the epic journey of a sarah palin mouse-click

Sarah Palin ‘Favorites’ Obama Jesus-Blood Church Sign Photo

Here. Look. Whatever.
Oh God, why did They have to do all the news yesterday and Tuesday? There’s nothing going on today. Okay, fine, we will post this thing that Sarah Palin’s Twitter account “favorited” last week. Everyone else who it was sent to is writing about this, right? And this way we won’t have to address all the inane speculation today about her presidential run? Good. Here. Enjoy this dumb sign.

The low-cost Indian servant who is running Sarah Palin’s Twitter account from Mumbai “favorited” this because her life is awful.

Ann Coulter, who first retweeted this image, said this is “my new church,” because she is awful.

This church put up this sign because it hates its Christian duty to love its fellow humans because it is awful.

People who spend their lives full of hate go to churches like this because they are awful.

And Barack Obama has to put up with shit like this because he is a Taliban and most people just blindly assume he is Muslim and could not be duly elected president just because of that. Yes, we have president who is a Taliban. Deal with it, America. The end. [FINE, Palingates]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

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  • GunTotingProgressive

    Hey, they misspelled "Allah."

    • ReturnToMetal

      I'm surprised that's the ONLY thing they misspelled.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Giving the benefit of a doubt, Atlah could be a place name or some biblical reference, but since everything else IS spelled correctly, my best estimate is this is a clever forgery. Does 4chan mess with other people's outdoor reader boards?

        • OneDollarJuana

          Atlah, New York.

  • chascates

    The blood of Jesus versus the blood of Mohammad. Now that's religion!

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      Indeed. that's clearly going to be the Sunday Night Game of the Week!

    • Boredw/Gravity

      We're going to need more maxi pads over here.

    • Beetagger

      Steel cage death match!

    • bubberella

      Blood! Now we can make pudding!

  • Weenus299

    Oh crap. I have Mannings in my extended family. And they happen to be pastors. Racist pastors. Sorry guys.

    • Weenus299

      HOORAY! This Manning isn't one of my racist preacher Mannings.

  • Litlebritdifrnt

    Manning has had a hatred for POTUS for a long time, he actually believes that he has "tried" him for "treason" earlier in the year and is now trying to get people to take notice of his "indictments" and "guilty verdicts" He also tried and found guilty Columbia University. Not sure how he is going to be able to incacerate it though, its a bit big for most jail cells.

    • genxr

      That's easy. Columbia will be held within the future prison city of New York.

      • CessnaDriver

        Will Season Hubley be there or will she be over at Chock Full 'o Nuts?

      • HistoriCat

        Someone get Snake Pliskin on standby. And I don't care what you heard – he's NOT dead.

    • PublicLuxury

      He also tried me and now that he knows what a good woman is like he has decided to try teenage boys and girls under the age of nine. Didn't know I had that kind of power on a man, did ya? Any Takers???

      • chicken_thief

        I am ready to see the light!!! Hallelujah!!! Praise the Lord!!! And all that shit…

  • CablinasianDem

    Of course this Church is her favorite:

    1. It's run by David Manning who uses racist street-lingo like "Mack Daddy" to refer to Obama.

    2. The Church and Manning have almost filled their Obama Hyperbole Bingo Card (they have Muslim, Taliban, Hussein, and Hitler; need Stalin).

    3. Whoever posts their signs follows the same sentence structure as Palin.

    • BrentKockman

      one of their youtube videos of "Dr." Manning's radio broadcasts is tagged "Sarah Palin is a hardcore closet racist."

      so, I'm really confused about all of this. and that makes me ANGRY. IMPEACH "Dr." Manning right now for sedition and treason and CONFUSING AMERICA

    • BombyMcGee

      Palin sentence structure generally follows this format:

      DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DURRRR

      • CZL

        You've got a dangling durr where you should have a genitive hurr. I hope that helps.

  • PresBeeblebrox

    Alright, it's Pastor Manning!

    O – BAH – MA!!!

    • mookwrthwilson

      Much like President Obamar, I would like to pimp white women and black women…

    • BarackMyWorld

      HE'S NOT A BLACK MAN! HE'S NOT EVEN FROM THE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD!

  • Serolf_Divad

    So the best Jesus could do was to flip control of the House? He couldn't even deliver the Senate? This Jesus is a bit of a wimp, isn't he… you know… as far as Omnipotent Beings go.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Aqua Buddha could kick Jesus' ass.

      Where's your Messiah now!

      • elviouslyqueer

        ALL HAIL FSM!

        • CessnaDriver

          Ramen!

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Straight fact: Cthulhu would have rocked the Senate.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        Or at least taken Lieberman home with him.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Cthulhu likes his sad-man jowls.

    • anniegetyourfun

      "Jesus Is a Goddamned Pussy" is going to be my chart-topping country hit in a few weeks. Just you wait.

      • kenlayisalive

        I'm working on one called "There's a Tear in my Beer 'cause America is Full of Fucking Racist Idiots". B-side?

        • G. Friday

          For years I read that song title as tear, like, tear a sheet of paper. Woah, that Hank Williams is so far out!

    • SorosBot

      If you want a resurrected savior god that can kick ass, you' should go with Hercules.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Really. THIS was the best he could do – get Rand Paul elected? Some Teabagger reLOVEution. I'm placing all my bets with the communists from now on.

