Politics news: Willow and Bristol Palin are teenagers from podunk Alaska and are not brilliant honors students. So they are on The Facebook, where they are easily led into angry Facebook “flame wars” when people say their mother’s horrible teevee show is horrible. So, surprise! Willow uses gay slurs and calls people “fat” and uses other “f-bombs” when she is talking about teenagers she does not like! And then Bristol comes in, all adult-like, to tell people, “I’m successful because I’m a hard ass worker.” It’s not clear whether this simply means she works hard (at being the daughter of a famous hick?) or if she is actually employed as something called an “ass worker,” but you can read this conversation for yourself and feel bad for spending part of your adult life looking at the inane words of children that some other adult took the time to record from Facebook.
Ugh, why did we read this crap? We really did read this crap.
Sources connected to the Palin family tell us … Willow normally doesn’t use this type of language, but she felt like she was being attacked along with her family. The source added it was the baby bear defending Mama Grizzly.
That’s it, your editor quits. Nope, can’t do this anymore. [TMZ/HuffPo]
{ 277 comments }
Like a fukking episode of "Roseanne."
Nah…the Palins have been using the same older daughter since the series began.
Todd is no John Goodman!
Roseanne was infinitely more literate, and the characters weren't complete idiots. That's the distinction.
More like "Married With Children", except there's no equivalent of Bud who was actually smart.
well spoken, Matt
yeah, she's an ass worker. they're everywhere these days.
Really? I thought Vitter had rounded them all up and was keeping them in a secret warehouse somewhere.
What a bunch of retards.
The "Special" Network. (Or The Social Netwonk?)
Hey hey, the PC (Palin Correct) term is "Trigs."
You know, in the 50's the New Yorker used to run ads for Carter's Trigs. "Trigs" were underwear for men.
linky
I wish I got this many comments on my facebook page
Jack, you need a vacation. I hear Alaska is nice this time of year. . .
Looks like these kids need a Four Loko Summit.
Technology makes Punch N Judy puppet fights even more awesome!
I hear "stop the hating and get to masterbating" is the new "give peace a chance".
Might have put Christine O' Donnell over the top!
The family values just come shining through.
Having seen pics of Bris, she might be a worker but not a hard ass.
I think she meant to type "lard". Lard ass.
If so then Sir Mixalot would approve.
The window of nubility for red-neck females is usually 14-18 or so. She's past her prime.
Well, now Willow is the hot one. This is good news for McCain.
Don't you mean Letterman?
To think this could
have beenstill be our first family.Who wants to take bets that while Sarah Palin is president, Willow will do at least one paternity test episode on Maury Povich's show? (And mom will be in the audience, a proud mama Grizzly, rooting for her daughter).
Don't even joke about this.
Where are we all fleeing to again?
Costa Rica. Having no military, they're not very good at war stuff. But the weather's great and the beaches are gorgeous.
Andiami Wonkaratti! Sounds like Floriduh without the "duh". I'm in.
Awesome…and I already know a song for our colony:
Champagne don't drive me crazy
Cocaine don't make me lazy
Ain't nobody's business but my own
Candy is dandy and liquor is quicker
You can drink all the liquor down in Costa Rica
Ain't nobody's business but my own
Wonkette's Island:
No tweets, no Palin, no Facebook page
Not a single scooter fatty
Just a bunch of worthly brethren
Skummy as can be
If Costa Rica's socialized health care system is good enough for Rush Limbaugh, it's good enough for me!
Awww, crap…that's right. Rush likes the Costa Rican Rent Boys. Buzzkill
Costa Rica's gonna suck when it's full of grumpy Wonkettes.
New Zealand. Scenery is just as good, plus the beaches and surfing, and I'd take the Orcs long before I'd take these Alaskans.
Conveniently, the gentleman & accused baby-father's name is Andy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua4m8Gkv93k
Jerry Springer Show! Levi will be the pappy again!
