THE NIGHTMARE TICKET  1:13 pm November 17, 2010

Mike Bloomberg and Joe Scarborough Maybe Going To Unite For 2012 Run

by Jack Stuef

Yeah, probs.Huffington Post celebrity vag-slip blog intern Howard Fineman has heard some terrorist chatter around New York about a very interesting thing: New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg and MSNBC morning-bro Joe Scarborough running as an independent presidential ticket in 2012. Yes, Joe Scarborough. It doesn’t make much sense to us either. Scarborough denied that any serious discussion has happened, obviously because he doesn’t want to deny such an attractive idea. Bloomberg’s people didn’t respond to Fineman, obviously because it’s mortifying for any man to hear people say he’s thinking about running for president with Joe Scarborough. And that’s not the worst part of this. Some people actually told Fineman that Scarborough could run at the top of the ticket.

“Joe really wants to be the VP candidate if Mike runs,” said a source very close to the mayor. “But whether Mike feels the same way about Joe — that’s not clear.” A pro-life, pro-gun running mate is, well, a pro-life pro-gun running mate, some Bloombergers worry.

“Bloombergers”? Who the hell are these people who think about random fantasy running-mate combinations for their friend all day? A jovial crackhead patrolling the streets in front of City Hall probably told this to Fineman.

No slouch in the confidence department, the talk-show host might regard himself as the more electable, and conclude that the way to advance the independent cause would be to spend the mayor’s money — friends say Bloomberg would be willing to spend $3 to $4 billion — to get a new-age good ol’ boy into the Oval Office.

A “new-age good ol’ boy”? What does that mean? Perhaps Howard Fineman gave that delightful crackhead a quarter and took a few huffs of whatever was in his paper bag. And “$3 to $4 billion”? Does that mean Bloomberg would buy each and every American voter a new car? That’s the only way more than five people would actually vote for this ticket. [HuffPo]

 
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{ 111 comments }

Maman November 17, 2010 at 1:18 pm

I don't know, he seem down right pissy about it when he was asked this morning, but maybe that is just because of Donny Deutsch

SnarkoMarx November 17, 2010 at 1:19 pm

I'd much rather see Mika Brzezinski run than Joe. Think of all the great ways 'murkins could misspell her name.

uncuntstitutional November 17, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I'd misspell her name all over her face

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 1:19 pm

"New-age good-ol-boy" is one of those combination terms like jazz-rock or infotainment. It means that when you combine these two seemingly disparate elements, you end up with soupy, meaningless nonsense that has none of the attractive qualities of the original parts.

ManchuCandidate November 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Don't knock it. That keeps John Tesh clothed and fed.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Wow, it's worse than I thought. John Tesh is still alive?!

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 1:50 pm

I had no idea that man was still alive, much less doing anything besides living in a refrigerator box by the freeway.

PsycWench November 17, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Compassionate conservatism?

grendelg November 17, 2010 at 1:29 pm

"soupy, meaningless nonsense that has none of the attractive qualities of the original parts" is a good way to describe Joe Scarborough, so WELL DONE FINEMAN! WELL DONE INDEED!

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm

It's also a good description of the Huffington Post.

Rotundo_ November 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Makes me think of Larry the Cable Guy going vegan and driving a Suburban with a lift kit and 34 inch off road tires while listening to Enya with crystals and dream catchers hanging in the rear view mirror. Pretty repulsive no?

Negropolis November 18, 2010 at 2:05 am

Speaking of Larry the Cable Guy, anyone ever seen him out of character? It's HILARIOUS.

weejee November 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Can we have a Limpbaugh-Beck ticket too? Can we, can we???

CZL November 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Blubbery Blubber and the National Election?

CapnFatback November 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

The last time I had a Bloomberger, I had gas and crushing guilt for weeks.

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 1:21 pm

So a steadfastly Republican ex-member of Congress joins forces with one of the richest, most plutocratic bumfuckers in America — what part of this ticket is "Independent" exactly?

weejee November 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Same parts as Walnutz McCain's and Harried Reid's 2010 senate campaigns as an outsiders.

