SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU IN THAT FETUS JAR  2:38 pm November 15, 2010

George W. Bush Thinks He’s ‘Buddies’ With Bill Clinton

by Jack Stuef

“Your father, 41, has said that he looks at Bill Clinton like another son,” said Crowley. “So who’s been the better brother, Jeb or Bill?”

“I knew that was coming,” said Jeb.

“You did? Why didn’t you warn me, Jeb?” said George W. Bush.

Probably he’s sick of doing that after six decades?

“Listen, Clinton and I are buddies,” the former president said. “First of all, we’re born one month apart. We’re now members of the former presidents club. We have done speaking engagements together. And I generally like him.”

Mutual speaking engagements and having been born one month apart: the bedrock of every great friendship. [Patrick Gavin]

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DaSandman November 15, 2010 at 2:45 pm

And Billy takes over the banging Laura chores when Georgie's too busy being an international war criminal or reflecting on the meaning of words like "up" and "with".

Beowoof November 15, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Knowing Bill I thought he would be banging Jenna and Barbara Jr.

Dr_pangloss November 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Yeah Bill likes young, chunky and kinda ugly. Laura would remind him to much of Hillary.

SorosBot November 15, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Somehow, I suspect Clinton looks at Bush like a brother; a petulant annoying younger brother Mom said he had to bring along with his friends who he'd really like to get rid of but is stuck with.

transfatz November 16, 2010 at 2:04 am

When saddled with your little brother just get him in trouble.
"Wah m'brother Bill lak me so much he want me to go with'm to some place call heyg in yurp".

LionelHutzEsq November 16, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Well, both Rodger and W. like to do cocaine.

bumfug November 15, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Buddies?! So this means Clinton pals around with war criminals?

charlesdegoal November 15, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Dubya would hardly be the only one.

zhubajie November 16, 2010 at 4:30 am

Sure; Madeline Albright!

Steverino247 November 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Of course, he's his buddy. Would you wipe Haitian stuff on the back of an enemy's shirt?

Badonkadonkette November 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Rosario Dawson and I are both Tauruses and were born in New York so why won't she call me, hmmmmm?

PublicLuxury November 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm

I always thought Bill had better taste than that. It is a disappointment to find out that he hearts the bush clan. Well, I suppose if Jebby is going to be our new POTUS in 2012 we should get used to it.

Gratuitous World November 15, 2010 at 3:03 pm

“So who’s been the better brother, Jeb or Bill?”

W: um,actually Candy, i'm gonna have to go with fetus-in-a-jar. just love that little guy.

too soon?

zhubajie November 16, 2010 at 4:31 am

Neal, the whore-hopper of Shanghai!

trampndirtdown November 16, 2010 at 9:42 am

I almost forgot Neal and his cute little S&L scandal. Always a Bush around when banks get looted and crash.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

"Buddies?" In the Navy, when you were stuck on board the ship as part of the duty section, a "buddy" was a shipmate who went into town on liberty, got two blowjobs, and came back aboard and gave you one of them. Thanks but no.

Failure_Artist November 15, 2010 at 4:57 pm

I never knew blowjobs were transferable. Course, I never took a class in economics.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 15, 2010 at 5:14 pm

I believe the term is "fungible."

Chet Kincaid November 15, 2010 at 11:41 pm

Sorry, accidental thumb-down…meant up.

Negropolis November 16, 2010 at 12:53 am


ttommyunger November 16, 2010 at 11:20 am

Not if you shower first.

EatsBabyDingos November 15, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Clinton is the "Third Brother;" Weasel Neil is still considered to be the offspring of a ferret and a an armadildo.

edgydrifter November 15, 2010 at 3:17 pm

So where does this leave Putin? After all that manly soul-staring, Pootey is going to be pissed to find out George is sleazing around with his down-low BFF Bill.

deanbooth November 15, 2010 at 3:23 pm

“Your father, 41, .."

Way to disambiguate, Crowley. These people are from another world.

elviouslyqueer November 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Okay, from whose staff notes or memoirs was the Plagiarizer in Chief lifting this time?

charlesdegoal November 15, 2010 at 3:33 pm

You forgot the one in the jar.

savethispatient November 15, 2010 at 3:34 pm

That really sums up the entire presidency:
GWB: "Why didn't you warn me?"
The world: "We thought it was obvious!"

charlesdegoal November 15, 2010 at 3:36 pm

They're all buddies, which is why we're all fucked.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 15, 2010 at 4:05 pm

And Bill and I have our little brother in a jar back at Mom's place.

