Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away

by Jack Stuef

Also wants a supply of pocket protectors on his desk the first day. NERD JOKE. HIGH FIVE.Andy Harris is an anesthesiologist and newly-elected Republican member of Congress from Maryland who ran on an anti-health-care-reform platform, but at an orientation yesterday, he got VERY ANGRY that the government will not provide him with free health care instantly after being sworn into office in January. The government is ruining our nation’s health by making it easier for citizens to get health care, and it is also ruining our nation’s health by making it harder for congressional citizens to get health care. Yeah, seems like a pretty consistent, populist position.

“He stood up and asked the two ladies who were answering questions why it had to take so long, what he would do without 28 days of health care,” said a congressional staffer who saw the exchange. The benefits session, held behind closed doors, drew about 250 freshman members, staffers and family members to the Capitol Visitors Center auditorium late Monday morning.”

Yes, what to do without 28 days of health care? Do what the rest of the country does, obviously. It’s a fun way to gamble! Just enjoy it, bro. It won’t be much longer, thanks to that wanton Obamacare, that Americans like you will get to revel in the privilege of not having health care.

Harris, a Maryland state senator who works at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and several hospitals on the Eastern Shore, also told the audience, “This is the only employer I’ve ever worked for where you don’t get coverage the first day you are employed,” his spokeswoman Anna Nix told POLITICO.

Your editor is told this is not actually the norm at some or even most places, but he wouldn’t know, because he is a child and has never held a real job. But obviously, this is the sole reason why one would go into public service: for the perks. And that’s the kind of people we want in Congress.

Freshmen are the worst. Especially when they show up at orientation with their helicopter “staff and family members,” asking a bunch of inane questions about health care and keeping a mini-fridge in their room. Just shut up, find your dorm, and get drunk and have sex with your orientation advisor if you’re hot. That’s why you’re here. [Pol It I, Co.]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 228 comments }

freakishlywrong November 16, 2010 at 11:11 am

If there is any justice in this stupid world, this jackhole will come down with whooping cough/shingles, TODAY.

slithytovesss November 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Whooping cough is good but hemorrhoids seem more appropriate.

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2010 at 12:14 pm

A scorching case of herpes is always a nice touch.

Terry November 16, 2010 at 12:30 pm

All pre-existing conditions, of course.

Giveusabob November 16, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Whooping hemorrhoids would be nice, whatever those might be (and probably nothing good).

slithytovesss November 16, 2010 at 2:13 pm

I'm guessing when you cough, you shit blood.

OhNoGuy November 16, 2010 at 10:40 pm

No, no, no.

Farts that can be heard in the next zip code.

sati_demise November 16, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Lupus is good. How about acid reflux?

spudgun November 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm

It's NEVER lupus…don't you watch House?

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Too curable. What happens if HIV is a pre-existing condition when new insurance starts?

sarjo November 16, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Why, are you thinking maybe we can butt rape him with an infected implement in the next 27 days?

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Or rundown by a teabagger on a scooter. Now that would be sweet, sweet and ironic justice.

miss_grundy November 16, 2010 at 8:22 pm

It would be ironic if he were hit by a cab and would have to foot the ER and hospitalization bill. Then he might sympathize with the millions who lost their jobs and insurance.

ShaveTheWhales November 16, 2010 at 11:49 pm

No, that's a terrible thought.

He should contract it the day after he's sworn in.

Clancy_Pants November 16, 2010 at 11:57 am

I'll bet the guy has a pre-existing condition!

Katydid November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am

Yeah, terminal hypocrisy, and he's too stupid to know to keep his mouth shut.

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

It's an old joke, but: foot-in-mouth disease.

PsycWench November 16, 2010 at 12:04 pm

Is it too late for death panels?

HELisforHEL November 16, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Certainly not in this case.

Gopherit November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

You mean besides being a hypocritical asshole?

LionHeartSoyDog November 16, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Insufferable anal wart. Also.

Schmegeg November 16, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Yes, but "Douchebag" is not covered in their policy, due to abnormally high claims history.

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 12:45 pm

They should change it to Harris Syndrome. Whenever someone is being a hypocritical douchbag, we can call it Harris Syndrome.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Not good enough. Needs to be Harris Douchesyndrome.

OhNoGuy November 16, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Been prescribing for himself for years. Needs to get a script filled BAD!

PsycWench November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am

But it's fun to give freshmen the wrong directions to the cafeteria.

SmutBoffin November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am

This man injects people with consciousness-obliterating medications before they are wheeled into surgery as part of Our Nation's health care system.

That's it. That's the joke.

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Well he has been giving himself those shots too often.

Dashboard_Jesus November 17, 2010 at 12:56 am

best way to do it, comfortably numb

slappypaddy November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am

numbnuts needs a chill pill. he ought to be able to manage that.

grendelg November 16, 2010 at 11:59 am

Someone should follow him around all day and every time he coughs or sneezes they should point at him and yell "Pre-existing condition!"

