Young George W. Bush Traumatized By Barbara Bush’s Fetus Jar

  the notorious bfg

So did she take the pickles out first, or...Some people give lame reasons to be pro-life, but George W. Bush really has a pretty good excuse. While on his current “Say Anything To Get People To Buy My Book Nobody Would Read Otherwise” tour, Bush revealed to Matt Lauer the reason he dislikes abortion: His mother had a miscarriage when he was a teenager and liked to parade around her dead offspring in a jar. Holy hell, this family. “Junior, please pass sister fetus jar the mashed potatoes.” “Junior, please drive your brother the fetus jar to school.” “Junior, doesn’t your sister the fetus jar look beautiful in her prom dress? Pull her out of the goo and pin that corsage on her, wouldn’t you? Then give her a kiss goodbye. She’d best be going or she’ll be late!”

“She said to her teenage kid, ‘Here’s the fetus,’ ” the shockingly candid Bush told NBC’s Matt Lauer, gesturing as if he were holding the jar during the TV chat, a DVD of which The Post exclusively obtained.

“There’s no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life,” said the former president [...]

But “the purpose of the story wasn’t to try show the evolution of a pro-life point of view,” Bush insisted to Lauer.

It was to scare children on Halloween?

“It was really to show how my mom and I developed a relationship.”

Oh Lord, did the two of them have sex? This almost excuses the whole torture thing. [NYP]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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270 comments

    1. prommie

      Is yo eyes buggin'? Dats what always happen when the old black minstrel show man done see a sperrit or a spook.

  1. SecretMuslin

    Christ almighty – every detail of this story is horrendous.

    On a side note, it's such a shame for our planet and everything that inhabits it that Bar didn't miscarry one pregnancy prior…

  2. freakishlywrong

    “There’s no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life,”

    But only if it's a miscarried zygote in a jar. Once it's born? Meh.

    1. OC_Surf_Serf

      Oh, they seem to get re-interested about the time those zygotes are old enough to off to war…

  3. Bonzos_Bed_Time

    This is what passes for family bonding in Kennebunkport.

    On Maine license plates it says: Live free and pass the fetus jar!

    1. lochnessmonster

      That may be why he started drinking himself…what a screwed up family. That's exactly the kind of thing you should protect your children from. How's Babs taking this revelation he blurted out???

  4. WriteyWriterton

    After that, he couldn't drink enough, though he should have tried harder. For the kids, you know?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      She would have dropped it off in the Astrodome and told it this was the best thing that could ever happen.

  5. SheriffRoscoe

    If there's anything I would imagine that could turn a little boy gay, it would be his mother showing him a sibling's fetus in a jar. This story proves homosexuality is determined genetically.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    I hate to say this, but that is just fucking sick.

    I hope she didn't pull a Santorum and make him sleep with the jar on "her" birthday or something.

  7. Gopherit

    What's worse? The alcohol the fetus was preserved in made some musky jungle juice at his high school graduation party.

  8. Hidethematches

    What I'm waiting for is the heart warming family story that shed light on his high execution rate as Governor of Texas.

  9. neiltheblaze

    Yes – and when his sister died of leukemia in the hospital, instead of telling George his sister was dead, they brought him to the circus.

    The Bush family are rich, live in abject denial always, and are emotionally stunted and dysfunctional. A perfect American family.

    1. SorosBot

      Who could have expected the guy who invaded another country just to work out his daddy issues would be psychologically fucked up?

    2. PresBeeblebrox

      True that… but I actually have a grudging respect for George H.W., who was a WWII vet and all. I mean, shit, he got a nuclear aircraft carrier named after him for his WWII flyboy days. What will W have named after him – a garbage scow? A fleet oiler?

      1. neiltheblaze

        They named a sewage treatment plant after him somewhere in California if I remember right. Oakland maybe? Wherever it was, it's a place with a sense of humor.

  10. SorosBot

    Rick Santorum and his wife did something similar with their miscarriage, and like Bush here he liked to brag about it without realizing how completely creepy and sick that kind of behavior is. The forced birthers do not act like normal human beings.

    1. doxastic

      Yeah, this move has been used enough for politicking that my new standard is pics or GTFO. I want proof of this pickled baby.

