- Your Wonkette recently suggested that our new Orange Overlord should privatize the Smithsonian, because that’s what Alexander Hamilton kept blogging about, in the Federalist Papers. Well, good things come to those who wait (for the co-chairs of the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform to release their draft proposal)! Yes, this wise bipartisan commission of maggot-brained failures wants the government to “reduce funding to the Smithsonian and the National Park Service and allow the programs to offset the reduction through fees.” That’s not quite privatization, but the proposal also recommends severe cuts to Social Security, so it’s safe to say that reducing the deficit has already become a very successful bipartisan paint-huffing effort. Nancy Pelosi took a quick timeout from watching House Democrats fight over who gets to be S&M Whip to state that this draft proposal is “simply unacceptable.” But everyone knows that Nancy Pelosi is a hippie. Feeding the woodland creatures at the National Zoo every other week would allow us to build more laser-guided Zeppelins, since the 2011 defense budget is only one trillion dollars. And don’t even think about cutting military spending so that children can go to museums or maybe even have basic health care. You want to cut Our Defense? The war merchants who run this sad country do not care for this idea. [Slate/Ezra Klein/The Hill]
- John McCain and Joe Lieberman love fighting the Taliban. That is why they have asked Obama if they can stay in Afghanistan forever and ever. Have fun guys, and please don’t come back! [McClatchy]
- Joe Miller lost his dumb lawsuit, which claimed that people who voted for Lisa Murkowski but misspelled her name actually hate Lisa Murkowski and want Joe Miller to be president. How will Joe Miller lie his way into the Senate now? Stay tuned! [AP]
- Happy Veterans Day. [Veterans Today]
{ 194 comments }
I would be thrilled if John McCain and Joe Lieberman went to Afghanistan forever.
Even moreso if they take along Boner and the Turtle. To carry their luggage.
I'm willing to pay their airfare, as long as it is one-way each.
Look, forever is a long time, so I'll be happy if they just stay long enough to get beheaded.
Since it's armistice day, this bears repeating (apropos of a trillion-dollar "missile krusher dongle" budget):
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article1...
Also Barbara Tuchman August 1914 and The March of Folly.
The Republican party would be smart to do away with all forms of publicly financed education, since it seems to be only uneducated dumbasses who vote for them anyway.
Today, we are all proud home scholers.
Hell, that's actually a stated goal of some of the even more moronic than usual libertarians. Today, we are all proud home scholers.
I think that's their plan. They probably have it written out in crayon, stuffed down Rove's diaper for safekeeping.
One trillion dollars?
What the flipping fuck does our military need one trillion dollars for? Our soldiers get killed whether we give them caviar rations or not, ya know. Jesus.
1 % for the troops and 99% for Boeing, Lockheed, Halliburton,etc. Eisenhower was absolutely right about the "military industrial completx"
What really gets me is that we have to have "drives" to collect things to send to the troops, things such as "soap," "snax," or "kevlar vests." Why can't they find room in that $1 trillion for such basic necessities?
I feel this way about most drives — food, AIDS/cancer research, etc. Why can't we just supply these important things and do fund-raising for bombs?
The Vietnam era bumpersticker mainstay "It'll be a great day when education gets all the money it wants and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy bombers." has apparently not taken hold for most people.
Yours is better–much more succinct (and certainly easier to read on a sticker ha ha).
It may be time for all of us to quote you, loudly and often.
Seeing as I'm paying an entry fee of $15/car to get in the National Parks already, it's time we apply the same principle of "user fees" to our military. Charge those Afghani dudes $15 before you bomb their wedding.
Every little bit helps.
Come to Rome, NY, and the site of the former Griffiss AFB. The base is gone but there are still a number of military contractors there. Based on the people who work there, the stories I've heard…I'd imagine that the military could do everything it needs to and fund every research project it wanted for half that. They kvetch every time some poor black lady gets caught defrauding food stamps, but god damn come up with some half-cocked idea that no one believes will ever work and they'll be like, "would you like your million dollars in a briefcase or in a giant sack with a dollar sign on it?"
