NEEDS MORE HAM BISCUITS  10:41 am November 4, 2010

Everyone In GOP Mad At Jim DeMint For Losing Senate

by Jack Stuef

'What are you talking about? These boys will run well in coastal states.'The Republican Party has taken a step back from their sweeping victory in America’s ultimate, #1, super repudiation of big government to wonder why, in fact, they didn’t take control of BOTH halves of our two-headed legislative branch; the answer to this conundrum can only be that Jim DeMint is a stupid face. Jim DeMint, you see, gave out all his money (you cannot beat a Daoist by spending money) to Teabagger candidates who went on to win primaries, and then a whole bunch of these people lost in the general election despite being loveably insane. If the party hadn’t nominated complete crazies in Nevada, Delaware, and Colorado, the thinking goes, they could at least have split the Senate. Of course, the natural response to this argument is that Republican candidates were not crazy enough.

“Candidates matter,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.). “It was a good night for Republicans but it could have been a better one. We left some on the table.”

It’s like going to church and leaving half a pile of ham biscuits still just sittin’ out there. Sure, you got some ham biscuits in you. But you’re just going to sit through church thinking about ham biscuits the whole time, and how they’re not going to be as good if they’re cold. Just thinking about those ham biscuits over and over. And cock.

Comfort us, dad.

Rush Limbaugh, taking issue with a statement Karl Rove made Tuesday night about the “lesson” learned in nominating O’Donnell, argued that both Angle and O’Donnell lost because they were abandoned by party elites.

“Christine O’Donnell could have won were it not for all the backbiting after her primary victory,” Limbaugh said on his radio show Wednesday. “Had the party gotten behind her, had [RNC Chairman Michael] Steele had some on-the-ground money for Nevada, who knows how that might have turned out. We didn’t have any money on the ground in Nevada.”

That doesn’t make any sense, because Sharron Angle had lots of money to run ads and build an organization once people realized she didn’t have any; and also, obviously, c’mon, Christine O’Donnell? But it sounds nice! It sounds nice that the Republican Party lost because it didn’t believe in their craziest ideologues enough.

But according to George Will, Americans HATE any sort of government in their lives at all, so Republicans won approximately every election on Tuesday. So this quibbling doesn’t make any sense. You guys do control everything now, right? George Will said America decided. [The Grand Old Red White and Blue]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 196 comments }

anniegetyourfun November 4, 2010 at 10:45 am

So, I am not the only one for whom church consisted of thinking of food and cock? I mean, besides me and Father Dorian?

widestanceroman November 4, 2010 at 10:56 am

Churches, family gatherings, meetings, pretending to be the sleeping passenger–all excellent windows of opportunity to ponder cock, something I've known since I was a child.

Bonzos_Bed_Time November 4, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Any time for wine in there?

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Nothing so exciting for me. My Lutheran parents were still pretending sex didn't exist when I got out of the Navy!

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Lutheran food is not something to dream about and I didn't trust my classmates enough to suggest or accept sex with any of them.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 10:46 am

“Christine O’Donnell could have won were it not for all the backbiting after her primary victory,” Limbaugh said on his radio show Wednesday. “Had the party gotten behind her, had [RNC Chairman Michael] Steele had some on-the-ground money for Nevada, who knows how that might have turned out."

And then I break out the old saw, "If my aunt had gonads, she'd be my uncle!!"

Preferred Customer November 4, 2010 at 10:50 am

If only more people had voted for Christine than Chris Coons, she had a good shot at winning that election.

Steverino247 November 4, 2010 at 11:39 am

Actually, your aunt does have gonads, they're just called ovaries in females and they don't swing along between her legs when she walks.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 11:54 am

Just my luck to post here amongst the anatomy majors.

Steverino247 November 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Well, she could have had them removed along with her uterus, I suppose. So, WIN!!!

jqheywood November 4, 2010 at 11:44 am

Actually, your Aunt did have gonads…they're called ovaries. Perhaps you meant testicles, or balls, nuts, garbanzos, huevos, etc.?

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:18 pm

I believe Vladimir Putin has been known to say "if Grandma had balls, she'd be Grandpa."

hockeymom November 4, 2010 at 10:48 am

Clearly, these people did not hate ENOUGH.

magic_titty November 4, 2010 at 10:48 am

Rush seems like he knows a thing or two about getting behind a woman and backbiting until you leave some money on the ground in Nevada.

mereoblivion November 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

"Soph', ya got no tits and a tight box!"
"Louis, will ya get off my back?!?"