    2. anniegetyourfun

      I think that was a baby who died after being born. I'm not saying it wouldn't be traumatic for a child, just that… you know, I mean, it was a fully formed baby and not a Fetus in a Jar.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        The Santorums have genetic problems. In 1996 Karen Santorum gave birth to a premature baby that they knew far in advance wasn't expected to live. That is the corpse they named and took home to "introduce" to the other children. In a book about the experience, Mrs. Santorum wrote that she slept overnight with the decedent before returning it to the hospital. Since then, they have had another severely disabled child, a girl with a genetic disorder known as Trisomy 18 that is fatal in 90% of cases. The six physically healthy Santorum children are home schooled, so no doubt they are present for all of the difficulties surrounding these health issues.

        1. anniegetyourfun

          I know all about the Santorum thingie, but it's not as uncommon as you think to to dress and hold the body of a dead baby, or even take pictures. It sounds gruesome to someone outside of the experience, but it does seem to be a part of the grieving and healing process for many families.

          I don't like Rick Santorum or anything he stands for, but I don't think that what they did was unusual for the circumstances.

    1. mereoblivion

      Believe it was Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, but first Poppy Bush (Larry Miller) made her wear the pregnant suit so she wouldn't let her date "do" anything.

  11. imissopus

    There’s no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life,” said the former president.

    Yes, nothing quite portrays respect for and dignity of life as much as a woman keeping her miscarried fetus in a jar.

    1. SorosBot

      Hell, now I'm surprised they didn't have the sister who dies as a teenager stuffed and mounted on the wall.

    2. glamourdammerung

      There’s no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life,” said the former president.

      Except for the colored and mentally disabled inmates on death row.

    3. Beowoof

      Really Barbara always impressed me as a woman for which a fetus in a jar was lunch. Was George pissed he didn't get any?

  12. SheriffRoscoe

    Has Wonkette ever been served up a better story, on a platter, in a jar, or otherwise? I can see the 'oh shit, nooo wayyyyy' look on our editor's face when this one came in.

    1. anniegetyourfun

      Gawker's had it up for well over an hour. What I'm kind of curious to see, but also don't wanna, is how the comments on the actual original story are going. I think it was in the NY post?

      1. anniegetyourfun

        Oh, well, here you go:

        Angela-in-Texas

        11/08/2010 2:36 PM

        Bush's refusal to criticize Obama says so much about his character, and contrasts strongly with Obama, who can't stop blaming Bush for all the problems that his liberal cronies in Congress started and he is now continuing. President Bush will always have my respect and gratitude for the way he handled himself during a very hard period. Obama on the other hand has done nothing but whine as he systematically destroys our economy.

        1. SorosBot

          President Bush will always have my disrespect for the way he handled learning about the 9/11 attacks, staring vacantly into space before resuming reading a children's book.

        2. glamourdammerung

          Bush has not really criticized Obama from what I have seen. Of course this is probably due to blaming Clinton for events as late as the last couple of months of Bush's second term.

    2. prommie

      No motherfucking way this really happened. He's done gone and blew his last screw, is whats up, he is fucking deranged. This Did Not Happen. This is like Reagan remembering when he fought in WWII.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        Conservatives aren't like us normal people, Prommie. They read the bible story about Abraham and Isaac, you know the one where dad almost guts and disembowels his son because the voice in his head told him to; and they're all like 'yeah I could see where I'd do that.' They're fucked up, deranged, whatever; but it DID happen buddy. It DID.

      2. Jukesgrrl

        Actually, this isn't even a new story. Like the reports of Laura Bush's responsibility for her boyfriend's death, it was reported years ago, although the MSM failed to follow up on it, choosing to imagine it had no bearing on the Bush family character and the voters wouldn't (shouldn't, more likely) be interested.

      3. mrblifil

        Bingo-lita. As much as I love the image of Babs rolling around on the bathroom floor elbow deep in the toilet scooping up bloody blobs of goo, it just doesn't go down like that. Plus Barbara Bush is pro-choice. So there's that.

  13. Native_of_SL_UT

    Barb put a fetus in a jar.
    I cannot wrap my head around that.
    I have read some weird shit on Wonkette before, but..Jesus, Barb put a fetus in a jar.