Actually, don't go to Rome. I've never actually been in the city itself and I hear it's got a creepy '50s vibe going on. That and apparently all the old Air Force barracks are all still there, just abandoned.
It costs a lot of money to half-assedly occupy countries and then leave sneak away in defeat.
Don't forget the Reptiloids, they deserve blame too.
Like Colleen says.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IniZmk0cZXU
~
That's may favorite. For the Jugs.
Maybe if we planned a military invasion of the Smithsonian and National Parks we could increase their budgets in a way. The bombs, munitions and corporate mercenaries would cost another $500 billion or so and would be used ON them if not FOR them. I'll bet Boner would get his GOP pals in a row to vote in favor of something like that, for our freedom.
Thats how that communist Eisehower got them to fund the interstates, for our freedumb. So we could repel the Soviet invasion of North Dakota.
Republicans will tell you that it's worked quite well so far, too. North Dakota is pretty much Soviet-free. Although they do kind of wear the same fur hats there so I can't be sure.
I was surprised, on my first trip to DC recently, how anyone can walk into the Air & Space museum for free. Why? I'd happily pay $5 to see the Wright brothers' airplane (because, you know, it's the ACTUAL PLANE flown by the mo' fo' Wright bros!) $10, even.
I disagree with Pelosi, I think she's being too liberal on this issue. Which is a bit of a relief, frankly. It has been very disorienting to me, having grown up in Canada politically right-of-center, to have been consistently on the left of politics in the USA.
You're gonna spoil it for us poors that don't have the bus fare to get us to DeeCee.
Taking a bus instead of your SUV? Socialist!
How about this as a compromise: we charge $5 to get into the Smithsonian and cut the defense budget in half. How's that?
Done!
The Smithsonian is by far the best national propoganda that money can buy. It really shows off the truly amazing accomplishments of America. And if one's not impressed with the American stuff, then all you have to is cross the Mall and check out all of the priceless art that we accumulated in other countries. You know… Degas, Monets, Hope Diamonds, and shit like that.
Er, yes. "Too liberal" to oppose the commission's recommendation to keep pissed-off old people in their jobs until they're 69 as the nation's over-educated + underemployed young people mope around, blowing each other out of boredom.
"young people…blowing each other out of boredom"
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Or an unusual thing, for that matter.
Oh, I'm down with boredom blowing. I just prefer "tongue-punching out of irrational exuberance."
I'm not saying I agree with all the commission's suggestions, but there are some good things there. The sad fact is the USA is an economic basket case stumbling towards banana republic status. We won't be able to fund anything if changes are not made. I'll happily accept higher taxes but reform in other areas will also be needed.
Take the tax deduction for mortgage interest, for example. Great idea in theory, which is to make it easier for people to buy a home. In practice, however, it rewards banks for selling long-term mortgages. The longer the term, the greater portion of a mortgage that is interest, which means more earnings for the institution holding the mortgage. It works out to being a subsidy to the mortgage holder, which is not what is intended. Wouldn't it be better eliminate the tax break and fund other services for the home buyer, such as good schools, public libraries, and clean water supplies, than to subsidize banks?
Can anyone say that Medicare doesn't need some reform? Or Medicaid, or Social Security? On the one hand, does it make sense to limit the Social Security contribution to the first $106,800 of income? On the other hand, does it make sense to pay Social Security to people who have other sources of income which are more than adequate to their needs? There is room for negotiation here.
Hey this is Wonkett. Buttsechs or GTFO. Nobody gives a shit about your ramblings of how much the Smithsonian should cost or how the economy should be improved, unless you print it out in invisible ink, roll it up into a tight coil and stick it in Kristi Noem's twat, where her cooze juice will activate the ink and we can all have the pleasure of reading it whenever she spreads herself wide, which is roughly every 20-minute interval.
Whoa, easy on our passionate, Canadian friend. Ask yourself, "What would Glenn Beck Do?" And then do the opposite.
Also, ha on the cooze juice-activated invisible ink.
