FUNNY PICTURES  8:28 pm November 13, 2010

Pickup Truck Thanks Satan For Barack Obama Window

by Jack Stuef

Wow, matching colors! Must be a gay's truck.
Here is a pickup in Indianapolis that is very thankful that Barack Obama is our president. Whoa, slow down there, truck! It’s not even Thanksgiving yet! Leave something to be thankful for!

Obama here is wearing his usual “The Batman” comic-book Halloween costume, so that this truck window works for Thanksgiving and Halloween. And around Christmas time he can add a little green garland around it. How creative and festive!

Yes, it’s too bad it took Obama a full two years to kill that Constitution. Black presidents are so lazy, right? It’s kind of funny how that document survived the suspension of habeas corpus and other threats, but it couldn’t withstand the fact that it allowed the election of a black president. The Constitution kind of sounds like a pussy, if you ask us. And it makes sense that this truck would honor such a pussy document; it doesn’t even have truck nutz. Shameful.

Anyway, yes, thank you Satan for making this very nice truck window design. [thanks to Wonkette operative "Pete" for the photo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 278 comments }

twoeightnine November 13, 2010 at 8:34 pm

I heard the Constitution crosses to the other side of the street when it sees a black man coming down the sidewalk.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm

I heard that the Constitution also clutches her purse (yeah, guys, it's a she. Deal with it.) when a black person is waiting behind her in line at the WalMart.

twoeightnine November 13, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Well I heard that even though she clutches her purse she gets wet at the same time.

AnAmericanInTO November 13, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Well, I heard that Obama told his dog, "Sit, Lady" and the Constitution sat down – right on the floor of the elevator.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 11:20 pm

I heard the Constitution say down – right on his lap and called him O-Daddy.

Radiotherapy November 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

I heard the Constitution is "girth and length deficient".

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 12:58 am

personally it makes me nervous whenever I see a buncha white guys in military uniforms and I slowwwwly cross the street to avoid any kinda 'pre-emptive strike', since I just happen to look like one o' them swarthy Muslins…srsly, white people scare the bejeebus outta me!

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:49 am

If the ignorant fucker who owns this truck could read that sign wouldn't be there. And he would be quite surprised at what the constitution actually says.

Katydid November 14, 2010 at 9:53 am

None of this is true, because I heard the Constitution's best friend is Black.

Neilist November 14, 2010 at 11:22 am

Bet you never see the Constitution walking alone down Martin Luther King Boulevard after dark.

In any city in America.

Hell, she's afraid to walk down Constitution Boulevard after dark.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Yes, we get it, stay well-stocked with guns for the Negro Apocalypse. Anything new?

Neilist November 14, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Hell, Chet, I lived through the Disco Apocalypse.

After that, Negros getting all apocalyptic and shit wouldn't bother me a bit.

Neilist
George Lincoln Rockwell Endowed Chair
Department of Eugenics & Race Relations
Wonkette University, Nail Emporium and Rib Shack
"Knowledge Is Us!"

twoeightnine November 14, 2010 at 11:27 am

I've also heard the Constitution doesn't understand "p" rating. A +47 and it went down two points? The Constitution thinks Wonkette is a bunch of Communists.

PsycWench November 14, 2010 at 12:02 pm

No one understands "p" rating, so today we are all Constitutions.

twoeightnine November 14, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Wait, the Constitution is masturbating right now? Or doesn't masturbate? I can't remember which way this goes.

PsycWench November 14, 2010 at 5:33 pm

It doesn't need to masturbate. Once it went black, it never went back.

mumbly_joe November 14, 2010 at 6:35 pm

If the Constitution is a witch, does that me we do need to burn it? Is that why this guy's thanking Satan?

And most importantly, did the waxing trend pass it by? Can someone ask Gawker to do an investigative piece on this matter?

doxastic November 14, 2010 at 5:24 pm

The Constitution is listening in on your phone calls RIGHT NOW.

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 10:45 pm

I heard that the Constitution was dancing with Sarah Goode and the devil in the pale moonlight.

Sparky_McGruff November 13, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I'm pretty sure the constitution isn't dead. Has anyone checked the pawn shops in the DC area? Them coloreds are always stealing stuff to pawn it to get cash to pay for their crack, bling, rap music, and arugula. And the Bill Cosby sweaters.

finallyhappy November 14, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Ha, I went to see the Constitution at the Archives and couldn't read it. I figure the real one is printed in red, white and blue with eagles and Sarah Palin all over it and it is over at the Fox news office- the place for real Americans

JustPixelz November 14, 2010 at 4:21 pm

It's now the zombie constitution.

deanbooth November 13, 2010 at 8:41 pm

It makes me so angry when Satan responds "No problem!" Whatever happened to the much more pleasant and respectful "You're welcome"?

XOhioan November 14, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Mexican Satan says "De Nada."

Not_So_Much November 13, 2010 at 8:41 pm

I thought Indiana was busy trying to throw down non-existent Sharia Law? Or was that some other state that's a refuge for retards and lets them drive big trucks that are totally probably not compensating for tiny, inadequate genitalia?

metamarcisf November 13, 2010 at 9:39 pm

That's Oklahomo. Oops, Oklahoma. Yeah. We beat the shit outa them Texas Tech Red fucking Raiders today. Despite our cheerleaders having to wear those goddam burkas again. And this is all 'cause of that lady judge what stayed the enactment of the anti-sharia law election amendment what would have freed our state from mid eastern law forever. Seventy per cent of us voted for it. And yet, we're still having our hands cut off for robbing the liquor stores, not to mention the ladies getting stoned in the town square out in Enid. Athough that's nothin' new.

Texan_Bulldog November 13, 2010 at 9:46 pm

I was raised in Rush Springs (& it's okay if you've never heard of it), but it was illegal to dance there, so we would have a Jr/Sr Banquet (dinner) & then the chicks would all go get themselves liquored/knocked up…you know, since the dancing was so evil. (I could not get out of OK fast enough but am still a Sooner fan–does that make me seriously screwed up?)

metamarcisf November 13, 2010 at 10:09 pm

It's okay. Not only that. it's a hell of a lot less embarassing than being a hog fan with that sooo eeee pig thing they all seem to do at those Arkansas Bar Mitvahs

Texan_Bulldog November 13, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Funny you should mention AR. My hubby was raised in Mena & his family is now in Hot Springs. We are now watching AR beat the crap out of UTEP.
BTW Rush Springs is the self-proclaimed Watermelon Capitol of the World even though there aren't any people of color who live there. It took me awhile to figure out the whole black people/watermelon connection once I got out into the real world.

Iam_Who_Iam November 13, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Texan Bulldog: “does that make me seriously screwed up?”
Yes.

metamarcisf: My daughter was one of those sooey folks and I have worn the pig nose on her behalf. It was all very disturbing but now with an engineering degree in hand she buys me nice stuff, so Yea! Sooey Go Hogs!

Rarian Rakista November 14, 2010 at 2:07 am

Have to say I admire your two -110 point posts on beitbart.tv this week, bravo!

