Let the Great Crapping-On of Obama Begin

Voters across the nation are going to the polls today to vote "Yes" or "No-Good Elitist Bastard" on Barack Obama, our nation's president and only member of our government, and most people think most people in most places will choose that latter option. And since this is vote is not actually a complex array of hundreds of individual elections, and nothing a "Congress" has done the past two years will affect it in any way, we can totally say this is a direct referendum on the president. And that guy sucks, doesn't he?

Here's the Wall Street Journal for you, who says that Barack Obama's surname is not "Roosevelt":

Decades ago another president directly addressed Americans in a time of far greater peril. "Your government has unmistakable confidence in your ability to hear the worst without flinching and losing heart," Franklin Roosevelt told his national audience. The occasion was a fireside chat delivered Feb. 23, 1942. No radio address then or since has ever imparted a presidential message so remarkable in its detail, complexity and faith in its audience.

No "radio address"? What American has even heard a radio address? What American is willing to consider a complex speech "remarkable in its detail"? And how can a president have "faith in his audience" when none of them cares or even is paying attention? This is precisely the problem: Obama needs to hype his presidential addresses by telling Americans he will show each individual some really good stuff from his or her favorite genre of porn as soon as he is done speaking, provided they are able to answer five basic questions about his speech correctly.

The times are now vastly different—no one expects a candidate with the powers of an FDR these days. But the requirements of leadership don't change. Despite charm and intellect, Americans have never been able to see in Mr. Obama a president who spoke to them and for them. He has been their lecturer-in-chief, a planner of programs for his vision of a new and progressive society.

Certainly, they never saw him as a president "who spoke to them and for them." And that's why they never elected him president by a huge margin.

It's interesting how a newspaper calling for message complexity makes no mention of anything Congress has done to affect this Congressional election. No, perhaps "interesting" is not the word we're looking for. "Is No Roosevelt"? Is that the phrase we want?

It doesn't matter. Any and all shit you can say about Obama the next few days is completely valid. IT IS ALL HIS FAULT HIS POLITICAL PARTY LOST SOME SEATS IN THE LEGISLATURE FOR EVERY SINGLE REASON YOU CAN POSSIBLY COME UP WITH.

All we know is that Obama's teleprompter should resign tomorrow, as Chris Matthews said, because it's the administration official most responsible for Democrats in Congress sucking at their jobs. [ YouTube / WSJ ]