Sorry – waaay disagree. I went this summer to the Air and Space and had to wait in line for all the milions of children trying to get in, God bless their little ankle biter hearts. Been there myself something like 50 times – sometimes poor, sometimes less poor, and always felt happy that my tax dollars (more or less) went into something so generally enobling. So, please, fewer wars, more free museums. It works wonders.
Woo hoo! Here's my opportunity to be pedantic and off-topic!
The Wright Flyer in the Smithsonian is a reproduction.
Carry on.
Of course it is! The original was shot down by a missile over New York Harbor!
I've noticed an odd thing about Canada. The roadside restrooms have (unbroken) glass mirrors and haven't been trashed. Is that because people understand that the government in a democracy is basically them? I've heard similar stories about the difference between the Indian states of Kerala, governed by the Communists for many years and nearby Tamil Nadu. At this point most facists would be on the left side of USAmurika politics.
Aha! So you admit that the Nazis were really liberals!
Alan Simpson said that we could save $$$ by getting rid of the EEOC, because, in the words of the report, "sexual harassment, meh."
Clarence Thomas would break his silence to get behind that proposal.
I see what you did there.
In fairness, the draft proposal was only submitted by committee co-chairs, and is unlikely to be ratified by the entire commission (which has no real power, anyway), according to Ezra Klein. So, this is really much ado about nothing. But I think Riley's post was better than Ezra's. It was good.
Aha, it was good.
This is why we can blow up nice things.
There are still Veterans' benefits that can be cut to reduce the defence budget.
Different funding streams. I think we should include all that in the defense budget, though, so we can see the true cost of war.
You may think you are snarking, but during BushCo's reign my copay for monthly meds went up 400%, because Repugs love the troops so much.
I wasn't snarking. "Support the Troops" is just something the warmongers say to rally the rubes.
And sadly, it seems to work all too often.
If you are not actively blowing things up or shooting brown people then you are not the troops. You – yes, you – are taking money away from hard-working corporations. Shame, shame I say.
No one in Congress gives a shit about the actual men and women serving. After all, they don't have high dollar lobbyists to help Congress decide what is important.
I'll never forgive them fuckers for that. The only "Support The Troops" they wanted to do was on the ribbon magnet on the tailgate of their SUV.
George W. Bush, Hypocrite-In-Chief.
Made in China.
Also, before Bill Maher went Full Asshole, he had a useful observation
I haven't read the thing. Did the Catfood Commission's assault on Wonkette values include a user fee on assfucking, too?
I'm betting AMD will be right on board with eliminating farm subsidies.
Please feed Butterstick, you bastards!
And Happy Armistice Day. Or Veteran's Day, since we Americans have to be exceptional.
Butterstick's back in China, on an intense diet and exercise regimen because he was in America too long and took up our fatass ways. He brings much shame to his ancestors.
My God! They're starting to repo everything to cover the money we owe them!
Truly, the Yellow Menace is upon us.
Going with "Armistice Day" gave praise to the anti-American value of not killing people.
Plus it has to do with history and stuff. Thinking and moral ambiguity are hard and uh … USA! USA!!
Remembrance Day, also.
Since it is War Day, I had better damn well see me some Weeping Eagles on this here disgustingly commie pinko socialist scum lieberal Website, or Michele Bachmann might use her newly free time to investigate all y'all for anti-Americanisms.
Harboring Neilist is a very serious offense.
It is also a no school day so no one needed to be fed a put on a bus, so I just fucking got up baby! USA! USA!
Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions
Make Butterstick pay back his panda student loans, dammit.
Butterstick is actually a deep cover agent. One phone call with a quotation from Robert Frost and he's been programed to blow up the the Three Gorges Dam.
Also, has anyone thought about having the National Zoo animals carry out the weapons development our military demands? The tigers work for raw meat and they never read the fine print in the Halliburton contracts.
That's what Jebus made the dolphins for. Don't you read the Bible?
So long. and thanks for all the fish.
Fucking pandas. Get a job, hippies!
Certainly seems like a Dickensian way to cure our deficit problems. Make the poor work a few more years, but do not ask the rich to share one more dollar of their precious, precious moneys.
