Voters across the nation are going to the polls today to vote “Yes” or “No-Good Elitist Bastard” on Barack Obama, our nation’s president and only member of our government, and most people think most people in most places will choose that latter option. And since this is vote is not actually a complex array of hundreds of individual elections, and nothing a “Congress” has done the past two years will affect it in any way, we can totally say this is a direct referendum on the president. And that guy sucks, doesn’t he?
Here’s the Wall Street Journal for you, who says that Barack Obama’s surname is not “Roosevelt”:
Decades ago another president directly addressed Americans in a time of far greater peril. “Your government has unmistakable confidence in your ability to hear the worst without flinching and losing heart,” Franklin Roosevelt told his national audience. The occasion was a fireside chat delivered Feb. 23, 1942. No radio address then or since has ever imparted a presidential message so remarkable in its detail, complexity and faith in its audience.
No “radio address”? What American has even heard a radio address? What American is willing to consider a complex speech “remarkable in its detail”? And how can a president have “faith in his audience” when none of them cares or even is paying attention? This is precisely the problem: Obama needs to hype his presidential addresses by telling Americans he will show each individual some really good stuff from his or her favorite genre of porn as soon as he is done speaking, provided they are able to answer five basic questions about his speech correctly.
The times are now vastly different—no one expects a candidate with the powers of an FDR these days. But the requirements of leadership don’t change. Despite charm and intellect, Americans have never been able to see in Mr. Obama a president who spoke to them and for them. He has been their lecturer-in-chief, a planner of programs for his vision of a new and progressive society.
Certainly, they never saw him as a president “who spoke to them and for them.” And that’s why they never elected him president by a huge margin.
It’s interesting how a newspaper calling for message complexity makes no mention of anything Congress has done to affect this Congressional election. No, perhaps “interesting” is not the word we’re looking for. “Is No Roosevelt”? Is that the phrase we want?
It doesn’t matter. Any and all shit you can say about Obama the next few days is completely valid. IT IS ALL HIS FAULT HIS POLITICAL PARTY LOST SOME SEATS IN THE LEGISLATURE FOR EVERY SINGLE REASON YOU CAN POSSIBLY COME UP WITH.
All we know is that Obama’s teleprompter should resign tomorrow, as Chris Matthews said, because it’s the administration official most responsible for Democrats in Congress sucking at their jobs. [YouTube/WSJ]
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmW-ScmGRMA
I for one refuse to pay any attention to presidential speeches unless I am offered drugs to go with my porn.
Election Day! Next to campaigns and politicians, the greatest threat to democracy.
He did explain all that, Chris. But when the other side is full of blithering morons who stick their fingers in their ears and sing LALALALALA SOCIALISMS~ LALALALALA, you can't expect the message to get through their skulls.
This country, I swear to God — We get a shiny new bicycle on Christmas day, and then not two weeks later we want to throw it back in the shed and start wheeling around our busted tricycle which nearly drove us into a ravine because learning to ride the bike was "too scary."
blithering morons who stick their fingers in their ears and sing LALALALALA SOCIALISMS~ LALALALALA
Oh, and don't forget a certain orange-hued politician whose idea of Congressional compromise is screaming "HELL NO" like a 2-year-old with Tourette's. Or, for that matter, another certain soulless-eyed, turtle-faced politico who has made his Senatorial Job 1 to make sure the smarty-ass uppity negro doesn't get re-elected in 2012.
Is it too early to start drinking?
It's 12 o'clock somewhere.
massive fucking WIN! let's DRINK!
Once upon a time, the WSJ was merely boring as all hell. I wonder what happened.
Peggy Noonan, martini lunches & Percocet. Also.
And John Fund–one of the biggest douche bags professionally & personally.
The concept of a fair and objective press is quaint, uniquely American, and obsolete.
Barry himself pointed out not too long ago in an interview that there was only a brief window of a few decades of "fair/objective journalistic professionalism" before "he who owns the press" came roaring back.
Yesterday in WSJ: "While delays in the foreclosure process are costing bond holders and mortgage servicers, defaulting homeowners living in–or even renting out–their homes are getting a pretty tidy subsidy… That subsidy is worth about $2.6 billion a month, according to a WSJ analysis. That’s .25% of U.S. personal income, roughly equivalent to the benefit top earners receive from Bush-era tax breaks."
