The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer left us a present in the RSS feed this morning: a pleasant blog post about how WE MUST KILL ALL OF THE BEARS. Fischer takes offense to a report that global warming has tweaked Yellowstone grizzly bears' food supply, causing some of them to go after humans and get shot in the process. "God makes it clear in Scripture that deaths of people and livestock at the hands of savage beasts is a sign that the land is under a curse. The tragic thing here is that we are bringing this curse upon ourselves." So Bryan Fischer believes in global warming? Don't be silly. He believes in the curse of our country's failing morality and in the curse of NOT SHOOTING DEAD ALL THE BEARS IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW.
It's not until the fifth paragraph that we get the first mention of a human fatality. And it's only in passing, in words from a man who lost a friend to a grizzly and naturally blames people, apparently including his own botanist friend: : "A grizzly is a top-level carnivore; at times he will act like one," said Chuck Neal, author of "Grizzlies in the Mist," who lost a botanist friend to a grizzly attack this year. "People are a readily available source of high-quality protein. We eat too much and exercise too little. We're like a hot dog on two legs."
Yep, the problem is those pesky couch potato homo sapiens who just need to get in better shape. So they, what, can outrun a bear?
Watch it, Fischer. Don't give that evil witch Michelle Obama any ideas. She WILL force you to get into shape, even if it means chancing your getting eaten by a bear.
One human being is worth more than an infinite number of grizzly bears. Another way to put it is that there is no number of live grizzlies worth one dead human being. If it's a choice between grizzlies and humans, the grizzlies have to go. And it's time.
You had a good run, bears. But you're on the all-powerful Jesus-endorsed AFA's extinction wish-list now. [ AFA (at Archive.org]
THANK YOU BRYAN FISCHER! At long last, we have found the litmus test for stupidity and monstrously fuckedness!
There does seem to be a very clear bright line.
The real danger is if the bears learn to fly helicopters and start to shoot back. Or if they become muslins.