    1. the_problem_child

      Okay, I can see putting a fetus in a jar (shock & grief make people do weird & irrational things) but showing it to your teenage son? That's just fucked up.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        musha ring dumma do damma da
        whack for the daddy 'ol
        whack for the daddy 'ol
        there's fetus in the jar!

  14. uncuntstitutional

    That's right, Barb did her "abortion" the old fashioned way – with a bottle of beefeater and a jar of olives.

    Too bad she chickened out halfway with W., and we just got a fetal alcohol president instead of a fetus in a jar.

    1. Redhead

      I didn't think anyone could say anything that would top Barbara putting a fetus in a jar and carrying it around. You proved me wrong. Bravo.

      Though are we sure she miscarried, and didn't decide to abort the devil spawn of her and Dubya?

      1. uncuntstitutional

        Wouldn't that be a deep darksecret for the ages? The miscarried fetus was Jr.'s!

        Oedipus and Jocasta, except instead of stabbing his own eyes out, he murders a few million Iraqis

    2. magginkat

      Judging by the way Bush held his hands up to demonstrate the size of the jar, it must have been a late term abortion!

  15. Fare la Volpe

    You know, if there's anything that will drive a young boy to keep his mother's corpse in the fruit cellar and then stab pretty ladies while dressed in her nightie, it's this.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      If it were only the alcoholism and the coke habit, I'd have said W had dodged a bullet on this one. But … well, you know it all turned out.

      1. charlesdegoal

        Indeed. Those narrow eyes. The bragging. The utter disregard for reality. Explains a lot. No wonder he got all the crazies to vote for him – that's almost a majority right there.

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    Musha rain dum a doo, dum a da, heh, heh
    Whack for my daddy, oh
    Whack for my daddy, oh
    There's sister in the jar, oh, yeah
    Sister in the jar, oh

    1. 7pilesofwisdom

      You left out the verse: As I was walking from Beaumont down to Banning,
      I saw my dear mother, and
      My sister she was canning;
      Sis didn't look too healthy,
      From the angle I was facin',
      She was doin' laps
      In a jar we bought from Mason,
      Musha rain, etc…

  17. wondering where i am

    What about the doctor? Who got that fetus in a jar? Is that SOP in Texas or Maine or whatever hospitals? Do you want fries with that?

  18. Not_So_Much

    Have heard many times how evil and generally fucked up Babs was. But holy hell, it's amazing none of them have gone all Norman Bates on her when (if?) they got their first boners…

  19. freakishlywrong

    That picture too. Also.
    We just got shellacked at the polls and are awaiting teabagracy, add to that the horror and humiliation of enduring a Bush media blitz it's really almost too much to bear.

  20. Pragmatist2

    Has anyone ever seen Barbara Bush and Dick Cheney together????
    I can't find any photos. Hmmmmmm.
    It would explain a lot.

  21. bureaucrap

    "Georgie, would you be a dear and pick up 50 gallons of formaldehyde from the corner store? It's canning season!"

  22. doxastic

    Bush's memoir doubles as an anthropology of secret superstitious death-cult initiations of the American WASP.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      The Pro-Life Lobby is going all out to secure that jar and put it up for Golden Calf status. When the Tea Party Nation convenes under President Palin, we'll all have to worship this false idol.

  23. anniegetyourfun

    The idea of Jarbara in a prom dress is both horrifying and wonderful at the same time. Thanks, Jack!

    1. elpinche

      Jarbara reminds me of that scene where Leatherface is putting on lipstick while wearing a beautiful dress made of human skin.
      Speaking of fetuses, you've given birth to a new meme.

    2. StillGoinGreen

      JARBARA!!! Oh my fucking God, Jarbara. I am pissing all over myself over this one and everyone here in my office is doing the same. I am never going to be the same after being introduced to Jarbara! Thank you very much for the snot-filled tears running down my face!

      1. anniegetyourfun

        Aw, you're too kind! Guess I should go claim it over at Gawker before someone else does. Like that bitch from that cooking magazine.

  24. Radiotherapy

    Worst thing in this clown's presidency: Kanye West.
    Why he's pro-life: Babs babbles about a miscarriage and carries it around in a jar.