SecretMuslin November 4, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Replace "woman" with "underaged rentboy" and "Nevada" with "Peurto Rico" and I think you've nailed it.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:20 pm

I thought he'd emigrated to Costa Rica?

nicnack74 November 4, 2010 at 10:48 am

This what I don't understand about Republicans. They don't believe in government, so they run for government positions to reinforce, dismantle, and benefit from the very thing they revile. It makes no sense.

*not a criticism, just an observation*

HedonismBot November 4, 2010 at 10:50 am

This is why they will never cut taxes completely. How can they run on taxcutstaxcutstaxcuts if there are no taxes to cut?

anniegetyourfun November 4, 2010 at 10:59 am

Oh, well, surely they'll take a pay cut. Right?

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 11:09 am

That's the same reason I've never been too worried about them actually undoing Roe v. Wade; it removes abortion's usefulness as a wedge for the forces of evil.

CrankyLttlCamperette November 4, 2010 at 11:29 am

I've been saying this for years. The Republicans need to keep Roe v. Wade in place almost as much as the Dems do.

snoopyfan2010 November 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm

True. That would be a good strategy for the Dems. Call their bluff.

Ducksworthy November 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Also, abortion. Without abortion where would they be…oh shit, they would go on a campaign to outlaw masturbation wouldn't they. Never mind.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:28 pm

No abortion would mean they'd all be embarrassed when their bastards are discovered! Think about Strom Thurmond!

GOPCrusher November 4, 2010 at 1:54 pm

The overwhelming message in political ads this season was running for a political position against "A Career Politician". How many Republiklans are still in office now after winning election in 94 while calling for term limits?

TomtheBunny November 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm

And by saying, "I'm in favor of small government," what they mean is, I'm in favor of getting rid of any government agency that doesn't immediately benefit me. As Mark Shields says, "Everyone 's in favor of less government, but let a bad can of tuna show up in the grocery store, and all of a sudden, it's 'Where's the government and why aren't they doing something about this?'" Up here in the Socialist Republic of Alaska, it's bitch, bitch, bitch about taxes, (almost nonexistent), collect the Permanent Fund Dividend every year, ($1200 this year), then when the local river changes course and starts eating away at your tax-free riverfront property, raise bloody hell because the government is out there RIGHT FUCKING NOW with a tram of engineers and earth-moving equipment. Assholes.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:21 pm

They plan to enrich themselves, while telling the rubes what they want to hear. Just like all con-men and preachers. Rand Paul already has a private account in Lichtenstein, I'll bet.

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 10:48 am

So Rush thinks Christine would've won if she had more money to run more ad than the one run every single fucking ad break on every single station in the Philadelphia market for the past week that she did have?

chicken_thief November 4, 2010 at 11:01 am

How much did Whitman and Fiorino spend? Sometimes, it does pay to just cut your loses..

PublicLuxury November 4, 2010 at 12:14 pm

Rush just wanted to hit that.

GOPCrusher November 4, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Linda McMahon spent 36 dollars for every vote she received.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Maybe she should have promised her (supposed) virginity to the voter who put her over the top!

HedonismBot November 4, 2010 at 10:49 am

Next time, go full retard.

Beetagger November 4, 2010 at 10:59 am

She did.

Not_So_Much November 4, 2010 at 11:08 am

'You muh-muh-muh-muh-make me hap-peee!'

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 12:53 pm

I'll see Christine tonight, in my head movies!

fatoots November 4, 2010 at 10:50 am

It’s like going to church and leaving half a pile of ham biscuits still just sittin’ out there. Sure, you got some ham biscuits in you. But you’re just going to sit through church thinking about ham biscuits the whole time, and how they’re not going to be as good cold. Just thinking about those ham biscuits over and over. And cock.

Stuef if I wasn't already married and twice your age I'd have your babies.

chicken_thief November 4, 2010 at 11:03 am

Cain't let ham biskuts go cold – there's kids starvin in Africuh!

WordSaladNation November 4, 2010 at 10:50 am

Sure, you got some ham biscuits in you.

Are you telling those poor boys to watch out for Jim DeMint's ham biscuits? Because you probably should.

EDIT: "Ham biscuits" = penis

EDIT: And/or moobs.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 10:58 am

Ummm… the other day I had a ricochet biscuit. A ricochet biscuit is the
Kind of a biscuit that's supposed to bounce back off the wall into your
Mouth. If it don't bounce back, hee hee hee,… you go hungry!
Bow bow bow…

mumbly_joe November 4, 2010 at 10:50 am

I'm honestly pretty sure the RNC's money was better spent on Guam.

And lesbian bondage etc, obvz.