    • zhubajie

      "He who sits in the heavens laughs them to scorn." Psalm 2

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He couldn't even deliver the Senate?

      If you're a raving, spittle-flecked fundy lunatic, that one gets breezed over with the philosophical catch-all, "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

      (I've always hated that major cop-out. One of the reasons I'm done with religiousity of any kind.)

      • chicken_thief

        Ya. He could have been smitten by god. Or that fucking drunk bus driver who turned the sidewalk into a four lane could have been a factor….

  • LionelHutzEsq

    But there is no racism in the Tea Party Movement. Haven't you watched FOX News?

    I'm sure Bill O'Reilly will spend three segments on this tonight, and condemn The Quitting Governor of Alaska for her racism. Fair and Balance.

    • Respitetini

      But, but… It's not racist, right? It's just freedom of speech or something. Isn't that what that Juan whatsisname said?

      • LionelHutzEsq

        I mean, look, Bill, I’m not a bigot. But when I get on a plane, I got to tell you, if I see a Taliban Muslim illegally elected President who is covered in the blood of Jesus and I think, you know, he is identifying himself first and foremost as a Taliban Muslim illegally elected President , I get worried. I get nervous.

  • Maman

    Ann Coulter is a nasty piece of work who keeps degrading herself to get the big boys to like her and they keep laughing at her because they can get her to do anything. What a waste of skin and bone.

    • forgracie

      At least not too much skin and bone….

      • kenlayisalive

        You kidding? That skull alone weighs pert near 50 pounds.

        I'm saying I've seen smaller and more attractive skulls in the Museum of Natural History's Triceratops exhibit is what I'm saying.

        Also she's an ugly ugly cunt with a giant misshapen head and teeth.

        And also you could bowl with her adam's apple.

        • Maman

          oh excellent… you used my favorite c word to describe her. I am trying not to use it as much ever since I had a nun try to blackmail me over my usage.

          • kenlayisalive

            Haha…do tell. This is a Catholic school experience?

          • Maman

            Yes, but I am the Mom, not the student.

          • kenlayisalive

            hahhaa! Even better.

          • BrentKockman

            Moms can call other women a cunt! It's in the CUNTstitution!

    • DashboardBuddha

      skin, bone, and gristle.

      • neiltheblaze

        And bile.

      • Maman

        and a hank of hair

      • BrentKockman

        and Bill O'Reilly's jizz

        • DashboardBuddha

          Now see…we been unnecessarily cruel. As evidenced by the comments, there's much more to Anne then meets the eye.

          Unfortunately, it's all shit.

    • PublicLuxury

      Wasn't Ann Coulter a man named Andy in high school? "Her" adams apple gives "her" away everytime.

  • EdFlintstone

    Well that is a world salad right up snowgrifter's alley. Is the Hussein on the end like some sort of wingtard exclamation point?

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Let me translate to wonkettese: Hussein = !!!!1! Also.

  • ReturnToMetal

    It reminds me of Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" character.

    The Church Lady never prayed "for" anyone. She always prayed "against" them.

    Same with Pastor Manning.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      It's also Angela on The Office. All WASPy clean image but hateful, bitter and toxic with a dirty horny streak to shit where she eats.

  • GOPCrusher

    And to think that these racist scumbags weaseled their way back into power in this country.

    • slappypaddy

      if they think they did that, the joke's going to be on them. once they take office in january, they'll be allowed to have as much power as will not interfere with business, and not one amp more. they can make all the noise they like, but when their racism gets in the way of corporate profits, they'll be reminded what century they're living in.

      • GOPCrusher

        Maybe they will go for the xenophobic route and try to enact Immigration Reform, thus shut down the source of cheap labor at the border. I give Swift, Tyson, Perdue, and a few other large meat packing conglomerates about two days to explain to Speaker Drunky McNicotineStain that the campaign contributions to the Republiklan Party have been shut off.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    "Atlah" is American for Allah!

  • ReturnToMetal

    And I was pissed off when a Church near me posted a sign that read:

    "You and God are the Majority."

    • L188188

      Oh, that would piss me off too.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      "You + God = You + the voices in your head"

    • obiwanacracker

      I'm taking care of the billboards–you want I should work on that sign while I've got the chainsaw out?

    • petehammer

      Ah, but is "You and God" filibuster-proof?

  • Limeylizzie

    I see this fucking sign every single fucking day! It is on Lenox Avenue in Harlem about 4 blocks from my apartment and I have to walk past it on my way to the gym. I wonder if Palin and Coulter know that he is also hates the Uppity White Folks who are gentrifying Harlem .

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      probably not, because in their world, the word "uppity" is never followed by the word "white"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      This spew is from a brother?

      Damn, that's whack.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Also, why in't this brother on FOX News, well, pretty much all the time? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_David_Manning

        • mumbly_joe

          Wow, what a fucking asshole. Speaking as someone who's very, very multi, going as far back as my great-grandparents, the bigoted crap this dick spews about Obama's Multi-tude seriously just makes me want to start punching faces and never stop.

    • Chet Kincaid

      I remember watching this pastor's insane videos on youtube during the '08 election. There was one where he was all incensed about the Obama Girl video, going on and on about her "big ol' double-D" tits with great delectation and claiming that the "long legged Mack Daddy" himself put her up to it. There are tons of videos, all devoted to revealing Obama as Satan incarnate. My god he is a nutcase! All the black folks going to his church must be gullible enough for a one-way ticket to the next Jonestown.

