When a French TV station set out to understand the American phenomenon known as the tea party, it sent a reporter to Florida, down a dusty country road, past a bug-swarmed pond, and into a Pasco County pasture filled with people waving American flags.

It was Oct. 30, three days before Election Day. The crowd had come to Hallelujah Acres Ranch to hear Republican Senate nominee Marco Rubio, frequently hailed — and claimed — as one of the tea party’s biggest success stories.

But the typically unflappable candidate seemed uncomfortable with the French reporter’s questions about his tea party ties, as he did when an admirer asked him to autograph a tea party banner.

Marco Rubio a Teabagger? Whatever would have given you that idea? If by “Tea Party” you mean “Wants To Run For President Some Day Party,” then yes, he is a member, but only if that’s what you mean. [Miami Herald]

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  • SexySmurf

    Now it's the teabaggers' turn to be disappointed for two years.

    • widestanceroman

      It's equal parts funny and terrifying to think how buyer's remorse will manifest itself with these rage addicts now that they have served the GOP's purpose. . .

    • iburl

      Considering the evident purpose of the teabaggers is simply to destroy our government from within by electing the meanest and stupidest Republicans possible, I'm pretty sure they won't be disappointed

    • June_Cleaver2.0

      That's my only consolation.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Yeah I was just thinking that…between this 'revelation' (you mean Jeb Bush's boytoy used dimwitted teabaggers? NO WAY) and the 'revelation' that Rand (flip-flop on every principle he has for that brass ring) Paul has decided maybe pork isn't SO BAD afterall I look forward to these dim bulbs having to reconcile themselves. What will really piss them off is if no one impeaches that muslin Obammar and instead the Republicans put aside their nutty rhetoric and work with Democrats; oh what a horrible year 2012 will be for the Tea Party!

      As it is engrave their tombstones now…I personally expect the 'bagger movement, such as it is (clever marketing gimick to disguise Bushites by rebranding them) to flame out the moment Palin gets downed in the 2012 primary, but before then I'll take sadistic glee in listening to them whine.

  • Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

    It's in the Bible, bitches!

    • Not_So_Much

      I didn't have Marco first in my pool, but i figured there was going to be a cock angle with one of these douchebags.

    • StillGoinGreen

      Doesn't it also say somewhere that Jesus said, "Et tu, Brute?" right before Pontius Pilate stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake?

      • Moonbat

        I think so. Either the Bible, or "Blackula meets The Mummy."

        One or the other, I'm pretty sure!

    • axmxz

      The Gaul was the first cock; the next two will be Dick Cheney and John Boehner. And lo, the prophecy will be fulfilled.

  • GuyClinch

    Yeah, I think for some of these newbies, the Tea Party was a one-election stand, and now they're praying she didn't get preggers.

    • SorosBot

      For one group of Republicans including Rubio, it was a primary election only stand; that group is called "candidates who did not go down in flames (besides Rand Paul)".

    • Negropolis

      No, they just have to pray that the Tea Party isn't a pyscho-stalker bitch.

    • Banelm

      But of course she's already pregnant, that's why she was so eager to get down with the wealthy old overweight GOP to begin with. Also the teabaggers are all stalker types, also…

  • savethispatient

    Uh oh! His facebook fans are gonna be pissed!

  • Redhead

    You mean when it wasn't instantly and easily successful, a Tea Party figure chose to bail instead of trying harder?

    Well gosh-darn-it, I'm so glad he's the only Tea Party figure to ever bail at the first bump in the road, dontchaknow.

  • bumfug

    "Thanks for the foot in the door – see ya, suckers!!!!"

    • mrpuma2u

      egg-ZACK-lee. I think many in the tea party are going to have to deal with "why won't he return my calls?" moments in the coming months.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Guess that would make him a brown Scott Brown, hmm?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Even Browner; he's Cuban.

      • Negropolis

        But, he's surprisingly lighter-skinned than John Boehner.

    • Sgt_Biyatch

      Henceforth, the "pretend to be a Teabagger to get the crazy vote until the day after the election" move shall be known as the "Brown Tea Shuffle".

