- Barack Obama met with other Muslim world leaders in South Korea for the infamous G-20 economic summit, which is sort of like Bohemian Grove except Alex Jones is actually invited. (Who else is going to negotiate favorable Prison Planet DVD exchange rates?) Usually these economic summits are “trade this” and “currency that” and “blah blah blah,” but Obama spiced up the proceedings and humiliated the Free World when he abruptly got down on his hands and knees and begged the South Korean delegates to buy more delicious American beef. But why should we share our cow anuses with these foreigners? (Did American farmers harvest enough beef this meat season, or was there an early frost?) Oh, there’s plenty of meat, and now we will have to hoard it all in our National Meat Vault, because America and South Korea “failed to reach an agreement on a new trade pact.” Darn it! In a few years we will have to drain the Atlantic Ocean and then fill it with all the surplus cow innards we have. This must be the One World Nation Barack Obama dreams about every night. [CNN/BBC]
- George Bush had a nice chitchat with his former White House staff, but he didn’t talk about jars full of fetuses or serious stuff like that. Nein! Bush was in a “freewheeling and reflective mood,” and was constantly cracking jokes at the podium: “Knock knock?” “Who’s there?” “9/11″ “9/11 who?” “C’mon, y’all said you’d never forget!” [Fox News]
- Prosecutors in the awful Chandra Levy trial are having difficulty coming up with “evidence” and “witnesses.” Whoops! [McClatchy]
{ 102 comments }
I see Wonkette's oh so subtle encouragement of bovine-human relations.
You preverts!
~
Put a pearl necklace on all animals? If I'm arrested at the Zoo I'm going to blame Wonkette.
Fine, Korea. You don't buy the beef, we don't sell you our dogmeat.
And poor Missouri, where 48% of voters think puppy mills are just fine and cockfighting was outlawed last week or so, takes it in the ass again. Thanks, Obamar!
Udders…. my God those are amazing udders.
Yes…they are udderly amazing.
Ahh- I'm pretty sure they were airbrushed. Udders like that don't really exist in nature.
Looks like someone had some work done on her.
Uhh, pictures cropped too much on the left and right sides.
Update: RIIILEEEEYY!
That's an anus burger John Edwards could get behind.
UPDATE: Riley changed the picture, I think on account of the nipples (teats?).
I find this picture much dirtier, on account of the exaggerated cleavage and the pearl necklace.
If I could, I would give you 1 million thumbs up for the Student Bodies reference.
One is curious to know the Google Image search string that produced that picture. One is even more curious to know the mind that devised it.
It's a vintage Wonkette running gag. I can only assume Rule 34 is involved.
Had to look up Rule 34. I have learned so much at the Wonkette!
We need to somehow Rule 34 Wonkette, any ideas?
I'm OK with that as long as it doesn't involve any snowbilly grifters.
We can start with the Xtine OD cleaning the oil off of half-pelican half-Bobby Jindal with a giant handful of her absorbent pubes, and the rest will just sort of write itself like a Penthouse forums letter.
It was part of the stash of a sitting federal judge. It's legal!
I love the FoxNews funnies , especially the comments:
"…Could it all be part of a Soros plan????"
Isn't everything?
SSSSH! You'll spoil it!
I can haz anusburger?
You can have our cow anuses when you pry them from our cold dead awwww who gives a fuck I don't even like cow anus
If you like all-beef hot dogs, my friend, then you do like cow anus (along with bull ball-sack, cow groin, neck, ankles, under-arm, etc.)
When they say "all-beef," they mean all of the beef, is what you're saying?
No. They mean "an extra inch from the bunghole".
Right. Just as the Indigenous Americans used all of the buffalo, the hot dog is our way of using all of the cow.
Who knew there were so many hippies helping the environment in New York?
That's what slays me about (delicious) kosher hot dog. ALL BEEF the package proudly proclaims. Cow anus and bull's balls are spiritually better than pork?
Damn it you guys, cut it out! I just finished breakfast and all your chatter is making hungry again.
Sorry vegetarian hippy here
Vegetarianism is no safe harbor. I know for a fact that vegetarian hot dogs are made with soy cow anus, soy bull ballsack, soy cow ankles and soy cow groin.
You forgot soy una vaca lechera
Hat's off and thumbs up sir.
Don't forget cochineal.
Are you offering to be made into mechanically separated human hot dogs?
You know who else was a vegetarian…..
To paraphrase, I know porn when I see it but WTH is that picture of?!?
Which one is Chandra Levy? Neither of them looks Jewish, so this may be the kind of evidence that gets thrown out.
South Korea is holding out for a better deal on fetus burgers.
That picture is giving me mad cow disease.
So that's what you young people are calling erections these days.
I'm picturing myself with a milk mustache.
I see your double-entendre and…and…
I got nothing.
Mooo moo moooo!
Is it a disease to be mad about those cows?
I understand the reason they came up with the name "PMS" is because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Bulgogi!
Bo Shin Tang!
So if there's an extra anusload of beef, does that mean it will be the one food who's price drops?
needs more pork injection
Free Gary Condit!!1!