Lascauxcaveman November 16, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Eh, lighten up Francis. They don't give you bullets on your first day in the Army, either.

GOPCrusher November 16, 2010 at 3:18 pm

But, you do get free health care.

lenorebeadsman November 16, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Except that congressional health care isn't free. Members of Congress purchase their health care plans through FEHB like other federal employees. This will be the case until 2014, at which point MoCs will have to start buying health care through the state exchanges. Either way, the costs are covered partly by the government and partly by the federal employee – not free.

SecretMuslin November 16, 2010 at 6:12 pm

At first I thought your post said "Enlighten up." And I was going to say that will have single payer before this cock face gets enlightened.

fundamentallybroken November 16, 2010 at 12:00 pm

At first I wanted to stab myself in the eye because of this asshole. Then I figured, he's the asshole, let's stab him in the eye. Then, comments were disabled, and now I'm just in a stabbing mood for everyone.

JustPixelz November 16, 2010 at 12:08 pm

pretty sure eye-stabbing is a pre-existing condition, so you'll get a pirate patch and shown the door. (ha ha, you'll be half blind so "showing" you the door will be a little ER joke.)

OhNoGuy November 16, 2010 at 10:44 pm

What? No parrot?

Lascauxcaveman November 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Would it help a little if I punched him in the throat, really hard?

Sparky_McGruff November 16, 2010 at 12:45 pm

There's nothing a tea-tard has that can't be helped by a good throat punching.

MsQuasimodo November 17, 2010 at 9:58 am

In the cricoid – nicely symbolic, given that this chickenfucker is an anesthesiologist.

Wadisay November 16, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Where are the death panels when you really need them?

user-of-owls November 16, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Book a quick trip to Scotland. You'll feel a lot better in the Stabby Capital of the World.

SnarkoMarx November 16, 2010 at 12:00 pm

I'll personally foot the bill to euthanize him and all the other incoming republican congressmen if it will help any.

HELisforHEL November 16, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Here, let me help you with that.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:17 pm

He's an anesthesiologist, so it should be pretty simple. He can just euthanize himself, for free.

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:50 pm

I am in where do I send the needles.

Buzz Feedback November 16, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Paging Scratch the Hep C Monkey, please report to Rep.-elect Harris's office.

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Harris has got to learn, as a freshman, not to be an asshole, because otherwise the seniors won't be willing to go buy beer and liquor for him without a hefty surcharge.

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Does he also have to learn, as a freshman, to bare his asshole for the seniors?

Not_So_Much November 16, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Beat me to it — he seems like the type that will pledge a frat that has lots and lots of bare-assed corporal punishment spankings. And hot man-on-man butt secks too, also.

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 8:21 pm

But it's not gay since it's part of pledging.

V572625694 November 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

People become anesthesiologists because they want to make a lot of moniez from sick people without actually talking to any sick people. Ditto radiologists. So whaddya expect from an entitled asshole but an asshole's sense of entitlement?

MsQuasimodo November 17, 2010 at 10:03 am

Yes. Also many anesthesiologist I've known and worked with had, or probably currently have, drug problems … they have access to everything and I think there is research proving this. Also, this asshole could be one of those jerkoff MDs who bitch and moan about Medicaid and Medicare and noninsured patients, and treat them like shit. A wonketeer living in his neck of the woods should get to know nurses who have worked with him and get the dirt on this hypocrite.

PsycWench November 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Also, here in SW Virginia there is a group of doctors that converge yearly on a fairground and provide free medical care for the first 300 or so eligible people who show up. People come days before it starts to make sure they have a place in line and there is much sobbing when some is turned away. I'll lend him a tent if he wants to come stand in line with everyone else.

imissopus November 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Might be the same organization that goes around the country doing that. They were at the L.A. Forum sometime last year for a few days and thousands of poor people lined up in the parking lot to get checked out. And sat out there for days in the sun waiting their turn.

PsycWench November 16, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Here's the link to the one in SW VA…I wildly underestimated the number of people treated. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/arti
Of course there were commenters who bitched that some of the participants had (bare-bones, couldn't afford the deductable) insurance or (didn't pay for that procedure) Medicaid. I honestly think Harris should take his anesthesiologist butt out to the 2011 mobile clinic. When he's done let's see what he thinks of health care availablity.

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Assholes with an exaggerated sense of entitlement such as Harris don't do things like that … that's why he pays exorbitantly high taxes!

imissopus November 16, 2010 at 1:13 pm

That's the same group. They were here in the summer of '09 (treated 6300 people over a week) and again this past spring (treated 6600 that time.) Here's some coverage I'm going to send to Andy Harris:
http://www.latimes.com/health/la-free-clinic/

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Jesus wept…good on the docs, but I can't help but think there are rich fucks somewhere who have videos of the folks crying as they're turned away. They then furiously fap to said video.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2010 at 2:17 pm

I think the only poors that rich fucks are interested in are the ones they purchase and discard for their own personal use.

