Barack Obama and John Boehner are going to have to work with one another if they want to get any sort of legislation passed in the next two years. The problem is that one of those two people probably wants to get stuff passed, but that second guy would rather get drunk on the reg and cover himself in orange paint on the reg. The New York Times asked some people around Washington if these two guys will ever hang out and get things done like Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan or Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton did, and everyone basically said no. But with the power of the Internet, we made the Venn diagram above, based on Google Suggest data. According to search-engine users, Barack Obama, John Boehner, and Bill Clinton are black and Jewish. So at least they have that in common!
Mr. Clinton and Mr. Gingrich could spend hours in policy discussions. In the 1980s, President Ronald Reagan and Speaker Thomas P. O’Neill Jr. shared evening drinks and Irish storytelling. So far, at least, Mr. Obama and Mr. Boehner have spent virtually no time together and have made little effort to forge a bond. Aides said they could not recall a single one-on-one meeting or substantive phone call.
And the rest of the story is about how everyone thinks the two of them should play golf together. The whole country can be saved if Barack Obama is able to stand talking to someone who is dumb and orange and if John Boehner is able to stand talking to someone who is not a lobbyist, for the time it takes to play a game of golf. This is what the free world hinges on.
But look at those Google searches! John Boehner’s mom is black. Barack Obama is a freemason muslin antichrist. These are interesting guys! They will have plenty to talk about. [NYT]
{ 142 comments }
Fuck golf, let Barry dunk all over that fucking wannabe colored feller. Oh who am I kidding, Barry prolly can't dunk. But still…
Whattaya mean, "wannabe colored"? Orange IS a color, you hue-ist.
That's what Reggie Love is for, CT. BO is raining jumpers all day from outside, then alley-oops to Reggie who posterizes the Orangeman.
John Boehner, the Craig Ehlo of the Federal government.
but will the black jewish center hold, or will all rude beasts slouch toward bethlehem?
And has Rich Sanchez been notified of this?
He's the one typing in all those searches.
Things do fall apart. And I'm afraid this country is going to be one of them.
The center is not holding, that's for damn sure.
All I know is that some of the best candies have a black Jewish center.
sweet.
The surprises from that search: that there's still people looking into freemason conspiracy theories; I thought that one had died decades ago; and that "a smoker" doesn't come up for Obama, even though it's accurate. Hey, maybe that's how and Boehner could bond, sharing a cigarette break out in the alley behind the Capitol.
Given that Glenn Beck is making a pretty good living off of pedaling old John Birch Society conspiracy theories, I'm just surprised that Sean Hannity hasn't gone all Mason all the time.
As in Mason jar, or the satanic cult?
Manson?
You mean Shirley? She's getting kind of up there but I'd still do her.
George's little brother is the Mason jar.
As is Hannity's brain. Same thing, really.
Paul Simon wrote a song about that. He just used Julio instead of John.
Plus Clinton liked cigars.
Mmm, Freemason conspiracy theories are sort of dead central to the Book of Mormon, so there's a few million folks.
On tweety bird's show this Sunday. Katty Kay suggested that Barry and Boehner might step out for "a quick fag behind the bike shed." Sounds hot to me.
I find this chart confusing.
Is this some kind of joke?
Aww, that's so innocent, I really want to help you out: No. It is dead serious.
Nope. Just life.
http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s...
Cheers!
Oy, it gets worse. http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s...
Venn diagrams are sick jokes.
I mean look at this shit:
0 \leq i \leq n-2 and i \in \mathbb{N}.
The choice of norm on $mathbb{R}^n$ will change the expression of the Lipschitz constant $L$ in terms of the Lipschitz constants $L_i$ of the components, but not whether $f$ is Lipschitz.
I have no idea what that means but for some weird reason it made me snort wine out my nose? and it was NOT comforting at ALL!
Anything with "Lipschitz" is kind of funny?
Halloween and the SF Les Gigantes Proves that Orange and Black go together.