I was predicting the show would evaporate the minute Ma Griz-tard gets back in the campaign cycle, but now I start to think it may be the opposite… and I really, really hope.
Who knew so much of America's youth had studied, absorbed and learned to utilize the mechanics of Algonquin Round Table badinage?
We really have become a country of Thunderdome Mooks.
Fuck you
I'm a jus' gonna do some fixin' of Miss Willow's grammar here:
"You talked shit about my mom's show 'Dumb Ass'."
Yes, that sounds about right.
Apparently no one has ever explained to them that punctuation is their friend. I guess their Mom was too busy fixing Amurrica.
I heard they're now filming a 3D feature, with Sarah's gleaming rictus and Bristol's giant thighs popping right out of the screen.
Willow twats are not news. Please close the Alaska News Bureau. Let them huff gas in peace.
Ah, this is what the electronic age is all about — bringing people together so they can fight over imagined slights as though their trailers were next to one another's.
Inspirational.
I've seen kids have flame wars sitting next to each other in the backseat of a car. I guess the conversation doesn't elevate itself even if conducted in the back seat of a Rolls Royce equipped with big-ass snow tires.
Quoting Willow "But what I've seen pictures of, your disgusting…" Has she been in contact with Brett Favre?
"…your disgusting…" Your disgusting WHAT? Why do these Palins never finish their sentences?!?
If you like, Willow, I can send you pictures of my disgusting.
I don't get it. This isn't much different from what's on my Bookfacee every day. Except I don't go insulting the baby daddies.
Awesome! This is a preview into the 2012 Presidential debates, illiterate flame wars on Facebook.
"Quit refudintan' the factx, your black and Muslin"
Some people never worked a day in their life,
Don't know what work even means.
She means "ass worker," as anybody who has seen her drag that dumptruck of hers across a dance floor can tell you. It's hard work!
and when she wants to haul ass, it takes two trips!
I know several ass workers. It's a tough industry; no benefits or security to speak of, and the pay's lousy. Except for tips, of course.
Wow.
So one kid has her own meth lab.
One kid has a baby he forgot about (or it died).
One kid has Crone's disease.
One kid uses the N word like any other noun.
Nice.
And that's not even counting the daughters of the next president of the United States.
There is no hope.
Tracy is my favorite. She can drop the N because she is all over it. It's the best free speech taunt going.
I just want to thank John McCain once again for inflicting the Snow Clampetts on America.
Infecting you mean. These wads are just a virus with shoes.
Don't leave out Bill Kristol.
Hey, Jed Clampett was pretty cool. Smarter than the whole Palin clan put together!
While that's not a high bar, yeah – that's true.
Did not read that. Am so proud. The commentariat needs redder meat than this to get the juices flowing.
I'm hip with the lingo the kids use today, so I know that "tl;dr" means "too long didn't read: but that doesn't quite work here. How about "lts;dfc" for "life's too short – don't fucking care"?
Good, but u mispeled it. Should be: "lifes 2 short, don't fucken care."
you know what could bring these people together? a dance-off.
and meth.
Whatever forest these grizzlies live in, can there be a spontaneous "forest fire"? Like of Bambi proportions???
Willow is the new Bristol. She already has that hard mean used up 35 year old porn star face. I am expecting great things from this little sociopath.
And did I read correctly that her boyfriend is "Andy almond" who has "backed down before and will do it again?"
Well, she already did a $30,000 no one's home drunken house trashing. They should GED her now and not waste any more time. And Bristol should win the show and go straight to Broadway. I just want this all to be over.
These young people certainly have alot of free time on their hands. Have they not heard of "the military"?
Only when they are forced to enlist by the courts.
Was that how the oldest boy ended up in Iraq? I was hoping he'd bring a Muslim wife home, or maybe a Chaldaean (eastern rite Catholic)!
They're afraid the Democrats will let the gayz in.
bully family bullies
I couldn't read it all, it's just too…too…
I has a continuing sad for this country.
