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Good night, stalker prince.THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA LIVES! Michigan assistant attorney general Andrew Shirvell has now been fired by Republican state Attorney General Mike Cox (the guy who previously defended this as an important First-Amendment right) for “harrassing” a college kid because he was in the student government and gay. Sorry, he was in the student government AND A GAY NAZI. So this is a good thing, him finally being fired! Yes, Cox’s dumb administration is already on its way out to make way for a new state attorney general, but it’s good that action has been taken against Shirvell so that children can now point at him on the street and make fun of him for getting fired. Also “fun”: this Shirvell douche called Nancy Pelosi to try to get her to “fire” this college kid.

Yeah! Good plan! That’s probably something the House Speaker can do!

Cox said Shirvell engaged in his campaign against Shirvell on company time and posted attacks on Armstrong on the Internet while at work.

“Finally, Shirvell lied to investigating assistant attorneys general on several occasions during his disciplinary hearing.”

Yes, sure he lied, but he was telling the truth about this college kid being a gay Nazi! Honest! The kid ALWAYS has an angry Nazi face and uniform when Shirvell has wet dreams about him.

Armstrong’s attorney, Deborah Gordon, issued a statement this afternoon in which she said the AG’s office made the correct decision. Gordon and Armstrong have filed complaints with the Michigan Grievance Commission, asking it to investigate Shirvell and possibly disbar him.

Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit. [Detroit Free Press]

  • kenlayisalive

    With one option left to make a living: 100% Heterosexual airport bathroom dick taster.

    And don't just zip up and leave folks, Andy works for tips now.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Closeted dumbass is closeted. (And a dumbass)

    • PsycWench

      He must be pretty unattractive if men are only willing to put the tip in. Teeth too scary?

    • DashboardBuddha

      Tips? He's doing toilet-stall circumcisions too? Truly he is a full-service douchebag.

  • PsycWench

    I hope to God the Michigan State Attorney General's office has come up with an application process in which checking off "yes" to "I am a closeted immature douchebag" is a deal-breaker.

    • One_who_wanders

      Let's be frank the man has a law degree from Regent U, so the immature theocratic douchebag is sort of a given.

      • PresBeeblebrox

        The fact that Regent, Liberty, and Ave Maria all have ABA-accredited law schools is proof that the ABA sucks salted rat dicks and is basically a accreditation mill. How many accredited law schools are there in the US again? (Answer: Too fucking many.)

        • donner_froh

          Or: How many fronts for insane religious zealotry that call themselves law schools are accredited by the ABA? (Answer: Most of them)

    • tcaalaw

      How would they staff the office if they applied rigorous screening like that?

  • bumfug

    Ya know, if PeeWee Herman had a law degree and was jackin' it to GAY porn…

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Ten seconds into Anderson's Cooper with this guy and you know Shirvell is a seriously self-loathing closeted gay man. What a craptacularly pathetic piece of shit. Life must have been (and now will be) sheer hell for the Armstrong kid now that there's no longer a leash on Shirvell, though. Someone should lay a leetle Dee-troit muscle on Shirvell for the good of the nation.

    • Jukesgrrl

      How about a Youngstown Tune-up? Then he won't have a car as well as a job.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I guess it's back to "researching" gay porn for Andy.

    • V572625694

      It's a "dirty" job, but somebody's got to do it, heh heh.

    • Mindblank

      He's always looking for 'suspects'.

  • WordSaladNation

    "Cox Clocks Shirvell"

    • gullywompr

      Cox release: shrivel sacked.

  • x111e7thst

    Fucking closet case Repukes. We have to have endless retarded wars and no healthcare because they are having trouble coming to terms with the fact that they really really want a beautiful college kid in a Nazi uniform to shove his huge dick down their throats.

    • PresBeeblebrox

      Hm. This photo kind of expresses that yearning, amirite?

      • jim89048

        Buster Bluth?

    • xzargo

      …because they are having trouble coming to terms with the fact that they really really want a beautiful college kid in a Nazi uniform to shove his huge dick down their throats…

      Please, can I be a Republican?

  • Crank_Tango

    Shit, this reminds me that I am going to need to pick up a new homosexual agenda for 2011. I just hope there won't be any islamofascist scheduling conflicts…

    • PsycWench

      but you just KNOW the colors will clash with your militant muslim credenza.

    • Katydid

      Yeah, the commie Marxist agenda is so 2008. Plus the colors are better with the homosexual agenda. Good choice.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Utterly off-topic, I just read a statement from some random Demo "political consultant" that DiFi is planning to run again. I sure hope not, because it would break my string of voting straight D at 42 years.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Tell you who could walk into it is Villaraigosa. Even with his lady-issues. Him in the senate, Newsom as Gov., selling Riverside County to Arizona. Good times.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Oh, yeah. Bring on Riverside County. We'll have some more customers for our meth.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Be careful what you ask for, they're pretty good at cookin' and might bring in some unwanted competition. This is America you know.

    • LetUsBray

      Ugh, Ben Nelson in drag, an twice as old?

