HOUSE OF HORROR  8:00 pm November 2, 2010

Teapocalypse Now: Liveblogging the 2010 Midterms, Part II

by Ken Layne

Sad Face?It’s 8 p.m. on the East Coast and probably midnight tomorrow on the Alaskan West Coast, so let’s begin the second awful installment of America’s favorite liberal moan temple, the Wonkette Midterms 2010 Liveblogging Challenge! So far, Republicans have won important Senate seats such as the Rand Paul seat and the Rob Portman seat. Will Barack Obama be removed from office, along with his so-called “health care” scheme? And why did the Economy gang up on Democrats, anyway? Is the Great Recession simply racist? (Yes.) But Chris Coons is the WINNER against Witchcraft and Patriotism! No, please Wiccan goddess in the Sky, do not take Christine O’Donnell from us, for goddess’ sake, we NEED COMEDY now more than ever.

8:00 PM — You may want to consult PART I of our Liveblogging, which is here, or you may just want to drink rum out of a bowl on your lap, with a Krazy Straw.
8:00 PM — Wrestling lady is losing, Marco Rubio is the projected winner, so both wrestling and tanned gay moderates are the losers tonight. There are also many governor races, and you may be interested in the one that occurs in your home state!
8:01 PM — 50% for Rubio, only 30% for Charlie Crist. Like many liberals, we have grown to love Charlie this year. Now, he will be reduced to Twittering about Elton John concerts.
8:02 PM — All cable news panelists are now either a) paid political consultants or b) bloggers. How we’ve grown, as a Democracy!
8:02 PM — Speaking of bloggers, is Howard Fineman now with HuffPo or Boing Boing?
8:05 PM — And Georgia keeps their white Republican senator, hooray! (Civil War began 150 years ago.)
8:15 PM — One day soon there will be nothing left of Chuck Todd but a goatee yammering in a void.
8:18 PM — Years ago, our Sara K. Smith rudely suggested that Sarah Palin was going bald and wearing terrible wigs. Tonight, the Huffington Post joins our brave Pulitzer-winning coverage with this breaking update.
8:21 PM — If you’re a little unfamiliar with some of the 435 House races today, you may have a life.
8:23 PM — CNN once again employs the trademark Shaky Handheld Camera to suggest the lard-ass panelists are moving something other than their mouths.
8:30 PM — Did you know we are also on the Twitter? Of course, you cannot comment on the Twitter.
8:30 PM — The second Senate pickup for Republicans: Arkansas polls just closed and Blanche Lincoln lost.
8:31 PM — And now, it is time to start thinking about how life will be for you, wearing a burqa and forced to have diabetes.
8:33 PM — “About 6 in 10 Del. voters say Obama doing good job.” This is on the front page of the Delaware paper. Why does Delaware hate its “favorite daughter,” Christine O’Donnell?
8:37 PM — Yay Democrats: Gun-nut anti-Obama cretin Joe Manchin has won the West Virginia Senate seat, so he’s off to Washington to, uh, caucus with the Republicans?
8:45 PM — Oh yeah, Richard Blumenthal won in Connecticut, another Democrat Victory for being a professional bullshitter! GO DEMOCRATS YOU GOT THE MORAL ADVANTAGE, over trashy wrestling-teevee ladies, at least?
9:00 PM — Part III.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 238 comments }

Crank_Tango November 2, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Is this somalia yet? Because I have a new pirating business I have been waiting to start…

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I might be looking for work soon, can I send you my resume?
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Crank_Tango November 2, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Resumes will be accepted only in the form of messages in old bottles. or pigeons.

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:02 am

Real pirate don't send a resume – they just steal the damn boat.

johnnyzhivago November 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Arrrhh!

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:12 pm

Avast matey! Permission to come aboard!

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Wait — do pirates ask permission to come aboard? Might need to practice being ruder.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I guess that's why libtards don't make good pirates…

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

No, modern pirates copy something and than share it with others as long as they're willing to share it themselves, and it's just the worst crime ever.

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Dibs on the Captain Jack Sparrow wig.

My_pal_HAL November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Looks like Snowbilly is already wearing it.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Dibs on Captain Jack Sparrow. No costume required.