Dang I wish I hadn't canceled my cable. This show looks entertaining while I eat my cold ramen noodles!
Try Shin Ramyun, gourmet poverty food.
i could only get thru about six comments.
facebook is the fifth circle of hell.
Turned it (F-book) off a few months ago. Somehow, life goes on.
also: self-awareness and grace thy name is palin.
I want my 5 minutes back.
You have more tenacity than I. About one second of this crap, and I'd seen enough. What idiots.
NO REFUNDS
Thank you for using the new Facebook LifeDrainer App, now with 75% more soulcrushing Palins!
Willow is clearly perplexed at the hostility toward her physical appearance. She considers it a real chins-scratcher.
"Your so gay, your a faggot."
Goddamnit, use a contraction properly!
They're too busy HAVING contractions..
Pregnancy or meth withdrawals?
Yes.
Forget the contractions, I just want them to use contraceptives.
Her mother said "No boys upstairs." That should do it or a Coke douche or not laying down. All will work if you also pray and practice absentness for an hour. Oh, wait.
They don't know how, besides { its they're murican rites so stfu librul elidist]
This dialogue reminds me of "Dawson's Creek" but without the plot, characters, message, decent writing, grammar, attractive teens, or marginal social value. Sort of like Ionesco performed by a third-grade drama club.
Sort of like Ionesco performed and written by a third-grade drama club. In Special Ed. In Appalachia.
This is also how I have described the White Stripes's early work, though replace 'Ionescu' with 'Led Zeppelin'.
Willow's got an illustrious career in Alaskan politics headed now.
I think she might have a job in political PR. Someone has to write the misspelled, incoherent advertisements that reach out to Alaska's meth-addicts and gas-huffers.
Somebody should do a staged reading of this. It calls to mind "Inherit the Wind."
Brilliant suggestion! I've seen some stuff at the local theaters that wasn't nearly this good.
Conan having William Shatner do dramatic readings of @SarahPalinUSA was awesome, too.
My eyes started bleeding about four posts in….but I kept reading because I couldn't resist….is this the way all snowbilly grifters talk?
I'm sold! Where do I sign up? From now on, Palin 2012 is my number one priority. Can you imagine four years of this stuff? Well, maybe two…
You think that now but I'm betting it's like thinking (OK, 20 damn years ago), "I can fight Mike Tyson for 2 minutes to get a million dollars." Next thing you know, you're on the floor wondering when the world will stop circling around and they'll stop all those bells which are ringing.
And "Where is my ear?" also.
The scary thing is that the world never fully stops spinning in that sickening way and the bells just get louder.
18 months that's the limit.
I couldn't get through all of it without an aneurysm. But I think the take-aways are nothing new: 1 — The Palin kids have all the communication skills and judgment one would expect from inbred hillbillies. 2 — You fuck with any one of the Palin mouth-breathers and you're going to get pretend trampled by the massive, thundering thighs of the whole herd.
That's the way it worked when I lived in booneyville which is one reason why bullies picked on the new kids (nobody wanted to have angry 6'4" 250lb cousins to pound your brains in on a daily basis.)
It explains why I got beat on till I learned to fight dirty.
As the family continues to believe it's own hype, it won't get any better.
I got pummeled by an enormous hayseed daily in high school. Up until I found two the same size to have a chat with him while they were spotting him in weight training. No, not a macho solution — but I still have all of my teefusess, which I use more than male posturing anyway.
I like the part where the family spokesperson blamed the other kid for being called a faggot.
You tangle with Juniper, Tiretrack or Treebranch and you can expect the full might of the Palin spin machine to ass-rape you and your reputation. It's his own fault that he's only 14 — examples need to be made.
According to Virginia Thomas and the Rand Paul stomper, he should apologize to Willow for that.
I sure hope President Palin logs out of her "Predator Drone Targeting" app every night – hate to have little Willow get a hold of that!
