- Heartbroken liberals sobbed quietly in a corner after they found out that Barack Obama wanted to “talk” with John Boehner and his army of Republican Oompa Loompas — because everyone knows “let’s talk” is secret Beltway/truck stop code for meth-fueled group sexytime. John Boehner said he was really looking forward to bipartisan experimentation with Obama, in the most sexual way possible, but now Republicans are playing all “hard to get” and have indefinitely postponed this hawt meet-up! #1 Best Bra Padding The Politico reports that Republicans got cold feet because they are still extremely angry at Obama for “crashing” their GOP bull session in Baltimore, way back when. The thing is: Republicans actually invited Obama to come join their lame retreat. Whoops! What will it take to get these Powerful Leaders to sit in a room together, so that Obama can give Republicans whatever they want? [The Caucus/TPM]
- Murkowski is now leading by more than 10,000 votes. Joe Miller is acting all butthurt and demands a recount, because apparently “Alaska’s computerized voting system is suspect.” But also Joe Miller is a compulsive liar. [ADN]
- Oh, now we get to stay in Afghanistan until at least 2014. Hooray for endless war. [McClatchy]
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So… when do you think the orange one is going to try to shut down gubbiment?
I'd give it 8 months.
Edited: because I realized there is no point when Boner is not being a dick.
Shutter Down is the new Gitter Done. Woot!
I wish. Remember how well that went over after the "Republican Revolution" in 1995. I'm looking forward to an electorate collectively shuddering and gasping "Good God, what the hell have we done???".
That assumes they are smart enough to understand what it all means.
and that they can turn themselves away from watching Bristol "sparkle".
In the immortal words of Mr. Natural, "don't mean shit."
Mr Natural is a wise – if smelly – man.
http://www.mrnatural.net/
I'd look forward to that too, but it won't happen. Instead, millions of enraged teabaggers will froth at the mouth and scream about how the librul Democrats have shut down the government. Fox and the rest of the right-wing media will report that this is the case, and therefore it shall become Truth.
I didn't think about the fact that Fox News didn't exist in its current format in 1995. Crap. You're probably right. I'll have to console myself by anticipating how the incipient ban on earmarks seems so wonderful to teabaggers until their states' pet projects come to a halt. My sister is married to a former lobbyist; according to him the job of a state representative is to bring home money, jobs and status. hard to do that without earmarks.
FOX News launched in '96, & became an almost instant success — I remember all the closet-cases at my college, just a few years hence, drawn as moths to a flame by the FNC — but from day one, it's never been what it could have been. To wit: say what one will about Chris Matthews, but there was a chance he — & not the even more blithering O'Reilly — could have been the face of FOX News's primetime line-up. Back in '94, when FOX was still Afro-American comedies (Living Single, Martin) & variations on white-trash (The Simpsons, Married… with Children) & didn't have the NFL, there was a little show called Front Page. It was a newsmagazine, a bit like Dateline NBC, that featured reporting from Ron Reagan, Jr., & Josh Mankiewicz, plus commentary from Mike Lupica & Chris Matthews. So, we know Matthews was under contract to FOX, in '94. But, when Front Page got dropped, & there was no cable arm of FOX, yet, to which to migrate, Matthews ended up jumping to CNBC. & so, when FOX finally did go cable, they had to take second-best (worser?) in the former Inside Edition host to spearhead their channel.
Again… maybe I've just become atomically cynical, but they won't actually stop the pork. Oh, they'll ban the use of the TERM "earmarks," but they'll just come up with some other term for it, such as "individual states' rights liberty Jeebus FREEDUMB gold standard monies".
Poor girl. You're still operating on the "glass half full" paradigm, aren't you? You need to realize that in our current climate, the objective is to make the glass "all empty" so you can fill it again, repeating the cycle as necessary.
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Sarah Connor knew that the machines were evil…Joe Miller does too.
Awwwww… Whassamata Joe? Why so sad? I thought you Teabagger types were supposed to be real men, not some bearded crybaby.
Not that Alaskan Princess Lisa whatsherfuckface isn't much better.
Lisa can't cry. Her tear ducts are sewn shut.
As for Joey, well "Tears of a Clown" comes to mind for some reason.
"so that Obama can give Republicans whatever they want?"
Excuse me, but when hasn't Barry been pretty much giving Republicans whatever they want?
Republicans are commie, Muslin, socialists?!!!??11!!?
He did give us our healthcare reform and managed to push through some sort of finance reform. Sure, neither seems all that effective, but even token gestures show that he isn't giving it out to the Republicans all the time.
Once Obama gives in to them, suddenly it's not what they want. Republicans are sort of like spoiled fifteen year olds on a family vacation.
OK, so maybe the "records" and "documents" and "public statements by Mike Pence a few weeks beforehand" show that Obama was invited, but The Narrative says he crashed the meeting, so the Narrative wins. Duh. I thought you guys were, like, journalists or something.
I have hated that greasy, flexing asshole The Narrative ever since he told all his boys that Veracity was a lousy lay and punched that poor reporter gal in the face. That's why I don't watch "D.C. Shore" anymore.
