunch of sorry Taliban asses off.

ShaveTheWhales November 19, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Wait. Is this another Layne pre-Thanksgiving cooking class?

Office_39 November 17, 2010 at 11:29 pm

The Medal of Honor is the Happy Meal Prize of McDonaldsized patriotism, and Bryan Fischer is totally insane. Blog post-in-a-can story if ever there was.

SorosBot November 18, 2010 at 12:04 am

House Harkonnen.

Neoyorquino November 18, 2010 at 12:51 am

American Family Association: "It needs more blood-spray"

aisai November 18, 2010 at 1:37 am

"Blessed are the peacemakers, especially those that kill as many goddamn ragheads as possible"

That was always my favourite Jesus quote

Chet Kincaid November 18, 2010 at 2:59 am

All this blather about "feminization." I think Fischer is getting his theology from "Cerebus the Aardvark," not the Bible.

Ducksworthy November 18, 2010 at 9:38 am

I think xtians like Bryan Feacher have made up a religion that attempted to resurrect Jeebus but got Moloch instead. Moloch is the real muscular Jeebus.

StillGoinGreen November 18, 2010 at 11:20 am

I think all xtians have become like the Jon Lovitz character, Tommy Flanagan. They just make shit up on the fly, regardless if it is written anywhere or not. The only way it would be any better is if they finished each one of their dribbling, nonsense pieces with, "YEAH, THAT'S THE TICKET!" My grandfather, uncle and 2 cousins were grifting, whoring, thieving ministers, so I was forcefed the bible throughout my youth – and I must say, I see very little if anything being sold as religion these days that is backed by scripture. Then again, I see nothing in the scripture that is backed by science – so I guess we're all even.

ShaveTheWhales November 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

I think you meant "Bryan Felcher".

marinmaven November 18, 2010 at 9:54 am

Here is what I posted:
When will you and the religious right even open the bible to the Beatitudes. If you read Christ's teachings you would find them feminine in nature. Blessed are the meek, merciful, peaceful, and pure of heart. You are exhibit A when it comes to show that many of these "Christian" groups have little to do with Christ himself or his teachings.

Dr_pangloss November 18, 2010 at 9:57 am

Many MOH are awarded post humous due to some brave mutherfucker doing something to save his buddies and not making it himself. Sometimes the guy makes it though and that is some how "Feminizied"? This Fisher guy sounds like some fuck who thinks the ARMY is camping out weekends and talking tough.

What happened to the good ole days when you could get the MOH for killing native american women and children.

comrad_darkness November 18, 2010 at 10:55 am

Are there any real Christians left? Are you all in hiding? Notching your doors with . . . um, I guess it wouldn't be fish . . . maybe with Aramaic? If any scooter riding knuckle draggers do bother you, remind them Jesus spoke English, just like it says in the Bible and they will leave you alone.

mrbubb November 18, 2010 at 11:42 am

I am prepared to present my newly minted "Homo of Honor" medal to the first guy who demonstrates Fischer's logic on…Fischer. Get some!

frailamerica November 18, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Is that Johnny Lee Miller?

newsphilter November 18, 2010 at 12:41 pm

He now has a follow up blog to react to all the criticism he's gotten: http://www.afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147500… …his logic is even more twisted in the second one, enjoy!

hagajim November 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

BINGO

sanantonerose November 18, 2010 at 6:23 pm

What is with all this "feminization" bullshit? Loathe as I am to say it, this mid-term election was about one thing: white male cock. RESTORE ME TO MY FORMER GLORY

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

I'll do better than that, I'm forwarding this to him. Thanks.

ttommyunger November 18, 2010 at 10:32 am

And well it should. We can only hope and pray for his safety, and I, for one, do.

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