  • miss_grundy

    Yep, he's probably a closet gay man who suffers from supreme self-loathing. When he finally comes out, most of Michigan will yawn and say, "we already knew you were, bud."

    • sati_demise

      Then he will just have to go get cured of the gay, wont he?
      And then fall off the wagon.
      Get cured.
      Fall off.
      etc ad infinitum

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Hey, everybody needs a hobby.

  • ifthethunderdontgetya

    Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit.

    I predict he's a shoe-in for a job at one of Macho Andy Breitfart's sites. BigSelfDenyingHomos, or some such.

    • Jukesgrrl

      • GOPCrusher


  • Come here a minute

    The Daily Show gets another scalp — there's almost as effective as Breitbart!

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      Actually, that would be the Colbert Bump.

      • Come here a minute

        My apologies for failing to provide a citation. I forgot about the segment on the Colbert Report where, rather than receiving the Colbert Bump™, Mr. Shirvell was NAILED.

    • Chet Kincaid

      Anderson Cooper is glaring in your direction.

  • el_donaldo

    Gay Or Nazi Attorney Detective. G.O.N.A.D.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Shirvell gets hired for a couple of million as a "FOX News Contributor" in 3, 2, 1….

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Yes, sure he lied, but he was telling the truth about this college kid being a gay Nazi! Honest! The kid ALWAYS has an angry Nazi face and uniform when Shirvell has wet dreams about him.

    Shirvell had dreams of Armstrong running for Congress as a Republican from Ohio?

  • the_problem_child

    "Cox said Shirvell engaged in his campaign against Shirvell on company time and posted attacks on Armstrong on the Internet while at work."

    That's gotta be some kind of cock-block joke.

    • Chet Kincaid

      That AG office clearly has a glory hole in the firewall.

  • refudiatedness

    The gay mafia managed to Shirvell some Cox. Usually they do just the opposite.

  • weejee

    Iffin' Andy would be a MAN and admit that he's ghey, his dick would stop with the Shirvellin'.

    • Radiotherapy

      weejee, how about the Owl tilting the "p" ball machine on the "Shrub in a jar" thread? Plus 190 and rolling. Monu-fucking-mental!!1!

      • weejee

        Way over the top. And right after he retired PH from no feeding the trolls. Our feathered friend is no one note blogger.

  • Radiotherapy

    Imagine how much he hates Ohio State gays.

    • weejee

      There are Buckeye gheys? Who knew? Musta happened after Woody Hayes passed.

      • Radiotherapy

        Was James Thurber ghey???!?
        KO likes him.

      • CapnFatback

        Brutus is a total bottom. And you should see his Bucknutz.

  • EdFlintstone

    This is the only guy whose closet has an echo.

  • WarAndGee

    To many twists and turns Jack, all I got out of all that was something about "cox."

  • Texan_Bulldog

    This is a grown man stalking & harassing a college kid. I mean what man would spend one minute doing this unless the college kid knocked up his daughter, had sex with his wife or killed his dog? (None of which occurred.) I truly don't get it–he is one seriously disturbed fellow.

    • Not_So_Much

      Simple, the college kid ignored his clumsy advances and voodoo didn't work either. Had no other options, really.

  • gijoeice

    At least he can fall back on a career in public service announcements

  • DaSandman

    I hardly ever think about college COCK!!!!!

    Help me Jeebus!

  • seppdecker

    Will he get a job carrying luggage for Tony Perkins on his fabulous European vacations? Does Jeff Gannon need a cub reporter? Ken Mehlman put out any want ads for "manservant" at his trendy New York pad?

    The world is Andrew's oyster. It's very, VERY non-phallic oyster.

  • jim89048

    Why isn't Rachel all over this thing? Comedy Central did it last week.

  • Pragmatist2

    Come on. Admit it We are all thinking the same thing:
    This guy Shirvell is soooo gay!


    That closet is going to be one hell of a mess once Shirvell comes out of it.

  • fuflans

    poor little rat.

    there was that brief fab moment at the end of the jason jones interview when shirley knew he'd been had – and was done.

    i love that shit.

  • user-of-owls

    Tomorrow, on Fox News:

    Free Skeezy!

  • Not_So_Much

    Andrew will be fine. He'll put on a cute little dress and some darling, strappy shoes and find some other, dirty, naughty, broad-chested young stud to treat him like the filthy-mouthed little whore that, not very deep down, he's always known he is…

  • PublicLuxury

    Shirvile probably made a pass at Armstrong and was rebuked. Rebuked I tell ya. So Shirvile had to smite the infidel.

  • FlipOffResearch

    Michigan! Love the country,loathe the people. Mittendwellers.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Michigan is just another victim of global warming. There are islands of sanity, but the sea is rising around them.

  • HistoriCat

    "Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit" – worst Law and Order spin-off ever. Except for L&O Los Angeles.

    • Chet Kincaid

      I dunno. Same shit, different coast.

