STILL PLENTY OF FREE PASSES (9/11)  5:24 pm November 12, 2010

George W. Bush Plagiarized Passages of His Book, Executed Innocent Guy

by Jack Stuef

Hey, thanks for the help. 'Preciate it.Isn’t it great to have our previous president back in the news these days? How about this one: He lifted passages of his book out of other people’s books and news articles? Yes, he did! Or rather, whoever was putting together his book did. Hey, c’mon, why would Bush want to remember stuff himself? It’s much easier to copy and paste together other accounts of his life, switch a few words around, and call it a day. In fact, pages 48-164 probably seem so odd because they were lifted directly from the screenplay of W.: And then I turned to Rumsfeld and said, “Rummy, INT. H.W.’s KENNEBUNKPORT OFFICE – DAY. BUSH sits down.” Oh, and he sort of let a guy on death row die despite needing a stay for a DNA check that it seems would have exonerated him. Cool!

The Huffington Post has a lot of these “lifted passages.” Here’s one:

The Bush White House challenged the accuracy of Bob Woordward’s account of the administration’s march toward war when he turned critical, but Bush relied heavily on those texts.

From Decision Points, p. 145: “I began my first Cabinet meeting since the terrorist attacks. As I stepped into the room, the team broke out in sustained applause. I was surprised, and I choked up at their heartfelt support. The tears flowed for the second time in two days.”

From Woodward’s Bush at War, p. 65: “The entire Cabinet, meeting at the White House for the first time since the terrorist attacks, stood and applauded when President Bush entered the room. Caught by surprise, Bush choked up for a moment, the second time in two days he had lost his composure in front of others.”

Hey, if these people already wrote books about him, what’s the big deal? Are you really asking him to remember his own life and/or all the human beings he ordered dead? He can’t do that. This is a man who laughs anew at SpongeBob SquarePants every morning even though he has seen every episode at least 10 times.

And then there’s this:

Claude Jones always claimed that he wasn’t the man who walked into an East Texas liquor store in 1989 and shot the owner. He professed his innocence right up until the moment he was strapped to a gurney in the Texas execution chamber and put to death on Dec. 7, 2000. His murder conviction was based on a single piece of forensic evidence recovered from the crime scene—a strand of hair—that prosecutors claimed belonged to Jones.

But DNA tests completed this week at the request of the Observer and the New York-based Innocence Project show the hair didn’t belong to Jones after all. The day before his death in December 2000, Jones asked for a stay of execution so the strand of hair could be submitted for DNA testing. He was denied by then-Gov. George W. Bush.

Tough shit. That’s just how life works. You kill some innocent people, you kill some less than innocent people, and you kill some innocent people. [HuffPo/Texas Observer]

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natoslug November 12, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Hey, we all make mistakes. Who among us can say they've never let a man die because we're too lazy to do our job? It's not like he fucked a goat or invaded another country based on completely fabricated bullshit. Why, I myself have been known to murder millions of proto-Americans in a single day on long lunch hours while perusing youporn and xtube.

Negropolis November 12, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Ha! Proto-Americans are the best Hyphenated-Americans.

Stacee November 13, 2010 at 7:58 am

I peep in my neighbors' windows without them knowing. Hey, they may be terrorists or something.
If they have nothing to hide, they have nothing to worry about.

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:06 am

You and Crowley (rumored to be GWB's grampa!)

An_Outhouse November 13, 2010 at 4:00 pm

He didn't fuck a goat? Is that in the book?

Dashboard_Jesus November 15, 2010 at 12:42 am

'My Pet Goat'…nevr fergit!!!

mookwrthwilson November 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

As punishment for all his misdeeds, I say we strap W to a gurney and make him eat 1 pickled fetus for every American service member who died in Iraq.

moralturpentine November 12, 2010 at 5:47 pm

And, as a bonus if United States Americans do the fetusboarding it's not torture, and anyway our soldiers are fetusboarded all the time as part of their SERE training.

mookwrthwilson November 12, 2010 at 7:57 pm

fetusboarding…now that's a word that I hope catches on…can someone create a photoshop of a fetusboarding?

Extemporanus November 12, 2010 at 8:22 pm
mookwrthwilson November 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Needs moar shirtless men…

LionHeartSoyDog November 13, 2010 at 2:46 am

Mmmmmm. Pickles!

