In other, non-election (?) news from West Virginia, this apparently happened:
According to the complaint, Danny and Watson told Mellinger that Melissa came to the apartment intoxicated, asked each of them to perform a sexual act on her and took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet.
Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further. It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, “somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I’m going to cut your [expletive] throat.”
Considering the audience, that “I’ll shoot Nobama” commercial Joe Manchin made was probably considered “really classy commercial.” [Jackson Newspapers]
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Ladies, this is a teachable moment. Also too, I'm disappointed there weren't more details.
Whatdaya want? Smell-o-vision?
Also too, what was she charged with brandishing? Her twat?
"Go home mom, you're drunk."
Most importantly, had she missed the waxing trend?
I'm shocked. Just shocked. I figured she'd be carrying a gun instead.
This, my friends, is the definition of "U R doin it rong!'
Leave Mom alone.
So, they were all down to put the "US" in pUSsy until they got hit with the "PU".
“somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I’m going to cut your [expletive] throat.”
Maybe the print media isn't completely useless after all.
Hey, this is fun. Now we can play Mad Libs.
Sort of like the Match Game, really, but needs moar drunken Charles Nelson Reilly.
Assault with a silent-but-deadly weapon.
I think we're overlooking something here. Let's look at the logistics of this:
1.) She "took off her pants and underwear, which Mellinger observed lying on the floor at her feet"
2.) Then she "allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife,"
From where did she produce the knife?
I'd check that knife for a "horrible vaginal odor."
"From where did she produce the knife?"
From beneath a titanic, sagging breast. Try not thinking of that for the rest of the day.
So, that's what's meant by "Girl Power"
Gee Whiz Ken, can't we get one pleasant vagina story this week?
“somebody is going to [vomit in my pussy] or I’m going to cut your [purdy cousinfucking] throat.”
Losers! Too. Also.
Got to hand it to 'Danny'. He knew right away that there was something fishy going on.
(I'm sorry)
Hmm, something about this story doesn't smell right.
JacksonNewspapers.com has pulled the original story down. But the legend will no doubt be passed on from generation to generation (horizontally and vertically).
Oooh! It's back, it's back! Thank you, Babay Jeezus!
this pretty much says it all:
Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn
Hey! I remember that John Cougar Mellencamp song!
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