GANDHI GOT FIRED TOO  8:22 pm November 8, 2010

Michigan Gay-Student Stalker Andrew Shirvell Finally Fired

by Jack Stuef

Good night, stalker prince.THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA LIVES! Michigan assistant attorney general Andrew Shirvell has now been fired by Republican state Attorney General Mike Cox (the guy who previously defended this as an important First-Amendment right) for “harrassing” a college kid because he was in the student government and gay. Sorry, he was in the student government AND A GAY NAZI. So this is a good thing, him finally being fired! Yes, Cox’s dumb administration is already on its way out to make way for a new state attorney general, but it’s good that action has been taken against Shirvell so that children can now point at him on the street and make fun of him for getting fired. Also “fun”: this Shirvell douche called Nancy Pelosi to try to get her to “fire” this college kid.

Yeah! Good plan! That’s probably something the House Speaker can do!

Cox said Shirvell engaged in his campaign against Shirvell on company time and posted attacks on Armstrong on the Internet while at work.

“Finally, Shirvell lied to investigating assistant attorneys general on several occasions during his disciplinary hearing.”

Yes, sure he lied, but he was telling the truth about this college kid being a gay Nazi! Honest! The kid ALWAYS has an angry Nazi face and uniform when Shirvell has wet dreams about him.

Armstrong’s attorney, Deborah Gordon, issued a statement this afternoon in which she said the AG’s office made the correct decision. Gordon and Armstrong have filed complaints with the Michigan Grievance Commission, asking it to investigate Shirvell and possibly disbar him.

Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit. [Detroit Free Press]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 103 comments }

kenlayisalive November 8, 2010 at 8:27 pm

With one option left to make a living: 100% Heterosexual airport bathroom dick taster.

And don't just zip up and leave folks, Andy works for tips now.

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 1:06 am

Closeted dumbass is closeted. (And a dumbass)

PsycWench November 9, 2010 at 7:36 am

He must be pretty unattractive if men are only willing to put the tip in. Teeth too scary?

DashboardBuddha November 9, 2010 at 10:04 am

Tips? He's doing toilet-stall circumcisions too? Truly he is a full-service douchebag.

PsycWench November 8, 2010 at 8:27 pm

I hope to God the Michigan State Attorney General's office has come up with an application process in which checking off "yes" to "I am a closeted immature douchebag" is a deal-breaker.

One_who_wanders November 8, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Let's be frank the man has a law degree from Regent U, so the immature theocratic douchebag is sort of a given.

PresBeeblebrox November 8, 2010 at 9:05 pm

The fact that Regent, Liberty, and Ave Maria all have ABA-accredited law schools is proof that the ABA sucks salted rat dicks and is basically a accreditation mill. How many accredited law schools are there in the US again? (Answer: Too fucking many.)

donner_froh November 9, 2010 at 12:50 am

Or: How many fronts for insane religious zealotry that call themselves law schools are accredited by the ABA? (Answer: Most of them)

tcaalaw November 9, 2010 at 7:23 am

How would they staff the office if they applied rigorous screening like that?

bumfug November 8, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Ya know, if PeeWee Herman had a law degree and was jackin' it to GAY porn…

ph7 November 8, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Or Buster from Arrested Development

Mort_Sinclair November 8, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Ten seconds into Anderson's Cooper with this guy and you know Shirvell is a seriously self-loathing closeted gay man. What a craptacularly pathetic piece of shit. Life must have been (and now will be) sheer hell for the Armstrong kid now that there's no longer a leash on Shirvell, though. Someone should lay a leetle Dee-troit muscle on Shirvell for the good of the nation.

Jukesgrrl November 8, 2010 at 10:28 pm

How about a Youngstown Tune-up? Then he won't have a car as well as a job.

ManchuCandidate November 8, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I guess it's back to "researching" gay porn for Andy.

V572625694 November 8, 2010 at 11:25 pm

It's a "dirty" job, but somebody's got to do it, heh heh.

Mindblank November 9, 2010 at 6:24 am

He's always looking for 'suspects'.

WordSaladNation November 8, 2010 at 8:37 pm

"Cox Clocks Shirvell"

gullywompr November 8, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Cox release: shrivel sacked.

x111e7thst November 8, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Fucking closet case Repukes. We have to have endless retarded wars and no healthcare because they are having trouble coming to terms with the fact that they really really want a beautiful college kid in a Nazi uniform to shove his huge dick down their throats.

