Yes, maybe the United States didn’t explode yesterday from all the alien bombs like that lady said they would, but that doesn’t mean the Lizard People won’t SHOOT LAVA IN THE AIR TO COOK BARACK OBAMA.
President Obama arrived in Indonesia on Tuesday for a short stay mixing diplomacy with an important Muslim nation and nostalgia as he returns to a boyhood home. But the erupting Merapi volcano will cut short his visit, originally scheduled for 24 hours, by nearly two hours.
But can’t we also blame this Act of God on God, who despises and likes to kill Muslims like Barack Obama and his homeland’s population? Is God a Lizard Person? [WP]
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O Versus the Volcano
I'm sure Pat Robertson's prayers had something to do with this.
And Bobby Jindal's.
'Cause we didn't take my advice and throw Bobby into a volcano to appease the gods.
The punishment best befitting virgins.
Don't worry. If he tries to run for president, the teabaggers will do it.
Alert the United States Secret Service and see how Pat likes their interview techniques!
Bobby Jindal wondered why we're sending aid to Indonesia when they're just going to waste it on government pork like something called volcano monitoring.
The Indonesias don't eat pork, do they?
You don't think Dick "Mole-bot" Cheney has something to do with this? Haliburton installed those volcano valves years ago. Soon his underworld army of cybernetic molemen's metal hearts will buzz with pride as they reclaim the surface world for their God-emperor.
Could this volcano be the one that houses Cheney's secret lair?
"We're going to need 4 trillion metric tons of baking soda 500 million gallons of vinegar!"
Maybe Bobby the Jindal can [whine and bully the Corps of Engineers into wasting taxpayer $$$ to] build a big berm around the volcano to contain the lava. Problem solved, just like the Gulf!
The Secret Service didn't want to take the chance of staying through Ash Wednesday.
But the Lizard People; they no likey the dark meat, so what gives? Maybe they're cooking Barry up to serve at the next National Day of Prayer and Hypicrisification Luncheon….It could happen!
This just in – Obama's morning shit was cut 5 minutes short by an incoming phone call from an unknown party.
I'm surprised the presidential entourage didn't extend its stay — compared to the tea partiers, a rain of fire and brimstone would probably be a refreshing break.
Countdown to Fox News airing a report on how much this accelerated timeline is costing the American tax payer in 3……2….
Lizard people, my ass. These are Vulcanologists at work here. That, or unrepentant Scientologists trying to break free.
But this violence wouldn't be performed by the most pacifist and logical of races, Vulcans.
This is good news for Rick Sanchez.
When he was a child, Obama made an erupting volcano science project, set up to erupt in the future, because he knew that decades later, he would overcome huge obstacles and odds to become POTUS, then travel to Indonesia for $200M/day and continue being an illegitimate president who wastes taxpayers' money.
Yep, he can make volcanos erupt but he still can't produce that Birth Certificate.
Relax, they surely brought along that $350,000,000 gold plated volcano umbrella the White House purchased last month.
I'm enjoying the fact that we have a President who doesn't routinely embarrass us overseas. I don't think he's even barfed on a single dignitary! (Barry – just avoid the sushi.)
Or the Halcion®.
Barry, throw the ring in. Just let it go!
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