FUNNY PICTURES  1:53 pm November 4, 2010

One of These Two Images Is John Boehner On the Cover of Time Magazine

by Jack Stuef

Will have similar success at the box office.
But which one? [Politico]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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obfuscator2 November 4, 2010 at 1:59 pm

i haven't seen such a leaky boehner since i contracted the clap in college.

Extemporanus November 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Did your frat bros elect you "Weeper of the House", too?

obfuscator2 November 4, 2010 at 4:47 pm

brett favre is glad that awrinkled old boehner besides his is in the news.

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 2:03 pm

John is soooo cute! That knowing smile, those watery eyes, that leathery complexion, that clever forward comb-over, that soured cottage cheese skin. Just makes you want to pick him up and hug him, real close, real tight……until he stops trying to breathe.

x111e7thst November 4, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Stop it, you are getting me all excited..

widestanceroman November 4, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Was it briefly enrapturing for you, too?

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Millions of Americans chubb up at the prospect, I'm sure.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 4, 2010 at 3:43 pm

I love a happy ending.

petehammer November 4, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Dear Lord, how dare you remind me of that abomination! I have tried to scrub it from my mind! Over-the-top, unfunny, mugging, scary to children, terrible imagery, lowest-common-denominator and supposedly he's a horrible person to work with.

As to the Cat in the Hat, I haven't seen it.

(Easy joke, I know)

freakishlywrong November 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Jesus! He looks like a child molesting sociopath. Oh, wait.

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Asshat, Cat in the Hat… potato, potahto.

Sue4466 November 5, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Cat in the Asshat?

OkieDokieDog November 4, 2010 at 2:10 pm

I've already starting praying to Jebus for a sex scandal.

SmutBoffin November 4, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I would also pray to Jeebus to spare us the details of said scandal.

LetUsBray November 6, 2010 at 12:03 am

Look for rent boys with Cheeto-stained lips, I guess.

Kidneys4Sale November 4, 2010 at 2:15 pm

For the moment, he's just pleased to see you struggle against the leather straps. This relative paradise will not last.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm

I'd love to paraphrase some Seuss in here, but 45 years is just too long ago to remember.

kenlayisalive November 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I believe it was his classic "Orange Boners and Ham Biscuits" that comes to mind.

natoslug November 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm

I do not like him, Sam I am. I do not like him on a boat. I do not like him, dead in a moat. I do not like him in the senate. I do not like him, I really mean it. (work with me here, I've got nothing but assonance)

update: Okay, should have been House, rhymes with assful of mouse. Gah!

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 2:30 pm

My mother always said: Better an assonance than a faulty dictum.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Bedtime story time must have been a little peculiar in your household.

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 6:15 pm

"a faulty dictum", ummm maybe that's the problem described in "Till the Eagle Screams".

Not_So_Much November 4, 2010 at 2:21 pm

And tears. Mostly tears as he weeps deep, burnt umber tears of empathy for 'Murka.

Katydid November 4, 2010 at 2:32 pm

I think Boner is more like that other Seuss favorite:

The Grinch hated Health Care! The whole Health Care Bill!
Now, please don't ask why. Everyone knows he is ill.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

CapeClod November 4, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Actually, I think he's compensating for another undersized part of his anatomy.

Oblios_Cap November 4, 2010 at 2:36 pm

I smile like that after a three day bender, too. The light tends to hurt my eyes.

I heard Boner really wanted to be the Majority Whip until he found up they don't really get to whip people.

nounverb911 November 4, 2010 at 2:40 pm

This one seems more appropriate.

SexySmurf November 4, 2010 at 2:43 pm

They should put this picture next to "shit-eating grin" in the dictionary.

RedneckMuslin November 4, 2010 at 2:45 pm

I'm still waiting for him to explain the sexually-asphyxiated body they found under his house. You all did hear about that, didn't you?

WordSaladNation November 4, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Did they carbon date the body? Has it been there since 1990? MAYBE GLENN BECK HAD AN ACCOMPLICE?!?!?