    What's fucking next??!? He had trouble picking out a get well card at Hallmark for Dicknuts?
    He worried about the color of the laces on his running shoes??1?

    If anyone forgot, or time is healing the wound somewhat, as to how rotten and ignoble this asshole and his cronies were — well rip the stainless steel sutures out of my sternotomy scars.

  25. HistoriCat

    I think we should all be grateful that freeze-drying technology was not as advanced back then. Today she would have freeze-dried the fetus and carried it around sans jar.

    That is some serious emotional stunting.

  26. Sgt_Biyatch

    Great Moments in Presidential Childhood History:

    George Washington: chopped down a cherry tree with a hatchet but did not lie about it
    Abraham Lincoln: lived a meager existence in a simple log cabin
    Barack Obama: Single mother gave him extra school lessons at 4:30 in the morning
    George W. Bush: Mother told her teenage son, “Here’s the fetus."

  27. sati_demise

    Is this even legal?
    Why not bury it in the backyard with a little headstone like everyone else?
    Everything that comes out of Babs vajajay has to be preserved?
    gad, she is sick, sick, sick.

    1. anniegetyourfun

      Word has it that she was going to take it to the hospital (I don't know, for testing or something?) and had to store it in the meantime.

      This was before Tupperware, I guess.

      1. DashboardBuddha

        Yeah…but if she took it to the hospital, it might have ended up next to Drew Barrymore's kids…and that simply is NOT a desirable neighborhood.

    2. Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Who among us doesn't keep fingernail clippings and jars of urine stored away just in case? I don't see what is so wrong about the George Washington impersonator's behavior. This is just three-dimensional scrapbooking, guys.

  28. DoktorZoom

    Anyone else think it's suspicious that Jack is the one writing this story? As the commentariat at Reason.com pointed out, "Steuf" is an anagram of "fetus."

    Who's pushing an an agenda in a jar now, HENGHHHH?

  29. Jerri

    God, that woman sure did a number him. Lucille Bluth ain't got nuthin' on old Barbara Bush.

    In all seriousness though, that sounds horribly traumatic. It just makes me feel sorry for George and that's something I really don't like feeling, given that he's a smug, horrible, jackass who sent thousands of people to pointless deaths in his precious little wars, not to mention his other terrible offenses.
    Oh hey look! I feel less bad for him now.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "God, that woman sure did a number him. Lucille Bluth ain't got nuthin' on old Barbara Bush. "

      Livia Soprano would be proud. "Oh, poor you!"

    2. Rosie_Scenario

      This is in addition to the behavior of G.H.W.B and Bar when Robin, Dubya's younger sister died. Dubya was not told much about what was happening to his sister and that must have been cruel and confusing.

    3. deleted9942636

      I realized the other day that JEB is the initials for John Ellis Bush, just like GOB is the initials for George Oscar Bluth!

      The parallels are just, mind-boggling.

    4. Sue4466

      If only she'd showed him the mangled corpse of a soldier or child after a bomb attack. Pro-life my ass.

  30. bureaucrap

    Perhaps "Fetus in a Jar" can be Andy Samberg's and Justin Timberlake's hilarious sequel to their hit song "D**k in a Box".

  31. JustPixelz

    Yes it's terrible. And ordinarily private. Not because of squeamishness, but out of respect for the child or fetus or dreams that died.

    1. uncuntstitutional

      exactly: private, solemn, and you have to let go at some point. I don't think healthy well-adjusted people want to preserve and bring home the fetus to pass around for the family. and healthy, well-adjusted people don't cite that experience to support their political stance on abortion.

      1. Rotundo_

        Babs in particular is an interesting and particularly pathological part of Dubya's development. I cannot imagine growing up in an environment like this and not growing up into a textbook case of sociopathy. If he had never ascended to the presidency and had written a book about his childhood as the son of a famous political family, it would cast him in a pretty sympathetic light. God knows how many lives and how much treasure later, it is difficult to do so. I wonder if this is why old money is as pathologically inclined as it seems sometimes.

        1. SorosBot

          If only he had gotten therapy, instead of turning to coke and booze, then to Jesus, then to bombing the shit out of people.