Rotundo_ November 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm

And he took great pride in stating in the book and in interviews that he authorized waterboarding KSM. So this week, he admitted to a crime, we find out he (or his ghost writer) plagiarized the book and he denied an innocent man's appeal to use DNA evidence to clear himself before being put to death in Texas. Imagine what the sequel will be like! George, if you're listening, you might not want to take the book tour to Europe. I don't think the reception will be as friendly as Matt Lauer was…

Lascauxcaveman November 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Pretty darn sure some o' them 100,000 dead Iraqi civilians weren't so very 'innocent' either.

Damn straight.

petehammer November 12, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Dunno if muslins believe in original sin, but there's your justification right there!

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:07 am

Closer to a million, according to the Lancet, among other sources. Assuming you believe scientists.

DemmeFatale November 13, 2010 at 10:57 pm

Damn! Too bad I was eating when that eviscerated-road-kill picture thing came up! (Nice bike, though.)

Lascauxcaveman November 15, 2010 at 12:31 pm

That's what our kitty does to trespassing rabbits.

Thedongsofwar November 12, 2010 at 5:35 pm

I think I know about a lil' old place called America pretty well. I'm willing to guess people are going to be more (sorta) outraged over the plagiarism than letting that guy get executed.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 12, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Hey, buddy, a little plagiarizin' and payin' somebody else to do your writin' will get you through Andover, Yale, and Harvard Biz School, and I oughta know!

GeoffPeterson November 12, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Bush didn't actually write the book himself, did he? I can't imagine he would be able to sustain focus for long enough to lift enough passages from other texts to flesh out his own memoirs.

What I'm trying to say is, why pick on Georgie? Why isn't anyone accusing his ghostwriter of plagiarism?

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:08 am

Who is the ghost writer?

An_Outhouse November 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

He did draw all the pictures in the companion coloring book himself. He outsourced the captions. That's why they're in Korean.

DustBowlBlues November 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm

Did anyone listen to The Takeaway on Friday? A guy who wrote a book about 50 years of Bushes and the secret government said this whole fiasco has nothing to do with Pres. Moran's legacy–it's just setting things up for Jeb in 2012, bec, the Bushes don't like to be out of power for very long.

He said the first half sounds like Bush, because it's simple sentences and such. The second half was clearly written by someone else. One of the hosts guessed Karen Hughes and the guest responded, "That's a very good guess, and likely," or something.

The Busches–a family of evil douchebags.

SecretMuslin November 12, 2010 at 5:39 pm

It's funny – I didn't think it was possible for me to hate this man more than I hated him yesterday. But then there's this post and the innocent executed guy, and I realize there is still a little more bile left in me for W.

Rotundo_ November 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

He's the gift that keeps on giving-it to us right in the ass.

Rarian Rakista November 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

I don't normally envisage people I hate raping me anally, but to each their own.

deelzebub November 12, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Don't forget all the actual diagnosed mentally retarded people he proudly let fry.

neiltheblaze November 12, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Bush is a first-class bile generator.

Radiotherapy November 12, 2010 at 6:49 pm

We could save a little for the snowbilly grifter too. I mean just to "redistribute the contempt". At least wait for her crap book to come out. I'm just trying to be fair and unbalanced here. In fact, add Föx and fiends, to your well of bile.

DustBowlBlues November 13, 2010 at 5:14 pm

Cool dots over the o. Aren't those oomlots, or something? I've never seen it written.

DaSandman November 12, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Jeebus kills brown people ALL THE TIME and people worship that little tacked up troublemaker.

Get off Georgie Porgie's fucking case. He has a lot of catching up to do so people will worship him too. Not just teabags. Everyone. If you know whats good for you…

deelzebub November 12, 2010 at 5:51 pm

The Tacked Up Troublemakers would be an awesome band name.

HedonismBot November 12, 2010 at 6:18 pm

From what the librul media tells me in its effort to be fairanbalanced, the teabags don't worship Georgie. He was an apostate, cuz his brand of Big Gubmint conservatism went against Lord Reagan.
For some reason, they didn't realize this until after he left office, and they chose to take it out on the first black president they saw.

Chet Kincaid November 12, 2010 at 5:40 pm

"In fact, pages 48-164 probably seem so odd because they were lifted directly from the screenplay of W.: And then I turned to Rumsfeld and said, “Rummy, INT. H.W.’s KENNEBUNKPORT OFFICE – DAY. BUSH sits down.”"


harry_palmer November 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm

What's the big deal? He plagiarized passages of his book, but that pales in comparison with those whole episodes of his presidencey he copied off of tin-pot dictators, Nazi war criminals, and the Three Stooges.

charlesdegoal November 12, 2010 at 6:06 pm

Not to mention his facial expression lifted straight from Alfred E. Neuman.

neiltheblaze November 12, 2010 at 6:44 pm

And Cheetah.