      • Limeylizzie

        He is completely insane and such a racist, he hates Whitey and any kind of interracial anything. It's hilarious though because his “church” is right on Lenox/Malcolm X where all the Eurotourists walk and I see them just looking at this sign in horror especially right after the election, he also has had one up calling Obama's mother a white whore, so that's nice.

      • Limeylizzie

        He would also appear to hate me.

        "It is common knowledge that African men, coming from the continent of Africa—especially for the first time—do diligently seek out white women to have sexual intercourse with. Generally the most noble of white society choose not to intercourse sexually with these men. So it's usually the trashier ones who make their determinations that they're going to have sex."[12]

        • mumbly_joe

          Ha, and also my mom, and her mom, and her mom, just for good measure. This one is not terribly amused, and really struggling with the funnytimes here.

          • Limeylizzie

            I know love, it's sickening, I really thought people had evolved, but then I forgot about the Republicans.

      • HistoriCat

        I am glad to see that stupidity and gullibility are the true human qualities available to all regardless of race, religion, etc.

    • Not_So_Much

      Any detail on how a "James David Manning" compares to a "Santorum"? Guessing less moist, but heavier on the fecal remnant…

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    if we can get a blood type on Jesus, I'm guessing he may have a pretty well-functioning kidney for my aunt.

  • elpinche

    Ann Coulter, what a waste of a perfectly fine penis.

    • obiwanacracker

      I'm guessing there's nothing fine about it. Eat a sandwich, for Christ's sake.

    • Tommmcattt

      I dunno about fine. If she has one, I'll bet it is both tiny and sharp….

      • V572625694

        Your new avatar image is not quite in line w/the prevailing kute-kitteh theme around here. Just sayin…

        • Tommmcattt

          He looks like he is high. I can't think of a more fitting image, considering.

          Wait, what are you seeing?

          • V572625694

            Let me pour another martini and I'll get back to you.

      • widestanceroman

        Small and wedge-shaped, like a cat penis.

    • EdFlintstone

      I bet it smells like shit from being tucked between her ass cheeks all day.

  • rocktonsam

    He's your problem New York.

    • Beowoof

      And we just got rid of Carl Paladino.

      • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

        But your rent is still too damn high!

      • Negropolis

        Got rid of? No, now you have to find someway to entertain him into submission over the next four years. It's not like he's going anywhere, that is unless him going back to Buffalo is equivalent to sending him to Siberia from a NYCers point of view. In that case, I guess you did get rid of him.

        I know how Upstaters must feel. In Michigan, I live in a place not in Metro Detroit, so that simply makes me an Outstater.

    • chicken_thief

      How many blocks away from GZ is this fucknut?!

  • SorosBot

    So it looks like what they're saying is that Jesus' blood went up against Obama on 4 Nov. 2008 (and way to write the date like a socialist European, pastor), and since Obama won the election it must mean the blood lost. Their savior just ain't strong enough.

    • mrpuma2u

      Yeah how can the blood of jeebus lose to a seekret muslin? Unless the blood of hey-SOOS anointed him in his victory?!?

      • HistoriCat

        Feminized Jesus will never defeat Obamar. Bring on muscular Jesus!

  • nounverb911

    Who is Usa Hussein? Isn't he the president of Iraqistan?

  • L188188

    From Wikipedia comes possibly one of my favorite sentences ever:

    "As a younger man, Manning burgled homes, mostly on Long Island. "

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Kudos to him for figuring out religion was a much easier racket.

      • Serolf_Divad

        And more lucrative, to boot.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Sure seems that way!

  • 4TheTurnstiles

    Jeez. In 2008 our Amigo Jesus put Obama in the white house and Reid and Pelosi in charge of Congress. He also does the lawn with his brother Ramon. His 2010 miracles are pretty weak sauce by comparison. Come on, Jesus: step it up or we're calling La Migra, amigo.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Meg Whitman approves this comment!

    • emmelemm

      I regret I am only allowed to give one thumb to that comment. After all, I have a spare.

  • nounverb911

    How about just some spontaneous sign burning?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Ah, this would be the same Rev. Manning who was visited by the Secret Service for making overt death threats against the president. Perhaps Chris Matthews can ask Sarah Palin whether she also found that funny.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    That sign looks real.. But… for hours of fun with friends and family click here:

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh Ann, how could you? The members of the Cathedral of the Unholy Anorexic Tranny are going to be so disappointed that you're dumping them.

  • edgydrifter

    I'm pretty sure if Barry O. was actually Taliban, the dickwad who put up this sign would have been stoned to death during a halftime show at Giants Stadium. There's a reason you didn't see crap like this in Afghanistan. Besides the pervasive illiteracy, I mean.

  • HedonismBot

    You realize, of course – now that the GOP/teabaggers won ALL the government, forever and ever, thereby refudiating Obamunism and liberalism for all time and eternity – this kind of hateful, racist, fearmongering "conservative" crap is going to become even more prevalent than ever.

    • SayItWithWookies

      And hopefully they'll all be right pissed when the people they elected haven't turned America into a tax-free corporate-run theocracy by Friday and just decide that this voting shit is a plan by Satan to get their expectations up.

      • BarryOPotter

        …this voting shit is a plan by Satan to get their expectations up.

