house of horror

Teapocalypse Now: Liveblogging the 2010 Midterms, Part II

Sad Face?It’s 8 p.m. on the East Coast and probably midnight tomorrow on the Alaskan West Coast, so let’s begin the second awful installment of America’s favorite liberal moan temple, the Wonkette Midterms 2010 Liveblogging Challenge! So far, Republicans have won important Senate seats such as the Rand Paul seat and the Rob Portman seat. Will Barack Obama be removed from office, along with his so-called “health care” scheme? And why did the Economy gang up on Democrats, anyway? Is the Great Recession simply racist? (Yes.) But Chris Coons is the WINNER against Witchcraft and Patriotism! No, please Wiccan goddess in the Sky, do not take Christine O’Donnell from us, for goddess’ sake, we NEED COMEDY now more than ever.

8:00 PM — You may want to consult PART I of our Liveblogging, which is here, or you may just want to drink rum out of a bowl on your lap, with a Krazy Straw.
8:00 PM — Wrestling lady is losing, Marco Rubio is the projected winner, so both wrestling and tanned gay moderates are the losers tonight. There are also many governor races, and you may be interested in the one that occurs in your home state!
8:01 PM — 50% for Rubio, only 30% for Charlie Crist. Like many liberals, we have grown to love Charlie this year. Now, he will be reduced to Twittering about Elton John concerts.
8:02 PM — All cable news panelists are now either a) paid political consultants or b) bloggers. How we’ve grown, as a Democracy!
8:02 PM — Speaking of bloggers, is Howard Fineman now with HuffPo or Boing Boing?
8:05 PM — And Georgia keeps their white Republican senator, hooray! (Civil War began 150 years ago.)
8:15 PM — One day soon there will be nothing left of Chuck Todd but a goatee yammering in a void.
8:18 PM — Years ago, our Sara K. Smith rudely suggested that Sarah Palin was going bald and wearing terrible wigs. Tonight, the Huffington Post joins our brave Pulitzer-winning coverage with this breaking update.
8:21 PM — If you’re a little unfamiliar with some of the 435 House races today, you may have a life.
8:23 PM — CNN once again employs the trademark Shaky Handheld Camera to suggest the lard-ass panelists are moving something other than their mouths.
8:30 PM — Did you know we are also on the Twitter? Of course, you cannot comment on the Twitter.
8:30 PM — The second Senate pickup for Republicans: Arkansas polls just closed and Blanche Lincoln lost.
8:31 PM — And now, it is time to start thinking about how life will be for you, wearing a burqa and forced to have diabetes.
8:33 PM — “About 6 in 10 Del. voters say Obama doing good job.” This is on the front page of the Delaware paper. Why does Delaware hate its “favorite daughter,” Christine O’Donnell?
8:37 PM — Yay Democrats: Gun-nut anti-Obama cretin Joe Manchin has won the West Virginia Senate seat, so he’s off to Washington to, uh, caucus with the Republicans?
8:45 PM — Oh yeah, Richard Blumenthal won in Connecticut, another Democrat Victory for being a professional bullshitter! GO DEMOCRATS YOU GOT THE MORAL ADVANTAGE, over trashy wrestling-teevee ladies, at least?
9:00 PM — Part III.

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Crank_Tango

    Is this somalia yet? Because I have a new pirating business I have been waiting to start…

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I might be looking for work soon, can I send you my resume?
      Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

      • Crank_Tango

        Resumes will be accepted only in the form of messages in old bottles. or pigeons.

      • HistoriCat

        Real pirate don't send a resume – they just steal the damn boat.

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Arrrhh!

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Avast matey! Permission to come aboard!

      • Kitty_Sanchez

        Wait — do pirates ask permission to come aboard? Might need to practice being ruder.

        • TanzbodenKoenig

          I guess that's why libtards don't make good pirates…

        • JMPEsq

          No, modern pirates copy something and than share it with others as long as they're willing to share it themselves, and it's just the worst crime ever.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Dibs on the Captain Jack Sparrow wig.

      • My_pal_HAL

        Looks like Snowbilly is already wearing it.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Dibs on Captain Jack Sparrow. No costume required.