        2. Lascauxcaveman

          "Hey, Georgie, c'mere. Come check out yer dead sister. No, really, I got her in this jar. Pour me a bourbon on the way over. Lotsa ice."

      2. jim89048

        And I wasn't even allowed to bring home the pins and plates I had removed from my own foot last month? Where's MY Obamacare, damn it?

  32. fredbell

    I'm glad we are finding all this out now…It would have been a shame if this had all come out 10 years ago, and cost us the 8 wonderful years of his presidency…

  33. OneYieldRegular

    Well, at least she didn't have it bronzed.

    But seriously, Sweet Holy Jesus, please let this just be some sort of false "recovered" memory from a deranged mind. Please let this just be Dubya's projected memory metaphor for his own extended alcoholic stupor.

  34. OkieDokieDog

    Millie Bush (RIP) and Barney Bush are the only members of that whole Bush dysentery* that have ever shown any intelligence or class.

    *ha!

    1. SorosBot

      Barbara the younger also seems fairly normal compared to the rest of that clan. Of course, she doesn't look much like the rest of that family, and if I was a woman married to W I'd have been looking for a little action on the side.

  35. kublakant

    Bar is of course the supreme matriarch of the Draconians. All true Draconians keep their unfertilized child eggs in jars. They can then implant them into any convenient vessel for birthing. The one that Geroge W. saw was later implanted and became Barack Hussein Obama.

    1. DoktorZoom

      The Draconians…now, are they the ones that are going to set off the EMP Dirty Bomb today, or the ones who are going to stop it only if Obama turns himself in at the FEMA Camps?

  36. prommie

    This did not happen, this simply did not happen, the man is apparently crazy as shit, delusional, as well as being dumber than a box of hammers. This did not happen. A woman does not get to take home the fetus, thats just not done, except for maybe the fucking Santorums, but I am sure that they had a crazy fetus-fetishist doctor who let them, back in the 50s, 60s, doctors were even less likely to let something like this happen. He's crazy, this is a false memory, he imagined this, remembered the imagined image, and confused it with a real memory.

    1. Ducksworthy

      I actually seem to remember seeing fetuses in jars in some weird little small town "museum" down in Georgia in the 1960's. Of course, that was before Georgia gave them the right to vote.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        There was a whole room full of fetii in jars at the Loma Linda Medical School back in the 70s when my high school physiology class took a field trip there. They had the really odd ones (hydrocephalic, anencephalic etc) hidden but they showed them to us. One of the reasons I decided to blow off a career in medicine. But Seventh Day Adventists, you know…

      2. GunTotingProgressive

        They're called "Pickled Punks," and were all the rage in Depression-era carnival freak shows. They also figured prominently in medical education. Given the Bush family legacy, I'm thinking it was the freak show avenue.

    2. x111e7thst

      Maybe it happened in Istanbul? My cousin had an appendectomy there sometime in the late '60's and they gave her the appendix (in a jar) to take home.

      1. comrad_darkness

        You mean it wasn't Cheney all those years? It was Beautiful Brain Barbara?

        You know, that explains a lot.

    3. a_pink_poodle

      There are photo services that will dress up your still born baby or miscarried baby and put cheesy clip art around the frame. The mothers will even dress the dead babies in baby clothes for a couple of weeks before things start going off.

      Don't tell me people aren't that crazy! I'VE SEEN IT!

      1. Rotundo_

        That would be grief speaking, which can be close to and include insanity. There is a gulf, nay, a fucking ocean of difference between photo memories (even if they seem twisted to the non-grieving) and keeping your very own private specimen in a jar full of preservative. That is well and truly fucked up. Sharing this with your teenage son is beyond fucked up. Sharing this in an interview and an autobiography is in geosynchronous orbit above fucked up.

    4. MissTaken

      My science teacher in Junior High had a collection of death in jars, including a human fetus. It was really creepy knowing it was staring at you while you were dissecting a frog.

      I think crazy fetus shit like this really does happen

  37. bumfug

    "When you absolutely, positively have to fuck your kid up overnight!" Well, Babs, Mission Accomplished!!!