You were expecting a different solution from rich old white men? We're just lucky they didn't make another modest proposal.
This current crop of Republican Cretins would make Dickenson gasp in horror.
Emily or Angie?
Angie would be more of a gasping whore. Sorry, my bad. I'm old, tired and not too smart.
For a real laugh look at the top marginal tax rate over time.
Ya know its just the darndest thing but back in the good old days we didn't have all this fuss about debt and deficits. Social Security was sound and we could send all the vets from WWII to college and Amurika was prosperous. I just don't know what went wrong. Of course the top marginal tax rate was over 90% from 1951 until 1963. But that wouldn't have had anything to do with it would it? BTW we all know now that Eisenhower was a communist, right?
And somehow we managed to build the interstate highway system and all those new schools for the baby boom, all while competing toe-to-toe with the Soviets in the arms race and the space race, AND inventing the computer industry. How did THAT happen, what with the heavy hand of government taxation oppressing the American people?
So the heavy hand of gubberminy taxation and the invisible hand of the free market were arm wrestling and the invisible hand won so now we have to kill the olds. Makes sense to me, doesittoyew?
What you mean "we", Canuckistani?
This is why we need Joe the Miller in the Senate. He knows that the only Constitutional entitlements are the ones his family is entitled to.
Those my friends are real FAMILY VALUES!1!
Slightly O/T, but it must be said.
As an "Honorably Discharged Veteran", I am disgusted by the slavish display of gratitude foisted upon us by an idiot public today. Most of those serving post-draft and now went in for their own selfish reasons or to stay out of jail, not for some grand purpose of saving your freedoms or fighting wars for large petroleum concerns.
Now, to drink.
My hero!
Such as for example Eisenhower, who I see cited – favorably – at least twice in this thread. Let's try and curb our enthusiasm, fellows.
George W – 50 years from now.
I beg your pardon, but even Richard Nixon was a pacifist war hero compared to the current crop of chickenshit republikunts, not to mention Eisenhower.
Thank you! It's like America finally figured out they can get young, mostly underprivileged folk to do their dirty work for them so they can stay home and watch teevee in their shitboxes every day and all they have to do is say nice things about them and they won't figure out they are getting fucked over in a huge way at home and abroad. Like telling your old faithful standby-fuck she's pretty, just to keep the pussy on hand when all the good traps run empty. It does make one feel used. I guess there's no pleasing some people.
And let me just say, as some who's had sex with many, many veterans (I do my part for Freedom), that most soldiers today know absolutely jack diddly squat about what they're fighting for. Stop pretending like the grunts down on the frontline are the ones making your politically convenient war decisions, and that any new proposal for combat drones or increased troop surge is anyone's idea except the fat-cat officers a million miles from a combat zone. You know what those kids in the hellzone want? To go to school and stay alive. The easiest way to honor a vet is to treat him like a human being, not cannon fodder.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a new tongue technique to "honor" the vets in the best way I know how. USA USA!
I think I love you!
Question, and I hope this doesn't sound too assholish, but what does "Honorably Discharged" actually mean? I mean, I used to assume it meant the common-vernacular version of something akin to leaving under amicable circumstances, rather than getting fired, but then I noticed that the various Teabag-Veterans running for Congress this year seemed to have been "Honorably Discharged" also, despite leaving the military incident to torture, murder, etc of Iraqis.
So does it just mean not being a homo, nowadays? Is that it?
Nothing so dramatic. I was invited to leave after two years because I "had problems dealing with authority figures". Who woulda guessed that?
Fun fact – after I was discharged, one of my housemates was an active duty AF corpsman. He got an offer to sail to Hawaii with some friends . Since his girlfriend at the time and him were Aurthur Murray dance instructors, he had them testify to his "gayness". And off he went, with an Honorable Discharge.
The system worked!
I, on the ther hand, was invited to leave because I "had issues dealing with authority figures". Who woulda thunk?
My husband was "Honorably Discharged" because after Desert Storm there werren't enough wars to keep them all employed. So they gave him a fat check and told him to be on his merry way.
