Last week, our nation endured a great and brutal teabagging, and while Honest Patriots celebrated the victory with liters of corn syrup and victory speeches, the rest of America ran to quickly abort all its babies and hang out with any and all gay Mexican friends, all the while praying that Michelle Obama could bring some reason and clarity to that dark, cold night. What America didn’t know is that Michelle Obama is basically over, because she failed to singlehandedly win every single race in the election. Once upon a time, our FLOTUS was a “rock star” on top of the world. Now, she is a dancing queen, and on the other side of it. Jai ho!
Our FLOTUS left town for another fancy vacation last week, probably because she is so disgusted with everyone here. This time, she traveled to India, where she dazzled the children of Slumdog Millionaire with her dance moves.
She’s sweet, though no longer all that young, and definitely not 17. But – to borrow the title of the Abba hit – Michelle Obama could well be crowned the ‘dancing queen’. Twice in two days, the First Lady demonstrated in Mumbai that she could swing to desi beats with the best of them, pulling off matkas and jhatkas like a seasoned performer.
If on Saturday, Michelle enthusiastically swayed to the chartbuster ‘Rang De Basanti’, on Sunday she never put a step wrong while joining schoolkids of Holy Name High School in dancing to a Koli fisherfolk song. It was a stark contrast to her husband, who gamely joined in. Let’s just say that the president’s deft moves didn’t extend to the dance floor. In fact, his White House aides were in splits.
In fact, the president cannot dance to this music, or probably any music at all. Here is that video, of our FLOTUS dropping it like it’s a hot piece of naan and our president doing…something.
So our FLOTUS is now India’s new Queen of Dance, and also Queen of Haircuts and Queen of Decorative Pillows. She has basically conquered India, and will probably be ruling from there from now on, from a palace in a giant vegetable garden called the Taj Michelle. [The Times of India]
Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.
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Ain't no brickhouse either
"Just press any key."
"Where is the 'ANY' key? My keyboard doesn't have that."
"By Jove, I'm telling you to just press any key"
CLICK!!!
Do you listen to Stephanie Miller?
Fox News breaking the story about how this emboldens our enemies in 3…2…1..
Barry Soetero was definitely bowing to that one kid. What a mockery. I am so ashamed of how far our once-great country has fallen. Pass me the Cheez-Poofs.
And turn on Dancing with the Stars.
Well of course there was going to be some dancing; if Indian movies haven't lied to me, there people are always just breaking out into singing and dancing at random moments, hell Obama probably had to join in an elaborate song and dance routine with the Prime Minister and their advisers at some point during their meetings.
She's obviously just trying to curry favor over there. Hey, nothing wrong with a groaner every now and then.
This video should remove any doubt that the President is half-white.
Can't jump, either.
It does raise the question of whether he's really half-black, however.
To quote Ms. Wanda Sykes…
"We know he's half-white. We've seen him dance."
If that guy legislates like he dances, I'd hate to be his country.
Wait 'til he bust out a Haka on all our asses.
Mahalo!
Hopey is still a better dance than Bristol.
To be fair, so is a enormous pig wrapped in a peach sari.
No you di'int.
Your political star power may have dimmed, Michelle, but we'll always have Mumbai.
Our beloved FLOTUS is the vision of Diwali dancing.
And a very happy Diwali to all at Wonkette. Diwali, as you all know, is the Indian festival of lights. In honor of Diwali, all the Wonketteers should give proper Diwali gifts to the closest Teadards or Repubes you know. In keeping with the spirit of Diwali it should be something orange or with lights. Meeting both those goals would be giving the Teatard/Repube a good old fashion hot foot. While they're dousing their flaming foot in the toilet I sure they will thank you profusely for sharing with them this very special international holiday celebration.
Is it a costume party?
Our FLOTUS loved by people of other nations, which is why the teatards loath her every move.
This was no cutesy photo op but cold economic pragmatism. When India begins outsourcing all its lavish musical extra jobs in a few years, the Administration wanted to be seriously considered.
It's true! We *must* maintain the Dance Superiority Gap for America! Not to be confused with the Superiority Dance Gap.
Nor the Safety Dance Gap.
Ah, but is Michelle's loony bun fine Benny Lava?
Better send in the Israeli gun-merchants to rescue our POTUS! Dinga-dinga-dee!
KRISHNA ACCOMPLISHED!
If they Boner baby fetuses, they'll be orange so just ever so appropriate. In good taste, also, too.
they dance on graves of imperialists.
it's true. you can't hardly take a step on this planet anymore without walking on the grave of an imperialist. history's old, you know. and it ain't over.
Haven't the Indian's figured out yet that Michelle is a rabid, Anti-American Muslim radical who has never been proud of her country yet? A little dancing can't possibly wash away the stain of all of that.
Too late. Flotus' pride virginity has been restored through the power of outsourced dance.
I wish I could dance, but I am merely a disembodied RCA dog head.
Sadly, gastropods are bad dancers, too.
Look on in envy, then:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6lNuNI7uQM
fish are excellent dancers.
~
I don't dance, either. I just sing menacingly while waving a razor.
Fish head, fish head, roly poly fish heads …
It may not necessarily be a reflection of their dancing ability alone that Michelle did better than Barry — he's in a country with ambivalent relations towards the US that could possibly have an impact on billions of dollars in trade as well as screw up (for completely legitimate reasons) our needed ally, Pakistan. And she — well, she's among children who eat their vegetables.
she's among children who eat their vegetables.
In other words, a nation of fascists!
~
Hard to imagine Laura Bush doing so well in a similar situation, let alone Chimpy;all he could do is get to First Base w/Prince Bandar.
Laura Bush was too busy ducking away from Jacques Chirac trying to bone her in front of Ol' Georgie.
BTW, I wonder if it was some sort of political strategery for Mish to delay announcing her pregnancy until after the midterms?
Yes on motorcycle, no on pregnancy. She's no Palin.
Thank You for your vote.
In early polling, Ref. #KZ1100, known as the “Should Caveman Get a Vintage Motorcycle for His Mid-Life Crisis 50th Birthday Referendum” the ‘yes’ votes lead the ‘no’ votes %100 – %0. (Margin of error +/- 4%)
Polls close Friday, birthday is Saturday. (Scroll over my avatar for details.)
I rode a '62 H-D Duo Glide for a long time, love the old iron.
Waaaaay out of my price range. Plus, I prefer smooth over loud. I'm looking at a 81' KZ1100 shafty.
I'm going to have to go yes on motorcycle: it's less financially devastating than trying to open a storefront business with a terrible business model, and less personally devastating and devastating to your loved ones than having an affair and second family.
So, really, if you think about it, not getting a motorcycle would be irresponsible, and hurt everyone you care about. Go motorcycle, Caveman.
For America, also, too, also.
Just like THEM. Once they get in gov't housing & a gov't check, they start popping out more babies.
End AFDC now!
He's dancing with boys, isn't he? So how come the Impeachment hasn't begun?
Because it didn't happen in Thailand.
Sweet lady. I love her. She's been a champ with him for a few years now.
Yeah, but … can she beat Bristol?
She'd break her foot of in her ass, as we'd say.
Poor, Barry. I cringe everytime they force him to dance be it in India or on Ellen.
Or go bowling.
And now the NYTimes is saying that Michelle has "wooed" India with her dance moves. Take notes, Barry, as your wife seduces a nation with her funky grooves and seductive movements.
She is Shiva, dancing the Dance of Creation, the dwarf of ignorance (a Teabagger on a scooter) beneath her feet, green vegetables blooming around her. When she stops, the world will end and a new cycle can begin.
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