I still wear my Croix de Candlestick proudly.
On this, we can agree. Liberte, Freakite, et le Beard.
Aint that a Mutha F@#$in Shandeh.
I know. I know. Barack and Boehner start with a B. So they can do things together that start with the letter B.
Bubble Bath
Birth
Bar-B-Que
Bratwurst
Beer
Bong
Beets
Boysenberry
Bi
Bumble Bee (tuna)
Beaver!
Bristol.
Which ever one of you came up with Bristle, thank you.
You forgot bestiality. They could invite Carl Paladino.
I feel like John Boehner's idea of a "hot date" would involve smearing peanut butter on his nuts and hanging out at the dog pound.
No one mentions Buttsecks? Is this Wonkette? Where the hell am I?
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Oh darn….You "beet" me to it!
I hate to point this out, but butt-sechs.
Beer-Based Bubble Bath with Brisket's Beaver you Betcha!
Dr Seuss?
They all have dogs right? So they all have dog shit in common. Please update the diagram.
Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dog shit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog shit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits you.
Poopy…no, wait. I said I wouldn't do that anymore. Nevermind.
So, Bubba and Newtie bonded; America got anally raped as a result, and now the NYT wants Boner and Barry to give us a reach-around? Nuh, uh. Count me out.
Just the thought of spending three hours on a golf course with John Boehner is soul-sucking, but it does raise a question I've been curious about for a while: how do you shoot out of the rough with a tax cut? I know that's his solution to everything, but I'd just like to see someone try it.
I think that is actually accomplished with deregulation.
Got that right.
Rules in golf is just "redtape".
Play the Boner way: Cheat, cheat, cheat.
I'd use a wedge in that situation.
Immigration reform, or something more serious, like gay marriage?
Both strong options, but in my experience, nothing gets you closer to the hole more reliably than abortion.
And here I thought getting to the hole led to abortion.
DAMN, beat me to it (by about 6 hours!)
Isn't Wedge the new manager of the Mariners?
I thought he was Luke's friend from Tatooine.
Wooks:
You use an SKS (or equivalent) golf ball grenade launcher:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8d-7aza1Qw&fe...
[use]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIKXNCPE9tM
[construction]
I hope that explains it to you Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM . . .
FORE! :::BOOM!:::
Neilist
PGA [Professional Gunnutz Association]
Putting More Than 18 Holes In Something in the Bushes of Your Local Muni Course
["Alright, Mr. Gopher Cong . . . .]
OK, enuf, already. Now you are just making a MOCKERY of the game.
I think it involves throwing the ball and lying about it.
With a name like Boener, I'm surprised you didn't get "up for erection" as a result.
All three are highly public people who can't seem to get much accomplished.
Mr. Clinton and Mr. Gingrich could spend hours in policy discussions.
In other words, they spent hours discussing whether you lit the cigar before or after you shoved it up the interns twat.
I found a bug: <a href="http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#start=X&end0=snowmachine&end1=Sarah+Palin&end2=fetus+in+a+jar" target="_blank"> <a href="http://;http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s…” target=”_blank”>;http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s…
Clearly, the last four keywords for snowmachine should be in common with Sarah.
http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s...
Fixed!
Everyone's just deletin' their comments all over the place today.
Long URL crapped out in editor. Reposted below.
I found a bug. The last 4 snowmachine keywords should be in common with Sarah:
http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s...
Changed snowmobile to moose http://www.technomancy.org/google-suggest-venn/#s...
Now she would only have the first one in common.
Is your avitar some kind of sex toy? I'm having trouble making it out.
For those of you having difficulty deciphering the meaning of Jack's diagram, here's an easy-to-understand pictorial representation.
that's fantastic.
Don't we get crayons? I thought there would be crayons. I want crayons…to color in this neat chart.
BTW: That FIT dude is back.
Can we please have the Snorg girl back too, then?