Mike Allen is totally Vinny. Completely negligible to the story, but, somehow, still there.
Didn't Vinny have a big cock, though, according to Snookie? Well, maybe Scarbourough knows something we don't.
(Ol' Joe likes it in the pooper.)
Seriously. After all, didn't the Narrative just win a midterm election? It would be arrogant to let facts and records determine anything after a mandate like that.
That Republican "first date" with Obama will be U.S. America getting fucked up the ass without even dinner and a move. Count on it.
But, will we at least get a reach-around?
Please. Wey're getting it dry.
MOVIE, stupid.
Oops sorry about the thumb-down. I'll thumb up the original.
I want Barry and The Tan Man to enter a room, spend a few hours discussing the future of our nation, and Barry to come out with a streak of pumpkin and Boehner to be as pale as a lost tourist in Detroit at 2 am.
I voted for the scary black guy…when do we get the scary black guy?
I bet Boehner is a power bottom
Boner and the boys now have to come up with what they are "for", rather than what they are against – which is "everything". It could take them a good year and a half to come up with something other than "tax cuts for oligarchs".
Tax cuts are the answer to all of life's problems. Once you realize this and embrace it, you will achieve a rich fullness in your life that you can only envy right now. That and a lobotomy and you should be able to run for Congress as a Republican.,
They are for "cutting spending and creating jobs." A very nonspecific statement that somehow creates the impression that the two things are linked, magically.
as opposed to being incompatible.
As in destroying what remains of the economy and shipping the few remaining manufacturing jobs to republican owned sex slaves in the Marianas might be incompatible with "growing" jobs in the USAmurika? How so? I thought you just spread enough bullshit and the jobs will "grow".
dude, they are FOR Reagan, and AGAINST not Reagan.
Though, I'd say if Reagan were running now, they'd hate him because they'd think he was a Socialist elitist Californian.
Apparently the House Republican caucus is made up of 15 year old girls.
Obama just needs to convince them that he's a sexy misunderstood vampire, then.
He could cover himself in sparkles and look broody all the time. It's bound to work!
Mean 15 year old girls.
Heathers!
Mean 15 year old girls with icepicks and cleavers in their hands.
(is there an echo in here?)
……. who are on the rag 24/7.
Which explains the vampirism.
They'll make this date just as soon as they're done drawing up the articles of impeachment.
We're going to get to know Shirley Sherrod, Andrew Breitbart, & the Civil Service Code an whole lot better than any of us have the time for.
Clinton: impeached for lying about a beej.
Obama: impeached for assuming an Uwe Boll-level film-editing job demonstrated a complete & honest narrative.
But, honestly, I'd rather get played by a cut-rate U.S. American Uwe Boll than blown by a chunky JAP. So, at least Obie has that going for him.
Obama: impeached for
assuming an Uwe Boll-level film-editing job demonstrated a complete & honest narrativebeing black./fixed
Hey, Guido. Alaska’s computerized voting system isn't half as suspect as that weird face hair experiment you have going on.
And, what is up with the slicked-back, club-douche hair? How does that work once frozen to his scalp or plastered under moose pelt hats for 10 months out of the year?
As God is his witness, he thought that stuff was hair gel!
I thought Republicans heart the "butthurt", even if it is in public.
You gotta admit, though, nobody types up Republican talking points better than Politico ("you say Obama 'crashed' your summit? Ok, got it.")
But it's like they're not even trying any more.
"You say you sounded like idiots when questioning Obama because he crashed your party? OK, we can put that down. No, no one will care what we reported back then. We sure as hell don't care what we reported."
"Transitioning" out of AfPak is like moving from burning room to burning room in a house fire. Eventually you end up in a pool of molten flat screen teevee.
Which of the five stages is "transitioning?"
…and the Devil's chasing you in the halls. "Barton Fink" comes to mind.
Will the Orange Boehner just cold shut down the gubbmint like his pappy Newt did in the day, or will he merely refuse to do anything but hold endless hearings to determine why the Obama administration is not doing the peepuhls bidniss?
He's got Darrel Issa for that. Speaker Drunky McNicotineStain can shut down the gubmint and tell the American public that it will reopen for bizness once the investigations are over.
Dear Santa, (too soon?)
All I want for Christmas is a bigger set of balls for our President so that he can do unto the Repubs as they would do unto the Dems. Thanks. Enjoy the farm fresh corn syrup cookies.
Also suspect? Alaskans.
You can't tell me 80,000 people voluntarily spelled out the name of that one chick whose dad gave her a Senate seat for nothing. Half of them don't know how to spell "you're."
Sure they do, you just need to know the local dialect. For example, "yo'ure" is an Alaskan idiom for "Hello, Yuri."
When the Republicans say Obama "crashed" the Baltimore meeting, they don't mean "arrived uninvited". They mean "the President ran our arguments into a wall, and then left our caucus stumbling away from the burning remains of our failed logic." It's really a very clever little metaphor, but I'm sure the lamestream media won't give full credit to Republicans for their literary gifts.
I bet if the Repubs got all tweaky together most of them would be jumping on the Manhunt looking for someone to have sex with who isn't as gross as John Boehner.
