Obama Begins Two Hundred Million Trillion Dollar Asian Vacation

• Barack Obama is fleeing the country for a ten-day "please stop taking our jobs?" tour of India, Indonesia, South Korea and Japan. And there have been many accurate news reports suggesting that Obama is spending two hundred million dollars a day on this Gluttonous Asian Vacation: Our president does not pack lightly! According to Matt Drudge, the White House has been lifted from its foundation and placed on a flatbed truck made entirely out of diamonds , and this diamond-encrusted flatbed truck was placed on the most expensive aircraft carrier -- and then this aircraft carrier was put in the cargo hold of a different and way more expensive aircraft carrier. And this aircraft carrier is just one of the thirty-four warships that Obama is taking with him. (The rest of these ships are carrying delicious snacks, like popcorn shrimp.) Talk about splurging!Michele Bachmann is just so goddamned angry about this reckless spending, and her soon-to-be formed Constitutional Conservative Caucus Party (CCCP -- what a filthy Pinko!) is going to hold hearings, on Fox News. Too bad all of this is just phony baloney nonsense made up by some Indian tabloid. Uh, but it is true that Obama will attend the G-20 and APEC summits while he's over there. Shame on him! (What?) [ CNN ]

• Meanwhile, in Washington State: Patty Murray has defeated Dino Rossi! [ Seattle Times ]

• And it looks like Dannel P. Malloy will be the next governor of Connecticut. [ NYT ]