Lost_Teabaggers November 4, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Don't forget the North Marianas, that's like being around Dubya and forgetting Poland. MMMM forced labor making clothes for the gap during the day, then forced stripping and/or forced sex with disgusting old white men at night; oh and I forgot the textile company forcing the women to get abortions, freedumb and libartay!. Tom Delay did once declare the North Marianas as "everything that's right with the Republican Party" he believed this so much he blocked anyone and everyone including his own party from investigating. Jim Demint reminds of a cross between Jefferson Davis and Tom Delay, anyone else?

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 4:02 pm

And who's the Senator from the North Marianas? Oh right, Jack Abramoff. How could I forget?

Pop_Socket November 4, 2010 at 10:52 am

Jim DeMint is the Emperor Palpatine of the Republican Party. Even among evil bastards, he is scary.

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 4:05 pm

If I was Fort Sumter, I would duck!

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

DeMint, O'Donnell, Angle, Steele, Limbaugh? What is this; how many crazies can you stuff into one short piece? If so, this has got the be the winner.

fatoots November 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

Needs moar Bachmann and Beck

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 11:10 am

Unt Buchanan, mein Fhurer!

Texan_Bulldog November 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

Lindsey better shut his pie hole & hide out in the bat cave with his side kick Walnuts. Tea Partiers will be gunning for him because he's somewhat sane & reasonable … and the whole ghey thing.

CapeClod November 4, 2010 at 11:18 am

I think it's a ham biscuit hole.

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 11:33 am

Oh, Politico's already started beating that drum so fast it sounds like a Lady Gaga remix.

Clancy_Pants November 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

Don't put money on the ground in Nevada put it on hard 6 and leave it "on" during the come-out roll.

mrpuma2u November 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

YES! Oxycontin blob is RIGHT! Needz more crazy tea bagger cowbellz!!!! If they get behind these 2 digit IQ, batshit crazy unqualified candidates, they will win. Then they will have their patsy in office who will do/vote for whatever crazy shit they tell them to. Makes sense to me.

doxastic November 4, 2010 at 11:20 am

Really, we should do anything possible to encourage them. For example, I think that questioning fluoridation of the water supply is a winner in 2012…

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Just wait until Bachman starts her House Committee to Investigate Un-American Activities.

metamarcisf November 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

Where am I? What day is it? Thursday?! Oh shit, I forgot to Vote!

Clancy_Pants November 4, 2010 at 10:57 am

Dude! What happened to your p-value? You trolling right wing sites and pissing people off?

Beetagger November 4, 2010 at 11:00 am

Badge of honor.

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 11:35 am

He takes on BigGovernment so we don't have to.

Clancy_Pants November 4, 2010 at 1:30 pm

My pee was red but 5 days of augmentin cleared it right up.

Lost_Teabaggers November 4, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Wow if we measured P-value by your ability to troll right wing sites and incite wingnut web hatred you'd be Audie fuckin' Murphy or Tom Berenger in Platoon. I didn't realize until right now that it carries over from site to site so when I saw that massively negative value on wonkette…I was thinking "troll" and I was half right apparently except you troll them so we don't have to. Actually to continue my fake war movie hero line…wouldn't that make you more Willem Dafoe in Platoon?

metamarcisf November 4, 2010 at 3:23 pm

Think of me as Heath Ledger in "The Patriot", zonked on Xanax

metamarcisf November 4, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Think of me as Heath Ledger in "The Patriot", zonked on benzodiazapines

di_da_is_alpha November 4, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Actually, I think of you as Oddball in Kelly's Heros. Only without a tank. Or wine and cheese. Or a sense of humor. But I bet you can bark.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:30 pm

I'm sure that's what a lot of potheads are saying in California!

CapeClod November 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

Yes indeed, backing Christine O'Donnell was Jim DeMint's Waterloo.

Lost_Teabaggers November 4, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Yes and when John Boehner speaks about principals he's talking about massive amounts of booze, spray on orange bronzer and corporate paid for golf trips; as American as Apple Pie

Bluestatelibel November 4, 2010 at 10:56 am

Let the night of the long knives begin.

kenlayisalive November 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm

All those buffoons on BriefFart are talking about how they hate Boehner and want Bachmann to fight for Speaker.

Would be so sweet to see a vicious, party-obliterating, battle over that. Then of course we've got the Mittens – Palin death match to watch.

Could be fun!

GOPCrusher November 4, 2010 at 2:53 pm

I sincerely hope that from January to about March is a full blown battle between the Batshyt Crazy and Just Crazy wings of the Republiklan Party for control. And I hope the American Public get a really good look at it.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Amen and amen!

SnarkoMarx November 4, 2010 at 10:57 am

Gee, Rush. If you love Christine O'Donnell so much why don't you marry her? Oh, because she's not an eleven year old boy.