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Just to clarify the Chimp not the cat?

neiltheblaze November 12, 2010 at 7:32 pm


x111e7thst November 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm

You kill some innocent men and that's a pretty good time. But then sometimes just for shits and smirks you gotta kill a woman too. And then you joke about it.

mrblifil November 12, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Well she was practically asking for it.

waitforsugar November 12, 2010 at 5:49 pm

It's even funnier when they are mentally disabled.

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Well the bitch had it coming.

imissopus November 12, 2010 at 7:55 pm

If she didn't want Bush to mock her death then she should not have begged so hilariously.

SudsMcKenzie November 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm

We don't really think he knows what "DNA" is, do we?

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:26 pm

He thinks its an acronym, Drink Now and Always.

jakegittes November 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Doesn't DNA come in a jar? A fetus jar?

HistoriCat November 12, 2010 at 9:25 pm

It's that stuff that comes out from sexytime – Clinton spilled it on that fat Jew-girl's dress.

Radiotherapy November 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm

This clown memoir just puts the "plague" in plagiarized.

lochnessmonster November 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

What was it …the thing he felt the worst about? Oh, Kanye West saying Bush didn't like black people….THAT was his lowest moment??? And this guy professes to be a Christian?

finallyhappy November 12, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Really, all the crap people who profess to be Christian do and say?!. I am not Christian but assuming Jesus is all they say he was- he is really, really pissed off at these people claiming to do or be anything like him.

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:27 pm

Well yeah, all that killing people to reclaim the Holy Land from the muslins and Jews for the glory of the Christian God just makes him a star in his religion.

SayItWithWookies November 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Not only is Dubya too ignorant and arrogant to acknowledge facts that conflict with his own private reality; now he's also too fucking lazy to use his own words to write about that reality. But still so full of himself that he claims he did. Not that I expected less of that idiot — it's just that seeing new details of the extent of his laziness and stupidity constantly amazes me. It's as though I were an archaeologist of stupidity and was standing right next to Howard Carter when he first opened King Tut's tomb: Things, wonderful things, indeed.

ShaveTheWhales November 12, 2010 at 9:56 pm

I'm going to plagiarize your final two sentences. Sooner or later.

CZL November 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Guys at my school used to plagiarize their textbooks all the time while letting innocent people get executed. It wasn't a big deal.

Sparky_McGruff November 12, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Hey, I have to ask. What school was that? Because I'm thinking I might not want to visit, mmmkay?

Texan_Bulldog November 12, 2010 at 5:44 pm

I'm guessing he lost more sleep over Kanye calling him a racist than helping execute an innocent man. I mean, hey, everyone on death row says they're innocent, right? Can't DNA test them all!

Progressiveinga November 12, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Hey watch it. Beef w/ a hip/hop artist hurts!

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:29 pm

One can hope, one can hope.

comrad_darkness November 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm

GW was many things, but he was never a racist . . . he'd buy his blow from people of all skin colors.

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:10 am

How could he be racist when he was Condi's husband?

Jukesgrrl November 14, 2010 at 4:10 pm

I'll bet he would have DNA-tested them all if Brother Neil had owned the company that did it.

gurukalehuru November 12, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Well, gee golly. That's the 1st I've heard of the Claude Jones case. Otherwise I might have included it here:

V572625694 November 12, 2010 at 5:50 pm

I'm a lot madder about the fact that Tweetie's interviewing Cong Marcy Kaptur instead of erstwhile "Baywatch" babe Mitzi Kaptur. Talk about bait and switch…

DemonicRage November 12, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Snark at him all you like. One of the pundits on Morning Joe or NPR said that the book is just positioning himself as mildly likeable, so that Jeb can make a run for the Presidency soon. Did you see that map of the US after the last election? Red states are in the numerical driver's seat now. Just two more years of watching the economy collapse deeper into the Grand Canyon and then we can all see re-runs of our favorite tv series: Barbara Bush and her AMAZING HUSBAND/SONS.

iburl November 12, 2010 at 5:57 pm


V572625694 November 12, 2010 at 5:58 pm

In which case Barry should just stone do what he can while he still can: kill DADT, veto the zillionaire tax cut, pull out of Afghanistan (and Korea, Germany, Japan, Okinawa, Iraq) kill a few hundred superfluous weapons systems acquisitions — whatever he can do on his own say-so, which is a lot, when you look at the list. One-term president? Maybe, but it's better than groveling before the Throne of Böhner. Or maybe people would respect and admire him more.