  38. metamarcisf

    I'm jealous. MY mom never bonded with me by showing my friends the fetus jar during sleepovers. Please adapt this book as an ABC After School Special

  39. Mort_Sinclair

    Barbara is batshit crazy, but I have a hard time believing she's this batshit crazy. Dubyah's been at the inhalants again. Classy.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Sorry, but she is. Her treatment of her other children when her daughter died of leukemia isn't that much better. The lack of empathy that she exhibited during Katrina — and felt no shame for and used as a way for her son Neil to make a profit from — was just this decade's version.

  40. mumbly_joe

    Okay, so here's the thing: I understand people doing all sorts of weird things with their miscarried fetuses: miscarriages are traumatic and upsetting and many people do go through a sort of mourning for them- some going so far as to hold a funeral and burial. I won't insult or belittle these heartfelt emotional responses, even including fetus-jars.

    On the other hand, that's also sorta the exact reason why I'm pro choice- it would be just as dickish for me to moralize about women's abortions and miscarriages and force them to undergo more guilt and shame over what is already a traumatic -although frequently unavoidable- circumstance.

    So, fuck you, Dubya.

  41. Extemporanus

    "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is that they all want to stay in my jar. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the fetuses in my, uh, area here, you know, were underdeveloped anyway, so this…[chuckle]…this is working very well for them!"

    - Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the uterine evacuees in her cupboard

  42. widestanceroman

    It is the tradition in my family to simply press ex-feti in between pages of the Bible to make dried arrangements for holidays. Yes, our xmas trees were the talk of the town.

  43. DoktorZoom

    Oh, man–I just got this GREAT caption idea for Dysfunctional Family Circus!

    (DoktorZoom used to be "GaijinMarty" at DFC…and I've seen Horselover Fat here on the Wonkette, too…anyone else here know what "holds the tent wher it is"?)

  44. Badonkadonkette

    Remind me again, why did W. refuse to allow the press to photograph the dead as they were returning from Iraq and Afghanistan? Something about "respect"?

  45. genxr

    Get to the part later in the book where he opens the jar, pours out the fetus, replaces it with Saddam's pistol, and puts the jar back on the mantle.

    Hey this reminds me, do they still sell pickled pigs feet at gas stations in Texas?

  46. WriteyWriterton

    Okay, has anyone called Bar-Bar Binks or George I for a comment on this? A confirmation or denial? Because this is beyond teh crazy; this is, I don't know, Sam Shepard's "Buried Child" re-imagined with blue-bloods?

    I say, Babs, what-what, how about an extra-dry martini and a jar with a fetus?

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  47. problemwithcaring

    Hey elitist! Those who do NOT carry around an aborted fetus in a jar, please, cast the first stone…

  48. DoktorZoom

    On the upside, his sibling's acting career took off when the Bush family answered a casting call for Eraserhead.

    1. SorosBot

      She's a very special girl
      The kind you won't bring home to mother
      Because you're mom's insane and would drive her away
      Your mom's a superfreak

  49. Rosie_Scenario

    Nothing says "respecting the sanctity of life," like placing a fetus in a jar and then passing it around to your disrespectful progeny. Bush family values

  50. problemwithcaring

    I have been commenting on Wonkette for about 3 years now. Today, my nonsensical avatar shines.

  51. YasserArraFeck

    GWB: Ma, I jus' had the craziest dream – I dreamt I was suckin down the biggest dirty martini you ever saw!
    MommaGrisly: Cain't listen now Georgy, I've done lost your sister – she seems to have escaped from her jar.
    GWB: burp…..

  52. Dashboard_Jesus

    Krishnamurti said it best ~ “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”…or family…seriously these Bush sociopaths have been a stain on this country for generations now, and we have to live with them parading their mental illness in our faces every day, as they live out their days in luxury behind gated walls, provided by 'Merka of course…karmic retribution can't come soon enough for these sick bastards

  53. lulzmonger

    I guess Barb didn't want to sully her precious mind with wondering what kind of monkeyshines the mischievous little homunculus might get up to.

    Yes, they truly are America's First Manson Family … it has been reported that the Bush lads have their own personal familial cult of machismo, which centers on "The Great Warrior-Spirit Chang" – & witnesses attest that they take their batshit-insane idol dead-seriously.

  54. HedonismBot

    That is truly a disgusting story, but anytime I hear about Bush these days, all I can think is "Dave Rothschild."