Not_So_Much November 13, 2010 at 10:20 pm

I was reared in Idaho, but I'm not ashamed and haven't boned (very many) sheep yet. Once you get out into central Jesusland, it all kind of melds together. Apologies if I offended anyone out there that can also read.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 13, 2010 at 10:29 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that you got reared in Idaho.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 10:57 pm

Idaho is a special kind of crazy that's pretty easy to deliniate from the rest of Central Jesustan. I always picture Idaho as a giant skinhead compound dotted with Mormons, oh, and Coeur d'Alene. And potatoes. Also.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 1:08 am

yes, yes it does…but srsly, where/ how the fuck does some town make it ILLEGAL to dance, WTF? sounds like Sharia law to me,,,goddam Xtian Taliban is just as fucked up as the Muslin Taliban, we just got bigger missiles (BTW, why does every religious extremist have small penis compensation syndrome?)

emmelemm November 14, 2010 at 2:19 am

All these comments and no one's said "So, you were (either) Kevin Bacon or Lori Singer in Footloose?!!"

ShaveTheWhales November 13, 2010 at 10:49 pm

You're a Sooner? Missed that somehow. I'm not — I'm a native Cheesehead and professional Californicator — but I have several friends who went to OU or OSU, and something I have never understood is that they are extremely great people, so WTF is up with OK, anyhow? Just a theoretical question.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 11:02 pm

On a cross-country trip during my childhood (I think this was a year after the OKC bombing) our car broke down on I-40 in downtown OKC, and we had to stay the weekend in town. We stayed somewhere in Midwest City, went to the botanical gardens, went to Lake Hefner, and saw Batman & Robin. Needless to say, when you're a boy, everything's an adventure, and from this day on my only memories of Oklahoma are fond ones, well, besides going past the slaughterhouses and stockyads on I-40 between OKC and Amarillo.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Indiana is practically an honorary member of the Confederacy (at least, that's how us Michiganders see it. Plus, they have a Southern drawl in a lot of the state), so you are forgiven for your confusion.

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:41 am

Indy boasts of being the northernmost Southern city. Kentuckiana is very southern. I call it Upper Kentucky.

It's still better than SW Ohio (Cincinutty).

the_problem_child November 13, 2010 at 10:24 pm

The Irish kicked their white trash to Virginia. The white trash who got kicked out of Virginia went to Kentucky. Indiana is where the white trash who got kicked out of Kentucky went.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 1:23 am

thanks for that history lesson, EXACTLY how I wound up in this fuckin' retarded state…hell my dear departed Irish grandma remembered seeing a cross burned on a neighbors lawn in KY, cuz they were Catholic fer gawd's sake! Indiana may be a regressive, assbackwards state but at least we don't elect retards like Rand Paul as a US Senator! (instead the morons here voted for corporate lobbyist whore Dan Coats- who hasn't even LIVED in the state for over 10 fucking years- so yeah we still got a majority of ignorant fucktards around here!)

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:42 am

At least around Bloomington, there is a fair amount of "redneck enlightenment."

BerkeleyBear November 14, 2010 at 11:21 am

And around West Lafayette, a lot of nerd enlightenment. The only problem is that Purdue grads, being largely engineers, are prone to simplicity in their political views and so wind up as GOP voters (if not particularly virulent ones).

IU/Bloomington does have a core liberal bent, especially at the grad school level. But it is coated in underage binge drinker vomit.

Not_So_Much November 14, 2010 at 11:42 am

Idaho is 14th in taxes paid and 47th in education. This is what 70ish years of voting only republican has given them. But everything is Nancy Pelosi's fault. Critical thinking is deeply frowned upon in this frozen hellscape…

natoslug November 14, 2010 at 1:59 pm

During a school fundraiser auction last year, I was seated next to Bob Nonini, who proudly announced several times that he supported education, was making education more efficient by reducing the educational budget, and other contradictory bullshit. I tried politely pointing out that he was a giant fucktard and that shitheads like him are part of the problem, not the solution, but my wife kept kicking me under the table. For the sake of my shin, I gave up on trying to talk to the turd and went to the bar to load up on G&T's and keep my mouth shut. Actually, drunk and being kicked by my wife for trying to berate assholes pretty much describes the entire 5-year period I spent in Idaho.

And the fact that I don't see long key scratches down the side of this vehicle makes me weep for the future of America. I was thinking of the children, and they disappointed the hell out of me by failing to commit acts of vandalism against douchebags like this. If head-stomping teapartiers have taught us anything, it is that violence and stupidity are the only legitimate forms of political speech.

trondant November 13, 2010 at 8:42 pm

The Constitution survived eight years of Bush wiping with it?

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:37 am

The constitution according to Bush was just a goddamned piece of paper. And of course he is just damn piece of dog shit.

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:43 am

He had the congress licking him clean.

PsycWench November 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Sometime in the next few years, the driver of that truck will not be able to see the vehicle behind him, thanks to the "Satan" picture, get into an accident and find himself provided with affordable medical care. And in the name of the Constitution he will refuse it. Right? Right?
I laugh, but bitterly so.

Not_So_Much November 13, 2010 at 9:17 pm

He'll get the same sticker for his subsidized Hoveround.

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:38 am

Hopefully he will get to meet with Satan personally after the accident and Satan can explain to him what an asshole he is.

bumfug November 13, 2010 at 8:50 pm

"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. Well, except for that I'm always broke and I drive a big ol' pickup truck that's never actually hauled anything besides my fat ass."

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:46 pm

The truck screams, "Bug Fucker"

PsycWench November 14, 2010 at 12:42 am

I bet the truck has been known to haul a container into which one spits tobacco juice and the occasional issue of "Barely Legal".

comrad_darkness November 14, 2010 at 10:36 pm

What is it with those trucks ("trucks") that have a bed area smaller than the trunk of my parents' grand marquis? They just scream: I gotta have a truck, but for no good reason I can actually cogitate, except that I loves my handful of stuff getting wet. And stolens.

4TheTurnstiles November 13, 2010 at 8:51 pm

I'm sure this fellow is a joy to work with, has a stable family life and well-balanced relationships at home, is totally GGG and is kind to animals and small children.

Nothing symptomatic about a performance like this.

Cicada November 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm

He's totally GGG with the dead hookers in his crawlspace. One out of six ain't bad.

petehammer November 15, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Woah, Cicada. Even hookers aren't that hard up for cash.

glamourdammerung November 13, 2010 at 8:53 pm

This person clearly has a personality that must pleasant enough that if they had any intelligence, they would be very thankful for "big government" preventing the folks they interact with from practicing some enlightened self interest.

Progressiveinga November 13, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Wonder if the Trucknutz match the rear window, if you know what I mean ; )

emmelemm November 13, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but: NEEDS MOAR ALT-TEXT!

(yeah, yeah, I know it's the weekend, but that's no reason to blog lazy, now is it?)

WarAndGee November 13, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Well we know the owner is no Christian. That religion prohibits praising Lucifer.

x111e7thst November 13, 2010 at 9:03 pm

The Joker's pockets are supposed to contain only knives and some lint. Which is kind of cool. I have no idea what either Barry or Satan keep in their pockets.The asshole driving this pickup truck on the other hand is still carting around the used condom from that one time he found a whore desperate enough to accept his $30. It's how he keeps the memory alive.