  • SayItWithWookies

    Don't worry Tea Party — I'm sure he left his number on a sticky note on your dresser before he hopped out the front door while still putting his pants on.

    • kenlayisalive

      Just did them, wiped off his dick with Rand Paul's wig, and got the hell out.

  • SorosBot

    At least the now lame-duck Crist, may be correcting a decades-old injustice, by pardoning Jim Morrison's penis.

    • V572625694

      At last, a great man, unjustly accused, will be vindicated.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Down in Miami at the time the saying about the young lady who filed the suit was "If Jim Morrison had shown her his dick in the privacy of a hotel room, she wouldn't have complained."

    • Tundra Grifter

      I was going to school at the U of Miami at the time. The show was at a place called Pirate's World – famous for advertising internally known bands. So you'd pay to see some really famous group and go to the show and the announcer would say "Geez – we're sorry they couldn't make it so instead we have…"

  • PalinPussyPower

    Now I'm not saying the Tea Party is filled with inbred, armed racists.
    I'm also not saying that Marco Antonio Rubio sounds like a foreigner's name.
    But if I were him, I'd start sleeping with one eye open.

  • neiltheblaze

    Of course Rubio will now have nothing to do with the Tea Party. They've served their purpose. Now he's gonna make hay while the sun shines and make all manner of brand new K Street friends. Don't the 'Baggers understand that that's how it works?

    Let's just hope they get suicidal and discouraged and give up voting.

    • nounverb911

      Sounds like a case for Sharon Angle and the 2nd Amendment Solvers.

    • fuflans

      or just get suicidal.

  • elviouslyqueer

    The last line in the article is telling:

    With that, Rubio climbed back into his chartered jet and was gone.

    Sorta blows that whole folksy, anti-elitist Teabagger bullshit right out the window.

    • SorosBot

      Rubio was really Keyser Soze all along!

  • Marco keeps his youthful figure by doing vigorous backpedaling. Tomorrow he will indicate that he is not reall all that hispanic, and Thursday, that he is not so much in favor of Arizonian immigration control. Friday, who knows? Not so comfortable with the label "hominid"? And next week, "I am not a crook."

    • Negropolis

      Not really much of a stretch. Cuban's think they are white, anyway, no matter how often mouth-breathers call them Mexican.

      • GOPCrusher

        And Republiklans consider them "good" Latinos, since they fled from a Communist regime. Mexicans just want to steal American jerbs.

  • HistoriCat

    Someone should have told this French reporter that real 'Merkan reporters don't ask awkward questions. You could lose your access for talking like that …

    • kenlayisalive

      "Don't taze me, Rubi-bro!"

  • Gopherit

    Rubio is way too educated, politically savvy, greedy, and brown (in name, anyway) to be a tea bagger. Their bad in picking him.

    • He is slippery enough, self-righteous enough, and aggressive enough, though.

      Also, as a white Cuban expatriate, he's not really so brown, either. Like Ricky Riccardo.

      • Gopherit

        The teabaggers I have seen in AZ are plenty self righteous, but slippery? Not so much. They're about as politically adroit as a toddler, which was one of the aspects the teabaggers found so "refreshing". Rubio won their vote because he wasn't brown in color and wasn't gay. He sure as hell isn't going to vote the way they want, though. He's a republican cut from the same cloth as Cantor and McConnell.

      • Advn2rgirl

        He's brown enough for much of the South to hate on, though.

        Outside of Florida, they don't seem to really get that "Cubans in America think they're White" thing. To many exiles' way of thinking, the Brown Cubans are the ones who sided with Castro and were left behind in Havana. See what happens when one is mistaken for a Mexican if you don't believe me.

        The kid's got skills, though. His dream is to be the Republican Obama. If they're smart, it's Obama v. Rubio in 2012. That's their fantasy matchup.

        • snoopyfan2010

          How can he be the Republican Obama if he isn't really a brown person?