  • SayItWithWookies

    How admirable that the AG managed to fire a guy who stalked and harassed a private citizen for being gay on state time. The fact that it took him a mere two months to figure out how execrable that type of behavior is goes to his credit — if such a fair-minded person were the current pope, maybe tens of thousands of abused children would be able to see some justice. If The LORD saw fit to extend human life expectancy by a thousand years or so.

    • PsycWench

      That's pretty much what I was thinking…there must have been some serious lawyering going on in those 2 months b/c all of this evidence was apparent at the time of the initial accusation.

  • Clancy_Pants

    Hey Shirvell! Turn up the volume on your computer and click here!

  • ttommyunger

    This pathetic twerp will be fine. These Rightard Closet Queens always land on their knees.

  • neiltheblaze

    Wow – it took CNN less time to fire Rick Sanchez.

  • Jukesgrrl

    How about a show on The "Learning" Channel for Shirvell and XtineOD? They could work each other up into a total lather and that would end with a whimper, instead of a bang. At least we wouldn't have to worry about them making eight babies.

  • mrblifil

    After all this fooferaw, there won't be too many dudes interested in investigating this guy's unit, knowwhamsayin'?

  • Dr_pangloss

    It's like this guy was the Michigan AG's Rumfeld, it's now safe to fire him after the election.

  • comrad_darkness

    Armstrong sure judged this loser correctly when he dissed him at that gay party that one time. (What, that's not what happened??)

  • DCHatesMe

    Andrew should do what most closeted gay men do. Become a professional wrestler.

  • Beowoof

    Come on this all about the college kid not wanting to fuck this guy. However, a side benefit he does now know where to find all the young college gay dick he can swallow.

  • Negropolis

    Cox tried everything like hell to keep this guy on, but even that rapid Republican couldn't tar paper over the steaming pile of shit that is obviously closet-cased Andrew Shirvell.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, wait for more crazy shit to come out of Michigan in the next few years. The GOP held both the AG and SoS offices, held the state senate, and won back the state house, supreme court and governors office. Ugh.

    The only good news is that the new governor is pro-city, pro-transit, anti-death penalty, pro-environment, pro-stem cell research, pro-civil unions Republican. So, he's part of the rare and elusive moderate Republicans that's all but extinct in this nation.

    • Dr_pangloss

      The Brigadoon of Republicans.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    I feel a little bit like a whining Huffposter, but 5ish hours ago I posted two comments, right after the other. And they were both there on the comment thread, shining like Meg Whitman's forehead.

    One of them was about Dianne McFuckstein running for Senator yet again, which is gonna kill my "life-long Democrat" string, and it's still there.

    The other suggested that the real reason Shrivell got axed was that he insisted on showing his jarred fetus collection to the investigators. That one appears to have gone to jarbara heaven. Why, Karen, why?

    • easynewz

      There are no comments on Wonkette.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        I knew that. In fact, I've non-made that non-comment.

        • transfatz

          Shit, I was about to step on your non-comment because I didn't see it. Now I won't.

  • Terry

    Ken Mehlman could do us all a favor and call guys like Andrew to have a little heart to heart chat.

  • Anthr_DCLwyr3d

    Said it before and I'll say it again…."Closet. Case."

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Some prison time might help him to "find himself".

  • P_Drizzle

    Alt.headline: Buster Bluth Sent Home to Nurse His Juice Box.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Seriously sounds like Andy was trying to Troopergate this ignominious student leader who was teh gay. I'm sure we'll see him pop up in SarahPAC next filing as some sort of consultant. She appreciates abusing high-powered, well funded offices for personal vendettas.

    Cox shriveled Shrivell.

  • finallyhappy

    We have openly gay legislators here in Maryland- so if a guy like this existed here- he'd be gone before it hit the papers. Our latest political news is dishonest robocalls by the GOP on election day mainly to black democrats telling them not to vote- but that is hardly news- is it?

    • GOPCrusher

      That's S.O.P.

  • hagajim

    "Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit."

    Not true – he can work for Fix News or the Politico.

  • Gopherit

    With Shirvell on the job, no toilet stall will remain uninvestigated. For freedumb.

  • jus_wonderin

    I know I am late to this party. I will simply say "Cox Shrivell"

  • josemedinajr

    Hehe.. "Cox."

  • xzargo

    Two words, three syllables: Punish Fuck

  • Sue4466

    When he was on The Daily Show it was galling to watch him complain about being targeted on the internet for the shit he was doing to this kid. He seemed completely disconnected from reality (seemed, because he is) and thought it made perfect sense to argue both that what he was doing was free speech and that the responses he was receiving were some kind of harassment. The GOP double standard is just breathtaking sometimes.

  • onsitestudios

    This guy needs to be DISBARRED. He's ripe to become the next Roy Cohn. I can see it now: Andrew Shirvell hovering over Michele Bachmann's shoulder as she holds hearings for people espousing "un-American ideas".

    The United States already experienced an assault on liberty with the McCarthy hearings in the 50s. We don't need to go back to that again….EVER.

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