Don't encourage the furries, Riley!
What happened to the picture? How dare you change it! Makes all of our comments pointless.
"Makes all of our comments pointless. "
That's a pretty low bar.
I'm just thinking of future historians who, absent the painted nekkid ladies, will fail to understand the meaning of our admittedly-pointless-anyway comments.
When the early 21st century is regarded as reverently as the Classical era is to us, a future historian will propose a new theory about this thread suggesting that the commenst make sense if we assume that the picture, originally, was of a couple of naked ladies painted up to look like cows. And all the other high-brow, stuffy, tweed jacket wearing historians will scoff and hiss and call him a revisionist, post-post-modernist who is projecting his ideology into something that is completely unrelated to his anachronistic reading.
I hope any paper written about Wonkette gives people tenure, in the future.
What will future readers of the Library of Congress archives think, though?
What comments? I didn't think comments were allowed on Wonkette.
"Pointless" might not be the best term to use here. The new picture makes all our comments disturbing and bizarre. About what we've come to expect.
Yes, it makes my previous comment about porn seem unseemly & disturbing. I figure they changed the pic because that's all you pervs were focusing on!
Did someone notice that one of the girls was literally showing us her teat?
There must have been a TSA security checkpoint nearby.
Or a bus that said it was going to BURNING MAN!
Really? We have enough to spare? When I moved from NY to the desert southwest ten years ago, I soon realized that it was your patriotic duty to eat your own weight in beef each week.
I'm trying to decide which picture is sexier.
Cartoon Cow or Painted People cows?
Yes.
Obama is trying to give away all our beef so Michelle can complete her secret plot to turn us all into vegans.
If we all stop eating meat, our blood will turn green. Good god man, she is trying to turn us all into Vulcans!
Hey! Obama! Put That Coffee Down! Coffee is for closers. Koreans eat beef and yet you failed to sell them any beef. Need I remind you that third prize is…you're fired!
The leads! The leads! What we need are the leads!
Give him second prize – he'll need that set of steak knives.
….and driving a Hyundai instead of a Jag…
It's all a secret plot by Barry. He's going to feed them all zombie mad cow beef so they lose their minds and can't take over the US.
Oh, they'll buy our beef. Or we'll use drones to rain cow parts upon them. Enjoy your Yukhoe chez USA, dudes! America: making the world safe for Fat Democracy.
Or we could offer our beef to the North Koreans in a direct barter trade. Which would allow us to restock our strategic national reserves of straw, weeds, pebbles and starving children.
Look, it's all the fault of poor marketing. American Industrial Food Science and Technology can make anything look like anything else (dog food that looks like bacon, right?). Korea is suffering from a nappa cabbage / kim chee shortage. We have a surplus of icky beef parts. All we have to do is make our icky beef into kim chee-like substance and the Koreans will demand that we fill all of those freighters full of Hyundais destined for the U.S. with icky beef parts/kim chee-like substance.
After all, as mentioned above, it works for hot dogs!
That was dog food? Gah!
Isn't that supposed to be a caricature of Barbara Bush? The pouch underneath her contains the much-celebrated fetus.
Now that's what I call Fourth Meal.
(Topical, since South Korea just got Asia's first Taco Bell.)
I'd call it a Happy Ending Meal.
To bring our pals in Seoul around, Obama should threaten to appoint Sharron Angle as ambassador to South Korea/Guatemala. They all look alike to her. And she can get to practice her Mexican.
You obviously have never been to Wisconsin.
Or Dallas.
Or seen a Scottish Highland
Our Wonkette has been cowed? Say it anus so.
Juices stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is broiling, and I.. I live by the river!
That's not the same pic that was on here an hour ago!
the painted chick cows only go with stories about judges
riley is new and in time he will understand
Down with the system!
*smashes Starbucks window*
Oh, sorry, I thought this was 1999.
There's a very simple solution to this problem. All we need to do is change the labels on the export containers from "Beef (May Contain Anus)" to "Uncircumcised Tiger Penis" or "Pink River Dolphin Flipper (May Contain Flipper)" or "White Rhino Pancreatic Tissue."
You could sell them diseased cat livers if they thought it would give them a boner.
You guys are so weird, getting off on that cow cartoon picture–what is wrong with you?!?
That image! I just can't look away. I am repulsed; yet strangely, aroused.
I always wondered what Mrs. Chuck "Elected Ruminant" Grassley looked like. Thanks Riley!
You're talking about Grandma Corn-teats, right?
President Barack Obama…the Clara Peller of international trade.
Bush to former staffers: See, I told you that colored fellow at the Justice Department would never indict any of us.
Hmmm. Somehow I can't see William F. Buckley writing this. I mean he wrote lots of crap but back then the conservatives thought it was important to at least appear to makes sense. Even if they were working from totally baseless premises.
I'm not complaining…I mean, I can find porn on the web with the best of them, but seriously, why was the picture changed?
She's cheery, has a great rack and that pearl necklace is so suggestive. She's almost perfect, but still the South Koreans were disappointed. Why no lipstick?
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