Oblios_Cap November 15, 2010 at 4:21 pm

I "generally like" almost everyone that I meet until they open their mouths and start talking.

johnnymeatworth November 15, 2010 at 4:23 pm

W is friends with Aleister Crowley???

zhubajie November 16, 2010 at 4:32 am

Sure; 666 is his grandfather! Didn't you know about how Barb I came into being?

chascates November 15, 2010 at 4:49 pm

I can't wait until George joins the 'Dead Presidents Club'. He'll probably live to 100 though. Maybe his dad will take him skydiving?

LibrulEleet November 15, 2010 at 9:07 pm

I'd rather see him spend a long life in prison before he begins his eternity in hell.

Redhead November 15, 2010 at 5:00 pm

George Dubya is like the obnoxious old guy at the bar, who thinks that because he's sitting next to the college frat boy who brought a girl and because they're drinking the same crappy light domestic beer, they're now buddies, because he wants to be like the frat boy who actually has a girl talking to him.

Gee Dubya probably has the same blood alcohol level as that annoying drunk guy, too.

aguacatero November 15, 2010 at 5:46 pm

I know someone who knew W at Yale and said about him, "He was the kind of guy who would go to a party and end up throwing up on your date."

Redhead November 16, 2010 at 5:06 pm

And now I just have Jon Stewart going "henh henh henh," Shrub-style, stuck in my head. Thanks.

WABishop November 16, 2010 at 9:33 am

But I bet little Jar-Jar Bush has a higher blood-alcohol level.

mrblifil November 15, 2010 at 5:15 pm

He's also surprisingly close to Gore, in fact in 2000 he even considered voting for him…

trampndirtdown November 16, 2010 at 9:46 am

Well duh, Shrub Knows that he is incompetent.

Beowoof November 15, 2010 at 6:44 pm

W is like the guy who you tell your meeting at one bar and then go to another and then time him how long it takes him to figure it out and to find you. If he never does, the night is a win.

DustBowlBlues November 15, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Junior figured that Dad's friendship with Bill had bought buddy status for the idiot. After all, daddy's bought him everything else he's ever gotten.

SwanSwanH November 15, 2010 at 8:40 pm

The First Black Bushie.

Guppy06 November 15, 2010 at 8:45 pm

Dubya has looked deep into Bill's eyes and seen into his soul!

gullywompr November 15, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Laura no longer thinks their bromance is funny, but she's still grateful that it takes George out of the house.

problemwithcaring November 15, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Buddies with Bill? Oh, then you are drinking and fucking again.

Limeylizzie November 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm

I think that Hopey sneaks into my bed at night, rogers me soundly, leaves a few thousand dollars on the dresser and then repeals DADT.

ShaveTheWhales November 15, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Sadly, that last bit probably identifies this as a fantasy rather than a recovered memory.

obfuscator2 November 16, 2010 at 12:27 am

i'm detecting a recurring theme here…

ttommyunger November 16, 2010 at 11:23 am

Sounds reasonable, except for the repeal part… ain't gonna happen.

Negropolis November 16, 2010 at 12:59 am

Bush also thinks that the tooth fairy exists and that there are unfound WMD in Iraq.

BTW, totally off topic, but doesn't anyone remember the original "all of them" comment made back when Bush was running for president, and the "I'll get back to ya on that, Katie" comment? It was when Bush was asked to name some world leaders.

zhubajie November 16, 2010 at 4:34 am

I've no doubt Bush believed everything he told Chirac about Gog and Magog!

sarjo November 16, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Wow, you're making me feel young and dumb–I thought "all of 'em" and "I'll get back to ya on that" were original to Palin. I guess there's only so many ways to be a completely unqualified retard seeking higher office?

ttommyunger November 16, 2010 at 11:25 am

Sorry George. Being a pussy is not the same thing as having a pussy. You, or any other man, no matter how unmanly, will never be Bubba's friend. Take it from a fellow sex addict.

LionelHutzEsq November 16, 2010 at 7:02 pm

In other breaking news, George W. Bush believes he is buddies with Yogi Bear, as they both have been to national parks, and like picnic baskets.

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