But I thought Barry was already playing too much golf?
but the black guy is also the president, so which one is the caddy?
"So let me ask you, Mr. President. Which club should I use here?"
"Well, John. In my opinion you should take a three wood and shove it up you ass until the club head hits your tonsils."
I think you meant to ask a more Povich-esque question: Who's the daddy?
Did Boehner and Obama each have a pickled sibling-in-a-jar? I imagine that would provide some genuine bonding opportunities…
Well, one of them can talk about always having to be the grown-up and clean up economic messes left by man/woman-children who worship at the altar of Rand and Reagan with no regard for the consequences of their confused ideology, and never receiving credit for it. And the other one can say "sucks to be you, socialist. HELL NO YOU CAN'T!"
Aides said they could not recall a single one-on-one meeting or substantive phone call.
That's not what he said.
Lenny Kravitz is still alive.
A Slash of the pie.
As is Whoopi Goldberg.
She is crazy and you should discontinue all attempts to interact with her. Give me her phone number and I will make sure she does you no harm.
Maybe Barry should try writing Boehner a check …
How about a whole bunch of them, and Boner can pass them out on the House floor?
Anti-Freemasonry?? Wow, thats so old a joke even Leno doesn't use it.
This sounds interesting. Someone call Dan Brown's agent.
Sorry, as a redheaded person, I only go for orange men, so I'm saving myself for Johnny-John Boehner.
Tough luck!
We will always have the Wonkette comments section!
Ebony and orangey
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard
Here in Tel Aviv
If you think Bubba would miss out on a good threesome, you are crazy.
I don't think there's any possible combination which includes Boehner that can be called "good."
Brief fantasy in which Barry and Boner go golfing, Boner's kneeling, setting up a shot, and Barry begins to shift from foot to foot while holding his club with both hands, and begins to softly explain that "a man has got to have enthusiasms…."
Time for the Slurpee Summit. As in, get your slurpin' lips on, Boehner.
Good- Barry Soetero(in honor of his visit to Indonesia) needs to stay clear of Boner. Time to kick the GOP to the curb- no more pretending they are anything but roadblocks.
I'm sorry, but I'm still trying to figure out why someone wasted ink or webspace on the topic of interpersonal relations. Who gives a flying fuck how or if people get on personally? We are talking about work here. When it comes to work, nobody guarantees it will be fun or pleasant; that' s one reason why it is a paid activity. I want the job done for Americans and I do not care if John and Barry "get along" or not. Too much to hope for? I thought so.
You clearly need a hug. Or to get in touch with your inner child's feelings.
I know you are right, but nobody wants to hug a cranky old asshole, and frankly, I don't blame them… My inner child is too busy masturbating to Farrah Faucet's Poster to pay any attention to me.
HELL NO YOU CAN'T!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gPxZZBAwNY
The circles are all White and thus represent the Republican Party
The three white areas without any print represent the 3 lobes of Sarah Palin's lizard brain.
Anyone know of any jobs for a recent Art Appreciation grad?
The three white areas without any print represent the 3 lobes of Sarah Palin's lizard brain.
HELL NO, YOU CUNT!
They call it Grad School. I call it Not Unemployed.
The three white areas without any print represent the 3 lobes of Sarah Palin's lizard brain.
Colleen Thomas was right!
Perhaps if they start scheduling their smoke breaks for the same time each day they will form a bond. I have observed deep friendships evolve among smokers in my office as a result of their twice or thrice daily huff'n'puffs next to the Waste Management dumpster in the alley.
Funny cat photos or kitten pictures can surely bring them together.
I think I've posted this before.
Venn will it end?
They should add a fourth vector:
A Mulatto,
An Albino,
A Mosquito,
My Libido
If you consider the size Boehner's dick must be to require such grandiose posturing, Kurt Cobain intersects with all of them.
Great poem!