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Barry keeps a pack of gum, rolaids, a copy of the constitution (to wipe his black, white and red ass), dryer lint, chapstick and a US of A credit card in his pocket.

T_Party_Pickens November 14, 2010 at 2:37 am

And Mitch McConnell's testicles. Also.

HistoriCat November 14, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Maybe he should try transplanting them on Harry Reid.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Pack of Kools menthol, half empty bottle of Night Train.

ShaveTheWhales November 13, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Nevair forget.

user-of-owls November 13, 2010 at 9:06 pm

You know what makes this especially holiday appropriate? "Thanks Satan" is the inscription on the Plymouth Rock!

NYNYNY November 13, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Obama didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock…well, his mom did have some Mayflower ancestors or "Lizard People" as kids call them.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 11:25 am

Not one of Malcolm X's greatest lines, despite its rep. Doesn't parse unless you're indigenous. And the Obamas had their own issues with Buckra in Kenya.

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm

It's not what you say but how you say it. Everything ever said on Fox News combined with the channel's ratings are proof of that.

jakegittes November 13, 2010 at 9:07 pm

You gotta give the truck owner some credit for satirizing all these pickup trucks that have been turned into "shrines" for some dead person or pet, or whatever. "In loving memory of Spot. September 11, 2001–April 15, 2009." It's like these idiots are telegraphing that the only thing of value that they own is their Goddamn pickup truck, which, after another 40 payments, they'll own outright.

Yet, they are willing to put their entire net worth, consisting of whatever equity they might have in their pickup truck, on the line to commemorate the death of somebody.

What fucking devotion.

DemmeFatale November 13, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Where do they do this? Having lived in NY or CA, I have never had the (dubious) honor of seeing such a truck. I have only seen shrines on the side of the road.

jakegittes November 13, 2010 at 9:39 pm

They are all over the place in California. You have to drive around some of the more right wing enclaves to witness them. But, they are there in significant numbers.

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:52 pm

They love this in AZ too. A shrine to some kid killed at 16 in a gang fight…

Iam_Who_Iam November 13, 2010 at 11:18 pm

We have them here in Texas too, usually on some kids truck. I've been told it's a gang thing but I don't know if that's true, just cuz here in Texas everything the kids do is considered a gang thing. They are just about as afraid of the kids as they are of the browns.

BaldarTFlagass November 15, 2010 at 7:54 am

And then there's the brown kids. Whoa!

In Loving Memory of Selena, 1971-1995.

ShaveTheWhales November 13, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Oh, yeah, they're there in Cali.

To tell you the truth, I'm not quite as cynical about it as jakegittes. I can't think I'd ever do it myself — if I didn't do it when my wife died at age 33, I probably won't — but loss is loss. Memorializing it on your rear window isn't really that big of a deal to me.

OTOH, the Constitution isn't quite dead yet, despite the best efforts of the assholes that our asshole Hoosier pickup driver has elected. So mourning is not yet appropriate.

MsQuasimodo November 14, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Southern Cali, maybe anything east of the coasts.

tiger_tree November 14, 2010 at 9:14 pm

Inre: New York, I'm guessing you're one of those people who doesn't know anything exists north of Westchester County.

DemmeFatale November 14, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I'll have you know that I froze my boobs off in Rochester, NY for 7 years.
(I've always laughed when I hear someone refer to Poughkeepsie as "upstate," so I know what you mean.)

DemmeFatale November 14, 2010 at 12:37 am

Thanks all.
Next time I leave the Bay Area, I'll look for a special memorial truck.
(Is Fresno far enough, or do I have to go to Bakersfield?)

DCHatesMe November 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

That truck would look sweet with my pewter death head ring.

HempDogbane November 13, 2010 at 9:17 pm

There are only a couple kinds of pickup trucks, but an endless assortment of 'tards. The faux-reverence for the Constitution and its recent demise is a subtle touch next to the garish depiction of our Commander -in-chief. Maybe by the the time our nation completely flames out from our tight embrace with stupidity, all of our vehicles will be wallpapered with fucktardation.

In conclusion, nice choice of font, asshole !

Madam Killjoy November 13, 2010 at 9:28 pm

Under Teatard logic, shouldn't the Constitution have died in Jan 2009?

marinmaven November 13, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Shhh…they are a little slow, dontcha know.

Actually, the Constitution threw up in its mouth when W was "elected" by our Supreme Court. Then it was put into a coma and stuck in the ICU after 9/11 when habeas corpus was rendered trivial by the Bush Administration.

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:55 pm

The constitooshun died when they pulled the plug on Terri Schiavo.

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:51 am

If they could read they would have said it died shortly after the patriot act was enacted.

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Is this a war on Xmas? Has Bill O been notified?

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:53 am

Bill will again be getting out the big falfel to scrub away the evil of folks not worshiping christmas. Born a christian, I have found the Jewish solution works for me, morning at the JCC for a steam and schvitz, a trip to the Fu King for chinese, then a movie. It actually is a good day and no family where some teatards will be.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 13, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Sadly, the rear window of my pickup truck has only a vinyl silhouette of a boy urinating on the logo of another brand of pickup truck.

bitchincamaro2 November 14, 2010 at 10:31 am

As long as it's Ford (Freedumb!) tinkling on Chevy (Government owned!), you can hold your head high.

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2010 at 10:27 pm

The only "Calvin Pissing" window sticker that I found amusing was one on on an all-black Prius (w/black wheels, and dark black window tint) with Calvin pissing on an Exxon logo.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:16 pm

EXCELLENT!

petehammer November 15, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Someone tricked out a Prius? I guess that beats the lowered, tinted Subaru Lands End edition I saw over the weekend.

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2010 at 5:57 pm

I have to admit, it looked pretty badass for a Prius.

Fred_Wertham_Jr November 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm

The Constitution is a living document being fucked by corporations who are people.

el_donaldo November 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Thank you, Satan, indeed. I personally thank Satan every day that Obama got elected, but somehow I don't think that means the driver of the truck and I will see eye-to-eye on this.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Indiana: Rejecting and Denying The Enlightenment since 1816.

The teabaggers are still struggling with sarcasm and sardonism, bless their cholesteral-addled hearts. One day, someday, they'll get to a tenth of wit present in a sarcastic, liberal bumper sticker.

Stay classy, muthafuckas.

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:45 am

One good thing: Indiana does allow residents to use university libraries, gyms, etc. Real useful if you can read. IU-Bloomington has one of the largest libraries in the USA.

karen November 14, 2010 at 9:15 am

I am jealous. I miss my university library. Yes, I do like reading peer-reviewed articles for fun.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:19 pm

yep, B'ton is still one of the only liberal/ progressive cities in the state, cuz of all the educated elitists of course!

axmxz November 13, 2010 at 10:17 pm

You're welcome, my spawn.

