About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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Hola wonkerados.

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      1. sarjo

        Dagnabbit! I thought the genital warts thing was the cool new disease! Can I exchange my warts please? I need a cholera, double hookworms, and a skinny West Nile (with an extra shot of blindness, no lumps).

  1. TanzbodenKoenig

    Cholera is the new Atkins Diet, you'll be astonished at just how quickly you shed the pounds…. and lining of your colon!

    1. PublicLuxury

      Not difficult to accomplish. My cats asshole looks better than Dicky. I know you could try harder. DO OVER. See, just like when you were in 2nd grade. Be an overachiever.

      1. sarjo

        Oh please! I think you mean either: "My cat's asshole" or, "My cats' assholes."

        No wonder people call us dumb libtards!!!

  2. chascates

    Worry about hog cholera. Once it mutates with pig AIDS we're all doomed. Doomed to a separate cable channel that has the Palins 24/7.

  3. BornInATrailer

    Vitter is going to have to boil his poo before he engages in his diaper/scat play? What a PITA (heh).

  4. ttommyunger

    Considering all the bad karma hitting those poor people lately, I can't believe several Rightard Teevee Preachers haven't proclaimed it God's revenge on them for some real or imagined sins. Pat Roberson must be in a fucking coma to keep him away from this opportunity to prove his assholery once again. At least I hope he is, and I mean that in the shittiest possible way.

    1. Negropolis

      Some talking head said it was a curse for making a pact with the devil right after this happened, so someone already has that covered.

  5. PublicLuxury

    Oh wow. This is way cool. I always wanted to get a highly communicable deadly disease other than they syphilis and herpes and gonorrhea I already have.

    Oh, BTW, I am looking for a date to the Soldiers' Ball. Give me a buzz if you're not busy and enjoy taking huge doses of penicillin.

  6. PublicLuxury

    Non Snark

    The people of Haiti are in desperate circumstances. We need to do all we can to help them to recover from one disaster after another upon the plight they were already suffering. Congress (republipukes) are still blocking the federal funding promised to Haitians after the earthquake. Call your congressscritter, please.

  7. transfatz

    Cholera is so popular now that there will simply not be enough to go around this holiday season. The major producer, Haiti, is having shipping problems as labor disturbances in the cholera manufacturing sector have closed some airports and ports there. Look for tramplings at Choleramart and excessive cholera scalping on e-bay.

    1. sarjo

      But the wise shopper knows that the best deals are factory-direct. While supplies at your local Choleramart cannot be guaranteed, a visit to Haiti will almost certainly yield success.

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