    • DoktorZoom

      Marge: "Are you a pirate?"

      Bartender: "Well…sorta."

    • Beowoof

      Arrrgh Matey, we will be boarding your bank account from here on Wall Street, Damn the regulations take it all.

    • PublicLuxury

      Can I touch your naughty pirate sword? Please?

      • Crank_Tango

        sure why not!

    • http://wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

      I'll bring the rum and some booty.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And may the Great One touch you with his noodly appendage.

  • BeWoot

    Live flog or die.

  • jim89048

    Holy hell, Christine O'Donnell really IS me, in that I've never won a Senate race, either.

    • mog253

      But.. will you end up doing the "Teen Beat – Christine answers your most intimate questions" show on Faux????

      • jim89048

        Maybe she's not so much me, as me-ish.

        • mog253

          Funny, you don't look me-ish. *rim shot* Sorry trapped in a hotel room in Troy, MI, not responsible for my remarks.

    • loquacioustunes

      Now that Christine has lost, is it safe to masturbate again?

      • mildlysore

        Wait! We were supposed to stop!?!

        • kenlayisalive

          Well, you're supposed to stop occasionally. But that's probably why you're a little sore.

          • mildlysore

            Not 'til I go blind. God willing it will be tonight.

    • Beowoof

      She is going in for a pub waxing and will be back as a prostitute who can't cum enough to run for the House Seat.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        If you had been her campaign manager, she might have won.

        (Well, in Delaware.)

  • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    What? Did Alvin concede?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Quitter

      • Redhead

        Palin/Greene in oh-twelve?

    • Beowoof

      Simon and Theodore convinced him it would be best. After that noooooooooooooooo performance he will be in big demand on Idol.

  • Blendergoathead

    Damn. Now that O'Donnell and Greene have both lost, we'll never get to enjoy that moment where we see Greene walk up to O'Donnell on the Senate floor and ask her if she wants to see some porn.

    *sigh*

    • HistoriCat

      Perhaps their forbidden love just isn't meant to be.

  • JMPEsq

    Chris Matthews just called Michael fucking Smerconish a moderate, when the guy is only slightly to the left of Mussolini – yet I realize he may sort of be right, and compared to the teabaggers that evil cretin actually looks reasonable.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He claims to have voted for Obama. He's like all the people in Pennsylvania who voted for Clinton and Santorum on the same ticket. Fuckin nuts.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Fucking Pennsylvania. Fucking Toomey? Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

        Fuck.

    • Beowoof

      Attila the Hun looks reasonable compared to the tea party.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Fuck Toad is wearing his Sunday School suit tonight.

  • MistaEko

    It is now offical

    Christine O'Donnell is us, a loser.

    • JMPEsq

      She's a loser, and Dems picked up Delaware's lone Congressional seat that Castle abandoned to go for what looked like a sure Senate position.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Praise Jesus — not the one who hates muslins, the one who loves us all.

        • TanzbodenKoenig

          Accidentally thumbed you down… Fuckin iPhone touchscreen ( sorry was that elitist?)

  • loquacioustunes

    The Connecticut Democratic (Terrorist) Party is suing to keep the polling places in Bridgeport open another two hours. Apparently, there weren't enough "ballots." But don't Bridgeport residents only need 3/5ths of a ballot? I IS CONFUZED.

    • Katydid

      That may be my only laugh of the night. Thank you.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      No no, Bridgeport has white people. I've seen them. Hell, my brother is married to one.

      • loquacioustunes

        Is your brother a white, too? If not, tell him to consider that marriage annulled once President Palin comes to power!

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          Oh yes, and Jewish. Wife's Catholic. So I'm not sure whether Sarah will send them to a re-education camp or Israel.

  • CookieGuggleman

    Any Wonketeers old enough to remember Mario Savio? Because that's the name I see when I read Marco Rubio. Kind of different species of political types, though.

    • Lucidamente1

      On Planet Bizzarro, Marco Rubio leads the Berkeley Free Speech Movement.

    • Geminisunmars

      Save us, Mario Savio. Whatever happened to him, anyway?

      • CookieGuggleman

        Dead.