BarryOPotter November 16, 2010 at 3:54 pm

"Jeeves, another Scotch & S. And while you're up, toss another hobo onto the fire. Mipsie and I just felt a chill. That's all."

Terry November 16, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Bet you wouldn't see this guy volunteering his time providing care at that event, either.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Spooky Doktor Tom complains that he can't work in his clinic in Oklahoma because senate rules prohibit holding two paying jobs at the same time. He says he needs to practice medicine to keep his license up to date, or something.

Though his answer to solving the health care crisis is, "we've got to help our neighbors" rather than provide affordable health care, it had evidently never occurred to this dickwad that he could work for free. Fuck that, the greedy bastard is Mr. Christian, expecting to be raptured up at any moment and he wouldn't walk across the street to assist a woman having her baby on the sidewalk because she's homeless and illegal.

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Couldn't he follow the lead of another Senate MD and diagnose the comatose via television?

V572625694 November 16, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Now how are free enterprise, non-socialist docs supposed to compete with that? Totally unfair! Honestly, some people have no respect for our system, which is capitalist, as it says right in the Constitution.

OhNoGuy November 16, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Like Dr. Benway, he's not innarested in your condition, not innarested at all.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Let him know how you feel.
http://www.andyharris.com/contact/

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Done!

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Done!

Lascauxcaveman November 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Done! Also & too. The subject line read: Whaaa! Where's MY free gov't healthcare? I'm an important congressman!

V572625694 November 16, 2010 at 12:36 pm

"Subject: Socialized medicine for the select few

"Nice work, Andy! Glad to see you demand government-provided-and-funded health care for yourself, while denying it to others. Hypocrisy never goes out of style!"

HELisforHEL November 16, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Done. Let's see how much anger spam hits that account. I really have to set up my 'shark site' for stuff like this.

sati_demise November 16, 2010 at 12:50 pm

oh thank you for the link. Think he will answer any of our polite & inquisitive emails?

user-of-owls November 16, 2010 at 2:00 pm

As per grendelg's comment:

SUBJECT: Achooo! ACHOOO! *sniffle*

MESSAGE: Hi Andy, I just want to shake your hand!

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Done, from my majoad mailbox on an email address I don't use.

Here's mine, with subject: Resist Obamacare:

" I am very disapointed to hear you complain about getting your socialist health care. As a Tea Party Patriot I expect you to reject socialized medicine. We got to stand together against the muslins and the marxist socialist fascists. That's why we have voted you in. And we can vote you out."

This will be tricky for the poor bastard who has to read this shit. (If anyone does) because of the misspelled words. Teatard, or wonkeratti making fun of the 'tards?

GOPCrusher November 16, 2010 at 3:23 pm

NEEDZ MOAR MIS-SPELT WERDZ!

Winnie_Cooper November 16, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Not a single instance of random capitalization for EMPHASIS. Clearly not a TRUE PATRIOT.

V572625694 November 19, 2010 at 3:06 pm

HuffPost is the WORST on capitalizing any-FUCKING-thing. It's like an algorithm that does it RANDOMLY.

trampndirtdown November 16, 2010 at 10:26 pm

I would say the Joad tag is a giveaway but who the fuck reads anymore, especially Steinbeck?

ShaveTheWhales November 16, 2010 at 11:53 pm

Certainly, Steinbeck doesn't.

charlesdegoal November 16, 2010 at 12:03 pm

So what happened to Wonkette? Got stuck on the john? Couldn't find your vein?
Anyway, here it is: Is that a gun he's toting or is he just happy to have been elected?

deelzebub November 16, 2010 at 12:22 pm

I think it's just a flattering zipper fold. Anyone who acts like this big a dick doesn't possess one.

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2010 at 12:48 pm

From what I've heard Dick Cheney has truly earned that nickname.

donner_froh November 16, 2010 at 12:03 pm

“This is the only employer I’ve ever worked for where you don’t get coverage the first day you are employed,

This populist rebel libertarian ran on a platform that he would get great health care coverage from day one from the government and that the government would stay out of health care for everyone else.

Not surprising.

Maman November 16, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Clearly this dork doesn't get around much…. Or even to listen to the patients, though in all fairness anesthesiologists aren't big on chit chat… they just want to knock you out.

Badonkadonkette November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

I agree. Everyone who calls for a reduction in government benefits should immediately be provided expansive government benefits. And while we're at it, we need more loyalty oaths.

petehammer November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

But, Andy, do they know you're the Beeper King?

Hey dummy!

This guy now says he is pointing out how crappy government-run healthcare is. Hey, dummy, buy your own from a private carrier then!

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 1:12 pm

The FREE MARKET ain't free.

GOPCrusher November 16, 2010 at 3:26 pm

My thoughts exactly. Andy should lead by example and tell the gubmint he don't need their health care. He went out and bought his own. That's personal responsibility!

cb72 November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

The issue is moot. Medical science has no cure for elephantitis of the asshole.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

'Bout time the comments were turned on so I can post my witty observation of his health care starting about the same time as his next period!

