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goddamned Gawker. YOU RELAX!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm not dead yet.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Do you feel happy?

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        I think I'll go for a walk now.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Glad to hear that Mr. Cheney.

  • SorosBot

    Since cholera is caused by eating shit, regular Fox News viewers are most susceptible.

  • SexySmurf

    Cholera is the new West Nile Virus.

    • user-of-owls

      Hookworms are the new Cholera.

      • sarjo

        Dagnabbit! I thought the genital warts thing was the cool new disease! Can I exchange my warts please? I need a cholera, double hookworms, and a skinny West Nile (with an extra shot of blindness, no lumps).

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ha — I've built up my immunity by listening to Glenn Beck in the morning.

  • chickensmack

    Gawker is the Fox News of Funny.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Just make sure you flush first

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Cholera is the new Atkins Diet, you'll be astonished at just how quickly you shed the pounds…. and lining of your colon!

    • SwattieSwat

      I've been trying to lose some colon weight for years.

      • Barrelhse

        More Powell to you.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    But will I find love during this time?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Under the new GOP healthcare reform bill, you are entitled to one hundred years of solitude.

      • user-of-owls

        Hola Wookie y Lionel! Buendia!

    • sarjo

      All requests must go through the General. He's in his labyrinth M-F, 8-5.

  • bumfug

    I've got cholera RIGHT NOW and I still look better than Dick Cheney!

    • PublicLuxury

      Not difficult to accomplish. My cats asshole looks better than Dicky. I know you could try harder. DO OVER. See, just like when you were in 2nd grade. Be an overachiever.

      • sarjo

        Oh please! I think you mean either: "My cat's asshole" or, "My cats' assholes."

        No wonder people call us dumb libtards!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    No, but you have to unfriend Willow.

  • chascates

    Worry about hog cholera. Once it mutates with pig AIDS we're all doomed. Doomed to a separate cable channel that has the Palins 24/7.

    • sarjo

      (imagine me making snorty "hwaaank hwaaank" pig sounds, 'cause I am!!!)

  • BornInATrailer

    Vitter is going to have to boil his poo before he engages in his diaper/scat play? What a PITA (heh).

  • GOPCrusher


    • sarjo

      Even so, dear chap, all caps is uncalled for.

  • ttommyunger

    Considering all the bad karma hitting those poor people lately, I can't believe several Rightard Teevee Preachers haven't proclaimed it God's revenge on them for some real or imagined sins. Pat Roberson must be in a fucking coma to keep him away from this opportunity to prove his assholery once again. At least I hope he is, and I mean that in the shittiest possible way.

    • Negropolis

      Some talking head said it was a curse for making a pact with the devil right after this happened, so someone already has that covered.

      • ttommyunger

        I will file your report under: “I should have known”.

  • PublicLuxury

    Oh wow. This is way cool. I always wanted to get a highly communicable deadly disease other than they syphilis and herpes and gonorrhea I already have.

    Oh, BTW, I am looking for a date to the Soldiers' Ball. Give me a buzz if you're not busy and enjoy taking huge doses of penicillin.

  • PublicLuxury

    Non Snark

    The people of Haiti are in desperate circumstances. We need to do all we can to help them to recover from one disaster after another upon the plight they were already suffering. Congress (republipukes) are still blocking the federal funding promised to Haitians after the earthquake. Call your congressscritter, please.

    • sarjo

      What, we need to steal more of their kids? I want a cute one!

  • transfatz

    Cholera is so popular now that there will simply not be enough to go around this holiday season. The major producer, Haiti, is having shipping problems as labor disturbances in the cholera manufacturing sector have closed some airports and ports there. Look for tramplings at Choleramart and excessive cholera scalping on e-bay.

    • sarjo

      But the wise shopper knows that the best deals are factory-direct. While supplies at your local Choleramart cannot be guaranteed, a visit to Haiti will almost certainly yield success.

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