DoktorZoom November 2, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Marge: "Are you a pirate?"

Bartender: "Well…sorta."

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Arrrgh Matey, we will be boarding your bank account from here on Wall Street, Damn the regulations take it all.

PublicLuxury November 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Can I touch your naughty pirate sword? Please?

Crank_Tango November 2, 2010 at 8:42 pm

sure why not!

Dr_pangloss November 2, 2010 at 8:51 pm

I'll bring the rum and some booty.

Lascauxcaveman November 3, 2010 at 1:34 am

And may the Great One touch you with his noodly appendage.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 8:05 pm

Live flog or die.

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Holy hell, Christine O'Donnell really IS me, in that I've never won a Senate race, either.

mog253 November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

But.. will you end up doing the "Teen Beat – Christine answers your most intimate questions" show on Faux????

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Maybe she's not so much me, as me-ish.

mog253 November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Funny, you don't look me-ish. *rim shot* Sorry trapped in a hotel room in Troy, MI, not responsible for my remarks.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Now that Christine has lost, is it safe to masturbate again?

mildlysore November 2, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Wait! We were supposed to stop!?!

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Well, you're supposed to stop occasionally. But that's probably why you're a little sore.

mildlysore November 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

Not 'til I go blind. God willing it will be tonight.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

She is going in for a pub waxing and will be back as a prostitute who can't cum enough to run for the House Seat.

Lascauxcaveman November 3, 2010 at 1:37 am

If you had been her campaign manager, she might have won.

(Well, in Delaware.)

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:06 pm

What? Did Alvin concede?

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Quitter

Redhead November 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Palin/Greene in oh-twelve?

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Simon and Theodore convinced him it would be best. After that noooooooooooooooo performance he will be in big demand on Idol.

Blendergoathead November 2, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Damn. Now that O'Donnell and Greene have both lost, we'll never get to enjoy that moment where we see Greene walk up to O'Donnell on the Senate floor and ask her if she wants to see some porn.

*sigh*

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:05 am

Perhaps their forbidden love just isn't meant to be.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Chris Matthews just called Michael fucking Smerconish a moderate, when the guy is only slightly to the left of Mussolini – yet I realize he may sort of be right, and compared to the teabaggers that evil cretin actually looks reasonable.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:33 pm

He claims to have voted for Obama. He's like all the people in Pennsylvania who voted for Clinton and Santorum on the same ticket. Fuckin nuts.

Lascauxcaveman November 3, 2010 at 1:41 am

Fucking Pennsylvania. Fucking Toomey? Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Fuck.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Attila the Hun looks reasonable compared to the tea party.

SudsMcKenzie November 2, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Fuck Toad is wearing his Sunday School suit tonight.

MistaEko November 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

It is now offical

Christine O'Donnell is us, a loser.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm

She's a loser, and Dems picked up Delaware's lone Congressional seat that Castle abandoned to go for what looked like a sure Senate position.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Praise Jesus — not the one who hates muslins, the one who loves us all.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Accidentally thumbed you down… Fuckin iPhone touchscreen ( sorry was that elitist?)

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:09 pm

The Connecticut Democratic (Terrorist) Party is suing to keep the polling places in Bridgeport open another two hours. Apparently, there weren't enough "ballots." But don't Bridgeport residents only need 3/5ths of a ballot? I IS CONFUZED.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:14 pm

That may be my only laugh of the night. Thank you.

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 8:23 pm

No no, Bridgeport has white people. I've seen them. Hell, my brother is married to one.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Is your brother a white, too? If not, tell him to consider that marriage annulled once President Palin comes to power!

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 11:08 pm

Oh yes, and Jewish. Wife's Catholic. So I'm not sure whether Sarah will send them to a re-education camp or Israel.

CookieGuggleman November 2, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Any Wonketeers old enough to remember Mario Savio? Because that's the name I see when I read Marco Rubio. Kind of different species of political types, though.

Lucidamente1 November 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm

On Planet Bizzarro, Marco Rubio leads the Berkeley Free Speech Movement.

Geminisunmars November 2, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Save us, Mario Savio. Whatever happened to him, anyway?