On this day, I'd like to thank all of our American Veterinarians, whose thankless work and self-sacrifice have given so much to so many, regardless of phylum, genus, or species. God Bless You, true American Patriots.
Even John Ensign, but it's a one day thing.
Actually most of my army buddies had enlisted to stay out of jail, thank Gawd for marijuana prohibition. Without it we would have lost Viet Nam to the communists.
I think you're off on that. Regardless of the reasons, they're still risking their lives in public service, which is more than I do for a paycheck.
Alan Simpson's portrayal of "Crotchery Old Fart" is at least as cute as anything Butterstick has attempted. It should be noted however that Alan Simpson has been a sick venal fuck his entire adult life. So it's not a case of "get off my lawn" as much as a case of "death death death to you all, and misery!"
And "Backatcha" hatchet-face!
I knew that fucking Butterstick was too good to be true…
If you have to get into bestiality, you shouldn't tell us about it.
Once you go black & white, you never go back.
Ya know its just the darndest thing but back in the good old days we didn't have all this fuss about debt and deficits. Social Security was sound and we could send all the vets from WWII to college and Amurika was prosperous. I just don't know what went wrong. Of course the top marginal tax rate was over 90% from 1951 until 1963. But that wouldn't have had anything to do with it would it? BTW we all know now that Eisenhower was a communist
Can you say "Interstate Highway System"?
Right from Hitler's playbook to your state.
OK, but 1964: *The Times They Are A'Changin'*
Yes, it is all the fault of the lute-burning negroes, degenerate limey skiffle-combos and tone-deaf jewish street-buskers.
I see nothing wrong with charging fees for national parks and/or the Smithsonian – so long as they give a $5,000,000,000.00 tax break to major corporations who show that they bought a ticket in the last 5 years. I also like their idea to raise the taxes on gasoline, I just wish they would have put in the provision I REALLY wanted, which was to exempt the supreme flavored gasoline – you know the one that runs BMW's and Benzes. Or better yet – extend the tax break to the corporations who can prove that a BMW or Mercedes was purchased in America over the last 5 years. There – BUDGET BALANCED!!!
Maggot brained failure was a nice touch. But I has a sad for and Amurika which is now governed by maggot brained failures.
What you say would have merit, except for the fact that the federal budget is exactly like a household budget in every way. Except with respect to defense spending. And keep your slimy hands off my Medicare.
But cutting my Medicare when I'm theoretically old is just fine.
Shortening the year down to eleven months would also help cut government spending while stimulating consumer spending: Only 13 shopping days to Xmas!
- edited to remove asshole-ish tone –
While I understand that it takes dollars to maintain and operate these things, I do believe it's largely unfair that America's unsullied wildernesses are included in this sudden surge to encourage earning their keep. Discussions such as these sadden me, for they emphasize the one thing conservatives do NOT do, and that's conserve.
There is at least one huge, obvious lie in the McClatchy article:
""He hasn't done that to my satisfaction," McCain said.
Offering a different perspective, Sen. Joseph Lieberman"
No. Lieberman has never ever, in the history of the world, offered a different perspective from McCain.
I wonder what those letters home read like.
"Dear Family of PFC John Smith, we regret to inform you of your family member's demise. And we also regret to inform you that it wasn't in combat or anything noble like that. Those guys we're paying billions of dollars to keep our soldiers alive bug-zapped him in the shower.
Our bad."
Included is a gift card to Shakey's.
I don't know if you can see this from where you're sitting, but I'm humping your comment at the moment.
Remember Pat Tillman and Jessica Lynch; our military probably just makes some shit up about how they died a hero.
I'm going to miss my cousin, but, damn, if those biscuits & chocolate pudding (my go-to items at Shakey's) aren't delicious.
Whoa. That was harsh. Thank Gawd they cemented that oil hole properly like a good loyal <del> Amurikan</del> Abu Dabain company.
Here's a radical thought to "save" Social Security:
1) Eliminate the cap which limits your tax to 106,800. Now, if you make more than that, you're only taxed up to that amount. Eliminate the cap, so you pay on all your income.
