• May 27, 2012

Restoring America With Monosyllabic Restaurants

by Arielle Fleisher  12:53 pm November 4, 2010

Friday, November 5: By December, hopefully, the country will have healed and Emo Obama will be willing to get up off the White House couch and go eat hamburgers somewhere so Washingtonians can gawk at him. Who knows. Either way, he and his family should be at the National Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony on December 9, and the lottery for tickets opens this Friday. Good news: you do not need to have a small child to quality for tickets. [The National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony]

  • Friday, November 5: It’s FotoWeek DC, which we guess is exciting, because photos that don’t make a mockery out of politics should be worth looking at, too. FotoWeek DC and the Corcoran Gallery of Art and College of Art + Design are hosting a launch party, which includes music, food, cocktails, and, of course, photos, on Friday night. Tickets are $45. [FotoWeek DC Launch Party]
  • Masa 14: Of the many restaurants on 14th Street, Masa 14 is doing a lot right, including introducing an all you can-eat-and-drink brunch for $35; they also are featuring a new winter menu that includes various delicious combinations of coconut milk, fresh seafood, and bacon. In other words, yes: you should have both dinner and brunch at Masa 14 in the near future. [Masa 14]
  • Food Trucks: We have another new food truck, D.C.  This one serves Ethiopian food and it’s opened to lots of press and excitement, perhaps more than all the other D.C. Ethiopian restaurants — the ones that have actual roofs and multiple servers of Ethiopian descent — have ever received. [WP]
  • Food to look forward to: A new “urban” bakeshop/cafe, complete with a monosyllabic name, “Ryse” (maybe “Rise” was already taken?), will be opening in the City Vista development; Roti, an authentic Mediterranean food restaurant, will be opening a new location in Northern Virginia; 9,000 more do it yourself frozen-yogurt shops are coming to the city as well. [Ryse via Washingtonian, Prince of Petworth/Fro-Zen Yo]

{ 28 comments }

DoktorZoom November 4, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I worry that if I went to Masa 14, they'd just try to tickle me.

Steverino247 November 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm

That TV Dinner is giving me flashbacks to my childhood.

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 1:11 pm

I like the enchiladas and the teriyaki too
I even like the chicken
If the sauce is not too blue.

chicken_thief November 4, 2010 at 1:16 pm

I remember eating that shit, too. My mom wasn't exactly Donna Reed. But I forget what that mystery substance is in the upper left corner….. (yummy!) Apple Crisp in the center top, right?

BaldarTFlagass November 4, 2010 at 1:21 pm

"Mashed Potatoes"?

SystemError November 4, 2010 at 1:41 pm

The best was the ice cube of potato stuck in the middle of the rest of the otherwise scalding mashed potatoes.

elviouslyqueer November 4, 2010 at 1:43 pm

No no, look closely. The main entree is "ham," so the stuff to the upper left is "sweet potato casserole." And of course, we can't forget the obligatory "biscuit" which is (literally) front and center.

Worthly Wokette Skum November 4, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Excepting Thanksgiving at grandma's, TV dinners were the culinary highlight of my childhood. Seriously, my mom's recipie for pot roast:

Take a roast, put it in a pot.
Take the pot, put it in the oven.

When I went away to college, I could never understand why my dorm mates complained about the food.

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:31 pm

When I think of this picture, my mind goes directly to Happy Days, and eating on the coffee table.

Office_39 November 4, 2010 at 3:08 pm

Lots of dysfunctional family flashbacks here, yup. TV dinners are a trigger.

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Dysfunction, yes, but I would gladly pay a large sum to eat a Hungry Man chicken dinner (Or salisbury steak) at the coffee table while sitting on a shit-brown mashed-shag carpet and watching (the original) Battlestar Gallactica.

Jukesgrrl November 4, 2010 at 4:23 pm

I'd eat TV dinners for the rest of my life if I could eat them watching C-Span as Congress passes bills that actually help people.

slappypaddy November 4, 2010 at 1:03 pm

from that picture, i'd say it looks like decent eating has been foiled again.

great lambasted christ, i can't believe i used to eat that shit. i need me some fresh mouse or something, tout de suite.

OneDollarJuana November 4, 2010 at 1:11 pm

$35 bucks so I can get heartburn and puke? Sorry, but all-you-can-eat is almost never a good idea, and $35 bucks is pretty goldurn expensive for any meal in my book. Y'all need to get out of the Beltway!

chicken_thief November 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm

I've got the dumpster diving down to a science: Gov Christie's house for good eats – lots' a prime rib and dinner rolls and not so much of that rabbit food shit. Then over to the Orange Boner's for an after dinner cig and nightcap.

WordSaladNation November 4, 2010 at 1:13 pm

A new “urban” bakeshop/cafe complete with a monosyllabic name, “Ryse” (maybe “Rise” was already taken?)

They could've called it "Alfafa Is An Energy." Oh, wait—too many syllables!

Beowoof November 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm

What's on tap for the Christmas tree lighting, bitter beer, day old bread.

harry_palmer November 4, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Tuesday's election was the elective equivalent of retoring America with monosodium glutimate restaurants – artificial flavoring that's really bad for you.

mrblifil November 4, 2010 at 1:36 pm

It's 2010 baby, the new paradigm is in play. Freedumb Trays or GTFO.

neiltheblaze November 4, 2010 at 2:46 pm

If I'm not mistaken that's a Swanson turkey frozen TV dinner. You know, "the other gray meat".

OneDollarJuana November 4, 2010 at 3:12 pm

My first girlfriend's father was a tank driver in the Battle of the Bulge. I'm not sure what he ate in Bastogne, but after the war he lived on Camel straights and Miller High Life (the Champagne of Bottled Beers). Oh, and fried catfish.

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Camel/Miller/Catfish – Breakfast of champions.

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:38 pm

I loved it when the carrots mixed in with the apple-mush-muffin thing. A kind of cosmopolitan taste.

Weenus299 November 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Gak! Aside from all the aluminum-pan nostalgia; I just had a fleeting vision of the Orange Boner face down in a pile of Hungry Man.

Jukesgrrl November 4, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Arielle, did you get that photo from Tucker Carlson, scion of Swanson?

Troubledog November 4, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Boosh

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 5, 2010 at 7:54 am

"Lord, before we peel back the foil from they bounty…."

Moonbat November 5, 2010 at 8:48 am

Really, though, shouldn't a restaurant named "Roti" be serving Indian food?

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