        • Geminisunmars

          That's hardly an excuse.

    • BeWoot

      When I think about Mario Savio, I get all choked up.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Ding dong the witch is dead!

    Or getting wasted and scarin guys with her pubes

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Not dead. Fox News will be announcing their new "Analyst" tomorrow.

      • Beowoof

        She is a demon in wolf's pubs.

    • CookieGuggleman

      Or trying to figure out how not to get a real job.

      • Beowoof

        Does she get to keep that left over campaign cash.

    • mog253

      gah! thanks for that visual.

  • kenlayisalive

    Does anyone else get kicked out of their account everytime you refresh, or did I screw mine up furiously trying to hack into the account of that last TeaTard that was on here?

    • Katydid

      It's you. You're us. You're me. I'm Ken. And that's what it's all about.

      • Kitty_Sanchez

        You're drunk already, aren't you??

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      I stay logged in when I refresh (or at least that's what I told Christine O'Donnell after the Halloween party).

      ~25 year old Philadelphian

      P.S. If it's any consolation we love you for trying!

    • JMPEsq

      It's easy to accidentally hit the log out button, just as it's sadly easy to accidentally hit the wrong "thumbs up / down" button (sorry, V####; and sorry everyone else to the up for Stowell).

    • Jukesgrrl

      I re-log in all the time instead of refreshing or back-buttoning. I think Wonkette gets more hits that way. Good for the advertising.

      • kenlayisalive

        Nice. That's thoughtful. If more hits means less Jimmy Smits staring at me, I'm all for that.

  • Kitty_Sanchez

    "…you may just want to drink rum out of a bowl on your lap, with a Krazy Straw…"

    Well, I live in Texas, where the easiest available option for celebrating is the anus burger / corn syrup feeding frenzy. Or Lonestar Beer. I'll have to get creative. Maybe I'll sniff some glue.

    • JMPEsq

      Wait, don't you guys have drive-through liquor stores there?

      • Kitty_Sanchez

        You might be thinking of Louisiana. I lived there years ago. Alcohol is sold in grocery stores, gas stations, pharmacies, and drive-through daiquiri bars. Oh, to be sure, for safety's sake, the drive-thru bars put a plastic lid on drink cups, and secure it with a coupla pieces of masking tape. This makes the drink officially and legally sealed, for safety's sake. *hiccup*

        In Texas, the places where liquor is available for purchase is somewhat more limited. One cannot purchase hard liquor in grocery stores (beer and wine, yes); however, it's not unusual to find charming little shops in remote areas of west Texas that advertise "guns – ammo – beer" so that Texans will not be inconvenienced by having to make two stops on the way home from church.

        • JMPEsq

          Ah, after living in a state where alcohol is only available in state stores (owned by guess who) the idea of buying anything in grocery stores sounds like heaven. Actually, I think PA's ridiculous liquor rules may in part be responsible for the proliferation of government-hating morons in the middle of the state.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Funny you should mention that. The good citizens of The Socialist Soviet of Washington (State) tonight turned down not one, but TWO initiatives to do away with the communist State Liquor Control Board and their well-lit, tidy, well-stocked and reasonably priced liquor stores.

            And yet they also decided we're sending 3 additional Tea Party Patriots in the place of Dems to congress this term.

            I'm shitting bricks, here.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Just take a handful of Xanax and black out until 2012, that's my plan

      • JMPEsq

        Does anyone know any semi-cute European women looking for American wanna-be expatriots? We could exchange joint citizenships.

        • Beowoof

          Me too Me too, god do I want out of this nut house.

        • mildlysore

          I have a feeling "attractive, single European" is about to become a boom industry. It's a seller's market.

  • x111e7thst

    "And Georgia keeps their white Republican senator, hooray"

    When I think of all the effort William Tecumseh Sherman (may Allah smile upon his name) put into that place. It's just sad really.

    • Beowoof

      At least he is not a veteran who left three limbs on the battle field in Viet Nam, then republicans really go after them. Saxby Chambliss needs to eat a bag of salted rat dicks in hell with no water.

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Today, we are all Georgians, y'all.