          • Advn2rgirl

            I'm not saying he's not brown; I'm saying he's hoping he's not brown. Remember when Mariah Carey first came out? It's like that.

          • snoopyfan2010

            No….I don't remember Mariah Carey coming out. (I assume you're talking about her race). Must not have been a big deal….for me. On a slightly unrelated note, I think US Americans spend too much time on race.

          • Advn2rgirl

            I meant when she came out with her self-titled 1st album, when she first came to public notice. There was lots of buzz about "Was she or wasn't she?" and she carefully avoided discussing her black father until pressed directly on the subject. We Do put too much emphasis on race but it's usually because not being White or all White is seen as a detriment. As Chris Rock said of Rae Dawn Chong, who, like Mariah has Irish and African ancestry, "Try marrying a Kennedy and find out how Black you really are!" <grin>

          • snoopyfan2010

            Meh…either way a mutt's a mutt. And our country is full of mutts.

            What is funny is seeing people try to split hairs over Barry even though he never tried to hide his background. I guess it throws people off if you don't make a big deal out of it.

        • kenlayisalive

          You're right. Many Cuban ex-pats are especially white, privileged, and right wing.

          As for him being a repug dream candidate, I certainly don't think it would bring many Latinos clamoring to vote Republican considering the Arizona law and Angle's over-the-top race-baiting. Nor do I think these white teabagging assholes would be interested in seeing another not-WASP as president at this point.

          But I could be wrong. The teabagger mind is as mysterious to me as magnets are to the Insane Clown Posse.

        • Gainsbourg69

          Rubio's acceptance speech was lifted from dreams of my father. Karl Rove and Frank Luntz are already writing the narrative for his 2016 run. What's fucking sad is that he'll probably win because he's a Bush mkII.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    "No, Wait. I am saying…" &cetera.

  • Rubio to Tea Party: "You are dead to me!"

  • Extemporanus

    Marco Rubio's attempt to distance himself from the Teabaggers is what's referred to in the Cuban-American community as a "Mariel Scrote Lift".

  • V572625694

    How about this:

    …but if you're an inbred armed racist with dangerously high glucose levels and subnormal intellect, you're almost certainly a Teabagger.

    One of Maher's rarer good ones.

  • mavenmaven

    "Only the true Tea Bagger will deny that he is a true Tea Bagger! "

  • BarackMyWorld

    Florida and politics go together like peanut butter and cancer.

  • fuflans

    frailty thy name is realpolitik

  • LionelHutzEsq

    But, wait. I thought that once a Cuban had set one teabag on dry ground in the US, they were a teabagger for ever.

  • DahBoner

    Just like no Republican ever liked George W. Bush that much.


  • hagajim

    So Marco must have pulled the Truck Nutz from his wagon….or chin?

  • transfatz

    Marco is not so sure of the teabaggers now but he will save the condom for re-use in 2012.

  • Negropolis

    Own the tea party, you little fucker. Own it and like it.

  • GOPCrusher

    By 2012, a candidate will be better off calling themselves a Nazi then a Tea Bagger.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    It's going to be pretty humorous to watch the old and the angry get positively apoplectic the first time this Bushite does something that isn't mean, cruel or racist. If these teabags (yes I mean testicles which judging from the advanced age of many 'baggers, very saggy testicles indeed) thought for just a moment these weren't career minded, professional politicians playing the wingnut populism game to garner support, they really are practiced in compartmentalization.

    They won't cut spending, hell as it is the only coherent plan they have is to ban earmarks which won't accomplish much and Mitchy Poo is quickly working to undermine that little stunt, also. What these assholes gave us is two years of partisan bickering, posturing and food fights without much else.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    As for the wingnuts right now things aren't going well, the Supreme Court isn't going to strike down Obamacare without inventing a constitutional test for it and these attorneys general who represent the constituency of their own political careers damn well know it. The GOP house isn't going to impeach Obama nor will they defund his healthcare bill because at the end of the day they care about two things: personal power (by staying in office) and croney-minded taxcuts for the rich.

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