Teabaggers Already Annoying the Crap Out of Their New Congressmen

Teabagger candidates that won on November 2 have, up to this point, been pretty happy that Teabaggers and their weird, misplaced anger-y fervor helped elect them to office. But that's all about to change, because Teabaggers are planning on annoying "their" new members of Congress until these legislators run out of the Capitol screaming and pulling their hair out from all the constant, intrusive stupidity. Their first brush with this plan came at the end of last week, when the Tea Party Patriots told their members to call the new members of Congress to go to their "orientation" INSTEAD of the one held by the Claremont Institute on the same day. Unsurprisingly, the organization had forgotten to notify them of the event in the first place, and their membership responded by gathering up private phone and address information and just cold stalking the bejesus out of these people.

From this hilariously titled "PLEASE STOP CALLING THE FRESHMEN" e-mail in our inbox:

We also need to apologize to some people. In our haste to compile the list and get it out to you, some people who didn't win their races were incorrectly included as having won. People who dedicate a year or more of their lives to running for office, and who don't succeed, are as deserving of our respect and support as those who ultimately prevailed. In many cases, they have sacrificed their time, money, and families to the cause of restoring the nation to its Constitutional foundation.

Specifically, we need to offer our sincere apologies to a John Koster, Jesse Kelly, and Keith Fimian who ran for office and did not get elected but who were inadvertently added to our list. Additionally, we had a long call with David Harmer from California tonight. He is in a recount, and is dealing with the results of what appears to be large scale voter fraud, and may not win his office. The last thing he and his family need is pressure from us, and we apologize for any stress we may have added to their lives.

Hahahaha. The power of the trifecta of Teabagger organization e-mails, Teabagger's AOL inboxes, and Teabagger free time will never be matched until it ruins the lives of each and every human being!

Here's Allen West, who seems like he's fast becoming one of our favorites. His quotes are especially fun if you read them in the voice of Adam West:

"Nobody received any type of (invitation), it was just 'this is what's happening, please don't go here,' but I'm a big boy and I can choose where I need to go and where I need to be," incoming Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) said in an interview on Sunday afternoon before heading into a meeting at the Capitol Hill Club, a Republican unofficial headquarters in the shadow of the U.S. Capitol, with members of his freshmen class.

"I didn't know it was happening until I started getting inundated with emails and (messages) filling up my voicemail," West's colleague told The Hill.

But their acknowledgment of stupidity didn't stop the Tea Party Patriots from making thinly-veiled criticism of their favorite new Congressmen:

Finally, to those who are critical of our efforts, we'd like to ask where they have been when tea partiers across the country have had their personal phone numbers and addresses posted by others. Both Jenny Beth Martin and Mark Meckler have had personal private information posted online, including home addresses and phone numbers. Those who are complaining that congressmen had their personal phone numbers and email addresses listed so that constituents could reach them, didn't express a bit out outrage at the egregious invasion of Jenny Beth's and Mark's privacy. And Jenny Beth and Mark didn't go to the media complaining about it.

Even when they're wrong, they're right. Seriously, members of Congress, if the American heroes who lead the Tea Party Patriots can handle people knowing their private contact information, you can too. That's why the Tea Party Patriots held an orientation to tell these people how Congress works despite knowing nothing about how Congress works. These random Teabagger leaders and their mishmash ideology are the very embodiment of the ten-headed founding-father monster who started this nation, the mark of TRUE LEADERSHIP. [ The Hill ]