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 1:26 pm

BLOOMBERG/MONEY 2012!

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 1:27 pm

If MONEY will pay a visit to my bank account, hell, I'll vote for 'im.

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Money won't pay a visit to your bank account, but you can be sure that a rezoning for high rise condominiums will visit your neighborhood.

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I meant blues-y rocker Eddie Money. He won't be coming to yr. bank account, but will be coming to a casino or state fair near you!

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Would anyone with brains or common sense or anything but mindless ambition run for president anyway?

ShaveTheWhales November 17, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Apparently, running for office has, for the ridiculously rich, replaced coke as God's way of telling you you have too much money.

Lucidamente1 November 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm

As long as they make the announcement on Lori Klausutis's birthday, I'm ok with it.

PublicLuxury November 17, 2010 at 1:40 pm

The scar is dirty on Lori Klausutis. Lori is going to bury the scar. Bloomberg is not going to waste perfectly good money on a corrupt person named after coffee. He would much rather just build his own White House and run things from NYC.

slappypaddy November 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm

bloomberg's such a tease. he's just like palin, except he has brains, capability, and a modicum of integrity (no more than a modicum is necessary in politics and business, and many get by with less).

bitchincamaro2 November 17, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Similar "I know better than you, nasally whine" though. By 2012, Palin may actually have more monie$, too!

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Outrageous/stupid rumors like this make for good clickbait on HuffPo, which is a ladies' journal about the diseases of barnyard animals, I think.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Soooo mean to Khloe and Khourtney and Khrakhead.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm

How can you say that when just yesterday they had pictures of Scarlett Johanssen in a bathing suit? Plus: Nora Ephron's epic whining.

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I tend not to believe things like this until Glenn Beck has issued a prophesy.

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 1:38 pm

"And then I beheld a great King of Israel, and at his side a giant fire-breathing BEAST, whose hair was like SALT and PEPPER and whose co-host was drunk on MIMOSAS."

LionelHutzEsq November 17, 2010 at 2:52 pm

I truly wish I had come up with that myself.

SteveMcCroskey November 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm

new-age good ol’ boy

They misspelled beady-eyed shitweasel.

kenlayisalive November 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

ahahhaaaaa. win.

Texan_Bulldog November 17, 2010 at 1:24 pm

I say they do it just so Joe can throw a hissy fit when someone asks him about his dead intern.

harry_palmer November 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm

A “new-age good ol’ boy" is someone who's done coke off a dead intern's ass and is still known as "pro-life." Thought you knew that.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Sure…why not? Why the fuck not?

HistoriCat November 17, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Stop stealing my campaign slogan!

HELisforHEL November 17, 2010 at 2:52 pm

HistoriCat/Rent Is Too Damn High 2012!

ifthethunderdontgetya November 17, 2010 at 1:27 pm

It's quite important that our repressed plutocrats receive some representation in government, at long last.
~

Jukesgrrl November 17, 2010 at 1:35 pm

This proves how many drug addicts there are on Wall Street.

Rotundo_ November 17, 2010 at 7:22 pm

It's the difference between renting and owning representation.

PsycWench November 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm

The resultant porn flick would not hold a candle to Nailin Paylin, I fear.

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I don't know. The titles are just ripe for the pickings:

Morning Blow
Rimberg
Scarborhole
Weekend at Lori's

PsycWench November 17, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Death of a spielsman.

Not very porny though.

BarackMyWorld November 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

The same could be said for most movies.

Not that I've seen it or anything…

Katydid November 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm

And short Joos.

Serolf_Divad November 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

And MSNBC hosts.

widestanceroman November 17, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Is this crazier than, say, Palin and whatever loon is dumb enough to be seen in public with her (cuz the media has fapped itself raw over that prospect)?

Jukesgrrl November 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Scarblah's role would be to carry Bloomberg on his shoulders at campaign stops so the crowds of voters could see him.

Rotundo_ November 17, 2010 at 7:23 pm

Sorta like Master/Blaster in Mad Max, beyond thunderdome. Joe would be perfect for the role…

neiltheblaze November 17, 2010 at 1:35 pm

They will totally wipe out John Anderson's vote total!

rocktonsam November 18, 2010 at 2:03 am

John B. Anderson, sir.