PresBeeblebrox November 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Hm. This photo kind of expresses that yearning, amirite?

jim89048 November 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Buster Bluth?

xzargo November 8, 2010 at 9:18 pm

…because they are having trouble coming to terms with the fact that they really really want a beautiful college kid in a Nazi uniform to shove his huge dick down their throats…

Please, can I be a Republican?

Crank_Tango November 8, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Shit, this reminds me that I am going to need to pick up a new homosexual agenda for 2011. I just hope there won't be any islamofascist scheduling conflicts…

PsycWench November 8, 2010 at 8:59 pm

but you just KNOW the colors will clash with your militant muslim credenza.

Katydid November 9, 2010 at 9:55 am

Yeah, the commie Marxist agenda is so 2008. Plus the colors are better with the homosexual agenda. Good choice.

ShaveTheWhales November 8, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Utterly off-topic, I just read a statement from some random Demo "political consultant" that DiFi is planning to run again. I sure hope not, because it would break my string of voting straight D at 42 years.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 8, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Tell you who could walk into it is Villaraigosa. Even with his lady-issues. Him in the senate, Newsom as Gov., selling Riverside County to Arizona. Good times.

Jukesgrrl November 8, 2010 at 10:31 pm

Oh, yeah. Bring on Riverside County. We'll have some more customers for our meth.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 8, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Be careful what you ask for, they're pretty good at cookin' and might bring in some unwanted competition. This is America you know.

LetUsBray November 9, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Ugh, Ben Nelson in drag, an twice as old?

miss_grundy November 8, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Yep, he's probably a closet gay man who suffers from supreme self-loathing. When he finally comes out, most of Michigan will yawn and say, "we already knew you were, bud."

sati_demise November 8, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Then he will just have to go get cured of the gay, wont he?
And then fall off the wagon.
Get cured.
Fall off.
cured.
fall.
etc ad infinitum

Lascauxcaveman November 9, 2010 at 1:11 am

Hey, everybody needs a hobby.

ifthethunderdontgetya November 8, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit.

I predict he's a shoe-in for a job at one of Macho Andy Breitfart's sites. BigSelfDenyingHomos, or some such.
~

Jukesgrrl November 8, 2010 at 10:32 pm

DouchebagDramaDivas.com

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 4:34 pm

NEEDZ MOAR BIG IN THE TITTLE!

Come here a minute November 8, 2010 at 8:50 pm

The Daily Show gets another scalp — there's almost as effective as Breitbart!

CrankyLttlCamperette November 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

Actually, that would be the Colbert Bump.

Come here a minute November 9, 2010 at 7:37 pm

My apologies for failing to provide a citation. I forgot about the segment on the Colbert Report where, rather than receiving the Colbert Bump™, Mr. Shirvell was NAILED.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Anderson Cooper is glaring in your direction.

el_donaldo November 8, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Gay Or Nazi Attorney Detective. G.O.N.A.D.

LionelHutzEsq November 8, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Shirvell gets hired for a couple of million as a "FOX News Contributor" in 3, 2, 1….

LionelHutzEsq November 8, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Yes, sure he lied, but he was telling the truth about this college kid being a gay Nazi! Honest! The kid ALWAYS has an angry Nazi face and uniform when Shirvell has wet dreams about him.

Shirvell had dreams of Armstrong running for Congress as a Republican from Ohio?

the_problem_child November 8, 2010 at 8:53 pm

"Cox said Shirvell engaged in his campaign against Shirvell on company time and posted attacks on Armstrong on the Internet while at work."

That's gotta be some kind of cock-block joke.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2010 at 2:16 pm

That AG office clearly has a glory hole in the firewall.

refudiatedness November 8, 2010 at 8:54 pm

The gay mafia managed to Shirvell some Cox. Usually they do just the opposite.

weejee November 8, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Iffin' Andy would be a MAN and admit that he's ghey, his dick would stop with the Shirvellin'.

Radiotherapy November 8, 2010 at 9:15 pm

weejee, how about the Owl tilting the "p" ball machine on the "Shrub in a jar" thread? Plus 190 and rolling. Monu-fucking-mental!!1!

weejee November 8, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Way over the top. And right after he retired PH from no feeding the trolls. Our feathered friend is no one note blogger.

Radiotherapy November 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Imagine how much he hates Ohio State gays.

weejee November 8, 2010 at 9:55 pm

There are Buckeye gheys? Who knew? Musta happened after Woody Hayes passed.