CookieGuggleman November 2, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Dead.

Geminisunmars November 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

That's hardly an excuse.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 9:04 pm

When I think about Mario Savio, I get all choked up.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Ding dong the witch is dead!

Or getting wasted and scarin guys with her pubes

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Not dead. Fox News will be announcing their new "Analyst" tomorrow.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

She is a demon in wolf's pubs.

CookieGuggleman November 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Or trying to figure out how not to get a real job.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Does she get to keep that left over campaign cash.

mog253 November 2, 2010 at 8:19 pm

gah! thanks for that visual.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Does anyone else get kicked out of their account everytime you refresh, or did I screw mine up furiously trying to hack into the account of that last TeaTard that was on here?

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:16 pm

It's you. You're us. You're me. I'm Ken. And that's what it's all about.

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:19 pm

You're drunk already, aren't you??

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:16 pm

I stay logged in when I refresh (or at least that's what I told Christine O'Donnell after the Halloween party).

~25 year old Philadelphian

P.S. If it's any consolation we love you for trying!

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

It's easy to accidentally hit the log out button, just as it's sadly easy to accidentally hit the wrong "thumbs up / down" button (sorry, V####; and sorry everyone else to the up for Stowell).

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm

I re-log in all the time instead of refreshing or back-buttoning. I think Wonkette gets more hits that way. Good for the advertising.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Nice. That's thoughtful. If more hits means less Jimmy Smits staring at me, I'm all for that.

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:12 pm

"…you may just want to drink rum out of a bowl on your lap, with a Krazy Straw…"

Well, I live in Texas, where the easiest available option for celebrating is the anus burger / corn syrup feeding frenzy. Or Lonestar Beer. I'll have to get creative. Maybe I'll sniff some glue.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Wait, don't you guys have drive-through liquor stores there?

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm

You might be thinking of Louisiana. I lived there years ago. Alcohol is sold in grocery stores, gas stations, pharmacies, and drive-through daiquiri bars. Oh, to be sure, for safety's sake, the drive-thru bars put a plastic lid on drink cups, and secure it with a coupla pieces of masking tape. This makes the drink officially and legally sealed, for safety's sake. *hiccup*

In Texas, the places where liquor is available for purchase is somewhat more limited. One cannot purchase hard liquor in grocery stores (beer and wine, yes); however, it's not unusual to find charming little shops in remote areas of west Texas that advertise "guns – ammo – beer" so that Texans will not be inconvenienced by having to make two stops on the way home from church.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:49 pm

Ah, after living in a state where alcohol is only available in state stores (owned by guess who) the idea of buying anything in grocery stores sounds like heaven. Actually, I think PA's ridiculous liquor rules may in part be responsible for the proliferation of government-hating morons in the middle of the state.

Lascauxcaveman November 3, 2010 at 1:51 am

Funny you should mention that. The good citizens of The Socialist Soviet of Washington (State) tonight turned down not one, but TWO initiatives to do away with the communist State Liquor Control Board and their well-lit, tidy, well-stocked and reasonably priced liquor stores.

And yet they also decided we're sending 3 additional Tea Party Patriots in the place of Dems to congress this term.

I'm shitting bricks, here.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Just take a handful of Xanax and black out until 2012, that's my plan

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Does anyone know any semi-cute European women looking for American wanna-be expatriots? We could exchange joint citizenships.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Me too Me too, god do I want out of this nut house.

mildlysore November 2, 2010 at 8:51 pm

I have a feeling "attractive, single European" is about to become a boom industry. It's a seller's market.

x111e7thst November 2, 2010 at 8:15 pm

"And Georgia keeps their white Republican senator, hooray"

When I think of all the effort William Tecumseh Sherman (may Allah smile upon his name) put into that place. It's just sad really.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

At least he is not a veteran who left three limbs on the battle field in Viet Nam, then republicans really go after them. Saxby Chambliss needs to eat a bag of salted rat dicks in hell with no water.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 2, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Today, we are all Georgians, y'all.