PublicLuxury November 12, 2010 at 7:02 pm

The bush used a lot of 'signing statements' and "executive" orders. Maybe President Obama needs to do the same. Ram as much through as possible using republitard tactics. A journalist in Florida did a little expose' on Jebby. On C-span a couple of years ago, he stated that he was writing this book on Jeb in plenty of time for the Amercan people to read and get to know what an asshole Jebby is. From this guy's perspective, Jebby is 1000% worse than georgie 'cause Jebby is smarter and more tenacious.

BeWoot November 12, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Except the economy is improving and I'm betting we'll see some serious buyer's remorse between now and 2012. The only thing standing between Democrats and a significant bounceback is an epic lack of spine in Washingtoon.

deelzebub November 12, 2010 at 6:50 pm

You realize these are Democrats you're talking about right.

BeWoot November 12, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Sure. If I'd been talking about the Republicans I'd have said an epic lack of … well, gee, where would I start? Epic lack of morals? Epic lack of sanity? Epic lack of corruption? It's hard to choose just one Republican failing — they take such a wide stance.

deelzebub November 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Hahaha wide stance. That's another one. Epic lack of prying themselves out of their fabulous closets.

Not_So_Much November 12, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Well, shit. Looks like I picked the wrong weekend to give up heroin…

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm

At that point I really will leave the country or commit suicide or something.

SexySmurf November 12, 2010 at 5:53 pm

At least he didn't break into Sarah Palin's e-mail account because that would be wrong.

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Yeah, its not like any one should go to jail or be executed for treason or war crimes.

Sparky_McGruff November 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Sarah's moved on to Twitter. People expect emails longer than 140 characters. (And she works ALL DAY putting those together)

WarAndGee November 12, 2010 at 5:56 pm

I can't really think about this new revelation. I'm still hung up on the FETUS JAR. Was it a pickle jar or a grape jelly jar?

How would one decide?

lumpenprole November 12, 2010 at 6:11 pm

And if you're going to be carrying it around and showing it to people, is a glass jar really your best choice? Shouldn't people be using more durable and forgiving containers, like a sports bottle? Does it ride around in the car cupholder or does it get a tote bag of its own?

Not_So_Much November 12, 2010 at 7:06 pm

7/11's 128 ounce fatfuck corn syrup deluxe waddle edition with extra big straw comes to mind.

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:32 pm

A plastic mayonise jar would be good, and mayo on a fetus gives it just the right touch to serve for dinner.

Chet Kincaid November 12, 2010 at 7:25 pm

People with fetuses in glass jars shouldn't throw stones at abortion clinics.

If Babs is really pro-choice, how do we know that wasn't a "miscarriage" rather than a miscarriage?

transfatz November 13, 2010 at 1:44 am

It was an International Criminal Quart jar.

HempDogbane November 13, 2010 at 11:23 am

the + for above post is a typo, should be to the 10th power.

HedonismBot November 12, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Hey G. Dub: Where were you in the month or so leading up to the last election? Clearin' brush? Our side could've used you to remind the electorate of your existence. I guess drinkin' tea causes forgetfulness, since about 60 percent of the voters plum-darn-tootin' forgot about the eight long miserable years of torture and war and scandal and dumb Skull & Bones frat pranks that constituted your pretzeldency and your party's monopoly on power in post-9-leven 'Murka. NOW you decide to stop watching Blues Clues long enough to re-surface? Too late, jackass. Go back into your box.
And stay the hell out of Europe, less'n you wanna spend your post-pretzeldency in the l'Hague.

x111e7thst November 12, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Can I summarize that as EAT SHIT AND DIE?

HedonismBot November 12, 2010 at 6:13 pm

"the Hague?" "l'Hague?"
No… "the l'Hague" sounds right.

comrad_darkness November 12, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Den Haag, actually. The Hedge, literally.

Haag is pronounced as if it were written in Klingon.

harry_palmer November 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm

I saw a bumper sticker on a pick up truck the other day with his picture, saying "Miss him yet?" I was thinking, if I got a clear shot at him, I damn sure wouldn't miss.

(Note to the NSA: This is a joke. Unlike the sociopathic George W Bush, I hold human life in higher regard than just snuffing it out because I happen to find it odious, or annoying, or inferior (or whatever offhand reasons he might give you). This applies even to a miserable piece of fuck like G W Bush,

DahBoner November 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm


Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm

I miss W about as much as the excuriciating pain after the Dr. sewed my arm back together last summer.

Stacee November 13, 2010 at 8:21 am

Yeah, but at least with your arm you knew eventually it would heal and the pain would go the hell away.

With GW Bush, not so much.

LetUsBray November 12, 2010 at 7:43 pm

I'm just sorry the shoe guy missed him.

V572625694 November 12, 2010 at 6:30 pm

That was all seen to by his handlers. The book was done months ago, but the Repubes didn't want these ugly reminders. See? Democracy is the best system!

Dashboard_Jesus November 12, 2010 at 11:04 pm

not sure the Shrub is doin' any 'brush clearin' these days, I thought he sold his 'prop' ranch as soon as he didn't need it any more, to look more manly and Reaganesque and all (the phony little shit bought his 'ranch' just before he ran for Presidentin in1999, guess Kennebunkport just had 'east coast elitest' written all over it, asshole!)

indecencycmdr November 12, 2010 at 6:10 pm

This plagiarism thing is the worst thing George W Bush has ever done in his life…

Except for everything else he has done in his life.

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:13 am

Don't you suppose he plagiarized his way through Harvard and Yale?

charlesdegoal November 12, 2010 at 6:14 pm

The rich are definitely different.

V572625694 November 12, 2010 at 6:23 pm

In this respect, among others: whatever is inconvenient, difficult, or un-fun, they sub out. Like raising their children (to nannies or boarding schools), cleaning their houses (to Mexicans), tending their gardens (see "cleaning"), fighting their wars (to Poors), governing the country (to Cheney) waterboarding their enemies (to Cheney) and…writing their books? Doesn't make sense.

Or maybe it does. Writing books is no fun. Having written books, and receiving attention therefor and making money therefrom, is a lot of fun (at least based on my experience of the first). So Bush's behavior in this instance is perfectly in keeping with our expectations of trust-fund beneficiary behavior, which is to say: quintessentially dickish.

4tehlulz_lite November 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm

It's true. We know this because no Iraqis were electrocuted by Halliburton's showers.

Push_Harder November 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm

The Boosh executed the economy.

Stacee November 13, 2010 at 8:23 am

Well I'm told tax cuts! tax cuts! will bring it all back.

MiniMencken November 12, 2010 at 6:36 pm

I doubt Claude Jones was the only one George gave an expedited pass to the death house. He also was very amused that Karla Fay Tucker, one of the few women on Texas' death row, was asking for clemency, if y'all recall. Did a funny impersonation, actually. A nice review of that event, originally reported by noxious, smirking bow tie wearer Tucker Carlson, can be read at:

DahBoner November 12, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Where in The Bible does it say to not kill innocent people??

Where? It doesn't say that!

It just says "Thou shall not kill.". See? Doesn't say anything about killin' innocents.


edgydrifter November 12, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Laura's big into snuff pr0n, and governating's HARD WORK, people. If one or two or a couple hundred thousand shiftless have-nots get retired early from life so George can get a little satisfaction, that's just the way the pretzel crumbles.

bitchincamaro2 November 12, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Derision Points. Fuck U, W.

WordSaladNation November 12, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Listen, SHEEPLE, you are all being terribly fucking elitist about all of this:

1) Claude Jones is a "brown." Obviously, hello? Oops, I just Googled him. Turns out he's a "white." My (and George W. Bush's) bad!

2) Also, what is "plagiarism" — a word that normal, patriotic Americans can't even spell — but the demonstration of appreciation of someone else's words? Every time I say the Pledge of Allegiance, is that "plagiarism"? No? Then shut the fuck up.

HedonismBot November 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm

If you combine the two, you get "Pladgallegism." See, Dubs was honoring the troops with his patrioticalness!

LionelHutzEsq November 12, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Everyone should of known something was up from the beginning:

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told you anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all — I'm not saying that — but they're also touchy as hell. Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole goddam autobiography or anything. I'll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me during my presidency, just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out here and take it easy. I mean, that's all I told JEB about, and he's my brother and all.

PublicLuxury November 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Yet still, the US is infested with teatards. George needs to run for a turd term… he can excute the baggers and teh gay and libruls and the word nucuelear and some more gay and lots and lots and lots of teh brown anything. . .

Extemporanus November 12, 2010 at 6:56 pm

This should surprise absolutely fucking no one.

He's a human suit-wearing simpering simpleton whose entire existence since evading Bar's death jar—from his hand-me-down name to his Potemkin Texas ranch to his White House sitcom from hell—has been nothing more than a cheap, cynical, poorly executed series of knock-offs.