    • BeWoot

      A century and a half into the civl war, I can't believe the Union resisted secession. Importing all our cotton seems like a small price to pay for losing our Suthren Cousins. Oh, wait, we'd still have Mitch "Tooter" McConnell and Rand "Aqua Buddha" Paul, wouldn't we.

      Sigh.

    • HistoriCat

      Actually, I think I'm going to go with blaming Sherman for not committing fully. Having some rich plantation owners hanging from every tree would have thinned out the herd.

  • Bluestatelibel

    The good news is that now I can finally open my 10-minute, drive-through eye-surgery clinic franchise in Kentucky (10% discount for all Wonkette commentators).

    • Rotundo_

      And instead of getting a pen to sign the release, they give you a whole cup of pencils and the cup! for free if you act now!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Ken, no I don't want to consult PART I of our Liveblogging.
    I want to consult a psychiatrist.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And a person who writes scripts for medical marijuana.

  • bumfug

    Well, great. Now all the giggling gash from Delaware has to worry about is how to spend the money she scammed off the retarded chicken farmers.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      You keep farmin that chicken, Christine.

    • HistoriCat

      Um, when is the other Senatorial race in DE? 2012 or 2014? She'll probably just run for that one as well.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Christ, Rand Paul really did it. Kill me now.

    • kenlayisalive

      And can proudly say he did it without stomping any heads…oh no, wait…

      • LionelHutzEsq

        The power of Aqua Buddha is not to be denied!

  • jim89048

    Wait, did I just see that Nikki Haley is losing, with about .000042% of the votes counted?

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Will Folks is thinking "Consolation Sex"

  • Serfville

    Resignations tomorrow at the White House Press Conference: Tim Kaine & Chris Van Hollen

    • HistoriCat

      Dream on. This will be the start of the "we were too librul!!!" chorus – never mind that the fucking Blue Dogs were decimated in the election.

  • loquacioustunes

    Hopefully, by this time next year, we'll all be on the gold standard, social security will be privatized, all the illegal immigrants will have been deported, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 will be rolled back, no one will have health insurance, millionaires will be taxed at 0%, and marriage will be limited to one man and one woman—literally, Steve Frisch and Julie Glass of Minneapolis, MN. THIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Good thing I got my food insurance from Glenn Beck!

    • My_pal_HAL

      So each of us limited to marrying one man and one woman? I didn't know the Teabaggers were for bisexual bigamy.

    • Beowoof

      Who concocted this dream Steven King or Dean Koontz.

  • BrentKockman

    Chuck Todd has beady fetal alcohol syndrome eyes.

    No one else can speak about things that HAVE happened as if predicting something that WILL happen better than him.

    I hate him.

    [drink]

    • loquacioustunes

      Is part of the "drinking game" that, whenever someone on Wonkette drinks, I have to drink?

      Okay! [drink]

      • Beowoof

        That could lead to serious alcohol poisoning.

  • BklynIlluminati

    Angle must go down too, to complete the trifecta of crazy loser but i will accept Joe Miller as well

    • My_pal_HAL

      So if O'Donnell, Angle and Miller do down, Murca will not have completely lost its mind? Hooray!

    • Beowoof

      Carl Paladino is still lurking.

  • JMPEsq

    So far, the lesson is that both overt racism and physically beating liberals wins; and if Buck, Miller, or any of the other "force rape victims to give birth " candidates win, add overt sexism. The 2012 primaries should be, well, interesting.

  • rocktonsam

    O'Donnell signs HUGE contract with Fox News in 5, 4, 3,..

    Or Penthouse.

    • Beowoof

      Sort of a back country bush type of show.

      • LionelHutzEsq

        Penthouse hasn't had a bush like that in their magazine since 1981.

    • JMPEsq

      Too soon!

  • PublicLuxury

    Sarah Palin has a fucking dog on her head.

    • Katydid

      I know Republicans do things differently than us, but how do they get their hair to grow from a haircut?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Nate Silver says there's an 87% chance thats a wig.

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      I think it's a wolf.. shot from a helicopter.

    • Jukesgrrl

      That's what she gets for letting an elitist from New York City do her hair. He's probably at a bar now laughing his ass off with all his friends.