BeWoot November 2, 2010 at 9:10 pm

A century and a half into the civl war, I can't believe the Union resisted secession. Importing all our cotton seems like a small price to pay for losing our Suthren Cousins. Oh, wait, we'd still have Mitch "Tooter" McConnell and Rand "Aqua Buddha" Paul, wouldn't we.

Sigh.

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:11 am

Actually, I think I'm going to go with blaming Sherman for not committing fully. Having some rich plantation owners hanging from every tree would have thinned out the herd.

Bluestatelibel November 2, 2010 at 8:15 pm

The good news is that now I can finally open my 10-minute, drive-through eye-surgery clinic franchise in Kentucky (10% discount for all Wonkette commentators).

Rotundo_ November 2, 2010 at 9:15 pm

And instead of getting a pen to sign the release, they give you a whole cup of pencils and the cup! for free if you act now!

WhatTheHeck November 2, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Ken, no I don't want to consult PART I of our Liveblogging.
I want to consult a psychiatrist.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:39 pm

And a person who writes scripts for medical marijuana.

bumfug November 2, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Well, great. Now all the giggling gash from Delaware has to worry about is how to spend the money she scammed off the retarded chicken farmers.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

You keep farmin that chicken, Christine.

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:12 am

Um, when is the other Senatorial race in DE? 2012 or 2014? She'll probably just run for that one as well.

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Christ, Rand Paul really did it. Kill me now.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

And can proudly say he did it without stomping any heads…oh no, wait…

LionelHutzEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:06 pm

The power of Aqua Buddha is not to be denied!

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Wait, did I just see that Nikki Haley is losing, with about .000042% of the votes counted?

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Will Folks is thinking "Consolation Sex"

Serfville November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Resignations tomorrow at the White House Press Conference: Tim Kaine & Chris Van Hollen

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:13 am

Dream on. This will be the start of the "we were too librul!!!" chorus – never mind that the fucking Blue Dogs were decimated in the election.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Hopefully, by this time next year, we'll all be on the gold standard, social security will be privatized, all the illegal immigrants will have been deported, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 will be rolled back, no one will have health insurance, millionaires will be taxed at 0%, and marriage will be limited to one man and one woman—literally, Steve Frisch and Julie Glass of Minneapolis, MN. THIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Good thing I got my food insurance from Glenn Beck!

My_pal_HAL November 2, 2010 at 8:34 pm

So each of us limited to marrying one man and one woman? I didn't know the Teabaggers were for bisexual bigamy.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Who concocted this dream Steven King or Dean Koontz.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Chuck Todd has beady fetal alcohol syndrome eyes.

No one else can speak about things that HAVE happened as if predicting something that WILL happen better than him.

I hate him.

[drink]

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Is part of the "drinking game" that, whenever someone on Wonkette drinks, I have to drink?

Okay! [drink]

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm

That could lead to serious alcohol poisoning.

BklynIlluminati November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Angle must go down too, to complete the trifecta of crazy loser but i will accept Joe Miller as well

My_pal_HAL November 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm

So if O'Donnell, Angle and Miller do down, Murca will not have completely lost its mind? Hooray!

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Carl Paladino is still lurking.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

So far, the lesson is that both overt racism and physically beating liberals wins; and if Buck, Miller, or any of the other "force rape victims to give birth " candidates win, add overt sexism. The 2012 primaries should be, well, interesting.

rocktonsam November 2, 2010 at 8:21 pm

O'Donnell signs HUGE contract with Fox News in 5, 4, 3,..

Or Penthouse.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Sort of a back country bush type of show.

LionelHutzEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Penthouse hasn't had a bush like that in their magazine since 1981.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Too soon!

PublicLuxury November 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm

Sarah Palin has a fucking dog on her head.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

I know Republicans do things differently than us, but how do they get their hair to grow from a haircut?

SudsMcKenzie November 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Nate Silver says there's an 87% chance thats a wig.

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I think it's a wolf.. shot from a helicopter.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

That's what she gets for letting an elitist from New York City do her hair. He's probably at a bar now laughing his ass off with all his friends.

CalamityJames November 2, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Trig?

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 11:12 pm

Christine must have finally shaved her bush.