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 11:14 am

Christine's only about twenty years younger than Rush, which based on his marital history is far, far too old for him.

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 4:10 pm

When they got the hair,

down there,

you don't dare.

e.e. cummings

JoshuaNorton November 4, 2010 at 10:58 am

Everything now is "teabaggers, teabaggers, teabaggers". What ever happened to the Neocons? It's damned near impossible to tell one crazy assed wingnut from another without a program.

V572625694 November 4, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Neocons are chickenhawk friends of Israel, who actually held power for a while, thanks to the military industrial complex, GWB & five Supreme Court Republicans. The damage they caused to every fucking thing is still going on. Think Wolfowitz, Feith, Gladney, Kristol, etc. Their greed and racism was veneered with pseudo-intellectual claptrap about The Bush Doctrine, hahahaha…

Teabaggers are dipshit racists who can't stand to have an African-American president. Their racism is next to naked.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I'm sure they're lying low, plotting how to persuade the T-tards that a war with Iran will be sure to bring the Rapture this time!

freakishlywrong November 4, 2010 at 10:58 am

BRB. Googling "jobs in Canada".

marinmaven November 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

I am shooting for France. I guess we can go to Canada to give us breathing room to learn French then onto France. I require perfume boutiques, cafes, tasty food, and fine wine.

mumbly_joe November 4, 2010 at 11:21 am

Sorry, both Canada and France have their massive issues lately- France has developed a hard-on for deporting and oppressing their Ethnics, and Harper seems to love shutting down the Canadian government, every time they're due to hold new elections.

I'm aiming for Costa Rica, myself, honestly. Also good food and socialized medicine, and none of my Ameros would go to death robots or torture prisons anymore, since they disbanded their military years ago.

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 11:37 am

The only minus to Costa Rica? It's where Rushbo goes to replenish his stable of underage male prostitutes.

marinmaven November 4, 2010 at 11:45 am

Then maybe I need to consider Sweden, since I hate heat and large bugs. Antarctica is also on my list. I guess i can always bring my perfumes with me, but I will take a hit in the food department since I still haven't developed the taste for herring.

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 12:04 pm

Maybe we can try to pressure people to step up the Mars colonization plans.
http://wonkette.com/428435/who-wants-to-retire-on

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Norway, unfortunately, is not as generous with passports to grandsons of emigrants as Ireland is. :-(

V572625694 November 4, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Panama too, now! Another triumph for the Bush family!

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm

France has developed a hard-on for deporting and oppressing their Ethnics

So don't be ethnic; what the problem? Just think of those fresh baked croissants…. mmm.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:35 pm

An American in France is definitely an ethnic. Join the Foreign Legion, if you're fit and have a lot of patience for military BS.

jim89048 November 4, 2010 at 3:55 pm

+1 Must. Learn. Spanish.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Latin America is probably your best bet, if you're serious about emigrating. Brazil is definitely a rising country. Learn Portuguese and the samba!

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Unfortunately Canada's economy is siamese twins with the US'.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Just the other day, I learned that China is making all us foreign teachers take some kind of on-line exam. I suspect a lot of trouble-makers will not get visas renewed next year. Hopefully, it'll be all missionaries disguised as English teachers, but I fear it'll be those of us who are not proponents of the "health&wealth gospel" and "that's what they do in America" BS.

But as Pu Jie used to say, when he stamped visitors' passports, "you never know what will happen in China!"

Anyway, if you've a lot of patience and can-do spirit, and a high tolerance for confusion and absurdity, China might be a good refuge. But if you're the typical cry-baby, stay away.

mumbly_joe November 4, 2010 at 10:59 am

I can see how having more ad money would have helped out Xtine a bit- after all, her ads doubtlessly reached many voters, but was every voter know that she was Not a Witch, and also that she was You? Perhaps not!

PresBeeblebrox November 4, 2010 at 9:33 pm

Right, I would have gotten 10 Xtine mailers a day instead of just 5.

refudiatedness November 4, 2010 at 11:00 am

DeMint doesn't make defeat taste any less bitter.

Gratuitous World November 4, 2010 at 11:00 am

graham should take it up with DeMint's boss, Mr. J. Christ. He'll be back in the office a couple days from now.

Serolf_Divad November 4, 2010 at 11:01 am

Rush Limbaugh, taking issue with a statement Karl Rove made Tuesday night about the “lesson” learned in nominating O’Donnell, argued that both Angle and O’Donnell lost because they were abandoned by party elites.

Wow, we're slicing that non-elite piece of the pie ever thinner aren't we? How long before the only non-elites left in this country are Nazi reenactors and the snake-handling faith healers whose churches they attend?

Mindblank November 4, 2010 at 11:08 am

Snakes are tricky, so the non-elite would only include the gerbil-breeders.

doxastic November 4, 2010 at 11:23 am

Yeah, snake handlers probably get the business-end of natural selection too often to build a sustained movement.

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Cool, I've always wanted to be an elite. I just didn't know it was going to be so easy.

OneYieldRegular November 4, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Clearly it's elitist not to support people who make thinly veiled assassination threats and who can't recognize the 1st amendment even when it's read out loud to them. If you're not lending your full support to stupidity and violence, you're obviously not a real American.

TakingAmes November 4, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I think it's come to a point where you're elite if you read for fun and have ever lived in a town larger than Paducah, KY.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:01 pm

You always knew those were the real Americans, didn't you?

binarian November 4, 2010 at 11:02 am

I like how DeMint has advised freshman senators NOT to be sucked into committee memberships, 'cause they might be subverted by the mere fact of being a part of an a group whose aim is to get things done.
http://www.slate.com/id/2273504?wpisrc=xs_wp_0001

chicken_thief November 4, 2010 at 11:05 am

Are we giving Lumberjack Joe a break for now, least til they start trying to decipher all the variations of "Murkowski"?

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 11:05 am

47% of Texas voters said they have a "favorable view" of the Tea Party when asked on exit polls – the highest in the nation. I LIVE IN HELLL!!!11!1! That is all.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 11:18 am

Yer not alone, brother. In which circle do you reside? It's mostly 8.3, 8.6, and 8.10 down here in the San Antonio exurbs. http://www.wsu.edu/~alake/the_circles_of_hell.htm

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 11:25 am

I would have to say, since "W" moved into town – we pretty much encompass the whole fucking enchilada! But, I would venture #3 (Dallas – 3rd fattest city in the nation), 8.3 and 8.6 would fit nicely.

HistoriCat November 4, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Houston here:
Circle 3 for sure (are we still #1 in fattest city?)
probably Circle 4 (we're all about waste – at least when it comes to transportation)
Circle 2 – we have plenty of strip clubs
Oh hell, we'll just claim parts of all the sections in 7 and 8

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 12:23 pm

You also have 41, so it's pretty much the brimstone buffet for you guys as well!

Lascauxcaveman November 4, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Interesting diagrams. I noticed the innermost circle of Lower Hell was reserved for "The Giants."

That thing must have been drawn up by a real Rangers fan.

doxastic November 4, 2010 at 11:27 am

But, it also indicates that Tea Partiers can't even win a majority in the Republic of Texas.

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 11:35 am

The Tea Party is no longer a threat to progressives – in 2 years, Rove and his underlords will have a new, more divisive plan. The problem with us progressives is, we will spend the next 2 years trying to figure out how to combat the Tea Party instead of taking the fight to the fucksticks who want a fight. Sugar Ray Leonard beat Hagler by dancing around for 2:45, doing nothing – and then flurrying punches for 15 seconds at the end of the round. Kinda sounds like the right's strategy of government, doesn't it?

Ducksworthy November 4, 2010 at 1:44 pm

I went to a Sugar Ray fight one time. It was a very elegant 45 seconds but over way too soon.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:03 pm

The T-tards are hardly united except in what the hate (us). Expect them to fight like Baptists and Pentecostals!

BeWoot November 4, 2010 at 11:32 am

I hear ya. I moved out of Texas to get away from the crazies. I live in Arizona now.

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 11:37 am

Frying pan, fire? Anyone?

HistoriCat November 4, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.

OneYieldRegular November 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Not coincidentally, Texas also had, percentage-wise, the lowest voter turnout in the whole country on Tuesday.

StillGoinGreen November 4, 2010 at 1:31 pm

Not coincidentally as well, 70% of the elections on the ballot were running "Republican uncontested", so our democrat candidates also chose to sit this one out.

neiltheblaze November 4, 2010 at 11:06 am

Yes Rush – if only they'd had more support from the RNC – despite receiving millions from the Koch Boys – they would have won. Uh-huh. Viagra Boy doesn't seem to get that O'Donnell and Angle were not merely perceived of as crazy lunatics – but as first class dumbshits too. Crazy and smart, they might have had a chance – but really, they were stupider than Ein_Rant and Skoal Rebel combined.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:04 pm

I hope M. Steele is clever enough to embezzle a boat-load of money, hide it some place safe, and retire to Bourkina Faso (the Land of Honest Men).

ifthethunderdontgetya November 4, 2010 at 11:06 am

Sarah Palin 2012! Because she'll quit by 2013.
~

TakingAmes November 4, 2010 at 4:22 pm

To be replaced by VP…

comrad_darkness November 4, 2010 at 6:58 pm

Given the long tradition of having a VP even your own party would be horrified to see as Prez I cannot fathom who this Freaky Fright Night escapee might be to qualify under Palin.

harry_palmer November 4, 2010 at 11:07 am

Rush hates Cream Demint because they're competing boy ranchers.

binarian November 4, 2010 at 11:08 am

I like how DeMint has advised freshman senators NOT to be sucked into committee memberships, 'cause they might be subverted by the mere fact of being a part of an a group whose aim is to get things done.

hagajim November 4, 2010 at 11:09 am

I was thinking the other day that its a good thing Rush is a right wing nut…if he were a left wing nut some right winger would have shot him by now….man's a complete ass. Christine O'Donnell couldn't win the booby prize in a clusterfuck contest….too stupid for that – also.

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 11:13 am

Sorry, they're too classy; they'll never go for it. I personally checked with Manson, he told me in no uncertain terms, “Hey man, I've got my reputation to think of.”. Bundy was too tired, being dead and all, to even take my call.

Fare la Volpe November 4, 2010 at 11:46 am

"Bundy was too tired, being dead and all, to even take my call"

That's no excuse for rudeness. I'm taking him off the guest list for Lindsey's Ham Biscuit Jamboree and Cotillion.

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Lindsey will be crushed; but then, he's used to it, “bottom” that he is.

marinmaven November 4, 2010 at 11:13 am

O'Donnell and Angle and all the crazies are actually the "logical" conclusions of the deluded republican narrative over the past 30 years. They hate government, libruls, and gays, love the little fetuses and guns, and support a theocracy. It is one thing to pander to these groups and pay lip service to it to get elected, but what happens when the true believers get into power? Republicans benefited over the years from shilling the bile of hate and fear, but now they have to contend with folks who were raised on that bile and see republicans not going far enough. Will Republicans be able to control what they themselves created?

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 11:41 am

No; the beast has already turned on them.

fatoots November 4, 2010 at 12:04 pm
hagajim November 4, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Thank You so much for saving us all Ronnie….Jeebus came to save us in the form of Reagan.

PresBeeblebrox November 4, 2010 at 5:01 pm

O'Donnell is totally delusional. She thinks she "changed" the GOP in Delaware. Yeah, she changed it alright. She fucked it raw. She scared the shit out of so many people, Dems, Republicans, and Independents alike, that a massive Anti-Christine Vote came out on Tuesday. It hosed the GOP all up and down the ticket, switching our sole House seat from red to blue, leaving only one Republican in statewide office (the Auditor, who won re-election by only 2,500 votes), kicking a bunch of Republicans out of office in the state house, and generally fragmenting the shit out of the state party.

But! Everyone here knew that she was a Jersey Grifter when she first started running for office in 2004. She doesn't give a shit about the GOP, she just cares about Christine. Her campaign funds have been her income for the past several years, and who knows how much of that $3.5 million she has left? She'll just go over to Fux and become another bubble-headed commentator.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Well, I'm hoping the country will run out of money for all the wars, quick, so that Afghans and Iraqis, Pakistanis and Iranians, can sleep safely. I've been expecting some kind of anti-China nonsense, next.

awesome_dude November 4, 2010 at 11:13 am

All Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle needed was a little less back biting. Republican elites don't hear this, though, because it was not whispered in a bathroom stall by a man.

hagajim November 4, 2010 at 12:07 pm

I heard that the only reason Angle lost was those evildoer unions – and fraud….

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 4:21 pm

She said she'd do interviews after the election. What's the chance of that now?

Mindblank November 4, 2010 at 11:15 am

It's not that they lost, IT'S THAT THEY WEREN'T MERCILESSLY CRUSHED AS THEY SO RICHLY DESERVED! And that makes me sad.

doxastic November 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

Someone with computer skillz needs to make an animated Lindsay Graham ham biscuits gif.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 4, 2010 at 11:32 am

Rush thinks he's Captain Hindsight.

metamarcisf November 4, 2010 at 11:57 am

"Senator DeMint should have supported Castle in Delaware and Lowden in Nevada. He also should have seen to it that Colorado selected Tancredo as the Republican nominee and he should have had a talk with Joe Miller and reined in his destructive campaign. "

"You know something? He's right!! Thank you, Captain Hindsight!""

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:14 pm

Commodore Hind-tit is more like it.

Missyb9479 November 4, 2010 at 11:43 am

I can't agree with this at all based on the fact that cold ham biscuits are DELICIOUS because the fat and grease is all soaked up by the biscuit so each crumb is infused with the essance of pork.

Mindblank November 4, 2010 at 11:52 am

But at least there's bipartisan support for the "Jim DeMint is a Stupid Face" bill. So, there's that.

Kidneys4Sale November 4, 2010 at 11:53 am

You know…If other world leaders would have gotten behind Hitler, instead of getting involved in all that elitist back biting, Jack-boots would be as fashionable as we all know they should be right now.

Neville Chamberlain/Il Duce 2012! WOOOOOO!!!!

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:15 pm

Sounds like you've read Pat Buchanan's latest excretion, I mean monograph!

el_donaldo November 4, 2010 at 11:58 am

Sure blame it on DeMint. Instead of recognizing that the entire GOP is currently nothing more than a major lodestone for the CRAZY.

hagajim November 4, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Yeah – the CRAZY the wonderously smart Merkin electorate voted for in a big way because they can save us from Obamar and his Muslin brothers….we will all be orange men (or women) now.

hagajim November 4, 2010 at 12:05 pm

So John and Newt are the same asshole in different clothing. I agree with you…now Xtine can join the Mama Grizzlies on Fox giving us all the "real" news that is out there about the Muslins trying to take over the country with Sharia Law – except in Oklahoma where all real Merkins will have to go now. Therefore.

HistoriCat November 4, 2010 at 12:22 pm

I support sending all real Merkins to Oklahoma. However, we might need to airlift the Wonkette refugees who reside there.

horsedreamer_1 November 4, 2010 at 1:07 pm

1830s: Trail of Tears transporting Southeastern U.S. America tribes to Oklahoma Territory.

2010s: Trail of Slipped Gears, Rascals propelling the U.S. American descendents of the people who removed the Indians to Oklahoma.

My_pal_HAL November 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Xtine says because canabalism.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/04/christin

Sepatown! November 4, 2010 at 12:24 pm

"What did Mint, 'Multiple Mints' in the next cell, say to you? He hissed at you. What did he say?"

An_Outhouse November 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm

These people are so obviously stupid that I want them running my governmaent – riiiiigggghhhht.

weejee November 4, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Yes, yes, we creme'd deMint. He let our beloved socialist, muslin, and tennis-shoed Patty Murray lay a smack-down on three-time loser Dino-saurous Rossi. Where, oh where is the Warshingtonian, former Californicating, troll di_da_di_apple?

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Good God, man! Why do you hate Wonkette?

di_da_is_alpha November 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm

I'm not feeling the love, my wonkette brother.

di_da_is_alpha November 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm

I'm right here, and I'm not surprised that the dummy in tennis shoes is leading Rossi. Can't win 'em all (at least not yet).

How about all those state houses going to the Rs? I think redistricting means 10-20 more Republican pickups in 2012. Heheheh You can keep trying to piss in my Wheaties, but I just flick you little gnats away.

And I'd rather have Reid (especially a conciliatory , "we may change Obamacare" Reid) than a rino, so even though Angle, O'Donnell, and others lost, the Tea-Party still won. See, I'd rather have donks control the senate than a bunch of rinos. Rinos give conservatives a bad name. Now Obama can't run against a do nothing congress. Did you think about that? It will be a do nothing senate. Controlled by donks. See you in November. Of 2012. Heheheh

GOPCrusher November 4, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Sharron Angle is a RINO because she lost, or is someone channeling Xtine O'Donnell?
This is going to be epic, when Speaker Drunky McNicotineStain publically states that the House will not consider repealing Health Care Reform because they know it is a lost cause.

di_da_is_alpha November 4, 2010 at 3:45 pm

For the love of Pete. Folks like Castle and Lowden are the rinos. Conventional wisdom says that if rinos had won the primaries, the GOP could have won the senate. Now do you understand my previous comment?

horsedreamer_1 November 4, 2010 at 4:15 pm

But Rossi can't win any of 'em.

weejee November 4, 2010 at 11:07 pm

But that won't be happening in the Soviet of Warshington where you now reside. Hengh…

Sorry to be slow in getting back di_da, but I'm in the Kenyan State of Hawaii Maui Wowwie doing inspections, so don't always have the keypad at the ready.

di_da_is_alpha November 5, 2010 at 12:18 am

Yeah, but after things go to hell in California (no federal bailout now), folks here will get a clue. It's not going to be like that book, I think it's called "Utopia" , about the western states seceding, and some journalist comes from the east and decides to stay. I read it years ago, and I'm sure you've read it too.

The west coast, New England, and a few urban areas around the Great Lakes are about the only blue areas left. Oh, and Colorado too, for some strange reason. I always knew Bronco fans were whacked.

Well, it's time for me to grab a book and hit the sack. See ya.

SorosBot November 4, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Say a troll's name and they appear; you've got to be careful here!

donner_froh November 4, 2010 at 12:26 pm

Every time O'Donnell took to the airwaves in her shrill whine she lost votes. So, yeah, it would make sense in the insane Limbaugh world for her to run even more ads.

Worthly Wokette Skum November 4, 2010 at 12:34 pm

The erotic energy in that pic is palpable. You can almost taste the creme De Mint.

EdFlintstone November 4, 2010 at 12:49 pm

If only there was some way for Rush, whose radio contract is 500 million, to give money to these republican nutball candidates.

ttommyunger November 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

I was too dumb to know how to spell it, too sorry to look it up and too twisted to give a fuck. Now that I know how it is spelled, I can guarantee I will have forgotten it two minutes after I hit “send”. But it is nice to know I am in contact, no matter how remote, with some smart folks who do know stuff and are willing to take the time to correct my lame ass. Thx.

mrblifil November 4, 2010 at 1:34 pm

I definitely detect a hint of DeMint.

Ducksworthy November 4, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Still on the topic of teabaggers but honestly I can't remember what this was about in the beginning but ….When will Senator Elect Randle Dandle fight back against the evil Dept. of Labor shutting down the Massey Energy coal mine in Kentucky. 700 safety violations in a year? I mean come on, shit happens.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:17 pm

I'm hoping he'll legalize the whacky tobaccy, and give Appalachian agriculture a boost!

Lost_Teabaggers November 4, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Haha that was hilarious, especially the logic of inevitability and imagery…good show!

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:18 pm

I'm deathly sorry if somebody posted this sentiment upstream, but my humble South Carolina senator wanted the repubs to remain a minority. He has more dark-lord Sen. Palpatine power as a minority figure than he would if he were in an aboveboard majority leader fight.

Truly, this guy is a Sith Lord. Not to be trusted by anyone.

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm

Come on, Lindsey Graham isn't THAT bad.

Hello ! November 4, 2010 at 4:41 pm

You know

chascates November 4, 2010 at 4:41 pm

He's on his way to Alaska to help recount Joe Miller's ballots so he's not giving up.

PresBeeblebrox November 4, 2010 at 4:54 pm

The fact that O'Donnell was batshit crazy had nothing to do with her loss, of course. Nor did the $3.5 million in outside money she raised. Nope, if Lex Steele had just gotten his lazy black ass out of bed for her, she'd be our next Senator here in the 302.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Did all the wankers vote against her?

PresBeeblebrox November 4, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Them, and human/mouse zombie hybrids like Ein_Rant.

OhNoGuy November 4, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Voters were defrauded, it'll just take a little time for them to figure it out.

imissopus November 4, 2010 at 6:25 pm

The Repukes won, so obviously there was no voter fraud anywhere.

The_Lucky_Wife November 4, 2010 at 7:06 pm

I'm pissed. DeMinted is still my senator.

JackObin November 4, 2010 at 7:43 pm

Why doesn't Pugsly Limbaugh run for office? How about Lard Czar.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:16 pm

If DeMint lost, does that mean Alvin Greene won?

PresBeeblebrox November 4, 2010 at 9:45 pm

In losing while being chosen, Master Alvin was enlightened.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:26 pm

So how come Rove and Limpbowel don't run for office? Don't say it's because they're too ugly or conniving. That would exclude nearly all of those elected, Reptile or Demon!

BarackMyWorld November 4, 2010 at 8:51 pm

The fact that the arch-conservatives think O'Donnell could have won under ANY circumstances shows 2012 is probably going to be the craziest election yet.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:21 pm

The few rational Republicans I know (well, the one I know) swear she won't run, that she's only in it for the money. I'm not so sure. She may not realize how much work there is for presidents to do and how little their mandarins actually obey them. It was a shock to O. and he's fairly smart.

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Mostly on the Reptilian side, I imagine.

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 11:04 pm

Am I the only one sick of this shit about "America sending a message?" Facts actually point to Obama 2008 voters simply not coming out. That was especially true here in Michigan, where we had a terrible turnout (45% or something). The same people who voted against Obama showed up to vote against the Democrats this year; the only difference being that our folks were too stupid and shallow to make their voices heard.

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 11:09 pm

BTW, anyone ever watch DeMint attempt to smile. His thin lips slowly peel upwards and backwards and something strange happens to his eyes. It looks so…unnatural. It gives me the heeby-jeebies. His Sith Lord mask is wearing VERY thin.

HistoriCat November 4, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Yes, please – more of this, Rush! You tell them!

zhubajie November 4, 2010 at 8:19 pm

Hey, listen to Brother Stair, not these fools! BS is the Profit! http://www.overcomerminstry.org !

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