2) Means test it on the other end. I loved Bob Hope, but did the guy really need Social Security benefits? No. This eliminates the "I paid into it" bullshit. I pay auto insurance premiums, too, but I don't expect to get all that money back when I'm too old to drive.
You know who else loved Bob Hope?
"This eliminates the "I paid into it" bullshit. I pay auto insurance premiums, too, but I don't expect to get all that money back when I'm too old to drive."
Thanks. I've been looking for a proper analogy to pose to my patrician bigoted rich-dick FIL for years.
My dad always said he wouldn't accept his social security benefits because he didn't need them. But he found out they are really difficult to opt out of. So he takes them now and just donates them to causes he feels are underfunded otherwise.
Your Dad sounds like a reasoned indivdual. My parents whine about taxes and their benefits while living in a friggin' paradise that they never enjoy because they sit in front of one of their 6 or 7 ginormo $$$ TeeVees every day.
My mother-in-law — who never paid a penny in income or social security taxes in her entire life — gets survivor benefits. She hates Obama because he didn't raise her social security payments last year.
My brother-in-law #1 claims to be 100% disabled from Vietnam and has gotten a couple thousand dollars a month, tax free from the gov't for the past 20 years or so. He briefly had a part-time job a couple years ago and complained about the withholding taxes.
My brother-in-law #2 claims to be 100% disabled from an accident. He also gets "free money" and complains about Obama.
I actually work and pay taxes.
People felt a need to make up for the apocryphal stories about soldiers returning from Vietnam being spit on that never actually happened.
Oh, I got spit on when I got home – I felt it running down the inside of my legs! For about a minute and a half.
About a month after I got home I was swimming nekked with the hippie chicks. Of course it helped that I was not a pro-war asshole. I occasionally wear my cunt cap and spit on the even today.
Simpson is the finest example of aged smarm I've ever seen: crusty through and through, with a brittle texture, uneven features and the unmistakable scent of smegma wafting around it. Looks so good I could eat it, just so I could shit it later and put it where it belongs.
Hold on there tommy, a team from the Vatican is coming to cast Hunter Thompson from thine earthly vessel. The power of Christ compels you!!
And believe it or not, I've been off the drugs and booze for years.
It's weird how walnuts and droopy dog are simultaneously for reducing the deficit and being at war forever. This isn't the mercantile era, gentlemen…
Good lordy, are the proposals truly terrible: first, they recommend cutting taxes (specifically: dropping the top bracket to 23%) and setting a 21%-of-GDP cap on tax revenue -which, for those of you playing the home game, would force a huge amount of deficit spending, since paying for things with taxes would be ruled out. And this is supposedly to fix the deficit.
And, oh, yeah, the Social Security stuff, so awesome. One of the refrains that people keep trying to claim is that pushing the retirement age up to 70 is no big thing, since average life expectancies have also gone up and that's really all this would refelct- only, it ends up that's mostly for top earners and that life expectancy has a sizable income effect.
For the bottom 20%- you know, the people most likely to need Social Security in their old age, in order to live, it ends up their life expectancy has improved by a whopping one year since the 1930's. But, whatever, they're poor, fuck 'em.
That's one year too many, given to those ungrateful wretches by FDR. America needs to return to the good old days of the 1890s when the poors knew their place and groveled before their betters!
Oh, for the good old days before FDR! When old people worked until they died or, if unable to keep working, would depend on relatives. Republican family values FTW!
It's not just the old people; we now have too many children going to socialist public schools instead of the coal mines where they belong.
"But, whatever, they're poor, fuck 'em."
I'm embroidering this on a pillow.
Love this. Kudos.
Thank God we're not French. We'd be rioting in the streets.
I dunno, there's something to be said for a good riot in the streets. I mean, okay, the French elevate it to somewhat of a national passtime, but at least they have their self-interests straight: government cuts jobs/wages or scales back social welfare programs, in already-high unemployment? Riot.
Meanwhile, here in US America, we throw bricks through windows and stomp on peoples' heads because we got near-universal health coverage, and our angry shouty people all want to get rid of medicare and social security and unemployment benefits entirely, because Soshulizms.