PalinPussyPower November 2, 2010 at 8:25 pm

If a fired NPR employee gets $2 million, and a quittin' AK governor gets about double that, how much will Fox News pay a failed Delaware candidate with zero work history? I'm thinking they might have to take out a loan.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:25 pm

I gave up cable t.v. this summer, so my only source of election news is — and I'm not making this up — constantly refreshed New York Times and Wonkette websites, the glass of Glenfiddich I'm drinking, and Steve Reich's Four Sections cranking on the CD player.

Jukesgrrl November 2, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Quit wasting your time on the Times. Wonkette knows all and finding it out here is less painful somehow.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

I keep thinking about dropping the cable. Then my fapping would have to decline, as no skinemax.

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:17 am

If only someone would invent something which would allow you to access sexy-time videos straight from your computer – that would be a hit!

Oppenheiner November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

I'm watching Al Jazeera over the air here in DC and I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised at the coverage. Needs more holograms, tho.

Chet Kincaid November 2, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Cool music. I've been meaning to explore Reich and other minimalists ever since the 80s King Crimson, although I hate the Trig-like stylings of Phillip Glass. Better get to it, before Culture is outlawed!

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 11:14 pm

I haven't owned a TV for a year, so me too, except I'm checking the L.A. Times cause that's where I live and I want to know if pot is legal yet. I understand I will be able to possess up to an ounce, which should get me through tomorrow.

BklynIlluminati November 2, 2010 at 8:25 pm

I never get exit polled you think its my big "end is nigh!" sign?

My_pal_HAL November 2, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I don't think you want your exit poled. Unless… never mind.

GuanoFaucet November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

The horror…the horror…

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Let me get the funnel…

lumpenprole November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

You'll be dead from alcohol poisoning before you read this reply.

bagofmice November 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

There goes Wednesday.

BklynIlluminati November 2, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Wrestling skank got pinned and hit with a folding chair! Diablo! Is that blumenthals music i hear playing!!!!!!

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

I'm sure that's impressive back on omicron persei 8

obiwanacracker November 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Reading the goat entrails today was confusing–long lines at the polls, hooray! The average age of people around me as I voted? About 87.5–less heartening.

MathIsHard November 2, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Sarah's new hair is reminding me of Dark Helmet.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:29 pm

A great loss for steroids tonight in Connecticut.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Thankfully, Steroids didn't shrink Dick.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:29 pm

I've already called in teaparty

Jerri November 2, 2010 at 8:30 pm

I hope you have a working set of gills and a tank of booze to float in, because I don't know when you'll have time to breathe otherwise.

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

WDEL was just at O'Donnell HQ. She is not conceding yet because Fox hasn't called the race. They're hoping for a Come From Behind Victory (as opposed to a come-on-her-behind victory). Also, O'Donnell threatened to sue.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:32 pm

She threatened to sue who?

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 8:49 pm

She really didn't threaten to sue. Yet.

However, they did turn off all of the teevees in her victory HQ when the race was called for Coons.

One of our three counties has not reported yet. They think that county, which has more soybeans than people, will propel her ahead. Huh?

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Heh, the new Arkansas Senator is named Boozman, but like with Boehner the media is intentionally mispronouncing his name as "Bozeman". Oh and of course Lincoln lost.

TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

Fuck that yeasty cunt and good riddance. Thanks for no public option bitch

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Yeah, can't say I'm sorry to see her go; and hey, maybe in his more out-of-it moments the Boozeman will accidentally vote the right way.

LionelHutzEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

As for Palin's hair. Maybe just going on FOX News causes your hair to poof out like that. Or it could be a helmet to protect her when she falls for from Socialist sending bears to eat her. Or an homage to Christine O'Donnell. Or she is overcompensating for her small brain. All I know for sure is that I will not decide to vote for her until I know how trim or untrimmed she keeps her girl parts.

Chet Kincaid November 2, 2010 at 10:26 pm

When the tiny kernels of ideas in her mind swirl in the tempest of empty, hot air up there, the volume under her hair that should contain a functioning human brain swells up and out. See Jiffy Pop.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

Fox just called Blanche Lincoln to go down in Arkansas.