Oh my fucking word. Think about it folks…Had McCain won, the DC would have become like Dog Patch. I'm middle-aged, I've been around a bit, I lived through the friggin' cold war and the Reagan Revolution, but this shit boggles my mind like nothing else. Words fail.
They make the Johnsons of Texas look like Cape Cod royalty.
y'know, i blame me for this. unlike jack — or maybe just like jack — i get a hilarious hump day thrill from reading the trashy illiterate screed of alaskan high (how high) society's illiterate halfwit almost-grown vag droppings. i know this likewise makes me a morally reprehensible person, this lowest of the lowbrow schadenfreude, but OH MY GAWD do i feel so much better about myself and my own kid now, to the point that i will NOT be dropping a deck into my boss's coffee cup or getting all shouty at random employees, so thanks for that, jack!
I blame Todd Palin and his dick.
There I said it.
"Your" funny.
Wow, you are like the me of your workplace. I salute you, sir or madam.
Curse you Mark Zuckerberg.
And, every one grew a little dumber for having had that exist on the internet.
Can you envision the Teatard brain explosion that would occur if Sasha or Malia were revealed to say anything approximating this level of outh Parkesque dialogue? Or were to use a term such as "cracker" in any way not referring to a recipe for Ritz mock apple pie?
But its okay to insult someone viciously for suggesting they don't like a TV show your family is foisting on America. And a white girl.
Gotta luv that the term "nigger filled faggotry" doesn't even raise an eyebrow.
Damn, beat me to it. I was going to note that even in this Written Scow Barge, there lies a kernel of spot on social commentary.
The Cosby Show is best described as nigger filled faggotry. Ok, technically I suppose it should be "mulatto filled faggotry," but still.
Isn't it about time we heard what Megs McCain thinks about all this? Surely she has an opinion or two. Dirty, sexy opinions.
Who else but these two give voice to Calorically Endowed Americans?! Who else?!
What would the right's reaction be if one of the Obama daughters used this language/interacted with these types of people even once, let alone on a regular basis?
I'd also like to commend Bristol for using the term baby daddy so adroitly. But what is truly startling (but not, really) is how these girls have that severe, vengeful, angry, victimized, and vindictive personality-thing down pat. It's like they learned it somewhere.
I'm impressed that the youth of Alaska have adopted the attitude and speech of thug life without losing their basecoat of bigotry.
Nicely put. Thuggery spreading to the white hinterlands is not going to be pretty. I think its time to plug the intertubes, or at least the ones connected to Alaska.
I can only imagine what supper time around the Palin Family Dining Room Table is like.
They compare their day's list of Haters to be forwarded to the Conservatives 4 Palin and Tea Party list serves.
Ughhh…I just fucking hate the Palins–every last one of them! Isn't there a volcano that can erupt up there?
And that picture of Bristol pretty much explains why she's single. You gotta be pretty gross when even Levi won't do you anymore.
God, I love it. Almost makes me want to have a FB page.
Almost.
Ok the feeling has passed now.
Whether you call them parvenu, arriviste or nouveax riche, the French gave us three options for labeling white trash.
"Debris blanc"
In Oklahoma we only have one term for it. And the Palins deserve it. Remember the Oscars where the various vendors were offering high class gift baskets, hoping a movie star would be seen using the handbag, or whatever, or give them a plug?
And the Snowbilly posse showed up and cleaned them out, with Bible Spice herself screeching, "Hey! Have you gotten the Lancome stuff yet?" and the bunch of them descended like vultures?
They left some vendors fuming.
Isn't that "giving them a plug," though?
Well, at least we know the kids aren't adopted.
win!
I don't know. This brings up the whole nature vs nurture arguement.
Either way, those kids are fucked.
Well we know the abstinence activist has been.
Well, to be fair, we haven't heard Trig speak yet.
Isn't it about time we heard what Megs McCain thinks about all this? Surely she has a few dirty, sexy opinions.
And Mama retard says, "No faggots upstairs."