  55. Neoyorquino

    This really explains George's collection of ejaculate, which he kept in clumps of used Kleenex on his closet floor. Specimens, just like mom (well, almost).

  56. DashboardBuddha

    Oh yeah…what you smart asses don't know is that Fetus Jar Bush was the family member slated to become president. The only reason GWB ran and not FJB is that Karl Rove was afraid about how a fetus would poll with moderates.

    1. user-of-owls

      Perhaps, but a lot would depend on what election year we're talking about. Rove might have had a point in the Year of the Soccer Mom, but it'd be a different story in the Year of the Angry Grey Fetus.

    2. DoktorZoom

      The real problem was that Fetal Attraction Bush didn't automatically agree with Cheney. The team needed someone more pliable. "Yep, it might have only been a string of nerves and a few partly-formed vertebrae, but it had more backbone than Dick wanted to deal with," said Cheney spokesman Basil Ganglia.

  57. Eve8Apples

    I wonder what George I says when he sees Barbara wandering around the house with the fetus jar tucked under her arm. I imagine it's something like, "For Christ's sake bitch, could we please bury that thing in the back yard next to Millie?"

  58. JesusButter

    Well what the hell else was she gonna put it in? Seems actually very sensible.

    I hate to defend Barbara, but having a major miscarriage like that is traumatic, bloody, excrutiatingly painful, and scary as hell. I don't know that I would make better decisions in the same circumstance.

    1. walterhwhite

      "I don't know that I would make better decisions in the same circumstance."
      Seriously? You couldn't make a better decision than putting your aborted fetus in a jar and taking it home? I think you has a stoopids.

      1. JesusButter

        She wasn't taking it home, she was taking it TO the hospital. She miscarried at home. It was the mid-1960s for crying out loud and she was IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISCARRIAGE. Not a little zygote miscarriage, a half-grown fetus miscarriage, so yeah, I don't think what she did was "stoopid".

    2. Katydid

      What's a minor miscarriage?

      I've known several women who had miscarriages. Not one of them put the fetus in a jar and showed it to their child. That's some sick shit.

      1. JesusButter

        Georgie had to drive his mother to the hospital while she was miscarrying. She didn't bring it home and go "look what I got, Georgie!" She had to bring it with her and he was driving–what was she supposed to do, hide the jar up her skirt?

        1. Katydid

          She could have covered it, and she didn't have to offer him a look. I'm not going to pursue this anymore.

          1. JesusButter

            Jesus fucking christ, what has happened to Wonkette? You all need to get off your fucking high horse. This used to be a fun place.

          2. JesusButter

            Let me be clear. I have not now or ever had any sympathy for George W. Bush. I was merely expressing my opinion that his mother was living at that particular moment in a personal hell and maybe, just maybe, she wasn't thinking all too clearly. For that I was called "stoopid". This is not the Wonkette I knew and loved.

            I miss Newell.

          3. imissopus

            Good freaking God. Your first post was all serious and defensive of Barbara Bush sticking her miscarried fetus in a jar, and then you complain that the rest of us have lost OUR senses of humor? Snark or GTFO, ya dink.

  59. NewYorkJew

    But the really important thing is this:

    The plural of fetus (a fourth declension Latin noun) is not feti, but fetus (with a long u, rather than the short u of the singular). The accepted English plural is fetuses.

  60. comrad_darkness

    There’s no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life,” said the former president.

    I think he means "a philosophy of emotionally manipulating people's lizard brains". A lesson he learned well, turns out.

  61. BarackMyWorld

    Joke's on him.

    W's mother is pretty outspokenly pro-choice, and so was his dad until he ran for president.

    1. comrad_darkness

      So, the take-away for Junior should have been, "Look son, god is the world's leading abortionist"?

  62. comrad_darkness

    For those of you freaked out by this. Do not, I repeat, do not google "Placenta Jar". Especially do not add the word "cooking" or "recipe" to the search. Seriously.

    1. DoktorZoom

      In the early years of SNL, NBC Standards & Practices nixed a fake ad for "Placenta Helper." FUN FACT: The sketch was written by SNL wonder kids Tom Davis & Al Franken.