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Ewww! Do not want!

phaVoom November 2, 2010 at 9:00 pm

on whom?

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Hey, look: the Republicans and "Greens" (???) are suing in my state, Connecticut, saying that it was "illegal" to provide photocopied ballots to the brown/illegal people in Bridgeport!

EDIT: From the article, "The Green Party said there was no space for write-in candidates on some ballots." Oh, BOO-FUCKING-HOO, Green Party.

natoslug November 2, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Republicans and Greens are just focusing on our core principle: White landowning males only.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP November 2, 2010 at 8:32 pm

I can't believe Elizabeth Montgomery didn't win. I was so looking forward to seeing Darrin at the Senator's Ball.

Lucidamente1 November 2, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Palin's not going bald–they just had to shave her head before inserting the new word salad talking point generator.

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Oh yeah! Weren't those all the rage about 15 years ago?? "Salad spinners," I think they were called… I'm pretty sure I have one taking up space in a kitchen cabinet.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Blanche Lincoln just accepted the 3pm Sunday shift as a WalMart greeter in Fayetteville

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

She should be scrubbing toilets in the rest room the homeless use.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP November 2, 2010 at 8:35 pm

BREAKING – Palin concedes, returns to Stupidstan to write book.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Manchin won, by shooting actual democratic legislation with his pussy .22 rifle

How long before he shoots actual democratic legislaTORs?

HistoriCat November 3, 2010 at 9:23 am

Does that include Independents caucusing with Democrats? I would hide Bernie Sanders but Lieberman would be OK.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Darth Vader cries, the technological terror space destruction laser looses in West Virginia's Governor's Race.

Kitty_Sanchez November 2, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Aw, shoot. No layzzzzerrrrz?

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Not yet; I'd say this was a victory for rationality, but it's West Virginia so it's more likely people were scared because lazers sounded too science-y.

CookieGuggleman November 2, 2010 at 8:35 pm

It's going to be OK. It's going to be OK. It's going to be OK. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Hipple, Rev. Paul T. November 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Wow!!! This has the looks of a good ol'fashion curb stomp!!!!

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

Tonight, we are all hippy ladies trying to hand Rand Paul a piece of paper.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Hey, I forgot! I scored some valium at the dr's today. Here, I brought enough for everyone. This should help a bit.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

here take a few swigs of my jamesons to wash it down

Clancy_Pants November 2, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Woof!

Limeylizzie November 2, 2010 at 9:05 pm

I don't drink, but I have always been fond of the downers.

BklynIlluminati November 2, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Sestak killing it

SudsMcKenzie November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

definite joementum!

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Don't jinx him, bro.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:42 pm

You know, watching c-span, you really get a sense of just how full of drunk and stupid retards America really is.

"When Obama won, I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. That lasted about two weeks till he was taking our rights away with the health care bill"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 8:45 pm

"You know what? It is quite possible for the majority of the people in a country to be complete fuckwits." — Me, responding to just about every "suck it libtards, America has spoken" troll.

I mean, shit, Hitler was elected.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

He only got 34% of the vote or something. Probably some kind of German Ralph Nader that allowed that shit to happen.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:51 pm

And you know who else was elected, and then managed to dismantle democracy into a dictatorship?

That's right, Augustus Caesar.

Jerri November 2, 2010 at 8:58 pm

A few years ago I just started assuming that a good 80% of the general public is hopped up on something all the time, whether it's illegal stuff, or just your every day effects/side effects of the many prescription drugs/Redbull & Fish Oil concoctions our fellow citizens may be on at any given time. It may not be true, but it does help explain things.

Spanky2a November 2, 2010 at 8:59 pm

You know, watching c-span, you really get a sense of just how full of drunk and stupid retards America really is:
"I wont have to worry about putting gas in my car, I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage..

You know, If I help him, he's gonna help me."

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Case in point.

Fuck you, jack off.

Sorry if I want people to not pay for their health insurance for years and then get dropped when they get sick. Not exactly like Obama filling up your gas tank.

But you wouldn't understand that, you fucking piece of shit.

Spanky2a November 2, 2010 at 9:43 pm

You're hot when you act butch.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Ah, go kill yourself shithead.