George W. Bush is the political equivalent of an anatomically incorrect, lead-based butt plug retrieved by child laborers from the reject bin of the Republican Fetish Factory, and Real 'Murican Walmartian wingnuts couldn't give two goddamn shits about that fact because SHUTUPHEKEPTUSSAFEFERCHRISSAKESSHUTUP!

Radiotherapy November 12, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Ya know Ex, the pickled shrub might have been asleep at the switch, reading a fucking children's book no less, when he was keeping us safe in '01. But more importantly, he may have been the worst actor-presidente ever . Even more than Cap'n Ronnie. And if the Real 'Murican Walmartian wingnuts buy that photo, they'll have no problem buying an übergrifter with moose shit for brains.

Katydid November 12, 2010 at 9:06 pm

2,000 corpses in New Orleans say otherwise. That piece of crap did *not* keep us safe.

PuckStopsHere November 12, 2010 at 9:29 pm

He's a human suit-wearing simpering simpleton…
The single best descriptive paragraph ever written about this bastard–which really is saying something given the sheer number of paragraphs which have been written about him–and for that I saltute you, sir or madam commentator.

deelzebub November 13, 2010 at 12:29 am

I wish Comedy Central had renewed That's My Bush.

PeaceWithHonor November 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

So, in summary:
Executed an innocent man; Stole an election; Ignored warnings of potential terrorist attack; Leveraged aforementioned attack into two wars and increased political power; won reelection by encouraging proxies to lie about opponent; allowed a major city to be destroyed; attempted to gut Social Security; destroyed the economy; plagiarized his memoir

I'm sure I'm missing something

comrad_darkness November 12, 2010 at 8:25 pm

He even lied about loving to clear brush. He couldn't have sold that stage prop ranch any faster after leaving office.

CookieGuggleman November 12, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Don't forget the torture!

Katydid November 12, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Gave away billions to Haliburton and his Vice President, Dick. Allowed Dick to ruin energy policy. Lost billions of dollar bills, literally let them get lost, in Iraq. Tried to destroy the environment, gave away millions of acres of public lands to energy and mining companies Deregulated anything he could get his hands on, particularly in the last few months of his presidency.

I still feel sure we're missing something.

HistoriCat November 12, 2010 at 9:37 pm

A reason to live?

ShaveTheWhales November 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Many, many cubic yards of hundred-dollar bills. Pfft.

Just think about that for a minute.

Jukesgrrl November 14, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Commuted Scooter Libby's prison sentence, allowed his friend Alberto Gonzales to seriously damage the Justice Department, made two of the worst Supreme Court appointments in recent history, tried to appoint an unqualified personal friend to the Supreme Court.

PuckStopsHere November 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

You may be missing something, time will tell, but it seems to me that you are certainly off to a good start.

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:17 am

He failed to provoke the Rapture, even when he made Babylon the Great fall. Nor did he re-discover and repair the gateway holding out Gog and Magog.

Chet Kincaid November 13, 2010 at 9:37 pm

And when the eighth month of the eighth year of the Dumb Beast didst draw nigh, I saw a woman arrayed in the finest couture, riding upon a silver-haired, Intemperate Beast.

And the wise men in the palaces of scarlet didst divine starbursts from the wine of her fornication.


heathenette November 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm

Make that stole 2 elections and fucked the country/world in many other ways to numerous to mention and I think it's getting closer. Why is he still free?

CookieGuggleman November 12, 2010 at 7:16 pm

"Fuck him! FUCK HIM!" — Larry David

LionelHutzEsq November 13, 2010 at 1:04 am

Dude, haven't you learned anything? You don't have to give a citation.

MistaEko November 12, 2010 at 7:18 pm

You know what kind of people can't remember what they did over the last decade?

Reformed drug abuser my ass.

Bluestatelibel November 12, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Ritings hard.

Redhead November 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

But who did he plagiarize the fetus-in-a-jar part from?

bearperney November 13, 2010 at 11:58 am

The fetus in a jar part may be the only original writing in the book. The grossest part certainly. Even white trash wouldn't do that, believe me, I know my people!

An_Outhouse November 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Rick Santorum

Come here a minute November 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Oh, come on! There are only so many ways to describe how George W. Bush was the shittiest president ever.

fuflans November 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm

I fell asleep while watching 'w'.

to be fair, I was stuck in pittsburg.

