GARBAGE PEOPLE  10:39 am November 9, 2010

Teabaggers Hate Government Trash Collection Now

by Jack Stuef

Look! It says 'Obama' on the box! Socialism!Teabaggers from Arizona are a special breed and are continually winning the craziest-Teabagger national championship, so it should come as no surprise that they have come out in full force against a town’s decision to hire one trash truck and start a curbside recycling program. This is socialism, of course, because a government hiring a crew of garbage men to pick up a city’s and its residents’ trash is a huge government intrusion that will destroy this country with the force of seven garbage Joseph Stalins. So the beleaguered town council had to sit through Teabaggers yelling at them in a five-hour public hearing and debate period.

On Thursday, a divided council approved a five-year contract with Allied Waste Services to be the single hauler and begin a recycling program. Residents currently can choose among five haulers and the town has no curbside recycling.

These Teabaggers are amateurs at being crazy. Where’s the outrage over the government limiting them to only FIVE garbage companies in the first place? That’s just as bad as being limited to one. Shouldn’t they be able to pay who they want to take away their trash? Shouldn’t they have the choice not to get rid of their trash at all? Shouldn’t they live in their piles of trash, because that makes them the most free? The top Teabaggers at the Gold Level already do this. It’s almost as if these local Teabaggers became rabidly angry over a particular issue they never gave any thought to, simply because somebody told them to. Imagine that!

And last week, a flier was circulated around Fountain Hills with an ominous icon and the phrase, “The Hills Will Have Eyes,” and that claimed the “Fountain Hills Green Police” checked residents’ garbage and recyclables, and as a result, “you are wanted for questioning.”

Perfect! Makes a lot of sense! They are winning the war on logic!

Councilwoman Ginny Dickey, who also supported the measure, said she felt that her motivations were especially questioned because she is the only Democratic council member and worked for seven years at the Arizona Department of Environmental Quality.

“It seems counterintuitive, but in order for this proposal to pass, I believe I had to downplay the benefits of recycling,” she said. “When ideology prevents rational discussion of a really pretty mundane topic, trash, there is no perspective. Everything is suspect, which paralyzes us.”

Are those the lyrics to “America the Beautiful”? They sound like the lyrics to “America the Beautiful.” [Arizona Republic via Gawker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 197 comments }

CapeClod November 9, 2010 at 10:45 am

There is a bit of a misunderstanding. The residents of Fountain Hills thought they were talking about white trash disposal. Understandibly, there would be objections.

Sheesko November 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

Exactly. Genocide, Stalin-style. But oh wait. Stalin went for the intellectuals and like that, right? Never mind.

genxr November 9, 2010 at 11:40 am

Hey, if you have a copy of Atlas Shrugged on your bookshelf next to Arguing With Idiots, that does make you an intellectual!

kenlayisalive November 9, 2010 at 11:31 am

Fountain Hills isn't the White Trash kind of morans, these are the full fledged Rich Educated morans. I believe Sheriff Joe keeps a home here as well.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 11:42 am

“Councilwoman Ginny Dickey, who also supported the measure, said … "It seems counterintuitive, but in order for this proposal to pass, I believe I had to downplay the benefits of recycling,” she said.

There's this book out there, "Arguing With Idiots" by Glenn somebody (I can't remember). I'm sure it has all kinds of good ideas for you, Ginny.

DustBowlBlues November 9, 2010 at 11:18 pm

One more thing they have in common with Oklahoma.

guangho November 9, 2010 at 10:45 am

They should have the freedom to wallow in their own filth but because teabaggers have no spines or guts chances are they will be receiving tax rebates and bailouts so that they can hire illegal Mexicans to haul the trash for them.

fuflans November 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

oh they have spines and guts. you just can't see the spines because of the guts.

WordSaladNation November 9, 2010 at 10:45 am

The Fountain Hills Tea Party posted this announcement on its website in advance of Thursday's meeting: "7 people will decide who will provide your trash collection services and take away your ability to choose that on your own. If you don't like government telling you what to do, show up at the meeting and voice your opposition. If it's not broken, don't let government try to fix it."

And if it is broken, whatever you do, don't put it out with the recyclables!

elviouslyqueer November 9, 2010 at 10:47 am

Stay classy trashy, Arizona.

Gopherit November 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

Oh, this won't just be Arizona. These freaks are fired up. Expect them at every zoning meeting and every holiday parade. Here we all thought they'd shut up for a while after the elections, but crazy like this stays with you forever.

slithytovesss November 9, 2010 at 10:47 am

"Shouldn’t they live in their piles of trash, because that makes them most free?
The top Teabaggers at the Gold Level already do this."

Aha. That explains the sudden increase in episodes of "Hoarders." Or whatever the hell that show is called with people living in their trash.

WordSaladNation November 9, 2010 at 10:48 am

Jersey Shore?

slithytovesss November 9, 2010 at 10:59 am

Softball.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 11:47 am

FREEEEEDUMB!!!!

schvitzatura November 10, 2010 at 3:05 pm

The first place you'll find is a sleaze-pit called Fountain Hills. Now if the earth doesn't swallow you up first, that place sure as hell will!