WriteyWriterton November 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Okay, I voted. I'm sure the candidate I personally like – but did not support in a spasm of ill-timed independence – will lose by one vote to the troglodyte I despise. Time to set up the vodka IV drip.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm

Yaaaay!

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:44 pm

If anyone is in the mood to get weepy, here are some tracks that might help:

THE "TEABAGGERS-HAVE-WON" PLAYLIST 2010
Warren Zevon – "Keep Me in Your Heart"
Judee Sill – "The Kiss"
Peter Gabriel – "Come Talk to Me"
Blur – "Sweet Song"
Joni Mitchell – "Shadows and Light"
Rufus Wainwright – "Vibrate"
Elvis Costello – "I Want to Vanish"

Add your own by hitting "Reply"!

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Nice. Love Judee Sill and Warren Zevon.

Suicidal Tendencies – Institutionalized http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/watch?v=UuOmsGXzn

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:49 pm

I'm going to have to go with, "Lawyers, Guns and Money." The shit has, indeed, hit the fan.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:51 pm

I'm glad someone else knows of Ms. Sill. I started listening to her because Andy Partridge, my favorite musician of all time, cited her as a bigger influence — albeit on a more subconscious level — than anyone else. That song gets me every time.

CookieGuggleman November 2, 2010 at 8:56 pm

I'll add The Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows" just because.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:59 pm

That's what got me, there was a tribute album for her recently, had one of my favorite performers on it.

weejee November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

I'm thinkin' too, nite. Maybe "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road."

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

I have to counter with the "Fiddling While Rome Burns" playlist — starting with "It's the End of the World as we Know It" by REM and "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads — from our earlier thread.

loquacioustunes November 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm
TanzbodenKoenig November 2, 2010 at 8:54 pm

The Doors – The End

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll
BOC

waitforsugar November 2, 2010 at 9:08 pm

What sort of sad songs list is complete without this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJTiXoMCppw

MarcelleMarceau November 2, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Dire Straits – "Money For Nothing"

deleted2364667 November 2, 2010 at 11:24 pm

My first post here – apologies if the link doesn't work, but this sums it up for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Bn0Kq7rls

Yes, I voted.

FNMA November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Somebody has to do it: O'Donnell goes down.

Or maybe not.

donner_froh November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Nazi sympathizer and dress-up boy Rich Iott loses to old school Dem-Liberal-Progressive Marcy Kapture.
Nice going, Toledo.

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

On the plus side, he can help people with their goosestepping as we slide further into fascism.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Well, this is a bright spot. America has decided against electing actual nazis. Sigh.

MistaEko November 2, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Hey, kids! Did you enjoy going to the Jon Stewart Rally? Did it make you feel good inside? Did you like gathering around with all your friends and feeling important and like you could change the world?

Well go fuck yourselves and die alone. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20021551-5

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

I find myself once again falling back on the old adage… we get the government we deserve.

MistaEko November 2, 2010 at 10:39 pm

oh, so sorry nobody liked that one.

mirrorballdc November 2, 2010 at 8:49 pm

I'm hearing McMahon will demand cage match at Wrestlemania 27

MistaEko November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

Alan Grayson Dies Quickly.

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Sad, though I expect an email thanking me for all I did for him, which I believe amounted to zilch.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

lolololol…I'm watching Fox News just to see Sister Sarah's new wig, and they're actually playing a long commercial for the original hoveround right now. There's a catchy hoveround song and everything!

MistaEko November 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Now I'm free to seee the woooooooooooorld
(but they won't)

Jerri November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

Oooh, the one where they go to the Grand Canyon!? I always liked that one.

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

And fuck, Alan Grayson's gone; that makes Frank the only Democratic Congressman with balls left. Fuck you, Florida!

glindsey1979 November 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Well, fucking fuck fuck fuckity fuck. I respected that guy IMMENSELY.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

So there is a republican congress cunt on now talking about repealing health care. Good deal, those of you with preexisting conditions fuck off and die.

God I live in a country full of retards.