I will thank you not to use the words "Palins" and "fill the hole" in the same sentence ever again.
This exchange is so long, it's War and Peace for educationally and culturally and brainily deprived morans. And is you're so hard to write? Seriously? Oh, Srsly. LOL. STFU. ROTFLMAO and anything else these nitwits understand.
The Palin's really are White Trash with money. If she's president, Willow and her snowbilly boyfriend will probably have their trailer house moved to the Rose Garden.
Oh you Dem's with your yore you're taxes now ewe you want syntax!!!!!!1111
If you put all the Palins in a giant apple press and squeezed the brains and class out of them, you wouldn't fill a Dixie cup. On the plus side, you'd have a whole pile of smushed Palins.
The black rectangles are the most literate parts of that Facebook exchange.
Classy. I see the vicious, hot-headed vomit of hypocritical self-righteousness is blooming in glittering glory on these wilted plant clippings.
I fully support Hollywood's campaign to exploit this proudly uneducated freak-show filth for our ridicule and eat them alive, babies and all, au jus.
If I'd known that Willow used that kind of language I never would have elected her President.
Just to reassure my many friends and well-wishers, Prommie is not the man in New Hampshire who shot his television last night during DWTS and then engaged in an armed stand-off with police, over Bristol Palin's performance. Its was close, though.
I thought you were kidding! http://www.tmz.com/2010/11/17/bristol-palin-danci…
Serious as a heart attack; ain't it a hoot? And I'm the one voted "most likely to go batshit Elvis and shoot up the TV."
Man is a goddam hero. Except for the shooting at his wife part.
I could feel my IQ dropping even as this page loaded in my browser…..
The Palins define Trailer Park. They so remind me of My Name is Earl, except the trash characters on My Name is Earl are likeable.
How dare you talk to Chinz McGillicutty that way.
Oh… so the Palins really do have one black friend.
Willow professed to not knowing her. So, nope. Still not a one.
I suspect all the Palins have a "black friend" they carry around their purses. And not a little one, either.
"The two most famous inbred social parasites in the world just got engaged"
Bristol and Levi are back on again?
The other ones. Hope Willy wiped the blood off his mom's ring before he gave it to her. What? Too soon?
No, in England.
Agreed we in the U.S. are sadly ill informed about all the other inbred social parasites around the world. Sometimes we can be self-centered pricks, not realizing that we don't have a monopoly on being douchebags.
Classy. I see the vicious, hot-headed vomit of hypocritical self-righteousness is blooming in glittering glory on these wilted plant clippings.
I'm glad they're foolishly embracing Hollywood eating them alive, babies and all, au jus.
I'm totally sold now on the "real America" way to raise kids – they make Clinton or John Kerry's daughters look so bad.
Wasn't Willow that adorable little girl that Sarah dragged out on the ice in order to prevent the Pittsburgh hockey fans from booing (fail)?
They grow
upold so fast.Philly fans. But we'll boo anything.
Maybe that was Piper.
Or Tank. Tugg? Wait…Trim?
Screw it.
Although I’m late to this party (as usual), there’s no way in hell you’re going to get me to read that Palin facebook crap.
Facebook was invented for morons to express themselves.
I am confident that, if Adolph Hitler had seen this chain of correspondence, he would have totally given up on that whole "master race" thing.
Canceled my FB account yesterday. Just in time, I think.
A part of me died reading that thread. The part of me that does that thing that has to do with, um, thinking and stuff.
Nice avatar and screen name. Who were you in your previous wonkette life? Or are you new to our nurturing little community?
Oh wow, I see now where Bristol (and SarahPAC) came up with her new working class meme to make her more relateable . . .
""I'm really coming into this as somebody who isn't, you know, part of the system, who obviously, you know, stands for the values of, you know, the Democratic Party," Kennedy told the Daily News in one of the interviews that the daughter of President John F. Kennedy conducted with the media over the weekend.
"I know how important it is to, you know, to be my own person. And, you know, and that would be obviously true with my relationship with the mayor."