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 1:35 pm

I'm sure this is just as serious as Bloomberg's independent run in 2008 that the media loved chattering about.

Serolf_Divad November 17, 2010 at 1:36 pm

I had a Bloomberger the other day. Still prefer the McRib, though.

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Bilbergergers are more complex, satisfying, juicy, vibrant.

valgal2342 November 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

But can they beat Bristol?

Worthly Wokette Skum November 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm

We can always hope. If they do, I hope they put it on YouTube.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:17 pm

After they chain her to the over-head pipe, and arrange the Japanese camera crew, sure. With a whip or a stick? Cat'o'nine tails or scourge?

uncuntstitutional November 17, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Scarborough – Bloomberg 2012

so much forehead we'd have to call it a fivehead

OneYieldRegular November 17, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Seriously? These two? POTUS & Vice POTUS?

If you were to tell me they were trying out as partners on Dancing With The Stars, THEN you'd be talking.

HistoriCat November 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm

I would watch that.

PublicLuxury November 17, 2010 at 1:44 pm

OMG. If it is true… the jooooooooz would rule the world. (run screaming into the night). I think the joooooo mormon ticket is catchy-er. Bloomberg/Beck. BB's — they may leave a welt but they don't kill anybody.

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

The thing is, there's no reason for Bloomberg to run, which historical third party presidential candidates, particularly those who actually got significant votes, have had, some issue that neither major party was addressing. Nader ran because he thought both parties were too controlled by corporate interests; Perot, because both supported free trade, and also beaming out alien mind-control waves; John Anderson to protest the takeover of the Republicans by far-right segregationist thugs (that didn't work out too well), and both Wallace and Thurmond because neither party promised to bring back slavery. Bloomberg's got no issue to run for.

SayItWithWookies November 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm

He'll be running to correct the horrible national policy oversight of Michael Bloomberg not being president.

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 2:05 pm

What? "Big Mikey Wants His" isn't an important issue to the American people?

SorosBot November 17, 2010 at 2:16 pm

That's worked for Senate elections (see Lieberman and Murkowski), but not for President.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Balance the budget? Pull the troops out of Afghanistan before it's too late? Out of Iraq, too?

catchtheflava November 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Bloomberg is a thinly disguised autocrat who doesn't care about the middle class, working people, or the poor. He'll make the buses and trains run on time, but everything else is captive to the moneyed interests that he is a part of. Independent, my eye.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm

you know who else made the trains run on time, dontcha?

V572625694 November 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm

The way they loved 9udy!

hagajim November 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Is a Bloomburger something like a Whopper? Or maybe its just when you carry a burger in your bloomers…I guess that could be a Whopper too.

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 2:16 pm

It takes two hands to handle a Whopper.

Damn…I haven't had a Whopper in ages. Now I'm hungry.

OneDollarJuana November 17, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Just grab it with both hands and jam in in your mouth. Still hungry?

DashboardBuddha November 17, 2010 at 3:31 pm

I prefer to chew slowly.

horsedreamer_1 November 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I think it's the Mc Gangbang: two double cheese & a Mc Chicken. Remove the toppermost bun from one of the doubles, & the lowermost from the other, then place the Mc Chicken (buns & all) in between. Five patties, four buns, mayonnaise… Heavenly.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Something between a Bialystok and a Berliner, probably.

SmutBoffin November 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Eh, he has a media empire. He can make up any issue he wants. Shit, he could run on a platform to keep Four LOKO legal.

HistoriCat November 17, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Media empire worked for Silvio Berlusconi.

gurukalehuru November 17, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Huffpo just plain stone cold makin stuff up again. Did they actually ask Bloomberg or Scarborough?
Also, you wanna know a sure fire, guaranteed way to not get your comment printed at Hufflepuff? Mention Lori Klausitis. (spelling?) Seriously, I was even coy about it, I said it's a proper name and the initials are L.K., and boom, down the ol' memory hole with the guru k's comment.
I suspect Arianna and morning Joe got a thing goin on.