See, you freeloading criminal mortgage defaulters? You already got your fucken stimulus! Don't tell WSJ about how you spent your mortgage payment buying meds for your sick kid, or lost your job. You're fine!
Good to see the Murdoch Effect in full flower.
People living in their own houses instead of cardboard boxes is class warfare!
The WSJ doesn't need to run comics, they've got the editorial page.
It's the same as printing the same "Terry and the Pirates" strip 26 times on 2 facing pages.
It was bought by Rupert Murdoch.
Muuuuuuurrrrrrrrrdockkkkkkkkkk! (shakes fist at sky, vomits)
Because the WSJ speaks for me, I wish they'd make up their minds on whether or not we're in great peril.
Are we, or aren't we? Speak to and for me, Newscorp!
There is a black guy in the WHITE HOUSE, until that changes we are all at risk. At least that's how I interpret the News Corp Meme.
Are we a nation of pussies or what?
We want our president to make us feel special while he fixes our boo boos like the Godhead Ronald Reagan did.
Except wait, he and his party increased the debt by the greatest percentage of GDP and sent us on the long march of shipping our jobs overseas, reducing taxes for the wealthiest, getting us to loath the government, deregulating wall street, and wasting trillions on the military industrial complex.
I guess we just want a president to make us smile when he's giving us the buttsex for his special interest. Why would we ever think a Muslin Kenyan would ever be able to make us feel good with his stimulus?
And don't forget chucking all our mentally ill veterans out onto the street to starve to death; really loved the troops, our Ronnie.
Blasphemy! Tell it to the heroes of the Liberation of Grenada!
Some quacks churned out by a z-grade medical school shall hear about this!
THAT IS ALL LIES BECAUSE FREEDOM
thanks for that, I've been posting this every time I see another of my wingnut relatives post an asinine 'Obama's a Socialist' comment on their FB page! morons…also http://reaganbushdebt.org/
Considering how the Wall Street Journal spends so much time trying to shit on the legacy of the 20th Century's greatest president, I find the comparison just a bit disingenuous.
Tweety is already jumping on the Obama's-a-failure bandwagon? Too soon, buddy! At least wait til the polls close.
Screw waiting for the polls to close! This meme has been set in stone by the media for the last 10 months and they are never wrong!
Tweety pisses me off daily. He is an arrogant little puke. He is puffed up with his own importance. He doesn't realize he is a has been
He was soooooo indignant over the Comedy Rally. He got his ass handed to him from Jon Stewart and he didn't like it so he marginalized it. So did Keith Olbermann. They both deserved to get kicked around by Jon
Stupid fuckin morans… they are teatards in demon sheep outfits.
So what they're saying is Obama should abandon this weak-sauce semi-left reforms and kumbaya bullshit, sit down in his favorite ass-kicking wheelchair and socialize the god damn hell out of this country, just like Roosevelt did. Got it.
Fuck yes. I am already in line for toilet paper.
I, for one, will NOT welcome our new Teabag overlords. Also and tutu.
It's too bad Obama's eldest daughter is just 11, because if he could encourage one of the girls to get herself pregnant and the other to go on Dancing With The Stars, I have a feeling he could use that to really "connect" with the American people.
Or he could quit the job and start tweeting.
Is that one pregnant again?
Dumbasses voted for W because he seemed like someone they could have a beer with, although the guy didn't drink. Not so much Obama — who holds beer summits and gives cocktail receptions for Republican members of Congress. Yeah, Obama has nothing in common with the average Joe.
Right. He "didn't drink." He also didn't "do copious amounts of blow." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Pedobear says 11 is just right.
Fireside Chatz? tl;dr
Also, Glenn Beck is no Father Coughlin.
… investment advice and higher education!
Actually, if he had addressed the country exclusively by radio then most of the country wouldn't have realized he was black. Do you think Roosevelt would have had such a long run if the country knew he was crippled?
Omigod. Obama's lost Chris (tingle in my thigh) Matthews. He's doomed!
I stopped watching/listening to Tweety long ago. Is he still asking that question he started in 2005?
Lecturer-in-chief didn't spend enough time explaining things to us, which makes him elitist. Got it. Makes sense to me. Does it to you also?
Remember when President Obama gave two prime-time press conferences in two months and he terrified poor Peggy Noonan because she started seeing black men on tv everywhere? It's either "He's too visible! Stop showing up everywhere!" or else it's "He hides in his ivory tower and doesn't tell us what's happening!" Either way, it's apparently not presidential. Which means white and Republican.
What the hell is the Wall Street Journal talking about? Where do you see radio addresses in the Constitution? Tell me, because I don't see them. Go ahead and look for them; you will not find radio addresses in the U.S. Constitution. (Maybe they meant the Declaration of Independence?)
Don't you know that Obama is in total control of Congress and the economy? He's king who can make everything right in the world, create jobs out of thin air and voters are rightfully angry that he hasn't used his constitutional superpowers to fix everything. Jimmy Carter and George Bush Sr. found out too late that all they have to do to make everyone happy is to fix the economy. E'nuff said, Barry, better get to work.
The times are now vastly different—no one expects a candidate with the powers of an FDR these days.
I beg to differ.
Voters now expect a candidate with the powers of an Jesus with lazers.
"Laser Jesus" is my next band's name.
I seem to remember that in FDR's day, there were no such thing as "launch codes."
When does he start the spankings? (Spank me, spank me!)
Now I have a fantasy of bespectacled Professor Obama, calling me to stay after class one day because my grade is slipping. We're alone in the lecture hall, and he leans carelessly against the lectern up front. I plead with him, "Please, sir, I'll do anything to bring it up again."
"Oh, you'll bring it up, alright," he whispers, removing his glasses and stroking his inner thigh. "What you lack is a good sense of discipline. It's my job to drill that into you. Lesson number one: Always do what teacher tells you…"
Excuse me, I gotta go Vote for Chris Coons, if you catch my drift.
Haha! It's a good thing for America that our votes only count if we're Republicans who are mad at the colored man who is taking away our freedom to have a white President.
Because if they counted all the votes of Democrats, the Democrats would win, and everyone knows that this is a center-fascist nation.
Maybe Obama can get W. to write his speeches for him. At least the Gehy Giants crushed the Texxicans.
Who lectures? SMART PEOPLE lecture. And SMART is UNAMERICAN! LONG LIVE THE IGNORANT REDNECK DUMBASS!
"Lecturer-in-chief" is a pejorative only to those who couldn't sit through their GED exam.
"What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is this? Questions? Thinking?? Ah man, screw this. You don't need no learnin' to work Drive-Thru."
It ona counta his speaking in complete sentences. Real Amurrikans can't pay attention to a complete sentence. They prefer grunts and popping noises.
Where are our watchdog media, our poll challengers, our King Street Rednecks? It's already 8:47 rocky mountain time, I have yet to see any big voter fraud headlines on Fox, Breitbart, Redstate, etc.
Meet me at the polls. We'll go knock a few heads together.
Sully has an election night bingo card for the pundits. It's good–if we started now, we'd be passed out by noon (CST).
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_d...
Wait. So it's Barry's fault we have an insufferably ignorant electorate? What about the vaunted "press"; and their constitutionally protected obligation to INFORM the electorate? I did hear Charlie Sheen is getting a divorce. Right. It's Obama's fault.
Reportin' and stuff is hard. Besides, asking the wrong questions will get you disinvited from all the best parties.
I don't know. They seem pretty good at informing the electorate that Democrats are terrible and we all hate them.
i guess this is good news for john mccain.
"Not everybody went to grad school!" Somehow, this is Obama's fault, too? Thanks, you human spittoon.
Christ! Next they'll be rounding us up and taking us to the American equivialent of Katyn Forest.
See you there, fellow Grads.
Wait, the Wall Street Journal just praised FDR. Am I high? Are they?
Archie Bunker is rolling over in his grave.
Oh, the nonsense is everywhere — on Charlie Rose last night some guy (I was doing other shit & therefore distracted) was saying that whatever happens today, it's a victory for the teabaggers. Huh? The Republicans could win and still all the teabagger candidates could get flushed down the toilet, so it's a little premature to be saying that — but when even my public television is no refuge from the idiocy it's a good sign that the analysis this evening is going to be full-on acephalic.
What are the odds that Christine O'Donnell accidentally votes for Coons?
What are the odds that Christine O'Donnell remembers to vote at all?
Good point. There's a photo of her coming out of a voting booth, but heaven only knows what she did in there.
That lever looked awfully…firm.
I'm guessing, masturbated.
Shit likes this makes me extra sad I can't stay here and commiserate with the Wonkeratti, who are surely on their way to hell with me when the Teabaggers are raptured up.
Prayer for the Day, (because we need it):
Lord, please compensate me for my service in your cause ALL THE DAMN DAY AND HALF THE NIGHT (caps to make sure She notices) by leaving us here and taking the Teatards. You can start with Spooky Doktor Tom, who's prepared because he expects it any minute anyway, which is why he doesn't give a shit about global warming. Oops, sorry Lord, of course you already knew that. My bad.
More prayers need the phrase "my bad" in them.
I'm hearing your last paragraph in the voice of Janis Joplin.
Yes Teabaggers, rapture the fuck up!
Genius.
Only Hypnotoad can save us now!
All glory to the hypnotoad!
I get so confused by serious media like the WSJ. I thought this Obama guy got elected by what constitutes a huge majority in American politics on a platform of reforming health care, ending torture, drawing down our involvement in Iraq, being smarter about our involvement in Afghanistan, and, oh, trying to get GM back on its feet and prevent the financial system from melting down. Also, he was going to try and reach out to the Republicans. He said he would have enough confidence in our Constitutional forms to prosecute a campaign against terrorism within those forms.
He did all that.
Now, he is either too much of a compromising wheeny, or he is an over reaching idiological zealot.
Races have tightened up everywhere he has campaigned, but he no longer speaks to or for the monolithic Americans.
He accomplished more in the last two years than Bush did in 8, working "with" a GOP lead by Jim DeMint's "just say no" policy.
The Supremes opened the flood gates for Corporate cash to deamonize Pelosi and Reid; and all this makes today's election proof (even before the returns are in) that Barry is no FDR.
When did the WSJ become a fan of FDR?
yeah, and Bush was elected on platform of bringing "honor and dignity to the Oval Office". Epic fail.
We may look back on Obama's first years as the last time bi-partisanship was seriously considered. With ideological news platforms, separate sets of facts, silo'ed voters, there's no reason to compromise.
You know that the WSJ is Rupert Murdocks rag now, right?
I'll catch you guys later. As I've broadcast, I'm working at a church dinner until this evening, doing shit for Jesus who is showing his appreciation by bringing on the Teabagging, Tard, Hatriot Apocalypse. Maybe he wants to punish our church because we love members (and their money) because it was learned we didn't hate gayz enough. I should get a second opinion from a Unitarian on that.
Go Democrats! (Sad face). Go United Methodist First church on making money to compensate for the badness of being decent people!!!
I'm a Unitarian. You don't.
It's Barack Obama's fault I couldn't get out of bed and go to the gym this morning.
Can I have a job writing columns for the Wall Street Journal now?
Even though I'm not from San Fran and don't care about baseball, I think I'll post this 1 million times today. Charlie Krauthammer, October 29, 2010:
"My prediction: The Dems lose 60 House seats, eight in the Senate. Rangers in seven. "
Mainstream media/conservative takeover PR checklist drafted Wed Nov 5, 2008
1. The president is foreign and has a "worldly" sensibility, not like other Americans that never have even left the country, so this is bad
2. The president is smart, and this is bad because most Americans are not smart and they don't like listening to smart people tell them things
3. Anything Obama accomplishes will be bad because it goes too far. Or not far enough. This will upset Americans that are against what he does, as well as those that support what he should have done
4. Anything Obama does not accomplish will be an enormous failure of his policies and will represent a wholesale rejection of him by the American people
5. Under no circumstances should Obama be described as empathetic, understanding, compassionate, or in touch with the struggles of the American people. He will always and forever be disconnected, aloof, and by default out of touch.
6. Organizing, grassroots, populist support for Obama will all be characterized as bad things. They will either be described as artificial "special interests" or "indoctrination" in a fascist-socialist-style totalitarianism.
7. Claim that legislation includes insidious things that are not actually in the laws. Blur what is actually in the laws and give them bad-sounding names like "death panels" and "death taxes."
8…?
9…?
etc…
10. Profit!!!
Gah! Beat me to it!
8. References to his childhood should only mention the father he scarecly knew. No mention should be made of his upbringing in a working class family with pretty typical challenges.
9. In describing his educational background, use Ivy League at least once and elite twice. Do not even speculate on how he got there.
The TP'ers and Repubicans HATE "elites". But we tried a "C" student in the White House last time and it was a fucking nightmare. So I vote (literally) for the "A" team. But the TP'ers are serious, they should nominate the most non-elite candidate they can find: Sarah Palin, unexceptional in every way.
"unexceptional in every way." ?!
She's exceptionally annoying. And exceptionally opportunistic. And hypocritical. And … do I need to go on?
Please God no.
Oh i forgot to mention #11. Find and/or fabricate as many instances of black on white racism as possible. See Andrew Breitbart for how to…
He doesn't talk down to the American people, when the vast majority of them are dumb and probably should be talked down to.
So does this mean that 80 years from now the WSJ will have a column telling us that whoever the Democratic president is, she's no Barack Obama?
HAH! A Democratic president in 80 years. That's a good one.
The two-party system in 80 years will be (a) Tea Party, or (b) I want to spend the rest of my life at Guantanamo Bay.
And yet Obama's average approval rating has hovered on 45% for months, his personal approval is higher, and there are undoubtedly at least a few percentage points that are disappointed liberals, all while still mired in the middle of a a terrible economy and two years now of shrieking "He's a Muslin!" from the right. Could reality and "the narrative" be not entirely in sync? Unpossible, I know, but maybe we should consider the possibility.
Clinton left office with a higher approval rating that Reagan, but, for reals, the people were tearing themselves apart over the shame he brought on us all.
But according to Monica Crowley, the only poll that counts if the Harris Poll that shows Obama's approval rating at 38%. And she will also point out that it took YEARS for George Bush to drop to a 38% approval rating, where Obama managed to do it in less than two years. And that's proof that tonight the lynch mob will assemble outside the White House and drag Obama out and hang him from the highest tree on the White House lawn.
I still have hope that George W. Bush's memoirs will come out before the damn polls close today.
"He has been their lecturer-in-chief, a planner of programs for his vision of a new and progressive society.'
FDR gave the American public Social Security and the WPA – the American public was grateful and rewarded him with re-election.
Obama gives the American public health care reform and economic stimulus programs – the American public stands around and bitches about socialism and taxes (which poor people don't pay).
The problem is not the leader. The problem is the American public is too stupid to understand what is in their own best interest.
"Decades ago another president directly addressed Americans in a time of far greater peril."
Ok, someone smarter than me (a fuckin' elitist!) please correct me if I am wrong, but I am under the belief that the Great Depression affected only the good ol' USA. The recent banking crisis affected THE WORLD. Had Barry (like everyone else, I'll ignore the fact that Bush did it) not bailed out the banks, the world financial system would have crashed. And the pinch of that near failure is felt by all countries, not just us.
So, basically, what I'm trying to say is that there was no time of greater economic peril.
The Depression affected the entire world, too. The difference is that it had been going on for three and a half years when FDR took office, and people were willing to actually give him time to turn it around, which he did; Obama meanwhile has prevented another depression and gotten the economy moving again, if slowly, and everyone is all, "HE DIDN'T FIX EVERYTHING OVERNIGHT FAILURE FAILURE!!"
Actually, the 1930s Great Depression was a global thing.
[/elitist]
Thanks to all who posted. I guess I was overly influenced by articles like this:
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va...
And, of course, failing History in high school didn't help….
But, could we agree then (trying to save some face here!!!!) that the perils are "equal"?
And, of course, we all know who else benefited from the Great Depression.
One teeny-tiny difference: in 1929 all the warehouses & factories were mothballed but still American-owned & functional. In 2010, not so much.
Oh, plus, in the Dirty Thirties many people in the cities had relatives with family-farms to go to so they could at least work for food & lodging. Don't hold your breath waiting for Cargill & Monsanto to install Bed-&-Breakfast programs.
I guess Matthews just remembered that Obama was black, after all.
It is the eternal debate in Tweety's head between Tweety Bunker and Tweety Meathead.
I never went to graduate school, no wonder I don't understand what the hell is going on. I am just going to vote Republican now.
Who the fucking hell is Dorothy Rabinowitz? Well, other than a small-minded cunt. of course.
Obama's mistake was treating the voters like rational adults, who could figure things out if they were given the facts.
This was Clinton's error as well, President Clinton I mean. When Larry Flynt started outing conservative politicians every few weeks, the Dem establishment decided that wasn't sporting and seemingly convinced the esteemed Mr. Flynt that he would not be wise to expect some sort of return expression of gratitude. Even in the aftermath of the Clinton Impeachment debacle, Democrats have still not seen the wisdom in finding the worst information about their opponents and hammering that information. The fact that Rand Paul's opponent focused on "Aqua Buddha" instead of the many and real deficiencies of Paul as a candidate proves my point, and you all owe me several beers, to be administered simultaneously.
Gah, Chris Matthews should be tarred, feathered, beaten, quartered, sewn back together without anesthetic, tied to the bumper of a truck and dragged on a complete loop around the Beltway, and then skull-fucked with a barbed-wire-wrapped dildo for that little speech. What a mound of utter bullshit. What a motherfucking asshole. GAH!
I tried watching the video, but as soon as the round asshole started yapping about teleprompters and elitism, I had to shut if off. I've learned that there are certain key words that will pop up to warn you that anything the person speaking says is going to be pure bullshit. Tweets hit the elitist/teleprompter cue at 19-22 seconds. Any chance we can vote political commentators out?
Yeah, I forgot to mention that in my little screed: teleprompter cracks, Chris? Motherfucking teleprompter cracks? I take back what I said, skull-fucked by a barbed-wire-wrapped dildo is too good for that turd.
Add a little habanero sauce to the dildo and it should be good enough for Tweets.
That's a waste of perfectly good hot sauce. Especially when you can get Drano at the dollar store.
I can't watch this garbage. Life is so fucked up I can only handle it with Wonkette as a potholder.
Is it humanly possible to slobber more than Tweets?! I want to conduct a for real scientific experiment having him and Trig in a slobber contest.
But back to the point, sort of, and sort of seriously: I find it amazing that with Teatards and Republicans throwing all they got: Kenyan, muzlin, commie, soshulist, Nazi, Hitler, death panels, Obamacare, elitist, teleprompter who ain't one of us, and then the economy crawling along, and THEN people like Tweets, that Obama STILL has an approval rating higher than Reagan or Clinton. They gotta be seriously baffled – wtf can we DO to get that approval rating down under 40?!!!
Jesus fucking Christ Chris Matthews and the rest of the "traditional" media, maybe if you hadn't spent the last two years so terrified of being called "liberal" that you parroted any insanity Fox News could concoct, hadn't spent the last year and a half making out the 20% Tea Party as the "voice of the people," and spent a few hours of your precious 24-hour news cycle just reporting on President Obama's dozens of speeches, town hall meetings, radio address and those of his administration, then he wouldn't seem so elitist. Maybe, if instead of focusing minute-by-minute on the legislative wrangling over healthcare, instead of giving credence to "death panels" and "NAZI SOCIALISM!!! and birth certificates, you had reported what sane analysts, the CBO, and Democrats were saying about healthcare, financial reform, and unfortunate but necessary bailouts and stimulus…maybe then the people who actually watch cable news would have a more fair and balanced perception. Fuck you all so very very much!
I guess the thrill has gone back down Chris' leg. Tool.
I see the Dow is up a gazillion points because we're gonna have a two year long Boner.
I just noticed the super on the TV screen: "50% of Tea Party want return to principals of Constitution"
What does the other half want–return to the divine right of kings?
It is a sad statement, when being intelligent has been made into a bad thing. And even sadder that there is a group of people that believe it.
Does anyone know what time Ow! My Balls! is on tonight?
Tweety has diaper-rash again – & this is my shocked face. We need a Prozac IV & a bib on set, STAT!
Is he 12? Elitism? Teleprompters? WTF? Sorry, Chris – that whole Talking Asshole riff is only funny coming from William S. Burroughs.
Every time another pundit-turd falls on Obama, a Blue Dog DINO has an orgasm.
I hope Obama wipes the floor with these ignorant pundits and screwball teatards. He needs to get his fight on and show them whose president. Hint: It isn't an orange chain smoking ignorant fuckball.
The fireside is a burning cross.
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