Rude Republican Leadership Postpones First Date With Obama
Heartbroken liberals sobbed quietly in a corner after they found out that Barack Obama wanted to "talk" with John Boehner and his army of Republican Oompa Loompas -- because everyone knows "let's talk" is secret Beltway/truck stop code for meth-fueled group sexytime. John Boehner said he was really looking forward to bipartisan experimentation with Obama, in the most sexual way possible, but now Republicans are playing all "hard to get" and have indefinitely postponed this hawt meet-up! #1 Best Bra Padding The Politico reports that Republicans got cold feet because they are still extremely angry at Obama for "crashing" their GOP bull session in Baltimore, way back when. The thing is: Republicans actually invited Obama to come join their lame retreat. Whoops! What will it take to get these Powerful Leaders to sit in a room together, so that Obama can give Republicans whatever they want? [ The Caucus / TPM ]
Murkowski is now leading by more than 10,000 votes. Joe Miller is acting all butthurt and demands a recount, because apparently "Alaska's computerized voting system is suspect." But also Joe Miller is a compulsive liar. [ ADN ]
Oh, now we get to stay in Afghanistan until at least 2014. Hooray for endless war. [ McClatchy ]
Boner's pissed because Barry didn't give him his mother's engagement ring - like Prince William did for what's-her-face.
I thought "Let's talk" was American for "We're breaking up/Your ass is fired". Pretty much the opposite of sexaytime.