JackObin November 12, 2010 at 7:44 pm

So many retards, so little time. I wonder if Yale will ever explain how this drooling vegetable ever earned a degree.

transfatz November 13, 2010 at 1:41 am

He hired a ghost student.

bearperney November 13, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Pretty clear that W never earned a degree, just a case of legacy-money in action.

An_Outhouse November 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm


MISTAHCOUGHDROP November 15, 2010 at 1:01 pm

How can you be sure he did earn a degree. I didn't think they gave them for cheer leading, but then I went to Brown where we do. Or did.

neiltheblaze November 12, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Being American means you never have to say you're sorry for being a lawless, reckless, constitution shredding war criminal – or for ordering the execution of innocent people. What a great country!

It helps if you're rich also.

comrad_darkness November 12, 2010 at 8:23 pm

I would much prefer my total failure leaders to be originals.

NorthStarSpanx November 13, 2010 at 2:39 pm


comrad_darkness November 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

Is our ghost writers learning?

Katydid November 12, 2010 at 9:11 pm

No, they're too busy trying to put food on their families.

PuckStopsHere November 12, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Or practicing their love with women all over the country.

sarjo November 12, 2010 at 9:06 pm

What is up with all this effete Gen-X morality bullshit? Yeah, I killed a man to watch him die…SO????

bitchincamaro2 November 13, 2010 at 10:57 am

Careful; Roseanne Cash may have to cut a bitch.

Steverino247 November 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Gee, I'm glad "somebody" took impeachment off the table. As far as I'm concerned that makes "somebody" an accessory.

Since we hanged Japanese after World War II for using the same torture technique Dubya authorized when President, when do we bring him to trial? Never?

You know, I hate it when Hermann Goering even appears to be right (i.e., "This is a political trial by the victors…"). The only way to return Hermann to the ranks of liars is to prosecute our own war criminals. Not just the PFC's and Sergeants, but Presidents, too.

Radiotherapy November 12, 2010 at 9:22 pm

It also should be no surprise to anyone here that the worst President should yield the worst memoirs. Let me rephrase that. It also should be no surprise to anyone here that the biggest asshole should yield the biggest piece of shit.

Miss me yet?

Failed_2_Menace November 12, 2010 at 9:40 pm

The purchase of this book should be a litmus test for involuntary sterilization. We could wipe out an entire generation of Battered Spouse Syndrome like it's the Retard Polio.

deelzebub November 13, 2010 at 12:23 am

(kneels on floor and repeated bows in front of you mumbling your praises)

Rotundo_ November 13, 2010 at 11:25 am

Hi! Your purchase of Decision Points comes with a bonus gift offer that many people pay thousands of dollars for! Just follow me back to the waiting room, it takes a couple of minutes for processing…

Beowoof November 12, 2010 at 9:49 pm

I got a plane yesterday and the republican sitting in front of me was reading this piece of shit book. For two hours from Rochester to Atlanta I kept wanting to scream at him that George Bush's biggest decision in the White House was whether he wanted mustard or mayo on his baloney sandwich for lunch. And I wanted to scream if you are reading his book you must be a big useless fucktard asswipe just like Bush. I didn't and today cope with a feeling I could have done something for America.

transfatz November 13, 2010 at 4:40 am

That gives me an idea. Airport bookstores could offer a TSA approved garrote for passengers sitting behind the purchaser of the Bush book.

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:19 am

Coulda borrowed the book then wiped your butt on it in the toilet, I supose. Or would that be terrorism?

Rotundo_ November 13, 2010 at 11:28 am

If he was chuckling or weeping, he probably was normal, if he was taking it seriously you shoulda ordered up a coffee and steam-neutered him.

Negropolis November 13, 2010 at 10:39 pm

I'm tired of these motherfucking books, on this motherfucking plane!

Pragmatist2 November 12, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Executing innocent guys is soooo 1980.

LibrulEleet November 12, 2010 at 11:01 pm

What would Jesus plagiarize?

transfatz November 13, 2010 at 1:55 am

Being proud of murder, war and torture in a plagiarized autobiography is what makes America great.

AtlanticCapers November 13, 2010 at 7:49 am

I think you're making a mistake in assuming that Bob Woodward did not knowingly write Bush's biography.

Rotundo_ November 13, 2010 at 11:30 am

Wouldn't that be a fit finale to his career as an author!

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

George the Father, George the Son, Jeb the Holy Ghost!

zhubajie November 13, 2010 at 8:20 am

So when you buy it, do you get free crayons? Or do you have to buy your own?

rocktonsam November 13, 2010 at 11:17 am

And Amerikkka's J.K. Rowling, Scarah Palin, next book comes out in a couple of weeks also.