"Displaying her notorious shyness during the 30-minute chat, the mother of three, author and public education advocate was pleasant, but spoke softly and rarely made eye contact. Her speech was often punctuated with extra "you knows" and "ums.'"
"I'm not as shy as everybody makes me out to be," she said.
Longtime lurker, fairly recent commenter. It is true, btw. I was actually born in a mobile home.
Welcome!
After reading that, I think we can all agree Bristol danced her way into America's heart.
The one that really gets me is "Imran"–could this kid be any more of a suck-up brown-noser? In fact, almost all of them backtrack whenever they're called on their insults–"Oh, I wasn't talking to YOU, I meant HIM!"
Pakistani footballer?
Sarah's wrong. This exchange shows that the world, or her part of it anyway, most definitely does NOT need more Trigs. Wasilla school district must've saved a ton of money though, what with only needing short buses.
Why do Bristol and Willow hate Tre's First Amendment Right to say whatever he wants without criticism or backlash, huh?
Remember, it's ok to use slurs if you feel you're being attacked. Just ask Michael Richards!
I got too bored by teh stupid to read all the way through, but put this down in the "From the Mouth of Bristol" Hall of Fame:
"Because I'm pre-marital sex?"
BWA HA HA HA HA. Yes, Bristol, you "are" the very concept pre-marital sex. Sounds about right.
I am become pre-marital sex.
Jesus Christ! My IQ just dropped by 15 points. Thanks, Wonkette.
Who cares–your p-score looks faaabulous!
With that much of a drop you're moved on to the Teh Gawker.
Thank you, drive through.
RE: The person she called fat. I was looking for a response along the lines of, "of course I'm fat you silly slattern. Blind people know I'm fat…Trig knows I'm fat. What are you missing?"
HOW DO YOU TELL WHO IS TALKING TO WHOM
YOU CANT IS WHY IS FUNNY
Future anthropologists are gonna have a difficult time sorting this shit out. Prehistoric cavemen types were clear communicators compared to this brood of lackwits.
Why didn't this "Tre" guy comment about Willow's horrible "Whip My Hair" song? Then again, it is mean to make fun of the black Palin.
NO ONE in this conversation knows the difference between your/you're, their/they're/there, or really how to use an apostrophe at all. Should we start a charity airlift of punctuation marks to Alaska?
Airlift a punctuation mark in the middle of that tribe, and you'll get a white trash remake of The Gods Must Be Crazy.
There is only one logical response: Man shoots TV over Bristol Palin dance http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101117/ap_on_en_tv/u…
Keep it quiet, but I heard that was Prommie!
'Wonketteer Shoots Laptop Over Palin Facebook "News" Post'
TWO kids Willow.
Your sister had two kids.
So far.
Imran is one of the "good ones".
& Bristol needs to watch out with the dismissive use of "faggot". The way she's going, by 30 — if not earlier — her best hope for a social life will be being the gays's fat chick friend.
&, hey, it worked for the cottage-cheese assed Metallica obsessive I knew, once. The gays liked her so much, in fact, even my (to the best of my knowledge) breeder friends were falling down to bang her.
How does "gays like you" lead to "straights want to bang you?"
Men are stupid, & my friends seeing all these other men tripping over themselves to cozy up to this girl, they got "sperm competition" stuck in their heads & knew, just knew, they'd have to bang her, first.
They forgot all those tripping men were gay, also.
Sasha, Malia, Chelsea, Amy, and heck, even the Ford, Nixon, Reagan "kids" have more class and are/were presidential worthy.
Yes, I neglected to mention the Bush kids along with the offspring of Palin. There is a huge gulf between the Palin and Bush Families and the rest.
If my kid acted that way on FB or off, he would be cut off from the computer so quick AFTER a detailed apology to all involved.