Crank_Tango November 9, 2010 at 10:48 am

Fuck Arizona, Texas, South Carolina, and oh yeah, Oklahoma too. And Florida, and, oh hell, fuck everybody.

Wallow in your own filth for all I care, just fuck off.

DahBoner November 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

Please tell us how you really feel.

V572625694 November 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Wait a minute, Oklahoma's okay again, now that the reinstated sharia law and a man can stone his wife when he wants to. That's freedumb!

wondering where i am November 9, 2010 at 5:54 pm

And get off of his lawn!!!!!

putchaonblast November 9, 2010 at 10:48 am

"Councilwoman Ginny Dickey, who also supported the measure, said she felt that her motivations were especially questioned because she is the only Democratic council member…"

Ah, moving closer and closer to outright tribalism. What's that political scient-anthropologists used to say about "primitive societies"?

OkieDokieDog November 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

First the Obama Socialists gave us health care, and now they want our precious trashes! Next they'll be wanting to edgykate owr chilen! When will it end?

HistoriCat November 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

Or take our precious bodily (waste) fluids!

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 4:43 pm

I suppose it will end when the government quarantines them when they start exhibiting early onset bubonic plague.

mookwrthwilson November 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

I for one welcome our raccoon overlords…

Advn2rgirl November 9, 2010 at 2:09 pm

And their delicious rabies. ::mmm, rabid slobber, mmm:::

emmelemm November 9, 2010 at 4:03 pm

This comment has an unusually highly thumb-up score. That's because it's awesome and WIN!

JackDempsey1 November 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

"Councilwoman Ginny Dickey, who also supported the measure, said she felt that her motivations were especially questioned because she is the only Democratic council member and worked for seven years at the Arizona Department of Environmental Quality."

Ginny Dickey is wrong. At least some of the opposition was motivated by her comical name. George Bush faced a similar problem.

refudiatedness November 9, 2010 at 10:50 am

You can take my garbage from my cold, dead hand.

fundamentallybroken November 9, 2010 at 11:50 am

If only it was that easy.

johnnymeatworth November 9, 2010 at 10:50 am

Now it can be told! Every man, woman and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about De-Evolution!

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm
SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Are we not men?

natoslug November 9, 2010 at 10:50 am

America needs to hire cartographers rather than use Google Maps, apparently. North Mexico Arizona is definitely on the wrong side of that eventual border fence.

revmod November 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

What makes you think the Mexicans would want them?

natoslug November 9, 2010 at 11:06 am

Okay, I'm willing to do a little gerrymandering and get Mexico onto our side of the fence . . . I was hoping they wouldn't notice if we left Arizona on their side.

CapeClod November 9, 2010 at 10:51 am

From the trash collector's perspective, it might be a bit of a challenge trying to decide what is the trash and what is the shit these people are just too lazy to pick up off their lawn.

bitchincamaro2 November 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

Don't Tread On Me Don't Step On My Shit!

ManchuCandidate November 9, 2010 at 11:52 am

Considering the lot of them ride Rascals. Bending over is the last thing they want to or can do.

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 2:09 pm

I swear the blightiest blighty blight houses in my neck of the woods are almost always inhabited by people with 'W'/Tea Party/various stupid conservative causes bumper stickers all over their cars.

Sgt_Biyatch November 9, 2010 at 10:51 am

From the article: "Peter Bardow, an opponent, said the issue isn't about politics, but about taking away his and other residents' right to choose their own trash hauler."

Wait, a sec….right to choose, right to choose…where have I heard that argument before?

CapeClod November 9, 2010 at 12:04 pm

That doesn't mean that women are allowed to to make decisions about their own body. That means that you have a constitutional right to choose the annonymous person who provides you a service at 4:30 in the morning while you are sleeping.

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2010 at 2:08 pm

IT'S A TRASHBAG, NOT A CHOICE!

CrunchyKnee November 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

MY RASCAL SCOOTER WON'T MAKE IT TO THE CURBSIDE WITH MY TRASH IN TOW!!!!111!1

YasserArraFeck November 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

The 'baggers' really like to hold on to their trash – as evidenced by their continued support of the Grifty MacSnowshoes up in AK.

metamarcisf November 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

Bumper sticker: "Choose Trash"

SayItWithWookies November 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

This Peoples' Uprising sponsored by the other four trash companies.

StillGoinGreen November 9, 2010 at 11:12 am

It really is just one of the other companies – WM (Waste Management), the sponsor of the WM Phoenix Open. They basically had a "Sopranos" style monopoly in the Phoenix area until AWS came to town with their fancy recycling trucks. Now, it is all out war. I sure wish the corporations could figure out how to shill the teatards for something POSITIVE for a change. Still waiting for green technology to be profitable, so it will also become "our MERKAN RIGHTS".

kenlayisalive November 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

Exactly. The Tea Party in all it's glory: Big Business winding up the morans instead of improving service to keep their market share.

It's the invisible hand (and loads of previously illegal campaign contributions) at work!

