U.S. Finally Adds Jobs, But Not the Kind That Drop Unemployment

  someday somewhere someway

The United States economy added 151,000 jobs in October, a welcome change after four months of job losses but still not enough to make a dent in unemployment.

Oh. Well, tell us when it does, okay? We’ll be waiting, right here in this cardboard box.

Meanwhile, Obama now says the reason he is going to Asia is to STEAL their jobs and give them to us. Or something like that. Good luck, bro! Don’t just bring back a copy of their want ads! [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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