        Satan: "Whoa dude! Leave me out this, man. We have a crazy quota in the Pit, and this brings more than even I, the Dark Lord, am willing to put up with. Nah, slick. Don't pin this shit on me."

        • HistoriCat

          Satan – "Yo, Jesus! Hey man, these crazy mofos say they're on your team. Can you swing by and pick them up?"

          Jesus – "Sorry dude. Don't know them. Must be one of dad's practical jokes."

    • zhubajie

      Wait till they give up hope in the Rapture solving their problems! They'll want to blame someone….

      • BarryOPotter

        Or they'll be irresistible targets to mind-fuck:
        "Maybe Jesus just isn't that into you"
        "Apparently, you really were doin' it 'rong"
        "I guess we know what this means for your eternal soul… BOO!"
        "Do you smell sulfur?"
        "Whoa! Your aura is really black."
        "Abyssus abyssum invocat, motherfucker."

        • zhubajie

          Well, some will say things like that. But others will figure it wasthe Jews' fault because THEY didn't build a 3rd temple in Jerusalem,start-up animal sacrifices again, thus preventing the Antichrist andthe Second Coming of Jesus.

    • undeterredbyreality

      But seriously, folks–What part of "constitutional democracy" don't the Teabaggers get? I'd understand if they were 51% of the population, but they are no more than 15% (although they may average about 51 on the IQ meter). Why do they get 90% of the coverage on the news and why, oh why, do they think they can dictate to the 85% that rejected them? How many do they have in the House, 40? Do they realize there are a total of 435, so they're barely ten percent? How many in the Senate, 3, maybe 4 or 5? There are 100 total members, so they're about five percent. Why, now, are the Repubs acting like they've gotta bend over for them? Why not make them form a third party like they ought to have in the first place (of course, they don't know that, because they're idiots).

      They don't want a democracy, they want a TeaParty dictatorship.

      I know, I know, just restating the obvious–but why does the MSM and everybody else kowtow to this bunch of radical jihadist idiots?

      AARRGGHHHH!!!

      • My_pal_HAL

        The MSM= LSM?

    • fatoots

      I swear to God, it's as if the trolls have now begun to spam the NYT comments section, because their editorial today was post after post, almost word for word, "You just don't get it. The people rejected Obama and his liberal agenda. Liberalism is DED!"

      And they didn't publish my comment. Which was epic. Asshats

    • Billmatic

      That was all irony right because I remember libs thinking two years ago that we won all the government forever and ever. And the thing is, mainstream america *doesn't* like this. This is weird and scary to them man, that's why the GOP is not super happy right now. That's why a lot of them in their victory speeches were close to the cuff, it's still touch and go. The fact is that the philosophy that gets us out of the recession and on a track to sustained growth is NOT COMING FROM THE MAINSTREAM. I'm not sure what makes teabaggers different than "moderate Repbulicans" these days. We'll see if there is a philosophical commitment to actually lowering the budget, which wouldn't be a bad idea. The thing is there's this religious and wingnut psycho thing artificially grafted onto it so it's going to die off, they're not even going to get along with each other. This is the same old GOP just with a new brand name.

      Honestly it makes me a little envious that we don't have Moonbats fucking up primary races for these established "liberal" democrats.

  • GuanoFaucet

    The blood of (imaginary) Jesus against Palin. History made 4 Nov 2008. A snowbilly grifter cretin thankfully not elected vice president USA: Trig. Also.

  • finallyhappy

    Ha, ha, I'm Jewish- but wait so was Jesus- was it that church doing with Jewish Blood????

    • zhubajie

      You just know they'll blame the Jews for preventing the Rapture and the Second Coming.

  • bst1yet

    Manning does NOT love Sarah Palin. He said so just yesterday on video. http://atlahmedianetwork.org/?p=10822

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Well, I think we can all agree this proves that Sarah Palin is running.

    Palin in '12!!!

    • jus_wonderin

      Oh, please Sarah. Run in '12. Pleasseeeee!!!!!

      • LionelHutzEsq

        How can she not? She has the blood of Jesus on her side.

        • glindsey1979

          Everybody seems to want Palin to win because they think she'll be crushed. I personally think she'd win. I have that much anti-faith in the American people.

          I never did believe in the whole "2012 apocalypse" thing until I realized that it will simply become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

          • mog253

            Yeah, I don't want to think of what the campaign would be like, what with Bristol dancing and Trig drooling and Sarah waving her AK47 around. Ugh.

  • jus_wonderin

    Manning, quit using my President as a punchline, Asshat!!

  • emmelemm

    Replace "some afternoons" with "every afternoon" and I'm right there with ya.

    • jus_wonderin

      Replace "getting out of bed" with "stop drinking my bottomless vodka/tonic" and I am there with ya. Though, my GF might be opposed to it. Can I bring her along?

      • SayItWithWookies

        The more, the miserablier, so why not. Oh and that reminds me — I have to pick up some bourbon on the way home.

        • savethispatient

          Don't forget the ammo!

    • Beowoof

      I keep trying to dream up the right affliction to get the Dr. to prescribe the big bottle of Valium. Red wine chaser with that and then sit mindless in front of the television just like the rest of America.

      • Jukesgrrl

        How come it's so easy for other people to get?

