dubious honors

BREAKING: White Male Is Washington Post’s ‘Next Pundit’

Conor Willliams wins the title of America’s Next Great Pundit 2010, and along with it a three-month contract with The Post and a launching pad into the world of punditry.

Isn’t it more of a diving board than a launching pad?

Anyway, congrats, Conor! Now go sponge down Krauthammer with this bucket of vinegar.

And so we bring the second season of America’s Next Great Pundit to a close. And we leave the final word to you. What was your favorite part of this year’s contest? What should we do differently if we do it again?

Replace your whole opinion roster with Ford Tauruses. [WP]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  • SayItWithWookies

    Congratulations Conor Williams — your most important assignment will be to avoid disappearing without a trace like the previous winner.

  • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

    It is a diving board, and as Krauthammer can testify, it's at the shallow end.

  • lochnessmonster

    I still say Krauthammer is Howdy Doody…ever notice how skinny his neck is and how wide his shirt collars are?

  • tribbzthesquidz

    It's like launching a Maxi-Pad in a catapult.

  • elviouslyqueer

    "Working on a PhD in Government from Georgetown" = Lindsey Graham's Lord of the Privy Chamber.

  • SecretMuslin

    What is this "Washington Post" of which you speak?

  • lumpenprole

    "… the world of punditry."

    Can we nuke that world from orbit?

    • HistoriCat

      Pretty please – it's the only way to be sure.

  • Amaravilha

    Hooray! Sociopathy for all! Accountability for no one! Sinecures for mediocrities! Dreams of bombing Iran for all!

    The stable of Washington Post pundits: even the horses can't stand the stank.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Rich Whitey would have won but he was too busy as the Green Party standard bearer in Illinois.

  • savethispatient

    "America’s Next Great Pundit"? I thought it was called "American Idle"

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Ah, so the Post is admitting that they can find a better pundit by just throwing shit at a wall then looking at their own editorial page. At least this is something.

  • natoslug

    About time. The white male demographic has been seriously underrepresented in America. First the Washington Post, next the Presidency! We shall overcome.

    • HistoriCat

      Power, brother!