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 2:07 pm

I hope that thing is a stomach flu, because otherwise ewwwww.

jim89048 November 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm

She either needs to learn English, or get a jerb in tech support. I can't understand a thing that comes out of her mouth.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:22 pm

I thought it was usually older Greek men and younger women, not older Greek women and younger men….

axmxz November 17, 2010 at 2:07 pm

The country is not ready for an ultra-rich white President.

horsedreamer_1 November 17, 2010 at 2:14 pm

This is surely a recipe for… GRIDLOCK!

Office_39 November 17, 2010 at 2:18 pm

New Yorkers? Forgetaboutit.

johnnyzhivago November 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Face the fact, America is going to take the Lemming walk with Sarah Palin in 2012. I can feel it coming.

The stupid b*tch is going to wink her way into power, you betcha. The average American is going to be all "oh well, Obama didn't work out too well, why not give that Palin gal a chance, she seems like a real smart cookie…"

HELisforHEL November 17, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Good gawd you may be right. But I sure as hell hope you aren't.

Acrewood November 17, 2010 at 2:34 pm

For more news and commentary, check out The Bond Project at http://www.thebondproject.blogspot.com

Fare la Volpe November 17, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Every time I watch that show, Myka looks positively miserable. She got into the biz to be a legitimate journalist, and instead she's playing second banana to a big-headed blowhard, because apparently sheer journalistic integrity stands as a "liberal" counterpoint now.

jim89048 November 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm

That said, I'd hit that. Oh, and poop also.

Limeylizzie November 17, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Jewborough 2012.

horsedreamer_1 November 17, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Let's raise a toast to Brooklyn. L'Chaim!

EdFlintstone November 17, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Did Huff Post take a few hour break from their Obama sucks headlines? C'mon Arianna admit it , you want your 300,000 tax break.

GOPCrusher November 17, 2010 at 3:50 pm

It worked well for Pat Buchanan.

Beetagger November 17, 2010 at 3:51 pm

I'm voting for the dead intern.

seppdecker November 17, 2010 at 3:58 pm

I think that's why Bloomy let Joe have the top of the ticket. Scarborough has rage issues.

gurukalehuru November 17, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Morning Jew

BornInATrailer November 17, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Have they learned nothing? This running against FetusBush/Trig will just split the vote.

MLite November 17, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Quick, someone tell Bloomberg that he's planning to run for President, apparently he hasn't gotten the message.

mereoblivion November 17, 2010 at 4:18 pm

"Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme," anyone? (Or is that unFair?)

Worthly Wokette Skum November 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm

Are you voting for Scarborough Joe?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Remember he's a hack with a show.
And the Jew is no Prez of mine.

chascates November 17, 2010 at 4:28 pm

SHIT! Bloomberg running could lead to a Palin presidency according to: http://nymag.com/news/politics/69130/

"Why do you think Barack Obama is being so nice to Michael Bloomberg? "

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:10 pm

"A “new-age good ol’ boy”? What does that mean?"

He speaks in tongues while handling pure-bred rattlesnakes, then has Wild Turkey instead of moonshine in the bushes with the sisters after church.

ttommyunger November 17, 2010 at 7:19 pm

The only difference between Bloomy and Scarry, one of them is a midget and the other one can afford to have someone else kill his interns for him.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:23 pm

I gave up on TV sometime in the mid-70's. That's why I'm the man I am today!

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Works for Berlusconi!

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi November 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Neocon Scarborough & his yes girl Mika
third party will not be hijacked this time

el_donaldo November 17, 2010 at 2:29 pm

Ah, the amusement park circuit. That's when you know they've got nothing to fall back on.

CapnFatback November 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm

"BLOOMBERG/MONEY: TWO CANDIDATES FOR PARADISE"
"BLOOMBERG/MONEY: TAKE THEM TO THE WHITE HOUSE TONIGHT"
"BLOOMBERG/MONEY: THINK YOU'RE IN LOVE"
"BLOOMBERG/MONEY: AMERICA HOLD ON"

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