Dude, nuh uh! Malia and Sasha totally do stuff like this all the time. It is "faggot" this and "fuck" that. It is how CLASSY people act! This is how I'm gonna raise my kids. Also, Chelsea used to post to USENET about how Newt Gingrich was such a "gaywad." Long tradition of well-raised children doing this stuff.
The mainstream media just won't report it because they're in the tank!
And hell, the Palin brood makes the Bush girls look like they have the class of Queen Victoria by comparison. Even when they're drunk.
There's no way I'm reading that drivel. Summarize, plz.
Here's the summary: "Eff you." " No, eff you!"
A: "I don't like dancing with the stars"
B: "UR FAGGOT."
The end.
I admit, I spit up coffee somewhere around: and [sic] applies pretty much every other word so I'll leave it out.
Johnathan: Dani shutup, just cause you got away with running a meth lab you think your all baddass.
…
Matt: Bitch if I remember right you were grabbin my ass in wrestling practice. and very far from bisexual, I know I don't have a kid, maybe because I know what a fucking condom is.
…
Bridgette: umm, matt you did have a kid…
Several of these posters could be Wonketteers. We should invite them. Bring in some new blood and all that.
Still classier than the Bush twins. At least when they are sober.
Somehow, my only takeaway is: thank God there's no record of the dumb shit I said when I was 16.
Thank God there's no record of the dumb shit I said when I was 30.
"Willow normally doesn’t use this type of language"
Oh puleeze. She better watch out or the Baby Jeebus will shut down her Facebook account.
Welcome to Real Merka. Jesus himself loves these texts and if around today would text just like this "Pontius stfu. Your such a f**got."
✌ Barabbas likes this.
True. One of Pilate's best friends was Biggus Dickus.
I haz a sad
Tre Black Rectangle 2012!
I got no comment. I'm too busy trying to invent something wonderful that teenage chicks will use to talk shit about faggots and fatness and fucking their phony hockey husbands.
Well, according to Mark Zuckerberg the ideal concept pitch should fit on a Post-it note, and that's just… *scribble* Yep. You're good.
Waitaminute. "Matt and Tre"? This is all just elaborate research for a South Park episode, isn't t?
What a surprise, several children of the arrogant, meanspirited illiterate, hillbilly twat are themselves arrogant, meanspirited illiterate mini-twats. I'm not sure how many times one can make this comment, but basically apples, falling, trees, etc.
Oh, also, apparently aforementioned tree has been going around talking about how little Obama was vetted, and how much elevating this unvetted cipher into the public sphere has hurt our republic. (via Sully)
These Palins: every one of them is a pure class-act, and we give them all the free advertising space anyone could ever want.
too fucking retarded; didn't read.
Once again I give sincere thanks that I never spawned. The Palins are human kudzu.
I CAN HAZ GIANT SOLAR FLARE NAU PLZ?
Answering phones in that Dermatologists office was super hard ass work and sucked because she couldn't read up on grammer and whatnot. Besides, according to DWTS and the new Palin meme, everything wrong with Bristol the single mom is that it's all Levi's fault anyway because he got her pregnant like she asked him to (twice, maybe even thrice and she could perhaps have a fetus jar lying around somewhere.)
If we can't identify a Teabagger solely on looks, we only need to look at their pounded out spelling, their thirsty hunt for extreme umbrage and don't expect stony silence or classy retorts.
Willow is 16, Bristol is 20. They both sound like 12-year-olds on Facebook.
Look, I think Bristol Palin calling anyone fat at this point is, you know, pot-kettle.
Furthermore, it looks as if you can take the girl out of the god-awful, redneck infested, public-teat-sucking land of East Bumfuckia, but you can't take…whatever…out of the girl.
Certainly not sperm.
Bravo, authentic loud cackle.
I prefer "badonkadonk technician".
Between this and the guy shooting his tv over Bristol, this Palins continue to be a great gift from heaven's meth lab.
Wonder how the Conservatives For Sarah Palin or whatever her little fan club is called, would react to the knowledge that Bible Spice's children have potty mouths?