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

“When ideology prevents rational discussion…”

That pretty much sums up this last election. These next two years are going to be painful and a little bit stinky.

Allmighty_Manos November 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

I think its bullshit I'm stuck paying for government water. Where's the free market there? I should have the choice of multiple companies.

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:22 am

Drill a well.

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 11:46 am

They're coming after our wells, too. A private utility company is lobbying the hell out of the town board to make us all cap our wells and fill in our septic tanks in exchange for them hooking us up to their water and sewer system–for free!–and pay them a monthly fee for the rest of eternity. Sounds like a good deal, for them. Fuck you, Utilities Inc. (yes, that's their real name)

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Now that many places that shouldn't oughta are getting heavily populated, you're going to see more and more of this. Dungeness Valley just east of where I live used to be 600-acre farms and woodlots, now it's all 5 and 2 acre mini-ranchettes and residential divisions, each with it's own well+septic.

Oddly enough, strange things are happening to the water table.

wondering where i am November 9, 2010 at 6:00 pm

There is coliform bacteria in our well water. At first I thought they said chloroformed bacteria. No wonder I have been feeling lethargic recently.

GlowneyHouse November 9, 2010 at 5:42 pm

And I'm sick and damn tired of the local Police acting all high and mighty! There should be at least three more forces so I can choose one that enforces the laws I want enforced!

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

So some of these teabaggers want free market based trash collection, in addition to their support of free market firefighting. I for one approve of the wingnuts shifting to attack basic services that every fucking government in the world provides, because it shows how completely insane they are, I think free market policing will be next.

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2010 at 1:51 pm

They're doing the free market police thing in Iraq, that's really working out well.

Ancient_Hackery November 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

Didja know that *Hitler* personally laid out the garbage collection routes throughout Berlin?

It's just a slipper-banana-peel-slope until Obama starts specifying the pitch of the beep-beep tones on the garbage trucks backing up.

Serolf_Divad November 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

Well, this is an improvement. Not long ago Tea Party leaders were protesting the fact that they were required to take out the trash at all. After all, why should a man be forced to pay to have his diapers, liquor bottles and empty cigarette cartons hauled to a landfill when he's got a perfectly good landfill smack dab in his own back yard?

m_supercomputer November 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

There are places in the US where trash pick-up *isn't* handled by the city or county government? Good god, that sounds awful – you just know that in every neighborhood, there's at least one person that constantly 'forgets' to arrange it, and every one of his neighbors has to deal with the smell and, also, probably extra roaches.

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

That's the weird thing about the story; this place was trying to institute something that's part of the standard, basic local government package. How the fuck could they not already have had trash pickup like every other single location in this country?

JackDempsey1 November 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

Only private trash collection in many Philly, PA suburbs, including mine. Municipal services around here have to find some justification spelled out in Poor Richard's Almanac.

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 11:34 am

Where? I live in Philly, but have never heard of private trash collection before. It just seems insane.

JackDempsey1 November 9, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Wallingford

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:25 am

In my exurban paradise, there are three different companies to choose from, no city or county service. Also no water provided, so 700-ft deep water well. I'm proud to say that thanks to FDR, we do have electrical power.

Sheesko November 9, 2010 at 11:33 am

Sure. In the country, where I live, we have to haul our own trash and recyclables to the County landfill. The County sells the recyclables to companies that treat the stuff to transform into products (plastic soda bottles become Patagonia hoodies, etc.) and nobody has a problem with this. In the town that serves as the County seat, there is regularly scheduled trash/recyclables pickup. If you don't want the Town picking up your trash, you don't haul it out to the sidewalk. You stuff it in the back of your Lexus and drive it to the landfill like your country cousins, or you can hire some toothless schmuck to do it for you: American free enterprise at its very bestest. So can these T-slobs in Arizona. No one is taking away their choice. All their elected officials are doing is giving them one that will cost less per capita, result in lower toxic diesel emissions and keep their city cleaner. (Those toothless alternatives are famous for scattering debris, since they don't answer to any municipal authority for doing their jobs right, and the private citizens who pay them don't seem to care, as long as the debris isn't scattered on *their* driveways.)

fatoots November 9, 2010 at 11:40 am

We use the term "transfer station". It's more East Coast elitist than landfill or dump.

PsycWench November 9, 2010 at 11:52 am

We have the same arrangement. I would be perfectly happy to throw someone a few dollars a month to pick up the trash.

fatoots November 9, 2010 at 11:39 am

When I moved from Boston to this tiny hamlet I couldn't believe we had to hire a trash company! I too was trash-naïve. I just switched actually, because the last guy was cheap but unreliable. Yeah! Go Free Market! Whatever.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 12:11 pm

We have two private contractor trash companies in my town, they have assigned geographic territories.

When I first moved here, I was delighted when I found out the one that serves the boonies where I lived had recycling as well as trash pickup and happily paid my $37/month until I realized that hauling my trash to the end of my long driveway was hella more work than just packing it to work where we have dumpsters and recycling bins. Which I park next to every day.

I'm not a very good socialist, am I?