Radiotherapy November 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm

The way I see it, Satan isn't any worse than any of the other supernatural beings and their henchman. So be it. Thanks, beelzebub — for keeping it real.

V572625694 November 13, 2010 at 10:35 pm

The driver must be a real chick magnet, if you think women are attracted like iron filings to dudes w/beer bellies and their wallets chained to their belts.

PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:58 pm

I LOVE a man with a turquoise belt buckle the size of dinner plate. The beer belly and chain wallet are just the gravy…

elpinche November 13, 2010 at 10:58 pm

This trucks is complete opposite of the Pussy Wagon.

Rarian Rakista November 14, 2010 at 2:21 am

Is it a tranny truck?

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 11:16 pm

Have you all been to Indiana? Men with beer bellies and their wallets chained to their belts are practically dime-pieces.

I mean, seriously, these are, after all, the folks proud to call themselves Hoosiers. This is the same state that fought that had to be dragged kicking and screaming into Daylinght Saving Time. Yes, even time is forced to bend to the rigidity of the Hoosier law.

V572625694 November 13, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Oh yes, four years at the Agricultural Training Institute in West Lafayette. The southern part of the state is kinda pretty. The rest is a glacial till plain of unsurpassed dullness, populated by retards.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 11:26 pm

The southern part is kind of pretty; it' also kind of Southern Baptisty, too, unfortunately. If I'm going to live in the South, I'm going to move to the real thing is all I'm saying.

I really like Kentucky, minus the head-stomping, Kentucky Colonel, missing teeth (worst in the nation, with West Virginia nipping at its heels, baby!), and smoker's lung.

BerkeleyBear November 14, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Don't forget the unapologetically pro-Nazi German-American enclave in the Southwestern part of the state (specifically south of Bloomington and just north of Evansville).

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 1:47 am

you forgot home of the Klan, surprisingly enough they OWNED the Hoosier state for years, til their evil leader raped, tortured and murdered a nice Indpls schoolmarm (and she was white!)

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 2:25 am

I saw the story on the History Channel. Goddamned was that violent.

BTW, the Klan owned Colorado, too, for a short time. This country has much to be ashamed of. It's why I get pissed off when some racist says "slavery was so-and-so many years ago; get over it." Yeah, because the minute the slaves were released everyone was just hunky-dory in their rewrite and bastardization of history.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:24 pm

wait, you mean it isn't all fixed now? REPARATIONS! (I for one would be happy to see a few TRILLION of my tax $$$$ going to make up for the slavery/ racist past in 'Merka, taken directly from the Dept. of War budget of course!)

GunTotingProgressive November 14, 2010 at 11:09 am

To be fair, the lack of DST in Arizona is one of the few things I like about the way our state deals with the federal gov. DST is dumb and does nothing (save energy) that it is advertised to do, with the sole exception of allowing one additional hour of scavenging for corn-syrup snacks on Halloween.

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 11:15 pm

I've always found DTS a silly scourge, myself. But, let's be fair to this, Indiana hasn't been resistent to DTS for some high-minded, logical reason, they've been resistent just to be stubborn and to deny any power greater than the state. So, fuck DTS, but also, fuck Indiana and it's Medieval rulers.

AtlanticCapers November 13, 2010 at 10:43 pm

It has to be said: Barack Obama has extended the suspension of habeas corpus. There's no difference between Bush and Obama. The moron with the truck may be attacking Obama for the wrong reasons, but Obama should certainly be attacked by all Americans.

fuflans November 14, 2010 at 12:43 am

oh jesus christ

(wearily).

AtlanticCapers November 14, 2010 at 12:47 am

By "oh jesus christ," I'm assuming that you're meaning to say that you're perfectly fine with your government locking people in cases without charges indefinitely. Well, you're no better than George W. Bush or Barack Obama, are you. You're just another authoritarian simpleton who goes along with whatever your master does. You are the filth that got us here.

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 1:02 am

This is Wonkette. The turn-off for Firedoglake is a couple miles back up the road.

Rarian Rakista November 14, 2010 at 2:28 am

Wait, so we have to be apologists for Obama here?

fuflans November 14, 2010 at 11:57 am

no, no that's not really what i meant but as others have explained our mission here far more eloquently than i ever could (and i suspect it's something of a lost cause), i will keep my powder dry and fix a mimosa instead.

cheers!

snoopyfan2010 November 14, 2010 at 10:43 pm

If you keep saying his name that way, he might think you like him.

ShaveTheWhales November 14, 2010 at 3:23 am

What, the little tart tasting mini-pea things? Didn't know there was a specific Atlantic version. Or a nitwit version.

This also has to be said: The moron with the truck is attacking Obama for precisely ONE wrong reason – that he is not white.

Many Wonketeers find fault with the President (including me, with respect to, inter alia, civil rights). This does not mean that we cannot criticize, or mock, attacks on him (or, less likely, her) that are not based on principle or reasoned argument.

Nor does it mean that every unprincipled, unreasoned attack should be used as a rallying point by folks with newly-created accounts who think they have some kind of unrelated but legitimate beef piccata.

If you want to criticize President Obama on this blog, stick around for a week or so. Unfortunately, you will probably have at least one chance for a good shot.

But, until then, and in case no one has ever explained this to you: On smaller comment threads like Wonkette, threadjacking almost never works, and we're really tired of it.

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 10:50 am

Well said, Shave.

AtlanticCapers November 14, 2010 at 12:03 pm

It's interesting how you're been trained to equate truth with hijacking. Your capacity for intelligence has been stolen from you.

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Does your wife know you're on the computer again?

finallyhappy November 14, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Ok- some differences- Bush was white(rch but still trash)-, Obama is half -black/ half white- also part African. Bush was dumb, Obama graduated from Harvard Law where he was head of the law review. Bush had a spaniel, Obama has a Portuguese water dog. However, both men have two daughters- so you ARE partially right.

DoktorZoom November 14, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Look, it's people like you what give pederasty a bad name.

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:46 am

O. is slightly slicker than B. Otherwise, you're right.

comrad_darkness November 14, 2010 at 2:15 pm

You can say pretty much anything here if you respect the community and set it in a plateload of snark. Like: "I can see the decal of Satan Loves Bush peeking out at the edges, he also loved him some suspension of habeas corpus."

If you are waiting to throw your oh so important total support behind a gold-armored hero that will solve every single constitutional fuck up we currently have going you going to be living as a peasant in the middle of the expressway tasked with licking the road clean every morning before that happens. This is where the republicans have a huge advantage, their voters don't care how the little guy gets screwed over by big business, as long as there is some progress in that direction every term. So, guess what. They win.

AtlanticCapers November 14, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Barack Obama, like the people who support him, is a right-wing nut job. I think it's important to to be truthful. Obama supporters think it's important to lie all the time.

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Really, just STFU or GTFO. That, or you can send me a picture of your obese, HoverRound-bound mother and all will be forgiven.

comrad_darkness November 14, 2010 at 10:56 pm

I keep missing the funny in your posts; it's like you just don't get it. But somehow, you expect Obama to get it, don't you? Even if you are totally incapable. You expect others to do the shit you want, but never ever cotton on to anyone else, yourself, personally.