Hell, the English kids are rioting over an increase in university fees to a level that's about 10% of average American costs; meanwhile the deficit commission also wants to greatly increase interest on student loans. Maybe we could use a little more righteous anger at actual shitty policies (instead of anger at improving health insurance).
That would require intelligent thinking. We exported that years ago.
We would probably have that, if since the Reagan Regime, we wouldn't have raised an entire generation on the idea that "I got mine, fuck you" is a viable political philosophy.
A delegation of four U.S. senators, asserting that the U.S. counterinsurgency is making headway in Afghanistan
Counterinsurgency has worked so well in the not too distant past: the French in Algeria, the British in Kenya and, of course, the United States in Vietnam–in each case the western power fighting the insurgents finished no worse than second place.
So why not continue in Afghanistan indefinitely?
If a total fucked failure like McCain likes it, we should all be in favor so there will be a growing supply of wounded veterans to trot out each November 11.
Why do we call it a defence budget when everything we are involved in is so offensive?
Ba dum tish.
RESTRICT ACCESS TO NATURE AND CULTURE
CREATE PERMANENT UNDERCLASS
???
PROFIT!
We already pay to get into the parks. Even those of us who have paid to get our official olde fart National Parks not-quite free pass have to pay for other stuff like climbing permits.
Iffin' they're gonna charge for the Mall freebees, maybe the Capitol could set up facial recognition scanners at the security check points and charge fees of any registered lobbyist trying to enter. Maybe the Capitol staff could give the lobbyists a small tube of lip balm in return for the $10K daily entry fee.
To pay off the debt, all we need to do is harvest some Butterstick DNA, clone the little bastard and sell the clones on Ebay. All the rich folks could buy the pandas and turn them loose in the national parks. We could then charge foreign tourists hundreds of dollars a piece to see our wild herds of free roaming pandas.
Too much science. Now if we privatized the parks, some enterprising company could clone Butterstick. Or put up animatronic panda replicas. Whatever. Obviously this needs more Invisible Hand.
If we teach them to eat kudzu, we'll all be winners.
Where is my miniature giraffe?
Opulence. I has it.
During my one and only trip to D.C., the only place that impressed me was the Smithsonian. But obviously the new (or old) Repubatard mantra is to balance the budget on the backs of the olds, sick, pandas, and really cool stuff at the Smithsonian. Idiots.
Yeah I don't know if these fuckwads noticed, but there's plenty of commercialization at ALL of those "free" institutions. There are lines out the door DAILY to see the Constitution at the National Archives. People who want to buy shit are giving their money directly to the institutions at their own discretion. The thing bothering the crotchety old white guys is having to rub shoulders with a bunch of browns who dare to think that national treasures actually belong to them too.
Yeah, cause old sick pandas don't vote much.
Okay.
Those Republican fucks may NOT sell off old-growth timber — even if they got great pricing on the vast quantities we have in reserve — because those cockmongering Diapercostals will not cut the government a price break on the treasury bonds they'll eventually make out of the goddamn paper.
Better?
There you go.
If you've seen one redwood, you've seen 'em all.
That's the ticket!
Bye-bye empire, empire bye-bye
A Thomas Dolby reference that isn't from "She Blinded Me With Science"! Awesome!
It swirls through my head regularly, these days.
I was thinking the same thing–Yay! Well done.
It worked for the Brits; it'll be work for us, too.
It's time to pass the mantle of "The World's Policeman" to someone else.
Social Security is not the issue. I mean, if the trust-fund were truly bereft, as feisty Alan Simpson & simpering Erskine Bowles would have us believe, why would Wall Street be so licking its chops to get their grubby fingers on that money for "personal" accounts? No, SocSec is solvent, & will remain thus 'til 2040 or so, & return to solvency five or so years hence.
The deficit reduction pile of shit released yesterday also defunds the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Looks like Juan Williams wins again!
When I'm at my gate, & I see a liver-spotted Wyoming ex-Senator, or a John-Derbyshire-looking motherfucker who was Bill Clinton's Chief-of-Staff, I get nervous. I start to think: will they exhaust the dining carriage before it even gets within ten rows of me, filling their dentured maws with salted nuts & old-fashioneds?