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2010 at 1:46 pm

We have a choice of 7 haulers in our suburb; 9 if you are a commercial sight. Honestly, we're really not big enough for that many. I supposed the idea is that competition will bring the price down but they’re all actually more than when I lived in the suburb a mile East that had only one choice. Monday is the pickup day and various trash trucks are all over the streets. Imagine the exhaust reduction from having just one hauler.

justkillmenow November 9, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Living in the country has pros and cons. Lower taxes, but we dig our own well, have a septic system and pay for trash hauling. But, I can burn my leaves and shoot my guns at will. And I'm a libtard. fucking awesome.

Advn2rgirl November 9, 2010 at 2:19 pm

We have two companies out in the country where I am, but only one offers curbside recycling. How the other guy stays in business is beyond me, because they're both $15/month, so why WOULDN'T you recycle? You can also save the $15 and carry your trash and recycling to the county dump for free. We have county water but a septic tank. You can burn leaves, shoot guns, and, in my district, your dog is not required to be on a leash. This is fun for Good Dogs but kinda scary dangerous for Bad Dogs Who Won't Come. That gummint is best which govuns least, an' whatnot.

HempDogbane November 9, 2010 at 10:55 am

Rush Limbaugh only uses products from virgin plastic. If Rush favors virgin why shouldn't these Teabaggers? This "recycling" you speak of sounds un-American.

HistoriCat November 9, 2010 at 11:57 am

So does this mean the trash collectors should be Costa Rican boys?

Badonkadonkette November 9, 2010 at 10:55 am

Calling these people retarded is an insult to retards.

TimeCubist November 9, 2010 at 10:57 am

First they came for my garbage, and I did nothing.

Negropolis November 10, 2010 at 3:13 am

So full of win.

freakishlywrong November 9, 2010 at 10:57 am

Why do I get the feeling that city councils and town halls are going to be a thing of the past? You know, for Freedumbs.™

Boredw/Gravity November 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

Mob rule with torches and pitchforks seems to becoming the norm.

V572625694 November 9, 2010 at 11:33 am

And the only way to protect your property rights will be with your guns. And we'll all be reduced to barter, hunting, and gathering. For freedumb!

genxr November 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

I was jes defendin mah property. A man works hard for his garbage, only to have big gubmint hault it away

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm

After being screamed at by Tea Baggers for over five hours, you know that someone on the city council is thinking "Fuck this, it isn't worth the 10 bucks a month."

etmarika November 9, 2010 at 10:57 am

AZ the state that keeps on giving.

freakishlywrong November 9, 2010 at 11:00 am

Some even likened it to "Obamacare" for garbage, calling it "trashcare."

No. I didn't make that up. We're doomed.

revmod November 9, 2010 at 11:03 am

Please please please let there be death panels.

genxr November 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

I think they got the wrong part of that compound word. It should be Obamarbage, or Obamacycling, or Obamawastedisposaltransferstation.

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 4:53 pm

I guess it's better than Garbagegate. Because the -gate thing has been played to death.

bitchincamaro2 November 9, 2010 at 11:01 am

Wait until they discover that by hoarding, they're composting by default. Their reactionary pin heads'll explode.

Sheesko November 9, 2010 at 11:37 am

For the win!

JoshuaNorton November 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

Teabaggers from Arizona are a special breed

As in "Special" Olympics, no doubt.

rocktonsam November 9, 2010 at 11:03 am

Has Ray Patterson been contacted about this trash issue?

neiltheblaze November 9, 2010 at 11:03 am

This fits in neatly with my mental image of Teabaggers generally: senile, drunk, and playing in their own poo. Only these fuckknobs can look at curbside recycling and see a plot to introduce socialism into their lives – though the post office, the public library and the federal highway system don't seem to trigger the same mechanism.

elviouslyqueer November 9, 2010 at 11:20 am

though the post office, the public library and the federal highway system don't seem to trigger the same mechanism.

Wanna bet?

neiltheblaze November 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

OK – now I'm gonna wait for the stories illustrating the 'bagger recognition of the evils of the post office and federal highway system, and then go get drunk for lunch.

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 11:33 am

Considering that UPS and FedEx won't deliver (or provide "logistics") to the unprofitable rural locations where most of the teabaggers live, I'd like to see them eliminate the Post Office then have to live with the repercussions.

fatoots November 9, 2010 at 11:45 am

We had to fight tooth and nail for a new library. The town meeting went until after midnight because the measure was last on the agenda. And I live in MA!

The burbs are getting very conservative here. The only reason Barney Frank won is because of Brookline and Newton, the big bedroom cities.

walterhwhite November 9, 2010 at 2:28 pm

The teabaggers want to know: what is this thing called a "public library"?

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 2:55 pm

I would bet that most baggers have no idea where their local 'li-bary' is, let alone know what it is.

Frymaster November 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

Please. If AZ weren't the economic, real estate, environmental, social and cultural cluster-up that it is, then something like this would be "news".

Shouldn't this get filed under "par for the course".