There!

JustPixelz November 16, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Silly CongressPersonMan. Everyone in America gets health care. It's just that everyone doesn't have health insurance. Those people must decide whether each "funny feeling" is worth the risk of bankrupting their family.

UpstateYorkee November 16, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Maybe he can just barter votes in exchange for 30 days of health care insurance?

Ducksworthy November 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Might as well start now.

WunkRocker November 16, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Vote, Rim jobs, why be specific?

UpstateYorkee November 16, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Exchange a rusty trombone for a Rand Paul 'eye exam'?

lowaltflier November 16, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Wait. That ass hole doesn’t start until January. My employer didn’t offer me health care until I actually started working.

Hope he gets syphilis from the first male hooker he encounters.

NorthStarSpanx November 16, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Why would you wish such a grotesque encounter for the syphilitic male hooker?

Sepatown! November 16, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Did he forget his chicken?

Oblios_Cap November 16, 2010 at 1:07 pm

He fucked it to death.

mdotsota November 16, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Wait, this guy's really just a freeloading slob who complains about government benefits being too generous for everyone else and not generous enough for him?

Well he's just assured re-election for the rest of his life. Congrats teabaggers, he truly is one of you.

OhNoGuy November 16, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Somebody buy that man a scooter!

mog253 November 16, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Never worked anywhere that it didn't take at least 30 days. Wait until they tell him about co-pays – nevermind, congresspeople don't have to worry about that. I'm sure he has plenty of buds at JH who will help him out if he needs Percoset or Oxy.

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 1:09 pm

28 days is nothing. I've seen 3 months, 6 months, even 1 year.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Or never.

CrankyLttlCamperette November 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Oh noes! A whole 28 days! Like you don't know enough docs at Hopkins who will look at that rash or write you a new script for your special pills.

But universal care for the poors? NEVAR!!!1!

forgracie November 16, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Don't worry Dude, your gravy train will start up soon enough. Also, make sure you belly up to the defined benefit plan while taking that away from the rest of the country's workers.

Gopherit November 16, 2010 at 12:10 pm

There's two things most doctors i know are very good at doing: 1. Bitching about how hard it is to get insurance companies to pay enough for them to survive. 2. Knowing all the most expensive places in the world to take vacations. It doesn't surprise me that he'd bitch about not having his gubmint health care. Like a lot of doctors, he's an entitled buffoon, and could really give a shit about other people beyond their ability to pay. Medicine isn't a right, you know.

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm

You forgot 3. Bitching about how they might have to pay a bunch of money if they fuck up and kill or permanently injure a patient; those ungrateful wretches and their lawyers should know they are superior Doctors and should be beyond human law.

It may be something they learn in med school, or may come from the type of person who goes into medicine, but yeah a lot of doctors have seriously oversized egos.

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 2:51 pm

I read a book by a DOCTOR who wrote you know what the worse patient you could have is?

ANOTHER DOCTOR.

binarian November 16, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Most doctors I've known are seriously convinced their shit doesn't stink.

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 2:52 pm

That's why I never date doctors. The most anti-intelluctual (*) idiots around.

* = Ironical spelling.

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 3:14 pm

I've found the hard way that it's also a bad idea, at least with young doctors, because they have virtually no free time they don't spend sleeping. It's like being single, but you're not free to hook up with anyone else (without being a sleaze anyway).

And like with engineers, or Dr. Tom below, a lot of both them and regular people treat them as if they were as much of experts at science as actual scientists , so that when some asshole like Limbaugh brings up a "scientist" who denies proven realities like global warming or evolution it's almost always an engineer or an MD.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Completely true of Spooky Doktor Tom.

V572625694 November 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Those aren't vacations. Those are "continuing education" seminars in St-Tropez and Barbuda and the Seychelles and Tahiti, and thus fully deductible. Doctors are smarter than all the rest of us, as this simple example demonstrates.

Ducksworthy November 16, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Welcome to "Murika douchebag. And if you azzholes repeal ObamaCare I'm gonna see to it that one of the first cuts to the budget will be the elimination of health care for Congresspimples. Buy it on the individual free market like I do.

iburl November 16, 2010 at 12:10 pm

What will I do without health care for a month?

Pray to Jesus and blame the illegals?

mavenmaven November 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm

He gets his health care after he buys the elevator pass from the upperclassmen.

WarAndGee November 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Hey Tea-tards, recall election?

binarian November 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Apparenlty, he has a "unique understanding of freedom" 'cause his folks "fled Communist invasion after World War Two, joining hundreds of thousands of other refugees fleeing the totalitarian Soviet regime." So……your parents left Europe before you were born and that gives you a unique perspective? What, an amniotic knowledge transfer?