Here, I'll try to demonstrate again. (BTW, Nuance is important, and you are, unfortunately, straying ever farther from that. Which is a pretty stunning achievement, based on your first stake in the sand there at the top of the thread.)

"When President Palin hands over the podium to Secretary Bachmann, who, proceeds, with no inkling of irony, to explain how very patriotic and important the FEMA re-education camps for college educated elitists are to the future of our country, remind me again how it doesn't matter which party we elect."

GOPCrusher November 15, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Oh, I remember this one. Its that old "Buyers Remorse" ploy. All 66 million people that voted for him are victims of his Jedi Mind Trick.

mumbly_joe November 14, 2010 at 6:45 pm

I don't disagree with the sentiment necessarily (although I prefer the more precise and accurate and less Firebaggy "There's little daylight between the two on civil liberties issues, torture notwithstanding", myself), BUT:

Off-topic unfunny comment is still off-topic and unfunny, and an extra -1 for not at least throwing a dick joke in to keep it real. If you want to make a serious comment, at least make lip service to the format with a joke about genitals at the end- we'll all respect you more for it.

Pragmatist2 November 13, 2010 at 10:49 pm

I think it's a typo. I think they meant "Santa."

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:44 am

Satan Clause is out there Jimmy.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 1:48 am

WIN! (the edjumakashun ain't so gud heer lately!)

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 2:21 am

I think they meant Stan. Who is Stan?

GOPCrusher November 15, 2010 at 12:52 pm

I think they meant Miroslav Satan, but I didn't know that people in Indiana were Boston Bruins fans.

elpinche November 13, 2010 at 10:56 pm
PublicLuxury November 13, 2010 at 10:58 pm

So are you saying cousins shouldn't marry?

LionelHutzEsq November 13, 2010 at 11:10 pm

You know, we all should have known that everything was going down hill when Obama's first act as president was to pardon Satan.

LionelHutzEsq November 13, 2010 at 11:12 pm

Wait, I thought the Constitution was a guy, but he only dated Asian chicks.

Rarian Rakista November 14, 2010 at 2:02 am

That's the Federal Reserve.

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 2:20 am

That's what she said.

ShaveTheWhales November 13, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Personally, I thank Santa every Xmas.

I grew up in Wisconsin. Yes, I know my once-constatriots have just ejected Russ Feingold from the Senate in favor of a rich-in-law weasel. But back when I lived there, and the cortical blight hadn't yet manifested itself, we used to think of Hoosiers as fellow mid-westerners. A little conservative, due to the fact that they (like Illinois) probed deeply into the southern cuntry; and seriously annoying because of the fact that even the white guys were great ballers. But still, mid-westerners.

Which means, among other things, armed.

Why is this person's rear window still intact?

Radiotherapy November 13, 2010 at 11:18 pm

I was thinking the same thing. A little stealthy civil disobedience is in order here. If that fuck lived nearby he better not fall asleep.

Rotundo_ November 14, 2010 at 11:18 am

It does cry out for a brick, large rock, or a close range dose of shotgun fire. I'd opt for a large rock with some misspelled babbling about communism and committees coming to get him scrawled in crayon wrapped around it. You'll never change an idiot mind, but you can fuck with it.

comrad_darkness November 14, 2010 at 10:59 pm

I don't know. This douche is just wet dreaming about someone making him a martyr. Don't make his pretty wishes come true.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:40 pm

probaly cuz the few liberals living here don't own guns (it's against the state constitution doncha know?!) but if I got a brick on hand when I spot this Trucknutz around town, well then who knows how long the window stays intact?

V572625694 November 13, 2010 at 11:16 pm

OT, but it's time to go home now. from WaPo:

"KABUL- President Hamid Karzai said on Saturday that the United States must reduce the visibility and intensity of its military operations in Afghanistan and end the increased U.S. Special Operations forces night raids that aggravate Afghans and could exacerbate the Taliban insurgency. In an interview with The Washington Post, Karzai said that he wanted American troops off the roads and out of Afghan homes and that the long-term presence of so many foreign soldiers would only worsen the war."

Barry, do you need a better invitation than this? We win! War over! Jim Morrison dancing on the ramparts while the cathedral bells ring!

transfatz November 14, 2010 at 3:19 am

I'm sure he wants us to continue to deliver the pallets of Ameros though. Without American troops and mercenary security Karzai's life expectancy is about five minutes. See you back in London Hamid. (We should make him fly coach).

V572625694 November 14, 2010 at 4:48 am

Better the money than the money and the dead soldiers and the giant subsidies to Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Big Oil, etc.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 12:02 pm

A German guy I know spent some time traveling solo in Afghanistan back in the 70s. He told me that, based on how Karzai dresses and comports himself, Afghanis surely think Karzai is a joke and a woman, and he would be fucked up immediately without U.S. protection. I've got nothing against a jaunty cap and cape myself, but I hope Karzai has an exit strategy.

kenlayisalive November 14, 2010 at 4:16 am

Karzai you dog, our soldiers out of afghans homes? We came to bring you freedom, not the third amendment.

LionelHutzEsq November 13, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Where is the DC sniper when you need him?

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 11:29 pm

In Muslim Heaven with 72 virgins, Virginia. 72 never-been-kissed, deceased spinsters, to be more exact, but 72 virgins, nonetheless.

bitchincamaro2 November 14, 2010 at 5:18 pm

I'd say this is a job for Ernest T. Bass, but he probably owns the fucking truck.

BarackMyWorld November 13, 2010 at 11:35 pm

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Wait…Union? Provide for a common defense? General welfare? What the hell kind of commie horseshit is this anyways?

V572625694 November 14, 2010 at 12:44 am

Show me where it says that in the Constitution!

HistoriCat November 14, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Once they finish up the Conservative Bible, they'll move on to the Conservative Constitution. That's going to be one awesome experience.

WriteyWriterton November 13, 2010 at 11:39 pm

BHO: "I am SO taking the Constitution's lunch money at recess tomorrow. Then I'm gonna knock it down, sit on its chest and make it punch itself inna *&^%in' FACE."

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 12:50 am

Why are you hitting yourself, Constitution? Stop hitting yourself.

donner_froh November 13, 2010 at 11:45 pm

Well, since there is nothing in the First Amendment about the rear window of big-ass pickup trucks it must be OK to toss this brick through that window.

fuflans November 14, 2010 at 12:49 am

but has anyone thought about the salads?

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:45 am

Only salads that are tossed.

smokefilledroommate November 15, 2010 at 4:05 am

I'll have the Satan Salad hot, with a pitchfork and a side of Dumbass Hick.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 12:53 am

being a native Hoosier I can attest to the blatant racism/ mental retardation of many of our native inbred morons, just cuz we ain't officially in the South don't mean we can't generate some serious hate agin the black Muslin President…after all the Klan was a favorite 'social organization' here for years and they loved themselves a good lynchin' once in a while (good times!) Fuck do I hate this state, and currently plannin' my escape to Canada via the Underground Railroad! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Klan

zhubajie November 14, 2010 at 8:47 am

I fled Bloomington, IN, for Changchun, PRC. It's a good choice. No open container laws in China!

Beowoof November 14, 2010 at 1:46 am

Yep Jesus was all about hating on the black guy cause he's black and I bet he really thinks its funny that they put him in White face so they can tolerate him as president with out going crazier than they alreaddy are.

ShaveTheWhales November 14, 2010 at 3:34 am

Indeedy. Since Jesus was, you know, of the House of David and so a pretty-long-term Semite, and therefore just about as tan as anybody else in the region. (Somehow, the paintings never quite capture the tan or, you know, the nose).

transfatz November 14, 2010 at 4:23 am

How many centuries will it take for Indiana to tire of being the "strange fruit state"?

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 4:43 am

For as long as it takes the People's Republic of Chicago to annex and impose their will upon them; that's how long.

Ok, ok. I'll stop the Hoosier bashing. After all, they do have a Muslim congressmen, even if he's from left-of-center Indianpolis. Doesn't Indiana loose another congressional district this go-around? I bet they try to redistrict him out of his seat.

Office_39 November 14, 2010 at 6:26 am

"Whoa, look at Billy-bob's pickup!"
"Lordy, ha-ha, that's Billy-bob. He just don't care, speaks his mind no matter what."
"Ha-ha, yes he does. Ha-ha."
"Oh, shit! His truck just blew up when he turned over the ignition!!"
"Goddamn, what's wrong with America!"

I know that enjoying the imaginary scene above is wrong but I can't help myself.

lochnessmonster November 14, 2010 at 6:54 am

The person who drives this vehicle doesn't need any truck nutz if they're nuts enough to drive around in this truck.

Numbat_Dundee November 14, 2010 at 8:05 am

Can I say, though, as an aside, how proud I am, as an Australian, that you elected Heath Ledger as your President, despite his not having a birth certificate or meeting that other techinical requirement of being alive.
Still, despite being dead, he is smarter and more effective than Dubya.

HistoriCat November 15, 2010 at 10:47 am

Where in the Constitution does is say that you need to be alive??

Redhead November 14, 2010 at 8:09 am

I missed Satan's guest appearance in the Dark Knight.

And are we sure he didn't just misspell Santa?

Monsieur_Grumpe November 14, 2010 at 9:24 am
fuflans November 14, 2010 at 11:35 am

and thank you interwebs and editing software!

these fools are the best argument the luddites never had.

i_AM_ready November 14, 2010 at 10:06 am

I'm surprised to see this in Indiana, that great state that gave the world….

mmm, well, unlike Illinois, they do sell fireworks!. So Chicagoans can make a quick trip and celebrate July 4 in style….

Wait, no, the Indiana cops stop the cars with Illinois plates as they're leaving the fireworks stores.

Well I'm sure Indiana must have contributed something to mankind. I just can't think of it right now.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 12:10 pm

I don't think the IN police are trying hard enough. I live on the Southeast Side of Chicago 5 minutes from the border, and the People's Unofficial Fireworks Show on the 4th of July in my neighborhood was spectacular.

DoktorZoom November 14, 2010 at 9:01 pm

Kurt Vonnegut. Indiana gave us Kurt Vonnegut, and, heck, his older brother Bernard the atmospheric scientist, and that really does make up for a lot.

'I myself grew up in Indianapolis, where common speech sounds like a band saw cutting galvanized tin, and employs a vocabulary as unornamental as a monkey wrench.'

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 11:17 pm

And Michael Jackson and Larry Bird!

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:50 pm

….and Dan Quayle, don't forget Da…oh, never mind

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:49 pm

yep, KG is a hero to us native Hoosiers, at least the few libruls like me who still live here (grew up in Indy myself and unfortunately moved back years ago to help with the family business) and a friend of mine runs the wonderful German beer hall in town designed bu Kurt's grandpa…never thought I had much of an accent but then maybe years of speech therapy as a child helped?!

voodooeconomics November 14, 2010 at 10:14 am

Satan's truck rolling down the highway. The individual driving The Devil's truck is satisfied that the GOP sent his job to China and he is just pissed off that Hussein wants to bring it back to Indiana.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:56 pm

yup, they love those Repigs here so much they just elected the same asshole Dan Coats- AGAIN!- who worked very hard (and was paid handsomely) to help his corporate masters send them good jobs to China…unfortunately when you try to explain this to the morons their eyes glaze over and, well that's it…as my dear departed Dad used to say, 'never argue with a Repig, it just frustrates you and irritates the Repig'

bitchincamaro2 November 14, 2010 at 10:28 am

Finally, an opportunity for priests to redeem themselves. All of DC should be bathed in holy water!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/13/us/13exorcism.h

Rotundo_ November 14, 2010 at 11:31 am

If they do, they should try to harness some of the resultant steam from the contact with evil to generate power. Imagine what a gallon of that shit would do splashed on Boehner's office floor or Issa's rugs. It would make Old Faithful look like steam coming off your dogs morning piss.

Thedongsofwar November 14, 2010 at 10:56 am

Ironic hipster pick up driving fundamentalists need a voice too.

weejee November 14, 2010 at 11:04 am

Hell of a job you've done there Lucifer.

BarackMyWorld November 14, 2010 at 11:09 am

All kidding aside…I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that someone probably paid money to have a photoshopped picture of Obama put on their truck.

HedonismBot November 14, 2010 at 11:10 am

All sarcasm aside, if anyone can explain the Obama = Joker meme to me, that would be much appreciated. Usually, I appreciate anachronims and non-sequiturs (non-sequita?) but this one's got me buffaloed.

darwinwept November 14, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I'd love an explanation, too. Let me know if you ever get one.

JustPixelz November 14, 2010 at 3:41 pm

It's easy:
1) Obama was on television with Oprah
2) Oprah was in "The Color Purple" with Whoopi Goldberg
3) Whoopi was in "Soapdish" with Kevin Kline
4) Kevin was in "Sophie's Choice" with Meryl Streep
5) Meryl was in "Heartburn" with Jack Nicholson
6) Jack was in "A Few Good Men" with Kevin Bacon

HistoriCat November 15, 2010 at 10:50 am

Nope, still confused. Can you lay it out on a chalkboard for me?

freakishlywrong November 14, 2010 at 3:50 pm

It's the same logic that allows for a movement called the "Tea" party that means "taxed enough already" when their taxes had just gone down. See?

mumbly_joe November 14, 2010 at 7:09 pm

I can't, because the fucking hipster who actually did the photoshopping to make the image, was either making far to much subtler and nuanced a point about the public being sold a bill of goods is Obama than is imaginable, as demonstrated by the fact that he can't actually explain it in human language, or else he's just some douchebag who didn't like Obama for incredibly vague and insubstantial/firebaggy reasons.