    • CalamityJames

      Trig?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Christine must have finally shaved her bush.

  • PalinPussyPower

    If a fired NPR employee gets $2 million, and a quittin' AK governor gets about double that, how much will Fox News pay a failed Delaware candidate with zero work history? I'm thinking they might have to take out a loan.

  • loquacioustunes

    I gave up cable t.v. this summer, so my only source of election news is — and I'm not making this up — constantly refreshed New York Times and Wonkette websites, the glass of Glenfiddich I'm drinking, and Steve Reich's Four Sections cranking on the CD player.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Quit wasting your time on the Times. Wonkette knows all and finding it out here is less painful somehow.

    • Beowoof

      I keep thinking about dropping the cable. Then my fapping would have to decline, as no skinemax.

      • HistoriCat

        If only someone would invent something which would allow you to access sexy-time videos straight from your computer – that would be a hit!

    • Oppenheiner

      I'm watching Al Jazeera over the air here in DC and I have to say, I'm pleasantly surprised at the coverage. Needs more holograms, tho.

    • Chet Kincaid

      Cool music. I've been meaning to explore Reich and other minimalists ever since the 80s King Crimson, although I hate the Trig-like stylings of Phillip Glass. Better get to it, before Culture is outlawed!

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      I haven't owned a TV for a year, so me too, except I'm checking the L.A. Times cause that's where I live and I want to know if pot is legal yet. I understand I will be able to possess up to an ounce, which should get me through tomorrow.

  • BklynIlluminati

    I never get exit polled you think its my big "end is nigh!" sign?

    • My_pal_HAL

      I don't think you want your exit poled. Unless… never mind.

  • GuanoFaucet

    The horror…the horror…

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Let me get the funnel…

  • lumpenprole

    You'll be dead from alcohol poisoning before you read this reply.

  • bagofmice

    There goes Wednesday.

  • BklynIlluminati

    Wrestling skank got pinned and hit with a folding chair! Diablo! Is that blumenthals music i hear playing!!!!!!

    • BrentKockman

      I'm sure that's impressive back on omicron persei 8

  • obiwanacracker

    Reading the goat entrails today was confusing–long lines at the polls, hooray! The average age of people around me as I voted? About 87.5–less heartening.

  • MathIsHard

    Sarah's new hair is reminding me of Dark Helmet.

  • JMPEsq

    A great loss for steroids tonight in Connecticut.

    • loquacioustunes

      Thankfully, Steroids didn't shrink Dick.

  • BrentKockman

    I've already called in teaparty

  • Jerri

    I hope you have a working set of gills and a tank of booze to float in, because I don't know when you'll have time to breathe otherwise.

  • PresBeeblebrox

    WDEL was just at O'Donnell HQ. She is not conceding yet because Fox hasn't called the race. They're hoping for a Come From Behind Victory (as opposed to a come-on-her-behind victory). Also, O'Donnell threatened to sue.

    • Katydid

      She threatened to sue who?

      • PresBeeblebrox

        She really didn't threaten to sue. Yet.

        However, they did turn off all of the teevees in her victory HQ when the race was called for Coons.

        One of our three counties has not reported yet. They think that county, which has more soybeans than people, will propel her ahead. Huh?

  • JMPEsq

    Heh, the new Arkansas Senator is named Boozman, but like with Boehner the media is intentionally mispronouncing his name as "Bozeman". Oh and of course Lincoln lost.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Fuck that yeasty cunt and good riddance. Thanks for no public option bitch

      • JMPEsq

        Yeah, can't say I'm sorry to see her go; and hey, maybe in his more out-of-it moments the Boozeman will accidentally vote the right way.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    As for Palin's hair. Maybe just going on FOX News causes your hair to poof out like that. Or it could be a helmet to protect her when she falls for from Socialist sending bears to eat her. Or an homage to Christine O'Donnell. Or she is overcompensating for her small brain. All I know for sure is that I will not decide to vote for her until I know how trim or untrimmed she keeps her girl parts.

    • Chet Kincaid

      When the tiny kernels of ideas in her mind swirl in the tempest of empty, hot air up there, the volume under her hair that should contain a functioning human brain swells up and out. See Jiffy Pop.