LionHeartSoyDog November 16, 2010 at 1:59 pm

Nazi sympathizer anchor baby!

glindsey1979 November 16, 2010 at 2:07 pm

It sounds like he's a believer in Lamarckian Evolution (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamarckism). Which is fine, since it wasn't from that devil-worshipper Darwin!

slithytovesss November 16, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Asstard. Just wait till he puts on the Freshman 30 – then he'll want his insurance to pay for lapband surgery.

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Hmmm, sounds like someone hasn't read the Johns Hopkins employee handbook:

Regular full-time and part-time benefited employees are eligible to apply for coverage for all plans within 7 calendar days from their hire date, within 30 calendar days of a qualifying change of status, or during the annual Open Enrollment usually conducted during the months of October and November.

Um, I'm not seeing the word "immediately" anywhere in this paragraph, so I can only assume that Harris has inhaled too many anesthesiology fumes and has hallucinated it. Oh, and hypocritical douchebag, also.

MissTaken November 16, 2010 at 1:52 pm

That's for "REGULAR full-time and part-time benefited employees". This douchebag is obviously special and deserves his health benefits before anyone else.

elviouslyqueer November 16, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Heh. Also, "obviously special"::"special needs" as "tomato"::"tomahto."

Monsieur_Grumpe November 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Ignorant and a hypocrite, yup, he’s a teabagger.

edgydrifter November 16, 2010 at 12:13 pm

And why do Jim DeMint and Joe Barton keep offering to sell him elevator tickets? Aren't these available at the Clerk of the House's office? Andy Harris wants answers NOW!

trampndirtdown November 16, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Demented slides over to the house to fuck with freshmen? What a dick!

JustPixelz November 16, 2010 at 12:13 pm

I'll bet he just can't wait to repeal Health Insurance Reform. For the children.

I reiterate my call for Congressional plan that only covers members in proportion to Americans' overall coverage. Today that would mean 15% of congress — randomly selected — get no health insurance. Also, coverage can be revoked at any time for any reason (dartboard).

weejee November 16, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Andy Harris is an anesthesiologist

Well it appears Ol' Andy is good at passing gas. The flatulence from the 112th Congress begins.

Mindblank November 16, 2010 at 12:15 pm

What to do during those 28 days? Don't get sick. And if you do get sick, die quickly.

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 1:12 pm

What to do during those 28 days? Don't get sick. And if you do get sick, die quickly.

Much better advice.

CrankyLttlCamperette November 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Well, obviously, if you get sick during those 28 days, you weren't praying hard enough or maybe your faith is imperfect, which is why Jeebus smote thee.

Heathen.

Radiotherapy November 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm

Maybe he could have lunch with a healthcare insurance lobbyist and get this matter straightened out. Then they could page him when his co-pay kicks in….Anal herpes hurts, people.

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Yeah the anal herpes has given him big sores on his tongue. I think he got them from the wife after he tongue punched her fartbox.

neiltheblaze November 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm

It won't matter. I can't think of a single Republican who ever lost an election for being a hypocritical scumbag. In fact, it's not a bug, it's a feature.

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 1:10 pm

IOKIYAR.

The only "moral value" the GOP trucknutz have.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Sorry. Don't get it.

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 2:55 pm

IOKIYAR=IT'S OK IF YOU ARE REPUBLICAN.

jUST SOMETHING i LEARNED FROM TALKING TO BUSH REPUBLICANS FOR EIGHT FUCKING YEARS

emmelemm November 16, 2010 at 3:11 pm

As a software engineer, I am well versed in "it's not a bug, it's a feature."

thefrontpage November 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm

I had sex with some girl during my orientation weekend, and I knew that college was going to be great after that.

As for these incoming poseur moron idiots–all of whom have absolutely zero business being in Congress, on every level–they deserve nothing. They don't even deserve to be in Congress.

They are poseurs, they are morons, they are idiots.

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:36 pm

And the teabaggers are even worse.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Because they are nothing but dupes for billionnaires.

widestanceroman November 16, 2010 at 12:18 pm

No coverage? No problem, just apply a BOOTSTRAP POULTICE TO YOUR STUPID PIE HOLE.

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Hey assface…try being middle aged and going 5 motherfucking years w/o insurance. Oddly enough, while I suffered great anxiety in the beginning, I'm ok with it now. I found a cheap place for my meds and I bargain down on stuff with my doc. Of course, if something really bad happens, I'm fucked. I guess for the time being, that's the chance I'll have to take…to do otherwise would not be American.

Also, since when have we started electing such whiny little balls of shit?

Radiotherapy November 16, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Um, that would be since our precious Founding Fathers®.

V572625694 November 16, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Who WERE NOT ELECTED! Let's see their birth certificates!

comrad_darkness November 16, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Ever since as a a country we've decided that the party that fucks up the most should keep getting sent back to fuck things up some more. You think they'd get elected if they were man enough to admit they screwed up?

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 1:14 pm

5 years without insurance? Ouch – maybe you should try running for Congress.

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 3:30 pm

You know…that's not a bad idea. My campaign will be paid for by donations, I'll get to travel around my state and if I win…Health Care!