But they will never find out this happened since their teevee boxes are full of so much hateful left-wing newz and stuff.
Cursing like this is a traditional value! Free speech in action!
At least she didn't call him a retard; that sort of thing WOULD NOT STAND in the Palin household.
Unless you're a right-wing radio host, I mean.
Can Sarah and her idiot brood please represent the Republican party in 2012? For the fat and queer slurs, laced with delightful juvenile profanity, the social conservative in me pleads, "Lord, make a way!"
I despise John McCain more every day that this family of douchebags hogs the spotlight. If not for that doddering old fart, Moosezilla would be unknown to all but the 600,000 or so who call Alaska home. Way to go, McCain, you creepy old dickhead.
No lie. He couldn't have just chosen Lieberman and lost with dignity?
Yes Bristol, you're a hard ass worker. While most of us at your age were working for minimum wage, mopping floors and cleaning restrooms at a fast food joint, you worked your ass off fucking Levi, and ka-ching—instant "star" and abstinence spokesperson. Take a break Bristol, you deserve it, for all your hard work.
Ack! I need bleach! Bleach for my eyes!
“I’m successful because I’m a fat ass worker."
Plus my mother is an unbelievable media whore.
Does the climate in Alaska have some kind of carnival funhouse effect on mirrors? Because those girls calling anyone "fat" seems a bit peculiar.
Adipose tissue, or body fat, is used for two main purposes, for energy storage and insulation, and many arctic and antarctic animals have adapted to the cold climate by evolving extra-thick layers of adipose tissue.
But they're SO cute when they're young!
Kate is a commoner, not the spawn of inbred twits.
The Jezebel body snark police will be arriving momentarily to take you into custody. Enjoy your reeducation camp, fat-shamer.
Now THIS is Sarah Palin's Alaska.
teh Palinz wuz getting pwn3d pretty g00d there 4 real. they r total n00bz at this!!!11!!!
Young Willow doesn't know the difference between "you're fat" and "your fat." What kind of crappy education are they handing out up there in alaska??
She's successful because she worked dat ass hard.
Well I for one am extremely proud to count the Palins as fellow 'Merikans. The epitomize the debased place we now all call home, use language we can relate to and boy oh boy can they dance. Even if Ma Snowbilly never makes it to the Maison Blanche, they'll always be our first family. Long Live The Palins! Media goldmine!
Does Willow pat her brother's head with spit that comes from this mouth?
So I'm watching the Sarah Palin show RIGHT NOW, and BARFFFFFFFFFFING EVERYWHERE.
Hard-ass worker = beer bar wh*re?
She doesn't seem to spend much time with the kid. Is Willow the baby-sitter? Or some random person from Meth Maw's brood?
I know it's not the most substantive response to reading that, but the thing I wanted to scream by the end was:
YOU'RE
Indeed. And the PALINS need no apostrophe, also.
They're what the world needs, since the US won't be able to attack any more countries when they're done.
The cunt hairs don't fall very far from the cunt.
It was a baby bear protecting a momma grizzly? Sometimes I wonder if the Palin's are all secretly burly gay men really into leather.
Trashy Facebook kids are trashy.
There used to be an icon for this. I believe it was :|
If Levi cares for Tip or whatever at all, he should sue for custody immediately; and the premier of "Sarah Palin's Alaska" should be indisputable proof that that family is not fit to raise any children.
I love how "Tracy" stuck her head in to let everyone know how entertaining the whole thing was.
Tracy is my hero.
"…what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
As an Arizonan, I want to extend my thanks to Sen. McCain. He can't imagine legalizing a Mexican kid who is college bound and does well in school, but he foisted these morons into our collective brains.
I bet Cindy McCain is wishing she'd never taken Sarah shopping.
oh my fucking slut Bristol and Palin
my slut Bristol let me bang your fine ass
Dorothy Parker was an alcoholic, suicidal, multiple divorcee. Something for us to look forward to?
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