Psst, Lefty, progressives just took over the state of RI. Ran out just about every last old-school blue dog. New PVD mayor way more liberal than Cicilline. But the latter won CD1 and is gonna gay up our nation's capital just that little bit more. Our 'indy' governor is on board. (Gay marriage law by Valentine's Day. #scoreboard) Watch us for more fun stuff. If you're mobile, come on up…

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 11:05 am

The unincorporated municipality upon whose frontier I dwell did this last year, forcing residential delivery pickup of trash down our collective throats. If I show the tax guy receipts from the landfill, I get a pass on the billing. I've come up with a better solution, though. I put all my trash into a big orange bag and put it on the side of the highway and let the DOT take care of it, problem solved.

Sheesko November 9, 2010 at 11:42 am

Wow. Remind me to encourage you to NOT move to my state! You might not be aware that those orange bags represent the hard work of private citizens helping to keep their "adopted" roadway clean. The DOT only comes by to pick up the bags on a schedule that coincides with the volunteer group that did the work. Your bags could easily sit there for a year — or more, if no one has adopted the stretch of road where you dump your trash. I strongly urge you, fellow Wonketeer, to rethink your position on this. No hard feelings, 'kay?

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm

One, this is Wonkette, I was trying to bring teh funny.
B, if I did do that thing I alluded to, I would take it across the state line, which is way closer to my home than the landfill.

I spent most of my working life with the DOT, and also in a civic group with an Adopt-a-Highway section, so I am aware of all traditions…

Gopherit November 9, 2010 at 11:06 am

Oh, Maricopa County. Could there be any other place in the world where people would feel their liberties trampled by having to separate their recyclables from their trash?

"Two containers to take out on trash day? I say never! The founders would fight this commie plot to the DEATH."

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 9, 2010 at 11:51 am

Insert Sheriff Joe/pink underwear joke here.

finallyhappy November 9, 2010 at 12:21 pm

only 2 containers!!! I have 4 containers- garbage/trash, paper recycling, plastic/glass/aluminum recycling and yard waste(leaves/grass)- but I live in seriously democratic Mont. county, MD

GunTotingProgressive November 9, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Well, up the hill here in Yavapai county, the city stopped taking glass at all. Used to be they would not take glass curbside, so I had to haul it to the transfer station. October 1 they got rid of the glass containers, so now any glass goes straight into the landfill. Pisses me off, because the beer selection in cans is minimal (but getting better), I can't bring myself to drink box wine, and forget about Scotch in plastic!

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 3:03 pm

What's sad is that glass is way less horrifying earth-destruction-wise and I would imagine that the decision to not allow glass in people's flotsam is probably encouraging purchase/use of more plastic containers. Go America! Keep rapin' the planet. WTF

Failed_2_Menace November 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

First they came for the recyclables, and I didn't speak up, because I leave all my non-refundable bottles in the bottle room at my local Safeway after unsuccessfully running them through the machine ten times while others wait to use it.

They they came for the trash, and I didn't speak up, because some really stinky diapers festered in the heat and made me gag every time I lifted the lid off of the can.

metamarcisf November 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

There's is nothing in the Constitution that says government can dictate what you can do with your rubbish. In fact, the First Amendment states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of trash collection, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of garbage disposal…or the right of the people to peacefully throw beer cans out of the windows of a moving vehicle." When will we start READING our constitution?

Bluestatelibel November 9, 2010 at 11:14 am

Damn, you beat me to it. Nicely done.

spooked911 November 9, 2010 at 12:12 pm

yeah, but it DOESN'T expressly say there is a separation between trash and state!

petehammer November 9, 2010 at 1:25 pm

(law students laugh, spooked911 smiles dumbly)

Gratuitous World November 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

Don't worry folks. By Sunday, Allied Waste Services will have 'settled all family business' with the other 4 trash families.

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 11:20 am

This worked out much better when everyone knew it was organized crime picking up their trash. You just don't fuck with a made garbageman.

SnarkoMarx November 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

Since gin was a very popular drink in Victorian England I'm assuming Ginny Dickey was a Dickensian verison of the modern-day affliction we call "whisky dick".

4TheTurnstiles November 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

These people just aren't happy unless they're pissed off about something they don't understand, like sanitation.

Resentment is a helluva drug.

CapeClod November 9, 2010 at 11:12 am

Why don't these idiots stop being coy and rename the place Fountainhead, AZ?

slowhansolo November 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

A courthouse. School renovations. Library funding. Road resurfacing. A high school football stadium. This kind of thing started a couple years ago 'round these parts.

fatoots November 9, 2010 at 11:56 am

Yeah, I actually replied to someone else, but it's basically the olds, who say, I ain't got no kids in the school anymore, why should I pay for it?"

Because you don't want to live in a shitty broken down town dickhead. Nice, town, nice schools, people move in. They spend money. More development. More revenue. Your fucking taxes go down.

We got a new library passed. Now they are already freaking out over needing to build new schools if too many people move here.

That's why we can't have nice things. Death Panels Dammit!

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Same reasoning Sharron Angle used–"I'm not having any more babbies, why should I pay for that?"

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Exactly the problem in my town. Largest concentration of retirees, who 'got theirs' and have nothing better to do than resent young people for being young and complain about money 'wasted' on education. They presume that because
I've never had kids and I'm near retirement age that I'd agree with them. But guess what? I don't want my town to be a shitball of poor schools, lousy public service and litter. Unfortunately, last year the olds elected the useless former state rep–a republican, surprise surprise–to mayor, so guess what's happening.

(They complain about this stuff but still manage to go to the casinos every month. Please Death Panels, hurry.)

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:15 am

Maybe they can get Barone Brothers Sanitation to pick up their shit.

Eve8Apples November 9, 2010 at 11:16 am

Wait 'til they find out a publically owned sewage treatment facilities. "What's the government doing with my poo?" "It's my God given right to pee wherever I damn well please!" "The Founding Fathers had to shit in their backyards. If it was good enough for them, it is good enough for you, you Messican communist hippie!!!"

Ducksworthy November 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

My gawd! I hadn't thought of that. Privatize the poo. For Freedom.

DashboardBuddha November 9, 2010 at 11:16 am

I just figured out a way to start getting story tips to run…I'll just follow the Arizona and Nevada papers all the time. Can't go wrong with 24/7 crazy.

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 11:56 am
Ducksworthy November 9, 2010 at 11:17 am

Somalia doesn't have not stinking government garbage collecting. Lets live free like the Somalians. Second amendment solutions!

Preferred Customer November 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

Oh, see, you already made the point that I made. I am behind the times. How is it that several of us here can all come up with the "move to Somalia" idea, but the only Americans that can come up with it aren't teabaggers, but are instead Al Qaeda recruits?

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

Afghanistan is better. They have more religion there.

Katydid November 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

They remind me of a bunch of truculent teenagers.

Mom to teenager: Would you like some pie?
Truculent Teenager: Fuck off and die.

EDIT: Or better yet:

Truculent Teenager: YOU'RE TAKING AWAY MAH FREEDUMBS!!!

donner_froh November 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

Peter Bardow, an opponent, said the issue isn't about politics, but about taking away his and other residents' right to choose their own trash hauler. "I feel like you're forcing homeowners-association regulation and homeowners-association enforcement on me," he said.

No, Peter Bardow, no matter how you feel it is forcing you and your ill-begotten ilk to follow rudimentary health and sanitation laws that have been in force for 60 years everywhere else.

chicken_thief November 9, 2010 at 11:56 am

Removing the freedom to choose less service at a higher price – I'd be fucking pissed too!

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Sums up the cable television industry perfectly.

HateMachine November 9, 2010 at 11:19 am

I love how, when we say that libertarian small-gov fucktardery is dumb because basic, essential services are part of that package, these creatures take a long, hard look at said services and conclude, "They'll have to go!"

widestanceroman November 9, 2010 at 11:21 am

There have not been nearly enough beheadings in Arizona.

WarAndGee November 9, 2010 at 11:22 am

Government will also decide where your turds will go and which fire trucks will arrive at your house. This is the tyranny the Founding Fathers warned us about.

I can't take it any more, I'm moving to Somalia. There is no government. I can carry my gun where I want when I want. It's ruled by God's laws, women know their place and justice is swift.

And best of all I can poop and in the street and there is no government to stop me. In fact it's encouraged.

Freedom is only a half a world away.

June_Cleaver2.0 November 9, 2010 at 12:46 pm

I wish I could click my heels three times and send all teabaggers to Somalia, because there's no place like home.

HELisforHEL November 9, 2010 at 3:29 pm

This is fabulous. May I nick it for my rants at the teatards I encounter?

DustBowlBlues November 9, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Are you the same as the June Cleaver on the "old" wonkette? Because your avatar looks nothing like I've pictured you, based on your funny but (mostly) profanity-free comments.

June_Cleaver2.0 November 10, 2010 at 5:46 am

I am the same June Cleaver 2.0. And yes, teabaggers can make you cuss.

DustBowlBlues November 9, 2010 at 11:33 pm

And there are no illegals, with or without their heads attached, who are cheating to get into Somalia and take advantage of all those jobs and get government services for free.

jim89048 November 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

4) ????
5) Profit!

JustPixelz November 9, 2010 at 11:25 am

They should also get rid of their other government run socialist services. Let each resident choose his or her own police department, fire department, restaurant inspectors, etc.

DangerHelvetica November 9, 2010 at 11:26 am

Wasn't there a Simpsons episode about this?

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:36 am

Since it's been on the air for 20 years, there's probably an episode about just about every subject conceivable out there.

genxr November 9, 2010 at 11:56 am

All the more reason to interrupt their protests with shouts of "Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!"

HistoriCat November 9, 2010 at 12:06 pm

There was a garbage episode but not really about choosing your garbage service. It was more on the lines of over-promising before the election and then being totally screwed afterwards by actually trying to turn a garbage collection service on those promises (Homer Simpson being the promising party, of course).

Not that any real world politician would ever be successful by making outlandish promises.

Jerri November 9, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Yeah but Homer only ran for the office because he didn't want to take the giant pile of trash in his yard in or follow some regulation. So he runs for Sanitation Commissioner in order to get things his way and then overpromises in order to actually get elected and winds up bankrupting the department. Ousted Sanitation Commissioner Ray Patterson is begged to come back into service, but tells Springfield to go fuck themselves as they've made their choice, they'll have to live with it. Rather than deal with the trash and the problems, Quimby relocates the town so they can start fresh.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0701277/

HistoriCat November 9, 2010 at 3:53 pm

NERD!!!!

Jerri November 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm

I don't know where you got that idea.

Preferred Customer November 9, 2010 at 11:28 am

You know where you have complete f'ing freedom to hire a trash company without government getting in the way? Somalia. That's where.

You can choose among any of the sharia/warlord/pirate trash companies you like. Actually, they choose you. And in addition to your trash, they take all your other stuff. And then they kill you. And then they leave your body buried in your trash.

Freedom from government oppression and municipal services! Freedom forever!

Texan_Bulldog November 9, 2010 at 11:31 am

My god–these stupid, stupid people. We should let them have their way & take away their EMS, fire dept, public schools (because you know they're too poor to afford private school), Medicaid/care, public roads, social security and see how long it takes for them to squeal about wanting their socialist government back. Ugh…I hate these people.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 9, 2010 at 11:56 am

Please, please, please!

Gorillionaire November 9, 2010 at 11:31 am

My first job after college was in a little shitbag town in NC about twenty three years ago. The town's landfill was overflowing and a very modest recycle program was proposed. It basically paid for itself, the private company picked up the stuff and sold it, for profit. This was not good enough for these people though. The local paper printed a letter damn near every day that called this "communism". People refused to participate and the recycle company wasn't picking up enough trash to sell profitably. So the town began shipping the garbage to another site many miles away at considerable taxpayer expense. Hooray for anti communism.

V572625694 November 9, 2010 at 11:35 am

You elitist collectivist city dwellers, having already ceded up all your freedumbs, don't realize that out in the country — Real America, that is — most people just drive their trash into town and leave it in the dumpster at the 7/11. Or if they're too drunk to make it that far, they just leave it down at the junction with Route Whatever.

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 11:43 am

Since when have rural teabagging folks ever let being too drunk stop them from driving anywhere?

V572625694 November 9, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Since they hit that mailbox on the concrete-block post down at Cletus’ place.

north_of_moscow November 9, 2010 at 11:35 am

"… and I'm sick of all those federal Park Service thugs sucking at the government teat, telling me I can't dump my old mattresses in the Grand Canyon. . ."

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:42 am

"…when we all know that Ranger Smith's mandate is to protect the pic-a-nic baskets of the citizenry from a certain ursine and his sidekick."

Hey there Boo-Boo!!

kenlayisalive November 9, 2010 at 11:36 am

I'm assuming that this probably was a cheaper option for trash pick up, plus with the added efficiency of adding the recycling service? So are the teabaggers saying they'd rather pay higher taxes to have this choice between 5 inefficient trash companies?

What are you saying teabaggers? Can you please, please make a coherent…anything?

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 9, 2010 at 11:58 am

What price do you want to put on FREEDUM!!!1!

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 11:38 am

One man's trash is another man's teabag.

Mindblank November 9, 2010 at 11:39 am

This is merely Teabagger trash-talking.

MistaEko November 9, 2010 at 11:42 am

We are taking our tetanus infections back!

SorosBot November 9, 2010 at 11:46 am

Apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what has the socialistic government ever done for us?

ttommyunger November 9, 2010 at 11:50 am

Is Arizona contagious? Oh right, I live in Georgia. We just elected Felon-to-be Nathan "Shady" Deal as our Gubbener. Too late.

DahBoner November 9, 2010 at 11:52 am

The Arizona trailer trash contingent feel great emphathy towards their fellow trash.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 9, 2010 at 11:53 am

My god, not one, but two tea baggers in one place. I looked at the google and the "town" is just a subdivision waaay out in the middle of nowhere. Can't we just build a fence around them and let them go feral?

GunTotingProgressive November 9, 2010 at 12:38 pm

They would never outcompete the wild mustangs and burros in the desert.

chicken_thief November 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

I bet the regular "Tea Party" was really kicking themselves that they didn't add the "Patriot" first…

HistoriCat November 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Splitter!!

mavenmaven November 9, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Then, when all of society is wrecked, they will want a Strong Leader who can fix all that's wrong with Merka and why its not the way they remembered it via Coke ads from the 70s.

Gleem_McShineys November 9, 2010 at 2:30 pm

You mean Brawndo ads.

widestanceroman November 9, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Teh Contstancetwoshuns says they should pile all trash up in their front yards as Victory Dumps, showing one and all their patriotism and ideological purity.

finallyhappy November 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm

There must be 5 separate comments about Somalia. Is Somalia in the news again? I try to avoid real news because it depresses me and I don't want to start the Cymbalta again.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 1:53 pm

No, we just love to point out here that the beautiful, sunny haven of Somalia is the result of Libertarian ideals put to practice.