Radiotherapy November 8, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Was James Thurber ghey???!?
KO likes him.

CapnFatback November 8, 2010 at 11:51 pm

Brutus is a total bottom. And you should see his Bucknutz.

EdFlintstone November 8, 2010 at 9:08 pm

This is the only guy whose closet has an echo.

WarAndGee November 8, 2010 at 9:18 pm

To many twists and turns Jack, all I got out of all that was something about "cox."

Texan_Bulldog November 8, 2010 at 9:21 pm

This is a grown man stalking & harassing a college kid. I mean what man would spend one minute doing this unless the college kid knocked up his daughter, had sex with his wife or killed his dog? (None of which occurred.) I truly don't get it–he is one seriously disturbed fellow.

Not_So_Much November 8, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Simple, the college kid ignored his clumsy advances and voodoo didn't work either. Had no other options, really.

gijoeice November 8, 2010 at 9:22 pm

At least he can fall back on a career in public service announcements http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMrQGaQo29s

DaSandman November 8, 2010 at 9:22 pm

I hardly ever think about college COCK!!!!!

Help me Jeebus!

seppdecker November 8, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Will he get a job carrying luggage for Tony Perkins on his fabulous European vacations? Does Jeff Gannon need a cub reporter? Ken Mehlman put out any want ads for "manservant" at his trendy New York pad?

The world is Andrew's oyster. It's very, VERY non-phallic oyster.

jim89048 November 8, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Why isn't Rachel all over this thing? Comedy Central did it last week.

Pragmatist2 November 8, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Come on. Admit it We are all thinking the same thing:
This guy Shirvell is soooo gay!

HOFAH November 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm

That closet is going to be one hell of a mess once Shirvell comes out of it.

fuflans November 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm

poor little rat.

there was that brief fab moment at the end of the jason jones interview when shirley knew he'd been had – and was done.

i love that shit.

user-of-owls November 8, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Tomorrow, on Fox News:

Free Skeezy!

Not_So_Much November 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Andrew will be fine. He'll put on a cute little dress and some darling, strappy shoes and find some other, dirty, naughty, broad-chested young stud to treat him like the filthy-mouthed little whore that, not very deep down, he's always known he is…

PublicLuxury November 8, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Shirvile probably made a pass at Armstrong and was rebuked. Rebuked I tell ya. So Shirvile had to smite the infidel.

FlipOffResearch November 8, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Michigan! Love the country,loathe the people. Mittendwellers.

Angry_Marmot November 9, 2010 at 6:21 am

Michigan is just another victim of global warming. There are islands of sanity, but the sea is rising around them.

HistoriCat November 8, 2010 at 9:57 pm

"Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit" – worst Law and Order spin-off ever. Except for L&O Los Angeles.

Chet Kincaid November 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I dunno. Same shit, different coast.

SayItWithWookies November 8, 2010 at 10:12 pm

How admirable that the AG managed to fire a guy who stalked and harassed a private citizen for being gay on state time. The fact that it took him a mere two months to figure out how execrable that type of behavior is goes to his credit — if such a fair-minded person were the current pope, maybe tens of thousands of abused children would be able to see some justice. If The LORD saw fit to extend human life expectancy by a thousand years or so.

PsycWench November 9, 2010 at 7:37 am

That's pretty much what I was thinking…there must have been some serious lawyering going on in those 2 months b/c all of this evidence was apparent at the time of the initial accusation.

Clancy_Pants November 8, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Hey Shirvell! Turn up the volume on your computer and click here!

ttommyunger November 8, 2010 at 10:30 pm

This pathetic twerp will be fine. These Rightard Closet Queens always land on their knees.

neiltheblaze November 8, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Wow – it took CNN less time to fire Rick Sanchez.

Jukesgrrl November 8, 2010 at 10:36 pm

How about a show on The "Learning" Channel for Shirvell and XtineOD? They could work each other up into a total lather and that would end with a whimper, instead of a bang. At least we wouldn't have to worry about them making eight babies.

mrblifil November 8, 2010 at 10:42 pm

After all this fooferaw, there won't be too many dudes interested in investigating this guy's unit, knowwhamsayin'?

Dr_pangloss November 8, 2010 at 10:43 pm

It's like this guy was the Michigan AG's Rumfeld, it's now safe to fire him after the election.

comrad_darkness November 8, 2010 at 11:16 pm

Armstrong sure judged this loser correctly when he dissed him at that gay party that one time. (What, that's not what happened??)