Lower Taxes! Government is the problem! No socialism! Freedom Freedom! Our children, what about the children!? Security! Troops! USA!!11!

There…my platform is ready to go. Healthcare here I come!

outragedcitizen November 16, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Harris got elected by the retired olds and the rich chicken-fucking farmers on Maryland's eastern shore.

kenlayisalive November 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

"How can you fuck a chicken? They're not tall enough."

-Lenny Bruce

user-of-owls November 16, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Just wait until Santorum's kids are old enough to hold office.

DoktorZoom November 16, 2010 at 12:21 pm

What, the privileged douchebag has never heard of COBRA? Anesthesiologist, anesthetize thyself!

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Why do you think anesthesiologists become anesthesiologists? It's the drugs, man!

linky

Lascauxcaveman November 16, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Yeah, he's not stupid, just stoned.

user-of-owls November 16, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Hey, that gives me an idea! Remember when Red State went on that "we say send your congressman a real [bag of cement, blender, dead hamster, etc.] to show them how we feel!" binge?

Weelll, since Andy apparently has not heard of COBRA, I'm thinking…

Gratuitous World November 16, 2010 at 12:22 pm

he'll be really pissed when he finds out his federally-funded free blowjob machine is on backorder

OneDollarJuana November 16, 2010 at 12:59 pm

That's a terrifying image. Is it located out in the hall or hopefully tucked away in the room with the ice machine?

CrankyLttlCamperette November 16, 2010 at 1:05 pm

I thought that was called "K Street."

kenlayisalive November 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

What's holding up the interns?

MarionNYNY November 16, 2010 at 12:24 pm

You mean he didn't take the principled position of refusing socialist healthcare in the first place?

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Nah.

He wants socialist healthcare for himself and his family.

He doesn't want socialist healthcare for OTHER PEOPLE.

See the difference?

IT'S ALL ABOUT "ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!"

YeOldeFapSmith November 16, 2010 at 12:24 pm

Anesthesiologists end up in rehab more often than any other group of medical workers. While inhaling an ether rag constantly will cause lapses in judgement, he doesn't strike me as that fun. Ruling out substance abuse, the only possible cause for Rep. Harris' Teabaggery is old fashioned mental retardation.

mookwrthwilson November 16, 2010 at 12:25 pm

On behalf of my colleagues at the MD Gen Assembly to all who work on Capitol Hill:

Hahahahahahahahaha…come January he's all yours…have fun.

indecencycmdr November 16, 2010 at 12:26 pm

last place i worked, you had to work there for 6 months maintaining an average of 32 hours per week (oh and no vacation pay) and then you could get the health insurance that had a $500 deductible. yeah, but no, this guy's problem is way worse. whiny little bitch.

widestanceroman November 16, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Has the man no goats, sheep, eligible daughters or laying hens to offer up in exchange for medical care?

Terry November 16, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Have you been over to those web sites stirring the pot again, my friend?

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:21 pm

You know he has. Look at those minus pees. That's why I never risk it. I'm old and insecure, so I need my pees.

Jerri November 16, 2010 at 12:36 pm

That's funny because I've never worked anywhere that offered health insurance. I CAN RELATE TO THIS MAN'S PLIGHT.

Hey fucknut, why don't you just do the gallant thing here and refuse government-run insurance all-together. Show your tebaggin' buddies you really believe in your principles. Oh. Right. Welp, time to start my day's drinking. Alcohol kills germs/terrible diseases, right?

hagajim November 16, 2010 at 12:39 pm

I think this stupid fuckwad ouht to be given the link to COBRA. Hey Andy – you asshole – ever hear of Cobra Insurance….why don't you try some of that shit on for size? What? Costs too much? Welcome to the fun club of being a Merkin. Go fuck yourself and get hemmorhoids!

BlueinVA November 17, 2010 at 12:17 am

Just paid for the first month of our COBRA coverage today, as a matter of fact. $1600. Suck it up, Mr. Harris, because I KNOW you can afford that a lot easier than we sure as fuck can! At least you only need it for one month before your taxpayer-subsidized plan kicks in! Asshat.

DashboardBuddha November 16, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Jeez…do we really bug them that much? Don't they have HuffPo accounts?

PsycWench November 16, 2010 at 1:23 pm

It's the long, multisyllabic words. They're annoyed at having to use the dictionaries that came loaded onto the computers but that they threw off b/c who needs dictionaries?

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm

And even simple concepts like "Fire" scares conservatives.

Because Fire is a socialist plot by Commie fire departments.

Katydid November 16, 2010 at 12:44 pm

I want to know how much Congress people pay for health insurance anyway. Do those fuckwads pay anything? Do they have a deductible? What are their co-pays? And isn't there a doctor in the House, so to speak, so they don't even have to pay at all during sessions?

This shit has got to stop. Why can't we get people worked up about this?