OT, abcnewz Repubican-in-Residence Diane Sawyer is reporting that a suspiciously suspicious Floridian who went by the name of Bobby Thompson and contributed buckets of money to Boner, and Shrub, and McWalnuz is a bamboozler!! Can you imagine Wonketteers that a suspicious bamboosler would be given pots of monies to the aforementioned trio? And just who did he bamboozle? Well our beloved vets, that's who. Even worse he's using the name Bobby Thompson as his nom-de-screw. Is nothing fucking sacred?.
Not only does Repubtard bidness screw the American taxpayer on defense contracts, but now they are gleefully screwing our vets. Looks like the 112th Congress is going to be the Congress of teh big screw. Where is Ben Dover Smith at a time like this when there is some serious Repubtard dick to take up the ass? Calling Mr. Smith, Mr. Ben Dover Smith, there is buttsechs in the lobby. Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith?
The Republican Party financed by criminals and flim-flam men? SAY IT AIN'T SO!
They'll silence the bamboozler plenty quickly. By tomorrow, he'll be Bobby the Headless Thompson Gunner.
Obligatory fist for the Warren.
For all the shit Nancy Pelosi got about her appearance (total bullshit given she's looking healthy and vivacious at her age for Chrissakes), I have to say Boehner is an even fuglier woman. Flat rack, poor skin, and drunk all the time… The kind you don't bring home to mother.
Can you imagine what her dugs must look like? Yeesh….
Yep, she's a real looker:
http://blog.infinitemonkeysblog.com/files/images/...
Not to worry, the bipartisan deficit reduction panel will bring us all together!
Yes! All huddled together next barrels full of burning trash for warmth.
You think you're so goddamn smart Jack, don't you? So then how come your stupid diagram leaves out Venn Jones, huh?
Your new indian name is "I will poopyhead no more, forever."
Also.
Perhaps that isn't a tan. Maybe, the honorable (cough, cough) John Boehner is a giant nicotine stain.
Sammy Davis, Jr.! Where are you in our hour of need? Only you can save us now!!!!
THIS IS NOW A BLANK PAGE!!! ARE WE TOO LATE?!?!?!
Damned intense debate eated my ewetoob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKx4MeBybkc&fe...
This is her explanation of that so-called "missile launch" yesterday.
/// "So far, at least, Mr. Obama and Mr. Boehner have spent virtually no time together and have made little effort to forge a bond. Aides said they could not recall a single one-on-one meeting or substantive phone call." ///
I guess no one here realizes that Obama has been out of the country for the past several days. Boehner could ask to borrow Pelosi's jet to go and see him, I suppose, but that wouldn't sit well with a vast majority of Americans.
Speaking of Pelosi, did you hear how she threw a hissy fit at the suggestion that the retirement age be raised to 68 over the next few decades? I would suggest raising it to 70 over the next 10 years or so, because the life expectancy of someone reaching age 65 has increased by a little over 5 years since 1935. How old is Nanny Pelosi, anyway? 70? 71? Maybe she should be FORCED to retire because, according to her, once people reach 65, they become helpless.
Strangely, enough, we weren't speaking of Pelosi.
Perhaps you should stuff a corncob up your ass.
Well-drooled.
Look at 4TheTurnstiles' post, genius. It's about 5 up from this one. That corncob get jammed into your medulla oblongata?
Venn am I going to get a life?
Testing….one, two
Oh goodie, Venn diagrams. Lets see now…what?
And the bartender says,
"NOBOBAMA."
Actually Jack…look at this video of Boehner's mother and sister. They look like White Euros to you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UFxkw37-FE
Maybe Gypsies, but not German or Irish.
It does, but without a moral mulligan like abortion in your back pocket, it's gonna be a long time before your putter sees action again.
(Unless you're cleared to play the back nine, of course…or are into miniature golf.)
Yeah, but not Marilyn.
Extemporanus and SayItWithWookies, you guys are fucking gold, (sub)national treasures, even.
Agreed. This is the kind of commentary I can find only at Wonkette.
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