Healthy trees died for these bull shit artists.

HempDogbane November 13, 2010 at 11:31 am

In fairness to W, there is no photographic evidence of him drooling.

futureful November 13, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I can only wonder what Palin (the future Tea Party Debutante President) will have to say…already plenty of material for her to plagarize!

Geminisunmars November 13, 2010 at 1:59 pm

An ex-preznit went writing out one dark and windy day
Upon a phrase he wrested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty nerd with red lead pencil wrote
A-criticizing the ragged book all copied – note for note

Their words were still on file and their blogs made it all seem real
Their fonts were black and shiny and their parsing he could steal
A bolt of thought went through him as he hunkered at his desk
For he saw the Writers come; Woodward and all the rest

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi yaaaaay
Ghost Writers in the sky

His text weren’t taut, his ideas unclear, he googled the internet
He's writing hard to catch that word, but he ain't caught it yet
'Cause he’s got to write forever on that ranch down in the south
While critics snort derision
Say this ain’t exactly truth

As the writers wrote around him he heard one say “Now Bush”
If you want to save your soul from Hell a-writing out your tush
Then cowboy use our words today without us you will die
Trying to write your very own book, you know that cannot fly

Yippie yi Ohhhhh
Yippie yi Yaaaaay

Ghost Writers in the sky
Ghost Writers in the sky
Ghost Writers in the sky

NorthStarSpanx November 13, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Texecutioner-happy Governor George Bush ordered the killing of the first woman in Texas since the 1860's. After ignoring calls from religious leaders such as Pat Robertson, Bush went ahead with the execution on schedule.

In the summer of '99 after announcing his bid for the presidency, Bush openly
mocks Karla's pleas for clemency in an interview he does with Talk magazine.
" `Please,' Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, `don't kill me,' "
When one of my girlfriend's said last night that she thought she was lightening up on ol Georgie since his book came out, it was a supreme effort not to smack my good friend upside the head.

DustBowlBlues November 13, 2010 at 5:22 pm

The man has a sociopath's lack of empathy or conscience. Or maybe it's just being a little rich boy bottle-fed my the family to this day.

And does fucking Laura even HAVE an alternate expression? She could be subbed by a robot and who the fuck would know?

NorthStarSpanx November 14, 2010 at 9:54 am

The sociopath qualities are strong in Sarah Palin, both W and Sarah are likable if you buy their manufactured Frontier Woman / Texas Cowboy narrative – but look beneath the surface and they are Beetlejuice with the worms straining to suck your face off.

As for Laura, the only one who has admitted to playing a role in a death, that is one helluva poker face she's adopted to survive the living hell with the Bush's.

guangho November 13, 2010 at 4:52 pm

"Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. "- C.S. Lewis

A realization W. has never actually came to, at 30 or since.

lulzmonger November 14, 2010 at 12:01 am

Aw heck, I don't think he had any choice BUT to use outside sources: Shrub (along with Cheney, Rice, Rummy et al) was wacked on Ambien 24/7 for pretty much his whole run as Decider, so I'm guessing he actually recalls about 30 minutes' worth, tops.

Don't forget him on TeeVee in 2000, gleefully giggling over Karla Fae Tucker's impending execution as he imitated her plea not to be killed … because of Teh Culture O' Life that he grew up with.

Masturbater November 14, 2010 at 12:12 am

"You elitists get yer panties in a twist about all the wrong things. The really sad thing that just happened is that Cliff and Josh and Vladdy lost to them super gay Frisco Giants in five games. And the little faggots did it right in front of me and my family, like they just didn't care! That's the kind of stuff that is really important in this super great country of ours. But you intellectuals keep jabbering about shit that just don't matter."

[sigh] I miss the little psychopath. Can't wait until he starts doing reality teevee. That'll be awesome!

Panty_Buns November 14, 2010 at 11:29 am

I believe there are still outstanding arrest warrants for George bush in Brattleboro Vermont where . The Vermont towns then put Bush and Cheney on the arrest list. Meanwhile, the ACLU has asked Attorney General Holder to investigate the Bush violations of torture statutes as if there was some question about it. Hopefully he'll stop in Vermont while peddling his book, which should be titled "more lies", get arrested and extradited to another country for a war crimes trial.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP November 15, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Notice how this Plague Your Ism came out just as W finished the rounds of talk shows promoting someone else's autobiography about his "decisions" ?

That's a wrap!

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