SorosBot November 16, 2010 at 1:31 pm

No, no, nothing, and yes. Just remember that the Congressional health plan, along with all their other benefits and pay, is set by Congress. Nice work if you can get it.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Let's get the guy with the negative pees, metawhatever to start a campaign on the sites he visits–Red State etc. Evidently, he doesn't mind living on the edge.

lenorebeadsman November 16, 2010 at 7:22 pm

Yes, depends, depends, actually. Members of Congress purchase one of the (many and varying) plans available through FEHB just like every federal employee, and they do bear part of the cost.
http://www.factcheck.org/2009/08/health-care-for-

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:42 am

Too many people figure they'll be super-rich, too, so they'll need the privileges!

Beetagger November 16, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Dear Andy,

Welcome to Congress. Now, please choke on your own vomit.

Thank you.

Wadisay November 16, 2010 at 12:52 pm

I am sure this quote was taken out of context. What he actually meant to say was, Why do I only have 28 days until my FREEEDOOOOMMMM is taken away?

OneYieldRegular November 16, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Did he not read the memo? He was supposed to stand up and shout: "Give me no health care – or give me death!" while waving a "Don't Tread on Me" flag.

Anyway, not to worry; he'll soon be taken care of by the very people who put him there. Teabaggers are notorious for eating their own, particularly when one of them dares to step out of line.

DahBoner November 16, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Sometimes BonerCare don't work?

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:42 am

I'm sure the DC area has loads of faith-healers.

HistoriCat November 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Mac Mathias would never be elected as a Republican today.

Terry November 16, 2010 at 1:34 pm

True, and Gilchrist was considering a party switch.

outragedcitizen November 16, 2010 at 1:23 pm

This shithead is from my state, not my district, thank god, but I still had to listen to his political bullshit on the Teevee for the last couple of months. I thought he was an asshole then, I really think he's an asshole now.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:31 pm

My kid is sort of living in Maryland now. (She travels most of the time doing labor organizing, but Silver Springs is her "home." She's coming to real home and packing up some shit and driving to her new digs. Since she's planning on strapping a mattress to her roof, I recommended she put a sign in her rear window reading, "Remember Tom Joad."

And if, by some weird chance, one of my kids is reading this, I am fucked beyond belief. Spilling family beans to a bunch of potty mouthed losers, in public?

Oh well. I'll risk it.

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2010 at 2:41 pm

What is it like driving through Real America these days? Will she have to drink only from the "liberal" fountains and sleep only at underground liberal boarding houses on the back roads?

LetUsBray November 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Potty mouthed losers? Hey, I fucking resemble that remark.

finallyhappy November 16, 2010 at 8:33 pm

It is Silver Spring(that is important to those of us who live here) and in Montgomery County- where Silver Spring is located- we have NO elected Republicans at local, state or national level.

Bluestatelibel November 16, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Maybe somebody else mentioned this, and maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that asshat isn't employed until Jan. 2 or the exact date he's sworn in. And many people don't get health insurance until working after six months.

genxr November 16, 2010 at 1:29 pm

For a brief period – 30 days – he enjoys the same freedom that tens of millions of Americans enjoy, the freedom from government-run healthcare.

MistaEko November 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm

What happens in the interim? The answer lies in the movie "28 Days Later."

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:35 pm

anesthesiologist – A gas passer is raising all the fuss. Really which end is the noise coming from?

PublicLuxury November 16, 2010 at 1:37 pm

The picture emphasizes the Jimmy Dean sausage he has rammed in his pants.

BruceLee5000 November 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Sounds like somebody has a pretty vicious Oxycontin addiction. 100 forged prescription pads don't go very far without Uncle Sam footing the bill!

Office_39 November 16, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Do all Federal employees, from groundskeeper to President, have to wait 28 days before they are covered by health insurance? That's bs if true. I don't particularly care about Doctor Andy. But, if the Fed makes congress members wait, even disgusting ones like him, they might make hired worker wait, too. Screw that.

Beowoof November 16, 2010 at 1:46 pm

I do believe it is part of the Right Wing disinformation campaign. They call into the left wing radio, with the same line, I just stumbled accross your show and I can't believe what I am hearing. And the posting operation is something along the lines of you folks must be ignorant to want the government to be involved in health care. And I agree, lets shut down the FDA and Tort suits for product liability and watch the drug company fun.

horsedreamer_1 November 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Don't worry, Andy. You'll have your hand-out soon.

Meanwhile, Sherrod Brown continues to be denied* gov't health-care.

*abstains from

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 2:19 pm

He's my favorite senator, but not one of my pretend boyfriends. That's reserved for Anthony Weiner, my favorite congressman.

Funny, none of my faves and potential pretend boyfriends represent the morans in the Dust Bowl.

Wilcoxyz November 16, 2010 at 1:50 pm

I hope some helpful Tea Partier explained that he don't need gub'mint care or intrusion in the markets. He can just go to the emergency room where care is free and guaranteed.