DCHatesMe November 8, 2010 at 11:52 pm

Andrew should do what most closeted gay men do. Become a professional wrestler.

Beowoof November 9, 2010 at 12:21 am

Come on this all about the college kid not wanting to fuck this guy. However, a side benefit he does now know where to find all the young college gay dick he can swallow.

Negropolis November 9, 2010 at 12:47 am

Cox tried everything like hell to keep this guy on, but even that rapid Republican couldn't tar paper over the steaming pile of shit that is obviously closet-cased Andrew Shirvell.

Negropolis November 9, 2010 at 12:58 am

BTW, wait for more crazy shit to come out of Michigan in the next few years. The GOP held both the AG and SoS offices, held the state senate, and won back the state house, supreme court and governors office. Ugh.

The only good news is that the new governor is pro-city, pro-transit, anti-death penalty, pro-environment, pro-stem cell research, pro-civil unions Republican. So, he's part of the rare and elusive moderate Republicans that's all but extinct in this nation.

Dr_pangloss November 9, 2010 at 7:12 am

The Brigadoon of Republicans.

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2010 at 3:14 am

I feel a little bit like a whining Huffposter, but 5ish hours ago I posted two comments, right after the other. And they were both there on the comment thread, shining like Meg Whitman's forehead.

One of them was about Dianne McFuckstein running for Senator yet again, which is gonna kill my "life-long Democrat" string, and it's still there.

The other suggested that the real reason Shrivell got axed was that he insisted on showing his jarred fetus collection to the investigators. That one appears to have gone to jarbara heaven. Why, Karen, why?

easynewz November 9, 2010 at 4:56 am

There are no comments on Wonkette.

ShaveTheWhales November 9, 2010 at 5:47 am

I knew that. In fact, I've non-made that non-comment.

transfatz November 9, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Shit, I was about to step on your non-comment because I didn't see it. Now I won't.

Terry November 9, 2010 at 7:19 am

Ken Mehlman could do us all a favor and call guys like Andrew to have a little heart to heart chat.

Anthr_DCLwyr3d November 9, 2010 at 9:20 am

Said it before and I'll say it again…."Closet. Case."

Monsieur_Grumpe November 9, 2010 at 9:33 am

Some prison time might help him to "find himself".

P_Drizzle November 9, 2010 at 9:50 am

Alt.headline: Buster Bluth Sent Home to Nurse His Juice Box.

NorthStarSpanx November 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

Seriously sounds like Andy was trying to Troopergate this ignominious student leader who was teh gay. I'm sure we'll see him pop up in SarahPAC next filing as some sort of consultant. She appreciates abusing high-powered, well funded offices for personal vendettas.

Cox shriveled Shrivell.

finallyhappy November 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

We have openly gay legislators here in Maryland- so if a guy like this existed here- he'd be gone before it hit the papers. Our latest political news is dishonest robocalls by the GOP on election day mainly to black democrats telling them not to vote- but that is hardly news- is it?

GOPCrusher November 9, 2010 at 4:39 pm

That's S.O.P.

hagajim November 9, 2010 at 10:54 am

"Which would only leave Shirvell with one option to make a living: Andrew Shirvell, P.I.: Gay-Nazi Undergrad Investigation Unit."

Not true – he can work for Fix News or the Politico.

Gopherit November 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

With Shirvell on the job, no toilet stall will remain uninvestigated. For freedumb.

jus_wonderin November 9, 2010 at 4:09 pm

I know I am late to this party. I will simply say "Cox Shrivell"

josemedinajr November 9, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Hehe.. "Cox."

xzargo November 9, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Two words, three syllables: Punish Fuck

Sue4466 November 10, 2010 at 10:04 am

When he was on The Daily Show it was galling to watch him complain about being targeted on the internet for the shit he was doing to this kid. He seemed completely disconnected from reality (seemed, because he is) and thought it made perfect sense to argue both that what he was doing was free speech and that the responses he was receiving were some kind of harassment. The GOP double standard is just breathtaking sometimes.

onsitestudios November 10, 2010 at 12:11 pm

This guy needs to be DISBARRED. He's ripe to become the next Roy Cohn. I can see it now: Andrew Shirvell hovering over Michele Bachmann's shoulder as she holds hearings for people espousing "un-American ideas".

The United States already experienced an assault on liberty with the McCarthy hearings in the 50s. We don't need to go back to that again….EVER.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: