PENCIVE  12:44 pm November 3, 2010

Mike Pence Quickly Quits House Leadership To Run For President

by Jack Stuef

THE WEEKLY STANDARAD has obtained a letter from Mike Pence, who is believed to be considering a presidential or gubernatorial run, informing his colleagues that he will not seek another term as chairman of the House Republican conference. “Now that we have restored a Republican majority to the House of Representatives and I have fulfilled my commitment to the Republican Conference, my family and I have begun to look to the future,” Pence writes.

“A future making my family suffer terrible embarrassment as I become Indiana’s Tom Tancredo.” [Weekly Standard]

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SayItWithWookies November 3, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Oh my — it's the end of an era. Who could possibly replace whatsisname at the whatever committee?

x111e7thst November 3, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Somebody sent him an email saying " I have pictures. Meet me in the usual place with $50,000 in nonconsecutive bills or I send them to Wonkette.
Dirty kisses
Big Daddy

elviouslyqueer November 3, 2010 at 1:04 pm

So today's "after much prayerful consideration" is tomorrow's "Shit, somebody's blackmailing me again," amirite?

x111e7thst November 3, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Either that or "I got caught in Argentina with my diaper down".

SexySmurf November 3, 2010 at 1:16 pm

If I have to read a description of Mike Pence's pubes I'm never reading Wonkette again.

OCKerouac November 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

You're safe. I'm sure he's waxed.

Lascauxcaveman November 3, 2010 at 1:32 pm

SInce he's the guy who likes to belabor all the tired Family Christian Political tropes so much, you know there's gotta be something truly horrible going on there.

I'm just praying it's something more interesting than the usual mundane dead girl / live boy / livestock thing. Please, Gods of Snark, let it be so!

finallyhappy November 3, 2010 at 4:52 pm

But howabout if it is all three combined???

obiwanacracker November 3, 2010 at 9:21 pm

The Aristocrats!

Badonkadonkette November 3, 2010 at 1:06 pm

The comedic benefit of calling President Pence "PeePee" would not be worth the cost.

donner_froh November 3, 2010 at 1:12 pm

My family and I have realized that John Boehner is such a foul beast that his stench is too great even for us. So I quit.

CapeClod November 3, 2010 at 1:17 pm

If he starts saying the name Ronald Reagan over and over again we'll know his hat is in the ring.

Not_So_Much November 3, 2010 at 2:33 pm

and 9/11. Pelosi/Reid has lost its mojo.

Come here a minute November 3, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Pence doesn't hate brown people enough to be Indiana's Tancredo.

Kidneys4Sale November 3, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Tancredo doesn't hate brown people enough to be Indiana's Tancredo, either.

Gopherit November 3, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Sorry, Mike. We've had black. We won't go back.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Really. This guy is white bread spread with marshmallow fluff topped with banana slices and sprinkled with coconut shavings. Couldn't be whiter if you shaved him and spray painted him.

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 6:06 am

This guy is the definition of a "stuffed suit." Honestly, he's one of the more awkwardly shapped politicians, as if he's some reptilian in an ill-fitting human skin bag. Every time I look at him, I'm waiting for something to tear on him revealing snake scales.

easynewz November 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Mike Pence and Chris Christie will run in 2012 on a platform that will reduce the deficit by taxing gravity.

PublicLuxury November 3, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Personally, Pence polluted polarizing pundits pounding palms periodically providing peppered power points politically.

OhNoGuy November 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm

No, no, no. No secret.

Negropolis November 4, 2010 at 6:02 am

This man wishes he could be Indiana's Tom Tancredo. Though, to be fair, he makes Mitch Daniels look like a pinko-commie.

BTW, if he really is thinking of running for president (HA!), he'll have to take out Sarah Palin in an epic supernatural sword fight. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

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