JGambolputty November 16, 2010 at 2:14 pm

My favorite quote from the article, "Nix said Harris, who is the father of five, wasn’t being hypocritical – he was just pointing out the inefficiency of government-run health care."

Yes, I'm sure it was all just a performance piece. It's sad that this guy doesn't trust his family to not get terribly sick within a month. It's not like we're living in the pioneer days. His house has heat and he can buy OTC medications, right?

horsedreamer_1 November 16, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Inspired by the Tyler Perry adaptation of the 70s avant-garde tone-poem theatre-piece, Harris presents… for congressmen who have considered suicide/when the RAINBOW Coalition has fraudulently usurped your election.

Jerri November 16, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Additionally, when you have coverage through your private sector employer, don't you usually have to work for a place a little while (30-90 days) before you can enroll anyway? If that's generally true, then it seems to me that the 28 day government wait is actually the efficient system in this scenario.

rocktonsam November 16, 2010 at 2:22 pm

this asshole just got to town, wait until you get your STD on the Metro, asshole.!

Acrewood November 16, 2010 at 2:26 pm

For more news and commentary, check out The Bond Project at http://www.thebondproject.blogspot.com

Chet Kincaid November 16, 2010 at 2:56 pm

He works at John's Hopkins's Ruth's Chris's Fifth Third Bank, Steakhouse & Hospital in Maryland. When the red meat clogs up your arteries, they can put in a stent and perform a total cashectomy all in one convenient location.

DustBowlBlues November 16, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Sad, but true. The Republithugs have the discipline of Hitler Youth.

glamourdammerung November 16, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Wondering why the teabaggers are not discussing some "Second Amendment solutions" for this one.

Oh yeah, because they have a (R) after their name.

lotusflwr November 16, 2010 at 3:52 pm

We should pool our monies and mail him a cobra, to remind him that as a well-compensated doctor type with a job, he could easily COBRA to cover the 28-day gaps between his super-duper employee health care and triple-platinum-diamonds-are-forever-and-so-is-your-new-free-gubmint-provided-congressguy-health care.

fuflans November 16, 2010 at 5:18 pm

i got nothing.

you brilliant people said all the brilliant things while i was out looking for a job before my (stimulus bill reduced!) cobra benefits run out.

god these people.

just once it would be nice if the reality of picking up that rock DIDN'T match my worst suspicions.

Redhead November 16, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Well, the man's a doctor. Of all people, he knows how fucked up the system and how screwed you are without insurance.
And yeah, every job I ever had had a several-month waiting period before insurance (and all benefits, including sick/vacation time) kicked in – if you even got insurance. Yup, Mr. Everyman, just like the average murikin there.

Though Jack… "who ran on an anti-health-care-reform platform" – since Obamacare passed and is policy but Republicans are now trying to change/repeal it, does health care reform refer to the package that PASSED, or the Repugnants' plan to reform that plan?

marionetta November 16, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Can't DOCTOR Harris just heal himself?

What's wrong with socialist medicare in Canada? They fixed my knee on Friday. Gratis.

…..happy commie Canuck

finallyhappy November 16, 2010 at 8:37 pm

He is a doctor- he should be able to do whatever needs to be done. The guy in 127 hours hacked off his own arm without a medical degree- and look at what Liam Neeson did in Taken so this guy should be able to take out his own appendix in his office on the hill.

ReturnToMetal November 16, 2010 at 8:46 pm

He's been sucking too much of his own wind.

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:45 am

An occupational hazard for anesthesiologists!

yourong1 November 16, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Google in the input: = clshoe.us = you can find many brand names, even more surprising is that he will sell you the unexpected o(∩_∩)o

ShaveTheWhales November 17, 2010 at 12:05 am

"Become"? They're already run-of-the-mill Republicans.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi November 17, 2010 at 1:04 am

he demands gold-plated congress plan on day one
dr & family plan to make very good use of this perk

zhubajie November 17, 2010 at 7:18 am

This guy's a doctor; doesn't he already have money running out his ears? Won't the other docs treat him for free as a "professional courtesey"?

Dr_pangloss November 17, 2010 at 9:46 am

He has gotten healthcare on the first day of the job? What jobs has he had. The only place I got that was the ARMY. Their "healthcare" consisted of getting vaccinations and a hernia (ball cup) check. Turn your head and cough for gubermint healthcare.

crapshooter102 November 17, 2010 at 11:36 am

Just tell Mr. Harris to inject himself with some of MJ's sleep medicine for 30 days and he will be all set.

transfatz November 18, 2010 at 1:46 am

Here's my comment, from the Joe Miller threadjacking…

Well you can see his point. He's an anesthesiologist. First comes Obamacare, next thing the poor will be expecting Anesthesia before you cut on them.

q_tion_evrythng November 19, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Tell the asshat douchebag to suck it up. The crybaby gas passer needs to pay over a grand each month for health care (for 2 people) like every one else on COBRA. Stupid ass can't see how truly stoopid he is–(a common teabagger affliction–head up the assius).

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