Cigarettes are going to cease to exist forever because the FDA has unveiled new, scarier anti-smoking warnings that will cover 50% of the front of cigarette packaging. But because these warning pictures were made by bureaucrats, they're not actually that scary. Where's the photo of a cigarette chopping a guy's dick in half? C'mon, government. Anyway, as Wonkette operative "G B" notes, they did see fit to include a heart-attack Dick Cheney in this series, seen at left. So the message they're trying to promote is you can have all the heart attacks you want and still live forever if you make a Faustian bargain to kill lots of Iraqi children for no reason at all?
Obviously, this is the cigarette warning America needs:
And with Republicans in power with and their penchant for sticking that guy on everything, his mug will soon be lighting up on the front of your Kools. [ WP ]
Put a Sharron Angle celebrity endorsement on the cigarette packs. Women smokers will be horrified by the lizard skin and dentures, and men will be unable to get it up for a week.
(a) Cheech Marin (b) Bob Denver (c) Woody Harrelson (d) Ashton Kutcher