  • V572625694

    Here's one I saw just the other day:
    http://atom.smasher.org/bar-b-q/?l1=Barack+Obama+…!

    • Ducksworthy

      Thanks for drawing my attention to this. Here. This is better http://tinyurl.com/25xpmuy

    • zhubajie

      Because it's whites only?

      • V572625694

        Muslins no likey the pork, one hears.

    • undeterredbyreality
    • mog253

      Would love to see their faces if he decided to belly up to the bar and order some ribs.

  • fuflans

    can we have a guy fawkes day?

    i swear to god, i feel like blowing shit up.

    • Limeylizzie

      Why not , it's tomorrow.

  • Beowoof

    But she has a big dick.

    • petehammer

      "She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls."

      • chicken_thief

        I see that Adam's Apple as proof that there is a god. Natures very own tongue piercing taken to a whole 'nother magnitude. What you see in the front is only the tip of the iceberg – imagine the backside of that bad boy rubbing your cock when she deep throats you….

  • Radiotherapy

    T'aint no big thing, waiting for the bell to ring.
    T'aint no big thing, the toll of the bell.

    Dear Libtards, don't you see this is a trap? If we make fun, or call them hate-mongering racists, then it'll be, "Oh see how they criticize a black pastor for expressing his 1st Amendment rights."
    Nonetheless, Palin and Coulter can tongue punch each other's herpetic fart boxes all Alaskan night long.

    • emmelemm

      Ugh.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He's welcome to his first amendment rights — I criticize him for being a hateful, ignorant, xenophobic troglodyte.

    • snoopyfan2010

      Don't tell me you never seen the movie Mean Girls.

    • CUNextTuesday

      Today we are all tongue-punched herpetic fart boxes.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    The fact that Rev. James David Manning is black should surprise me, but, in Obama's "post-racial" America, it doesn't.

    • bst1yet

      Manning does NOT love Sarah Palin, he just said so on a video yesterday.

    • chicken_thief

      He's just pissed 'cause BO, Sr got to that fine white shit while he was gettin his ass reamed by Bubba in the big house.

  • V572625694

    Love the "have no evidence to the contrary" rhetorical trick. "Some say Sarah Palin used to give $3 blowjobs to Taiwanese sailors on the docks in Anchorage. I have no evidence to the contrary."

    • PsycWench

      But when did she stop beating her wife, uh, Todd?

  • http://estevancarlos.com american__mutt

    i hate her.

  • jus_wonderin

    For Sarah and Ann: Where is falling debris from the engine of an A380 when we need it?????

    • V572625694

      May they ground every one of those goddamn double-decker flying hog troughs before I ever have to fly on one.

  • smokefilledroommate

    THAT'S A SHITTY RACIST SIGN: HUSSEIN. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF: HUSSEIN. ILLEGAL JESUS BLOOD WORD SALAD USA PREZNIT KFC: HUSSEIN.

  • Worthly Wokette Skum

    Love the soft focus in the pic. Very 1970's Penthouse.

    Or maybe it's my eyeballs melting.

  • DahBoner

    Hate is the New Black.

  • VinnyThePooh

    It looks like a recycled Dairy Queen sign.
    I'll take a TrukNutz Buster Parfait.

  • mumbly_joe

    Wow, so in late-breaking news,Palin and Coulter are both terrible people, and also thinly veiled racists, and also a Christian pastor somewhere is similarly terrible. YAWN.

    Wake me up when it's time for another penis joke or a NOBOBAMA or something, guys.

    • snoopyfan2010

      Yes, it is getting tired.

    • Chet Kincaid

      More entertaining than the 500-comment troll wars some folks here enjoy.

      • mumbly_joe

        Guilty as charged, sir. I do love donning my Asbestos suit and having a good ol' flame war from time to time.

        Honestly, I'm reacting more to the repeated, completely routine terribleness and racism of the Coulters and Palins out there, than to the story itself- their continued presence anywhere in our national conversation is what's so fucking tiresome- hell, even Jack sounded kinda bored of this sort of crap, above.

        Also, just personally, I'd rather have something I could make fun of than something that makes me angry, and this really only does the latter for me- only, I'm so fucking used to it at this point that it… it just makes me really fucking tired. Weary, even. Come on, America, try not to fucking live down to my expectations so much.

        • Chet Kincaid

          Well, the fact that this pastor is a self-hating character from the Boondocks come to life ought to be good for a few yucks.

          And personally, I think you troll warriors have failed if the thread doesn't get down to columns of 3 characters or less. If there is ever a "Singularity", I think intensedebate collapses in on itself, taking all of our "p" with it.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Chester, it's been done, man. Above and beyond. And being not a humble man, I am so proud to say I was the instigator.

            Gaze upon our works of glory: http://wonkette.com/418567/brain-ross-magical-cel

            (no actual trolls involved; it was a very convivial thread.)

          • Chet Kincaid

            Jesus, good thing I braced myself against the edge of the desk or I would have been a goner! Sucked into a Tron like world of eternal Wonkette comments. Wait, that's everyday. Nice work!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            On a sadder note, even though the prophesied one-character-column-width comment WAS achieved, the Intense Debate Rapturepocalaypse did not occur. So now all involved have become nihilists.

            Got any weed for us, man?

          • Chet Kincaid

            404 – Stash Not Found!

          • danceswithpalin

            A meta work of art. I am so sorry I missed it!