Fun Fact: Republican's RUN to NPR when they want to spout some shit mouth talking point. Example that fat fuck Huck. And Newts been on plenty of times.
Ya know, defunded it fuckers. We will survive. We will survive.
Okay, I am ranting but I love NPR and PBS and support them.
Repeating a Presidential Campaign pledge, McCain cackled "I will feast on the blood of your children for a hundred years!" while scaling the back wall of the White House like a lizard.
Isn't it not so much solvency ending in 2037 but having to pay out benefits from the endowment, & not just the interest, starting in that year?
Yep. And it's weird that the people who are so concerned about Social Security's long-term solvency give much attention to any other portion of the budget over a quarter century from now; it's almost is if they're using the projection as an excuse for attacking a popular system they don't like.
Kind of makes you wonder how anyone buys the "Social Security won't be around when you need it. Let's do away with it." argument.
To be fair to people who want to raid Social Security, though, they're doing everything else in their power to make that forecast a reality, also.
"He hasn't done that to my satisfaction," McCain said.
As if anyone anywhere should care if that dried up sack of shit is satisfied about anything.
You want to be satisfied, Mr. Shit-for-Brains? Eat a bag of rat dicks. It will really fill you up.
Speaking of veterans and deficits. If more of them died of their injuries fewer of them would need expensive VA medical care and services afterwards. And the same goes for WTC responders. Always fucking whining about their cancers and inability to breath. Just fucking die already. Do it for America.
If you're going to defend my freedumz, do it right, dammit!
Lieutenant Dan?
Here's a plan. Instead of charging for entrance. Charge on exit from the National Parks. And make sure the bears are hungry.
Seriously though, I don't mind paying if I have too, but I can understand that the poors my not be able to pay the fees. Sadly.
For me its not so much that the poors have to pay but that the rich have pretty much stopped paying taxes entirely, and take my word for it, unless your having someone read this here Wonkette and telling you the funny parts while you relax on your yacht you're not rich and never will be unless you can arrange to win the lottery say 30 times in a row.
So true.
War Stories! In the dorm at Ft. Gordon in 1966 we took up a collection and two of our roomies (A Messican dude, no names here though) and another surfer/California Okie/ Stoner) hitched rides ( one of them wearing huaraches with his dress uniform) on military air transport to San Diego (awol the whole time) and brought use back a kilo of rank Messican weed. Those were the days. An that's how I won the war. So there.
Thank you for your service.
The problem with this commission report is that they are trying to eliminate the deficit in FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, Alan. Trucknuts. Worthly. Also.
But during that time they gave the world Dr. Who, Monty Python, great music, Top Gear and Luther. Pretty fair trade-off, if you ask me. This son of Irish immigrants has forgiven them.
Pandas. They're godless killing machines.
Then we should cut funding for the military and just send more pandas to Afghanistan.
Can Pandas operate drones? Do they have thumbs?
My current favorite serious author with a porn name, Chalmers Johnson, argues that the Brits gave up empire and stumbled thereafter headlong into democracy, in his excellent and thoroughly depressing, End Of Empire.
And back then you could buy a whole bushelful o' war for a nickel.
Starving an infinite number of pandas is worth one deficit!
But srsly – THIS is how they intend to cut the deficit? NPR? The Smithsonian? National Parks? Must've been some extra-high-octane pharmaceuticals making the rounds in that room.
Remove the tax-ceiling bullshit, close 2/3 or so of those offshore military bases, start taxing capital gains … there's only about a thousand or so obvious things like this that'd do more to save $$$ than taking on Big Panda & Big History.
In defense of our terrible Congress, it is worth keeping in mind that every econ 101 class in the country teaches that the two goods a society must choose between producing are guns and Butterstick.
I guess that Veteran's Day brings out a lot of bitterness in me because, before I worked in government, I never got the day off when I worked in the private sector.
My experience exactly!
I usually come to work drunk though to celebrate my discharge.
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