      LARAINE: …By the way, are you planning to eat the placenta?

      GILDA: You're kidding! You mean the afterbirth?

      LARAINE: That's right. Many mammals eat their own placenta. It's nutritious, it's 100 percent natural, and now that you're going to have a family, you've got to watch your food budget more than ever. And there's no cheaper meat than placenta.

      GILDA: But is there enough placenta to make a complete meal for my husband and myself?

      LARAINE: Not if your husband has a hearty appetite like mine. And that's why you need Placenta Helper.

  63. DahBoner

    At least Dubya and Pickles had the human decency to keep their retarded son in the attic, not in a jar!

    1. Rotundo_

      Actually *in* the jar, it's only acting as distribution now from what I am to understand of assistive cardiac pump technology. I would imagine it to be a blackened lump, not unlike a tarball.

  64. Lefty_Lucy

    "Addressing his own dismal popularity ratings when he left office, Bush said someone recently told him that his stature in the eyes of the American people was rising."

    What are the chances that "someone" was his Moms?

    1. Chet Kincaid

      I was surprised Stone didn't reshoot after the shoe-throwing incident. I saw the shoe interrupting his Texas Rangers fanstasy at the end. Maybe the jar and the shoe together will be enough to get the financing.

      1. BornInATrailer

        At the end of W when the ball doesn't come down, maybe they could change it to having the fetus jar come down and he catches it.

  65. ttommyunger

    You have to know that pickled fetus was the absolute best thing to ever have issued from Bar's fetid womb. This perennially pickled cunt and her pussyfart paramour were rarely seen at home or abroad without a cocktail in hand; and face it, who wouldn't want to stay shitfaced in that company? No surprise Dubya turned out to be an alcoholic sadist with Oedipus Issues.

  66. uncuntstitutional

    Listen I feel it's necessry to point out, Barb had the miscarriage at home and Jr was driving her to the hospital with the remains in the jar.

    Now, I don't know what's the "standard" in this situation, and I'm sure it's always terrible, but I would really think showing the remains to your son is just not the way to go. I'm sorry for anyone who's been through this (close friends and family of my own included), but these bushes are such awful, callous people, minimizing the needs of others while they play up any personal tragedy of their own, that it's easy to think of them as less worthy of sympathy. So, here goes….

    Now for the punchline: did she fish it out the toilet herself, or did one of the help do it for her?

  67. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    I hope Bill O'Reilly follows up on this story when the big guy gets his chance to (FILL IN THE BLANK), our man W.

  68. CapeClod

    The most shocking thing is that there are elements of the Republican party who see that fetus as a viable candidate for office because it has the name Bush attached to it.

  69. Chet Kincaid

    I think it's time to update Pat Conroy's World's Shortest Southern Gothic Novel: "On the night the hogs ate Willie, Mama showed me the fetus she kept in a jar after she heard what Daddy did to Sister."

    With the addition of the Jar Baby, the Presidential Library is being rebranded as the George W. Bush White House of Horror, open only in late October.

    And great work, Wonketeers! Seems I missed the party, because of actual day-job work and a flight delay in France. I'm looking at you, Mademoiselle Special Ops.

    1. Katydid

      Ooh, look at the elitist libtard, going to France. And my iPhone just tried to capitalize "libtard." I didn't know Steve Jobs was a Repuke. Hey, it knew "Repuke" too! I have a political iPhone!

  70. carlgt1

    actually the fact that there are so many miscarriages and zygotes flushed out of the system is proof to me that abortion isn't that bad, since Holy Babblin' Jesus seems to get rid of so many "potential babies" on His own anyway?

    Pickled Bush Fetus/Palin 2012!

  71. NorthStarSpanx

    When are they going to come out with the tequila with pro-life zygotes at the bottom of the bottle?

  72. hagajim

    I have to respect life too….I had to live through eight fucking years of GW Bush and four more of his Poppy….sheeiiit!

  73. HELisforHEL

    OMFG I'm away for a few days and I missed this–and the comments…so many many WINS.
    Really, that entire clan is fucking insane.

  74. gurukalehuru

    Well, as far as Republican parent child bonding moments, this beats the fuck out of Rich Iott.

    Has anybody asked Babs about this? She is still alive, I think.

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