Anyway, then some teabaggers found the image, loved it because Obama's the Antichrist, because he's black, also, and attached the word SOCIALIZMS to it- which is actually kinda funny, since the douchebag hipster who originally made the thing claims to be a Kuchinichnik, but also, not a liberal (???).

fuflans November 14, 2010 at 9:01 pm

damn that's fascinating.

i always wondered what the hell the o'bama / joker image was supposed to represent. it doesn't make any sense whatsoever – and baggers don't typically use (relatively) current hollywood references.

thanks.

joker / dr. who 2012!

emmelemm November 14, 2010 at 11:46 pm

OK, read that article (OK, skimmed). That was very interesting, in that "never would have guessed" along with "none of that really made any sense" kind of way.

So the article says the artist disagrees with Republicans on foreign policy, but agrees with them on domestic issues, but then it says he would have voted for Kuchinich? And then his last line is, "Who said socialism is evil"? DOES NOT COMPUTE. My feeble brain has crapped out.

mumbly_joe November 15, 2010 at 7:36 am

I know! It's as though he's literally some idiot asshole hipster who has no idea what he's talking about, or something!

johnnyzhivago November 14, 2010 at 11:24 am

Just wait for the new Sharia Vehicle Safety Code to kick in…

neiltheblaze November 14, 2010 at 11:44 am

I love how all the Talibangicals seem to forget all about the "bearing false witness" commandment. They're all going to hell – at least according to their own rule-book.

EdFlintstone November 14, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Well for Mr. faux patriot, it was either spend a 100 bucks on a rear window decal or send a gift box to the troops, an easy decision when your entire philosophy is about hate and bullshit.

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Someone in IN should write that up on bumpersticker paper and plant it on the window.

bynrdskynrd November 14, 2010 at 4:46 pm

And Ed, I think that would be the ultimate burn….get the Left and all Liberals to donate for the next few years to the soldiers, rather than political stances and party hacks…betcha' hater-boy couldn't hold a candle to those who did the "Yes,we went there and yes, we did!"

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 1:31 pm

You know what slays me about the faux pats? They are aligned with the same group that is all, "god's will this and god's will that". When something good happens (a neighbor's kids is killed in a car accident where their son walked away, for example), it's a miracle…it's GOD'S WILL. But if something they don't like happens, it all Satan's fault. Why do they conveniently forget that the Devil is also God's Will?

Fuck them all.

bitchincamaro2 November 14, 2010 at 5:27 pm

We can blame Flip Wilson. He may have been the first popular black man to blame his shortcomings on the devil.

aious November 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm

What makes me laugh about these pictures is how the entire right-wing base went NUTS whenever people had simply an Anti-War sticker that just said "Anti-War"…..and claimed that anything Bush-related should NOT be allowed and that these stickers were "terrible"

Now we have right-wingers with hitler/obama sticks…satan/obama stickers….and other things

These people really could not be bigger hypocrites if they tried

Rarian Rakista November 14, 2010 at 2:58 pm

SISS

Satirists in Satan's Service

Mort_Sinclair November 14, 2010 at 3:18 pm

Someday I hope the owner of that truck comes out to find it up on cinder blocks, bumpers yanked off, windows busted, and a thank-you note on the front seat that reads, "No, thank YOU!"

JustPixelz November 14, 2010 at 3:45 pm

I thought you're supposed to thank Satan by giving him your soul. If I'd known a window sticker was good enough … well, let's just say my life would have taken a different course.

Barrelhse November 14, 2010 at 10:14 pm

But your guitar playing would have suffered.

freakishlywrong November 14, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Americah, fuck yeah?

JustPixelz November 14, 2010 at 3:56 pm

His sign says the Constitution died this year. And truck window signs DO NOT LIE. So who or what is that constitution I see still being followed? OMG! OMG! OMG! It must be Zombie Constitution!

Everybody stay calm.

TP'ers and Beck fans, you have nothing to fear. Like all zombies, Zombie Constitution only wants to eat our brains. Unfortunately this is bad news for wonketteers with their zesty snark-flavored brains.

HempDogbane November 14, 2010 at 9:17 pm

zesty, wrinkly, snark-flavored brains.

One_who_wanders November 15, 2010 at 7:57 am

Shotguns, we all need shotguns. Movies and videogames mean we are all well prepared for the zombie constitution shambling down the halls of Congress. If it doesn't starve to death in there.

Chet Kincaid November 15, 2010 at 8:45 am

You've got to go back to the original Haitian Zombie mythology to grasp what's happening here. Having ritually sacrificed the Constitution under Bush, the Wingtard Voudumb Priests have resurrected it with a secret blend of Freedom Powders to do their bidding. You see it sitting around the compound, dazed and ashy, wondering what the fuck happened and how it ended up mumbling "kill the halfbreed" as the 28th Amendment. It's all in my new book, "The Eagle And the Rainbow."

HistoriCat November 15, 2010 at 10:56 am

Sorry, I don't have the time to read the book. Can you make a half-assed movie version?

genxr November 15, 2010 at 12:47 pm

I think it was called Live and Let Die

bynrdskynrd November 14, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Lovin' the 'Living the Red State Loathing' that is going on here on this page. Anyone wanna do a pissing contest to the batshit insane things going on in the Asshole of California (Arizona)?

deyallbad November 14, 2010 at 5:03 pm

"Yes, it’s too bad it took Obama a full two years to kill that Constitution. Black presidents are so lazy, right? It’s kind of funny how that document survived the suspension of habeas corpus and other threats, but it couldn’t withstand the fact that it allowed the election of a black president."

What's too bad is that Bush paved the way, and then Obama took it to the nth…..he and Bush both should be in that truck window….thanking satan.

Bluestatelibel November 14, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I seem to recall enduring endless finger waggings from Repubatards telling me I ought to respect Bush no matter what because he's the president and to respect the "office of the president." Whatever happened to that?

bitchincamaro2 November 14, 2010 at 5:34 pm

I let out a hearty "FUCK YOU" at Bush's visage as Matt Lauer peppered him on the re-run of their Q&A today on the teevee. Unfortunately this was the same moment my darling wife suggested I had not cooked the potato long enough in her salade nicoise. W is a war criminal and a home wrecker.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Serves you right for eatin' fancy foods with extra e's on the end of 'em.

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Silly Blue…Bush was white. We had to at least respect the office since the president was white, also. Also, also – the current president is a blackamoor. He has, by his very existence sullied the prestige of the office. I wouldn't be surprised if they have to build a whole new white house for the next white president…or at least fumigate.

Chet Kincaid November 14, 2010 at 7:01 pm

I like that word, "blackamoor". "BlackAmour" would be my slowjam R&B crooner name, if I had the pipes.

HistoriCat November 15, 2010 at 10:59 am

Bush was white Republican. We had to at least respect the office since the president was white Republican, also

I'm pretty sure I remember Clinton getting bagged on too … one rule for Rs, one for Ds.

comrad_darkness November 14, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Ha ha ha ha. You're so quaintly naïve it's almost cute.

Negropolis November 14, 2010 at 10:43 pm

There is a strange black man hanging outside the White House. Someone call the police.

transfatz November 14, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Well, thank you Satan indeed. Barry looks pretty good in whiteface, lipstick and kohl.