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 8:58 pm

I'm still at work and keep reloading philly.com to see who my new senator and governor will be. 4% of precincts reporting, and it looks like they must all be from Philadelphia, because the numbers are way more skewed than the final numbers will be. Dems 70%/Repubs 30%? Only until Pennsyltucky reports in.

But yeah, for the rest of the country's results, I need to go to my happy place in my head.

Katydid November 2, 2010 at 9:00 pm

OK, O/T here for a moment, sorry, feel free to ignore me, but NBC just released excerpts of an interview with dubya about his new book, and the prick says the worst moment of his presidency was when Kanye West said he doesn't care about black people.

Blah blah blah blah, "Yes. My record was strong I felt when it came to race relations and giving people a chance. And– it was a disgusting moment."

What does he mean, exactly, about "giving people a chance" when it comes to race relations? Am I overreacting to that?

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 9:08 pm

W is clearly not very bright. The worst moment in your presidency was you running and hiding when the country was attacked on 9/11. You were a coward when it came to fighting in Viet Nam and you were a coward as a president.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Yes, surely that beats the day he realized New Orleans levees had broken, or the day someone told him there were no WMD.

What an utter piece of shit.

weejee November 2, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Not in the least, as long as you don't go sideways and end-up taking a tire tool to the dog. Hold the edge, and when Shrub drops by and offers to autograph his ghost book, use the tire tool on him.

<this is satire secret service, satire>

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 2, 2010 at 9:24 pm

It's all relative. W fancies himself an open-minded and anti-racist guy. He hired Condy and Colin, fer chrissakes. He spoke out against Muslim-hating. It is Connecticut-prep-school filtered through adopted Texan redneckishness. He allies himself with the evangelicals that are nice to the black people who come to his church. He doesn't use the word "nigger," even though some of his golf buddies do.

I must be drunk already.

Chet Kincaid November 2, 2010 at 10:46 pm

He feels worse about what Kanye said than about what happened to all those people in New Orleans. Thus proving Kanye's point.

imissopus November 2, 2010 at 11:23 pm

What about when he went to Dover AFB at four in the morning to see the coffins of dead soldiers return? Oh wait, that was Obama.

kenlayisalive November 2, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Conway conceding on c-span. gah.

GAH.

When will America stop rewarding its head stomping fake doctors?

JMPEsq November 2, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Oh god, the congresswoman who Matthews is interviewing is an idiot; "What will you cut?" "We'll cut the budget" "But what programs?" "The budget"

PresBeeblebrox November 2, 2010 at 9:03 pm

The Teabaggers are about to have a Robert Redford/"The Candidate" moment tomorrow- now they have to realize they actually have to GOVERN instead of being ass-clowny.

Winnie_Cooper November 2, 2010 at 9:06 pm

That's their secret: they just aren't going to track the budget anymore. Think of how much money they will save by not paying attention to how much they are taking in or spending! Those are needless government reports.

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 9:09 pm

She really had no answers only talking points. Now that the republicans have been elected, they have it tough, they have to do something other than say no.

BklynIlluminati November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

MSNBC just called the house for the republicans

ifthethunderdontgetya November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

Ohio has over 9% employment, so they elect Rob Portman, a guy who helped Bush send the jobs overseas.

I'm surrounded by fucknozzles.

OKAY, time to switch from wine to vodka drinks.
~

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Jobs, who cares, money for republicans, working people can screw off.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 2, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Way ahead of you, Thunder.

BrentKockman November 2, 2010 at 9:01 pm

when do we get to launch our billionaire funded, tea-party style grassroots opposition movement?

Beowoof November 2, 2010 at 9:11 pm

I think we need more than one billionaire. Soros alone cannot compete with the republican douche bags billionaires who fund these assholes.

Zvi_Bleindmeis November 2, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Way ahead of you, Brent. *drink*

jim89048 November 2, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Rand just took the government back, for the people of Kentucky. My people are from Kentucky, Beaver Lick Kentucky to be clear, and I'm not sure we are ready for this kind of pressure.

GreasyRabbit75 November 3, 2010 at 5:16 am

Losers! Too. Also.

Spanky2a November 3, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Great reminder just how hateful and violent libunatics are at the core when their facade of civility is stripped away.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: