TERROR IN THE SKY: Scary Things Found On Plane Somewhere, Maybe

  shit on planes

Somebody maybe found a bomb (a 45-cent crate-opening pocket tool) on an airliner, and now the plane has landed, in Oregon. There was a note, too! (Maybe threatening?) Combined with the UPS/FedEx/Cast Away horror of last week and something mailed to Germany from Greece, we are going to need to anally prod a lot more toddlers with “stun guns” at TSA checkpoints everywhere, immediately:

A passenger plane has landed in Portland, Ore., after an onboard threat involving suspicious items was reported.

An official told CBS News there was a report of a threatening note and box cutters on board Delta Flight 90, a regularly-scheduled flight from Narita Airport in Tokyo.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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19 comments

  1. JMPEsq

    Box cutters! After the events of September 11 and flight 93, I'm sure that tactic would work perfectly again and not be followed by the would-be terrorist getting by every other passenger, so this very likely to be another terrorist and not some dumbass who forgot what was in his luggage.

  2. bagofmice

    You know, 50 dollar locks on the damn doors patched that security hole. Active countermeasures to 9/11 were deployed within minutes by the people on united 93.

    There is no need for anyone to lose their shit.

  3. harry_palmer

    Since the Repubs can't raise the threat level to fuscia on election day until the Kenyan socialist is deposed, this is their best alternative in the meantime. They forgot to cover the boxcutters with anthrax!

  4. GravyBoyJohnson

    Did the note say: do as we say or we'll kill you with the box cutters attached to this letter?

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Hey, did anyone else not notice that Karl Rove got subpoenad? This apparently happened last week and this is the first time I've seen anything about it. Of course it's not for anything relevant to today — just election fraud — so, you know, it probably just got beaten out by more important coverage, like a black man standing in front of a polling place.

  6. nounverb911

    I went through security at Narita on Saturday, their security is just as good as the American TSA version. (Whatever that's worth).

  7. HateMachine

    "…a regularly-scheduled flight from Narita Airport in Tokyo."

    2channel is behind this, somehow.

Comments are closed.