DahBoner November 14, 2010 at 8:51 pm

I don't know but when you see a golf cart with a orange boner and a lobbyiest shitting all over the Constitution and laughing about it…

…you should definately check your wallet.

Barrelhse November 14, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Does this truk have NUTZ??!

voodooeconomics November 14, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Driving Satan's truck to a bank to pick up the socialist farm subsidy check. Could be one of those socialists on medicare

snoopyfan2010 November 14, 2010 at 10:57 pm

This … is … getting … OLD.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:05 pm

yeah but there's nothing new to comment on til tomorrow and evidently some of us have waaaay to much time on our hands on Sunday evening!

HedonismBot November 15, 2010 at 8:09 am

If Obama is the worst thing Satan can do, ol Beezus better step up his game.

finallyhappy November 15, 2010 at 8:15 am

well, for these right wing morans- what could be worse than an educated black man being President? Clarence Thomas on the Court was ok- being a fool and a tool but a smart black man- educated well beyond all of his detractors – being the leader of the USA. What more could the Devil do? Of course, to me, believing in Satan makes the whole thing moot – idiots,morans, dumber than dirt.

MarionNYNY November 15, 2010 at 8:39 am

But the tableau isn't complete. Your photographer missed the confederate flag bumper sticker by the license plate.

problemwithcaring November 15, 2010 at 10:02 am

So the Church Lady from SNL is a teabagging truck driver. I wonder what other fictional SNL characters are secretly tebaggers. You just know The Mango is a Beck fan.

guyfromIndy November 15, 2010 at 11:32 am

In defense of the hoosier state -I also saw this truck, and it had Florida licence plate.

jus_wonderin November 15, 2010 at 11:44 am

Fuck this asshole with a two by four.

davitydave November 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Again, embarrassed to be a Hoosier.

GOPCrusher November 15, 2010 at 12:32 pm

When Democrats called Bush a "Retarded Chimp", it was treason.
When Republiklans portray Obama as the Joker or a Witch Doctor, and compare him to Satan/Hitler/Stalin, etc., it is patriotism.

genxr November 15, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Wait, according to his window sticker, the Constitution died in 2010 when all the teabaggers were elected to Congress.

jajadasliebe November 15, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I am so proud of you, Indianapolis. Hope this truck has nutz.

JGambolputty November 15, 2010 at 8:50 pm

I thought Bush killed the Constitution. Or used it as toilet paper that one time.

Not_So_Much November 13, 2010 at 11:04 pm

North = Skinheads and fine seasonal weed. South = More Mormans than can be counted (because they're constantly breeding). The rest is covered with guns, snow and sadness. Also.

Neilist November 14, 2010 at 11:26 am

You left out ". . . and Amercia's Supercop, Mark Furman!"

(Hey, what's wrong with potatoes? I use one for a brain.)

finallyhappy November 14, 2010 at 4:05 pm

What about lentils-or is it peas? I wass once chartacterizing Idaho as a place full of potatoes and the Idahoan(?) said nope- we have lentils too(or peas- as if I really paid attention)

trampndirtdown November 14, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Thanks for throwing Cda in there.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 13, 2010 at 11:58 pm

This is not what I learned from "Napoleon Dynamite." Sure, Idaho has jocks and popular girls and douchebag principals, but Pedro and LaFawnda and Miss Starla balance things out.

mumbly_joe November 15, 2010 at 1:21 am

Replace weed with meth, Mormons with meth, and meth with more meth, and you could just as easily be describing Sarah Palin's Alaska. Also, too.

T_Party_Pickens November 14, 2010 at 2:39 am

Yes. It's in the CONTRACT WITH SATAN! Muh-huh-huh-huh-hah-hah-haaaaah.

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 2:46 am

The earnest troll is earnest. We demand he snark or GTFO.

7pilesofwisdom November 14, 2010 at 4:36 am

Back when I was a lad and TR was in the White House, Hope, Arkansas –the natal Ground Zero of Bill Clinton — advertised itself as "the home of the world's largest watermelon," then only a puny 154 lbs. (this was before steroids). Nowadays I bet they're reaching 300 lbs. near Chernobyl.

Not_So_Much November 14, 2010 at 11:31 am

The most accurate part of Napoleon was the 'Baldwin Fun Machine' background music. It plays there 24×7. Drives undesirable sane people away.

AtlanticCapers November 14, 2010 at 12:05 pm

For simpletons, truth is always be trolling.

DashboardBuddha November 14, 2010 at 12:54 pm

"For simpletons, truth is always be trolling. "

Troll::Truth as Ass::Hole in the ground

…unless you were looking in a mirror when you wrote this…then it is more true than we all imagine.

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Perhaps you have not noticed, but this is a satire site. People are here to try to larf. If you want to go into a humorless and self-righteous froth, there are plenty of places on the interwebs where you can do that and get a happy ending from your like-minded humorless brethren. You want to do it here, fine, but then don't complain if someone calls you a troll or sighs wearily.

metamarcisf November 14, 2010 at 5:08 pm

Welcome to Wonkette. Please enjoy yourself and stay as long as you like. As always, if you run out of material, fart jokes are appreciated greatly.

AtlanticCapers November 14, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Look, if you're too stupid to understand why political satire is deserving of political debate, you're far to stupid to be explaining political satire. That's not an attack on you; I'm just letting you know you're stupid.

imissopus November 14, 2010 at 7:12 pm

I didn't say it was unworthy of debate, I simply said this particular satire site is not the place where it's likely to happen. But hey, if you want to do first-grade-level name-calling, so's your face.

user-of-owls November 14, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Too stupid, not to stupid. So my comment is basically, far TOO stupid, just to be clear.

DoktorZoom November 14, 2010 at 8:45 pm

I love when some moran wanders in here and decides they are A Much Better Liberal than we foolish Wonketteers with our drinking and our buttsecks jokes. It's mildly amusing to see them try to alert us to the violence inherent in the system. Sadly, their dudgeon-to-funny ratio is usually all outta whack.

Where are the Molly Ivinses of yesteryear?

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:30 pm

only a REALLY stupid person would use the word 'stupid' so many times in one short sentence, to prove yer not STOOPID of course…fucking moron…also :)

trampndirtdown November 14, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Sad we lost you sluggy, I see Bob around town occasionally and it would be nice to know that I'm not the only one he hates to see coming.

Dashboard_Jesus November 14, 2010 at 11:00 pm

oh if I see this truck nutz driving around Indy will def. leave him a Wonkette-appropriate repy!

Lascauxcaveman November 14, 2010 at 8:53 pm

Correct. 300+ pounds and an average of six legs.

horsedreamer_1 November 15, 2010 at 8:22 am

& Huckabee!

natoslug November 15, 2010 at 12:05 am

The call of the ocean, redwood trees and banana slugs was too great to resist. Idaho was nice as well. If only I'd been allowed to eliminate most of the people, I might have been willing to stay. Sigh . . .

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2010 at 1:35 am

Bush = Obama = Bush = Gore = Clinton = Nixon = Bush.

But The One True Saviour & Divine Hero is, of course, Ralph Nader.

This is the gospel according to Sincere Libtard.

(I touch myself.)

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