SwattieSwat November 4, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Under all of that melanoma, you can still see the hate. And that's what I voted for, that twinkle of hate under the warm veneer of Stage Sunny-D skin cancer.

Oblios_Cap November 4, 2010 at 3:00 pm

He should have been named Julius.

SayItWithWookies November 4, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Let's not talk up his likeable qualities yet — we're working up to a good frothy loathing.

SayItWithWookies November 4, 2010 at 3:02 pm

How John Boehner Will Rule the House

Probably with an orange fist.

CapeClod November 4, 2010 at 3:14 pm

If there is ever a more likely picture of a level three sex offender, its the one on the left.

DingusMcHatred November 4, 2010 at 3:42 pm

Some are sad. And some are glad. And some are very, very bad. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know. Go ask that orange shithead over there.

My_pal_HAL November 4, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Coming soon, his autobiography: Orange Like Me.

ReturnToMetal November 4, 2010 at 5:32 pm

One is a stupid actor who makes himself up to look like something he's not.

The other is Mike Myers as The Cat in the Hat.

Beowoof November 4, 2010 at 5:51 pm

And I thought from the head line I would see a picture of two different bottles of Summer's Eve.

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Needz moar Botox. LOTS moar.

snoopyfan2010 November 4, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Faux news is now reporting that the market is doing well and banks are lending money again. So soon???

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 11:13 pm

He's…he's…smizing! Thank you, Tyra Banks.

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 11:18 pm

I'm just glad we weren't subjected to a close-up of Mitch McConnell. Dude looks like a reconstructed burn victim with all types of Bells Palsy ravaging his visage.

How he ever ended up with Elaine Chao, I do not know.

Kidneys4Sale November 5, 2010 at 1:13 am

Well, dude takes a hard line against stem cells and whatnot, so as a Rethug it stands to reason he had her cloned.

Negropolis November 5, 2010 at 1:50 am

Probably, though, it does beg the questions of why he also didn't use them to repair his Sith Lord mask. His face muscles and skin look like they've detatched from his skull.

nachoproblem November 5, 2010 at 12:53 am

Well! I personally find "The Cunt in the Hat" to be a HIGHLY OFFENSIVE title for… Uh, what? You mean it's not called the… ? Oh well, whatever.

Kidneys4Sale November 5, 2010 at 1:11 am

And will the Conservos all claim that that haircut is perfect for running and that there are no pantyhose here, still, also?

carlgt1 November 5, 2010 at 2:32 am

one fish
two fish
red fish
orange fish?

mrblifil November 5, 2010 at 11:55 am

It's high time we celebrated bilious Caucasianness again. This is a conversation that America needs to have.

ktr November 5, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Wow. Every single one of the above comments are either hateful or stupidly immature. Pathetic. I would love to post a picture of every one of you and see what people write about your appearance.

AlexisHidell November 5, 2010 at 3:26 pm

ktr = Karl "Troll" Rove?

Trinket November 5, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Stop trying to elevate our discourse, grumpy.

ktr November 5, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Ha Ha! Yes, you are right, I am grumpy. But people always complain that our politicians are idiots, yet who in their right mind would want to run for office when they are subjected to this kind of crap?

Trinket November 6, 2010 at 1:07 am

You get a point for being good-natured. :) But you lose a point for being a right-wing tool. Who expects to run for office and not get subjected to this crap?

ktr November 6, 2010 at 11:26 am

Enjoy the swamp! I love the word tool… perfect for some people.

SFH15963 November 7, 2010 at 3:32 pm

It's a post comparing how John Boehner looks slightly like the Cat in the Hat. Did you expect commentary akin to the writings of Thomas Paine or the letter from St. Paul to the Romans?

Lighten up, Francis.

Trinket November 5, 2010 at 5:04 pm

I've always thought John Boehner looks like the love child of Thurston Howell III and Huckleberry Hound.

SFH15963 November 7, 2010 at 3:24 pm

THIS car looks like Boehner:

(it's ORANGE too!)

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