And that hell-holes like Copenhagen or Paris are prime examples of the dangers of teh Socialiszms.

problemwithcaring November 9, 2010 at 12:37 pm

I wonder: Are we approaching the outer limits of what old fat entitled white people with internet can wrest into an anti-government tirade or are we just scratching the surface?

sati_demise November 9, 2010 at 12:41 pm

jeebus….live in Arizona & I dont have recycling and I want it.
Have to drive my recycle trash ten miles and sneak into the local college to dump recyclables.

this has turned me into a common criminal. My truck is packed with cardboard and glass bottles for a midnight run as we speak.

June_Cleaver2.0 November 9, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Let's just hope that all Americans who have not been driven crazy by these teabaggers in 2012 go out and vote.

hagajim November 9, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Is it just me – or did the entire State of Arizona fall off into "HOLY SHIT WE ARE BATSHIT CRAZYLAND" about 8 months ago….I wonder if the garbage police are spiking the water with Four Loko or something….nah I guess that would just make em all puke and pass out.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2010 at 1:20 pm

You all laugh, but this is how Sarah Palin came to rule the world, a growing Wasilla was absolutely DISGUSTED at the thought of hiring others to haul their own trash. For Libertarians, it was unAlaskan. For the Evangelicals, it was UnGodly! Apparently, for the Teabaggers, it is UnAmerican.

Fellow council member and former High School mate Nick Carney had the gall to propose an ordinance giving his own company the city contract for garbage removal. In Johnson's telling, it was the first time Palin bravely spoke truth to power: "'I said no and I voted no,' Sarah said. 'People should have the choice about whether or not to haul their garbage to the dump.'" Johnson writes that Palin's vote made Carney into a "political enemy"–the first of many, it turns out.

The episode might serve as a compelling, if small-bore, example of Palin's reformer instincts. Except that, according to those who were present, Carney wasn't quite the crooked trash magnate Palin makes him out to be. For one thing, Carney couldn't have proposed the ordinance because he'd recused himself from the matter. The council, in fact, had asked him to appear as a kind of expert witness on the relevant rules and regulations. "I looked at it as we actually had an expert on the council sharing the information," recalls Laura Chase, a fellow councilwoman. "Not … conspiring over a contract. There was no way that was happening."
http://www.tnr.com/article/barracuda

gurukalehuru November 9, 2010 at 1:20 pm

Actually, waste disposal is a large problem nationwide which does not receive nearly the consideration it should.
I hereby propose a solution for the nation's waste problem: Arizona

BaldarTFlagass November 9, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Well, you could sure pack a few cubic yards into the Grand Canyon, smoothe out the land surface a bit too.

GeorgiaBurning November 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Certainly lots of room for that nuclear waste dump.

DustBowlBlues November 9, 2010 at 11:36 pm

Better idea than dumping it in my creek, where the trash around here like to toss their trash.

Gnatsum November 9, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I used to live on the edge of town, but outside city limits, so white trash liked it just fine. There was a house down the street made of hay bales, I am not kidding. Anyhoo, our horrible mean gross neighbor across the street would alway be pissed off beccause dogs would keep coming in his yard. He'd be screaming and threatening violence. He refused to pay for trash pickup, so he would save his garbage for months until he finally would haul it off somewhere — a feature the neighborhood dogs apparently found very attractive.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 2:12 pm

The head of our local zoning and development commission very nearly lost his seat this election because he enforced the no-junkers law which limits the number of dead and disassembled cars you can have in your front yard. His mistake was touting how happy neighbors the neighborhood was when the city removed a total of 30 tons of dead cars and garbage from one freedom-loving 'murican's yard (along with the thousands of rats living in the trash pile).

The lady who almost beat him (middle name "Roark" prominently displayed on her signs) was quoted as saying about the neighbors, "If they don't like it, they can move."

notreelyhelping November 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm

*knock* on the door.

"Yes? Hello?"

"Yes, ma'am. I working with the sanitation crew, and I have to ask you question."

"Yes?"

"About this bust of Lenin we found in your recyclables…."

Crank_Tango November 9, 2010 at 3:00 pm

I prefer the People's Front of Judea, thank you very much.

MinAgain November 9, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Ginny Dickey needs to get the hell out of Arizona while she still can.

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm

The Red Cross is soshulism! Communists is Red!

xzargo November 9, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Teabaggers just need to get laid.

DustBowlBlues November 9, 2010 at 11:21 pm

There was a time when I said that I was grateful for Louisiana and Mississippi because they kept Oklahoma from being the stupidest state. Now I think it's Arizona but, hey–the zombie Imams can still get them, unlike the sharia-proof Dust Bowl.

schvitzatura November 10, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Espera Oscar de Corti wept…

keepintime1592 July 16, 2011 at 3:43 am

Those aren't eyes the hills have. They're hefty bags. Bajillions of 'em. No, something's moving… The hill IS hefty bags! That's settles it. Just TRY and keep Palin from parkin' her trailer home there now. Thanks Arizona!

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