          • mumbly_joe

            I was personally a fan of this one, which did arise "organically" (i.e from flame wars) : http://wonkette.com/427301/barack-obama-sings-abo

            Granted, he was heavily assisted by the fapfapfapping of the various Breitbots, but still.

          • BarryOPotter

            THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Is that picture blurry because the camera is crying?

    • BarryOPotter

      "I don't want to do this anymore… I just want to get back in the camera bag, have a cry and gently drain my batteries to empty. Please. no mor…"

  • hagajim

    People who spend their lives full of hate go to churches like this because they are awful.

    I thought they were offal.

    • HistoriCat

      They are awful offal.

  • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

    Hey, if you have a God that gets pissed at the world for doing exactly what he created it to do, then sadistically kills himself as a sacrifice to make himself no longer pissed off at himself, can you wonder that his followers are bit retarded?

    • SaintRond

      Makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you?

  • Extemporanus

    Has that sign really been up for the last two years, or has it just taken this long for Pastor Manning to finally figure out how to login to his fucking AOL account?

    • Limeylizzie

      It went up, or something very similar right before the election, then he had one up that was saying Hopey's mother was a white whore and this one went back up about a year or so ago.

      • Extemporanus

        So that sign really is a meat-space analog to those assinine anti-Obama AOL chain emails that somehow refuse to die.

        Any chance you could just hit "Delete" the next time you see it, Lizzie?

        • Limeylizzie

          I wish I could, I did report it to try and get it taken down for violating the separation of church and state but it wasn't considered political! Hmmm just hate speech, I suppose.

          • Chet Kincaid

            From a distance of not looking at this guy's crazy rants again, I can be amused, but back in '08 I was really disturbed by his videos after the initial chuckles. I can't imagine he has a very large congregation, but you only need one lunatic and a rifle. Negroes Did Malcolm X!!11!!

            So I assume this is all because some white girl wouldn't fuck him years ago? Let's all pool our funds and hire some skank to sit on his face, it could avert future difficulties and put him on the road to a healthier outlook on life.

          • Limeylizzie

            I had a strange experience/contact with this “church” a few years ago, I was walking up on 125th and a group of teeenagers ran past, about 8 of them, next thing I know they had grabbed a gold chain from the neck of a young Japanese tourist/student and he was lying bleeding on the street, so I ran over and started to tend to him, as you do, and another youngish man with a clerical collar on came over as well and helped me staunch the bleeding .The poor Japanese boy was so upset, not badly hurt maybe a broken nose and a split lip, so the other guy and I helped him to his feet and he suggested we take him to the closest church, which was Pastor Mannings' on the corner of 123rd, anyway as we helped him in to the lobby Pastor Mannings himself walked up and gave me a really odd look , I can only assume in retrospect , he thought I was plotting some sexual intercourse with an Asian , a black cleric and most of his flock!

          • Limeylizzie

            OK Wonketteerss, I am off to the gym , will take my camera with me, in case there is anything fun going on at ATLAH Church and Hate Festival.

    • BrentKockman

      he was getting a busy signal since Nov 5, 2008 and he just now got "logged on"

      "You've got retard!"

  • SecretMuslin

    With my existing dislike of Archie, Peyton and Eli Manning this just confirms that all Mannings are assholes. I wonder if this Pastor Manning looks like a thumb with a face painted on it?

  • zhubajie

    Wouldn't an anus burger be a sausage? Like a Brat or a Wiener?

  • La_Cieca

    Atlah shrugged.

  • zhubajie

    Well, being Pentecostal means never having to admit your wrong, 'cuz your every wild-hair-up-the-wazoo is a divine revelation! Although G-d has been known to lie to people from time to time, just for sh*ts and g*ggles.

  • zhubajie

    She's Bush in a dress, so, yes, she'd appeal to enough people. As for memory wipe, how many remember the 8 years of Bush the (false) Messiah?

  • largefooted

    This guy calls Sarah Palin a Racist.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    Goddamn it! YOU ALREADY HAD THE TONGUEPUNCHED FARTBOX STORY ON WONKETTE! STOP REPEATING YOURSELVES!

  • Tigersmistress

    I have had it with this Bullshit! That mother of a no-talent, left-footed C*nt is ruining my country. She needs to track her ass back to Alaska and take these ignorant sons of bitches with her. And she can take Texas and Florida too!

    • BrentKockman

      …and Alabama, and Miss'ippi, and Arkansas, and Oklahoma, and Arizona…

  • BeWoot

    Even hyperbolic insults are insufficient for the Palin/Coulter challenge. Just. Plain. Puerile. Shits.

  • neiltheblaze

    I gotta say. That was a thing of beauty.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Hussein? Ussain? Sarah doesn't do sane.

  • neiltheblaze

    Sarah's next book – she and the Pastor will be getting together to write "The Teatard Manual of Style".

    • kenlayisalive

      fantastic. We'll finally discover what a curly-brace, followed by a small d and small g, and then three more curly braces, means.

  • HedonismBot

    Off topic, but it needs to be said: Mitch McConnell looks like a puffy-faced old woman.

    • easynewz

      I like Colbert's 'human-turtle hybrid' description. Also, too.

      • Limeylizzie

        Mr Limeylizzie calls him Grammy McConnell.

      • BeWoot

        He's a dead ringer for that ancient cartoon character, Tooter the Turtle.