  • Katydid

    Fox just called Blanche Lincoln to go down in Arkansas.

    • jim89048

      Ewww! Do not want!

    • phaVoom

      on whom?

  • loquacioustunes

    Hey, look: the Republicans and "Greens" (???) are suing in my state, Connecticut, saying that it was "illegal" to provide photocopied ballots to the brown/illegal people in Bridgeport!

    EDIT: From the article, "The Green Party said there was no space for write-in candidates on some ballots." Oh, BOO-FUCKING-HOO, Green Party.

    • natoslug

      Republicans and Greens are just focusing on our core principle: White landowning males only.

  • MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    I can't believe Elizabeth Montgomery didn't win. I was so looking forward to seeing Darrin at the Senator's Ball.

  • Lucidamente1

    Palin's not going bald–they just had to shave her head before inserting the new word salad talking point generator.

    • Kitty_Sanchez

      Oh yeah! Weren't those all the rage about 15 years ago?? "Salad spinners," I think they were called… I'm pretty sure I have one taking up space in a kitchen cabinet.

  • BrentKockman

    Blanche Lincoln just accepted the 3pm Sunday shift as a WalMart greeter in Fayetteville

    • Beowoof

      She should be scrubbing toilets in the rest room the homeless use.

  • MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    BREAKING – Palin concedes, returns to Stupidstan to write book.

  • BrentKockman

    Manchin won, by shooting actual democratic legislation with his pussy .22 rifle

    How long before he shoots actual democratic legislaTORs?

    • HistoriCat

      Does that include Independents caucusing with Democrats? I would hide Bernie Sanders but Lieberman would be OK.

  • JMPEsq

    Darth Vader cries, the technological terror space destruction laser looses in West Virginia's Governor's Race.

    • Kitty_Sanchez

      Aw, shoot. No layzzzzerrrrz?

      • JMPEsq

        Not yet; I'd say this was a victory for rationality, but it's West Virginia so it's more likely people were scared because lazers sounded too science-y.

  • CookieGuggleman

    It's going to be OK. It's going to be OK. It's going to be OK. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

  • http://protoplasm.wordpress.com Hipple, Rev. Paul T.

    Wow!!! This has the looks of a good ol'fashion curb stomp!!!!

    • kenlayisalive

      Tonight, we are all hippy ladies trying to hand Rand Paul a piece of paper.

  • Katydid

    Hey, I forgot! I scored some valium at the dr's today. Here, I brought enough for everyone. This should help a bit.

    • BrentKockman

      here take a few swigs of my jamesons to wash it down

    • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Woof!

    • Limeylizzie

      I don't drink, but I have always been fond of the downers.

  • BklynIlluminati

    Sestak killing it

    • SudsMcKenzie

      definite joementum!

    • Winnie_Cooper

      Don't jinx him, bro.

  • kenlayisalive

    You know, watching c-span, you really get a sense of just how full of drunk and stupid retards America really is.

    "When Obama won, I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. That lasted about two weeks till he was taking our rights away with the health care bill"

    SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    • glindsey1979

      "You know what? It is quite possible for the majority of the people in a country to be complete fuckwits." — Me, responding to just about every "suck it libtards, America has spoken" troll.

      I mean, shit, Hitler was elected.

      • kenlayisalive

        He only got 34% of the vote or something. Probably some kind of German Ralph Nader that allowed that shit to happen.

      • JMPEsq

        And you know who else was elected, and then managed to dismantle democracy into a dictatorship?

        That's right, Augustus Caesar.

    • Jerri

      A few years ago I just started assuming that a good 80% of the general public is hopped up on something all the time, whether it's illegal stuff, or just your every day effects/side effects of the many prescription drugs/Redbull & Fish Oil concoctions our fellow citizens may be on at any given time. It may not be true, but it does help explain things.

    • Spanky2a

      You know, watching c-span, you really get a sense of just how full of drunk and stupid retards America really is:
      "I wont have to worry about putting gas in my car, I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage..

      You know, If I help him, he's gonna help me."

      • kenlayisalive

        Case in point.