I didn't know we still had troops in Afghanistan!
Watching CNN again?
There is no question that an Obama/GOP meeting will NOT go well for anyone.
Murkow-SKI —>> Eastern European Name???
Is it even possible that George Soros is not behind this outrage?
no. To Beck/Skousen, Soros and the various cabals (especially them Elders of Zion) that control everything are responsible for everything. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/20...
She's Polish, so that crypto-communist (don't believe the hype) Zombie John Paul II has to be involved, too.
It's time to change the symbols of the two parties from Donkey and Elephant to a tired, misshapen vagina and a large, erect dick, respectively.
Maybe a giant dick to represent the GOP isn't the best symbol. The problem I have is that they are gimungo asssholes with small dicks. Too complicated… damn.
But a small, erect penis would be difficult to convey, since size would be relative. Maybe put a quarter next to it? But yes, a small penis is more accurate, since I would imagine that our under-endowed brethren overcompensate by slamming it home with extra force.
Better make that a tongue-punched fart box if you want the Repubs to fuck it.
Or a broken Fleshlight.
correction…."a large, erect dick with a pink ribbon on it"…Respectfully….
One can also be fucked by a dildo, yes?
I think a dildo might be the best fit, symbolically speaking.
To anyone with birds — please don't make them suffer the indignity of having their cages lined with the writing of "Senior White House Writer" Glenn Thrush. Your birds deserve better.
Also note, the lying quote from unnamed Republican, "There were [House Republicans] who only knew Obama was coming when they saw Secret Service guys scouting out the place," was silently edited out, since they had gotten his acceptance two weeks before the event. AMBUSH!
The Politico Republican stenographers strike again.
Three words that bring a smile to my face: Joe Miller Meltdown.
Shame, though. Princess Lisa will just go back to DC and take her old seat in whatever committe she's in and resume caucusing with them that dissed her, so the end result will be the same minus the hilarity of the nearly-bearded new guy. A vote in lockstep with the Turtle knows no gender boundaries.
A permanent state of war? We probably shouldn't have turned the gubbermint over to Halliburton (Inc. of Dubai)
So, we know that Joe Miller's paranoia go back at least as far as his job in Fairbanks with the Northstar Borough. Has he ever actually said who is out to get him? I wish that guy with the law firm in Anchorage hadn't been quiet so discreet. Sounds like there are some stories there.
When did Kenneth Blackwell move to Alaska — & become a liberal?
more like the republicans are playing "hard to get hard," amirite?
It's really unpatriotic to hope that war won't continue forever. War: it's what we do! What's good for Northrup-Grumman is good for America.
Also, OT, TSA honcho Juan Pistole is on C-SPAN3 now. Man, is he creepy!
I've come to understand that the only legitimate function of gubbermint is to collect taxes from working people (as opposed to wealthy people) and to turn those taxes over to war profiteers (including those headquartered in Abu Dhabi to avoid US taxes) who are in turn, owned by wealthy people (who are, by definition, not USAmerikan citizens but Citizens of the World, aka the Party). For this, permanent war is necessary in order to dupe the proles into continuing to work and pay taxes to support the perverse tastes the members of the Party. Also, the end.
Boner's pissed because Barry didn't give him his mother's engagement ring – like Prince William did for what's-her-face.
So…the nation spoke and communicated it's outrage at socialisms, Obamarcare, black lecturing hectorers in comical white face, and voted in a marauding cadre of truth seekers who will finally Restore Our Honor with the knotted rope of TRUTH. And at their first opportunity to give that uppity dictatorial fascist a piece of their mind, and a few smart lashes with the switch of righteousness, telling him unconditionally what's what, they…punt?
Don't they realize the people are angry and wish the GOP to rid them of this meddlesome Perezhiltonident? Get cracking GOP! Make with the lynching chop-chop!
This is what makes the teleprompter thing one of the Big Lies. They are deathly afraid to match wits with him again, face to face, in public.
They are absolutely going to claim, after the rescheduled meeting, that Obama is trying to ram something down their throats. Which he should. A motherfucking CLAYMORE.
So, after Thanksgiving, prepare for the GOP to claim Obama/Pelosi didn't want to meet with them and the evil Democrats are trying to rush a job-killing tax hike through Congress during the lame duck session.
The mighty GOP, sails puffed with victory, bravely steps forth to pussy out.
I thought the black man was supposed to rape the GOP and instead he is just bending over…not sure why the gaybags would want to postpone that meeting….any ideas?
Joe,
Now that you lost your so gay your a faggot.
Brillow
Your new Republican Overlords gettin' shit done:
Promising to eliminate earmarks? Check! That'll make a difference in my life.
Fuckin' with O just to fuck with him? Check! Let freedom ring, ding-dong!
I thought "Let's talk" was American for "We're breaking up/Your ass is fired". Pretty much the opposite of sexaytime.
How long, Barry, how fucking long? I just KNOW you've got a straight razor in your sock, that's why I voted for you…WTF?
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Well, I think the people running FOX News had a bigger plan in mind then something that could have turned 180 degrees in the other direction just because of Tweety.
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