  • W88

    No snark.

    Sarah Palin is a f*cking c*nt.

    • undeterredbyreality

      I think something's wrong with your "u" key.

    • kenlayisalive

      this is wonkette. You can call her a fucking cunt. Hell, you can call her a FUCKING CUNT. And if you want to get really crazy, you do a little Sarah Palin is a FUCKING CUNT!

      Now, how you erase these things after she becomes president and guys dressed up like Paul Revere are going door to door killing Wonketeers, that I'm not so sure about.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Not to worry. By 2012 teh Wonkettes will have moved to yet another cut rate interwebs messaging forum and all comments will (yet again) have been lost in the æther.

        Knock yourself out.

        • HistoriCat

          So you're saying all my hard work trying (and usually failing) to come up with witty repartee is for naught? That's almost as depressing as the election.

  • Barrelhse

    Christ on fucking toast. THAT explains my sudden interest in Congregation Genocide Methods.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    It's funny to me because Sarah Palin is retarded by making fun of a guy in part because his name is Hussein instead of something common like Piper.

    • elpinche

      Or Trickle…..i hate little twerp.

      • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

        Trickle was going to be her baby's full name but most of him ran down her leg, leaving only a Trig.

  • fatoots

    I am letting my husband buy a gun, half to placate him to not be a Daddy Downer on my drinking. Plus, we'll need it for the upcoming civil war.

  • JackObin

    Jeez. I wonder how they feel about Little Georgie Bush, what with the drinking and illegal invasions and stuff.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I swear, some afternoons I just don't wanna get out of bed.

    For me, It's all a matter of whom I am in bed with.

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Isn't Jesus' blood alcoholic? That would explain why the Muslins hate it cause they don't like the liquor.
    Or is that just a Catholic thing?

  • Chet Kincaid

    Malcolm X wept.

    • HistoriCat

      I thought he would get angry, then deliver a kick-ass speech.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Dude, you have no Koran.

  • Radiotherapy

    Haha. Palin just UnFavorited her Twitter page — yeah Sarah that'll make it go away. What a twat.

  • iburl

    I think the baby was supposed to teach them empathy, caring, and compassion, so yes, utter fail.

  • Radiotherapy

    Dr. Paul was probably their eye doctor. The fuck can't even see how bad his toupee is.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    I fucking hate fucking religion. Hey Pastor Manning! Someday I'm hopeful we can scientifically engineer people like you right into oblivion at the embryonic level. Somewhere in our junky genetic miasma there has to be a religious dickhead gene (RD) that still expresses itself. Find that sucker and blammo. Problem solved.

    I need more wine.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You viewpoint is valid, but the other side of the 'nature' argument is "nurture." Say this Manning freak was adopted at an early age by some liberal atheist mixed race couple in San Jose, when he was 18 months old. He'd probably be a a bigwig in the silicon valley venture capital game by now or a TV sports announcer and hall of fame catcher recently retired from a long career in the National League.

    • zhubajie

      Sorry, the irreligious are just as bad. Look at 20th century history, esp. the commie movement. Be against violence,that's more practical.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Is a Taliban Muslim better than, worse than or the same as a Muslim Taliban?

    I guess I should ask Rev. Manning.

    And axe Sarah Palin.

  • Toomush_Infer

    All right, that's it – I'm starting a new school to teach libtards the art of namecalling…after great research, it appears that Wonkette is the only place other than the Heritage Foundation able to provide adequate teaching staff….any applicants…? Please send me a one page pejorative on Mitch McConnell, the Weeping Orange Bootstrapper, or any Teabagger of your choice (no Palin's please – too easy)…

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    From time to time, the Tree of Liberty must be fertilized with the fetid diarrhea of demented religious hucksters.

  • x111e7thst

    "Ann Coulter, who first retweeted this image, said this is “my new church,” because she is awful."
    Given Pastor Manning's well known views on low rent white sluts trying to make sweet jungle love to Black Men, and further given what we can assume to be his views on trannies, I'm pretty sure that will not turn out well.

    • Chet Kincaid

      No, it will turn out hilariously!

  • CUNextTuesday

    I can haz werd salid?

    • nachoproblem

      I made u a talking point, but I eated it.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Yeah….um…..nope, my snark is just fucking gone….

  • Negropolis

    Self-hating negro say's what?

    You know, I'm thinking over the next two years, we need some Stewart-esque mini-rallies based at spots JUST like this one. Ones with so much snark that it'll rip a hole in the space-time continuum.

    • Limeylizzie

      Oh yes, come to my neighbourhood Wonketteers, we can all walk down Lenox/Malcolm X to rally at the sign, takes about 6 minutes from my place , we can fortify ourselves with delicious cupcakes at Teeny's en route!

      • HistoriCat

        Excellent. Although we'll never hear about it on the actual Wonkette site after the event (I'm looking at you, Halloween party).

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Pacific Asians made Sarah uncomfortable, that made her quit her first college. We know how she feels about the full blacks and half blacks. . .

    Friday, January 08, 2010
    Fed judge dismisses Juneteenth lawsuit against Palin
    By Rachel D'oro | The Associated Press

    ANCHORAGE – A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit against former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin that alleged she violated the plaintiffs' constitutional rights by failing to issue a proclamation in 2007 for a celebration commemorating the freeing of U.S. slaves.

    Plaintiffs say they just learned the Juneteenth proclamation was issued – as required by state law – retroactively just before Palin's July resignation.

    Plaintiff Gregory Charles Royal of Washington, D.C., said it was needlessly dragged through the court system for months.

    "I liken it to saying someone took 10 bucks from you wrongly, and you say we'll take you to court to get the $10 back, then months later you find out they put the money in your pocket back without telling you," Royal said Thursday. "We're glad the proclamation is issued. But why not just tell us this months ago?"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Because petty lying bitch is why.

    • Oppenheiner

      Damages were assessed at tenish dollars.

  • valgal2342

    I think the sound bite from Palin's Emmy winning documentary on Alaska exclaiming how much she prefers being out in the wild where she can be free instead of being stuck in some stuffy old political office will be priceless in 2012. Oh wait, isn't that when the world is supposed to end?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      That contrived and pithy flippin lil revelation wasn't even coherent.

      "I'd rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office." – Okay, what?!

  • Radiotherapy

    from palingates:
    In an e-mail to Jake Tapper trying to explain this away:

    “Jake, I've never purposefully ‘favorited’ any Tweet. I had to go back to my BlackBerry to even see if such a function was possible. I was traveling to Alaska that day…it was an obvious accidental ‘favoriting,’ but no one can mistake that Ann Coulter was obviously being tongue in cheek with that Tweet. Shall I correct this with whichever wonderful media outlet ran with this (an obviously bored reporter…since there must be nothing going on in the world today, like, um, ramifications of a shake up of power in the U.S. House of Representatives?).”

    I guess her tapper was jaked. And her full-time damage control consultant earned their money tonight. Because there is no way she typed such a cogent, if deplorable, statement.
    And Coulter with the tongue punching in the fart box cheeks again.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      If she was any kind of a political leader she'd have denounced the sign and the nutbag who put it up there. But no, it's all about the liberal media fucking with her.

    • nachoproblem

      They do a fairly good impression of Palinese snotty pseudo-colloquialism, even if this is unusually syntactic. In any case, she knows it's time for spin control because she probably realizes exactly how boring those ramifications are, even if she's pretending to be ironic, like rain on your wedding day.

    • Negropolis

      You know it's bad when Jake Tapper is doing this. Man, him and Chip Reid are two of the most worthless "journalist" in the business, and that's including folks from Fox News.

  • transfatz

    World Extreme Cagefighting®
    The Blood Of Jesus against Obama!
    Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

  • nachoproblem

    WTF, did they just copy the tags applet from the church website onto the sign board?

    And lawlz, because Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter just endorsed the Revered Pimp Daddy. Also.

  • Negropolis

    Kind of off-topic, but who are your picks for the four horsemen of the Teapacolypse?

    • Radiotherapy

      Putin, Palin, Paul and Perry

  • SaintRond

    We can make light of it all we want, but it only beguiles us from the fact that we're fucked. We are so fucked, we're double fucked. And not just double fucked but double fucked really, really hard too. And it's going to go on forever, no matter what happens in 2012 because these people are going to double fuck things up so bad we'll never crawl out of the hole they're digging for us.

    Which makes me ask myself, when will I be able to laugh again? Answer me that? Because I really want to know, okay? But the only one who can answer that is Jesus and he's not talking.

    • zhubajie

      This has been building up for the last 60 years, the whole of the Cold War. Electing a demonic admin instead of a reptilian one makes no difference. We have still wasted two generations on constant warfare. We still do not study science and math in grade school, let alone high school or college. Instead, we fight to teach Creation science, Flood Geology, probably pi = 3 because II Kings says so. We keep on making more enemies everywhere.

  • BrentKockman

    do you think all these fucktards coming over from Big Government realize they are just helping Wonkette get rich off advertising. And they think the rest of us give a shit that they vote down our pee points. 5k+ views on several stories a day.

    I would say we need to take our wonkette back, but I want our friends to make the monies!

  • BarryOPotter

    "The Lord took me aside and told me how to get you guys in, but it's going to cost you. Dearly…"

  • PresBeeblebrox

    Hey, wait a second. The Association of Trial Lawyers of America changed its name years ago to the American Association for Justice.

  • jonzin

    Is it wrong to fantasize about donkey punching Sarah?

  • BarryOPotter

    Assuming she plans on appealing to more than just the racist homophobic inbred fucktard psychopath demographic…

    I don't think she does plan to broaden her appeal. To do so would not be in line with The Way of the Grifter. By staying on message, or even radicalizing it, she will solidify her base, not necessarily to win an election for herself ("this AK governor gig sucks balls, Todd. Where's the money?"), but to galvanize her hateful followers to part with their cash in support of the various activities of The Palin Family Scheming Corp.

    The Snowbilly has found her niche in life, her passion, if you will, and it is grifting 'Murikkka. If she must be a vile human being to make is so, then so be it.

    "Here at Palin FSC, we know that money can't buy happiness, but poverty sucks. For you! Hahahhaahah (oh wait, is that mic on…)"

  • MistaEko

    Atlah Shrugged

  • zhubajie

    Nah, the history of Xty is one millenial movement after another. Noone cares about Joachim of Fiore and the ages of the Father, the Sonand the Holy Ghost anymore. Rapturism will die out and a centurylater something else at least as stupid will come along.Not that irreligious are better.