        Fuck you, jack off.

        Sorry if I want people to not pay for their health insurance for years and then get dropped when they get sick. Not exactly like Obama filling up your gas tank.

        But you wouldn't understand that, you fucking piece of shit.

        • Spanky2a

          You're hot when you act butch.

          • kenlayisalive

            Ah, go kill yourself shithead.

          • Spanky2a

            Great reminder just how hateful and violent libunatics are at the core when their facade of civility is stripped away.

  • WriteyWriterton

    Okay, I voted. I'm sure the candidate I personally like – but did not support in a spasm of ill-timed independence – will lose by one vote to the troglodyte I despise. Time to set up the vodka IV drip.

  • JMPEsq

    Yaaaay!

  • loquacioustunes

    If anyone is in the mood to get weepy, here are some tracks that might help:

    THE "TEABAGGERS-HAVE-WON" PLAYLIST 2010
    Warren Zevon – "Keep Me in Your Heart"
    Judee Sill – "The Kiss"
    Peter Gabriel – "Come Talk to Me"
    Blur – "Sweet Song"
    Joni Mitchell – "Shadows and Light"
    Rufus Wainwright – "Vibrate"
    Elvis Costello – "I Want to Vanish"

    Add your own by hitting "Reply"!

    • kenlayisalive

      Nice. Love Judee Sill and Warren Zevon.

      Suicidal Tendencies – Institutionalized http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/watch?v=UuOmsGXzn

      • Katydid

        I'm going to have to go with, "Lawyers, Guns and Money." The shit has, indeed, hit the fan.

      • loquacioustunes

        I'm glad someone else knows of Ms. Sill. I started listening to her because Andy Partridge, my favorite musician of all time, cited her as a bigger influence — albeit on a more subconscious level — than anyone else. That song gets me every time.

        • CookieGuggleman

          I'll add The Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows" just because.

        • kenlayisalive

          That's what got me, there was a tribute album for her recently, had one of my favorite performers on it.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        I'm thinkin' too, nite. Maybe "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road."

    • glindsey1979

      I have to counter with the "Fiddling While Rome Burns" playlist — starting with "It's the End of the World as we Know It" by REM and "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads — from our earlier thread.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      The Doors – The End

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll
      BOC

    • waitforsugar

      What sort of sad songs list is complete without this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJTiXoMCppw

    • MarcelleMarceau

      Dire Straits – "Money For Nothing"

    • deleted2364667

      My first post here – apologies if the link doesn't work, but this sums it up for me:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Bn0Kq7rls

      Yes, I voted.

  • FNMA

    Somebody has to do it: O'Donnell goes down.

    Or maybe not.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Nazi sympathizer and dress-up boy Rich Iott loses to old school Dem-Liberal-Progressive Marcy Kapture.
    Nice going, Toledo.

    • glindsey1979

      On the plus side, he can help people with their goosestepping as we slide further into fascism.

    • kenlayisalive

      Well, this is a bright spot. America has decided against electing actual nazis. Sigh.

  • MistaEko

    Hey, kids! Did you enjoy going to the Jon Stewart Rally? Did it make you feel good inside? Did you like gathering around with all your friends and feeling important and like you could change the world?

    Well go fuck yourselves and die alone. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20021551-5

    • glindsey1979

      I find myself once again falling back on the old adage… we get the government we deserve.

    • MistaEko

      oh, so sorry nobody liked that one.

  • mirrorballdc

    I'm hearing McMahon will demand cage match at Wrestlemania 27

  • MistaEko

    Alan Grayson Dies Quickly.

    • jim89048

      Sad, though I expect an email thanking me for all I did for him, which I believe amounted to zilch.

  • Katydid

    lolololol…I'm watching Fox News just to see Sister Sarah's new wig, and they're actually playing a long commercial for the original hoveround right now. There's a catchy hoveround song and everything!

    • MistaEko

      Now I'm free to seee the woooooooooooorld
      (but they won't)

    • Jerri

      Oooh, the one where they go to the Grand Canyon!? I always liked that one.

  • JMPEsq

    And fuck, Alan Grayson's gone; that makes Frank the only Democratic Congressman with balls left. Fuck you, Florida!

    • glindsey1979

      Well, fucking fuck fuck fuckity fuck. I respected that guy IMMENSELY.

  • Beowoof

    So there is a republican congress cunt on now talking about repealing health care. Good deal, those of you with preexisting conditions fuck off and die.

    God I live in a country full of retards.

  • Winnie_Cooper

    I'm still at work and keep reloading philly.com to see who my new senator and governor will be. 4% of precincts reporting, and it looks like they must all be from Philadelphia, because the numbers are way more skewed than the final numbers will be. Dems 70%/Repubs 30%? Only until Pennsyltucky reports in.

    But yeah, for the rest of the country's results, I need to go to my happy place in my head.

  • Katydid

    OK, O/T here for a moment, sorry, feel free to ignore me, but NBC just released excerpts of an interview with dubya about his new book, and the prick says the worst moment of his presidency was when Kanye West said he doesn't care about black people.

    Blah blah blah blah, "Yes. My record was strong I felt when it came to race relations and giving people a chance. And– it was a disgusting moment."

    What does he mean, exactly, about "giving people a chance" when it comes to race relations? Am I overreacting to that?

    • Beowoof

      W is clearly not very bright. The worst moment in your presidency was you running and hiding when the country was attacked on 9/11. You were a coward when it came to fighting in Viet Nam and you were a coward as a president.

    • kenlayisalive

      Yes, surely that beats the day he realized New Orleans levees had broken, or the day someone told him there were no WMD.

      What an utter piece of shit.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Not in the least, as long as you don't go sideways and end-up taking a tire tool to the dog. Hold the edge, and when Shrub drops by and offers to autograph his ghost book, use the tire tool on him.

      <this is satire secret service, satire>

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      It's all relative. W fancies himself an open-minded and anti-racist guy. He hired Condy and Colin, fer chrissakes. He spoke out against Muslim-hating. It is Connecticut-prep-school filtered through adopted Texan redneckishness. He allies himself with the evangelicals that are nice to the black people who come to his church. He doesn't use the word "nigger," even though some of his golf buddies do.

      I must be drunk already.

    • Chet Kincaid

      He feels worse about what Kanye said than about what happened to all those people in New Orleans. Thus proving Kanye's point.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      What about when he went to Dover AFB at four in the morning to see the coffins of dead soldiers return? Oh wait, that was Obama.

  • kenlayisalive

    Conway conceding on c-span. gah.

    GAH.

    When will America stop rewarding its head stomping fake doctors?

  • JMPEsq

    Oh god, the congresswoman who Matthews is interviewing is an idiot; "What will you cut?" "We'll cut the budget" "But what programs?" "The budget"

    • PresBeeblebrox

      The Teabaggers are about to have a Robert Redford/"The Candidate" moment tomorrow- now they have to realize they actually have to GOVERN instead of being ass-clowny.

    • Winnie_Cooper

      That's their secret: they just aren't going to track the budget anymore. Think of how much money they will save by not paying attention to how much they are taking in or spending! Those are needless government reports.

    • Beowoof

      She really had no answers only talking points. Now that the republicans have been elected, they have it tough, they have to do something other than say no.

  • BklynIlluminati

    MSNBC just called the house for the republicans

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Ohio has over 9% employment, so they elect Rob Portman, a guy who helped Bush send the jobs overseas.

    I'm surrounded by fucknozzles.

    OKAY, time to switch from wine to vodka drinks.
    ~

    • Beowoof

      Jobs, who cares, money for republicans, working people can screw off.

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Way ahead of you, Thunder.

  • BrentKockman

    when do we get to launch our billionaire funded, tea-party style grassroots opposition movement?

    • Beowoof

      I think we need more than one billionaire. Soros alone cannot compete with the republican douche bags billionaires who fund these assholes.

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Way ahead of you, Brent. *drink*

  • jim89048

    Rand just took the government back, for the people of Kentucky. My people are from Kentucky, Beaver Lick Kentucky to be clear, and I'm not sure we are ready for this kind of pressure.

  • GreasyRabbit75

    Losers! Too. Also.